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Chapter 3
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It was a normal busy day. The activities at the Jedi Academy were taking place in the different assigned areas according to schedule. Luke and Mara were alone in one of the small classrooms in the south building, where the activity was lower, making the atmosphere particularly quiet in the area; the reason why Luke preferred to teach his lessons in this section of the Academy.
The last several weeks of training had gone smoothly, both concentrating on what they were doing. Much was at stake for any of them spoiling things up at the last minute. Luke gave his whole attention to teaching and Mara did so on her learning. They spent their days going through different exercises and Jedi techniques, Luke instructed Mara on new routines and helped her to improve the ones she already knew. In between lessons they had lunch with the other teachers at the Academy, since Luke wanted her to have all the information and feedback about what was going on in the training sessions of other padawans and in the Praexeum as a whole; they ate supper at Luke's quarters to continue her lessons and discuss the day events. The long days finished with the execution of relaxation techniques and a well-deserved rest. Mara had become stronger, physically and mentally. She had a busy schedule, but after all, Mara's instruction was an intensive course and it should be as exhaustive as it could get.
For Luke these days hadn't been that bad; after all, he was a man capable of getting a hold of himself. Now he realized that he felt content of having Mara this way, compared to not having her at all. He enjoyed having his friend close, and as a padawan she was strong in the Force, intelligent and more than capable; her training demanded the best of him, and he liked it. Luke felt proud of his padawan. What a powerful Jedi she was going to be. He knew his enjoyment wouldn't last, once the training was completed she would leave. Maybe it was better this way. All he could give her was his help to make her become a Jedi and nothing more -not sure she wanted more, anyways.
For Mara the past days had been intense, as rigorous as she could remember when training under imperial tutelage. Skywalker was good, and a very demanding Master. She liked challenges, so this was interesting. He was the most powerful Force user she had ever seen, so powerful it was scary at times –not that she would ever let it show. Being so close to Palpatine most of her life, and seeing what Vader had been capable of, she didn't like to think what could become of Skywalker –or of the entire galaxy if he once decided to give in to the dark side. She was glad that Skywalker was a good man, a farm boy at heart after all.
Today's training had consisted of a morning lesson of object levitating, combined with different exercises where she had to push, grip and hold objects using the Force. Mara had started practicing the levitation of objects under Luke's tutelage back in Wayland. Back then she had reluctantly accepted his training, but at the time they needed everything they could get their hands on, given their imminent confrontation with the mad clone of Jorus C'baoth. She had kept practicing it on her own over the past few years, and she was quite good at it. As for the other abilities, well pushing was easy, but gripping… that was a different story.
Luke watched attentively as Mara settled down a couple of weights softly on the ground and noticed the strain on her face. Maybe it was time to move to something else.
"O.K. Mara, I think we had enough of this." He said to her "Time for a sparring session."
"Fine with me," Mara answered. She felt glad for the change; a little physical action was always welcomed. She had never been afraid of being physical. That was a core aspect of her imperial training. While working for the Empire she had had to be as deathly and as strong as any imperial stormtrooper or royal guardsman. Never fragile as an Alderaanian princess… even if no one would mistake Leia Organa for a fragile woman.
They headed to the Main Gym and took the far section –some other lessons where underway on the other sections.
They both walked to the center, stood one in front of the other. Luke saluted, his lightsaber hanging from his belt. Mara did likewise and waited for her master's instructions.
"Today we're not using lightsabers" Luke instructed "We'll practice free hand combat…" Mara smiled with satisfaction, free hand combat, one of her areas of expertise. "…and we're going to apply what we were just practicing this morning." Mara's smile faded.
"You want me to lift you and push you around with my mind?" She asked.
"Something like that…" Luke smiled and challenging her he added "…if you can."
This was going to be interesting, working with objects was one thing, but trying to handle the weight of a human body sounded kind of tricky. She was familiar with Luke's use of the Force to do such things, but to do it herself… she pictured the idea in her mind and gave him a wicked smile. She'll join in the fun, at Skywalker's expense.
"Remember those Force blocking techniques I taught you a few days ago?" Luke asked her. She nodded. "Well, you can apply those here to block my own Force attacks."
Mara prepared herself, "Your call Farmboy."
They started their match. Mara was an expert at free hand combat, but Luke was pretty good himself and with the Force as his ally he could anticipate his opponent's attacks with ease. They threw blows and blocks at an amazing speed. Mara was surprised of herself, at how her speed had increased now that she was more connected to the Force. They finished the first sequence and circled around facing each other.
"Not bad for a farm boy."
"Thanks Jade."
Mara threw a right punch to Luke's face without the intention of connecting and made him give one step back, while distracting him she turned on herself and aimed a powerful back kick right to his chest. Luke was fast enough to foresee the diversion and caught Mara's left foot with his hands right before it connected with his chest and held it there.
"Getting nasty now?" Luke teased.
"You don't even have an idea of how nasty I can get." She broke her boot loose from his hands and returned to a guarded position.
They threw some more punches and kicks, blocking each other's blows. No harm done. Now it was time for a little use of Force.
Using the Force Mara tried to lift and push Luke backwards only to find him blocking her attack with his equivalent use of the Force. He didn't move one inch.
"Good Jade" Luke praised her "Just next time don't let me know in advance what you're doing."
'In advance?' Mara felt annoyed. She tried more Force maneuvers but found every one of them counter attacked by Luke's equivalent. At least she was also blocking his attempts to use those same Force techniques on her.
"Look for the gap, Mara." Luke instructed her.
As the match unraveled it had drawn the attention of the students that were practicing their own lessons in the Gym area. Not every day they got the chance to see Jedi Master Skywalker in action, so the teachers discretely let them watch in awe.
The match was impressive and developing incredibly fast, both contenders were top of the line at combat skills. Mara started to get more and more annoyed of Luke's anticipation of her every move, every time she tried to use the Force to lift, hold, push or grab him. Luke wasn't using the later on her at this point and this made her feel like he was just being soft and condescending, and she hated it. She remembered something about not getting angry while tapping on the Force… Well, she was not angry, she just wanted to get Skywalker, and she was going to outsmart him. In one sudden movement she ignited her lightsaber forcing Luke to do the same.
"I think I said no lightsabers." Luke mentioned blocking one of her blows.
"You want to see my improvement; we might as well use everything at hand."
Sparks were throwing out at every lightsaber contact. He was offsetting every maneuver she tried to snarl him in, but she still had a few tricks to show him. In one fast move, instead of blocking, Mara ducked under one of Luke's blows and made a quick sweep with her leg hitting Luke on his ankles and making him fall. He rolled back and quickly stood up while Mara charged at him. Suddenly Luke caught her in a force-hold making her stop abruptly, holding her a couple of steps away from him. When Mara felt Luke's force-hold on her, by instinct she responded with a powerful push waving her hand towards him and using the Force. This time she found the gap and got it right, taking him completely off guard. Receiving the powerful wave of Force Luke went flying to the other side of the section to land on top of a group of mesh stools and tables that were stacked on that end; and stayed there, his back against the gym's floor. The match was over.
'Sithspit!' Closing down her lightsaber and clipping it to her belt, Mara ran the twenty meters that separated her from where Luke had landed. When she reached him, she kneeled beside him and called "Luke… Luke… Are you all right?" worry was in her voice.
"I like it…" Luke said. Where those stars circling before his eyes?
"What… When I beat you up like this?" She asked in confusion. Not a hint of sarcasm in her voice this time.
"No…" he laughed a bit, noticing Mara's confusion and lack of sarcasm, and then added "When you call my name." He said softly and smiled at her.
"Well, don't get used to it Skywalker." Mara said bringing back her usual self.
"What… to your beating?" Luke joked.
Mara's cheek twitched, it wasn't funny. She knew what had just happened, she had gotten away with it because she wasn't a threat to Skywalker; they were only training. In a real combat scenario no one would have ever been able to pull that one out on him. He was a Jedi Master after all.
"Can you sit up?" She asked
"I'm fine." He answered sitting up slowly "I'm just a bit dizzy." He said reaching for his lightsaber that lay on the floor next to him and clipped it to his belt. "I guess it was a long way before I landed." he finished noticing the distance. He distinguished hurried robes approaching.
"Master Skywalker! Are you all right?" Streen looked concerned.
"I'm all right Streen, thanks." Luke assured him.
"You're bleeding." Kyp noticed.
Luke took his hand to his forehead and stained it with some blood. "It's just a small cut." He said.
"You should go down to the infirmary." Another robed voice suggested.
Someone handed him a clean towel, he grabbed it and put in on the injury. It certainly was bleeding.
"It's nothing" He reassured "I've gotten worst." He turned to Mara 'Help here?'
"All right, out of the way." She said standing up and pulling Luke up with her. "My mess, I'll fix it." She offered him her shoulder and started towards the exit.
"Go back to your lessons," Luke instructed "It's nothing, I'll be all right."
Once the commotion was over teachers and students went back to work.
They didn't go to the infirmary; instead they headed to Luke's quarters. Once there, Mara was more than capable of giving him the relatively simple first aid he needed.
"Here," Mara showed him a sit "Sit Farmboy. Where do you keep your medical kit?"
"I can take care of it, Mara. You don't have to…" She gave him a warning look. "…in the fresher…. last drawer to the left." Luke gave her directions, knowing that Mara already had made up her mind about who was supposed to be the medic.
Mara left the room and came back shortly after with a small case in her hands and placed it on a table nearby.
Luke watched as Mara got everything ready and started working on his injury. He watched as she looked at him with a frown of concern. She was so beautiful, the attraction he felt towards her was unbearable; and on top of that she was intelligent, smart, strong, dependable, brave to the end of infinite…. the list could go on and on; she knew the Force and could also understand him in that way. Of course, not everything was nice and sweet about Mara –Sweet? Well, that would be an adjective she would not take kindly, he better didn't say that out loud or Mara would kill him. Yes, she had quite a temper, and knew exactly where to push his buttons, but all of this made her who she was: Mara… his Mara; and he wouldn't have wanted her any different. He let a sight out… his heart ached so much, a lot more than his head… 'I shouldn't love you…' Luke declared silently '…but I do.' He smiled sadly to himself.
He came back from wherever he was, when a sudden small surge of pain hit his brain and made him jump a little on his sit.
"Don't be such a baby!" She scolded him.
"I'm not!" He complained.
Mara glared at him. Luke sat still.
"You banged you head quite hard Jedi," Mara pointed out while cleaning the injury on his head. "Probably you'll feel dizzy for a while longer."
"You could have practiced your force-grip, you know…" Luke started "… and grab me before I landed on all that furniture."
Mara grimaced. "Yes. I guess I could have done that, couldn't I?" She stuck a small bacta patch on the injury and finished her work.
"You could have tried," Luke pointed out and then continued, "It was a very strong burst of Force, it's just a matter of learning to control it… or not, depending on the situation." This was the Master talking.
Mara bit her lip. She squatted in front of him and looking at him straight in the eye she said "Look… I know I got a bit carried away." Mara apologized "I'm sorry."
"Don't be." Luke took her hand "You have great power, Mara. The Force is strong with you." He looked into those amazingly green eyes and smiled.
She could feel that he really meant what he was saying, but why was he looking at her like that? She wondered uncomfortably. She let go and standing up started throwing everything back in the case.
"Besides…" Luke continued in amusement "…we just gave them something to talk about for the next few days. How Master Skywalker got beat up by his own padawan."
"I guess we did," Mara smiled slightly. If it had happened to her she would have been furious, but him… he was even amused by the incident.
She finished putting everything away and decided to let him rest for the day, not without him reassuring her that he was all right, that he didn't need any rest and that they should continue with their schedule. Mara was not going to give in on what she thought would be best for him, and Luke knowing better than arguing with her, decided to settle with her offer of starting very early the next day.
Mara headed down to her quarters, suddenly feeling immensely tired. Calling the day off early wasn't a bad idea after all. She thought of what had just happened... of actually being scared at the moment, thinking that she had hurt Skywalker bad. To her relief it wasn't more than a cut on his head, and probably a few bruises on his body; he was tough. She smiled. 'Why am I smiling this much to myself lately?' She really heated being this soft around Skywalker; the damned Jedi had this kind of effect on her. She was the former Emperor's Hand, now Master Trader and future Jedi Knight; she could not allow herself such weakness. Mara thought that… well she didn't really know what to think at the moment; she was very tired and planning on taking a good night of rest. Tomorrow things would come back to normal. They always did.
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oOo
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Luke was meditating when he felt a disturbance in the Force, a familiar presence approaching Yavin IV. He smiled to himself 'What is he doing here?' Heading towards the landing platform area, he realized that he wasn't feeling dizzy anymore; the few hours in meditation had helped his recovery. He got to the operations room and approached the flight controller in duty.
"Any incoming ships?" He asked, standing behind him.
"No sir, nothing has been shown for the past couple of days."
"When the ship reaches the sensors, give all the proper clearance and take it to platform twenty-four" He instructed the young flight controller, "I'll make the reception committee."
The controller gave a strange look at the Master "As you wish Master Skywalker" he answered not quite understanding. He was about to ask the Master what he was referring to when a soft beeping called his attention to the consoles "We're about to have company, sir. Coming in on the dark side of the planet," he admonished and turned to face the Jedi Master, but he wasn't there anymore. He then proceeded to monitor the arriving ship and give all the proper clearances.
Luke was already standing at the gate when the Millennium Falcon approached the landing platform and gracefully landed on the ground. Luke was glad to see his old friend. With the lives they lead, they didn't have much time to spend together. It wasn't like back in a corridor in any of the Rebel Alliance bases anymore, where they bumped into each other several times a day; and when they ran dangerous missions together, relying on each other's wit and bravery to get away from precarious situations. They both now had their individual concerns and responsibilities. Over the years they have both grown older, and wiser, but their friendship remained intact.
"Hey Kid!" Han greeted coming down the ramp.
"Hi Han!" Luke greeted back.
They hugged each other with a loud slapping on each other's back, and then walked alongside to the compound.
"Where did you leave Chewie?" Luke asked.
"The only way I was able to lose that fuzz ball was reminding him that he had promised to bring Jacen and Jaina to that Wookie festival of theirs, so I dropped them on Kashyyyk and decided to take the Falcon for a spin. You know how he gets about me going around on my own." Han explained. Pointing at Luke's forehead he added "Who gave you that?" he asked noticing the small bruise.
"Oh, it's nothing; an accident during a training session with Mara." Luke answered touching the bruise on his forehead and grimacing when doing so.
"Women are nothing but pain –your lovely sister excluded," Han said. Then something clicked in his mind "Mara?" he asked slyly and turning to Luke added "Too hot to handle?" a smirk showing on his face.
Deliberately Luke didn't take the cue, and he kept on walking. "Tonight, I'll sleep into a Jedi healing trance and it'll be gone by morning." He offered casually, wishing the uneasiness in his heart could go away that easily.
"A handy Jedi trick," Han observed "Make sure you teach that one to the kids some time, instead of the hocus-pocus side."
"I will," Luke added, amused at Han's irreverence. He was more than happy they were changing the subject. "I'm glad you're here. There's some Whyren Reserve I've been meaning to try." He finished giving his friend his own wicked smile.
"Ah, that's just the kind of receptions I like." Han answered following cue, he very well knew Luke didn't drink one drop of alcohol.
Once they reached Luke's quarters, they fixed themselves some drinks and enjoyed supper. They talked about family, the latest happenings at the Jedi Academy, Coruscant's politics -How Senator Fey'lya kept making trouble for Leia and how much Han wanted to squeeze his bothan little neck quite a few times, but Leia wouldn't allow it. Sometimes it was really hard to be married to the Chief of State. They talked about Han's latest assignments with the New Republic, and about him thinking of resigning his military commission and start living a civilian's life. And so on.
Leaving the table and sitting in the den, Luke handed a second Whyren Reserve glass to Han and sat across from him "Leia sent you, didn't she?" he plainly asked.
You didn't need to be a Jedi to notice Han's reaction to the question. She had sent him indeed.
Han braced himself "Well kid, you know how she gets when she thinks you're in trouble," he said accepting the drink from Luke's hand. Leia had been restless lately; she had sensed that something was troubling her twin. "And she also needed a break from me," he added casually "You know your sister. She can't get enough of me, but she can get enough of me." He shifted on his sit uncomfortably "And I needed a break from all that Coruscant's politics, I was going mad! Maybe that's why she sent me off in the first place. Before I killed someone."
Luke chuckled at his friend's remarks. He made a mental note of working on his shields for Leia, and then asked, "What kind of trouble did she tell you I was in?"
"She didn't say anything," Han answered "But I'd say it has something to do with that nice gash you're sporting. Or should I say the person who gave it to you?" he drawled, spearing Luke with a shrewd stare.
Luke huffed; annoyed that Han could read him so well. But he knew he could not bear to hide this anymore; he had to let it out. Telling Han could be his well needed outlet. He stood up and walked a few steps towards the window, and then turned to Han "It's Mara alright." He confirmed.
"Why I am not surprised?" Han said sitting deep in his seat, crossing his arms on his chest and letting his left ankle rest on his right knee. He raised his eyebrows at Luke, urging him to continue.
"She's here at the Academy, undertaking Jedi training. She asked to be trained by me and that's what I'm doing, but…" he stopped. Han looked at him with a suspicious look on his face. No, that wasn't right, it didn't sound right. That was not what it was. "All right, is not her… it's me." Luke finally admitted. He made a pause and turned to the window looking away and wishing the magenta colored twilight of Yavin IV could spare him of letting out his deepest secret. "I'm in love with her." He said it like in a whisper.
He turned to look at Han, there was no reaction in the older man's face "Took you this long to figure that out?" he simply said.
"Is it that obvious?" Luke asked kind of surprised and worried. 'WAS IT THAT OBVIOUS?!'
"Kid, you've been both giving off enough pheromones to rival Ylesian priests. I've never seen you so rattled for a chick, even when she was still after your hide. I'd have to be blind not to notice."
Luke let his shoulders sink in with a sigh of defeat.
"How does she feel about you?" Han persisted, knowing the kid could clam up at any minute and keep his mouth shot for ages.
"I think…. she might…" he stopped and realized it "…I don't know for sure." He shook his head, when it came to Mara everything was so confusing.
"And what are you going to do about it?" Han pressed the subject.
Luke let out a sigh "Nothing." He said flatly.
"Nothing?" Han asked incredulous "That's the spirit!" he huffed, dropping his glass on the table, unconcerned about the spilt liquor.
"Han, you know how my love life has been." Luke said in a matter of fact tone of voice, walking towards Han and sitting down across from him.
"Well, you had a big crush on your sister for a while there…" Han conceded mockingly, then docked the flying cushion going straight to his head. "Hey! You know women always like heroes, and a hero with a tortuous past… nothing can beat that!" he added amused.
"Yeah, I can just see Mara drowning in hero worship." He shot back.
"Why not? 'Luke, help me! You're my only hope! I never really meant to kill you; I was just fighting my attraction to you!" Han mimicked in a high-pitched voice, guffawing at his brother-in-law horrified expression.
"Why you… you… nerf-herder!" was Luke's retort, using his sister's favorite insult and every other cushion he could find in the room, then shook his head at his friend's amusement, letting Han know that he was being very serious. "After what has happened to all the girls that have had to do something with me, do you think I want to put Mara in a situation like that? I could not bear something bad happening to her… I don't think I could take it… not that." Luke confided his friend.
The Corellian turned serious now "I'll tell you just one thing: they weren't Mara. She knows how to take care of herself." He continued "And if you believe that everything that happens to other people who are connected to you in some way, has something to do with you…" He shook a finger at him "Then you should check your Jedi ego because not everything revolves around you, you know?" He took a sip of his drink, and then added "I ain't going to tell you what to do Kid, but…."
"Jedi are not supposed to have that kind of attachments." Luke interrupted.
Han leaned forward "Yeah right, this coming from the guy who stood up that little green gnome of yours and ran to help his friends. If you're telling me you cannot have friends either, I swear I'm gonna hit you. Hard." Han scolded his friend. "If I didn't know you better, I would say that you're just trying to hide in a hole like a Tatooine womp rat."
Luke gave him a weary look.
"Listen, I know you're as headstrong as your sister, or worst; but for once listen to me and leave your head out of this." He continued "I ain't any good at this type of deep conversation, you know me; but I can tell you this: you think that if I'd been thinking all these years I would have ended up where I'm now? I'd probably be death!" he made a concerned face, "But I'm here, and I wouldn't have it any other way," he grinned. "Look, I'm not the best at advice, but just leave thinking out of this. Thinking is bad." He finished with a wink.
Luke smiled weakly and didn't say anything, just sat there wishing he could just see things the way his friend could. "She hasn't given me any reason to start anything anyways." He finally said defensively
"Hasn't she?" Han asked incredulous "Maybe you're not paying attention, Luke head-over-the-clouds Skywalker." He drawled, putting his empty glass on the caf-table in front of him. "Do whatever you want to do." Han said after his friend's lack of response. "I'm your friend and it's just my job to tell you when you're screwing up."
'Now, this is reassuring.' Luke thought.
Han felt good with himself now, Leia should be proud of him.
The older man slapped his friend on the shoulder "Time to hit the bunk Kid," Han said "I don't know about you, but I'm not the same guy I used to be. I need my rest." Luke chuckled at his friend's remark.
Han stood up and headed to the guests' bed chamber door in Luke's quarters. He stopped at the doorway and then added "I'm just thinking that… the girl must have gone through hell all of her life, you know. I don't think growing up with Palpatine was a blast," he made a pause and then continued "Don't you think she deserves a bit of heaven? Leia thinks you could give her that." He shrugged "We'll that's just an old pirate's thought. Good nite Kid!"
Luke called after his friend, "Please don't tell Leia anything of this," he asked, "I'll tell her myself."
"Don't worry about it. I'm sealed as a durasteel safe." He turned to Luke "What should I tell her then?" If he knew his wife, she wasn't going to settle with a lame he didn't say anything to me, or I could not get anything out from that kid!
"Tell her I'm all right and that I'll talk to her as soon as I figure things out." Luke suggested not wanting to lie to his sister or having Han lie for him.
"Fair enough. Just remember: don't think and act!" The Corellian nodded and left the room.
Long after Han left Luke found himself looking out the window, holding a mug of very cold chocolate in his hands. It was dark outside, he noticed; he'd been standing there for quite a while and he felt stiff for the lack of movement, his mind and heart rumbling with uncertainty. Should he listen and acknowledge his wants and needs? He was human after all, and his heart ached as any other human heart; but not every human had either his abilities or his legacy. He was a Jedi Master, the first of the new, and he had responsibilities.
Why didn't the Jedi of the Old Order allow relationships, attachments? Did attachments lead to the dark side? Still he wasn't sure of what the Old Jedi Order allowed or not, he hadn't found any records that held such information. What did his heart tell him? His heart… was a Jedi even allowed to listen to his heart? He had followed it that one time… and nearly led to disaster. Never in his life had he felt his doubts so keenly. He felt weary, weary of this burden…. this fear of failing… of falling to the dark side… He touched it once already, being enslaved by Palpatine's clone… what if next time Leia wasn't there to bring him back? He felt afraid of himself, of what his deeply caring for Mara would bring down on her… on him.
'Fear leads to the dark side.' He could hear Yoda's warning in his head.
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oOo
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The morning air was filled with a mild rainy scent; it chilled Luke's skin when it went through his clothing. The Millennium Falcon blending in against the grey background.
"Well, Kid. I should get going." Han announced after doing all the pre-flight checks. "Take care of yourself."
"I will." Luke nodded. "Clear skies. And may the Force be with you."
Han walked towards the ship and turning back to Luke made a small wave with his hand.
"Thanks for coming" Luke called after his friend.
"Any time." The Corellian wet up the ramp and shortly after the ship soared into the sky.
Luke stood there, looking up to the heavens, until he couldn't feel his friend's presence any longer. He then headed back to the Academy; there was work to get done.
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