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Chapter 7

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The corridors of the academy were already busy with teachers and students making their way to their morning lessons. The population of the Praexeum was shaped by a variety of sentient beings of different gender, age and species. The Force didn't make distinctions, and every potential Jedi with enough will and commitment to pursue a life of service was always welcome to join the Order. As they moved about their business they could not help but to notice the passing figure of the beautiful, slender woman walking by. She wore her clothes well, with her perfect posture and confident walk. Her stunning beauty, sparkling red-gold hair and strong personality could not pass unnoticed. They all knew who she was, Mara Jade, the former Emperor's Hand and now current padawan of Master Skywalker. They had observed her while training and they had grown to respect her for her unquestionable Jedi skills. Still she was an enigma to all of them; there was an aura of mystery enveloping her.

Mara knew they were all discretely glancing at her; it had been happening since the very first day she arrived. She found it –to her own surprise, kind of amusing. She knew she was not the kind of person that one would miss easily –lack of self-confidence was not one of the aspects of her personality; of course, she could hide her attributes whenever she needed it -she had been and elite spy once and she excelled at going undetected, but there was no need of being undetected around here, so she let herself be. Throughout the years, her looks had worked to her advantage in numerous occasions; her targets never suspected that such a pretty thing could get so nasty, so fast. So, for her the way she looked was just another tool, one she had been able to mold and use at will. As she walked by she got looks of recognition without any attempts of a greeting; better that way. She hadn't interacted with the rest of the students much, not time to do so and no interest on her part either. Mara was everything but social, not that she didn't know how to socialize -that was a skill she had learned well in Emperor Palpatine's court, she just wasn't interested in doing small-talk or having unmeaning conversations.

She thought of Luke on her way to the Library, of how he had evaded her last night. What was he keeping from her? She felt very upset at him for doing so. Something was wrong with him. She just knew it! Why was the Farmboy hiding things? And what those things were? He'd been acting strange since the very first day she arrived. It had to be something really bad for him to be trying so hard to hide. Because she could tell that something was troubling him deeply, and for the looks of it, it certainly had to do with him and his connection to the Force. Yes, it had to be! That was why he was so reluctant to talk about it. The line between light and dark was a very fine one, maybe all those 'experiments' of his had started to go wrong and he was having a hard time trying to find his way back.

She thought back to when she first met him… then she thought about all those incredibly wild things she had seen him pull out when summoning his full command of the Force. Over the years she had witnessed how more and more powerful he had become and how incredibly fast he was able to master new skills, he was just like a living sun with the Force gravitating around him. She had talked to him about it and persuaded him about how dangerous walking in unknown regions of the Force could be; but the headstrong Farmboy would just not listen to her, always giving himself the credit that he had everything under control. He just took too many risks for her taste. He was too overconfident, and probably his excessive confidence in his ability to handle his own power had finally turned on him.

'Mmmmh… but I haven't…' Still, she had not felt the distinctive dense, wicked aura of the dark side coming from him –a characteristic of the dark side she knew all too well… so probably he was not too far into the dark, then it was not too late… or probably he was just shielding himself from her better than she expected. 'That's a happy thought.' She sarcastically told herself. What if Skywalker had finally gone over the edge? Then he needed help for sure but was just being stubbornly proud to ask for it. Well, that had to end… for the sake of the Galaxy.

Mara reached the Library and entered the private study room her and Luke had been taking for the past days. She took a sit and looked at her chrono; it was time and no sign of the Jedi. She was about to reach for her com link when she heard the mute sound of the door sliding open, she looked up to find a smiling Luke entering the room.

"Good morning," Luke greeted. He had over slept this morning, and he had been worried about getting late to their lesson; but he had made it… barely.

"Morning," a non-enthusiastic Mara greeted back.

Just as he expected, Luke thought. After what had happened last night, he already knew Mara wasn't going to be in a good mood today.

"Did you finish with your readings?" he asked in a casual tone, like if nothing was happening.

"Yes, I did." Mara answered plainly.

"Any comments?"

"No, everything is crystal clear." Mara said with a little bit of sarcasm.

"All right, we shall continue then." Luke prompted, ignoring the intention in her voice. "Last night I promised you that we would go through the lightsaber construction manuals together, so that's what we'll be doing today; after doing that, we can pick up our last topic of conversation."

"Sure, like you would like to do that." Mara muttered loud enough to make sure she could be heard.

Luke just pretended not to have heard that -of course she was referring to their last night's unfinished conversation; and for his own matter, unfinished was the way it was going to stay.

He turned the holo-projector on and started the class. Once they got going the tenseness in Mara washed away as she concentrated on her lessons. As for Luke, he never had a problem when assuming his teaching role; it just fitted him right, he was a natural.

They continued with the instruction for the most part of the day. Going through the construction techniques for the lightsaber took them all morning, but by the afternoon they had switched to some other pending topics. Not wanting to distract themselves they had a light lunch brought over as they continued.

It was late afternoon already and they still had a few more hours to go before they could call it quits. Several stacks of data cards were already on the study table, along with some ancient books. Luke called a small break, so they could rest and stretch their legs a little.

Luke paced the room while Mara observed him with interest. She leaned back on her sit, legs stretched and hands on her lap.

"Skywalker… Do you realize just how powerful you are?" Mara asked out of the blue.

Luke was taken aback by her sudden question.

Mara continued "I've been around very powerful Force users most of my life, but you really blow my mind. The things you do… and the things you don't do, but that I know you could actually do."

"What do you mean?" Luke asked her still not recovering from his surprise, joining her at the study table.

"Tell me… What would happen if you go bad some day?" She asked, testing him.

"Mara… you know I wouldn't do such thing." Luke answered a bit defensively. Why was she asking him that?

"Wouldn't you?" Mara looked carefully for any revealing sign on his features "Remember what you were doing the day I arrived at the Academy?" Luke nodded, and she continued, "You mentioned something about touching points in between light and dark. What if you go too dark in one of those experiments of yours? Would you be able to make it back?"

"Mara, I already told you I have everything under control." Luke explained. They had been through this already the very day she arrived. Why did she keep pushing it?

"Do you?" She asked pressing the subject. "Don't you think that risking yourself in that way is a little bit irresponsible on your part?"

Luke still did not understand where Mara wanted to get at. "Why are you asking me this? What's wrong?"

"I just want to make sure that you know exactly what you're getting yourself into." Mara stated.

Luke just looked back at her with a mixture of annoyance and confusion. What was she talking about?

"What are you saying Mara?"

"I'm saying that you rely too much on the Force?"

"Of course, I do." Luke answered matter-of-factly.

"That's not what I mean… I mean that you get too flashy sometimes when tapping on the Force… and that you enjoy that all powerful-Jedi-Master-show too much." She scolded him.

Luke made a frown. Was she calling him a show-off?

Mara decided to make things clearer to him, leaning forward on her sit and crossing her arms on the table she continued "You've been acting very –and I mean VERY strange lately and you've been shielding from me like you'd never done before. Then it got me thinking that maybe there is something there you really don't want me to find out, so you're being extra careful with your shields. And why would that be? Is it because that little dark part of you has awakened?" She made a pause studying his reaction. "Jedi, if you need help all you have to do is ask." She added.

"I can't believe you're telling me this…" Luke told her incredulous "Do you really believe that?"

'So, according to Mara he needed help… from what?'

"Stop evading the facts Farmboy!"

'And he was evading things...'

"If your power gets out of control… Who is going to be able to stop you?" She warned.

'Now he needed to be stopped…'

"If you're in a bad spot right now… then just stop! Stop using the Force for a while, until you find middle ground."

'And now she was telling him what to do…'

This was getting frustrating… and upsetting.

"I haven't gone dark, Mara! Because that's what you're accusing me of…" Luke countered after recovering from his shock "I've been there already some years ago thank you, and I'm not crossing that line ever again." He said raising his voice a couple of decibels "What has gotten into you that has made you believe that?"

"Well, maybe I just have enough reasons to ask for an explanation." Mara told him starting to get angry at his denial and raising her own voice a little more.

"An explanation?" Luke exclaimed indignant. Now he was the one starting to get angry.

"Farmboy, you can't deny that things are getting a bit out of hand." She told him confident of what she was saying but feeling annoyed by Skywalker's attitude.

"No, I can't deny that… because nothing is wrong!"

"I don't believe you!" She snapped back.

"Well, you're gonna have to start believing me, Mara!"

"Or what Skywalker? I am serious, the last thing the Galaxy needs is a second Emperor!"

That was it! Luke just flared up.

"What! What is it what you want Mara?" He asked her in frustration and quite yelling this time. What were her reasons to accuse him like that?

Mara rolled her eyes. Why was he still denying it? She also felt frustrated and yelled back "I just want you to realize that you're in very dangerous ground right now, Farmboy; and that you need to do something about it. The Galaxy does not need a dark-Force-user psycho going berserk destroying everything in his way."

He stared at her, not believing what he was hearing "Mara, are you afraid of me?"

"I'm just afraid of what you CAN do."

His lip twitched. Leaning towards her, he looked at her straight in the eye, his eyes hard on her.

"Do you think I don't know what I'm capable of?" He asked her with a mean edge in his voice "Of course I know what I'm capable of! It haunts me every day! I know I can twist minds, break in wills, make hearts stop and rip bodies apart… I can manipulate entire worlds… and all that with a simple thought of my mind. Of course, I KNOW what I CAN DO!" he challenged her.

They both stared at each other. Mara set her jaw but didn't say anything.

He leaned back and took a very deep breath trying to calm down, then he added "The thing is whether I would do it. Whether I would choose to do it" Luke continued lowering his voice and going beyond with his suppositions "But, if it came down to it… and considering what you already know about the reach of the dark side… Do you really think there would be someone able to stop me? Or even less likely: end me?" Luke said harshly.

She glared at him, her hands contracting into tight fists "Don't make me wish I had done that when I had the chance." Mara almost whispered coldly using a menacing tone.

Luke looked at her with immense hurt in his eyes. How could she articulate such hurtful words?

They just sat there, in silence.

Mara felt a turmoil of thoughts and emotions starting to cramp up inside and tears that started to well up in her eyes. Why did she want to cry? She never cried! No, she was not going to cry. Not in front of him.

Luke noticed the glitter in her eyes. He tried to reach out and find out what was going on, only to find she had put up barriers as thick as massassi trees. He could get past through those barriers using the Force if he wanted to… No, he would never do such thing. Not to her, not to anyone.

He broke the silence, his voice now calm.

"Mara… we're just jumping at each other over suppositions. The truth is that neither of us can know what's going to happen in the future. What I do know is that the one person capable of preventing something that terrible from happening… it's me. That's why I keep myself in check all the time… that's why I started this Jedi Order. In here we're training good Jedi to act as peace keepers and negotiators, and to keep an eye on other Jedi; to watch our backs." He reassured her.

Mara found her voice, "You and your stupid Jedi Order!" she accused him, scorn in her voice and not one single tear dropping from her eyes.

"I should remind you that you are a part of it now." Luke told her severely, feeling offended at her comment.

"Maybe I don't want to be part of it anymore!" Mara challenged.

Luke's expression hardened. "Are you telling me that you're dropping?"

"Am I a slave to this Organization?" she asked with her purest sarcasm.

"No, you're not." He answered simply, hurt in his eyes.

"Then I can leave whenever I choose to." Mara finished cynically.

"I guess you can." Luke said upset. On reflex he stood up turning his back to her.

Suddenly there was an ice-cold silence in the room. Mara reached into one of her pockets and held the gem Luke had just given her the night before. She put it on the table in front of her.

"So long…. Master."

Luke pursed his lips and closed his eyes at her mentioning of those words. Standing still, not turning around.

She stood up and left the room, leaving the jewel and a very hurt Luke behind.

He heard her leave as he felt a deep hole forming in his heart and soul. Slowly he turned around and took his sit. He leaned back and as he did, he spotted the sparkling rock lying on the table. He sat there, staring at the glittering gem. Why did Mara think he was turning to the dark side? Of course, he'd been doubtful about his own fate lately, but he was all right, no dark had taken possession of him. He needed her to believe in him. Why she didn't trust him anymore? Why was she so paranoid all of a sudden? He shook his head trying to clear his mind. He knew she was leaving for sure. Well, being away from her might do him good… having her around was so intoxicating that he couldn't think straight. Maybe it was better this way, maybe Mara being a Jedi was not meant to be… probably it had been just him clinging to the illusion. Maybe this was the will of the Force, and if this was its will then... there was nothing he could do.

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oOo

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Mara headed straight to the hangar area. She would get her ship and get out of there right in that very moment. Later she would have her things picked up by Aves or someone in one of their regular supply runs. She did not want to stay with Skywalker for one more second. If he wanted to ruin his life –and the lives of those around him, then so be it! She was just going to make sure she was as far away as possible when that happened.

She walked hurriedly towards her ship. On her way to the hangar area she ran into an unexpected presence. She cursed under her breath when spotting the figure of the woman. Tionne –the Jedi Scholar, was standing right in front of her. She was one of the head Jedi in the Academy; Luke had introduced them when she first arrived. Tionne was among the group of head Jedi they used to have lunch with regularly. The Jedi Scholar was known for her warm, kind nature; and students seemed to like her a lot and prefer her over some of the other teachers.

"Padawan Jade," Tionne greeted.

"Scholar," Mara greeted back.

"Are you heading to the hangar bay at this hour?" Tionne asked puzzled. Then she noticed the other's uneasiness. "What is it Mara?" She asked concerned.

"My training is over," Mara said trying to be polite and patient at the same time, something she wasn't feeling like doing at the very moment.

Tionne made a gesture of surprise "But I thought your training wasn't over until a few more weeks…"

"I decided to cut it short." Mara cut in briskly.

"But, you can't leave…" Tionne told her in disappointment.

"Oh, sure I can!" she said in her usual sardonic self-confidence.

Tionne could not sense anything coming from Mara, of course she knew the red-headed woman was shielding, but that intuition of her own was telling her something. Tionne was probably not as powerful as the other Jedi in the Academy, but she had refined her limited abilities in those areas where others did not pay attention, "Did you have an argument with Master Skywalker?" She asked.

Losing her characteristic coolness Mara could not hide her face of displeasure.

"So, you did." Tionne said, taking Mara's expression as an answer.

"What if I did?" Mara told her defensively, "Anyways, I've just had enough of this place… and enough of HIM!" she added unable to hide her frustration.

Tionne looked at her with understanding eyes.

'The last thing I need is this she-Jedi trying to be my friend.' Mara thought to herself. "Good bye Scholar." She nodded, and then turned the way she had intended to go in the first place and started walking.

"He loves you, you know." Tionne called after her in her soft, calm voice.

Mara stopped, and without turning she said out loud "And how in the worlds would you know that?" This woman was really a pest.

"I've noticed…" Tionne made a short pause "…and I think you love him too."

Mara felt a surge of rage going up to her face 'How can she dare! To insinuate something like that…!' She turned around to face the Scholar and letting out one of her sarcastic snorts she mocked "Yeah, right. Is playing match-maker one of those extra-curricular abilities you've developed?"

There was no change in Tionne's expression. The expression of the one who knows to be on the knowing side of things.

Mara pursed her lips. She didn't need this! Without saying a word, she turned on her heels and headed to her ship.

As she went up the ramp she was greeted by her Veeone unit. Making her way through the space craft she gave the little droid all the proper instructions to start the pre-flight checks. She reached the cockpit and let herself drop into the pilot's seat.

'How does she dare to talk to me like that?!' Mara felt outraged.

As the minutes went by Mara finally started to calm down, then she thought back on what had just happened. She had had a big fight with the Jedi… again, and she had thrown everything at his face. Then she had this little encounter with the Jedi Scholar… Why had she felt so affected by what Tionne had said for that matter? She should have just laughed her head out at her comment, not getting angry! She had been rude to Tionne too, just because the woman had spoken her mind. Why would she care about having hurt the other woman's feelings? This was unbearable! She just wanted to kick herself! And she wanted to kick herself even more because she had turned into an absolute soft-hearted-moron since she'd arrived to this place. And she just hated it! That was Skywalker's fault! When EVER before was she concerned about hurting anybody's feelings? Feelings… That was something she didn't need… Feelings only got you into trouble… She did not want to feel anything!

She sat there for a long time, looking out the cockpit's transparisteel window… Watching the sun set on Yavin IV's jungle, immersed in her reflections.

Why had she come back here in the first place? What was with her and ever thinking of becoming a Jedi? The very thing she had been taught to hate the most in the entire Galaxy. The one thing she so very well knew Palpatine had dedicated half his life to destroy. She really didn't need to master Jedi skills, he had done without them most of her life and she'd been more that capable of surviving the most dangerous situations -She had been trained for survival already. And after what she knew the damned Force could do to those who dabbled with it, why would she want to learn to use it?

The Force had done terrible things to those she had cared for… Yes, she had cared for the Emperor, he was the closest thing to a father she had ever known; and his use of the Force had twisted him so badly and had turned him into that very monster she was now afraid Skywalker would become. She had witnessed what Palpatine and Vader had done while using the power of the Force, and what the Force in return had done to them…

But Skywalker was different from the late Emperor, and from Vader –in spite of the blood lines. The Farmboy had this aura of light around him… and the goodness in his heart. Back when they met he had believed in her instead of disposing of her like the enemy of war that she had been. There was greatness to him that she hadn't seen in any other man, greatness much different from that of Palpatine… a greatness that radiated from a different place… Perhaps, he would never turn bad… Perhaps, he would overcome the rough patch he was going through… Then there was nothing to be worried about.

Then why was she so worried about him anyways?!

Why would she care for what happened to him? He could certainly take care of himself! He was a grown man and knew better, he could make his own decisions. Still… she didn't want anything bad happening to him. The thought of something going wrong with him just drove her crazy! She knew she got mad when someone tried to hurt him; she had become very protective of him. She had also trusted him with her life. Of course, he was the one person capable of making her loose her cool, but she could also forgive him almost anything. Well, they were friends after all and friends did that…

'But friends don't feel currents of electricity running up their spine when the other approaches…' She could hear a little voice telling her this in the back of her mind, '…or get lost into the others eyes when they make eye contact… neither they realize the other has a sparkling smile and a birth mark on the corner of their mouth, and a beautiful dimple on their chin…' the little voice continued '…or notice the temperature on their skin and its own nice scent… or keep smiling to themselves when they think of the other!…' on reflex she suppressed the smile she already had on her face. No, no, no, this could not be!

"O.K. Just stop it!" She told out loud to herself waving her hands in the air.

She looked at her reflection on the transparisteel window, an expression of anguish and fear on her face. Why had she really come to the Academy? It was just so hard and painful to admit… She had come because…

Because… she loved him…

Mara's heart pounded in her chest at her realization. Yes, she loved him! It just felt right! She was hopelessly in love with him! But she had never loved anyone! How could she know that it was love what she felt?

She just knew.

Mara didn't know whether to feel joyous or terrified at her realization… maybe she was feeling both. She was such a coward! Why hadn't she admitted her feelings before? She had come to the Academy because she wanted to be with him! That was the plain and simple truth. And… What about him? What did he feel for her?

Then she remembered Tionne's words. What if the Scholar was right? Right about the Jedi being in love with her too. Could that be? She thought of his protectiveness towards her, how he always managed to have time for her in spite of his busy schedule, his uneasiness when Lando was around, the many times he had put himself in danger to pull her out of scary situations, how he had spoken on her defense every time any New Republic puritan had tried to bring up her shady past… So many gestures she had thought of as tokens of chivalry or friendship; then their time together training here at his Academy… The rainbow shower, his blushing at her mentioning the beauty of his smile, the jewel he had given her, his reluctance to tell her what was wrong with him… What if he did love her and he'd just been hiding his true feelings from her? Could that explain his late strange behavior? She thought about it for a few seconds… and then it clicked.

A whisper came out of her mouth "Of course!" she realized sinking her face in her hands. This was so embarrassing! She had gotten it all wrong! How could she just have missed that? Well, the Jedi was shielding all the time and there was no way she would have been able to go past his shields… Then she thought of all the things she just had said to him… 'Oh, sithspit!' She had thought that the Farmboy's strange behavior had something to do with him getting hooked into using the dark side… and she had been accusing him about it so shamelessly just a while ago. 'Force!' He had every reason to be absolutely mad at her!

She had to fix it! She had to tell him she had made a mistake. Skywalker already knew how bad she was at dealing with feelings and affections and such… He knew she was a complete mess! So, if he really knew her –as she was sure he did, then he would understand! Yes, he would do that.

Abruptly Mara stood up from her seat. She had to go back to Skywalker; they needed to talk… now!

"Veeone… shut all systems down." Mara acknowledged the droid and headed towards the exit.

By the time she stepped out the ship it was already dark. Probably she would still find him in the Library. She walked down the ramp of the Jade's Fire with strong determination.

She was about to face the most challenging confrontation of her entire life.

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