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Chapter 8

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The large main door slid open letting into view the long, symmetric aisles that made their way through the building, accentuated by the sober lighting. She walked pass the tall data card cases that kept thousands and thousands of data cards filled with all kinds of known information and history about the Galaxy and the Jedi. While walking past the common areas she regarded some droids that were still wandering around carrying out the chore of setting everything back in place. Every student and teacher that had been around a couple of hours earlier -researching and studying, were already gone; probably back to their regular night activities and unwinding from a busy day of schooling. The place was solemnly quiet; she could hear her heart pounding in her ears. The Library was already empty, but she sensed his presence in there. Skywalker was still at the same place where she had left him.

She reached the study room, opened the door and stepped in. She found Luke leaning back on his chair with his legs up on the study table, arms crossed on his chest; looking directly at her. He had sensed her coming back for sure, Mara thought, and he looked upset –maybe she had come back too soon. Well, his mood was of no importance, they had to talk.

She stood there in front of him across the table, not knowing how to start saying what she wanted to say; setting everything straight had looked like a good idea a while ago, now she wasn't so sure. Putting her hands on her waist she looked around before setting her eyes on the Jedi. She got a hard-blue gaze in return. 'Blast it!' Swallowing her pride was the most difficult thing in the galaxy.

"I've come a long way already," she finally started "I want to finish what I began." she reluctantly admitted.

Luke, putting his legs down, straightened on his sit. "I understand," he said in a serious manner "I'll have Kyp to finish your training. He's one of my most talented Jedi; you should be all right with him." No emotion could be deciphered on his features.

Deep inside Luke was glad to see her back. Maybe Mara was meant to become a Jedi after all, but that didn't mean that he wasn't still hurt for what she had just accused him of. He was also a bit embarrassed and upset at himself for his reaction to Mara a few hours ago. He just had lost it! Where all that 'There's no anger, there's only calm' mantra had been a while ago? He was supposed to be a Jedi Master for the Force's sake! He was not supposed to snap at the slightest provocation. This thing about his feelings towards Mara was really getting to him. He certainly didn't have things under control as he had been thinking all these months; he was affected by his feelings far more from what he was willing to admit. That was the thing about Mara; he could behave in unpredictable ways when being around her. He needed to step aside and assigning Kyp to finish her training was the wisest thing he could think of at the moment. He had to put himself together and he needed to start now. Not minding Mara's presence in the room, he got himself busy gathering the data cards that laid on the study table.

Mara gritted her teeth. 'Why had this had to be this difficult?' "Listen… Luke…"

He looked up at her. Had she just called him 'Luke'? He noticed with interest. The blue gaze softened. She had gotten his full attention.

"I want YOU to complete my training?" Mara asked. "I would like that." She painfully admitted.

"So, I'm not a gone-berserk, dark-side-user psycho anymore?" Luke calmly asked her with certain hurt in his voice.

"I apologize for what I said a while ago. I didn't mean those things." She said, feeling the words hurt when they came out through her mouth.

"Actually, I think you did mean them." Luke objected "Really Mara, are you so scared and worried about me becoming the scourge of the Galaxy? That I won't be able to keep myself in check? After all we've been through together, why you don't trust me?"

"I do trust you! I just got very mad at you because I was so sure of what I believed, and you kept on denying it!" She explained "And also I just couldn't bear hearing you saying those things. I don't like you talking that way! Is just that…" She had things to say, personal things… If she only could bring herself to do it.

"So, you had everything figured out already," Luke told her with a bit of disappointed sarcasm.

"You can't deny that you have been acting strange lately." Mara defended herself.

Well, on that she was right, Luke thought. He gave a sigh; there was no point in continuing with this, he wasn't even angry anymore. The truth was that seeing Mara walking through the door had been enough to make him feel better immediately. "It's all right, Mara. I'm also sorry for the way I reacted; just… Let's forget all about it. Please, forgive me." He looked at her with a sincere apology in his eyes. "We'll continue with this in the morning." He felt very tired.

He stood up with the intention of leaving; it had been a very long day already.

"No! Wait…" Mara firmly stopped him. "…I have things to say and I need you to listen." She threatened. She had made up her mind and she needed to see it through.

Luke nodded. Slowly he sat back on his sit, not taking his eyes off her. What was this all about? He wondered.

Mara looked around not knowing how to start. "Well… You've been acting very strange lately…" She went back a few lines in their conversation "…And all I could think of was of something very wrong going on with you… You where shielding so strongly from me, it just felt so strange!" she explained, "…But I admit it was me who was wrong."

'So, she was admitting she had gotten everything wrong…' Luke thought to himself 'Interesting.'

"I guess I said all those things out of fear…" Mara confessed, conceding defeat.

Luke wondered what she was talking about and noticed that the eloquent, witty, sharp thinker Mara Jade was having a hard time speaking her mind now.

Mara found her next line "It just scares me to death to think about what would happen to you if you were to turn to the dark side." She said concerned "I saw what it did to Palpatine and Vader, and the things they did while using it. All the suffering they caused… I just don't want that to happen to you. I don't want you to share their same fate… I don't want you to suffer!" she stressed.

Luke understood his friend's concern -Him going bad was not a thought he was unfamiliar with. He had struggled with the thought many times already, a thought that had haunted him for most of his Jedi life.

Mara carefully continued, "… But I've done some thinking… and I've realized a few things. I know now that although you're very powerful in the Force, you're also the strongest person I've ever known Luke… and because of that you'll be able to hold yourself together, because you have the strength to do so. There is good in your nature. Your light is so bright, there's no darkness inside of you… Not the kind that Palpatine or Vader had. So, you're gonna be all right." She smiled weakly, feeling confident about her words and opening a bit to him.

Luke gave her a soft smile in return, feeling her confidence. "Thank you, Mara. It means a lot to me hearing you saying that." Suddenly he felt lighter, some heavy weight had just been taken off his shoulders at Mara's mentioning of her renewed trust.

She gave him a warning look. She wasn't finished yet, she still had things to say… Luke picked up the message and kept quiet.

"I just panicked I guess… and you know I never panic!" she pointed out.

Luke nodded. She was right about that; if there was someone capable of keeping calm when things went very wrong, that one was her. She continued.

"And I've also realized a few things about myself." She started fidgeting, just a little. "So, this… brings me down to what I'm really afraid of…"

Luke looked back at her with certain wonder and curiosity. Why had Mara's sense changed?

"…I'm afraid of just how much I care about you, Luke." She said simply.

He froze in his sit, not quite sure of what meaning he was supposed to give to her words; still his face didn't give away anything.

Unable to contain her nervousness –a nervousness she was trying hard to hide behind a screen of false self-confidence, Mara started pacing the room while she kept talking. Words coming out a little bit fast from her mouth.

"You're the only sentient being in the Galaxy who really knows me, and who actually knows things about me -about my past and all. I like it that you don't judge me, you just take me the way I am. I also like to spend time with you, you're my friend… you're very important to me." She made a short pause to catch her breath, she needed to slow down, then looked at him, "I just think of how mad I get when someone tries to touch one single hair on your head, and how it bothers me that you never give yourself a break or take care of yourself…" this last words came out of her mouth a bit angrily, "…I just can't stand the fact that you put everyone else first."

She stopped pacing and stood in front of him, struggling to phrase the next sentence. She took a deep breath.

"Luke you're the one person that can drive me mad crazy and also the one that can make me come back to my senses when I lose it completely… You're actually the only one I really listen to -although it might look like I don't." She snorted trying to ease her nerves "I also know that I fight you a lot… and over nothing most of the time. But I guess it's just my survival mechanism that gets triggered when you get too close…" She looked at him "…I'm not used to being close to anybody. I've evaded closeness my whole life!" 'Would she ever come down to it?!' She scolded herself making a mental note and then continued, "The truth is… That I'm afraid of the woman I become when you're around…"

Luke stared at her astonished, this was a side of Mara he had never seen. 'Was she telling him how much she cared about him?' Well, this was certainly an enormous breakthrough for her. He felt like he couldn't move, think or breathe.

"…and the thought of doing something stupid while I'm under the influence of your presence just terrifies me… I don't normally care for others Skywalker, but you have this effect on me… I soften when you're around… I feel so vulnerable and I just rebel against the feeling and fight it back!" She shook her head while saying it and calmed herself down; she needed to get to the point. Her voice softened as she continued "I always wondered why I felt this strong obligation towards you… now I know is not obligation what keeps me coming back… it's…"

She braced herself "…it's that I've fallen for you." She finished giving him a hopeful look… a look that also had the tint of the weariness she felt.

She had just lost and won a battle with herself.

Luke said nothing; he was in some sort of shock. He noticed he had been holding his breath for the last few seconds and started breathing back again. He had never heard Mara talking like this, it was something so new to him and probably it was also new to her. Sensing Mara's struggle he looked at her in amazement as she stood there in front of him, as beautiful as she had never been. Could Mara Jade -the former Emperor's Hand, ever look helpless? She did now.

Mara waited for his reaction, she could not detect one thing coming from him. Had she said what she intended to say? Probably she hadn't since he didn't look like he had gotten the message. Maybe she should try it some other way… Before she did or say anything, the Jedi stood up and decisively walked towards her. Mara readied herself for a well-deserved lecture.

But Luke didn't say anything. Reaching out he cupped her face in his hands and looked at her with an unspoken 'I love you' in his eyes… And then kissed her passionately.

It was a mind-blowing kiss that took her breath away. For Mara the whole Universe stopped, she lost her sense of time and space. A wave of emotions went right through her, emotions that irradiated from his very core. The touch of his lips on hers was the sweetest thing she had ever experienced, so warm and tender; she never thought he could also be this seductive. The Jedi was full of contradictions. She felt she had never wanted a man this much before! She just wanted to hold him tight and be lost into his embrace forever.

Luke kissed her with all the emotion he was capable of, with all the joy his heart was experiencing at that very moment. She loved him! Mara loved him! His heart was singing it over and over again! She hadn't actually said it, but he could feel it. This incredibly amazing woman was in love with him, just as much as he was head over heels for her. He let go slowly and looked for a reaction in Mara's eyes while running his fingertips on her beautiful face, her eyes still closed.

Slowly Mara opened her eyes and looking back at him she smiled. Impulsively she grabbed him by the collar of his tunic and pulled him towards her kissing him back with a passion of her own, giving him a deep passionate kiss with the clear signature of her intense and complex personality. She pushed him back and trapped him against a data card case nearby, pressing her body against his. Luke responded her kiss in a similar way, wrapping her in his arms and holding her tight against his own body. It just felt incredibly good to finally release years of sexual tension, it was… liberating!

He deepened his kisses as he felt desire taking hold of him. This time he just let himself be driven by his own held-back-for-too-long feelings, letting them flow free without any restrain; he wanted this woman and he wanted her now. He could feel Mara's desire in every kiss; he could feel her reacting at his every touch, her response at every feeling.

Their mouths came apart, staying close from each other's, both breathing hard and smiling.

"Let's get out of here." He invited her in a low voice.

Mara nodded with mischief on her smile.

Taking her by the hand Luke leaded her through the corridors of the Academy heading to his quarters. When they reached his door he hurriedly hit the door panel. Right after crossing the doorway he softly pulled her towards him and kissed her again, while the door silently closed behind them. There was so much lost time to catch up with, so many kisses and touches that had waited so long to be given away… so many emotions to be felt. Feeling… that was something they had kept themselves from doing all these years; feelings towards each other that hadn't been acknowledged. They were realizing all of this now, and as they did so, they felt all their worries and fears slipping away. The connection they shared through the Force felt stronger than ever.

Lightsabers were unclipped, utility belts were unfastened, zippers and buttons undone as they headed towards the bed chamber, leaving a trail of clothing behind; while passionate kissing and caressing was underway. They reached the bed chamber and let themselves fall on the bed, continuing with their ritual of pleasure giving and taking.

He delighted himself with the touch of her sinuous forms… her skin was so soft, her scent so sweet, her mouth so inviting… and this was her, the woman he loved. He wanted to give her everything, his whole life, his entire being. He belonged with her, he knew that now.

She never expected that this much passion laid underneath all that Jedi collectiveness and she was glad to be proven wrong once more. The feel of his strong body… the warmth of his skin against hers just made her want to never let go; she wanted to kiss every single spot on his anatomy. He was such a beautiful man, in every possible way; and a very manly one too… she though with certain wicked satisfaction. He was so sweet and passionate at the same time; being already tainted by the hardships of life, he still kept himself so incredibly innocent. Yes, there was some contradiction in this extraordinary man; and she loved him for that. She loved him more than anything.

He paused for a moment and looked into her eyes, playing with her hair in his hands. He had wanted this for so long… having her in his arms was the greatest gift life could have ever granted him. He lost himself into those beautiful emerald eyes letting his shields drop completely, delivering every single feeling and emotion that laid deep down his heart and soul. Mara's eyes filled with tears of uncontrolled happiness as she let him know her own deep secrets, his amazingly blue eyes sparkled with the purest joy.

They kissed deeply, losing themselves into the strings of passion and desire.

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