Naruto was in his PJs, throwing around flower petals on his bed, followed by picking up some perfume and sprayed it around the room and himself. Then, he puts a CD into the CD player. Naruto walks into the bathroom and check the mirror to see if there's anything on his face.
"Let's see what I've got. Petals and perfumes from the Yamanaka's shop. One of Neji's CDs he used during his wedding night. 'Emergency' pills from Choji. Looks like I'm ready. Hope Ero-Sennin's tips work this time..."
Naruto hears the front door opened.
"I'm in the bedroom!"
Naruto press play on the CD player and waits for his wife by lying down on his bed.
At that moment, Kakashi walked into Naruto's bedroom carrying a toolbox. "Hey, Naruto. Hinata asked me to see if the toilet needs to be fixed. Didn't think someone would be home."
"Well, you're wrong, Kakashi-sensei," said a disappointed Naruto.
"Your toilet doesn't smell too good," said Kakashi as he gets to work on the toilet. "Smells like my wedding night."
As Kakashi begins working on fixing up the toilet, Hinata walks into her bedroom.
"I can't simply be the Hokage's Wife and Head Assistant in one place at the same time, dealing with bills, office staff, those two Genins and the structural plans for your head monument." Hinata sees some flower petals around the room. "What's all this mess?"
"I was trying to create a romantic atmosphere," explained Naruto as he sat on the bed. "I even borrowed one of Neji's CDs."
The sound of a plunger trying to clear up the toilet was heard instead of the CD player.
"Works for me," said Hinata.
"Evening, Hinata!" called out Kakashi from the bathroom.
"Kakashi-sensei," Hinata greeted back.
From the writer who did the Maito Gai Fanfiction Series brings...
The Hokage Files
09: The Flashback Festival
Disclaimers: All characters, cast, crew, ideas, blackouts and bashings belong to their respective owners. No Anime characters were brutally harmed in the writing of this fanfic.
A/N: The only fanfic I know that has randomness and it still makes sense.
A/N 2: Ok, sense may be thrown out of the window in this fanfic, but I'm happy to know that this fanfic has been getting plenty of reviews.
A/N 3: This is the penultimate chapter "The Hokage Files".
A/N 4: For those who are interested in why the fanfic series has it's title, it's because it's meant to be a parody of titles like "The Princess Diaries", "The X Files" and any show/movie that starts with a "The". But it's a parody in title only.
A/N 5: Anyone spots the running jokes in this fanfic series and make a comment on it will be given the opportunity to beta-read the final chapter of the fanfic (when it's done).
A/N 6: No Author's Note necessary here.
A/N 7: Ok, 7 Author's Notes is a bit of an overkill. But if anyone sees a fanfic that has more than 7 A/Ns in a story (as long as it make sense and not a self-insert), please PM or email me the name of the fanfic and the author's pen name, regardless of the fanfic series.
Naruto: Please! Start the fanfic before one of us decides to kill the author!
Hinata and Naruto left their bedroom and went to the kitchen.
"I always wondered why you've become Hokage and still find the time to get yourself busy with other things?"
"Why do you think I delegate tasks to other people, like Konohamaru, Moegi and your sister? And not to mention, if there's a problem, I solve it. If we ran out of paperclips, order some from the office suppliers, and if Sasuke complains, threaten to demote him."
Hinata checked the fridge to find a large plate full of cinnamon rolls.
"Naruto-kun. Are these cinnamon rolls for me?"
"No," Naruto said, with the obvious hint of sarcasm. "It's for Kit! Hey, Kit! Got something for you!"
"Naruko's taken Kit with her for a mission," said Hinata. "What's the occasion?"
"It's for our anniversary," said Naruto.
Hinata looks at a calendar as she eats one of the cinnamon rolls. "Our anniversary isn't for 6 months."
"Our anniversary for not having sex for the past 6 months," explained Naruto as he sat at the kitchen table. "I did a lot of things to make this an unforgettable night, only to have it ruined by Kakashi-sensei and a blocked toilet."
"Oh, Naruto-kun." Hinata hugged her husband. "You put so much effort into doing this for me tonight. If everything tomorrow goes to plan and we have time, we will have a special night tomorrow night, deal?"
Naruto smiled.
The next day, at the Hokage Building
"If Granny Tsunade was dead and she finds out about this, she will be spinning in her grave! Miyabi! Take these thieves out of my building!"
"Yes, Naruto-sensei." Miyabi pulled Kotetsu and Izumo out of Naruto's office. Shizune walked in as the two ninjas were escorted away by the female Jonin in green.
"What just happened?" asked Shizune.
"30 years as assistants and they throw it all away by stealing my forehead protector!"
Shizune was confused. "Wa?"
"Earlier before I went for my Ramen, I left my forehead protector on my desk and those two were the last ones in my office. They denied it, but as CSI would say it, the evidence never lies."
Shizune sighed and took Naruto's forehead protector out of her Jonin vest pocket. "Ayame sent this in, saying that you left it there while you had some Ramen earlier."
Naruto realized his mistake as he takes his forehead protector back. "Oh." Naruto sees Kotetsu and Izumo carrying their stuff out. "Well, I never liked them anyway."
Neji walked into Naruto's office. "What's going on? I just saw Kotetsu and Izumo walking out, and was Izumo crying?"
Shizune points at Naruto. "Ask the 'Maelstrom of Darkness' here."
Naruto sighed. "Ok. Maybe send them a basket of fruits with an apology. That should fix up the strained employer-employee relationship."
Shizune shakes her head as she walks out of the office.
"So, what brings you here, Neji? Don't you have a wife to take care of?"
Neji closed the door. "That's exactly why I'm here. Remember that I mentioned that we were expecting twins?"
Naruto nods. "And what does this have to do with me?"
Neji was in tears. It was definitely not tears of joy. "I've just learnt that it's now quadruplets!"
"I see." Naruto got up and pat Neji in the back. "There, there. I know how it feels. At least it explains Tenten's massive mood swings."
Flashback: At Konoha Cafe...
A pregnant Tenten was at a table reading a file when Naruto arrived.
"Hey Tenten."
Tenten look up and sees Naruto. "What is it now, Naruto?"
"Oh, nothing. Just that there's no place to sit at this cafe."
Tenten sees two empty tables behind Naruto. "What do you want, Naruto? I'm hot, sweaty and one of my babies' feet is on my bladder..."
"On your bladder, eh?" Naruto picks up a jug of water and pours it into a glass...the running water was causing Tenten some uneasiness. "Excuse me for a moment."
Tenten walks off...
A minute later
Naruto was putting his head on the table, looking into Tenten's glass.
"What are you doing, Hokage-sama?" asked Tenten.
"Errr...checking for Sea Monkeys," said Naruto as he looked at Tenten's glass. "Heard that a box of them fell into the river, so, better to be safe than sorry."
End Flashback
Hinata was working in her office when Naruto walks in.
"Hinata..."
"Tenten told me about the quads," said Hinata without looking up.
"Don't you feel sorry for Neji?" asked Naruto. At that moment, Naruto turned around and slammed the door at Kotetsu and Izumo's faces, the pair returning from their short-term lay-off/sacking/break/vacation. "I mean aren't you afraid that..."
At that moment, Nagi Hyuga entered Hinata's office with a stool. "Naruto-sensei. Hinata-sama. The furniture delivery mission with my team has been completed and the client has given us a stool as a gift."
"Put it on my desk," said Naruto. "Hey, Nagi...heard that you're going to have 4 more siblings to the family."
Naruto walked to the lobby of the Hokage building and sees the painting has been superficially completed. Naruto sighed. Those two Genins will be the death of him long before his ugly mug appears on the Hokage Mountain...
Naruto returned to his office with a copy of Icha Icha Paradise as Shizune puts a stack of work on Naruto's desk. Naruto's chair is missing, so Naruto decided to take the stool on his desk and sits on it. Shizune gives a strange look at she watch Naruto sit on the stool, the gift from a client being used in the way the client would expect it to be used.
"What?"
"Got a problem with the Chunin Exams. Missing documentation on new Genins has been found, so it's been postponed indefinitely until we finish the backlogging."
"Great! I was hoping for the Chunin exams to begin this week but now...tell Konohamaru, Moegi, Udon, Kotetsu, Izumo and Hanabi that their leave has been postponed until next week."
"Usually, you seemed pleased that the Chunin Exams get postponed, but now you have an opposite reaction...why?"
Naruto looked around and whispered to Shizune. "Because I promised Gaara that if I don't get the Chunin Exams done by the end of the week, he has every right to kill me."
"You what?"
Emergency Meeting
Naruto, Hinata, Neji, Sasuke, Shizune and Shikamaru were in the meeting room.
"The Chunin exams are about to start and..."
A pager beeps and Neji checks it. "Oh no! The quads are coming out!"
"How big is she?" asked Shizune.
"6 centimeters!"
"That is short," commented Naruto.
Hinata opened a window. "Take the window. It's faster than the stairs."
"Thanks, Hinata-sama." Neji leaves the meeting room as he heads to the hospital, jumping from roof to roof...
An hour later...
Naruto was in a snack room of the Hokage building, as Naruto was about to use an oven to warm up a Cinnamon roll. He decides to make a call to Neji.
"Yo, 'Screwed Sun'...this is the Sixth. You done yet?"
In the maternity room, Tenten was screaming as Neji was on the phone.
"Well, only the head of the first baby is out and it's going to take a while," explained Neji.
"Ok, Neji. Once you're done, head back to the building. We need someone of your level to help sort out a few documents." At that moment, Naruto receives another call. "Give me a second."
Naruto puts Neji on hold and answers the call. "Yes?"
Kakashi was in a room of the Uzumaki Household.
"Yo, Naruto. I've been locked in one of the rooms in your house. You got to get me out! I accidentally broke the lock and it can only be opened from the outside..."
Naruto sighed. "So there's where you've been all day..."
Back at the hospital, Tenten's labor screams was filling the room as Neji was placed on hold.
"Won't be long, love," assured Neji as Tenten continues to push...
Tenten screamed. "I hate..."
A set of Quadruplets later...
Back in the Uzumaki household, the Uzumaki's pet fox, Kit, was sleeping on Naruto and Hinata's bed. Suddenly, with its sixth sense, the fox jumped off the bed and Naruto bursts into the room and feels his bed. Naruto sees the small fox acting innocent in the corner of Naruto's room.
"One of these days, I will catch you, Kit," said Naruto.
Naruto hears a knock on his front door, so Naruto opens it to reveal a completely drunk Neji.
"Yo, friend! It's time for a great celebration."
"Man, Neji, I've never seen you so pissed since...well, that confusing double wedding with Shikamaru, Ino, Temari and Choji..."
Superceded by a new Flashback Thingy with no specific timeline...
It was an auspicious day for a wedding. The weather's perfect and at a garden perfect for any type of wedding, Naruto was named as the guy who has the power to marry people (to each other, obviously, not to him).
The groom and best man were waiting at the front with Naruto.
"Now, all we need to wait for are the bride and bridesmaid," said Naruto.
At that moment, the bride and bridesmaid arrived at the ceremony and stood with the groom and best man.
"Ok, do you, Temari, take Shikamaru as your lawfully wedded husband…" Naruto suddenly paused. He looks at Hinata sitting in the front row of the Groom's side. "Erm…line?"
"'In sickness and in health, till death do us part'," said Hinata.
"Yeah, what she said," said Naruto.
"Of course," said Temari.
"Great." Naruto looks at the groom. "Shikamaru, do you, take Temari as your awfully wedded wife, yada yada, et cetera, et cetera."
"Awfully?" asked Kiba, who was sitting behind Gaara and Kankuro.
Naruto looks at his lines. "Oh, that was a typo," said Naruto. "But you know. Shikamaru?"
"Yes," Shikamaru lazily answered.
Temari had the urge to hit him in the head with her fan. "Ahem."
"Yeah, yeah," said Shikamaru. "I do."
"Great. Now, if there is anyone who is against this couple joining together for this lifetime commitment or however long before the divorce, please speak now or forever…"
"Wait!" At that moment, Choji runs up the aisle.
Naruto notices something strange with the scene. "Hang on, aren't you the best man, Choji, standing next to Shikamaru?" asked Naurto.
"Flaw in the continuity," explained Choji. "But it won't matter since it's a Flashback. Temari! I never got the chance to say this but if I don't say it now, I might regret it forever." Choji got onto his knees. "Temari, I love you…"
Shikamaru was shocked. "What? You never said anything about that before this!"
Choji stood up. "That's because I thought I ate too much and I developed a heart problem at the time."
"But you decide to betray me now, fatso?"
At that moment, Choji's face became red. The 'F'-word that offends him in such a way that he will kill his best friend.
The bridesmaid, Ino, steps in between the two friends. "Stop it, you two! Choji, I admire your courage, so now is the time for me to make my move." At that moment, Ino kisses Shikamaru in the lips.
"You b(beep)!" screamed Temari. Temari picks up her weapon and was about to smack Ino with her fan when Shikamaru suddenly used his Shadow Bind jutsu to hold Temari.
"Temari!" Choji was about to walk towards Shikamaru when Ino suddenly blocks Choji's path.
"If you're going to hurt my Shika-kun, then you're going to have to get through me first…"
Gaara and Kankuro would have stepped in to stop the fighting, but decided that it's best not to interfere with people in love.
Suddenly, a completely drunken Neji picked up a chair, ran down the aisle and smashed it on Shikamaru's back, disrupting Shikamaru's concentration, releasing Temari from the Shadow Bind.
"You backstabbing piece of...whatever you are!" yelled Neji. "How dare you betray Shikamaru's trust, Choji!"
"Wrong target, Hyuga!" yelled Shikamaru. 'Man...This is the worst drunk stunt by Hyuga...how troublesome.'
"Shika-kun!" Ino was distracted, giving Choji the opportunity to make his move before Ino could use her technique on him...
"Baika no Jutsu!"
Choji decided to use his Expansion Jutsu and made a jump over Ino...
"Crap!" cursed Ino as she spots Choji above her. Ino was slammed under Choji's combined excessive mass and weight.
Naruto couldn't take it anymore. "That's it! Whatever vows made is null and void! There is no wed..."
"Wait!" said Temari. She looks at Choji. "After all this fighting, I now realized how much you truly loved me. Kiss me, Choji!"
As Choji and Temari kissed, Shikamaru made a quick recovery and helped Ino up. "Ino...now that I have seen it with my own eyes, my heart now belongs to you..." Shikamaru and Ino kissed.
Naruto smiled. "Alright, I think I will allow this...just that the bride and groom are not getting married to each other."
Meanwhile, from the seats, an unusually stoic Sasuke looked at Temari's siblings on the other chairs across the aisle.
"Well, that was an interesting wedding," said Sasuke.
End new Flashback Thingy
Naruto was helping Neji into the living room...
"The result of that wedding is that Temari now has two rings, Choji has a buffet for his wedding, Ino gets her true love and Shikamaru gets what he always wanted...which I now forgot," mumbled Naruto as the drunk Neji stumbles into the kitchen. 'Come to think of it, wasn't the Flashback about how drunk Neji got during that wedding, not how the wedding happened?'
Naruto was about to watch TV when he had a strange feeling on the back of his mind. "Now why do I have the feeling that I've forgotten something."
Meanwhile, back at the Hokage Building, the oven warming up Naruto's Cinnamon Roll. Then, the Cinnamon roll has caught fire because Naruto forgot to switch off the oven before leaving to rescue Kakashi...
Hinata returns to the Uzumaki household and hugs her husband.
"So, Naruto-kun? Are you ready for some action tonight?" asked Hinata.
Naruto shakes his head and points at the kitchen, where the drunken Neji was holding a kettle.
"Hinata-sama? Want some coffee?" asked Neji.
Hinata looked at Naruto as he shrugs. "Errr...sure, Neji."
Neji takes the kettle and slams it into the microwave and pressed a button, followed by sparks flying from the microwave...
At the Hokage Building, Sakura and Ino were walking up a flight of stairs to the top floor, where Naruto's office is.
"Shikamaru's been so busy for the past few days, so it's nice of you to pay him a visit at his workplace."
"I know," said Ino. Ever since Naruto's finally getting this year's Chunin Exams started, everyone's busy getting Konoha ready."
"At least Naruto's doing his job this time," said Sakura, as she opened the door, only to see a large fire spreading from the snack room to the offices. Shikamaru and Shizune were using Fire Extinguishers to fight the fire.
"Some idiot forgot to take out his Cinnamon roll out of the oven!" explained Shikamaru.
There goes the next budget for Naruto's head on the monument…
The Next Day
Naruto was in a burnt out office making an all important phone call that will determine his life or death. Naruto makes a direct line call to the Kazekage...
In Suna, Gaara answers Naruto's call. "Oh, Naruto, I was just about to call you. You will not believe what happened yesterday..."
Gaara's Flashback
Gaara called Kankuro to his office. "Kankuro, there's news of powerful sandstorm coming this way. So, I want you to make sure you can secure everything before it hits."
"Don't worry, Gaara," said Kankuro. "I'll make sure everything will be secure before you can even crush anyone with your Sand Coffin Technique..."
A Minute Later...
The roof of the Kazakage building was ripped off by the fierce tornado within the sandstorm...
Another Minute Later
Kankuro and Gaara climbed out of a pile of sand in the office
"Ok, so maybe the sandstorm hit us before you can even crush anyone with your Sand Coffin Technique..."
Gaara sends a death glare at Kankuro, sending the message 'Keep your mouth shut or you'll be in a Sand Coffin yourself.'
End Flashback
"Yeah, so it might take us a while to clean out the massive amounts of sand from our offices and search for any lost documents during the storm," explained Gaara as he carefully maneuvers large amounts of sand out of his personal office space.
"So, could you postpone the Chunin exams for at least another week?" asked Gaara.
Final Scene: That Night
Hinata was reading in bed while Naruto walked out of the bathroom in his PJs. He walked to his side of the bed and tossed away a couple of pillows and lay next to his wife, giving her a seductive look. Hinata looked at her husband.
"Sorry, Naruto-kun. Not tonight. I am trying to finish reading the new Harry Potter book so that I can return it to Hanabi."
Naruto's expression changed from a foxy grin to a disappointed look...
End of 09
A/N 8: Ok, I lied about having 7 author's notes. Anyway, one more chapter before the finale of Series 1 of The Hokage Files, for those who do not know what penultimate means.
