"This is my private email. Do you mind?" House scowled and turned the laptop away from prying eyes.
"Must be from your better half," Wilson remarked dryly. "I can wait." He plopped in a chair while soft clicking from the keyboard skimmed along the office. "Why don't I have your private email address?"
"What do you need it for, so you can send me the latest Garfield comic strip and Paris Hilton gossip?"
"Well, that too...," the younger doctor smirked. "Let me guess, your email has the word 'Vicodin'
in it somewhere."
"You're funny, Jimmy. I'm sure you keep the marriage counselor in stitches."
"I just referred to Cuddy as your better half and you didn't even flinch."
His fingers paused over the keyboard, House spared his friend a quick glimpse.
"Let me finish typing this, Jimmy, and maybe I'll throw in a flinch or a jolt. Then if I'm feeling really frisky I'll sprawl across the carpet and have a grand mal seizure just for you."
The typing resumed without comment. One minute later House turned the computer back around. It showed the local news page.
"Here, you can look now," the diagnostician sighed, "but I've decided to skip the seizure."
"So you're not disagreeing with me about the better half?"
"Which answer will make you shut up about it?"
"Okay, I see..." the oncologist grinned. "She's been gone half a day and you're already coming unglued. I have my answer. I'll shut up now."
"Is it your turn now, Cameron?" House raised his eyebrows as the young woman stepped into his office. "See the truth is Dr. Cuddy is chained up in my basement...wait, I don't have a basement. Okay, she's locked in my attic...but I don't have an attic, either."
Cameron stopped at his desk, her impassive gaze unbroken.
"Did you see my bike in Cuddy's driveway?"
"Twice."
"And you never mentioned it. I see. Lesson learned, albeit the hard way, right?" he said apathetically. "Chase and Foreman found that out today. You might want to console them some more."
The young doctor shifted from foot to foot. "Chase told me what you said, about what happened between him and me."
"Your darling Chase asked for it, and if he does it again I'll be right there to throw that colossal blunder right back in his face without a second thought, no matter how good his intentions are."
"Or mine," she said in a dejected voice.
"Or yours," said House. "I play rough, remember? However, what happened that night is between you and him and it shouldn't have be thrown in anybody's face anymore."
"It shouldn't have to begin with."
"I know," he responded, leaning forward with his elbows on the desk. "Now if Chase can keep his yap shut our lives will be a whole lot easier. So tell me what you want, and unless you would like an extra months worth of clinic hours dumped on your schedule I suggest you think about what you're going to say very carefully."
"Dr. Cuddy..." Cameron began, chewing her lower lip as she measured each word. "She's who you were talking about a few weeks ago when we had that...argument. When you said you were in love with someone else."
The older doctor answered with a short and deliberate "Yes."
"I thought you were lying, about being in love with someone I mean," she confessed. Suddenly nervous, Cameron fumbled with her white labcoat. "I thought you were saying that to shut me up."
"Then you saw my bike."
"And I heard Foreman and Chase talk about seeing it too. But still, I wanted to hear it from the horse's mouth. You told them so I didn't think you'd mind..."
House tilted his head. "I don't. So you've heard it now. Are you happy?"
"No."
"I answer your questions but you're never happy with answers. You're very hard to please, Dr. Cameron."
"So are you," she shot back.
"My, we have so much in common," he deadpanned. "It's too bad we never hooked up."
She eyed the older doctor in a stony lull.
"Shouldn't you be calling me a 'bastard' and making a dramatic exit?"
"No, not this time," she said quietly.
"That's nice to hear. You should call me something besides 'bastard'. It's getting a little redundant."
"You really love her." Cameron wasn't moving until she heard his answer.
"Yes I do," House told her without blinking. "There's a few things Dr. Cuddy understands that you don't. Cuddy has known me for a long time. She wasn't wearing blinders when she got involved and was able to accept me, really accept me with all my scars, flaws, and excess baggage without getting in over her head. That's not you. When it comes to me the glass isn't half full. You just can't seem to take off your rose-colored glasses and see that I'm not your pet project."
"You're wrong." Her voice was almost a whisper. "You're wrong, Dr. House."
"I very well may be, Dr. Cameron, but right now I can safely say you don't have a snowballs chance in hell of proving it."
