Chapter 30: The Eyes That Don't Vanish

I'm sorry for becoming lazy and not updating as quickly as I used to. I promise to update more often and get off my lazy butt. Anyways, here's chapter 31, an emotional chapter.


December 21st ~~~

Friday

Len's POV

After a really odd night yesterday, I'm hoping that today will be a whole lot more calm. Well, as calm as it can be with Rin and her parents. She really wasn't kidding when she said they were "crazy".

"Not with true love~! I can just imagine it now, darling. The beautiful music in the background and the strewn rose petals on the ground… And Rin is walking towards you with her beautiful white dress and smiling brightly! Everyone in the crowd will be watching with envy, excitement, and loving eyes. And there will definitely be HD pictures to capture the moment forever for your future children."

Heh, future children with Rin?

I set down my blue toothbrush next to three other ones. The orange one is probably Rin's, I'm guessing.

If we were married, then my toothbrush would be next to hers everyday, just like it is now.

Er, I mean, if we were roommates. Rin and I don't think of each other that way.

Just then, I hear some chatter and banging of pots downstairs. A female voice yelps and another sound of pots fall to the ground. I start walking downstairs and peek my head into the kitchen to see Rin's mother clutching her left ring finger. Rin's father is laughing and picking up some of the fallen pots and pans.

"How did you cut yourself?" he asks and she points over to the knife on the counter. He laughs and raises up her finger.

"It's not funny, Luo." She frowns.

Swiftly, he lifts her finger up to his lips and kisses her cut. A blush spreads across her cheeks as she looks at his closed eyes. It feels odd just watching them, but I haven't seen something like this in years.

Ever since my mother died…

He then moves over to her diamond ring and kisses it too, making her start to stutter. "L-Luo."

"I'll guard you against any villain. I'll always be by your side," he quotes from the movie "Baby Bear".

"What's going on?"

I jump out of the way and turn my head over to see Rin walking down the stairs with messy hair. Her eyes look dazed and sleepy and her oversized shirt is clinging to her. She even has soft pajama bottoms of oranges. How cute.

"Good morning, Rinny," I say with a smirk and her eyes snap open instantly.

"L-Len? ! What the heck are you doing here?"

"Remember- I'm spending winter break with your family?"

"Rin? Is that you, darling?" Rin's mother head pokes out of the kitchen door to see the both of us standing in the living room. She smiles at me. "Good morning, Len. Did you have a pleasant sleep?"

I nod my head slowly and Rin's father head pops up too. "Breakfast will be ready in a bit!"

Their heads disappear back into the kitchen and more sounds of food preparation come out. Rin sighs and rubs her hair. I'm surprised that she hasn't ran up the stairs and gotten dressed or began putting on make-up. Whenever I walk by girls in school, they start flaunting their bodies or fixing their hair. Rin doesn't seem to care how she looks like in front of me though. In fact, I think she may have some dry drool on her left cheek.

"Say Len, do you watch morning cartoon shows?" Rin asks, walking over to me.

"Eh? Why the random question?"

Rin links her arm to my left one and drags me over to her couch. "I'm guessing that you haven't?"

She plops me down beside her and grabs the remote on the side. We're extremely close to each other, but she doesn't seem to mind that either. I can smell the orange essence coming off of her and her left arm keeps rubbing up against mine. She nudges my side and nods over to the television screen.

"This is my favorite show," Rin says and laughs as a cat gets hits by a falling plate. More plates continue to crash into the cat's head since a mouse is pushing them off the edge of the counter.

"I remember watching this show," I say and laugh as the cat starts seeing stars.

"I'd wake up early sometimes just to watch these. But usually I'd be all alone in the couch and laughing my butt off," Rin chuckles and turns to me. "Did you watch these alone too?"

An image of a younger me laughing at a television screen appears in my mind and I nod.

"Looks like I've found one thing that we both like," Rin says and smiles to herself. I don't know whether it's the silly show, or Rin's smiling face, but a warm feeling explodes inside me and I smile.


Later on that evening~~~

Rin's POV

"So this is all I have to get from the store," I say and look at the list in my hand. I quickly fold it back up and stick it into my right breast pocket of my black jacket. Just as I'm about to head out, my father pushes Len over to me.

"Len, go to make sure that Rinny won't be harmed."

And over here I thought that he had forgotten about the nickname…

"I can protect myself well enough dad," I say, frowning at what seemed like a sexist comment.

"Of course you can, but what if some bad boys try to hit on my daughter? Len must go so he can pretend to be your boyfriend!" my mother butts in. Mother, I believe that the "bad boy" here, is Len.

"I don't mind going," Len answers.

I sigh and grab my white scarf. "I suppose it'll be fun."

The reason I wanted to go alone was to stop by Aito's house. He had texted me saying that he wanted to practice confessing more, since the date is on New Years. But with Len there… won't that be a bit odd?

"Do you have something important to tend to?" Len asks as he puts on a coat as well. I dismiss the question by opening the front door and letting a cold breeze in.

Shopping with Len. I wonder how this will turn out.


Aito's House~~~

"So this is why you wanted to come alone."

Len groans and kicks the snow under his feet. I knock again, a little louder. His frown is unnerving. It's like he doesn't like Aito. I haven't the slightest clue why he would have any reason to dislike him.

"It's not like I'm doing anything bad, Len. Aito just needs some help," I say and the front door opens. Great timing.

"Hello Rin," Aito says and looks over to see Len cursing and kicking snow. "…and Len. Please come on in."

"Thank you," I say and we both walk in after taking off our shoes. Aito shoots me a panicked look while Len isn't looking and I shrug my shoulders. His eyes snap over to Len and I nervously scratch my hair.

"Well, I guess it can't be helped," Aito sighs and ruffles up his hair a bit. "Okay, so I have about 10 days before the big day arrives."

"Big day?" Len asks and raises his eyebrows.

"The day that I confess to Luka that I love her," Aito replies. I notice as Len's eye twitches at the word.

"Are you really sure you l-l- I mean, have strong romantic feelings about her?"

"Of course I am," Aito says, "I love everything about Luka."

"Are you serious? I mean, what if she turns out to be different? Or what if it doesn't last?"

"That's not what I care about now. All I want is to reveal my feelings about her. I've been hiding my feelings for over four years now."

"Dude, she had the option of dating you for four years. Why would you want to throw yourself out there like that?"

"You wouldn't understand Len. You don't even believe in love, do you?" Aito laughs. "You can't even say the word."

"Because it's a stupid feeling that was just invented by movies and romance novels! People may like each other, but it never lasts! Haven't you heard the phrase, "Nothing lasts forever?"

Okay… this is turning out to be 10 times worse than I thought it would be…

"Rin, I think it would be better if you came another day," Aito says quietly.

"That's why you asked her to come here? So she could help you rehearse to ask Luka out?" Len asks coldly. "Why don't you try and take her feelings into consideration for once?"

"Rin doesn't mind helping me," Aito interjects. "Maybe you just have a problem of me doing this with Rin."

"Of course I do! Don't you know that she-"

"I think we'll be leaving now!" I yell and grabs Len's hand quickly. "It was nice seeing you Aito, and we'll talk soon!"

"Wait, what?" Len yells as I throw open the door and push him outside. I grab our shoes and run outside before closing the door.

"…bye?" Aito says, confused.


Normal POV~~~

The two begin walking over to the supermarket, quiet this time. Rin continues glancing over at Len, but his eyes remain glued to the ground. Even as they enter the busy-body store the two hardly exchange any words. Rin bites her lip as she looks at the bags of oranges and then over at the bananas. With a sigh, she grabs the bananas instead and places them in the cart.

Len doesn't seem to notice.

As they pay for the items, Len's eyes stray to the people walking around them. Parents walk around hand-in-hand with their children, either laughing and talking, or being dragged onto the toy section. He watches as a parent begrudgingly agrees to buy the doll set for his daughter. She cheers and runs into his arms with joy.

It's almost too painful to watch.

"Len, can you help me carry these?"

Len snaps out of this thoughts and walks over to Rin to grab some of the plastic bags.


Rin's POV~~~

Len's been acting strange ever since the whole Aito incident. Could it be something that Aito told him? Well, Aito does tend to be blunt with things when people anger him. After that, his mood changed completely. Even in dinner he didn't say that much words and just looked at my parents. It was odd… his eyes looked like they were full of loss?

The whole thing is confusing, and I don't know how to talk to him about it. If I just ask a straightforward question, will he deny everything? And what if he gets annoyed when I beat around the bushes?

I let out a sigh and run my hand through my hair before pulling out my diary from its hidden spot.

I'll have to ask him about it either way. I can't let him suffer like that.


Saturday ~~~

8:46 P.M

Normal POV

"Father, where is Len?" Rin asks, looking around the house. She had been searching for him earlier but couldn't find him anywhere.

'I still need to talk to him. He's only gotten worse from yesterday…' Rin thinks with a frown.

"I think he said he was going out," Rin's mother says.

"Out? Where could he be going at a time like this?" Rin asks.

Rin's mother places poinsettias into a dark vase. "He said he was going to go to visit his mother's grave, but he's been out for an hour."

'His mother's grave?' Rin runs over to her room and grabs her coat then races back downstairs. 'What could he have done in an hour? What if it brought back memories to him and he-'

Rin shakes her head and runs to the front door.

"Rin, darling, where are you going?" her mother asks.

"I'm off to find Len- I'll be right back," Rin says and opens the door quickly. She takes a step out and closes the door behind her.


Len's POV~~~

The moon shines down on a lonely figure standing beside a grave.I cross my arms and try to pull the coat closer to my body, but the heat doesn't come. I bend down and slowly write her name on the snow in slow lines. I should have brought some mittens with me, because my fingers become numb in seconds.

It disappears and before my eyes, so I trace over it again and again. As many times as I need to in order for the name to stay.

"I'll never let go," I told her as she lay in the hospital bed.

The promise...Surely when time passes those kinds of things weaken. Even a second after you let the words out, it's no longer the same. I spent everyday with her, holding her hand and drawing what I couldn't say with my limited young mind. The memories shrivel up and collapse into the ground. I watched her eyes close and her grip loosened as I held in my tears.

"Please don't go."

Just let the snow collect and bury me within my troubles. Let it swallow me whole and maybe, just maybe, I can sink low enough to be able to be at the level of my mother's grave. But here I am, sitting still and fighting back the hot, stinging tears in my eyes as my mind breaks down. Each memory falls just like the snow and my frozen tears. Until the day comes when we can meet each other again, don't forget me.

But what are these drops of liquid falling down my cheeks?

I just feel so confused right now.


Rin's POV~~~

I can't express how relieved I am that Len is still at the cemetery. I let out a sigh of relief and slowly walk over to him. He's just sitting there, staring at the grave. My body begins to weigh twice what it felt like just a second ago, and the corners of my mouth fall.

I'm lucky to have two loving parents alive.

But what does Len have?

Left all alone, how could he live like that? Surely it's lonely to be by yourself...

I must have stepped over a twig or something, because something snaps beneath my feet. Len looks up from the ground, and turns over to the noise.

He's crying...?

"Len, what's wrong?" I ask as he wipes his tears away. He doesn't answer me. "Len?"

Again, no sound reaches my ears.

"Len, why won't you answer me?" I ask, walking up to him. He sniffs and stands up by himself, his back turned to me.

"I'm alright."

"Len-"

"You go back to your house. I'll be there in a bit," Len replies coldly.

Why doesn't he want to tell me what's wrong? Does he not trust me enough to confide in me?

The frown on my face deepens and I turn around so our backs face each other. "Fine, I'll leave you."

Just as I'm about to walk out, a hand reaches out and grabs my shoulder. I can hear Len whisper, but I can't understand what he's saying.

What's that hand doing there? Please take it off...this-this isn't supposed to feel this way...

He turns me around and suddenly, two strong arms wrap themselves around me.

What's this all of a sudden?

"Please don't leave me alone," he breathes out quietly.

I shouldn't be feeling this way about him. My heart twists and turns, but just after that, it's okay. The feeling of his arms around me is, oddly...comforting.

"I won't leave you alone, understand?" I say as he tears himself away from me. He looks away, indecisive.

"I'm a monster, Rin," Len says quietly, looking at the ground. "After all I've done and how I am with girls, I bet I'll die alone. I'm always alone. After mom left, dad left me all alone. Sometimes I think I was happy that he died. What kind of a person wouldn't be sad that his dad died? Not one single tear. I'm a horrible monster. He was too, and I just learned from him. Looking at everyone who has someone makes me feel lonely. Everyone has someone to hold and someone who unconditionally loves them. It's painful t-to see everyone."

"Why are you saying all of this?" I ask, getting a little scared. "You weren't thinking like this before."

"I'm always this way," Len replies, placing his hands on his head. "It was all a brave front. I don't like getting pity, and I can't stand it when you try being so nice to me just so I won't break. I don't want to be burden on you."

"A burden on me?" I ask.

"You're always helping everyone instead of yourself," Len says. "You help Luka try and get with Kaito, even if you get dragged into unnecessary things. You're helping Aito build courage to ask out Luka, although you still love him. Doesn't it get tiring? To try and make everyone happy when you feel like you're about to burst inside? I don't want you to senselessly try and help me."

"What are you saying that echoes for so long?" I ask, stepping up, just inches away from his face. Len meets my eyes but quickly looks back down from the small distance. "I'm not nice to you out of pity, okay? You are my best friend- I'll do anything for you. If I ever promise you anything in my life, it's that."

"Don't give up so easily," I say, trying to get him to look at me. "Stop looking at your shirt and meet my eyes."

Since his eyes remain on himself, I use an insult. "Your eyes look like trash."

"What was that for?" Len asks and quickly looks back up at me with a frown.

"I got your attention, right? You've still got a spark in you, Len. You can't give up yet," I says, looking into his blue eyes. His eyes soften and he keeps his gaze on me. "I won't let you."

"Tomorrow, you'll hold tightly onto my hand. On that Sunday we'll laugh, have fun, say silly things, and we might not sleep because each other's company is too fun to pass up. When you feel lonely, just turn to me."

I drop my voice and hold out my hand. "I can say all this, but it's up for you to decide. Tell me your reply."

A warm hand interlocks with mine and holds it tightly, afraid to let go. The fuses come together, setting off sparks. Don't you dare let this hand loose.


The song reference is in the chapter title, most of them are, actually. There's another hidden one, but I'll leave that up to you all to try and find it.

Thank you for all of your reviews :D I appreciate them all, I really do.

Thank you for taking the time to read this too. It's nice to know that all these numbers are actually real people who are enjoying this story in different parts of the world. It brings a warm feeling in my heart. Excuse me for being cheesy, but it's true. Anyways, review if you'd like down below, and hopefully I'll have the next chapter up quicker. Bye bye~!