Disclaimer: I own nothing
"Honey what do you think about breast feeding?" Olivia asked as they were both getting into bed.
Abbie's head shot up "I uhh" she didn't know what to say.
"I wanna try it" she saw the look of confusion on her lovers face "when I took Maddi to the doctor the other day she asked if I had thought about it and at first I didn't want to do it but then she told me about how it would help her in the long run" she walked around to the other side of the bed where her lover stood "I told her I would have ask you and make sure it was ok"
She knew Olivia and Maddi were close just like her and Banini. Deep down she knew that it would help their daughter and she kinda liked the thought of her wife showing her feminine side.
"My doctor said that all she would have to do is prescribe hormones that imitate the hormone levels of pregnancy and then I would have to take another drug called a galactagogue" she took the others woman's hands in hers "it sounds like a lot but she said if I start now, by next I'll be able to breast feed although it will only be a few drops at first we still gotta keep her on the formula" her eyes were glistening with hope.
Abbie sat there thinking it all over. Are you jealous Abigail? She asked herself no! she looked up at her lover. She already wants more kids and with her job you'll be the one carrying the child and that means you'll be breast feeding. She locked eyes with the older woman "ok. Lets do it" a big smile crept over her face.
Olivia let out a deep breath "I was hoping you'd say that cause I started taking the hormone pills yesterday night"
Abbie wrapped her legs around her wife's hips and pulled her down to the bed "so does this mean you gunna be crying at all of the commercials on tv and stuff like that" she started tickling the older woman.
Olivia covered her mouth trying to keep her laughter at bay "I guess were gunna have to find out" she could feel her face turning red.
"Shhh Leni, your gunna wake the kids"
"Uncle" Olivia was gasping for air.
"Mama" they both turned there heads towards the monitor on the night stand. Ever since they made there midnight run to the ER with Banini barley breathing and finding out that the little boy had asthma, they had decided to put a baby monitor by his bed so that they could hear him while he was sleeping. The doctor told them that they had to pay extra attention to him while he was sleeping cause that's when he could easily have an attack.
Olivia put her hand up "Wait, he might just be calling out in his sleep"
"Mama" it was followed by a little sob.
Abbie quickly pulled on a pair of sweat pants and a tank top knowing the young boy like the skin to skin contact. She turned to the woman in the bed "can you put on some coffee and hot chocolate I have a feeling this is going to be a long night" and with that she made her way out into the hallway. She barley opened the door when she herd little foot steps coming towards the room. She flipped on the light that was right outside and took a step while closing the door behind her. "Come here baby" she squatted and held her arms out.
Banini ran down the hall and into his mothers arms "I don wanna go bawk" he dug hid fingers into his mothers shoulder "don make me go bawk"
Abbie slipped her hand under Banini's shirt and started rubbing his back "shhh...breath sweetie" if he keeps this up we might be making another trip to the hospital she stood up and walked into the livingroom and sat in the recliner by the window "tell me baby boy, tell me what's wrong" when he didn't make an attempt to say anything she tried to think of what would help. God, what is that song Leni always sings to him she gave up and pressed the remote for the stereo and Moonlight Sonata lapsed out of the speakers. She reclined the chair and let the little boys head rest on her chest "breath...in and out baby...slowly" when Banini didn't seem to be calming down she called for her lover "Leni can you come out here and bring the blanket" she kept whispering words into the child's hair.
Olivia grabbed the big blanket out of the closet in the hall and made her way to the livingroom. She crouched down by the occupied chair "hay, what's wrong" it was just a whisper.
"Can you take him for a minute and take his shirt and pants off" when she saw the confused look and her lover bout to protest she added "please and thank you" and with that she ran back into the bedroom and took off her pants and put on her shorts and then took off her shirt and put on the bra she wore out side when she was jogging. She ran back down the hall and seeing her son in just his pull-ups.
"Mama" Banini held is arms out to Abbie.
Abbie sat back in the chair and picked Banini up "ok buddy...shhh...breath" she felt him relax a little with the skin contact.
Olivia unfolded the blanket and cover her lover and son "I'll be in the kitchen if you need me"
"Tell me what's wrong baby" she moved his shoulder length hair out of his face.
"Pwese don make me tawk bout it"
"Only if you promise to calm down" when she didn't get an answer sh added "or you might get another fish attack and that means you wont be able to breath that good and then we have to use the machine" she felt the boy relax a lot more and all that could be herd was sniffles. "Mommy's making hot coco and if you ask her she might give you some animal cookies, whatcha say?"
"Ok"
"Alright lets go" she walked into the kitchen and put Banini in his high chair with the blanket around him.
Olivia gave the little boy a sippie cup with luke warm coco in it and put a bowl with a suction grip under it so that the boy wouldn't knock it off "there you go buddy" she walked over and turned on the tv that was on the island.
Abbie looked at her son something's bothering him she watched as the little boy took a sip of coco and then took his ring and middle finger and stuck it in his mouth better start saving up for those braces.
"I'm done mama"
"Ok baby" Abbie took off the tray and unstrapped Banini "let mommy put or cloths back on while I clean up"
Banini looked from one woman to the other and then said "can I sweep in yourw bed?"
"Well I was thinking that we could take the airo-bed out and you and I could sleep in the livingroom. How does that sound?"
"Ok"
"Ok" Abbie echoed.
After Olivia got the livingroom set up she went back in the kitchen "he's lying down watching Lion King for the umpteenth time" she wrapped her arms around her lover "you both are losing weight"
"I know ever since he had that asthma attack everything's been goin down hill"
"And what's your excuse?" it came out more harsher then expected "Abigail I'm sorry that came out wrong"
Abbie started walking back to the bed room "Banini me and mommy will be right back" she pointed her finger at the older woman "in the bedroom now!"
Olivia blew out a deep breath and followed her lover into the bedroom "listen Ab-"
"Take off your cloths"
"Pardon me?"
"Leni Olivia Serena Benson stop fucking around with me"
Olivia tried to go out the door but was stopped by a hand pulling her wrist "Abigail. Let. Go"
"Fine if you wont take them off I will" and with that she quickly straddled her lover one the bed and took off her pants and shirt.
"Why are you doing this?" she knew why.
She ignored the question "how many cuts did you have when you left the hospital? And I swear to god Leni if you lie your gunna wish you'd never met me"
"Twelve" it was barley a whisper.
Abbie rolled onto the bed "Stand up"
Olivia did as she was told.
Abbie started counting cuts and burns "these look fresh" she pointed to some burns on Olivia's thigh.
"There not"
"Ok" she licked her thumb and put it over the burn and pushed on it.
"Owww shit" Olivia hissed and slapped Abbie's arm away. "Stop it. I'm not your child I can take care of myself"
"Leni I thought we agreed that you would stop cutting and burning"
"And I thought we agreed that you would eat"
Just then the door opened "mama when are you gunna come to bed?"
Olivia tried to cover herself but was to late.
"Mommy what happened to your leg?"
Olivia turned and faced Abbie "I'll be in the nursery with Maddi" she grabbed her cloths and made her way down the hall"
Abbie picked the little boy up before he could ask anything else "lets go finish watching the movie"
AOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOA
Banini slowly turned the doorknob to his parents room and walked on the balls of his feet. When he reached the bed he stood there trying to figure out a good way to wake his mother "mama" he whispered.
Abbie felt the boys presence the first minute it stepped into the room but decided to wait and see what was going to happen next.
Banini walked around to the other side of the bed and tried with all his might to climb onto the bed. Finally when he got on top he yelled "MAMA" and giggled.
Abbie shot up and put her hand to her chest she knew the boy was up to something but never thought it would be that. "Hey I see someone's feeling better"
"Jep"
"That's good" she lifted the boy off her and stood him on the floor "go get ready Alex will be here any minute" she watched the little boy run down the hall and into his room. Abbie went into the kitchen and found a note.
Abbie,
Got called into work.
Should be back by one.
Call the cell if you need me.
Love Leni
P.S Maddison was awake and keeping herself occupied but you might want to check on her just to make sure she's ok.
Just as she was putting the paper down the phone rang "Benson residence"
"Hey Abbie it's me Alex"
Alexandra Cabot was out of WPP and living in Texas. They told her that she was free to go back to New York, and she tried it for a half a year but then decided that it wasn't the same as before she left. She thought it would be nice to get away so she moved about eight miles away from the Benson's.
"Hey darlin"
"I was just calling to tell you that I'll be there in about five minutes"
"Ok"
"Alright bye"
"Bye"
Abbie grabbed the bottle out of the fridge and put it in a cup of hot water when she felt that it was warm enough she walked into her daughters room and went over to the crib "hey short-cakes" she picked the baby up "are you hungry" she took the cap of f the bottle and slid the nipple into the baby's mouth.
"I'm weddy mama" Banini walked into the room with a pair of overalls on and a Thomas The Tank Engine thermal on underneath.
"Good job buddy" she put her hand on the back of his head and ushered him out of the nursery "go grab you shoes and I think mommy put your leather jacket on the back of the chair in your room"
"Mama I can't find it"
"Ok babe I'll help you" she turned and made her way back to her sons room. She peered down at the little bundle in her arms "all done" she slipped the bottle out and put her pinky in. "Ok Banini lets see if we can find you jacket" as she walked over to the closet she made a mental note to turn off the humidifier "found it" she pointed to the lower bar in the closet.
"Oh" Banini smiled up at her.
"Yeah" Abbie bent down to eye level "Banini" she waited for him to look at her "remember, if your not feeling well and you feel like your gunna have a fish attack, tell Alex ok"
"Ok"
"Good now get you boots" the words barley left her mouth when she herd the doorbell "coming" she looked through the peephole. Alex was holding a tray with cups in it "please tell me one of those are for me" she opened the door and felt the late December breeze hit her body. Quickly she pulled her sleeping daughter close "in NOW" when she was sure that the other woman was inside she closed the door.
"I come barring coffee and hot coco"
Abbie smiled "I knew there was a reason that we're friends" she ushered Alex to the kitchen "but I couldn't think of it till now" she eagerly took the coffee.
Alex figed hurt and playfully slapped Abbie on the arm "that's the last time I ever bring you anything from starbucks" she took Maddi out of Abbie's arms "is it me or does she look a little pale?"
"Be carful she has the flu and hasn't been keeping-" before she could finish, the exact thing she was trying to keep from happening happened "anything down" she uttered the last part slowly.
Alex closed her eyes and let out a deep breath "I guess this is something to look forward to when I have my child" she handed the screaming baby over to Abbie.
"There's spare clothes in my room"
"Thank you" as Alex made her way towards the back she looked into Banini's room and saw something that brought a smile to her face. The little boy was lying on the floor with one hand behind his head and his ring and middle finger from his other hand in his mouth. She smiled and continued down the hall to her destination. She shrugged off her coat and shirt. She stood in the mirror and put her hand over her growing stomach. Five more months.
"How far along are you?"
Alex swung around and pulled on a shirt "umm...uhh..." she played with the hem of the shirt "four months"
Abbie walked closer to the other woman "I didn't know you were that serious with someone"
"I'm not"
Abbie lifted her eyebrows and smiled "well if I was taught correctly, it takes two people to make a baby"
"Can we not talk about this right now" a tear slipped out of her eye before she could stop it.
It all clicked. She's seen it plenty of time's before. How could you miss this Abigail? The signs were everywhere. She's not herself. You should have known. "Oh. My. God" Abbie put her hand over her mouth "Alex no" she sat on the bed "when, how, why didn't you tell us?"
Alex let her tears fall "I couldn't remember" she put her hand up "no, I didn't want to remember" she walked over to the window "I thought that if I just pushed it out of my head that...that maybe...maybe it wouldn't be true" she put her hand on her stomach "but then I found out I was pregnant and I knew that wasn't going to be able to keep what happened a secret"
Abbie walked over to the other woman "it's ok me and Liv will always be here for you" she took Alex's hand in hers "trust me, your gunna get through. Just give it time" she wrapped her arms around the woman as they both cried.
AOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOA
Olivia was sitting at her desk when she felt a sharp pain go through her. Something's wrong. She felt another pain. Oh yea, something's wrong. The first person she thought to call was "Abbie" she whispered. She picked up her cell phone and hit number two on speed dial "come on Abbie pick up"
"Hello" Abbie's voice was horse and Olivia knew she was crying.
"What's wrong" Olivia grabbed her coat and ran out the door "Abigail!"
"It's Maddi. Me and Alex are at the hospital" it was barley audible.
"Where's Banini?" Olivia was now speeding down the empty road.
"Alex took him over to my dads. Leni?"
"What?"
"HURRY"
And with that they both hung up.
AOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOA
Olivia ran towards her wife at the end of the hall "Abigail" she slid to a stop right next to her. "How is she. What's wrong?"
"Leni" sniffle "when I went to go check on her she was barley breathing" sniffle "so I brought her here and they said that the flu that she had developed into pneumonia"
Olivia was going to say something but was interrupted "doctor she's crashing" a middle aged woman ran into the room.
Olivia, Abbie and Alex just stood there in shock. Olivia closed her eyes. God, I know I've done some bad things in my life and if I knew it would lead up to something like this I never would have done it. I don't do this often but now god, now is when I need you the most. Her eyes flew open.
The doctor step away from the table. He looked at the clock "time of death 12:01"
Olivia couldn't belive what she was hearing. She grabbed on to Abbie "no, no, no your lying. What are you doing keep working" she felt her lovers arms pulling her back.
The doctor took off her gloves and walked towards the three women"I uhh...I am so, so sorry for your loss"
"She's not gone" Olivia said through tears "I might not have given birth to her, but I'm telling you she's NOT gone. I can feel it" she made her way over to the table where her daughter was and put her hand on the body. She's not even three months old god. Is this punishment? Cause if it is then you are one sonofabitch. I was happy. I had the life, Wife, and kids that I always wanted. I guess whatever I did inexcusable because I never thought someone as powerful as you could do something so cold hearted. She felt something move under her "doctor either I'm imagining this or she's really moving" she opened her eyes and looked down at the baby.
"That's impossible" she took the stethoscope from around her neck and placed the head on the little girls chest "well I'll be dammed"