Chapter 35: The Broken Mirror
It feels good to be back, it really does :D I'm currently listening to Kaga PIYO! I don't know why, but Kagamine songs like this always bring my mood up. Enough blabbering though, I must now introduce you the long awaited chapter 35!
Len's POV~~~
I've got to make it in time.
Rin's life is at stake here. If I get there just seconds late, I could run in to find parts of her brain splattered around. Perhaps bones are being cracked with each wide step I take. What if the person holds her throat, squeezing it just to see the colorful display on Rin's face? Has the blood tainted the ground?
Am I too late?
Crap, this paranoia is taking effect on me. I want to stop and take a breather, but that breath might be let out at the same time Rin lets out her last. Stopping isn't an option now. Not for someone as important as Rin.
For someone as important as her to leave...
"What are you saying that echoes for so long?" Rin asks, stepping up, just inches away from my face. I meet her eyes but quickly look back down from the small distance. "I'm not nice to you out of pity, okay? You are my best friend- I'll do anything for you. If I ever promise you anything in my life, it's that."
Rin is more than a friend...but how much more?
Those turquoise that can bright up any room...
That sweet voice that makes my heart speed up...
Those soft hands that hold enough strength to never let me go...
That dazzling smile...
Those all make me run faster. I want to see those more of them!
Even such a monster like me deserves some happiness! These chains that you've connected to me aren't visible, but they clink when you walk away or closer. I want-no-
I need you, Rin!
And you need me too!
If I ever promise you anything in my life, it's that I will never let you down. Those aren't just words. And these aren't just tears. And these aren't just quick steps. And this quick pulse isn't just an accelerated heart.
This is everything to me.
I cross the corner and enter the empty alley. A figure stands and another just sitting there, holding her head and staring at the ground. What are you doing, just sitting there, Rin? Why are your eyes seated to the ground? Move, dammit!
Then I spot it. The reason to why she won't move.
The gun holds her life.
Fear. Fear grips my heart.
My feet move on their own accord.
Three feet away...
Mayu gives Rin a catty smile and opens her mouth.
Two feet away...
"This time, I will erase you."
One foot away...
The loud gun shot explodes through the still air.
Rin's POV~~~
It's going to come any second now. I can feel the my anxiety rising high. All the things I never got to do, and all the people I've never taken the time to sit down with and tell them how important they are to me...Why have I been wasting my time being so ungrateful? I want to let it all out. Please let me speak my last confession. Let my voice explode along with the gun shot!
"I love you, Len!"
.
.
.
The three loud noises collide together. My yell, the gun shot, and...was that Mayu's scream?
I open my eyes just in time to see a foot colliding with Mayu's arm, knocking the gun out of her hands. It flies off to the wall and the bullet hits a nearby trashcan. Mayu screams from the pain as she clutches her arm from the hard kick. Was that a crack I heard?
I have no time to think things over because the same person grabs Mayu's waist and throw her down, making her cry again and fall to the ground. She wraps her arms around her head, complaining about the pounding pain.
"Len-kun, how could you do such a thing?"
Len? So it wasn't a dream? He's really here? But, why is he wearing a Santa costume? Why is he carrying a sack too? What is he doing?
"Come on Rin, we've gotta go!"
I stare at his face as he roughly grabs my hand and pulls me along. Mayu gets back on her feet, struggling to find the gun.
This is all moving too fast-is this really not a dream?
"Snap out of it, Rin! We've got to hurry up!"
I try and match his pace, but each time my foot steps down I can feel pain around my ankle. I wince as it becomes stronger and squeeze his hand. "I can't! I have a limp, Len!"
Len stops and turns to see me feeling my right ankle. He looks behind me and frowns as he hears Mayu's footsteps getting louder and louder.
"You go ahead. It's me she's after. And with this," I say and motion to my ankle, "I'll only slow you down."
"What kind of option is that? I won't just leave you here to die!" Len yells, and I give him an uneasy smile.
"It's okay, Len-"
"No, it's not! I can't bear to have you gone, Rin!"
"This isn't just your decision!"
"And neither is it yours!"
"I don't want to see you fall behind just because of me!" I yell and squeeze his hand. Too bad Len doesn't let me speak again, because he's running again. I try and reason with him, but he won't listen to what I say. I decide to shut my mouth and run beside him, burying the pain in my foot. The only sound left is our harsh panting and the snow crushing beneath our feet.
As we run, I look over at Len and take in his santa costume. Why is he wearing something as ridiculous as that? Whatever the reason is, it must be important. On Saturday I told him I wanted to see Santa Claus, but he wouldn't dress up like this just for me.
Would he?
All this for me?
But, I'm no one special. I'm just Rin Kagamine. An average teenage girl who spends too much time trying to learn how to draw when she can't even draw a stick-man. A girl who puts up with many embarrassing things just to make her friends happy. A girl with a flat chest and no curves whatsoever. A girl who sometimes can't control her temper and overreacts for the most idiotic things. A girl who foolishly chases after the guy she likes even though she knows he'll never like her back.
And yet...this girl is important to him?
That makes no sense.
Len's POV~~~
Finally, after what seems like hours later, Mayu loses us. I lean against the wall and let out a content sigh. Rin collapses to the ground and curls her feet up to her face. It's over.
But although she is safe, I hear sniffling from the small girl. Her petite body shakes as she curls her arms around her legs like vines.
"Rin?"
She continues sniffling until her voice breaks and she starts uncontrollably sobbing. Each sob makes her body move, until her arms let her feet loose and she covers her face with her hands in shame. The tears drip off her chin, cheeks, and hands, falling onto her skirt. Nothing can be said to her. This broken doll...she isn't Rin. I bend down and hug her tightly, smoothing her back with my hand. Mayu has left and all is okay, but...
"Why are you crying?"
Rin wipes her red eyes as her lip trembles. "I-I don't- I don't even know. J-just-"
She explodes into another fit of sobbing again, her chest heaving out hesitant breaths.
"Now, now...shh..."
"L-Len, it was so scary! I didn't know what t-to do! I-it-she-"
"I understand."
"But what if you hadn't come? What if I died?"
Her words come in clumps, pouring out like vomit in a desperate speed. I just let the words pass through, patting her back as she pukes them out, crying and screaming all her problems. From small things like cheating on a test to talking about her unrequited love. At last, she pulls back, wiping her mouth. I lift up her chin as she sniffs and erase the remnants of her tears. She gives me a small smile in return.
"You ready to go home?"
She nods and proceeds to stand up, but falls down again. She winces at the pain in her ankle and holds onto my jacket. There's only one way to get her home safely.
"Get on my back, Rin."
Rin shakes her head. "Len...I just want some rest..."
Before she can sit down again, I heave her onto my back. She resists for a few seconds, but soon her arms loop around my neck. "Trust me, I will get you home safely. There you can rest."
She nods and lays her head down on my shoulder as I begin walking. It's silent again, and her warm breath is tickling my neck. My eyes look straight ahead, thinking about all the happenings as my legs unconsciously move to the direction of her house.
Just an hour ago, I wasn't sure if I would ever see Rin again. And now here she is, sleeping peacefully on my back. Each slow breath is like a lullaby, soothing my own heart until it's calm again.
I knock on the door to be respectful, and Rin's mother answers the door.
"Hello Len! Oh, is Rin sleeping?" she asks, looking at her daughter.
I nod and chuckle. "I picked her up from Aito's house and she kinda got sleepy on the walk back."
"I'll take her to her-"
"You can go and rest. I'll place her on her bed," I say. She looks at her daughter again and then at me, hesitant.
She smiles and nods, patting my head. "Thank you for taking good care of her."
I'm surprised from the action and she walks out of the way so I can pass. Placing one step forward, I walk up the stairs and to Rin's room. The citrus scent of oranges greets me as I step in. Pictures of her friends are hung on the wall. One with Rin tightly hugging me sits on her bedside table. Her bed is covered with cute plush animals and fruits. I slowly let her down on her mattress and wrap the cover around her. After fluffing the pillow, I take one last look at her sleeping face. Her chest falls and rises as each breath passes through her slightly open lips.
Before I know it, I find myself tracing her delicate lips and then pushing aside her bangs.
"Goodnight, Rin."
Turning off the lights, I walk out of the room.
Miku's POV~~~
Pulling the cover closer to my naked body, I walk out of the room.
Is this how the show was supposed to be played out? With someone as worthless as me, this plan could have never worked. Everything I try to do falls apart. It was all useless, wasn't it?
I stop the tear's trip down my cheek.
I mustn't let anyone see me like this. This will only add weight onto their shoulders. They wouldn't even care. Father would walk in and turn the other cheek. Mother would head to the security of an anti-depressant pill. Mikuo would roll his eyes and continue his work.
It's just better to go back to my room.
As I walk up the stairs and through the hallways, I bump into a maid. I mutter a "sorry", and try to walk away, but her voice makes me stop.
"Miku? What's wrong?"
My feet stop and I turn around to face her with wide eyes.
"Oh, I'm sorry, Miss Hatsune. I shouldn't have used that name," she says and ducks her head in shame. Her white bangs cover her face, but when she looks up, the same concern is still deep in her eyes.
Haku Yowane, more of a friend than a maid. She was hired when I was around six years old. I was scared of her at first, because she always looked so scared and rarely spoke above a whisper. Then, one day, I invited her to have a tea party with my stuffed animals. She dropped the tea set and flinched when I stood up. She kept apologizing over and over again, and flinched again when I took her hand. She must have thought I was going to hit her because she looked at me in surprise when I asked her if she had cut herself.
She stayed throughout as I grew up, always there to give advice. When I wished for a friend, she was right by my side. Unfortunately, she also knew what was happening when Father's business started to boom. I kept my distance from her, since Father said he didn't want anyone to learn about his secrets. But how can you keep a secret from someone who lives in your heart?
But I didn't know she worked this late. I usually stay in my room during the night, so that must be it.
She takes a step closer, bringing out one hand cautiously. "Is something wrong?"
No, stop. Don't come any closer! If you do...
"Miku?"
My chest rises as I let out a cry and run into her arms, hugging her tightly. Haku looks down at me in surprise, but slowly puts her arms around me and lets me cry. Only tears come out, but she doesn't seem to need an explanation. Her hand runs across my hair, soothing my nerves.
I look at the image being reflected on the mirror. This pale girl with empty, puffy eyes, is that really me?
If so, I can understand why no one could ever love me.
Not a girl like this.
I try my best to be seen by you.
I try my best to raise my scores for your praise.
I try my best to emphasize my beauty to make you stop and stare.
I try my best to receive nothing in return.
Why does faith have to be so cruel? Why does someone like her receive your love? Why do we love the people who don't care about us?
I'm just like the wind to you, aren't I? I blow fiercely against you, and make you nudge a little, but my natural state does nothing. I can make rose petals flow your way, make the trees rustle and give you a cool breeze. I can make things beautiful for you.
And yet, you don't love me.
I suppose it's only natural. Nothing in this world is genuine. Every kind word has a secret motive or self-gain. And if they don't receive anything in return, they get angry. Even Kaito was this way. When I grew distant from him I knew he became angry. But although he became angry, I don't know why he put up with someone like me. Everyone sees me as their role model, but I'm the complete opposite. If they really knew what I was like, they would be disgusted. Disgusted and mad.
I told myself that I only needed Len. Since Kaito was long gone, Len was my only hope. Yes, I was searching for love from a player. Back then I thought that all the heated kisses and passionate meetings meant something. That maybe I would be the one to change him, just like in those shoujo mangas. But then she came along. And after that, my time with Len began ticking.
And now I'm alone.
I look back at the girl in the mirror. My hands reach for scissors and spread them wide apart. I place them close to my neck, savoring the feel of the cool metal. I grab a lock of hair, just above my shoulders. Then, I chop it off.
Piece by piece falls down. Stray strands fall to the dresser, my lap, and the floor. I don't need this excess hair. It only bothers me. The edges are ragged, so I try and make it as level as possible. I touch my fringe, but just push aside the pieces.
After I'm done, I set down the scissors and stare back at the new girl in front of me. The girl who cut out the person closest to her.
Who is she?
Finally, after two months of editing and waiting, there it is! Thank you all for being patient. It feels great to be writing again ^^
I don't really know what to say, really. ^^; Thank you for reading and if you'd like to review you can do so below. Bye bye~
