Disclaimer: I do not own any of the cats in the Warriors series. If I did, most of the deaths would not have happened.
This is my first songfic as well as my first Warriors fanfic that I've put up here. I finished Twilight today and was very upset by the ending, but the song reminded me of it a lot, so I kinda just wrote this. Hope you enjoy.
A lone cat crouched beside the Moonpool, staring into the dark, still surface. It was, as it always was, rimmed with moonlight and the countless number of twinkling stars were reflected in its water. Usually when Leafpool came here, she knew she was surrounded by her warrior ancestors, but tonight she felt completely alone.
It was just a few hours after the badger attack; a few hours after Cinderpelt's death. The rest of the clan – those who had survived the treacherous attack, that is – were resting back at camp. She should be resting too, for the attack had forced every cat to join in the fighting and she was just as tired as any of her clanmates, but there was no way she could sleep now. She was the full medicine cat of Thunderclan now…It was so hard to believe that her responsibilities had doubled in a matter of mere minutes.
But the fact that she had twice the duty and responsibility than she had as an apprentice now was the least of her worries. Cinderpelt was dead. Although the dark gray medicine cat had told her not to blame herself, Leafpool couldn't help feeling guilty. If she hadn't run off with Crowfeather, she would've been in Thunderclan camp when the badgers attacked. She would've been able to protect Cinderpelt!
Even though she had run away with Crowfeather – what a mouse-brained idea that seemed now! – she had received plenty of warnings from Starclan when she was with him. She had foreseen the attack that must've killed Cinderpelt in a dream and had paid little attention to it at all! If Midnight hadn't run into them, she wouldn't have gone back at all. To think that she wouldn't have known of the death of her mentor…
But none of that mattered now, because Cinderpelt was gone. The light brown tabby raised her head to look up at blanket of dark blue velvet where the warriors of Starclan hunted. "How could you be so cruel? I thought you were supposed to help us!" Although she had meant them to sound angry, her words came out twisted with sadness. Her eyes were clouded with pain, as they had been since she first tripped over her mentor's broken body; a moment she wished she could erase completely.
She sighed, knowing that getting angry with Starclan would do no good. In her final moments on earth, Cinderpelt had told Leafpool that Starclan had no control over fate. Leafpool lowered her head once again, feeling ashamed of what she had just done. "I'm sorry…I know that if there was anything that could've been done, you would've done it." Her voice was no more than a whisper now.
She wondered if Cinderpelt could hear her now, among thousands upon thousands of other warrior anscestors. Usually when she came to the Moonpool, Spottedleaf was with her within moments. But still, the amber-eyed she-cat was alone in the moonlit clearing. Her eyes brightened just slightly as a sudden thought crossed her mind. Spottedleaf often spoke to her through dreams, so perhaps she would get to speak to Cinderpelt that way as well! Even so, it wouldn't be the same as before. But it seemed as though waiting to see Cinderpelt in a dream would be the only thing she could hope for. Please Starclan, she thought to herself desperately. Let that dream bring good news…
But what was Leafpool to do if the dream that she now craved did not come? There were plenty of other warriors in Starclan that could just as easily deliver messages to her. But it did seem that messages were usually delivered to one by a cat that had some connection to the cat being contacted. She just had to go on believing that Cinderpelt would be the one to give her messages and prophecies from now on, just as Cinderpelt had gone on believing that Leafpool would return to her clan.
Leafpool curled her tail around her paws, staring aimlessly into the water. Before, all she had to do was pad into the medicine cat's den – her den, now – and Cinderpelt would be there. Now, with the exception of dreams and whatnot, Cinderpelt was gone.
Letting out a hiss of frustration, Leafpool shook her head. "You know that's not true, mouse-brain." She muttered to herself. "Cinderpelt will always be with you, she told you that herself." So she might not be able to see or speak to the she-cat all the time, but Cinderpelt would always walk beside her.
Despite this knowledge, Leafpool felt as though a very large piece of her heart had been ripped out – clawed apart by the same stunt claws that had taken the life of her mentor. But as much as the young she-cat wanted to stop living altogether, to remain where she was now until it was her time to join Starclan as well, she knew that just wasn't an option. She was a medicine cat now, and after such a devastating attack, her clan would need her more than ever right now. And she would have to be strong for her clan, or chaos could easily break loose. Besides, what would Cinderpelt think if she gave up? She had already been on the verge of giving up before, and look what it had caused! But despite all the horrible things that had happened after leaving the forest with Crowfeather, it had taught her one very important thing. She was a medicine cat at heart.
She took a deep breath of the clean, crisp air and, although it still didn't carry the sweet scents of Cinderpelt or Spottedleaf, she felt a bit more relaxed. She had plenty of moons left with her clan, but when she was ready to make the journey to Starclan, Cinderpelt would be there, as would the rest of her warrior ancestors. She was a bit more hopeful now, even knowing that it would be quite a while before that day came.
She sighed slightly, as another cat came into her mind. Crowfeather. She still found it hard to believe that she had been willing to run away with him. And not only had she been willing to, she had gone and done it! Although, now she was sure that she knew why Starclan hadn't stopped her from doing so. She guessed it was their way of showing her that the path of a medicine cat was the right one for her. She still thought that if she hadn't left, Cinderpelt could still be alive, but there was no use dwelling on a what-if situation. She could spin a story however she wanted to in her mind, but nothing could change what had already happened.
She knew that she still loved Crowfeather, and that he felt the same about her. But there was no way she was willing to give up everything – her title, her friends, her clan – for him again. Wondering if he would understand and forgive her for putting him through all this, she felt a stab of pity run through her. She hoped he wouldn't be mad…
Her thoughts went back to Cinderpelt moments later, and she found herself wondering if the medicine cat had ever been in love. She had handled the situation between Leafpool and Crowfeather so calmly…When they were young apprentices, Squirrelflight had seemed to think that Cinderpelt had feelings for Firestar, though Leafpool wasn't sure what had sparked this assumption. Her ginger-furred kin had explained that Mousefur had told her a story about Sandstorm and Cinderpelt, and how they didn't exactly get along too well in the past. Leafpool thought this surprising, because the two hadn't seemed to hold anything against each other.
Well, if Cinderpelt had liked her father, she did a good job of hiding it. She would've had too, of course, because of the rules that came with being a medicine cat. Leafpool blinked slowly, knowing that Cinderpelt would've given up anything to be a medicine cat. Could she really have loved the cat who now led the clan? Leafpool guessed that she would never know the answer to that question.
Leafpool had absolutely no idea where her life was going to take her now. But she was certain that whatever happened, it would be on the path of a medicine cat. She had chosen that path a long time ago, and she would never stray from it again. But what if she needed Cinderpelt? What a silly thought…She would always need the wise she-cat. But there was nothing she could do now but help her clan, listen to her dreams – and her heart, as Spottedleaf had told her – and never stop believing that Cinderpelt was beside her. There was no use in wanting to join Cinderpelt now, because Starclan would take her when the time was right. But she couldn't help wanting to see her sooner.
Leafpool felt a sudden stab of sadness and guilt run through her, wondering if things would've changed if she had told Cinderpelt all her hidden thoughts and opinions, and even her love for Crowfeather. There were so many things that she had left hidden, buried deep inside her. Secrets that she didn't confide in anyone; but why had she felt like she had to hide them from Cinderpelt?
Cinderpelt was her mentor, her friend; she was a compassionate cat who was willing to help any cat in need, despite the clan they belonged to. She would've understood the connection she shared with Squirrelflight, the feelings she had for Crowfeather…And Mothwing! She had assumed that if Cinderpelt knew that Mothwing didn't believe in Starclan, the beautiful she-cat would've been forced out of her position. But now Leafpool was certain that Cinderpelt would've understood. She probably would've been able to handle the situation better than Leafpool herself had, despite the fact that she was so close to Mothwing. She had been even closer to Cinderpelt…
Leafpool found the strength to defy her own thoughts this time, telling herself with a strong, certain voice that she was still incredibly close to Cinderpelt, as she always would be. Smiling at her own certainty, she let herself fall back into all the things she had kept from Cinderpelt. None of those things really mattered now, because she wasn't going to get a second chance to pour her heart out to the dark gray she-cat, even though she was positive that, if given the chance, she would do it in a heartbeat. Of course, if Cinderpelt were to contact her in dreams, she could tell her then. Although she guessed that Cinderpelt would be there to discuss matters of more importance when she did speak to her in dreams. Leafpool now realized that she had taken the time when Cinderpelt was always ready for a chat for granted. I guess you really don't know what you've got until it's gone… she thought solemnly to herself.
But she was a medicine cat, and she had more of a connection with Starclan than any of her clanmates. She would never loose touch with Cinderpelt entirely, just as she knew that her father hadn't lost touch with Spottedleaf, who had died many, many moons ago.
Giving her head a firm shake, she told herself that she had to remember that there would never be a time when she said goodbye to Cinderpelt for the last time. When she visited her in dreams or spoke to her at the Moonpool, there would always be a next time. A faint flicker of a smile crossed her maw for a split second, and then was gone.
With this new, small glimmer of hope, Leafpool looked up at the sky again. "Starclan, I trust that you will always be with me." She meowed quietly. Her eyes widened as a breeze picked up; first it was faint but it picked up until the scents of thousands upon thousands of cats surrounded Leafpool, filling the clearing. She could feel the soft bodies of many cats weaving around her, making their way back up to the heavens where their camp was. The cats continued on their way back to their home until only two cats remained.
"Spottedleaf, Cinderpelt!" Leafpool's voice was filled with happiness as the beautiful tortoiseshell and her dark gray mentor came into view, sitting side-by-side before her. She didn't think she had ever been so happy to see a cat in her life; including when she saw Crowfeather at gatherings. Spottedleaf laughed, padding closer until her sweet scent engulfed Leafpool. "I'm so happy to see you. Both of you. It's so wonderful to have Starclan with me again."
Spottedleaf laughed, though it was soft and sweet. Leafpool looked confused, and she turned to look up at Cinderpelt. She was surprised to find that her mentor's blue eyes were also bright with amusement. "Dear Leafpool," she meowed, her voice just as Leafpool had always remembered it to sound. "We have always been with you."
Well, there you have it. I hope you liked it :) Depending on ratings and reviews, I'm thinking of turning this into a series consisting of songfics for the more important deaths that have happened during the book series. So please R&R! Also, if you do want it continued, feel free to let me know which cat you think I should do next.
