KA: Wow...I've been lazy.
Sasuke: Yeah...START UPDATING STUPID! ( Picks up a bat )
KA: Leave me alone!
Sasuke: RAWR!
KA: EEP! Well, uh, on with the chapter! ( Runs away froman angry Sasuke )
Disclaimer: There may be slight pedophilism in here. But do not fear, fair reviewers! PEDOPHILISM SHALL BE SUPPRESSED! ( Shakes fist in the air )
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Naruto finally woke up after his little 'faint' when he saw Britney disappear a few hours earlier. He shook his head groggily as he slowly stood up. "Ugh, how long was I out?" Naruto asked himself.
It was obvious that it was 5:15 in the morning, but Naruto didn't really care. He had no loving parents to go home to. Sighing sadly, Naruto put his arms behind his head and started heading back to his apartment.
I could use with cup of warm ramen right now, thought Naruto.
Mmmmm...Ramen...
Lost in his ramen-filled fantasy world, Naruto walked on, oblivious to anything around him. He was daydreaming about himself submerged in a bathtub full of ramen noodles until-
Oof!
Naruto bumped into someone and fell back onto the ground. Rubbing his sore bottom, Naruto looked up and cried out," Ouch! That hurt you jerk..."
He looked up to see a very muscle-bound man towering over him. He was scary. The man carried a twisted smile as he said," Well, well, well...What's a cute little boy like you doin' in a place like this...?"
Naruto gave a cry of outrage and jumped immediately to his feet while pulling out a kunai with his left hand. This triggered the man to laugh very loudly, finding this amusing.
Narrowing his eyes angrily, Naruto yelled," What's so funny!" Wiping a tear from his eye, the man chuckled as he said, " I don't for time for this crap kid, where is Sen?"
"Who?" Naruto asked confusedly.
The smile completely disappeared from the man's face as he hissed between his teeth," Don't lie to me you fuckin' brat! I've been followin' that bitch since I was given this assignment! I have to screw somethin'!"
Naruto found himself suddenly picked up by his throat and thrown against the wall. The man's ugly mouth hovered near Naruto's ear as he said," If I don't fuck somethin' soon, I swear I'll-"
"Why don't you use your hand then!" Naruto suddenly kicked him where the sun doesn't shine. The man cried out in pain and fell over. Naruto tried to leap over him and run, but the man grabbed his leg and threw him over.
Impossible, Naruto thought, No guy can survive a kick to the balls and suddenly revive a second later! He's not human!
Naruto found himself flipped over and face-to-face with an ugly sneer from the man," Oh well," he said," Nymphedellia wouldn't care if I screwed a couple of boys in the process..."
"Ah, I wouldn't touch him if I were you."
The man leapt off of Naruto as he cried out," Who's there!" "You know who I am...And I know what you are." Naruto followed the sound of the woman's voice and saw a figure on top of a building.
The woman flashed a smile at Naruto as she said," You okay kid?" Before Naruto had a chance to reply, the man yelled," Who the hell are you!"
The woman jumped from the roof and landed on the ground in a cat-like stance. She slowly stood up and put her hands on the hilts of the twin short swords she was carrying. She shot a hateful glare at the man before saying," I am Sen, that 'bitch' you wanted to 'screw over', you sick fuck."
The man narrowed his narrowed his eyes as he said," So, your the famous Mary-Sue killer. Been a while since you killed a Gary-Stu ain't it?" He looked at her for the second time and muttered, " You ain't half bad either." He licked his lips hungrily.
Sen ignored this comment and said," Go screw yourself. A little far away from your forest aren't you?" The Gary-Stu snorted as he said," Yeah, but your all alone, without your honey to protect you."
He paused a moment before saying," What was his name? Lisei?" Hot fury flashed in Sen's grey eyes before returning to their former coldness.
Sen slowly drew her swords out of their sheathes as she said coldly," Enough talk. My swords want blood." The Gary-Stu suddenly rushed at her with the full force of a speeding train.
But Sen moved out of the way just in time as he crashed into the wall that was behind her. Sen laughed as she said," Ha! Is that it? You're all talk and no show!"
The Gary-Stu shook the debris out of his hair before lauching himself at her with a roar. "Watch out!" cried out Naruto. Right before contact, Sen thrust out her swords into the approaching mass of muscle.
Foolish Gary-Stu, he landed right onto the swords. He coughed out blood and made a pathetic attempt to grab Sen's throat, but it was futile.
A shower of blood fell onto Sen as she lifted the Gary-Stu into air and threw him off her swords. He fell into a bloody mess as he slump against the wall and crumpled into dust.
Naruto lay there with his mouth agape as he saw the woman approach him. She had put her swords away in their sheathes and pulled out a peice of to wipe off the blood off her face.
Sen held out a bloodied hand as she said," Sorry for the interruption, I'm Sen. I'm looking for a friend of yours, would you care to help me?"
Naruto took her bloodied hand and lifted himself up before saying," Sure, I'm Uzumaki Naruto."
-----------------------------------------------------------------
30 minutes later...
"So, that's the story huh?"
Sen had just finished telling Naruto how she had come across Uchiha Sasuke and had explained what a Mary-Sue and a Gary-Stu was. ( Because I am too lazy to type, I don't feel like putting the conversation here. --; )
They had spent the last 30 mintues looking for Sasuke. Even though Sen acted friendly towards Naruto, he can't help but think she was some kind of vampire.
After all, she did dress in a kind of dark attire. She may have gotten the blood off her body with the wash cloth, but she licked the blood her face and hands.
She said to drink a Gary-Stu's blood was 'Good Luck'. Tch, yeah sure...A couple seconds pass before they hear a loud shout of pain. Then, Sasuke suddenly fell out of an alleyway clutching his side in pain.
"Sasuke!"
Naruto immediately ran to Sasuke's side and helped him up. Sen shook her head as she said exasperately," I told you Sasuke. I told you specifically NOT to wash the mud off you."
As Naruto helped Sasuke up, he coughed up a small amount of blood before saying," I don't take orders from vampire chicks." Sen's eyebrow twitched as she said," Kid, do you want to my second kill for this evening?"
Ignoring this entire conversation, Naruto said," Sasuke you look like crap. What the hell happened?" Sen muttered," As I've told you, Sasuke had a little run-in with a Mary-Sue. Now he's sick as hell."
"Wait a minute," said Naruto, stopping in his tracks," Does this Mary-Sue by any chance have purple eyes, blond hair, balloon-sized breasts, and talks with a lot of, 'Lykes'? "
"Why yes," said Sen," She goes by the alias, 'Britney'." Naruto suddenly cried out in recognition and said," I saw her today! She tried to pick a fight with Sakura! And then-"
"Whoa, whoa, kid," said Sen, "Your loud talking is making my ears bleed." "Don't even try Sen," said a smirking Sasuke," He's a lost cause. Naruto has always been talking loudly ever since he was born."
"Teme..."
Sasuke shrugged as he turned his back while ignoring the imaginary knives and daggers thrown at his head by a certain blond. Sen turned to look at Naruto and said," Perhaps you should tell us when we reach your apartment."
As the trio walked passed Sakura's house, they jumped when they heard a loud crash coming from Sakura's bedroom window. Naruto ran ahead of the two and ran to where he heard the crash. He was presented with a bloody site...
---------------------------------------------------------------
Kakashi: Ooh, a cliffie!
KA: I know. ( Sighs happily )
Sasuke: ( Death Glare ) You.
KA: ( Points to self ) Me?
Sasuke: DIE. ( Takes out machete )
KA: Oops. ( Runs for the hills )
Kakashi: Read and review. Now if you can excuse me, I have to separate these two...( Takes out mace and chases Sasuke )
