Chapter 23: White Swan
Time for an attempt on a dramatic chapter! I've decided to shine some light on Miku's point of view, so I hope this sounds good.
I had the craziest dream last night.
I was in the middle of a stage, dancing ballet so intricately and beautifully. White swan feathers followed every twirl as my teal twin tails swirled along. I was the main role of the show, but I was all alone. One stray light shined down at me, but other then that, the darkness covered me like a blanket. I remember that I was shivering and shaking, forcing every move to be perfect. No one was watching, but I kept at it.
Then, I spotted him.
His blonde locks and cerulean eyes made him distinguishable.
He was my prince.
My savior.
Mine.
All mine.
He slowly wrapped his arms around me and closed in on me. My hands laced around his neck and I closed my eyes. For once, I felt warm… and secure.
The feeling soon vanished when I felt another girl step onto the stage. Was she there all along? Was the black merely hiding her existence? There was no mistaking that short blonde hair and her piercing turquoise eyes. He must have felt her walk in too, because he let go of me immediately. Her innocent smile cocked into a wicked smirk and she walked over and cupped his chin. All her moves were so smooth… she entranced him with a mere wink. My hands fell to my side as I watched him be lead away by the black swan.
My prince had fallen for the wrong girl.
I was alone again. The light above me began dimming and I couldn't believe what was happening. Everything was happening so fast. My hands were now vacant. The dark was consuming me.
I was all alone.
And then, I heard an ear-shattering scream erupt from my throat.
I shoot up from my bed and my hands start feeling around my chest, feeling around for glass. Where were the broken shards? And why isn't blood running down my hands?
Was I the one who had pierced my chest with a blade of glass?
I lift my knees up to my bed and place my head down on them to steady my breathing. What a horrid dream.
It takes a while before my breathing returns to normal, but I manage. Then, the scared little girl disappears and is replaced with a stoic expression on my face.
As always, I get ready in silence and move swiftly around my room, being careful as to not make any unnecessary noise. I apply mascara to lengthen my eyelashes and grab my eyeliner to make my eyes pop out. After all, eyes are the soul. And if I can fake it good enough, no one can see who I really am by my eyes. I set down the eyeliner and stare at the mirror. Cold eyes reflect back to me and I smile.
My spoon clinks against my bowl as I let go of it. It twirls around in the cereal for a while before it stops. I hate to waste food, but I've lost my appetite. I stand up and push in my seat then walk away from the maids.
My footsteps resound in the empty halls as I walk to the front with my glazed leather shoulder bag on my right shoulder.
"Are you leaving early, Miss Hatsune?"
"Have a good day, ma'am."
I block out the maids and butlers as my dream resurfaces in my mind. For some reason, I can't recall who the black swan was. Her moves were so spontaneous and carefree. Her turns were like fire on water- they seemed so impossible and flowed together so well. I couldn't keep my eyes off of her. And neither could my prince.
I place on a fake smile and wave at them before walking into the cold. I let out a sigh then breathe in snowflakes and continue walking out. Gray clouds are all I can see as I look up and the snow is blanketing the whole area. I shiver and pull my sweater closer to my waist.
I enter Yamaha High School with several others who are rushing in. Everyone is talking about how cold it was last night or how pretty the snow is. I just smile and say address those who are my acquaintances with a simple hello. Instantly their faces light up and I feel their eyes follow me as I walk towards the classroom. Then, two figures stumble in laughing.
"Len! Stop throwing snow at me!"
"It's just too fun, Rinny~!"
Rinny? Even I don't have a cute nickname from Len…
"You're so annoying!"
"Haha, you whine too much!"
So, the black swan was Rin. But...that makes no sense. Rin isn't an enchanting lady who charms people. She's clumsy and isn't that social. She's brutal and rough around the edges. She isn't anything special. She can't capture anyones' attention.
And yet, she has Len's.
"Come on Miku- hurry or we'll be late!" a familiar voice calls out and someone grabs my arm. Neru keeps pulling me away, but my eyes stay on Len and Rin.
Rin's POV~~~
Why hasn't Miku returned from the restroom already? It's been well over 15 minutes and I'm beginning to get suspicious. I sigh and raise my hand to ask Mrs. Megurine if I can go to the restroom. She has obviously forgotten that Miku left earlier because she decides to let me go.
"Sensei!" Teto exclaims as I grab the restroom pass and head for the door. "I have a question!"
Mrs. Megurine pales, but nonetheless, turns to Teto. "Yes?"
Just as I close the door, I hear her start throwing out random questions that have nothing to do with the subject in a rapid manner. I feel sorry for Mrs. Megurine. Teto is a difficult student to handle with. And she doesn't tend to listen to her lectures often either.
I continue walking to the restroom when I start thinking about Miku. What can she be doing in the restroom that takes over 15 minutes? Or maybe she's not even in the restroom. No, that can't be true. Although we aren't on great terms, I have to admit that Miku is a good student. She wouldn't just abandon the rules for something stupid. She is smarter than that.
But when I enter the restroom, no one is washing their hands. All the stalls are empty as far as I can see. I go around to check the other restrooms and find no one else in them either.
So Miku isn't in a restroom after all.
And then it hits me.
Len left "to the restroom" at the same time she did.
And now that I think of it, I saw him looking at his phone earlier in class. He frowned while reading a message and sighed then placed it back it in his pocket. He must have caught me staring because he turned around to me and winked at me. At that point, my eyes looked down at my work and stayed there.
Janitor's Closet~~~
Miku's POV
Len breaks the kiss and lets go of me as I take a deep breath. I place my arms around his neck and press ourselves together, wanting him to be closer. Resting my head on his shoulder, I sigh contently.
Press back against me. I finally have your attention away from her. Squeeze my hand. Make this feeling of solitude disappear. As if he can read my mind, Len lifts my chin up and I can hear him chuckle in the dark. Then, my lips are his again. He's mine again. I nip his lower lip and play with his hair in my hands. That dream was just that-a stupid dream.
"…Rin…" Len breathes out quietly.
My eyes snap open as I hear her name escape from his lips. I instantly let go and feel my lips. Did he really just say…?
"Is something wrong?" Len asks, not realizing what he just said. Or maybe he's faking it.
So…it is true. I know nothing of his taste. The proof is on his lips. I may have been the one kissing him, but she has been on his mind even when we're like this.
"…Miku?"
Speak up. Say it louder. I dare you to repeat her name again. I clench my hands as I feel a tear fall down my cheek. No, no, instead, just close your mouth. Let me take over. Just press against me and listen to my heartbeat. Stay mine. Don't think about her anymore.
I interrupt Len's question by crashing my mouth into his in an attempt to muffle his thoughts. I press my lips roughly on his and grab his shirt, clutching him tightly. Let me be the first one that comes to your mind. Make those lips move…
Put your hands back on my skin and for once, say you love me.
I'm dying just to hear those three words.
Cafeteria~~~
Normal POV
Rin and Aito are sitting at their usual table, eating alone. Luka is off with Teto, probably planning another scheme of some sorts. Rin is thinking about what happened earlier and if she was right. And on top of all those questions, she was asking herself why she was so worried about it. Just as she thinks she has come to the conclusion, Aito breaks her train of thought.
"I think I may ask her soon."
Rin stops poking her grapes and looks up at Aito.
"May ask who what?" Rin plays dumb, although she knows what he's going to say.
Aito takes a deep breath and looks around, as if being secretive. He leans in with a small smile and his breath tickles her neck, making her blush. Unfortunately, the heat around her cheeks fade and the next few words make her face pale.
"I think I've built up enough courage to actually tell Luka how I feel."
"A-are you sure?" Rin asks, looking straight ahead. He can hear her gulp loudly.
"Of course I'm sure, Rin," Aito says and leans back to reveal his red face. "I mean, she's absolutely perfect for me...
I think…I think I love her."
Rin's eyes remain vacant as Aito continues talking about Luka. Perfect...beautiful...one of a kind...Her heartbeat slows down as she feels her eyes become heavy with the water brimming the edge. They want to fall. Oh, how badly she wants the floodgates to open. She wants to give a reply in a strong voice, to make him not worry, but...
"I- I'm so happy for you," Rin says weakly, her throat betraying her. Aito smiles and places his hand over hers, making her flinch.
'Please don't touch me at a time like this...'
"Will you help me?"
'No...'
"Of course," Rin replies in a monotone voice. She ducks her head down and pulls her hand away.
"Rin, are you crying?"
She forces a laugh out of her dry throat. Things are okay. Everything is going to be okay. She waves her hand in dismissal and rubs her eyes. "I'm just so happy," she says and musters up a smile for him. "You're finally doing it, Aito."
Aito smiles and continues talking about his plan, not noticing that every word he's saying is making the stitches in her heart break free. And he doesn't know it from the fake smile on her face, but she's dying to cry.
She's dying just to hear those three words.
But directed towards her.
After School~~~
"He promised he'd be with me more often," Miku says as she grabs the pen on the side and signs her name onto the sheet.
"Well he should," Neru says, taking the pen as Miku hands it to her, "You two have been dating for almost a year now. It's confusing on why he hasn't asked you to go steady with him."
Neru signs her name just below her friend's and looks over to see Rin walking down the hall. She nudges Miku and nods over to her.
"Look, it's Rin."
Miku follows her gaze and sees Rin walking quickly. Miku's eyes turn dull as the corners of her lips sink down.
"She isn't signing up for the play, right?" Neru asks.
Miku rolls her eyes in annoyance as her cockiness takes over. "As if it matters. She'll never get a part," Miku replies when Rin's foot touches the tile closest to them. Rin's eyes meet Miku's. Rin blinks. Miku smirks.
Rin quickly turns away and continues on her way to the end of the hall.
"Whoa, what did you do to her?" Neru asks and Miku shrugs.
"Nothing."
Len's House~~~
After school
Len sighs again as he looks down at Rin's drawing.
"No, no, you're getting the proportions wrong," Len says as he inspects the body. "The legs are too short and the feet are too big. And remember not to sketch so darkly. It leaves lines that you can't erase.
"I'm sorry," she mumbles and grabs the paper. She grabs her eraser and starts erasing it quickly.
"Hey- don't erase so harshly-" Len says and tries to stop her movement with his hand. Rin flinches and pulls her hand away. Surprised by the reject of her hand, he looks at her, trying to look at her eyes but she looks away.
"I've got this."
Len dismisses it and sits down beside her. Just as he does, he hears the paper rip.
"I told you." Len sighs as Rin holds the two pieces of papers in her hand.
Several silent seconds pass by until Len notices Rin's hands shaking, clutching the two ripped pieces of paper. "Rin, is something wrong?"
Rin continues staring at the two pieces. One is bigger, but the two both have jagged edges from the tear. She places the pieces down on the ground.
"I'm tired from practicing today," Rin says and feels her right wrist. "I think I'm going home."
Len's hand shoots up as she abruptly stands up.
"Okay, now I know something's up," Len says and stands up with her. "You've barely even spoken to me today."
"I'm just tired," Rin lies and she pulls her arm away from him. "I promise."
"Does your problem have to do with Aito?"
Rin freezes in her place and she avoids his gaze. "I don't want to talk about that."
"Wow, you really need to relax," Len says and offers her a smile, but the frown stays on her face. "Come on, you can tell me while we eat some ice-cream."
"I really just want to go," Rin says, unconsciously biting her lip.
"Rin, just stay-"
"Bye Len. I'll see you tomorrow," Rin says and starts walking towards the door. Len can do nothing but watch as her figure walks out.
"Did something happen?" Oliver asks as he comes downstairs from his stairs to see Len standing motionless with his eyes glued to the door.
Rin's Room~~~
Rin's POV
I sigh again as I adjust my pajama bottoms and stare at the black and white movie playing in the television screen. I let go of the black frill and study the woman's face.
"It's alright John. I'll be by your side, watching and protecting you, like this. Always and forever."
This is why this is a movie. Things like this never happen in real life. They're too corny and cheesy. Plus, no one could be able to actually keep a promise as heavy as that.
"Those words mean nothing in this generation. If you want to see those kind of relationships then go watch a sappy movie," Len snorts.
And look at what I'm doing now.
Or maybe I'm just jealous of these actors. Maybe I just want someone to hold and call my own.
Too many things are happening to me. Everything is just so confusing and I can't make sense of it all. I've even promised to help Aito get Luka. But, am I really ready for that? If you love someone, you're going to have to go through hard pain for them. Even if you're crying in the dark, you have to be able to put up with it all. All that matters is that he is happy.
That's what I understand, but, what if I can't do that?
Not only will I break down and tell Aito that I never got over him, but I'll just be a burden over Aito's and Luka's new relationship. And I can't have him worrying about me. And even worse, what if he's so disgusted that he ignores me and we never talk again?
"I love you John."
My goodness, I cannot be bothered with this. I brushed Len away so coldly today just because I was so caught up in Aito. My one friend who's actually worried about me... Luka is busy with Kaito. Aito is busy with Luka. And I'm just here, trying to help everyone although their problems, even though I know I can't handle all of their weight on me.
Ha, typical me. Always looking after others and ignoring my own problems.
Tada~! I have no idea what I wrote in this story! It was supposed to come out all sad, but…yeah. I think I failed. Oh well~ The next chapter is all about the play and who is going to try out! And it won't be an ordinary play, thanks to Teto's big mouth.
Edit: Had to delete the reviews, since that occupies a big space on here. Sorry if that bugs anyone ^_^;
Thank you all again for reading so far into this! I cannot thank you all enough! Again, if you'd like to review, just review down there. Bye bye~!
