Radio: "The Naked Country. Nude and uncompromising. People scurrying around like ants, walking and taking public transport to their tall buildings, making chambers around them from their own spit. It could be any country, but it's this one. But apart from carrying food stuff that is almost ten times their size, the ant differs from the human in one important perspective...these humans have no concept for simple charity. So convince your friends, family and boss..."
In the Hokage Building, Garu, Shirai and Shizune were listening to the radio instead of doing their jobs.
"It's quite true, you know," said Shirai.
Shizune switches to another radio station. "Alright, back to work."
Radio: "Yo yo yo! You're listening to HINA FM!"
Gai walks into Naruto's office.
"I need your help, Hokage-sama."
Naruto looks up from his desk. "What is it, Gai?"
"I've sent my pilot of my new TV series to KonohaTV. They told me that they have got a guy with his own production company to handle the distribution."
Naruto was distracted, but listening. "That's good for you. What does this have to do with me?" asked Naruto.
"The guy they're sending...it's his first time here," explained Gai. "So...could you send someone to the Wave Country Port to get him while I go get myself ready? I sent my best Green suit to the dry cleaners and I need to get it."
Naruto looked at Gai and sighed. "I'll send someone...just give me the arrival time and you go do what you need to do."
"Thank you, Hokage-sama!"
"Now go, while I try to figure out who to send. Maybe Lee, since he should be done with the building's computer system by now."
As Gai leaves the room, Naruto tries to get his computer working. Seems like Lee didn't complete his mission of setting up the computer system as he claimed he could.
"Dammit, Lee. I don't think you deserve this mission that you'll definitely love. I'll send someone else."
From the writer who did the Maito Gai Fanfiction Series brings...
The Hokage Files
04: The Exchange
Disclaimers: All characters, cast, crew, ideas, blackouts and bashings belong to their respective owners. No Anime characters were brutally harmed in the writing of this fanfic.
Note: Just in case some readers do not know what a Seiyuu is, it is a Japanese Voice Actor. I used Seiyuu instead of voice actor in Chapter 3 because it would lead to mass confusion and an email explosion in my inbox.
"You did what!"
Lee was in Naruto's office.
"I had to, Lee. You still have a lot of fixing up to do. You said that you could get this system up and ready a month ago and it's still not up and ready."
Lee looked disappointed. It looks like fate has prevented him to ensure to fulfill Gai's request.
"Don't look so down, I did send someone who would be willing to do this mission. Her team is on their way there."
"You mean..."
Naruto smiled. "Yep."
Lee immediately became emotional and the background of a rising sun replaces Naruto's office. Naruto had to quickly put on a pair of sunglasses.
"My little green bird will certainly do me proud! Gai-sensei...there's no need to fear."
On the way to Wave Country, a girl wearing green leg warmers while leading her Genin team to Wave Country. This Genin team consists of the Nara Siblings, Shikami and Inoryou with their best friend, Akimichi Chohi.
"Come on, my students! If we meet up with Gai-sensei's guest quickly, we will certainly get the admiration he would give to my father!"
"But, Miyabi-sensei," said Shikami. "What if something goes wrong?"
The Jonin rubbed her chin. "Well...we will make sure nothing goes wrong."
A black-haired (with pink streaks) Genin walked into Naruto's office carrying a balloon with a face on it and a capsicum spray.
"Hokage-sama! I heard that a VIP is coming to the village, so I'm wondering if I could get a mission, since I need to do something to impress my dad."
Naruto looked up from his desk. "Really? What have you got to show me, Chi?
The Genin shows Naruto the capsicum spray. "Well, if anyone wants to attack the VIP, I could incapacitate the offender by spraying this combination of capsicum and wasabi onto his face. For example, when I use it on this balloon..."
Unfortunately, Chi wasn't looking at where the nozzle of the spray is and ended up spraying the burning mixture into his own face.
"Ahhhh! Mom! I want my mom!"
"Good idea...I'll go get her." Naruto picked up his cell phone and recorded Chi's screams. "But first, I need to record your screams for my cell phone's new ring tone. I'll want something way better than that stupid Crazy Frog."
Naruto walked into Hinata's office.
"Hinata-chan, could you advise me on how to sack Lee from his role as computer technician?"
Hinata looked at her husband. "Excuse me? You were the one who hired him. I suggested that Tenten was a much better choice."
"I know..." Naruto looks around and picks up Hinata's make up kit. "But it's just that Tenten has bigger breasts and I didn't want you to accuse me of asking for her help for the wrong reasons..." Naruto looks at the mirror in the kit and powder his face. "Not that I would be interested that at all, but I wouldn't want you to make my life unbearable." Naruto looks into the mirror and watched the scene outside Hinata's office where Garu and Shirai were just stirring a bucket of paint.
"I can think of other reasons why I want to make your life unbearable," mumbled Hinata as she does her work.
"Are those idiots going to paint or not?" Naruto mumbled to himself.
"So, you choose Lee over my cousin-in-law because you didn't want to look sexist," said Hinata.
"Yeah," Naruto looked outside. "How long did we have Lee? 6 Months?"
"No...7 months," corrected Hinata.
"Really?" Naruto finished powdering his face. "How do I look, Hinata-chan?"
Hinata smiled. "You look lovely." Hinata looked at Naruto's body.
"Have you put on weight, Naruto-kun?"
"No...I think it's just the robes," said Naruto.
Naruto walk out of the office, passing by the Genin painters, Garu and Shirai, who were watching Sakura administering eye drops into her son's eyes.
Once Naruto returned to his office, Shizune appeared at the door.
"Naruto, there's an urgent phone call from Jiraiya."
Naruto picks up the phone.
"This is Naruto..."
Sunagakure Prison
Jiraiya was standing next to the prison phone.
"Hey, Naruto! I got a problem!"
An explanation later
"So, you're think you can get me out?" asked Jiraiya
Back in Konoha, Naruto looks outside his window to see a sparrow.
'Damn you, Neji for giving Jiraiya a chance to get out with your caged bird story.'
"Yeah," said Naruto. "I'll have a word with the Blonde Liaisontrix. Her daughter was one of my Genin students. And no, I did not treat her like the way you treated your female Genin student."
Naruto puts the phone down. Shizune and Moegi were watching Naruto.
"Excellent! I want you two to see how a master negotiator works," announced Naruto as he dialed some numbers on his office phone.
On the streets of Konoha, Temari receives a phone call. "Hello?"
"Temari! It's me...Naruto."
No answer.
"Uzumaki. Your daughter was one of my Genin students."
Still no answer.
"The 6th Hokage."
Temari: "I know. What do you want?"
Naruto covers the receiver and looks at Shizune. "Let me tell you. She can be a bit of a bitch at times, you know?"
"Naruto, you forgot that you are on speaker phone," said Shizune.
"Oh shit!" Naruto randomly pressed a button on his phone. "Was that the hold button?"
ANBU Aoi (Blue) HQ
The commander of ANBU Blue, Sasuke Uchiha, received a phone call.
"Hello?"
"Hello?" Temari looked at her cell phone.
"Hello? Who the hell is this!" yelled Naruto.
Shizune shakes her head and presses the correct button on Naruto's Phone.
At ANBU Blue HQ, Sasuke's phone call was cut off.
"Strange. I've been cut off."
Naruto resumes the phone call. "Temari? Sorry to waste a bit of your time..."
Shizune and Moegi walked out of the office.
"Moegi. Could you go downstairs and get some boxes?" asked Shizune.
Back on the streets of Konoha, Temari finally gets back to Naruto.
"You already have. What is it, Naruto?"
Naruto: "Well, we have a slight problem. A certain Ero-Sennin is in Sunagakure Prison and I would like to ask for your help, as a liaison from the Sand to...arrange for a prisoner exchange."
At Shizune's desk, Lee was setting up Shizune's computer.
"Pretty soon, I'll get this thing up and running." Lee takes the plug from Shizune's computer. "I'll go find one of those power plug thingies..."
Lee runs off with the plug. After a while, Shizune's computer was pulled off the table.
"Sorry, my friends! No harm done," apologized Lee.
At that moment, Moegi returned carrying some boxes. She did not see Shizune's computer on the floor and poor Moegi trips over the computer...
Temari: "And I'll try to convince Gaara about that problem. I don't think Jiraiya heard about a new law in Suna stating that perverts spying on women's change rooms is an offence that will send you to prison. Especially when you got someone extremely drunk."
"Thank you, Temari."
Naruto looks outside his office to see Moegi being taken away by Medic-nins.
Temari: "And one more thing, Naruto. Don't ever use a speaker phone when talking to me. That's just arrogant male chauvinistic bullshit."
End of 04
Original Characters:
Miyabi Lee (Daughter of Rock Lee. Known as the 'Green Phoenix of Konoha'. She was a Genin student of Naruto before he became the Hokage. She has Lee's 'Enthusiasm' and training style of wearing weights on her legs. What she doesn't have are the fuzzy eyebrows and green bodysuit. She is the Jonin sensei of the next generation Team 10, consisting of the next generation InoShikaCho trio.)
Akimichi Chohi (Son of Choji, together with Inoryou and Shikami, they form the InoShikaCho trio of their generation. Their Jonin-sensei is Miyabi Lee and fortunately the trio's bond keeps each other from the influence Miyabi would have on them.)
Uchiha Chi (Sasuke's son. He may be popular with the girls, but his skill level as a ninja is a disgrace to the Uchiha clan and because of that, Chi admires the current Hokage.)
It was late at night and Naruto was doing paperwork (Shock and horror!). Hinata walked into Naruto's office.
"You're still doing paperwork this late? That's a first," said Hinata.
"I know. But we're a bit under for this chapter."
"By how much?"
"About 117 words," said Naruto.
"Are you sure you want readers to see you only doing paperwork for the remaining 98 words?" asked Hinata.
Naruto looked at his wife. "You got a better idea, Hinata-chan?"
Hinata sat on Naruto's desk. "Well...since we're the only ones in the building and this is your office...I thought maybe we could use this chance to...spice up our marriage."
"Really? Ok, show me."
Hinata walks to her office.
Naruto resumes his paperwork. "It's not that rabbit costume you wore for Easter, is it?" asked Naruto.
Hinata returns to Naruto's office wearing the rabbit costume, with rabbit ears and rabbit tail. "Errr...no, Naruto-kun."
Hinata runs back to her office.
Ok, the real end of 04
