History Repeats

Disclaimer: Still don't own VM or any of its characters

Author's Note: I'm not such a fan of this chapter. It didn't come out quite the way I imagined it to. I'll try and get another one written tonight if I can finish my work. I teach second grade and lesson plans need to come before chapter three. Let me know how you like this…I hope it all makes sense!

Logan's not sure when he fell asleep, or for how long, but it was still dark out when he woke up. Not the pitch-black darkness he arrived in, but more of an early morning glow, when everything is still and calm. He turned to look at Veronica and was somehow not so surprised to find her missing. Upon closer inspection he found her sitting at her computer, head in her hands staring at the screen.

"Hey" he said gently, "how long have you been up?"

She turned to look at him slowly, still cradling her head in her hands. "I'm not sure," she responded, her voice hoarse and quiet. "An hour maybe, I don't remember ever falling asleep. I think Dad must have slipped me a sleeping pill or something, I have so much to do, I know I wouldn't have gone to sleep on my own."

"What do you have to do? Can't it wait? Veronica you need to take some time to yourse…"

"I have to write his eulogy, Logan. Alicia asked me last night. She said since I am…was" she turned her head away from him and finished the sentence facing the wall, "since I was his best friend, he would want me to be the one to deliver it." He listened to her try to catch her breath and watched her muscles stiffen in an effort to control herself. He knew telling her it was ok to be upset was a lost cause, and furthermore, he was afraid to see what "letting go" would entail at this point.

"Look Logan, I know I asked you to come back, and I really do need you here with me, but I'm going to need some time here," she turned to him and he looked at her with a critical eye. Her face was shadowed and her eyes were dark and bloodshot. She wasn't hysterical, but tears seemed to be falling down her face at their own pace, and she had pretty much given up trying to wipe them away.

"I'll do whatever you need, Veronica. Anything" he wanted to take the pain away. God this was going to kill him, to see her in so much agony. "Come here, Ronnie" and he stood up to take her in his arms and was surprised when she pulled away.

"No Logan," she squeaked. "This is what I'm talking about. I need to stay strong right now. If you hold me, I'll lose it and I need to write this eulogy and be prepared" she was losing her composure once again but struggled valiantly to regain it, "I need to be prepared to deliver it tomorrow. I know you want to help me, but I only know how to do this alone. It's the only way I've dealt with this before and I know it will force me to hold it together and get through tomorrow. So please, just let me work. I'm not asking you to leave, but please give me space."

"I'll give you all the space you need, Veronica. I won't touch you and I'll go sit in the other room. But understand this," he walked up and put his large hand on her cheek, "You are not alone, and I will not let you go through this alone. Not this time, not ever again."

He kissed her on the forehead and walked out of the room, shutting the door softly behind him. It killed him leaving her in tears, and hearing the poorly concealed sniffles and hiccups, but he knew it's what she wanted. He could even understand it was what she needed. He knew she felt like she needed to be strong right now, to pay her final respects to Wallace. He also knew that when it was all over, she would allow herself time to fall apart.

All the same, in case that time came earlier than she expected, he wasn't going to move from his spot…perched right in front of her bedroom door, leaning into the wall to hear if she started to get more upset. He was ok leaving her alone for the time being, while she was holding herself together (albeit barely). But he was not about to let her fall apart alone.