A/N: I was in the mood to write some fluff. So sue me.


"It's just a love tap," House explained to his underlings as they all but dragged him under a microscope to study the smack that was turning into a bruise. He took his spot by the whiteboard as the other doctors parked themselves in the chairs. The faint scent of lemon Pledge still clung to the table

"More like a first round love TKO," Cameron smirked, nearly splitting her face wide open. "Is it a love tap because you tapped out?"

"Really." Chase shook his blonde mane in agreement . "If that's just a love tap, I'd hate to see her get truly mad at you."

"Cuddy's just marking her territory," the older doctor smirked back. "I'm now officially off limits."

"Explain 'off limits'," Cameron requested as she leaned into the table, turning her full attention to her boss.

"It means that if you even think about touching me, you're going to get shocked by the electric fence that surrounds me," House spoke to the immunologist in his best condescending teacher voice. He smiled even wider as she shot him a brief but noticeable dirty glance. "Translation: I'm with someone else, Cameron. Too bad, so sad."

"Cuddy has tied you up?" Chase asked. "Sounds like fun."

"I'm tied up on odd days," House clarified for the Australian. "She's tied up on even days. It's only fair."

Foreman looked his boss over, wondering if he was serious. "Does Cuddy always give her territory a shiner?"

"What can I say?" House answered. "She's very territorial about her hospital and everyone in it.."

"Are you going to tell us how you really got that shiner?" Foreman wondered.

The diagnostician told his employees, "Ask Cuddy, since I really wasn't awake for the crowning moment."

"What?" Cameron scrunched up her face in confusion.

"Just ask Cuddy. Tell her I sent you," House said.

"When can we expect our love taps?" Chase asked. "There should be enough to go around for everyone. We're part of the hospital too."

"Love taps are reserved for Cuddy's very special friends," House said with a devilish grin. "I'm afraid her 'special friend' quota is over the limit for the time being. Until then you all will have to settle for branding iron. She's ready whenever you are."


"I'm a marked man, thanks to you," House said as Cuddy closed her front door.

"Yes, I had more than a few questions about my 'love taps' all afternoon." The front door shut and locked. The lady doctor followed him to the living room. "Why was I elected to be the official storyteller today?"

"I literally slept through most of it," he said as he settled into his spot on the couch, spinning his cane. "My side of the story doesn't really count. You're storyteller by default."

"Thanks."

"Don't mention it. By the way, I was serious about the glass of water thing. The smacking thing works, but if this keeps up I'll look like I pissed off Sean Penn by the end of the week."

"I can handle water if you can handle it. I'll keep some towels nearby too."

"Always thinking of me."

"You know I do," Cuddy smiled as she took a seat beside him.

"Mmmmm...slapping me awake, promising to throw water on me, what more could a guy ask for?"

"You're not mad at me for what I did last night?"

"No, you're mad at yourself. I guess you could classify me as grateful."

"Grateful? Really?" She didn't want the skepticism to slip out, but it slid under the radar anyway.

If House noticed, he was hiding it well. "I'd rather wake up surprised than wake up terrified."

"Good point," she agreed.

"You better believe it."

"So what was with the whole 'marking my territory' thing?"

"Cameron still wants me," he answered. "Just letting her know odd of her getting in my pants were slim. I can't help it if I'm such a babe-magnet."