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Chapter 11

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The place was absolutely quiet. The sharp sound of dripping water echoed in the stone walls. The damp air carried the mossy scent of a place that had been undisturbed for years.

As Mara walked deeper into the tunnel, she noticed the jungle had already claimed the place. Crooked roots had forced their way through stones, while ferns and lichens completed the picture of an inside kind of garden. Several minutes had passed and nothing seemed to be happening.

There was a flicker in her sense and she turned towards a small opening on one of the far walls. The Force was telling her to go in there. She approached the small opening and squeezed herself through it; there was just enough space for her to make it.

She stepped into a huge chamber. It was darker inside and her eyes took a while to adjust to the dim light. The walls in the new room were dark and smooth, with a metallic matte finish. A high ceiling stretched out over her head, housing a two-level place; several control consoles where arranged every few meters and straight ahead a large metal stairway awaited her. In the far end, there was a large two story high window where the deepness of space and billions of stars were shown.

A certain familiarity struck her senses, the place looked like… a shiver went through her spine when she suddenly recognized the chamber she was in… the Emperor's Throne Room.

This was not possible! The only two places where she had seen this chamber before were no more… the Imperial Palace was now under the administration of the New Republic… the Death Star no longer existed… What was this place then?

As strange as it was, Mara felt the compelled urge to walk farther into the chamber; an urge born out of curiosity and of something else that drew her like a night-moth to the burning fire. She walked up the stairs that led to the upper level. She reached the top and stood there in amazement, everything was exactly as she remembered.

She was running through her memories when a male voice interrupted her contemplation.

"Welcome back, Emperor's Hand." A crackled, soggy voice broke the silence to greet her.

She felt her heart stop. That voice… that was the voice of…

The throne turned around to reveal the sinister figure of Emperor Palpatine.

"My Master." She said in a whisper, a strange ache in her heart. She approached the ominous presence and kneeled before her old Master, obediently lowering her head; an action she found herself doing more out of reflex and familiarity than nothing more. Why was she doing this?

Emperor Palpatine looked down on her with blazing yellow eyes, a look that Mara felt stabbing the back of her head. Palpatine, alive? How was this possible?

She had felt him die back in Endor. She had heard about his reappearance, soon after Thrawn's defeat, how he had subjugated Skywalker that one time, then learnt about his final demise. No matter her ability to hear his call across the galaxy, she had been dismissed as a useless tool, one more clue about his unimportance to her former Master. How in the worlds had he survived? A storm of questions rumbled in her mind.

"I see you haven't forgotten the old protocol." The Emperor gestured at her with a calm, cold voice. "It's a pity I cannot say the same about your loyalties." He spit out.

"Master…" was all she managed to say. Her voice had suddenly gotten caught up in her throat, while numerous tears welled up in her eyes. Where was this deep pain coming from?

"Rise, my Hand." He ordered.

Mara did as she was told. Holding back the tears, she dared to rise her eyes to look at the Sith. The Emperor looked down at her with a wicked smile, a strange mix of satisfaction and contempt.

"I see you have managed to remain alive, and to avoid every attempt of the New Republic to prosecute you." He noted with a hint of proud recognition of the job he had done with his secret agent.

"They have no proof against me, you were always careful not to keep any record of my activities. They can do nothing." Mara stated in a calm, military style tone. It was all suddenly coming back to her, the attitude, and the patterns of behavior… everything!

"Yes… that's correct. Although I have to confess that I never expected, that in the end that precaution would benefit you in any way." He scornfully added.

"Of course," Mara concurred, "It was wiser to keep 'messy' matters hidden… in case you wanted to simply… make them disappear." She countered, with a hint of sarcasm in her voice.

The Emperor chuckled, as if he were finding some kind of amusement in Mara's words. She had always been smart and had always understood the simple principles of espionage and undercover activities, the practicality of it all. Suddenly his expression turned terribly hard.

"You failed to accomplish my last command, Hand." He harshly condemned.

"Your last command was one of personal revenge against Darth Vader. You never told me whose father he was." Mara evenly answered, keeping her voice in control.

"Would that have made a difference?" He gave a menacing pause "You never had the habit to question my own personal reasons in the assignments you carried out for me. I always thought things were perfectly clear on that matter." He threatened.

"Of course it would have!" Mara bit out. Sure enough her former Master knew that that little piece of information would have made a difference. That was the very reason why he had kept it a secret. "You just made me an instrument of your own perfect plan. It was never about the Empire, or about how the Galaxy had gone astray… It was all about you and your addiction to power. You simply used me!" She stated matter-of-factly.

"Used you? Well, well… Isn't that the game we play when we crave for power? Didn't you use everything and everybody yourself to accomplish your own 'personal' goals? Didn't you have an agenda of your own?" The Emperor demanded.

"I wasn't Vader!" She cut in, "I did everything only to please you… oblivious to your true intentions. That was all I wanted for myself, to serve you. I believed in the Empire!" Mara felt her voice break "I believed in you!" She finished with hurtful disappointment.

"Did you, now?" He cynically asked, although he wasn't really interested in her answer.

"Yes." Mara answered with all the conviction she was able to put into her words, the suffering in her soul showing in her eyes.

"Mara… Mara… my talented Mara Jade." He continued in his misanthropic tone. It hurt the way he said her name, just like if it were a curse. "I groomed you and trained you myself. I raised you as a daughter. I taught you all you know and gave you everything: power, respect, status… All for the glory of the Empire. And how did you repay me? You, the one who claimed to be a loyal and absolute servant to the Empire!"

Yes, she had been completely loyal. After the Empire's downfall, she had had a very hard time accepting the truth about her former Master, about the reaches of his rule over the Galaxy. She was so devoted to him that she had only seen what she had wanted to see. Mara knew that if she had been in the Death Star that terrible day -the day of the Emperor's confrontation with Skywalker and Darth Vader, she would have given her own life trying to protect her Emperor. If she had put herself in Luke's way, probably she would have been no more.

"I have learned many things since then. The truth to so many lies." She sadly answered.

"Truth?" Palpatine expressed, despising her knowledge "The only truth here is that you have turned on me… You're even bedding the enemy now!"

"We're not enemies, not anymore." Mara firmly declared.

"YOU BETRAYED ME!" The Emperor rose his voice, enraged.

"No, I didn't." She firmly stated. "The Empire was gone. I was left on my own with no one to turn to, not a single soul knew about me. I just did what had to be done. Then I learned everything." She finished with bitterness and hurt deeply showing in her eyes.

The Emperor paused for a moment, a moment that felt like an eternity.

"You were always very resourceful." He eyed Mara. "Then… it all comes down to survival, just how I taught you." He seemed pleased with his pupil's abilities.

As he hardly gazed at her, Mara could feel how the Emperor was able to read into the core of her heart and soul, how he was gathering information and coming to his own conclusions. Of course, he would get it all wrong, he would never understand. Her pairing with Luke had nothing to do with survival, with her wanting to stand on safe ground. She had feelings towards the young Jedi, deep feelings… and truthful ones.

"No!" she clenched her teeth, trying to resist the Sith's proving. He had no right to intrude.

"Yes. I know you think you love him. But tell me one thing Mara Jade: do you really know how to love? You know how to serve for sure, but… to love? Love is a futile thing… something the powerful don't need. And I do remember that you did want power once… to take Vader's place… Have you forgotten that?" Palpatine sneered at her "I always knew your deepest desires, Mara Jade."

"You raised me as the perfect soldier and nothing more. I was always immersed in my duty, in my obligations towards you... So back then, all I ever wanted was to accomplish the higher rank." She paused, holding the Emperor's terrible gaze. "Things are different now. I've been living like a woman of flesh and blood for the past years, and my wants have changed."

"And you want HIM?" He mocked, laughing wildly.

That terrible laughter made her shudder, and she wondered what he was going to do next.

"Foolish woman!" he barked at her "He only wants to have you subdued with false promises of redemption. Keep you dormant, out of his way. He knows what you're capable of. Skywalker with all his low Jedi tricks will not be able to turn you from what you really are."

"And what would you know about who I really am?" Mara defiantly asked.

Yes, she was a different person now. Not everybody could see it, but she knew she had changed. Luke knew it. She was not anymore that empty shell that Palpatine had trained.

"You just molded me to your liking, to be what you expected me to be. This is what I am now, not the perfect automat you created." She defended herself.

"An assassin will be always an assassin." He countered.

An assassin he just said? So that was all she was for him. Well, she might as well oblige. Yes, and she knew just exactly how to do it.

Mara started making a mental plan… Old habits die hard and she was going to make good use of them now. All right, what did she have? Lightsaber, blaster and vibroblade…

"See how I am right?" The Emperor mocked her again. "At this very moment you're studying the scenario, the possibilities." He revealed. "I know what you're thinking… That if I'm gone then nothing will stand in your way to continue living this lie you have told yourself, this false and foolish dream you want to believe in."

Mara tried to stand her ground. "You have no power over me now… you…"

She could not finish her line, with a small wave of his had the Emperor called Mara's lightsaber to his hand. Startled, she tried to keep her self-control. She knew what Palpatine was capable of… Well, she was not going down without a fight, she would find her opening…. And with the Force as her ally now she might have a chance to do some damage, if not to survive while trying.

"Power? I'll show you true power… And just how I can turn it on you!" He threatened.

The Emperor waved his hand down and then up towards Mara… The metal floor cracked and then shattered into thousand little pieces of shrapnel that flew towards her like blades.

Things unraveled in a heartbeat, Mara realized what was happening when she felt the metal pieces impacting on her, the pointy edges penetrating her flesh, cutting in deeply. The sharp pain made her groan. She covered her face with one arm to avoid being cut by the sharp projectiles.

"You're not real!" She declared with conviction, trying to ignore the pain and gathering all of her courage.

"I am not? Then why are you so dead afraid of me?" He laughed, satisfied at what he sensed coming from her.

Yes, she was scared.

Mara could feel her body shaking out of pain and fear. She had to do something if she wanted to have a fighting chance. In one swift move she went for the small blaster hidden in her sleeve… There was no way she could have reached to it on time. The Emperor won the race and unarmed her almost immediately, doing the same with the vibroblade inside her boot. Following the momentum of the disarming jerk, she fell to the ground banging hard against the floor.

"You're so predictable," He sneered at her, laughing. "Remember I was the one who trained you… The one who kept you alive."

A little disoriented by the sudden fall, Mara tried to quickly stand onto her feet. She was half way up when she felt a sharp flash in her brain. Bending down in pain, she banged against the floor once more, holding her head with both hands and groaning, feeling a stabbing pain inside her head.

As Mara fought against the increasing pain, several thoughts rushed into her mind. After all the years of running and hiding from everything and everyone, of trying to leave her past behind, of building a life for herself, it seemed like she was chained to the fate of the Empire. No matter how hard she tried to change her life, the past was always going to catch up with her… And now her Master had come back to claim her.

"You're a traitor. And you deserve a traitor's death." Palpatine sentenced.

She lay on the floor, feeling completely doomed.

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oOo

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The three men stood outside the tunnel. Almost a couple of standard hours had gone by already and Luke had kept following Mara through the Force, being careful of shielding himself completely from her, only monitoring her advance without being intrusive in any way. He could not tell exactly what was going on inside, but he could sense Mara's change of emotions… and what he had just felt coming from her…

Luke lowered his head. Setting his jaw and letting some air out, he gently stroked his lightsaber. 'I'm going in' Luke told himself in silence while taking a small step forward. 'No, I can't do that to her.' He reconsidered. A strong sense of duty and responsibility held him on the spot, stopping him from his first impulse. He was a Jedi Master, so he could not interfere.

Kyp noticed Luke's gentle stroking of his lightsaber, and then his intention to move forward. The Master's expression was collected and unworried as usual, but he could sense the uneasiness and acute pain that was stabbing the experienced Jedi at the core of his heart and soul; a feeling so intense that the Master wasn't able to shield from him completely. Even so, Kyp could also sense an unconditional trust flowing from the fair-haired Jedi, a trust in his Padawan, a trust in the Force itself. The younger man eyed Streen who was standing across from them and detected the other's subtle nod; the old man had noticed it too.

Wanting to do something Kyp approached the dark robbed Jedi. "Luke, I can go in and bring her back if you want me to." He offered.

Luke turned to his former padawan in a calm manner. "No… don't… if you do, we'll take her chance away from her." Luke warned. "Besides, going in there is not meant for you at this moment. If you do so, then Mara's fears might not be the only thing you will have to face." Luke told him, knowing that Kyp –just as any other Jedi, had his own share of unresolved issues and fears.

Kyp nodded, understanding the Master's reasoning.

Luke knew –as hard as it was for him, that this was the right thing to do, this was Mara's chance to come to terms with her deepest fears. He trusted Mara blindly and he knew she would be able to overcome whatever she was facing in there. 'You can do it, Mara.' He sent out. All too well knowing that Mara would not be able to sense his reassurance.

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oOo

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Mara lay on the ground, bent in pain by the pressure Palpatine's dark Force hold of her was causing in her head. She could hardly breathe and the wet feeling of the blood dripping from her numerous cuts made her feel her vital energy slipping away. She looked at her right arm, it was cut open and bleeding abundantly. So this was it, of all the possible death scenarios she had thought of, she never imagined that she would die by her Master's own hand. She just knew he was going to make sure it was slow and painful.

'Mara' She believed to have heard an anguish call. Had she actually heard it or had she imagined it? She wasn't sure. Maybe she just wanted to hear it…

"You're just a disposable toy… just like any of my other Hands." Palpatine sneered at her once more, knowing about her knowledge of the 'others'. "Yes, I had several of you… to carry out my will. My enemies were many, so I needed many servants. If I lost one pawn, I just simply had a replacement in line."

Mara had learned about the Emperor's many Hands years back, when Leia had met Roganda Ismaren –Palpatine's concubine and Hand. The bastard had had the nerve to make her believe she was THE HAND, the special one… When in reality he had had as many hands as any vangoshan idol.

"Do you think he'll take you seriously?" He interrupted her inner thoughts, bringing the Jedi he so much hated back into his declarations. "He'll always think of you as Empire trash… as the servant of a Sith." He added in despise. "Happiness is not meant for you, it is not meant for any follower of the Dark side."

No, Luke would never think that of her and Mara had never used the dark side. She knew Palpatine was only trying to make her trust falter. She also knew that the Sith would go after the Jedi once he was done with her. But if he was thinking that by hurting her he was going to get to him, he was absolutely wrong. The last thing she would allow the dark Master to do was to get near the Jedi again. Palpatine knew nothing about him, or herself. That son of a Sith would never put a hand on Luke again… Never! She'll make sure she had the last saying on that.

'Yes, free will.' The memory of Luke's words echoed in her mind.

And she was going to use it. Somehow Palpatine had made a mistake, forgetting everything about her utility belt and the little gadgets she carried inside. So immersed was the Emperor in his monologue of hatred that he didn't mind Mara's subtle movements. She reached into one of the pockets and held a small metallic ball in her right hand, wincing at the pain that was caused by the flexing of her fingers to hold on to it. Carefully, she put up her shields tightly, so the Emperor couldn't read her.

While she was fixing her little plan, Palpatine had kept on talking… lecturing her about her numerous mistakes.

"…all the ones you killed? Your hands are stained with innocent blood too…"

Yes, she had killed many. But she had always made sure they were not innocent…

"… if you're going to measure yourself by their standards, don't' you believe you should get punished? I can grant you your wish…"

No, she should not be punished. She had had enough punishment already…

'This must end!' She thought with resolution.

Fueled by a new sense of conviction, with a supreme effort Mara gathered to her feet, holding her badly hurt arm with her left hand; hiding the little round artifact in her blood stained other one. Panting, she stood in front of the Emperor… Challenging him. Just as she knew how to do it.

"So, you're still thinking you can overthrow me?" Palpatine's eyes blazed with fury. "You have chosen your path unwisely, Hand. After all I've done for you..."

"All you did for me was to keep me from the truth." She finally spoke. "The moment you took me from my family you stole my real life from me… And now I have the chance to live the life that I am meant to live. I owe you nothing, and I'm done with you!"

She kept her right arm close to her own body, trying not to reveal the small thermal detonator concealed in her palm. She had cared about her Master, she would have done anything for him…

"I willingly served you and now I willingly choose another path, I am a puppet to no one. My life has been granted back to me and it's my own to choose what I wish to do with it…. And I choose the way of the Jedi." She readied herself for the worst… Her last thought was for Luke.

"So be it… Jedi." Palpatine declared.

And with a flicker, the Emperor simply vanished.

It was over.

Mara stood frozen in confusion, breathing hard and feeling every muscle in her body aching with tension. Her hand was shaking, perilously holding onto the detonator's death-man's switch. She blinked, suddenly realizing what she had been just about to do… Steadying her hand with enormous effort, she set the switch off. Slowly she acknowledged that the place she was standing in was a different one. She looked down and noticed that her arm was in perfect shape, the ugly gash was gone as did the strings of blood, the shrapnel was gone from her body and her clothing was in perfect condition. The rubble, the dark metallic walls and the view of deep space were also gone… The dense vegetation was back and the place seemed as quiet and tranquil as when she had just come in.

It had only been a vision.

Mara felt as if she had just run a thousand miles. She took a few moments to recover… It had felt so real… As she calmed herself, she then began to understand what had just happened: she had confronted her own fears concerning her former Master…The burden of her past. She now realized how badly she had needed that closure.

Calling her weapons back to her hand, she got ready to leave that dreadful place.

"Time to head back, I guess." She spoke out loud, the echoing of her own voice bringing assuredness back to her. She back tracked trying to find the way out. She then thought of Luke… of how it had been for him to face the Emperor of flesh and blood with barely a couple of months training… Now she respected the Jedi Master even more.

'Mara…' She could feel Luke's mind touch.

'I'm coming out.' She sent back.

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oOo

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Luke stood by the entrance of the tunnel, making an extreme effort to cultivate his Jedi patience –a virtue he had practiced his whole Jedi years and being barely successful. He wasn't as reckless or impulsive as he used to be –if that were the case, he would have just run into the tunnel and grabbed Mara away from there. But still those features remained as a part of his character, and it seemed it was going to be like that for the rest of his life. With the years he had become wiser, and he had learned to just acknowledge his flaws, filter them and to not let them take control of him. Yes, some parts of oneself could just not be smothered and ignored, you had to mind them, or they would turn on you with time… just like what had happened to his Father.

And just now, he had experienced the dreadful desperation of being on the brink of losing the dearest thing for him. Following Mara through the Force during the whole trial, just in time he had detected Mara's last intention's and had immediately set himself to work. Focusing his full usage of the Force onto the detonator, just enough to hold on to the death man's switch in case Mara dropped the gadget.

Spotting her coming out of that tunnel was a tranquilizing sight. The Jedi Master walked towards Mara and welcomed her in his arms, holding her tight against him and feeling a rare mixture of relief and proud happiness. When feeling Luke's warm embrace, something inside Mara just crumbled… and the well held back tears started to roll down her face. She hid her face on Luke's chest, too proud to let the others see her crying. Luke realized what was going on with her and held her even tighter, sinking his face in her hair. He felt her silently cry. Those tears were cleansing drops out of her soul: tears of relief, happiness, sadness, and a mix of everything she had kept to herself for a long, long time. Luke felt honored to be allowed to first see that side of her.

As strange as it was, Mara did not feel ashamed. Allowing Luke seeing her in such state only helped her to strengthen their bond. She then realized that with him, she could allow herself any weakness.

When he let go of her, Mara was back to her usual coolness.

'Are you all right?' The question in his eyes.

'Now I am.' She nodded.

They both walked towards the other two Jedi who were waiting a few meters farther. Gesturing to her with his hand, Luke asked Mara to stay back while he approached the others.

He reached the two men, unable to hide the pride showing on his face. With a significant look, the two Jedi Masters nodded, showing their approval. Luke then turned to Mara -the other two Jedi taking place one on each of his sides.

"Step forward, Padawan." He commanded Mara in a solemn manner. She did so.

Putting his right hand on her left shoulder he pronounced.

"By the right of the Academy and by the will of the Force, I dub thee, Jedi Knight of the New Order. You are now, a wielder of the Force." A soft, proud smile showed on Luke's lips. "Take up your lightsaber, Mara Jade, Jedi Knight. And may the Force aid you and guide you in your lifetime journey."

And this was it. After years of being after her, trying to persuade her to train on the ways of the Force… it was finally accomplished.

Kyp and Streen approached Mara and congratulated her.

"Well done, Mara." Streen praised.

"It took you a long time, Mara… but you finally made it." Kyp addressed his former class-mate. "Just how it was meant to be."

They both stepped aside and started their way back to the Academy. Luke then took a few moments to hide the entrance to the tunnel back under the White Current and then followed his fellow Jedi with Mara at his side.

They walked in silence, enjoying the simplicity and the meaningfulness of the moment. Luke could sense Mara's mixed emotions: she felt happy, proud of herself, relieved… and also mournful, like if a part of her life had just stayed behind in the tunnel. He didn't say anything, giving Mara her own time to process all of her feelings, if she had something to say… she'd say it whenever she felt ready.

Mara broke the silence.

"Luke, tell me something… Back in the tunnel, if I had found myself in deep trouble… not being able to overcome the test… and of really hurting myself with that detonator… Would you have come after me?"

"Of course I would have, Mara. What kind of question is that?" He simply answered.

"Even if that meant breaking the rules?" She asked in disbelief.

Gently grabbing her by the arm he made her stop. "Even so." And then kissed her tenderly on the lips. As a matter of fact, he had broken the rules already, by the simple act of accepting his true feelings for her.

When they parted, Mara smiled with a mix of happiness, relief and selfish pleasure. Did she mean that much to him? Yes she did, was Luke's silent answer.

"I will always, always come after you, Mara." Luke vehemently told her. "Besides, it's not like a new habit of mine… it's been like that since we met, hasn't it?" Luke playfully added, trying to lighten up the conversation. She already had had enough stress for the day and he just wanted her to relax a little.

"Yeah." Mara answered, and picking up the tone she added "I guess I'm not gonna be able to get rid of you easily." She joked while resuming her walk.

"You can bet." He called and walked behind her. "Well, you also have come after me every time I have needed you… So I guess we both have a soft spot for one another. Even if you didn't want to admit it before." He stressed while joining her side.

Mara chuckled. "And now that we'll be spending more time together, those situations will increase, won't they?"

Luke nodded

"Then I guess we're gonna have to start keeping record, Farmboy." She confirmed.

"Are you challenging me, Miss Jade?" They really could not help their competitive natures.

"Haven't I always?" She turned to him with a prankish sparkle in her eyes.

Luke chuckled and gave her a broad smile.

Yes, she had always been quite a challenge… A challenge worth taking.

That night during supper Luke gave the announcement of Mara's success while completing all of the trials and by doing so achieving the rank of Jedi Knight. He had never liked pompous ceremonies and he always tried to keep things at its simplest whenever possible. Mara seemed to be glad about his casual approach, so it worked out just fine.

At the end of the meal, students and teachers approached Mara to congratulate her and wish her luck in her knighthood. She found herself surrounded by Jedi and Jedi-to-be, a sight Luke found of much amusement, knowing just how much Mara hated public demonstrations. She was doing pretty well so far.

Feeling Luke's gaze Mara leveled her sight and looked in his direction. He was just standing there, completely enjoying the scene. He looked so content and happy… She wished to see him like that for the rest of their days together. Yes, this man had changed her… saved her from living a life without meaning. She gave him a loving look.

Across the room, he smiled back.

Today Mara had overcome her ultimate fears, and in a way had come to terms with her past. She could feel new channels of the Force opening up to her, new links of awareness unfolding to her senses.

Now she was a Jedi Knight on her own right.

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