15 The Problem with Mondo

Title: The Picnic

Mondo stares at Taka as the kid stares at his baby, the look on his face a mix of intense apprehension, mild astonishment, and not a small amount of admiration. It's not a look he's seen often on his kyoudai's face, but he has to say he definitely likes it... but then again, he likes most expressions that Taka has. He likes Taka, after all. A whole hell of a lot...

The apprehension is a bit worrying, though. He knows that Taka agreed to go out with him, but Taka is prolly one of the most— if not /the/ most— accommodating people he's ever met. As such, he is positive that Taka absolutely would agree to do something like this even if he desperately didn't want to, all to please Mondo. Which he... most definitely does /not/ want. Ever.

Shuffling a bit closer to Taka, Mondo mumbles in the kid's ear, offering him an out if he wishes to take it.

"Y'okay, kyoudai? We ain't gotta ride today, if ya don't wanna... I, uh, really don't mind. I don't want ya ta feel uncomfortable or anythin'..."

He watches as Taka turns to face him, a small smile on his lips, which takes his breath away for a moment. It gets worse when Taka's smile widens to a grin, the boy nodding as enthusiastically as ever. Fuck...

He's so goddamn perfect...

"You have no need to worry, my kyoudai! I am not uncomfortable at all! I trust you above all else, and I am actually looking forward to our ride!" Taka exclaims, his eyes crinkling with the strength of his smile. It makes Mondo feel a rush of absolute /joy/, knowing the kid means it completely, since he can't detect even a hint of a lie. A small laugh escapes from his lips as he reaches out to touch the kid's side, unbidden.

"Really?! Shit, man, awesome! Hell fuckin' yeah! Alright, man, let's head out, okay? I wanna show ya something an' I'm hopin' we can get there in time. Ya need any help with yer helmet?"

Mondo asks that because he can see the kid fiddling with it in his hands, reminding him of the slightly baffled look on Taka's face when he'd handed it to him a few moments before. It's so fucking adorable— especially since the kid is wearing the biker jacket he got him for Halloween, which is such a juxtaposition with the baffled look— but it also indicates that the kid prolly needs help. Taka nodding sheepishly confirms it. Mondo chuckles as he grabs the helmet and places it gently on his kyoudai's head. It fits perfectly, like he figured it would, ha.

"Heh, here ya go, kyoudai. Y'ain't gonna get the whole experience with this shit on, the wind not gonna go through yer hair like it should, but eh. Whatever. If it makes ya feel safe an' shit," Mondo claims, rolling his eyes as he begins clipping the helmet in place. As he does it, he can see Taka glare at him, actual annoyance in his eyes as he huffs. Well, shit... that ain't good...

"It is not just to feel safe; it is to be safe! You should be wearing a helmet too, kyoudai! It is unsafe not to!"

That makes Mondo glare, his own annoyance rising. Because... shit, who the fuck does Taka think Mondo is?! He's the Ultimate fucking Biker Gang Leader, for Christ's sake! He ain't no fucking novice who needs shit like a /helmet/! Ain't like a helmet will protect him much if he crashes anyway... not at the speeds he usually drives at... but he prolly shouldn't say that to Taka.

After a moment the annoyance fades, Mondo realizing that Taka is just nervous, and the kid always tends to get more overbearing when he's anxious about shit. While it's a bit annoying, it's also endearing (like everything about Taka is), and he can at least appreciate the kid's concern. Even if it ain't needed.

Rolling his eyes again, he firmly presses down the shield. And if he does it a bit firmer than he strictly needs to, well… he never claimed to not be petty. He can see the kid glaring from behind the clear shield, scowl on his lips, which is so fucking cute it almost makes him smile. But he prolly shouldn't, unless he wants to aggravate the kid more, though he can't help replying to that bullshit. He does make sure to increase his volume when he speaks, knowing that helmets can muffle shit sometimes. Another reason he hates them...

"Ah, shut the fuck up! Ain't like I need shit like that. I've been ridin' since I was a kid, shit. Don't need a fuckin' helmet. 'Sides. It would mess with the pomp. An' I ain't fuckin' doin' that, not even fer yer peace a' mind. I'll get ya a helmet, but don't expect me ta wear one. Got it?"

The kid keeps on glaring, a pout rising on his lips as his arms cross petulantly. However, Mondo is just as stubborn as Taka and— while he usually caves under the force of Taka's stare— he ain't gonna back down from this shit. He doesn't need a fucking helmet, alright?! He just... doesn't. And not even Taka is gonna change his mind about that.

Luckily, it seems that Taka can see how serious he is about this, as he lets out a heavy sigh a few moments later and rolls his eyes, his shoulders relaxing and his arms uncrossing. Mondo can still see that he is unhappy about it, and he hates the nervous look Taka has in his eyes, but... shit. He knows what he's doing, and he doesn't need a helmet. He just /doesn't/.

"Alright, kyoudai! But please be careful! Please..."

Mondo smiles as he hears the muffled words, his heart melting at the concern he can clearly hear even through the shield. Fuck, but his kyoudai is the absolute, goddamn best... how the fuck did he get so lucky as to find him...? Unable to stop himself, he reaches out and pulls Taka to his side for a quick side hug.

"Heh. Y'ain't gotta worry 'bout me, kyoudai. I know what I'm doin', alright? I ain't exactly itchin' ta meet my maker, I'll have ya know. I'm careful when I drive. I make sure ta be. Don't- shit. Don't wanna ruin my hog, heh..." Mondo claims, his voice unintentionally tighter as he remembers the one time that he /wasn't/ careful, and the consequences of that day that he must now live with for the rest of his goddamn life. And while... while he stopped being too careful after- /after/, he... he has a reason to be careful again. A very, very good reason.

He shakes the feeling off quickly, though, not wanting to bring the mood down. He pulls away from Taka and quickly heads over to his baby to escape the moment, mounting her with his usual ease. It's like second nature to him, and his shoulders loosen from any hint of tension the moment he's seated on her body. Fuck, he loves his girl...

When a moment passes and Taka doesn't do much more than stare at him with wide eyes, he looks back at him and raises an eyebrow.

"Well? Ya comin'?" he calls, a perverse rush of pleasure filling him as Taka jolts and begins walking over to his baby, head nodding all the while. It's almost funny how Taka is staring at his baby, honestly. He looks like she's a particularly complicated math problem, or a foreign object, not a fucking /hog/, shit. It should annoy the shit outta Mondo, but it sure as fuck doesn't...

"Just fuckin' throw a leg around it, shit, Taka. Ain't fuckin' rocket science," Mondo snorts, rolling his eyes and smirking at Taka. He feels a bit smug as Taka scowls, cheeks flushing a beautiful pink.

The kid then hisses something at him, but Mondo has no idea what the fuck he said, given the shield blocking the sound. Something about space or some shit? With a bit of exasperation, he reaches forward and lifts the shield, figuring that if they're gonna be conversing, it might help to have the shield up.

Taka huffs out an exasperated sigh and repeats what he said, his annoyance plain in the words. And his usual nerves, of course.

"I /said/ that I know that, kyoudai! There's just... not a lot of space for me to sit, that's all," Taka huffs, clearly feeling fed up with this shit. And honestly, Mondo does feel a little bad for the kid, knowing that he's a bit out of his depths, and also knowing that Taka /hates/ being out his depths. But really...

"Fuck, 'course there ain't much space, it's made fer one person," he says, rolling his eyes. And it's true. While some hogs are designed with passengers in mind, his isn't, not really, outside of having extra foot pegs. Why would it be when he's more often than not the sole rider? He's had passengers on a few times, though, and as long as they're close to him it's usually fine. "Yer gonna hafta sit close ta me, duh. I've had people on my hog 'fore, people bigger than you, an' it ain't a hassle. Should be fine, Taka. Just get the fuck on..."

Mondo gets distracted for a second as Taka bites his lip, his stomach lurching as heat blooms in his gut. Like always when Taka bites his lip, honestly. But it's so fucking inappropriate, so he firmly pushes it aside as Taka nods once to himself and begins moving closer to the hog, looking so adorably apprehensive, dear god.

He gets a little concerned when he sees Taka try and throw his leg over his baby, only to misjudge the height of his leg relative to the seat, causing him to overbalance immediately, a yelp of surprise releasing from his lips. He can tell that the kid is okay, though, and he can't help the snort that escapes his lips, nor the chuckle that follow. Taka's pissy expression and pink cheeks just makes it worse, honestly, as cute as it is. He knows he shouldn't, knows Taka hates being laughed at, but c'mon... it's fucking adorable how bad Taka is at all things relating to hogs...

"Heh, c'mon Taka. Just hold onta me as ya swing yer leg over. Don't worry 'bout kickin' me, I've had worse. Just relax. Yer thinkin' 'bout it too much. Psychin' yerself out. Ya got this, kyoudai, slowly now," Mondo mutters, a gentle smile on his face when he finally sobers, and he figures it might be good to take pity on his precious as fuck kyoudai. He then scoots up so that he's pressed against the handlebar, giving the kid as much space as possible. He absolutely can't drive like this, but he can adjust once Taka gets on the hog, honestly. Having more room might make Taka feel more confident in his ability to mount the hog, too.

And it does work. Taka holds gently to his shoulder (which immediately begin tingling with electricity) and swings his leg over again. It's still a bit too high, but because he's holding onto Mondo, he doesn't overbalance this time.

Unfortunately, in his excitement at actually mounting the hog, Taka still doesn't realize that the seat is lower than he expects and sits a bit too heavily, forcing him to jolt sharply forward into Mondo's back. And since Taka isn't exactly a waif of a boy, he forces Mondo forward enough that his gut gets jammed into the handlebar, causing him to grunt in pain. It's not the worst pain he's been in, not even close, but it's definitely uncomfortable.

"Oh! Are you alright, kyoudai?!" he hears Taka cry, sounding absolutely horrified as he scoots back. It makes any possible annoyance in Mondo melt away, his heart clenching at the upset he hears. Shit, it ain't like it was Taka's fault, goddamn. Scooting back a reasonable distance from the handlebar, he looks at Taka over his shoulder, trying to look comforting, though he doesn't know how much of his face Taka can see from the angle.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Like I said, had worse. Now, wrap yer arms 'round my waist. Yer gonna wanna hold on tight, got it? Don't want ya ta fall off or anythin'... just hold tight ta me an' ya should be fine."

He can feel Taka hesitate behind him for a second, before feeling tentative arms wrap loosely around his waist. Way too fucking loose, Jesus fucking Christ. Snorting, Mondo grabs the arms and pulls them closer around him, doing his best to be gentle, but knowing that Taka won't listen to him unless he forces the issue. The kid is so fucking proper, prolly hating to be 'inappropriately close' to him. Like they've not been closer when snuggling up on the couch, Christ. Regardless, Mondo knows that if Taka doesn't hold on super fucking tight? He's gonna fall off. And that... yeah. Not happening.

(It also feels nice. You know? Feeling Taka pressed tight to his back, his arms firm on his waist. But he ain't supposed to think of shit like that, so he pushes it down. Where it fucking /belongs/, dear god.)

"The fuck did I just say? Gotta hold tight, bro. Ain't time ta be feelin' embarrassed or shit. While I know how ta handle this thing, it ain't like it's a walk in the fuckin' park. Ya gotta do certain things or else things can turn real ugly, real quick. Trust me, kyoudai, I know what I'm doin'. Now, put yer legs like I am, okay? Might feel a bit weird at first, but it'll feel better when we start movin'."

Mondo places his feet against the foot pegs then, getting into 'ready' position. Taka does the same after a moment and it makes him smile softly, heart beginning to race as he realizes that this is fucking /it/. After weeks (and maybe even months, if he's being honest) of thinking about this— /dreaming/ about it— it's finally fucking /here/. He... he's got Taka on his baby. And god /damn/ does it feel nice...

Of course, the kid has to go and say something so fucking adorable to really cement in the moment.

"Ah, kyoudai?" the kid questions, sounding confused. When Mondo grunts in acknowledgment, the kid continues. "Where... um. W-where's the seatbelt?"

The question honestly takes Mondo by surprise. Where's... the fucking... /seatbelt/...?! Holy shit-! Now, Mondo knew that Taka knew fuck all about hogs, but god fucking /damn/ is this kid clueless. Usually, he'd be so fucking pissed at the lack of knowledge about hogs, but honestly? It's so fucking cute, dear god.

As such, he can't stop the laughter that bursts out of him, happy and boisterous like it always is with Taka and his usually unintentionally hilarious comments. He knows he shouldn't, knows the kid hates it, but... fuck, he can't help it. Truly.

"Please tell me yer shittin' me," Mondo snickers, looking over his shoulder, though he knows the kid isn't. Seeing Taka's stony face and hearing his icy silence, he knows he shouldn't linger on it or else he will make Taka feel worse. Sighing and shaking his head fondly, he continues. "Ya truly know fuck all 'bout hogs, don't ya... goddamn. Motorcycles ain't got seatbelts, kyoudai. It's less safe ta have 'em, actu'ly. In a car, belts keep ya from bein' thrown through the window, keepin' ya in the relatively safe body. But a motorcycle? Ya get inta a crash, ya actu'ly wanna be thrown from the hog, or else ya run the risk a' bein' crushed under its weight. Trust me, y'ain't want that ta happen. Seen it a couple a' time an', uh... ain't fuckin' pretty. With that jacket an' yer helmet, not ta mention the fuckin' /knee pads/ ya got on under yer uniform, ya should be pretty safe if anythin' happens. Which it fuckin' /won't/, ain't a goddamn fuckin' novice at this shit, fuck. S'long as ya hold tight ta me an' move with me when I turn an' shit, ya'll be perfectly safe. An' that's a man's promise, Kiyo. Got it?"

He can tell by the heavy silence that Taka isn't exactly comforted by the words, but the kid doesn't jump off the hog and run away. Instead... instead, he lets out a soft sigh and nods slowly, looking super anxious from what Mondo can see. It's so fucking cute, honestly, even if he feels bad for the kid. He knows that he would never let Taka get hurt, but he also knows that some people find hogs scary. He doesn't get it, personally, but who is he to judge? He fucking can't stand spiders, though he ain't a little bitch about it. People just get afraid of some shit, that's all.

But still, Taka doesn't leave. He just reaches up and puts the shield back down, his body shaking only a little. Figuring that means the kid is done with conversation, Mondo turns back to face forward and turns the key in the ignition. His baby comes to life beneath him, and it's so fucking good, goddamn. He fucking adores the feel of his baby beneath his legs, the vibration so fucking good against his junk. It can get a bit painful on long rides, but honestly? Mondo likes a bit of pain mixed with his pleasure, so it ain't too bad. He has no idea if Taka likes it or not, but he hopes he does. His mind goes in a /very/ bad direction then, which he cuts off as soon as he notices it. Because nope! Not fucking going there!

Shouting to hopefully be heard over the roar of the engine and the muffling quality of the helmet, he warns the kid about what is about to happen.

"Hey, Taka! I'm gonna start movin' now! Remember, hold on tight ta my waist an' move with my body, an' ya'll be safe! Ain't gonna let nothin' happen ta ya, kyoudai, I fuckin' promise!"

Mondo doesn't know if Taka hears him, but he doesn't have much time to check. It took them a little bit to get going and it's almost 4:20. Sundown starts soon-ish, and he doesn't want Taka to miss that shit. Not at fucking all...

Revving the engine, Mondo begins to move his baby to the entrance of the school, going a hell of a lot slower and more careful than he usually does. That doesn't stop Taka from letting out a loud, high-pitched scream as he tightens his arms around Mondo's waist, pressing as close as humanly possible. Mondo feels some concern for the kid, but he knows for a fact that this is just the kid's natural fear of new shit, not anything to do with his driving, since he's barely done shit.

Letting his excitement at the fact he has /Taka on his fucking pride and joy, finally/ take over, Mondo lets out an excited whoop as he exits the parking lot, his laughter bright on the wind. He's always adored riding on his baby, don't get him wrong, but he's gotta say… it's been a while since he was /this/ excited to be riding her. But he can't help it. It's just... so fucking good. Feeling Taka pressed tight to him, feeling his warmth, knowing that Taka is /with him/... fuck. It's so good. He just hopes that Taka gets used to the feel of moving soon...

Mondo doesn't get a chance to check on Taka until he rolls to a stop at their first stop light, but as soon as they're stopped, he looks over his shoulder to check on the kid. He's still clinging to him like his life depends on it (and honestly, it kinda does), and he wants to make sure he's okay. It's gonna take at least forty-five to reach Daiya's lake, and they're gonna be on the highway for most of the ride, so he wants to make sure the kid is alright before they make it to the highway. If he wants off already... well. There is a park nearby, he guesses...

"Kyoudai! Are ya doin' okay?!" Mondo shouts as loud as he can, hoping the kid can hear him over the sound of his baby and the muffling of the helmet.

There is a long moment's pause as the kid prolly thinks about it, his hands still clutching his duster desperately. Mondo is about to say 'fuck it' and pull over, fully prepared to call his entire stupid as shit plan off if Taka is /this/ fucking scared that he can't even speak, but then-

"I AM OKAY! TERRIFIED, BUT OKAY!"

The words are so fucking loud, loud even with the roar of his baby and through the helmet, but he knows the kid means it. The whole 'terrified' part concerns him, but he had figured that would happen, at first at least. The kid didn't even wanna go on the fucking kiddie rides at the festival yesterday because they were too 'risky.' He bets riding with him on his hog is the riskiest thing this kid has ever done. And while he hates making Taka afraid, it's good to get out of your comfort zone every so often... ya know? And it's not like Mondo would /ever/ do anything that would put Taka at risk. He may not care much for his own life usually, but he would never risk Taka. Or even himself, now that he has Taka in his life to make it worth living...

It still makes him laugh, though. Taka's loud as fuck words. He moves his hand down to cover Taka's, hoping to comfort him, but unfortunately Mondo isn't able to do much more since the light turns green then and he has to move. He's still going super fucking slow, only about 55 kph, so he hopes the kid is doing alright... at least Taka doesn't scream again, so that's progress, right?

They reach another stoplight way too fucking quick, which is why Mondo hates driving on city streets. You can't get anywhere with this fucking stop and go shit. With a growl, he turns back to Taka, shouting again to let him know his plan, figuring Taka would appreciate knowing what's going on before it happens. The kid is meticulous that way.

"Fuckin' hate this shit! I'm gonna get us ta the highway, got it?! I'll be goin' a lot faster than this, so make sure yer still holdin' on tight! Don't worry, it'll be perfectly safe! I got ya, Kiyo!"

He distantly feels Taka nod against him, slow, as his arms tighten even more. It's not uncomfortable, though, not at all, so he doesn't bring it up. He may be imagining it, but he... he thinks he feels less tension in Taka's body, even with how tight he's clinging to him. Prolly wishful thinking, but who knows... maybe. He's always kind of figured that if Taka could just learn to loosen up a little, he may like living life a bit more dangerously. Just a touch.

The kid still doesn't scream when the light turns green and they start moving again, so he figures that Taka is doing alright. Taking a few turns (Taka pliant as he moves fluidly with Mondo's body), he finds the nearest entrance ramp for the highway he needs, his blood singing as he is finally able to go as fast as he fucking desires. Or, well... not really. Not with Taka here. With Taka, he makes sure to not go a kilometer above the speed limit, though he doesn't think Taka is in any frame of mind to reprimand him if he did, given how tightly he clings and presses his helmet into Mondo's back. But he just... he doesn't want to break the limit. Not when Taka is here with him, /trusting/ him to keep them both safe. He... fuck. He doesn't want to break the kid's trust, not even slightly. And if that means minding the speed limit like a little bitch? Well. Then so be it. Anything for Taka...

Mondo concentrates on driving after that, his attention fully on the road and on the drivers around him. He's pretty sure he pays more attention to driving than he has... ever, really. Even when he first started as a kid, riding illegally after his big bro, he never felt much fear while on his hog. Yeah, he knew he could die in an instance, but it just never mattered. It wasn't real to him, cocky arrogance through and through. And after Daiya... well. After that, he just didn't really care either way.

But now he has precious cargo. The most precious cargo, more precious than he's ever had before. He makes sure to do all the shit Daiya taught him as a kid, the shit he rarely bothers with because he knows he can go without. But here, with Taka... shit. He makes sure to follow every rule and law he's ever learned to a fucking /tee/. Blinkers, turn signals, speed limit, driver courtesy... you name it, he makes sure to fucking follow it. He doesn't go between cars, even, if he can help it. He stays in his lane, eyes keen on the road, and does all he can to keep his kyoudai safe.

The drive itself doesn't take very long, even with how much slower he is going. He can see the sun starting to set when they are still about fifteen minutes out, though, and he curses under his breath. Shit, goddamnit. He needs them to get there before the sun sets fully, which he knows from experience is always quicker than he'd expect. While nighttime at Daiya's lake is beautiful in its own right... sunset is by far his favorite. Or sunrise... either is the fucking best, honestly. But the sun sets over the lake, allowing the world to glow in the setting sun, which is just... fuck. He has no fucking words for it, it's that astounding. He... he really wants Taka to be able to see it.

Speeding up just a little, not too much, he focuses more intently on getting to the lake. He does his best to ignore the feeling of Taka pressed against him, knowing he has to focus entirely if he wants them to arrive on time, though it's very hard. Feeling Taka pressed against him while he's riding his baby is— hands down— the best thing he's ever felt. In his entire goddamn /life/. He wishes he had more frame of mind to just enjoy it... maybe, if Taka enjoys the ride and agrees to go out with him again, he can take him somewhere simple. Like the arena, a place they can enjoy riding without worrying about places to be or other people. Just... him, and Taka, and his baby below them. Yeah... that would be so fucking nice.

He pushes the thought out of his mind, though, and keeps driving as fast as he dares, mild anxiety rising within him. After about ten minutes of tense driving, Mondo sees the exit ramp, his body letting out the breath he'd been holding. He can still see that the sun is high enough in the sky that— as long as he and Taka get parked and ready quick— they should hopefully just about make it.

He slows down a little as he drives on the side road, even though there is no one else alongside them. If he were alone, he'd just blaze down as fast as always, but… well. Mondo allows his eyes to track the forest as they enter it, a small smile rising on his lips at the sight. Fuck, he's always loved this shit… he remembers watching from behind Daiya as they flew down the road, his eyes wide as he took in the forest as it zipped past. It never failed to amaze him as a child, and it still doesn't to this day. He hopes Taka is able to find similar enjoyment from it.

Eventually he finds a good place to stop, a good many meters from the lake itself, far enough that Taka won't be able to see it just yet through the trees and ruin the surprise. He could likely drive them closer, but… well. Like he said. He wouldn't want to ruin the surprise prematurely.

When he turns off his baby, the sound of the forest rushes in to fill the silence, as peaceful as it's always been. Mondo would feel embarrassed for loving such a girlish thing, but honestly…? He doesn't give a single fuck. This shit is fucking /magical/, and anyone who says otherwise is a goddamn liar in his books.

Mondo sits and just breathes for several seconds, returning back to the real world leisurely, feeling so fucking relaxed. As he comes down from the incredible high that riding his baby always gives him, he notices that the kid is still clinging desperately to him, his body shaking subtly against Mondo's. It makes his stomach lurch again, his breath stuttering as his senses heighten and all he can feel is Taka warm against his back.

But they can't stay there forever. As much as he enjoys the feeling of Taka against him, they have a time limit. And so, despite his inner desire, he lightly places his hands on Taka's and gently pries the fingers loose from his duster. Unable to help himself, he twines his left hand with Taka's right, his heart clenching at the feel of the chilled hand clasped within his own.

"Heh. Ya can let go now, kyoudai. We, uh... we're here. As much as I'd like ta let ya take yer time ta recover, we're on a bit of a schedule. Sun's 'bout ta set an' I wanna make sure ya see this. Okay?"

Mondo makes sure to keep his voice relatively loud, even though part of him wants to keep it soft. Something about this moment and this place makes him want to be almost reverent, but it can't be helped sadly. Taka's helmet would muffle his voice too much if he's not loud enough. His volume seems to have worked, though, since he can feel Taka nod against him and— a few moments later— feels the kid's arms stiffly let go of his chest. It makes him feel extremely bereft, but he doesn't try and pull the kid back. He just puts all his attention on Taka as the kid shakily tries to stand, part of him knowing what is going to happen when Taka puts weight on his trembling legs.

And sure enough, the second Taka manages to get off his baby, Mondo watches as the kid collapses. But Mondo was ready for it, had known it would happen, so he is right there to catch him, his arms wrapping tight, tight, /tight/ around a muscular and yet still slender waist, his heart fluttering like crazy in his chest as he feels the warmth against him. He was already hard from the ride— like he usually is after spending some time on his baby— and it gets worse having Taka against him like this. But that isn't something he can think about, so he pushes the thought aside and focuses on helping Taka.

When Taka struggles to remove his helmet, his hands shaking far too much to have any hope of doing such a thing, Mondo shifts the kid in his arms and does it for him. It's harder to do one handed than he'd like to admit, but it's not long before the helmet is off and he's able to see Taka's face unobstructed again, tossing the helmet carelessly over his shoulder, promptly forgetting about it.

And then Mondo feels his heart clench painfully the second he sees Taka's face without anything covering it, feeling like ice water was poured over his head, his fingers tingling with it. Up until this point, he'd been thinking that Taka had been enjoying the ride. He honestly has no idea why he thought that when Taka has never shown any indication before that he'd appreciate such a thing, and he's kicking himself now for his stupidity. Because as he takes in Taka's painfully wide eyes, his deathly pale skin, and the goddamn /tear tracks/ that trail his cheeks, he can immediately tell that Taka had not enjoyed that ride. Not at all. Not even a little.

Fuck, he is a goddamn /idiot/.

Heart drowning with the concern and regret he feels, Mondo hesitantly raises his free hand and cups Taka's frigid cheek in his warm palm, gently wiping the silvery trails away. Maybe he was too stupid to prevent them, but he can at least do his best to make up for his crime.

"Shit, Taka, yer fuckin' cryin'... shit, goddamnit, ya hated that, didn't ya? God fuckin' dammit, a' course ya did, I'm such a fuckin' moron, /Jesus/, shit! S-shit... uh, don't worry, I'll find a different way fer ya ta get back, ya don't have ta do that again, shit, kyoudai, I'm so fuckin' sorry-"

Mondo gets cut off by Taka laughing hysterically, the sound high pitched and very /wrong/. He's shaking his head desperately, but he's not saying anything, which just concerns Mondo more. Mondo keeps his eyes on Taka, wondering what he can possibly do to rectify things. He has no idea how to read his kyoudai's face right now, the kid looking so incredibly overwhelmed. Part of him thinks he sees /happiness/ in his blown eyes, in the upward tilt of his lips, but… that's ridiculous, right? Taka is very clearly unhappy with the ride, is terrified and maybe even angry with him for making him have done that.

… right?

"I- I wasn't- upset. I'm not... opposite, kyoudai. I feel... the opposite," Taka eventually manages to express, his voice bright and breathy and shining, and Mondo has no idea what to make of it. He's never heard Taka sound like that, and he's so concerned it's not funny. But then the words the kid said register, which just serves to confuse him further. He feels… the opposite? Of what… upset? What even is that? He's clearly not happy, so…

Mondo gets distracted when he feels Taka's face bury itself into his chest, and he figures it would be best to forget his confusion for now and just work on damage control. Even if Taka isn't actually upset, he's still clearly overwhelmed by everything and needs a few minutes to compose himself. Mondo isn't even worried about missing the sunset. Fuck the sunset. Taka is what matters. Only Taka.

Weaving careful fingers through Taka's longer than it used to be hair, Mondo waits out Taka's reaction, hoping that this hadn't just made things worse between them again. It takes about a minute— though fuck does it feel longer— but soon enough Taka is able to pull back, his legs no longer shaking as intensely as they had been. And the look on his face…

"I- I... M-Mondo, ky-kyoudai... I- I... I /adored that/," the kid eventually breathes, laughter bright in the words as he looks up at the sky, a look of such utter /amazement/ on his face. It shocks him fully to hear Taka say that, more so because the kid /isn't lying/. He isn't just saying that to make Mondo feel better, or because he is just so incredible that he wants to take Mondo's guilt away. No. Unless he is mistaken… Taka truly means that. And that…

His heart just about leaps out of his chest when Taka's eyes meet his again, full of such intense /happiness/ that Mondo legitimately cannot breathe. And when Taka leans up a moment later, pressing their foreheads together in the tender embrace that Mondo almost values more than hugs… he…

"T-/thank you/, kyoudai, for making me do that. I-it was terrifying and frightening, and I felt so scared, and I- and I've never felt more /alive/, and I... I... I understand now. Why you love that. Why you... I /understand/."

Taka laughs again, high, and happy, and bell-like, and this time… this time, Mondo laughs as well, the panic and self-admonishment in his heart fading as he realizes Taka /means this/. The kid had enjoyed the ride, like Mondo had hoped. He'd just… been overwhelmed by sensation at first, causing him to cry and tremble. Mondo understands. It can be so incredibly intense riding a hog. Especially for the first time. He's been riding for so long that he doesn't even remember what his first ride was like, but he's seen members of his gang take their girlfriends and various significant others out on their first ride enough times to know how overwhelming it can be. It relieves him intensely to know that this was the case with Taka. And to know that he /understands/… Jesus Christ, Mondo can't even describe how this feels. He does what he can to pull Taka closer to him, weaving his hand in the silky strands of the kid's hair again, staring into the most breathtaking eyes he's ever seen.

"Shit... fuck, Taka... Kiyo, /fuck/, I'm so happy ta hear ya say that... I fuckin' /knew/ ya'd love it, love the feelin', god, damn Kiyo, I..." Mondo breathes, before he presses somehow even /closer/ to his kyoudai. He can feel every breath the kid releases, every shudder and hitch of breath, every single little tremor. It makes his head go fuzzy, his body like a live wire, mind blanking as he feels warm puffs of breath assault him. His lips are tingling, so close to Taka's he should hate it, should be disgusted, should pull back and put back up his defenses, and- and…

But he doesn't. He just stands there, so impossibly close, and lets himself exist. And he thinks… he thinks…

/God… god, I want to kiss him so fucking bad…/

But he's not allowed to have thoughts like that. Not allowed to have /desires/ like that. Not only would Taka never want something like that with him, but…

He's not gay. He's just… not gay.

(_He's never wished he could be gay more, though. If it meant he could kiss Taka without issue, without problem… god, he's never wanted anything more._)

Despite what his body desperately wants to do, Mondo pulls back, smiling softly at the kid, his hands lowering to hold onto Taka's sides loosely. He can hear the kid gasp softly and he doesn't know what that means, but he figures it would be best to just… move on. After all… if the kid is alright and is even enjoying himself, then his idea of showing him the sunset over the lake might still be a good one. Swallowing thickly, he does his best to say something meaningful and not stupid.

"It's a fuckin' rush, ain't it, kyoudai? Gets yer heart pumpin', yer body singin', yer every nerve on fire an' /alive/. Shit is what I love the most 'bout my baby. Feelin' never quite goes away, no matter how often I get on her. I'm so fuckin' happy ya felt it too, you've got... got no fuckin' idea, shit..."

Mondo trails off unintentionally then, his eyes unfocusing as he feels an intense pressure in his chest when he thinks of Taka loving the ride, the feeling so foreign to him he has no idea how to begin to describe it. It's just… bright. And pure. And /happy, so very happy/. His mind is still swirling with stupid ideas and part of him longs to ignore the small hint of rationality he has and just /take/, but… well. He can't do that. And they are on a bit of a limited timeline here. Shaking his head subtly to clear it, he continues.

"Ah, shit, but we ain't got a lotta time... can ya walk, kyoudai? Guess I can carry ya if ya can't, but I really want ya ta see this. Alright, Kiyo?"

Mondo watches as Taka takes a deep breath and nods shakily, the small smile he's wearing so utterly incredible and heartbreakingly beautiful. Mondo honestly has no idea how Taka doesn't have a girlfriend (or boyfriend, he refuses to judge) already. He's literally the epitome of a perfect man. Beautiful, caring, kind, smart, considerate, surprisingly funny… like, damn. He's the whole goddamn package and Mondo has no idea how he's not taken. Anyone would be beyond lucky to have him. It's all he can do to smile back at the kid, eyes roaming his features, before remembering his fast-approaching deadline. If they wait too much longer, Taka won't be able to see the full extent of the sunset, and that would be a goddamn shame, honestly.

Mondo manages to tear himself away from Taka's side (reluctantly, so fucking reluctantly) and heads over to his baby to grab the basket he'd prepared earlier. It makes him smile to remember Taka's curiosity about the basket, his heart full and warm as he turns back and sees Taka staring at it curiously again, his thoughts so obvious on his face it makes him want to laugh. Instead, he just smirks and shakes his head.

"Not yet, ya nerd. Got somewhere ta be first. It'll take us a couple a' minutes ta walk there, but I think we should be able ta make it in time. C'mon, let's hurry. I'd hate fer ya ta miss this shit."

Mondo jerks his head in the direction they'll need to travel to get to the lake, gesturing with his hand for Taka to follow. Which Taka does quickly, looking as enthusiastic as ever, the absolute dork.

After the pair walks for several minutes in a peaceful silence, Mondo stops, recognizing how close they are and realizing he wants… he wants this to be a surprise. A proper surprise, too. He can feel Taka bump into him, clearly not expecting him to stop, and fuck is it cute. But he doesn't have time to focus on that, unfortunately. Not with this request he wants to make of Taka…

"Hey, Kiyo... do you... do you trust me?" Mondo questions hesitantly, looking deep into Taka's eyes. Part of him regrets asking, knowing that the kid prolly doesn't since it's not like he's done anything to earn that trust, especially after yesterday.

And yet… and yet, to his intense shock, Taka barely waits a second before expressing, with full enthusiasm, "yes, of course, kyoudai! With my life!"

The words make Mondo beam, happiness flooding through him, knowing the kid means it wholeheartedly. It also makes him feel strangely nervous, since he knows that he absolutely /cannot/ betray that precious as fuck trust. Not again. Never again.

"Heh, shit, I... shit. Then. Um. I want ya ta close yer eyes. I want this ta be a surprise. I won't let ya get hurt. I promise."

He watches in awe as Taka smiles brightly at him, the entire sun reflected on his face, before his eyes close without a hint of hesitation or unease. It makes Mondo laugh again, the bubbling feeling in his chest nearly overwhelming him. He pushes it down and reaches out to grab Taka's hand, everything in him swirling as he does it. He doesn't have to, but he twines their fingers anyway and begins to gently pull Taka along.

Taka follows without question, trusting Mondo so fully and thoroughly that he has no idea what to think for a moment. It's overwhelming in a way, to know that he has the full trust of the most special person he's ever met. He's never been a particularly gentle person, has always been more likely to break than to create (despite his stupid as fuck desire to do shit like that, to build and create and make instead of always destroying), and it terrifies him a little to know how fragile a thing like trust is. He almost broke it irreparably yesterday. He almost ruined this entire thing. How long can he keep this going before he does something stupid like that again? Before he ruins everything like he always ruins everything? And it's not an if, it's a when. Even if Mondo wishes it weren't.

But Mondo does his best to not think of it and pretty soon they've arrived at the lake. It takes Mondo's breath away like always, and god is it beautiful. The lake is surrounded by large, colorful trees, the purple and white mountain in the distance a striking and utterly beautiful contrast. The sun is setting over the mountain, casting the world in an orange and red glow, the lake reflecting it perfectly. There aren't many people here, since it's thankfully a well-kept secret, and Mondo feels everything inside him settle as he sees it.

But then he feels Taka shuffle behind him, and he remembers where he is and who he is with. Setting down the basket carelessly on the ground, Mondo disentangles his hand from Taka's (reluctantly, always reluctantly) and moves to stand behind him. He's not entirely sure why, just knows that it feels right. More right than anything else ever has. As is the way his hands come up to hold loosely on the kid's hips, electricity running through his veins at the very touch.

But he pushes that aside. It's easier that way.

"Alright... we made it in time. Now... open yer eyes, Kiyo. Yer gonna fuckin' /love/ this."

Mondo is fully attuned to Taka that he can hear the hitching of the kid's breath right before his eyes flutter open alluringly. Mondo literally cannot tear his eyes away from the side of Taka's face for the life of him, as he sees the kid's red eyes widen, his pink lips dropping open, his knees weakening and his body leaning back fully against Mondo's as he takes in the sight before him.

Mondo is transfixed as he lets his eyes rove Taka's face, wishing only partially that he were facing the kid so he could take in his entire expression. But he wouldn't trade what he currently experiences for the life of him. Holding Taka, feeling the way the kid's breath shudders as he leans against his chest, his hands burning as they grip warm and bony hips… f-fuck. He doesn't think there is anything better in life than this, honestly. Absolutely /nothing/.

_He doesn't even think sex would be this good. This incredible. This intoxicating._

Jesus Christ…

"Mondo... it... it's..."

The kid sounds astounded, his voice shaking just a touch. He leans back against him more, practically melting into his arms. It makes his heart full to burst and he can barely contain himself, everything in him begging him to say something. Anything. He has no idea what, but he just… he can't help saying something. And he- he wants Taka to know. What this place means. Why it's important. Why it means more than just being a beautiful place.

"Do ya like it, Kiyo?" Mondo whispers softly into his kyoudai's ear, feeling so much. So very much. "This place... it's prolly my favorite place in the world. My bro, he... he used ta take us here, when we were little. I'd run along the lake shore fer /hours/, catchin' fireflies in the summer an' swimmin' in the spring. I love it best in the autumn, though, the colors all bright an' shit. It never fails ta take my fuckin' breath away."

Mondo pauses, letting out a soft, shaky breath, before he continues, his voice unintentionally low and intimate. He doesn't know what he wants to say, still, but damn him if he says nothing.

"Daiya... Daiya would take us here when things got too much, when da would yell too loud, or ma would fall into yet another drunken slumber, fergettin' ta feed us. He'd make us some food, some shit sandwiches 'cuz he had no fuckin' idea how ta cook, but he wanted me ta have somethin' ta eat. And we'd sit here by the lake, just the two a' us, laughin' and havin' a great fuckin' time.

"It was a place just fer him an' me, ya know? I ain't ever brought anyone here, not the gang, no one. Ever since he- since Daiya died... this is the place I feel closest ta him. And I... I wanted to share that with you, Kiyo. My kyoudai. My soul brother. You... I wanted you to see this. Taka... /Kiyo/..."

Mondo wants Taka to know how important this place is to him. To know that this is more than a lake, that him taking Taka here is not /nothing/. This, right here? /This/ is how he wanted to show his apology to Taka. To show Taka how much he means to him above all else. How he never wants to leave him. How he… he…

_Loves him…_

Cares about him. Above all else. Like a brother. Of course, like a brother. Always like a brother.

He gets distracted from the feelings inside of him when he hears Taka's breath hitch in a very suspicious way. When he looks back down at Taka, not sure when he looked away, he can see silver tracks trailing down his face, making his heart clench painfully. But before he can do anything more than let out a soft noise of distress, he feels Taka take hold of his hand, twining them together and keeping him in place. Taka is still crying softly, but he doesn't seem distressed, just… overwhelmed again. And Mondo has learned by now that the kid cries at intense emotion, good or bad, so he figures maybe the kid is just- just… emotional. Mondo understands. He's feeling a bit emotional himself. Like fuck will he /cry/, though. Taka is allowed to cry, it ain't bad when he does it. But Mondo? Fuck no.

It still burns him inside. This feeling in his chest. It makes him want to do something stupid. To say something stupid. To turn Taka around in his arms and cradle his face in his hands, to look him deep in his absolutely stunning eyes, and tell him what he means to him. How he doesn't think there is anyone or anything on this planet that means more to him. How he would give up the whole world— would give up his /gang/- no, his /baby/— if it meant that Taka could be safe and happy and healthy. How he wants nothing more than Taka's happiness. How… how he… how he wishes…

_How he wishes he could be gay, if only so he could love Taka the way he desperately wants to love him._

He hadn't even known he felt half of that stuff before this moment, but as he holds Taka, watching the sunset together, hands entwined and bodies pressed so tightly together… closer than he's ever been to anyone, save only Daiya… he knows he means it. With his whole heart, does he mean it. He feels like he's holding onto the entire universe, like Taka means more than anything, and he wishes he could say this shit.

But… he can't. His throat is too thick, his chest is too achy, and everything is just too /much/. Like everything revolving around Taka, it's all so much. And he adores it, truly he does, but he knows that anything he says now will just come out all fucked up and wrong, and he doesn't want that. He would hate to ruin this beautiful as sin moment.

But, as the moments pass and Taka still is crying, he realizes he can't say nothing. He's always hated Taka's tears…

"Kiyo... are you okay? Shit... didn't... I didn't mean ta make ya cry. I fuckin'... I hate seein' ya cry. Always have, from that very first day. Think I'd do just 'bout anythin' ta make ya stop. Ta see yer fuckin' /beautiful/ smile. Taka... I... yer my brother, my /kyoudai/, an' I can't... can't bear ta..."

He hears Taka let out another sob, louder, and it breaks his heart. He wants to believe that Taka is happy, that his tears are just… tears of happiness, or something, but fuck… how can he /know/? If Taka is actually happy or if he's not? It's hard to tell with his kyoudai, sometimes, it truly is.

He can do nothing more than listen, heart aching, as Taka starts to speak, his voice soft as a whisper. It breaks his heart even more, for reasons he can't even begin to describe.

"I... I am okay, Mondo. Ky-kyoudai. I'm just... s-so happy! That you showed me this. It means... I cannot express what it means. No one has ever..." Taka takes a shuddering breath here, more tears leaking down his face as the kid tries to smile, though even from the side it's prolly the saddest fucking smile he's ever seen. Even with Taka saying he's happy, Mondo has no idea if it's true. It hadn't sounded like he was lying, but… fuck. Just… fuck.

Hoping to provide some measure of comfort, Mondo squeezes Taka's hand gently, rubbing his thumb in what he hopes to be a soothing manner over the back of it. He hears Taka let out a shaky laugh as he looks out at the sky, but before he can say anything, Taka continues.

"Since I have met you, k-kyoudai... my whole life has changed. You have done s-so much for me... more than anyone else. I will never be able to repay you. This... this was supposed to be /my/ repayment to /you/, and yet it is just yet another debt I will /never/ be able to repay. I- I... I will always be in your debt, kyoudai... forever, and-"

"Fuck, don't say that, man," Mondo blurts out, his heart aching so fucking bad. He has always disliked hearing Taka talk about repayment and shit, but he usually would just deal with it, thinking that it was just Taka's way of coping. But this… fuck, he /hates/ this. Hearing Taka compare this moment and their friendship with his family's fucking /debt/? The debt that fucking /killed his mother/? F-fuck… if he needed a confirmation that Taka is not happy, it's that. Feeling so fucking helpless, he presses his cheek firmly against Taka's— holds him somehow closer— and does his best to fix this. If such a thing is even possible to do. He knows he's going to fuck up his words, he /always/ fucks up his words, but hopefully- hopefully, he can do enough to at least help and get rid of Taka's devastating mentality.

"Don't say... like it's a /bad/ thing. Like... like I'm /forcin'/ ya ta be here, kyoudai... 'cuz- 'cuz I /want/ ta do this. Ta give ya gifts, an' take ya special places, an' make ya happy, an'... an' all a' it. I've never... since Daiya, I've never felt so close ta another person. Shit, s'only been two fuckin' weeks we've been brothers an' it feels like I've known ya my entire goddamn life. I ain't doin' this shit ta be repaid, or ta collect on it later, or shit like that. I do it 'cuz I wanna... I wanna see ya /happy/, god, ya look so fuckin' /beautiful/ when ya smile, happy an' unrestrained an' shit. That... that's how ya can repay me, kyoudai. By... by enjoyin' the time ya spend with me... an' if ya don't, then by throwin' me ta the fuckin' curb, 'cuz I want ya ta be happy. Even if it ain't with me, Taka..."

Mondo takes a shaky breath here, and presses even closer to Taka, needing to feel him, needing… needing…

"But... just... friendship... brotherhood... it ain't a fuckin' /transaction/. A fuckin' deal. It ain't pay and repay. It's fuckin'... give an' take. Ain't gotta be even, 'cuz who the fuck can measure that shit? When I say ya've repaid me, I fuckin' mean it, Kiyo. Seein' ya here, same place my bro an' I would spend fuckin' hours as kids... ya agreein' ta ride with me, understandin' me an' my world just a little... I can't even begin ta explain what that shit means ta me. What ya... s-so stop worryin' okay? Over repayin' me. I know... I know yer family's got that debt, but this ain't like that. Y'ain't ever gonna be in my debt. If anythin', I'm in yers. Heh... ain't like many people bother ta see the good in a fuckin' screw up like me, ya know? But ya... ya do. Ya see somethin' in me that, 'fore now, only Daiya did. Somethin' worthwhile. Somethin'... somethin' /good/. An' I don't fuckin' know why, but I'm too goddamn selfish ta keep pushin' ya away... ta keep- keep tryin'... shit..."

It gets harder for Mondo to breathe then, his chest so tight it feels like an elephant is standing on it. Everything he has said he has meant one hundred percent, more than he's ever meant anything before, but it's not /enough/, not nearly enough to explain what Taka means to him, how it's /Mondo/ who will always and forever be in /Taka's/ debt, who will never deserve someone as incredible as Taka, who is getting the much better end of the deal, who will be left behind one day when Taka realizes this but he can't even be upset with Taka about it because /it's what was always going to happen and/- fuck. Fuck. /Fuck/. Mondo lets out a laugh, shaky and weak, because it's either laugh or cry. Cry or laugh. And he knows which he has to choose.

After all.

Real men don't cry.

It's the one lesson he remembers most from his father.

"Yer the best goddamn thing ta ever happen ta me, Kiyo. Meetin' ya... 'fore that, s'like everything was just /noise/. A mix a' fightin' an' drinkin' an' anger. Ya made me wanna- wanna do better. Ta /be/ better. Ya looked at me, with the whole fuckin' sun in yer goddamn eyes, an' I... I started ta think maybe I wasn't as fuckin' worthless as I knew I was. Even with all the /shit/ I did ta ya... the things I called ya, slurs an' angry words an- an' shit like that... y-you still... still always looked at me like… and I... shit. Taka..."

Mondo wants to turn Taka around. To look him in the eyes as he says this, as he tells him just how much he means to him. He wants to hold Taka close, to press him firmly to his body, and never, ever let go. He wants to cradle Taka's face in his hands, and he wants to whisper his words directly into Taka's ear, and he wants to feel the shivers that go down Taka's spine when he hears them. He wants to let out all of the emotion that has been building inside of his chest all night, to show it to Taka, to show his entire fucking heart, knowing that Taka would never hurt it, never break it, would keep it safe forever and ever. He wants to… wants to…

Kiss Taka… to press him up against the nearest tree and claim those incredible lips as his own… to feel as Taka gasps against him, the sound tasting as good as he always imagined it would… to touch Taka, purposely, intimately, to hear as Taka moans because of what he is doing… he wants to claim Taka, /all of Taka/, right here on this lakeshore where he used to spend so much time with his brother, where he'd felt the happiest he ever had before meeting Taka… h-he wants to /make love/ to Taka, to /show/ him what he means, to express the emotion inside of him just a little, just a touch, just… just… h-he wants… he /wants/-

Mondo is broken from his rapidly spiraling thoughts when he feels Taka rip himself out of his arms, like he can't bear to be held by him a second longer, like he can't stand touching him. And oh, /god/ does it hurt. He feels so off kilter right now, his heart aching and breaking and /yearning/, and he has no idea why he just had those thoughts but he can't push them away, even though he /knows Taka would never want that, knows he'd never desire him that way, Taka prolly isn't even gay, Mondo is just delusional and seeing things that aren't there, but even if he were why would he want a fuck up like Mondo, a fucking criminal biker, when he could have his pick of anyone, he's so fucking amazing, so fucking incredible, so fucking perfect/-

Mondo's thoughts get cut off yet again when he feels a warm body slam into him, taking what little breath he still had away. The kid is pressed up so fucking tight to his chest it's like he wants to crawl up inside him, and for one second, Mondo wonders if Taka could feel that way. If he could want Mondo like that, if he could /desire/ him like that. If he could want him. If he could /love him/. It's ridiculous to think about, of course Taka would never feel that way for him, he cares about him like a brother at most, and it's not like Mondo is gay so he wouldn't even be able to feel these things in return, but. But. For this moment. For this one, single, shining moment. With Taka in his arms, and the sight of Daiya's lake bathed in golden sunlight before him, and his heart aching and breaking and yearning…

He wonders. If they could have this. If they could ever be allowed to have this.

But the moment passes. And Mondo realizes how stupid he is being. Because he's not gay. And even if Taka is (_and Mondo is fairly certain he is_), he'd never love Mondo. Not like that. Mondo just… isn't worthy.

Letting out a soft laugh to try and dispel all the weird fucking thoughts and emotions, he wraps his arms around the kid, holding him as tight as he dares, telling himself that this is all he wants. This is all he desires. To see Taka happy, to hold him and know that he's safe. Like Daiya would hold him, after their da would beat him black and blue and bloody, and Mondo would wonder if there was anyone on this earth who could love a disgusting creature like him. He… he /loves/ Taka, he knows he does, it's so bright inside his chest. But it's like a brother. Only ever like a brother. Nothing more. Nothing ever more.

It can't be.

"S-so... so yeah, kyoudai. Don't wanna hear ya say shit like that again, okay? 'Bout repayin' me. Y'ain't gotta. Never. Ain't gotta pay me a goddamn thing. Ya understand? Kiyo?"

He says the words softly. Quietly. Intimately. Just to hammer home what he needs Taka to understand. Just to make sure the kid /knows/, deeply and truly and really, that he will never owe Mondo a goddamn thing. Not now. Not ever.

Like he had kind of expected, he feels as the kid starts to shake, the sobs muffled by Mondo's chest, but still audible in the silent forest. He doesn't mention it, though, and just shushes the kid, doing all he can to be soothing and gentle. He whispers into his ear words of admiration and adoration and /love/. He doesn't tell Taka that in so many words, but he tells him how amazing he is. How incredible. How Mondo is constantly amazed that they are friends. How Mondo thinks the world of Taka. So, while he doesn't say his love directly, he hopes that Taka can feel it regardless.

His brotherly love, of course.

Mondo has no idea how much time passes as he holds and gently rocks Taka, only that the sun has begun to slip further below the horizon, the world now bathed in the beginnings of twilight. It's not quite night and not quite sunset, but god is it beautiful in its own right. All pinks and purples and burgundies… fuck. It's incredible.

Not as incredible as Taka, he concedes, once Taka pulls back and looks up at him with wide, watery eyes, so painfully beautiful it hurts. But it's a good hurt. A wonderful hurt. And when Taka smiles…

"S-sorry... a-aha... d-don't know why I'm crying..." Taka whispers softly, his voice a little shot from the tears. Helpless to stop it, Mondo lifts his hand and cups the kid's cheek, gently wiping the tears away. It seems to overwhelm Taka even more, his eyes getting shinier again, and Mondo's heart feels like putty. Wanting to help the kid, to let him know it's /okay/, he does his best to reassure.

"Adrenaline crash. Happens after ridin' a hog sometimes, 'specially fer the first time. Ain't nothin' ta worry 'bout, kyoudai. Still. Gotta 'nother surprise fer ya. This one ain't much, kinda fuckin' sucks, but... well. Hope ya like it."

Mondo almost smiles at the gobsmacked look on his kyoudai's face, but the nerves within him are a bit too strong for that. And when Taka pulls back, he almost says 'fuck it' to his plan of a fucking /picnic/ and just pulls the kid back into his embrace, where he wants Taka to always, always be. But that would be stupid, so he doesn't.

Instead, he just heads back to the basket he dropped and promptly forgot about earlier and begins taking everything out. He starts with the blanket, since… /duh/, and carefully places it on the ground, nearly as meticulous as Taka, needing it to be perfect for his perfect kyoudai. Then he removes the food, carefully avoiding the wine and glasses because… because. Only once he has everything else out does he take out the bottle of wine and the glasses, eyeing Taka with faux casualness from the corner of his eye. The kid doesn't react though, not at all, so Mondo allows himself to relax as he finishes setting everything up.

By the time Mondo is done, the twilight has fully set in, the sun barely visible at all, the sky a deep fuchsia type color, with darker purples and blues mixed in. It's beautiful, almost more beautiful than the sunset, but it's not nearly as beautiful as Taka, watching him with rapt, wide eyes. He smiles at the kid, holding out his hand to entice the kid over to the blanket.

"C'mon, kyoudai... let's eat."

And Mondo smiles as Taka does what he always seems to do, for reasons that Mondo still has not— and likely never will— figure out.

He follows Mondo.

Taking a careful seat on the blanket, the kid sits daintily, and Mondo has to force his eyes away as he fiddles with the food he brought, his heart racing strangely. While he knows this absolutely is /not/ one, he can't quite force the thought he'd had earlier today that this feels like- like a /date/ out of his head. That he'd been preparing for a date, and now he and Taka are currently out on one. And it's stupid! Ridiculous! Insane! He and Taka are kyoudai and /only/ kyoudai, right? He has no ulterior motives marring his intentions here, he swears.

And yet… as he grabs a sandwich and holds it out to Taka with a sheepish smile, his insides more fucked up than they've ever been before… he can't stop the thought. The idea. The /desire/.

(Mondo has been on a couple dates before. Back when he had Daiya to help him out, as embarrassing as that was. None of them meant even a fraction of what Taka means to him. He doesn't even remember their faces, let alone their names. Mondo doesn't think he'll ever forget what Taka looks like in this moment, his eyes wide and so full of emotion. He would never have brought a single one of those chicks here to Daiya's lake. He doesn't think he will ever bring a chick to Daiya's lake. This is a place just for him and his bro, after all.

And now Taka. Always, forever Taka.)

This isn't a date. It can't be a date; Taka wouldn't want this to be a date. They are friends. Brothers. Kyoudai. This could never, ever be a date.

_God, does he wish it could be, though._

Handing Taka a sandwich he thinks the kid will like— a turkey sandwich with lettuce and tomato— he pushes the thoughts out and does his best to smile.

"They, uh... they're prolly shit, ain't exactly an expert at making sandwiches, but here. If ya... ya want. Brought yer usual food too, in case ya fuckin' hate it. Don't want ya ta go hungry, bro."

He watches with rapt eyes as Taka takes the sandwich with slightly shaking hands, his smile so fucking bright it makes his heart skip a fucking beat to see it. And when Taka takes a bite, his eyebrows furrowed, his lips turned down into a contemplative frown… Mondo finds he can't breathe, too focused on wondering if Taka likes it or not to focus on anything else. Taka's face is revealing nothing, though, not enjoyment or disgust, making Mondo incredibly nervous, fuck.

"You... uh. Ya like it?" Mondo asks nervously, trying to play it off as casual, though he has a feeling he fails at that. But it's alright, because then Taka is smiling and nodding enthusiastically. Like he always does, goddamn…

"This is the best sandwich I have ever had! Thank you so much, kyoudai!"

The words are like music to his ears, soothing the worries he's been having all day. He'd been so concerned that Taka would hate it, that he'd think Mondo was stupid for wanting to make them a fucking /picnic/, of all things, but hearing Taka say that… not a hint of a lie in his words… shit. It's so fucking amazing… he can't stop the wide grin he gets, he truly can't.

"Really?! Shit man... Daiya was always the one ta make the food when I was a kid, an' nowadays I mostly just get takeout an' shit, so I ain't had much practice. I, uh... I'm glad ya like it. Shit, here, take this," Mondo blurts, suddenly remembering the wine he'd brought. He knows he shouldn't, knows the kid wouldn't want it, but he opens the bottle anyway and pours a healthy amount of the alcohol into each glass. He hands one to Taka hesitantly, which the kid takes without a hint of hesitation. It makes Mondo concerned, but Taka doesn't seem unhappy… it's hard to tell though, with how fast the sun is setting, the world a bit too dark for him to see Taka's face properly. Shit, he knew he forgot something… candles would help so fucking much right now… "Shit, prolly shoulda brought some candles, s'gettin' pretty fuckin' dark... heh..."

Despite the dark, he thinks he can see Taka looking down into the glass, a small frown on his lips, cheeks lightly flushed. The kid pauses for a beat, just looking at the alcohol, before he hesitantly takes a sip. And then-

"Ack!" Taka exclaims, coughing at the small sip he'd taken. Mondo hurriedly grabs the glass while letting out a soft curse, not wanting Taka to spill the wine all over himself. It takes the kid a moment, but soon he is over his coughing fit and giving him a grateful smile, before turning the most adorable glare at the glass of wine that Mondo is now holding.

"That!" Taka exclaims, huffing indignantly, "is the worst tasting thing that I have ever had the misfortune of drinking!"

Mondo has a moment in which he just stares at Taka with wide eyes, uncertain how he's supposed to react. But then he takes in the indignant look on his kyoudai's face and his wrinkled nose, and he can't help it. He bursts into laughter, putting the glasses of wine down to prevent himself from spilling them. He doesn't mean to laugh so hard, he really doesn't, but just… it's so fucking absurd, all of it. Taka taking a sip of wine and absolutely despising it. The look on the kid's face. The warmth and buoyancy in his chest. Just… all of it. Fucking… all of it.

"God fuckin' dammit, Kiyo," Mondo chuckles several moments later, grinning bright and happy at Taka, his eyes practically glowing in the dark. "Yer so goddamn precious. Heh. Guess y'ain't a wine man, huh? Yeah, me neither honestly. Don't know why I fuckin' brought it, heh... know y'ain't the type ta drink it, 'specially since we're too young… just felt like it fit... heh..."

Mondo trails off then, his cheeks feeling warm, but not uncomfortably so. He used to hate being embarrassed in front of other people, his anger and rage rising to counter the mortification of being embarrassed in public. But here, with Taka… it's not so bad. Knowing the kid can see his embarrassment. He knows Taka won't tease him for it. The kid prolly won't even mention it. Mondo… Mondo appreciates that about him. Daiya always would, after all. Tease him. It was lighthearted and he wasn't ever cruel about it, but it always made Mondo so self-conscious. But Taka… he doesn't do shit like that. He's just so… so…

Fucking perfect… goddamn…

Mondo looks across the lake as the sun finally sets for good, needing to compose himself after everything. As he looks, he can hear the sounds of laughter on the breeze, barely able to see some campers lighting fires on the other side of the lake. Logically, he knew they couldn't be the only people at the lake, since it is a fucking gorgeous lake not far from a major city, but he couldn't give a shit about them. He has eyes only for Taka, after all. As such, he looks back at the kid and feels his heart swell and he just… fucking can't handle this shit, but fuck does he try.

Before long, they are eating the food Mondo had prepared, relative silence around them as the moon rises in the sky, nearly full and giving them enough light to eat by. He can see enough of Taka to make out his adorable fucking expressions, and he just… fuck. He doesn't have words to describe how incredible this moment is. Taka prolly would, he's so fucking smart, a genius in his own right, and it just makes his heart swell even more. Everything about this moment feels so perfect to Mondo and he has no idea how to handle it. God, he just… doesn't.

At one point, when they're nearly done with eating, he sees Taka staring at the stars with an enraptured expression on his face, his eyes wide and his lips smiling softly. It makes Mondo smile, and he can't help but ask again if the kid likes it. He thinks Taka does, thinks he's enjoying himself, but for all Taka masquerades as an open book, he's surprisingly hard to read at times. Like now, sadly… his eyes are bright, and his lips are smiling, but there's something beneath the surface that Mondo cannot help but see. He has no idea what it is, but it makes him oddly anxious, and he can't help but wonder if… if Taka is alright or not.

"Heh... always loved seein' the stars out here. Far enough from the city ta not get the light pollution, ya know? Ain't nothin' like it in the world. Do ya... do ya like it, kyoudai?" Mondo finds himself muttering, looking at the kid from the corner of his eye. He watches as Taka blinks, before looking at him with a blinding smile. Jesus Christ…

"Y-yes... yes, my kyoudai! I've never seen the stars so bright before! It's, uh... pulchritudinous!"

What… the fuck…?

Mondo blinks in question at the fucking nonsense word Taka just spouted, humor bubbling inside his chest at Taka's bright red cheeks and absolutely adorable embarrassment. God, he loves this kid… like a brother. Duh.

"The absolute fuck does that shit mean?"

While he knows the words could be seen as harsh and cruel, he hopes Taka can hear the complete and utter affection he feels for him in his words. Judging by the soft laugh the kid huffs, he thinks he does.

"I-it, um... means beautiful. I was trying to find a word that accurately describes how I'm feeling, and- and I don't know if I can... kyoudai..."

Mondo laughs softly, understanding exactly what the kid means. He has no idea how to describe this moment either. Just that it's shining and bright and… everything. Fucking everything.

"Heh, yeah, me too, bro. Me... me too..."

They lapse back into silence then as they continue to eat the rest of the food, and before long everything is gone. Even the rice balls and chicken, which Mondo had tried finally and decided he likes a lot. While it's just rice balls and chicken, he can tell that the kid is pretty good at cooking, as it was really good despite being super simple. He understands why the kid eats it all the time now.

It's as he watches the kid eat the last bite of his food that he remembers the 'cookies' he had made and— before he can talk himself out of it— he's reaching into the basket and pulling them out. His cheeks feel red hot, but he does his best to smile at the kid, hoping his nerves aren't that noticeable.

"U-uh... got one last thing, kyoudai. Prolly ain't good, taste like dog shit, didn't have the time ta taste 'em 'fore I had ta get ya, but... heh, shit, never mind, I-"

"Mondo," the kid interrupts gently, leaning closer to him and gently touching his hand, making him jolt, "whatever it is I am sure I will love it. If it comes from you... I know I will."

The words cause electricity to flow through Mondo and for one second, he can almost pretend that Taka means more by that statement than an innocent affirmation. That maybe Taka… that he…

But it's stupid, so he pushes it aside. He can't stop the bright smile, though. He can't ever stop that, not when he's with Taka.

"S-shit... okay. I- okay. They're, uh... cookies. Or they're supposed ta be. They don't quite look right, all misshapen an' shit, but, uh... ain't never made shit like this 'fore, not sure why I did now, heh..."

Mondo is holding the bag in his hands, practically cradling them, feeling more self-conscious than he ever has, he's sure. He doesn't know why he is doing this, why he hadn't just left the fucking things in the basket, or— better yet— just threw them away earlier since they're clearly crap. He kind of wants to throw them into the lake, consequences be damned, and forget the whole thing entirely.

Before he can even think to do anything, however, he feels Taka dart forward and grab the bag from his hand, causing him to blink owlishly at the uncharacteristically bold move from the Hall Monitor. He can see Taka smiling gently at him, which… just about shorts out his brain, really. The kid then opens up the baggie, takes one out and immediately brings it up to his lips to take a bite. Usually, the kid will examine the things he eats, give them a critical look. Even the things he makes for himself tend to get that treatment, he's noticed. But not Mondo's fucking 'cookie,' he guesses… s-shit…

After a moment in which Taka's face is a bit frozen, his jaw moving slowly behind his lips, Mondo realizes he can't take it and asks the question that he is dying to ask.

"... w-well? Uh... does it suck?"

He watches as the kid starts chewing more purposely then, his eyebrows furrowed and his lips twitching. While Taka can be hard to read when he's being all contemplative and shit like this, Mondo doesn't think he is wrong to say that Taka… Taka absolutely /does not/ like what he is eating. Shit. God fucking dammit…

Another handful of moments pass before Taka turns to him and smiles so brightly his eyes crinkle with it, taking Mondo's breath away for the thousandth time that night. Holy shit…

"It was not, uh, bad! Very, er... bracing! Are they, uh... chocolate chip?" Taka asks, sounding hesitant. Something about it makes him laugh and rub his neck, feeling vaguely self-conscious, but not necessarily in a bad way.

"Uh... yeah. They're my favorite. Borin', I know, but they were the one cookie ma knew how ta make. Back when she... when she still cared, heh... Daiya would make 'em for me sometimes, an' they always tasted like /shit/, but I still loved 'em. Ate every goddamn bite."

The memory makes Mondo laugh again, and before he can stop himself, he reaches out and grabs one of his 'cookies.' He could tell that the kid was lying about liking the cookie, but he might as well try one himself. Especially since he made his poor kyoudai try it first. He gives the cookie a suspicious look, sniffing it critically, before saying 'fuck it' and popping the thing into his mouth whole. And then-

"Ugh! That's fuckin' disgustin'!" he exclaims, spitting the cookie out into his hand immediately, feeling so fucking disgusted. Not only is it clearly burnt, but it tastes like shit regardless. He guesses he didn't stop the salt mix up in enough time to rectify the batter, then. Shit. Goddamnit, why the /fuck/ did he go and give this shit to Taka?! God fucking damn, he wouldn't give this shit to just worst enemy, let alone his perfect as fuck kyoudai! This whole day was supposed to be an /apology/, and how can he fucking apologize if he gives his kyoudai garbage like this?! God, /what the fuck is wrong with him, Jesus fucking Christ/-

Mondo gets distracted from his self-deprecating thoughts when he hears Taka… giggle?

Mondo looks up at Taka, his eyebrows furrowed as a small measure of hurt fills his heart. He… he wouldn't have thought Taka would /laugh at him/ for messing up… he always thought Taka was too kind for that, what the fuck… but as he takes in Taka's bright eyes and wide smile, his face practically luminescent in the dark… well. He has a feeling that the kid isn't making fun of him but is just… finding humor in this quite honestly hilarious situation. And while he is still embarrassed, it's easier to handle when faced with Taka's million-watt smile…

"You... you're absolutely incredible. Did you know that, kyoudai? Absolutely... amazing..."

The words embarrass him more, his cheeks heating up as he rubs the back of his neck awkwardly again (the spit up 'cookie' getting tossed carelessly behind him). Trying to dispel the awkwardness, he laughs and shrugs, hoping the kid doesn't see just how awkward he truly is. He's spent so many years building up his reputation as a 'cool and tough biker dude' that he honestly forgets himself sometimes just how socially awkward he truly is. Usually, he'd just hit someone when he would start feeling this way, or else start yelling and making a scene, but seeing as how he's with Taka, he definitely can't do that, hell no. Guess he'll just have to fucking live with it… but this does prove that he ain't 'amazing' or 'incredible' or shit like that. Definitely not…

"Heh, no I ain't... these cookies fuckin' suck, shit, sorry kyoudai... I shoulda tried 'em first, shouldn't a'... shouldn't a' made ya eat that shit-"

"I liked them," Taka interrupts, his words earnest and frank. Mondo blinks at the earnestness, before giving the kid a disbelieving look, snorting and shaking his head. While he hadn't been able to detect a lie, clearly the kid was just trying to make him feel better. Which is bullshit, Mondo ain't a fucking pussy, he can handle this shit like a fucking man, Christ.

"Y'ain't gotta fuckin' lie ta me, kyoudai, I can take it like a man. They fuckin' suck an' I-"

"I'm not. Lying. I mean it, Mondo. I like your cookies," Taka interrupts again, moving closer to him and gently putting his hand atop Mondo's, eyes full of intent and purpose. It's all Mondo can do to stare back, feeling so fucking shocked. Because… shit. The kid really ain't lying… "I would never lie to you, kyoudai... never."

A charged silence falls between them, then, as they stare intently at one another, no words uttered. The sounds of the forest are echoing around them, a quiet hint of laughter on the breeze, but Mondo pays them no mind. Not when all his attention is on his fucking perfect kyoudai…

"Shit, kyoudai... I... shit..."

They're so fucking close right now. Mondo can see every lash along Taka's beautiful as sin eyes, the gentle moonlight making everything feel dreamy and soft. He can feel Taka's hand still atop his and he finds himself shifting his hand to twine their fingers together, helpless to stop the desire. And oh, does he feel desire. So much fucking desire. There's a part of him that wants so badly to lean in the last remaining centimeter and just… press his lips against Taka's. To claim those lips like he's wanted to do all night, to push Taka down to lie on the blanket and lay claim to his fucking gorgeous body. He wants to run his fingers up and down Taka's naked side, wants to kiss every last inch of him, wants to make Taka a squirming mess under his careful ministrations. He wants… dear /god/ does he want…

But he can't. Have. He- he's not allowed to have.

So, he pushes aside the stupid desire and pulls away from Taka, chuckling softly as he looks out at the lake, his heart aching inside his chest. He can see a frozen look on Taka's face, and he has no idea what to make of it, no idea at all. He feels so fucked up inside and all he knows is that he doesn't want to ruin this shit. He just… he fucking can't.

Throat oddly thick, he looks back to Taka— unable to help himself like always— and makes an offer he knows he prolly shouldn't but is helpless to stop. Like so many things with Taka.

"Heh. C'mere, kyoudai. Let's watch the stars, okay?"

Mondo shifts subtly, holding his arms open in invitation, his heart pounding in his chest. It gets worse when he feels Taka slot into his arms without any hesitation or comment, fitting into the space between them perfectly. Mondo wraps one arm tight around Taka's waist to keep him secure, while his other arm holds them up as he maneuvers them into a reclined position. While he knows he won't be able to hold the position forever, he trusts his strength enough to know that he can maintain it for quite some time. And he doesn't regret the position, not when he can feel Taka's heat pressed against him, so fucking good it's not even funny. It makes his stomach do weird little twists, which should feel uncomfortable, but it doesn't. Instead, it just feels… pleasant. So fucking pleasant, Christ…

Forcing his eyes off Taka, Mondo looks at the sky, eyes tracing the stars he's seen so often, yet knows barely anything about. He feels a desperate desire inside him to look at Taka again, to forget the stars entirely and just spend the entire time staring at his kyoudai, but he knows how ridiculous that is. He- he can't do that kinda shit. He's already done so much shit he's not supposed to do today, he- he… he can't do that as well. He just fucking /can't/.

As the pair stare up at the stars together, the pressure inside Mondo builds and builds, making him start to panic a little. He feels so fucking much inside his chest and he has no idea what to make of any of it. He… he loves Taka. He knows this, had figured this out earlier and he /knows/ he loves the kid. With everything he has in him, he loves Taka.

But… Jesus, it's not /like that/. All of these weird ass thoughts, all of these baffling desires… they're not /real/. He doesn't actually want to /make love/ to Taka, fuck no! Why would he? Taka is his kyoudai. His best and dearest friend. His best and dearest /male/ friend, at that. Mondo isn't gay, so he can't fucking want the kid in that way. And yes, he can acknowledge that Taka is objectively gorgeous, with his intensity and his passion and his eyes and his… everything. Anyone could see that, though! He's sure of it!

It does feel awfully nice, though… holding Taka. Feeling the kid against him as they just… exist together, watching the fucking stars. The kid is being quieter than usual, but Mondo doesn't think much of it. It's a quiet moment. A good one. One that he can't fucking ruin by being all weird, goddamn.

Why… why is he even thinking about shit like that? About kissing his kyoudai; about /fucking/ his kyoudai? It doesn't make sense to him. He /knows/ he doesn't feel that way about the kid. He knows it. So… why? Why does he have these weird fucking thoughts and desires?

The only thing that Mondo can figure— as he stares up at the sky, Taka leaning heavily against him, everything inside of him feeling so fucking off— is that he just… is confused. Right? He must be confused. He's never been so close to someone who isn't family before. And while he knows he views the kid like a little brother, maybe… maybe his head and his dick are just… confused? After the thing with Hina and Sakura, learning that their relationship wasn't as platonic as he'd thought, he guesses his brain just got some wires mixed up and figured that /he/ must feel like that, too. For Taka.

It makes sense. Being so close to someone, loving them so dearly… it makes sense that he'd get confused. Heh. He's never been so close to someone that he wasn't related to by blood, has never had a real girlfriend. No wonder his body is confused. It doesn't mean anything. These feelings. These thoughts. These desires. It doesn't mean he /actually/ wants that with Taka. It doesn't mean that he actually wants to feel him under him, writhing in pleasure. It doesn't mean that he actually wants to kiss those rough and coarse looking lips. It doesn't mean that he's /in love/ with the kid. He just… he wants… something. Intimacy, maybe. Closeness. And his body is confusing the platonic intimacy he shares with Taka with something more. Something it isn't.

If Mondo were to get a girlfriend, he's sure that these weird ass feelings for the kid would go away. He just… doesn't particularly feel like trying to get a girlfriend at the moment, that's all. It's stressful, you know? And what he has with Taka… that's easy. Simple. He can ignore these weird ass feelings just fine, thanks. What he feels for Taka is stronger than the nonsense his mind is making him think. Why make himself depressed and angry about how he can't get a girlfriend when he has his kyoudai to focus on? He doesn't need a girlfriend. Not when he has Taka.

Shit, this is all pointless. These thoughts and feelings… they don't matter. They're like his anger. They don't make sense, they are just confusing, and they're threatening to ruin everything he and Taka have built together. And… and…

And even if they were. Real, you know. Even if he were gay— could /switch and become gay/— and he actually did want Taka in that way…

It wouldn't even matter. Taka… Taka could /never/ love him. Not the way he'd want to be loved. If he were gay, that is. Taka is so fucking good. So fucking bright and brilliant and just… incredible. /Perfect/, like he calls the kid all the time, though the word doesn't even come close to encompassing all that the kid is. Yes, the kid has flaws. He knows that; he's not stupid. Taka is insecure and socially awkward and can be kinda callous at times. But that… it's just part of him. Part of the whole. It doesn't take away from his overall perfection.

How could someone like that love someone like Mondo? Mondo is so far from perfect it's not even funny. He's done so many bad, horrible, terrible things… if Taka found out about even a fraction of them, he… well. He'd be disgusted. Like Mondo himself is disgusted by some of the things he's done. Taka, the Ultimate Moral Compass… he could never love him after all of the shit he has done. Mondo is lucky he even has the kid as a kyoudai. He's not stupid enough to dare imagine he could ever get anything more. And besides. Taka is still going to leave one day. Mondo has never forgotten that, not ever. Not even for a second. Taka will realize how unworthy Mondo is, and he… he will leave him. This is inevitable. It has always been inevitable, and there's no reason to be upset by it. Sometimes people just leave. It happens.

So… he will enjoy being around his kyoudai without worrying about these weird ass thoughts or imagined feelings. He has enough to worry about to worry about this, too. The feelings aren't real, he doesn't actually want to do shit like that with Taka, and it's fine. It's fine. It's completely and totally /fine/.

With that settled, Mondo contents himself to gazing at the sky, allowing the swell of emotion inside him to dissipate as something a hell of a lot calmer takes its place. He can still feel some measure of confusion inside of his heart, but ultimately, he knows it doesn't matter. He's not gay, but even if he were, he'd have no chance with someone like Taka. So, why worry about it, right? If everything is hopeless and he has no chance regardless… why let it ruin what he has?

He holds onto Taka's hand— since the kid had apparently grabbed his at some point during his musing— and he lets his thoughts wander. He doesn't really think much of anything, though. Instead, he just… exists, he guesses. Holding onto Taka, their hands entangled, knowing that he'll have to learn to live without this one day, but… that day is not today. He hopes. God, does he hope. And maybe… if he's lucky… it won't happen for a while.

Eventually, Mondo's arm starts to cramp and grow a bit strained, after holding them up for so long. Plus, he notices that Taka is a bit stiff and trembling, which reminds him that it's getting a bit cold. Mondo has always run a bit warmer, plus his duster is really quite warm, so the cold doesn't bug him much, but he knows the kid feels it a lot more than he does. And so, despite how little he wants to, he finds himself shifting and moving to whisper into Taka's ear, thinking it might be best to end this and let them get back to their room to maybe watch another movie. Or… his room, heh. His room. Not theirs. His. Right…

"Hey... Taka. We should, uh... we should prolly head back. S'gettin' late. Got school tomorrow, an' I know how important that shit is ta ya. We can... heh. We can come back here sometime, if ya'd like. Just you an' me. I gotta bring ya here in summer, shit's fuckin' /magical/, with the fireflies an' all. God, ya'll love it in the summer... heh. But uh... we'll be back. I know we will. So… c'mon. Let, uh... let's go."

Mondo moves to sit up then, frowning a little when he notices that Taka is a bit delayed in his movement. He also has a kind of… dazed? look on his face. He smiles at the kid, not sure what else he should do, and feels a spike of worry fill him when the kid gives him one of his painfully fake smiles. The ones he used to use all the time back when he first arrived at Hope's Peak and would avoid everyone. H-he's not seen one of those smiles since they became friends, what the fuck? But then the kid relaxes his face, and the smile turns more genuine, so… he guesses maybe it was a trick of the light or something? Yeah… prolly that, heh. He can't help the unease that fills him, though, wondering what the hell is going on. Why… why would Taka be all stiff again? It doesn't make sense, and as Taka nods, not quite as enthusiastic as usual, he determines he will just push it aside. If something is wrong, Taka would tell him. Right? Right. Forcing himself to feel relieved, even if he can't quite force the niggling worry away, he focuses on Taka and not on anything else.

"Y-yes, k-ky-kyoudai. We should- should get going. Aha... it's g-getting cold!"

Ah. Maybe… maybe he's just cold then? He has always known the kid dislikes the cold more than he does. With a small laugh, he moves forward and pulls the kid into his arms, rubbing his arms up and down briskly.

"Heh, shit, yer right man. S'fuckin' cold as shit. Let's warm ya up, then, an' head back. Okay?" he mutters softly to his kyoudai, his stomach clenching at the blankness inside Taka's eyes before he can cover it with a laugh and a not-quite-enthusiastic-enough nod of his head. Something… something feels /wrong/, but Mondo has no idea what. Taka had been enjoying their picnic, right? And he doesn't think the kid would have anything against star gazing, right? So… what the fuck could have happened to make the kid grow stiff around him again? Unless…

But no. /No/, definitely not. There is no way the kid could have any idea of what he'd been thinking. He- he'd been so fucking /careful/ to keep his thoughts to himself, fuck! There's no way the kid could have noticed anything. He knows for a fact he'd not gotten hard at any point, so Taka couldn't have felt anything. And… and he can't think of what else he could have done to make Taka aware of the nonsense he'd been thinking of, so it fucking /can't/ be that. It just… can't.

(Though… this is a good reminder of why such thoughts are fucking stupid as shit. Even if Taka doesn't know what Mondo had been thinking of, he has no doubt that the kid would react negatively if he ever figured it out. Not that there is anything to figure out, shit! Just… you know what he means. That's why it's best to just ignore it all. It doesn't matter. It… it has never mattered, and it never will matter. Clearly.)

Anyway, Mondo pulls back from the kid soon and starts putting the shit from the picnic away, ignoring his unease like he always does. He dumps the wine out into a nearby bush, darting a glance at Taka to see if he's upset by it, but the kid doesn't seem to be paying attention. He's just staring out across the lake, body unnaturally still, looking almost like a statue. Or like a celestial being. Ethereal and shit. It's… prolly fine. Right? Right.

Clearing the rest of the picnic doesn't take long, thankfully. He doesn't see any trash cans nearby, so he puts the trash into the basket again and figures he will just toss it when they get back. Usually, he'd just dump it on the ground, but he has a feeling Taka wouldn't like that much. Well… if the kid were paying attention, that is.

Once the area is clean and clear, he starts walking back to his baby, the kid following after him like a lost duckling. He doesn't know if Taka realizes it, but his face is kind of… frozen. It doesn't look unhappy, necessarily, but just… not natural. Part of Mondo wants to call the kid out and ask if he's alright, but he doesn't want to alienate him. Maybe he's just tired. He was off this morning too, right? All lethargic and tired and shit. Maybe whatever was wrong then has come back. Since Taka was resistant to help then, maybe… maybe he should just give the kid some space and hope he will come to him if it becomes too much? Yeah. Sure. Let's go with that…

Still feeling off but doing his best to move the fuck on, Mondo puts the basket back into his side storage before heading to where he'd thrown the helmet. He picks it up, wipes off the dirt as best he can, and gently places it on Taka's head. Taka says nothing as he does it, just stares at him with wide, somewhat dispassionate eyes. The concern threatens to choke Mondo, but he pushes it down and smiles at the kid again, hoping that it gets better soon. If not… shit. He'll burn that bridge should they get to it, thanks.

Mounting his baby is easier this time, the kid seeming to finally realize that the hog isn't as tall as he thought it to be. Taka also wraps his arms tight around his waist without any complaint, which helps settle him more. See, it's not that bad, right? Taka's prolly just tired. That's all.

He still feels the usual rush when he starts driving, which helps to completely dissipate the weird funk he'd entered earlier. It's always nice to ride his baby in the frigid night air, the chill assaulting him in the best way. It always makes him feel so fucking alive.

They sadly do hit traffic about halfway back to Hope's Peak, which is always frustrating as fuck. The kid doesn't seem bothered by it and just squeezes him tighter, which Mondo thinks is his way of comfort. It makes him smile and turn back to look at the kid. Quickly, of course, since he still has to pay attention to the road, but he hopes Taka notices his gratitude.

Luckily, the traffic doesn't last long and soon they are flying down the highway again, fast and free. Mondo can't help the whoop of excitement he gives, his heart pumping fast with the rush of adrenaline. Fuck, he loves this. He loves doing it with Taka even more, honestly. Knowing the kid actually enjoyed their ride… fuck. It's fucking incredible, truly.

It doesn't take long after that before they are back in the city limits, Tokyo shining around them like the glittering jewel it masquerades as. While he's not the biggest fan of the busy city, he has to admit it can look very enchanting when driving through it at night. He hopes Taka likes it, too. He truly does.

Once they get off the highway and onto the city streets, they reach Hope's Peak pretty quick, as centrally located as the school is. He parks in his spot and cuts the engine, partially expecting to have a repeat of earlier to deal with, with Taka being all overstimulated and shit.

To his surprise (and disappointment), Taka let's go a hell of a lot faster than before, though his body is still shaking. And then he… he fucking dismounts without a single comment or problem, which shouldn't be concerning, and yet…

Mondo tries to push past it. He does his best to just dismount as well and not stare at the kid with worry. So, what, Taka is getting better at riding a hog? Isn't that what he wanted? Yeah, it's a little weird for the kid to go from how he reacted in the forest to being almost perfectly fine in just one ride, but… whatever. Taka will tell him if he needs help. He just… has to trust the kid. That's all. Taka has shown so much trust to him, the least he can do is show some trust back. Simple.

Smiling when the kid smiles at him, he reaches forward and helps take the helmet off, since he figures the kid would still struggle with that. It is kinda complicated if you don't know how to do it, so he figures helping the kid out would be best. And Taka is still smiling, but the dull look in his eye is also still there, and Mondo has no idea what to do about it. He truly doesn't. Taka shivers and Mondo pushes his worry down yet again as he puts his arm around the kid's shoulder with a smile and hurries them inside, not wanting him to freeze or anything.

The school is pleasantly warm, at least, and there aren't too many people milling about, just some older years he pays no attention to. It's not super late, maybe 8:00, but he guesses most people are doing shit at this time. Makes sense, since he and Taka plan to be doing shit soon, too, heh. Speeding up a bit to get them back to their- /his/ room quicker, he hurries Taka on a bit. Taka doesn't even comment on it, just moves faster with him. Mondo pushes down his concern again. It's better that way.

They reach /his/ room quickly and only then does Mondo remove his arm reluctantly to open the door. It leaves him feeling so much colder, but he pushes that aside, too. He has so much he has to push aside these days. But that's fine, it doesn't matter, shit. He enters the dorm with Taka on his heels and he tries to tell himself that things are fine. That they're all okay. That nothing is wrong.

He continues to tell himself this as he puts the shit from the picnic away. Trash in the trash can, helmet on his counter, wine bottle and glasses on the table… the kid watches him the entire time, his eyes intent as ever, and it makes him oddly nervous. Wanting to give his mind something to focus on other than his nerves, Mondo begins to babble about how much fun he'd had that day and how he wants to do it again sometime. Part of him is hoping that it will get Taka to start talking too, but he should have known better than that. All the kid does is /stare/, giving a small, almost dismissive nod when he finishes. He tries not to let it destroy him.

Once everything is put away to the best of his ability, he walks over to Taka and starts helping him out of his jacket, since the kid hadn't done that for some reason. Taka doesn't startle and he just smiles when Mondo grins at him. It looks like a normal smile, too, so he lets it settle him. He talks absently about the movie he's going to have them watch, the original Mummy movie. His bro had loved the film when they were little and he did too, he thinks. It's been a while since he last saw it, but it's a fucking classic. He's not sure if the kid will like it or not, but he… he hopes he will.

As they sit to watch it, Mondo pulls Taka as close as they always sit when watching films. It helps settle him again. It helps more when he hears Taka laugh with him at the jokes, the kid loose against his side. This… this is good. Right? This is good? The kid is laughing, he's happy, and it… it's /good/. Whatever happened earlier was just… a fluke. Or something. Taka is fine, they're /fine/. They're both fine.

(And yeah. Taka will leave him one day. But /today is not that day/, so he needs to stop thinking that it is. That he fucked up somehow and Taka is angry or upset at him. That Taka is slowly slipping away from him because of his numerous mistakes. This… today was an apology and it went /perfectly/. It went exactly as planned. Taka- Taka is fine, he's happy, and it… it's good. They're good. There's no reason for them not to be.)

(Well.)

(Other than the fact that Mondo is hellishly unworthy of Taka's company, and he fucking knows it. But- shit. He can't think of that. He focuses on the movie again and it's fine. It's all… fine.)

The movie ends far too quickly for his liking, and Mondo looks over at the kid, wondering if he liked it or not. He didn't seem unhappy, but… fuck. It's so hard to tell.

"So. Whaddya think, kyoudai? Liked it?" Mondo asks, doing his best to appear casual as he stretches, even though he feels anything but. He watches from the corner of his eye as Taka stiffens minutely, before relaxing almost instantly, a soft smile on his lips. It looks so close to flawless that Mondo is able to convince himself that the numbness in those scarlet eyes is just… his imagination, of course. What else would it be?

"It was enjoyable, kyoudai!" Taka exclaims, making Mondo smile brightly. See? Kid's fine. Nothing to worry about.

(Right…)

"Shit, really? Nice! Daiya an' I watched that movie a lot as a kid. Haven't seen it in years, heh. Wasn't sure if ya'd like it, but I'm so fuckin' glad ya did, heh. Maybe we can watch Indiana Jones sometime. Not the biggest fan, but eh. It's enjoyable I guess."

Taka smiles and nods absently back, eyes distant again, and Mondo does his best to not let it kill him inside.

Soon they are getting ready for bed, not needing to talk about it as Taka heads to the bathroom and gets ready for bed first. Taka usually does when they sleep over. He's glad that the kid remembered their promise to sleep over tonight, honestly. With how off Taka has been, he wasn't sure if he would or not. At least now he doesn't have to be all pathetic and ask again, heh…

It doesn't take the kid long to finish, since he's so fucking clinical with his routines. Now that he knows the kid doesn't, uh… ya know… it makes sense that he doesn't spend ages in the shower like Mondo does whenever Taka sleeps over. He pushes that thought right on out of his head given how fucking stupid it is and instead focuses on smiling at Taka as he passes the kid exiting the bathroom while he enters it. The kid's smile is strained, but Mondo pretends he doesn't see it. Fuck, does he hope this gets resolved soon… he's not ready for this shit to end…

It doesn't take him long to undress and enter the shower, Mondo letting out a happy sigh as the warmth assaults him. It's just shy of being scalding, just the way he likes it. As he stands under the spray, he bites his lip and contemplates if he should, you know… jerk off or not. On one hand, it's good to get that shit out of the way so that he doesn't make anything awkward later. On the other hand… it's still fucking awkward jerking off when he knows Taka is in the other room. Especially given the weird ass thoughts he's been having today…

Shit. But if he /doesn't/, then that runs the risk of him getting a fucking boner when in bed with Taka, which would be even more awkward, honestly. Plus, he can't deny that he's kinda tense right now, with the worry over Taka and all…

With a soft sigh, he reaches down and grabs his dick in his right hand, biting his cheek to keep the fucking moan in. He's done this a couple times since Taka started sleeping over, but it's still awkward to force himself to go faster than he usually likes. It's worth it to be able to hold the kid at night, but still. It kinda fucking sucks.

It also doesn't help that his stupid ass brain keeps wanting to think of Taka as he's jerking himself. He'll start off with a normal fucking fantasy, with another chick going down on him or something, and then something will happen and suddenly it's fucking /Taka/ on his knees before him and- shit. Whatever. He immediately cuts the fantasies off as soon as they come, but it makes it hard to find a rhythm when he's constantly cutting into his fucking fantasy, goddamnit. But he refuses to think of his kyoudai that way. He just… even if he /were/ gay, that shit is just… yeah. No. While he doesn't agree with Taka's assessment that it's 'immoral' to think of someone while jerking off, he can't deny that thinking of /Taka/ while jerking off feels very wrong. Almost like a betrayal of the kid's trust or something. He highly doubts that Taka would appreciate anyone thinking of him that way, given his beliefs. And he refuses to betray Taka's trust in any way possible, even if Taka has no way of ever finding out. Plus, he's, ya know… not gay and all…

Anyway…

He eventually manages to finish, his body relaxing as the tension cuts off from his body. A little, at least. It's not perfect, but it's better than it had been, shit. He quickly finishes his shower after that, doing his usual routine for his hair to keep it healthy. Once he's done, he shuts the water off and heads into the bathroom proper to dress himself.

He finds himself hesitating as he pulls his tank on, though he's not entirely sure why. He's just going to see Taka again before they head to bed together. The fuck is he feeling /nervous/ about? Yeah, part of him is worried that Taka is still all unhappy about whatever was bugging him earlier, but… shit. The kid would tell him. If he's upset. Right? No, he's never had the kid promise he would, but… shit. Whatever. It's gonna be fine. And if Taka is actually letting him go and is planning to leave soon, then… that's fine, too. This was inevitable, he's always known that, and it's just… it's gonna be fine. No point ruining however much time he has left with pathetic things like self-pity, for Christ's sake.

Ignoring the ache in his chest, he exits the bathroom and can't help but smile when he sees Taka working on that fucking literature essay. They have exams all the following week, so it doesn't honestly surprise him to see the kid working. He's more surprised the kid hadn't tried to do his work during their picnic or something, heh. He's not started his essay, but he thinks he actually has an idea for how to write it. Which is… honestly baffling, but Taka has still been tutoring him in most of their classes, so maybe some of it is finally rubbing off on him or something. Shock of all shocks, he knows.

He smiles at Taka as the kid finally looks up at him, heart lurching at the smile the kid gives him. It still seems a little off, but he is doing all he can to ignore that as he heads over to the bed, lying down in the middle like he usually does. His eyes track Taka as he pads through the room to turn the lamp off like always, feeling so fucking soft inside. And when Taka approaches the bed and carefully gets in, like he always fucking does… shit. It's so good. Nothing beats this, he's sure. All of this. This day… god, it's been so fucking /good/. Even with all the shitty parts, like Daisuke being his usual bastard self, and Taka's strangeness, and his fuck up with the cookies… this was still an amazing fucking day. He just hopes Taka feels similarly. God, does he hope that.

It takes him a little while, but eventually Mondo is able to drift off to sleep, faster than he ever is able to do it without Taka. There's just something about holding onto the kid that soothes him so fucking much. Like the kid is a fucking balm to all his worries.

It does concern him a little that he doesn't hear Taka's soft breathing that usually indicate he's asleep as he drifts off, but that's prolly not a problem. He's just making mountains out of molehills, he's sure of it.

And if not…

Well.

This all was so fucking nice while it lasted.