Disclaimer: why is it that we always want what we can't have? ok, so while your thing about that I'll just tell you that I don't own anyone or the song.

Song: (Everything I Do) I Do It For You

A/N: ok, so I just got back from a trip around the U.K and if any of you have been watching T.V you'll know that coming back to the U.S isn't easy!but I'm here now although I'm going away yet again. Anyhoo here's the story ENJOY ;)

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"Abigail" answer me please "okay. Let me know when you want to talk" I need you. I need to talk to you. I need to tell you how much I'm hurting. I need to know that you still love me. "I love you Abbie" a tear dropped from Olivia's eyes as she closed the door to there bedroom.

Olivia knew that Abbie was hurting and she wanted nothing but to take the hurt away. She got up and went over to the bar in the corner of the living room and poured herself a glass of vodka. What are you doing. You don't drink vodka. "Yea, well tonight I need something strong" she whispered to herself. She stood by the window and leaned her head against it and cried. She thought she felt someone behind her, but when she turned around and looked into the darkness of the room she saw nothing "I gotta get out of here" she grabbed the sweatshirt off the hook by the door and made her way down to the car.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

As Olivia walked into the church she felt a wave of guilt rush over her. You can do this, it's not you fault that you never really went to church. As she stepped into the small booth she let out a breath that she wasn't aware she was holding.

"Forgive me father for I have sinned" she drew in a deep breath "it has been over eighteen years since I have even stepped foot into a church"

"I'm sure you had you reasons"

"I can't do this" she stood up and ran out of the booth. She sat in her car conti plating going home. In the end she decided to go to a twenty-four hour Starbucks.

"Hey, what can I get started for you tonight" the woman behind the counter sounded as if she herself had one to many cups of coffee.

It's waaaaay to late for her to be that perky! "hey, I'll umm, I'll have a Venti coffee" I hope I don't end up like her!

"Sure thing ma'am" the girl smiled and rag Olivia up "that'll be two dollars even" the young lady waited for Olivia to give her the money "thank you and have a nice night" she smiled and shut the cash register with the lower half of her body.

As Olivia walked away she thought about putting sugar in her coffee never mind the fact that you got a venti coffee, but now you want to put sugar in it "I don't think so" she said as she made her way out the door.

It was half past four in the morning and Olivia had to pee. I knew I shouldn't have went back for that second cup of coffee. She parked the car and ran into the house. She was half way to the downstairs bathroom when she remembered that the toilet wouldn't stop flushing once it started. God dammit. Okay Olivia we can do this all you have to do is run as fast as you can up the stairs. She bolted for the stairs and skipped three at a time while undoing her pants. She could here the shower going. She looked up. I know I've done some bad things in my life and I regret most of them but this god, this is by far one of the coldest things you've done to me. She grabbed onto the doorknob and prayed that it was unlocked. She twisted it and found that it went all the way. Thank you. She rushed in to the bathroom and fell onto the toilet. Ahhh. She flushed and cursed herself "sorry baby I forgot you were in there" when she didn't get a response she pushed open the glass door " oh god, Abigail" she fell to her knees and picked the younger woman from off the floor of the bathtub "your so cold" she reached for both towels on the rack " I gotta get you into the bedroom" she lifted Abbie up expecting to have a hard time but found that it wasn't that hard.

"I'm fine, I just got a little lightheaded" it was no more then a whisper.

Olivia put Abbie down by the fireplace and went to get the blankets off the bed "you wanna tell me why your lying to me" she sat behind the younger woman and wrapped the blankets around her.

"I really don't want to talk about it right now" she hoped that the other woman would drop the subject.

"Okay" she felt a tear run down her face. Not now Olivia, now is Abbie's time, now you have to be strong for her. When she went to wipe her tears away she heard a sniffle "its okay, just cry babe" she whispered in the other woman's ear.

"It's all my fault" she closed her eyes and sobbed.

Olivia picked up her head "no it's not. You couldn't have known what was going to happen"

"I'm her mother, I should have done something. It hurt so much and I didn't do anything" she put her hand over her mouth.

"Wait, what do you mean?" Olivia's right eyebrow was raised "Abigail" she said the name quietly but with enough force.

"My mother" she took a deep breath "the pain started when I was talking to her" she rolled her tung over her top teeth "I wasn't feeling well the day before but I made nothing of it. But when I was talking to my mother, she just, she made me so mad" by now Abbie was all the way in the corner with her knees up to her chest so that she was hugging herself "if I could I would go back and change everything, but I can't. Please don't be mad at me" she let out a sob.

Olivia just sat there. She had never seen the younger woman this way. Abbie would never do something like this on purpose. You gotta trust her Liv, you gotta trust that she didn't know. She made her way over to the other woman "shh, it's okay I'm not mad at you" she pulled the woman into a hug and rocked back and forth "I love you and I will never ever blame you for this" she tilted her head back trying to keep her tears from falling.

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After awhile they both fell asleep. When Olivia woke up she could feel every bone in her body yelling at her to get up. She stood up and then bent down to pick the other woman up. She walk over and placed Abbie in the bed and then got in to.

"The radio"

Olivia smiled "okay" ever since they first moved in with each other they both found that they liked having the radio on when they slept. As she sunk back into the bed, an all to familiar song came on. She pulled her lover close and sang along.

Look into my eyes
You will see, what you mean to me
Search your heart, search your soul
When you find me then, you'll search no more

Don't tell me its not worth trying for
You cant tell me its not worth dying for
You know its true, everything I do, I do it for you

Look into your heart, you will find
There is nothing there to hide
Take me as I am, take my life
I would give it all, I would sacrifice

Don't tell me its not worth fighting for
I cant help it, there's nothing I want more
You know its true, everything I do, I do it for you

There is no love, like your love
And no other, could give me more love
There's nowhere, unless you're there
All the time, all the way
You cant tell me its not worth trying for
Just cant help it, there's nothing in the world i want more
I would fight for you, yeah I'd lie for you
Walk the wire for you, yeah I'd die for you

You know its true
Everything I do, I do it for you

When the song was over all Olivia could do was cry. She got up and walked down the stairs. Don't drink Olivia, it's not going to take the pain away. You gotta talk to her, tell her what your feeling. She walked out to the car and got in. She started it up and pushed the cigaret lighter in and waited for the light to come on. When she felt that it was hot enough, she rolled up her sleeve and let her fingers fall upon the other marks. Don't do it Olivia, you've come this far. "Shut up" she took the lighter out and pressed it into her skin. She rolled her eyes into the back of her head. She picked up the lighter again and placed it on another spot on her arm. She continued to burn herself on her arm and her thy.

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When Abbie woke up, she felt the part of the bed next to her "Liv" she waited for a response. When she got nothing, she decided to go look for her. Good lord it's cold in here. When she walked down the steps, she saw the garage door open. No wonder it's cold. She rolled her eyes and called into the air "Liv you gotta stop leaving the door open at night" she went to go close it and that's when she saw someone in the driver's seat of there Range Rover "Liv sweetie, is that you?" she slowly walked over to the car "this isn't funny Liv" when she got to the drivers side, she was shocked at what she saw "Leni..."

A/N: ok so I'm going to leave it there and maybe I'll update while I'm away. But I'll only do it if you review.