Disclaimer:I own nothing. Buffy the Vampire Slayer is Joss Whedon's genius. Harry Potter is JK Rowling's money-maker. 'Sounds Like A Personal Problem' is by Ghost of the Robot.
A.N.Have to pout. Nobody guessed the two things from other works in the last chapter. There was reference to 'second breakfast' (Fellowship of the Ring) and the "what would you want a boy to say to you when you're about to do it for the first time?" conversation was 'borrowed' from the pilot episode of 'My So-Called Life'. Cookies for those who noted that 'Both Sides Now' was from 'Love Actually'. This chapter's gold star question is: Who is the lead singer of Ghost of the Robot?
Reviewers:
Sonofgloin:Well, once they've blocked out the sun I'll have one of them be a mysterious impostor, LOL. Glad you liked dear Narci… and the dream is only ambiguous if you're not me (coz I know exactly what it's all hinting at, hehe). By the way- this chapter would've been up a day or two earlier, but I got distracted by a surprise visitor. Hmm. ;-)
Saxifrage:Well the implications of breakfast-sex shouldn't be ignored (LOL- new meaning for 2nd breakfast, what about Elevenses?) And I think it's cool you can talk to your Mum about stuff like that- young people's lives wouldn't be screwed up nearly so often if more parents were actually approachable that way. And Oooh- can I have a red loofa pretty please? I like red. Your loofa ceiling sounds cool- I just have a cross hanging from mine. But I have angel dolls on my shelves and song lyrics plastered around my computer, so that makes up for it. Hope you had a good Thanksgiving and I've had my fingers crossed for you with that writing competition.
I'm really honoured that you would ask me for writing advice. I'm no Dickens or Chekhov (or even a JKR) but I've taken a couple of creative writing courses at my uni and I'm happy to share all I've learned from those. My first thing to say is 'write from your gut'. Go with what feels right inside (don't write from your 'head'), get the feeling on the paper and you can edit it later. There are a million other things, but I just don't have room here. My email is somewhere on my homepage- PLEASE email me if you want to discuss it further. Always honoured & happy to help. Thank you so much for the support and consideration!
PomegranateQueen:The other shoe, huh? Here it comes… And as for James and Lily getting together this fic, hate to disappoint but I plan on following the book timeline i.e. them not getting together until seventh year. But that doesn't mean there won't be huge chunks of James/Lily goodness in the meantime, I promise.
Inwe Tasartir: Thanks for the review! I try to keep my standards up as much as I can (university be damned!)
Daydreamer04:I love that song, too. Isn't it beautiful? I'm impatient and I hate the idea of having to wait, but since you've assured me your story will be worth it, I'll be a good girl and look forward to your forthcoming Dawn/Sirius fic. May the muses be with you LOL.
Saturnpyroprincess:Ok, I have to say thanks for reviewing just because it brought your awesome name to my attention. Seriously, that's so cool!
Eyexcandy:Sorry! I feel bad now I didn't write you a full paragraph. Way to guilt trip me LOL. And thanks for pointing out the mistake, I was sure I got them all this chapter. I kinda get excited when it gets to the end of typing time, in favour of posting time I skip the editing thing. I don't like editing. Hopefully thing chapter will have no more mistakes… coz if you read back carefully, I actually make a lot of mistakes! Meh, what're you gonna do about it? It's still understandable, so I'm happy! Is that up to a paragraph yet? Thanks for the review! Take care. XX
Ok-Ok-Ok! Here's your update! Sorry for the length of time- really was unavoidable! Enjoy your class!
Catgirl Elf Princess:Cool name. How come everybody has a cool name except me? As far as Dawn smacking out one of the skanky Slyhterins… patience, my dear. Keep reading and you will be rewarded. It may be several chapters from now, but I promise a moment of brilliance has been planned! (like my way of subtly trying to keep you hooked for the rest of the story- I'm such a review whore!)
Becca:Have worked out a tentative storyline possible for a Buffy comeback. But it's purely theoretical at this point, so no 100 promises. I've got an inkling though… ;-)
Passionatedarkness:Yay! I love reviewers who refuse to leave me alone! Please feel free to do that every spare moment you have, it inspires me no end! (puppy dog gaze… like reviewers)
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
Sounds Like A Personal Problem
What is this crap I'm going through?
Where am I at, and who are you?
To make me feel like I'm so scared.
Caught me off-guard, was not prepared
For you
So smart, so cool
To me
Life seems it shouldn't be this way.
So here I am and there you are
Sitting so close, feeling so far
From me and I can't figure out
What I should say, what's this about?
To you
Too smart, too cool
For me
Life seems it shouldn't be this way.
"Oh bloody hell," Remus muttered. "Not again."
Three of the Marauders were standing in the doorway of their dorm, shaking their heads. They were staring in awe at a set of closed curtain bed hangings; the Silencing Charm muted the sounds from behind it but they could still hear the slight creaking of the mattress springs beneath.
James snickered. "When was the last time those two put their clothes back on?"
"Padfoot strikes again," Remus said with a bit of a laugh. "Give her credit, though. The Kitten lasted much longer than most, ok –any- other girls, but I guess he had to wear her down eventually."
James placed a hand over his heart, as if in pain. "It's true. My baby sister has been corrupted at last." He sighed. "They'll probably be a while yet. Let's go see if we can annoy Evans."
"Prongs," Remus groaned.
"I bet Isabel will be there," James said, winking.
"Ok," Remus hastily amended.
James and Remus turned to leave again, but Peter was still staring at the closed bed hangings. His pink face flinched ever so slightly with each and every creak that reached his ears. Remus clapped his shoulder lightly.
"Come on, mate," he said. "Let's get out of here."
Peter nodded, dropping his gaze to the floor. He let James pull him around to steer him out of the dorm. They went back down to the Common Room, where they found Lily and Isabel hanging out with Candice and Michelle. Lily bit back a groan as James dropped gracefully into the seat beside her.
"Well good afternoon, Evans," James said, his voice annoyingly deeper again. "You're looking lovely as ever today, how about a moonlit stroll on the lake after curfew tonight?"
"I've got a better idea," Lily shot back. "Why don't you go by yourself? That way I can tell Professor McGonagall and she can catch you out after curfew and expel you!"
"Evans, darling," James drawled. "What makes you think I could get expelled over so trifling a matter? After all, I got away with belting the snot out of Lucius Malfoy, didn't I?" he bragged.
Lily huffed, but Candice and Michelle perked up instantly. They hadn't heard the details of that story. "Wait a minute, that was you who rearranged Malfoy's face just before Christmas?" Candice demanded.
"Yeah," James shrugged. "It was me and Sirius."
"Why?" Michelle asked.
It was then that James noticed the warning glares Remus, Isabel, Lily and even Peter were sending him. Nobody else really knew what had gone on between Malfoy and Dawn, because it was something that would completely horrify Dawn if it became public knowledge. Lily even looked ready to hex his mouth shut. Permanently, if she could manage it.
"He just tried to take something of ours," he said evasively. "IT really didn't sit too well with us at the time."
Lily's hand reluctantly released her wand. She turned to Isabel to ask her to go somewhere, anywhere just to get away from James. But Isabel was already busy, whispering and giggling in Remus' ear. The adoration on Remus' face as he slipped an arm about Isabel's waist struck something within Lily, and then she couldn't bear to tear her best friend away. She sighed, picked up a book and set about studiously ignoring James Potter as he stared at her. Peter just shrugged and sent an uncomfortable smile at Michelle and Candice, who returned the gesture half-heartedly.
It was almost an hour before Dawn and Sirius joined them. They were glowing, grinning, completely absorbed in one another as they came down the boys' stairs and joined the rest of their fellow fifth years.
"Oh, look, they've remembered how to put their clothes back on," Remus commented drolly.
"We're not counting on getting used to it," Sirius shot back smoothly, while Dawn blushed and giggled in only half-embarrassed delight. The more intimate her relationship with Sirius became, the less prone she had become to attacks of self-consciousness.
The Gryffindors all went down to the Great Hall together for dinner. Dawn had the horrible feeling she was being watched, just as she used to feel when Malfoy was after her. But nobody else seemed concerned and she couldn't spot anything out of the ordinary, so she said nothing. She didn't notice Malfoy slipping into the Great Hall barely two minutes after they arrives, she was too lost in Sirius again.
Eventually, Lily and Isabel managed to draw Dawn into a conversation when James got Sirius' attention by pegging him in the back of the head with a dinner roll. The girls were chattering about the first book about to be released by Gilderoy Lockhart, an uncannily charismatic ("But a bit stupid, really," according to Lily) wizard who'd been in Hufflepuff a couple of years earlier. Once their feminine counterparts were sufficiently distracted, the Marauders leaned in to hold a whispered conference.
"I really don't think we should do it," Remus said, shaking his head. "It's a ridiculous, dangerous risk I don't want to take."
"Moony," James whined. "It's not dangerous. We've been through the Forbidden Forest loads of times, we know there's nothing bad in there to run into."
"So long as we steer clear of Aragog," Sirius muttered.
Peter shuddered. Hagrid's monstrously large, talking spider friend was terrifying. Once he'd figured out the boys were sneaking into the Forest (in first year) Hagrid had warned them not to stray too close to the spider's lair. Once they'd been foolish enough to do so, and they were all smart enough to know now that if Hagrid hadn't happened by, none of them would've made it through that night alive.
"Yes, I know that," Remus sighed. "But you keep forgetting that I'm one of those things you wouldn't want stray first years' running into."
"Prongs and I can keep you under control, you know that," Sirius said out the side of his mouth. "Besides, you said it yourself- since we've been spending the full moon with you, you're… different. Tamer, or something."
James nodded. "You know we wouldn't let anything happen, Moony. C'mon, it'll be fun. What do you think, Wormtail?" he demanded suddenly, rounding on Peter.
Peter shrugged, his eyes darting between all his friends and eventually settling on James' eager face. "I guess it would be fun," he mumbled.
"Oh, all right then. We'll try it once," Remus relented at last, though his face still held a worried frown.
Both Sirius and James' faces lit up in delighted grins as the four Marauders turned their attention to their meals at last. The chatter continued around them, but Dawn and Sirius quickly lost track of it as they played teasing games with their eyes across the table. Dawn's eyes widened just a fraction as she felt a foot slide up against her ankle and she felt the heat spreading up through her skin almost instantaneously.
Food forgotten again, they continued to stare at each other. Dawn felt her pulse quicken with a thrill of desire tinged with just a hint of fear. The intimacy levels between her and Sirius had gone beyond boiling and well into blistering; she hadn't known there could be so much chemistry and emotion in the world, let alone between just two teenagers. But every now and then she felt as if she was getting lost, so swept away in everything that Sirius could make her feel that she forgot there was a whole world around them. She'd forget her own name if Sirius didn't call out for her.
Dinner ended without them realising it, in a daze they headed back to the Common Room with the others. Almost instantly, they were sneaking back up the boys' stairs once again.
"Bloody hell, not again!" James hollered at their retreating shadows, laughing.
Dawn was the first to wake in the very early hours of the next morning, finding herself curled so comfortably around Sirius she had to talk herself into moving. She summoned her clothes with a whispered "Accio!" and dressed in silence before slipping out between the bed hangings.
She went to tip-toe out of the dorm, then paused. She turned back, screwed up her face in concentration, and waved her wand. The spell Remus had been trying to teach her in secret for a fortnight finally worked, with a smile Dawn left a single, blood red rose on Sirius' pillow.
Lily and Dawn rounded a corner and wandered down a new hallway.
"Explain to me again why you're here doing a Prefect's duties, and Remus isn't," Lily said with a bit of a confused frown at Dawn.
Dawn shrugged. "Remus wasn't feeling so well, so we thought it'd be best if he didn't have to patrol the halls tonight."
"Hmm. He does get sick a lot, doesn't he?" Lily mused. "He's been like that since first year, you'd think by now Madam Pomfrey would've prescribed a potion or something for him."
"Maybe she would but there's nothing she can do," Dawn said with a sad little sigh.
Lily glanced at her out of the corner of her eye, but said nothing. The two girls continued to walk along, chattering away and pausing every now and then to chase other students back to their Common Rooms. As they completed their sweep of the sixth floor, they bumped into a tall, dark girl with a Ravenclaw tie and a Prefect's badge. Lily grinned at her.
"Hi, Hestia. How's it going?"
"Not bad, Lil. Pretty quiet tonight, isn't it?" Hestia returned with a smile and a shrug.
Dawn shifted a little, and Lily suddenly remembered that the two girls didn't know each other. "Oh I'm sorry," she said quickly. "You two haven't met. Dawn, this is Hestia Jones. Hestia, this is Dawn Summers."
"Hey," both girls said, smiling slightly at each other.
Hestia was frowning at Dawn, puzzled. "You know, I don't think I've seen you around before. That's unusual, me being a Prefect and all."
Dawn wasn't really sure how to respond to that, but Lily piped up for her. "Oh you would have, Hestia. I'm sure of it," she said. "Dawn's probably better known as Sirius Black's girlfriend."
"Oh right," Hestia said as it dawned on her. "Sorry, didn't recognise you without being attached to Sirius," she joked.
Dawn chuckled politely, but as Lily and Hestia fell into some Prefect-related conversation, she grew silent. Was that all she was known as- Sirius Black's girlfriend? Was it so impossible to be recognised as just Dawn? Just as herself? As she stood there in the darkened hall, for the first time in her life Dawn started to think about all the roles she'd ever played. She'd played the baby for her mother. She'd played the brat kid sister for Buffy with aplomb. She'd played the outcast at Sunnydale Junior High, then the weird new girl at Hogwarts. And now she was playing the part of Sirius Black's girl. The nameless face unrecognisable unless she was hanging on his arm.
She barely noticed Hestia's departure, and Lily didn't seem to pick up on Dawn's mental absence from the conversation as they began to head back to Gryffindor tower.
"Hestia's a really great girl, don't you think?" Lily asked, but babbled on instead of waiting for a reply that was never coming anyway. "I was so glad to hear that she got Prefect in Ravenclaw this year. You know I was almost sorted into Ravenclaw? And Hestia has an older brother, Chase, he was made Prefect last year. You'd probably recognise him if you saw him around, Chase is Seeker for Ravenclaw."
"Hmm," Dawn murmured, a million miles away. If she'd been paying attention, she would have noticed the brightness in the green eyes, the telltale blush that suggested somebody should warn James that he had competition.
Lily smiled. "Yeah. Really tall, and dark, with hair you just want to run your fingers through. And he has a great- Dawn, are you even listening to a word I'm saying?"
"Yeah," Dawn said, her voice in a monotone and her eyes focused on something only she could see. "You were about to say that Chase Jones has a great ass. Lion's Den."
They climbed through the portrait, back in the comfort of their Common Room at last. Lily grinned at Dawn as they headed up the girls' stairs.
"Thanks for patrolling with me, Dawn. It makes the time go so much quicker when you've got someone to chat to," she said.
Dawn shrugged. "Well it was either me or James, so Remus decided it would be better if I came along."
A little shudder rippled through Lily. "In which case I really can't thank you enough for coming with me. You can even have the first shower."
Dawn gathered her things and headed directly for the bathroom. She stood under the shower and let the borderline scalding water pound into her, rushing over her while she drowned in her own thoughts. She stayed in the shower until the heat of the water had exhausted her, then crawled out of the stall to lean against the cool tile outside of the inbuilt bathtub.
She stayed there until the chill of the tiles had seeped through her like osmosis and the steam had dissipated into little wisps of cloud. Dawn was a little shaky as she got to her feet, she gripped the basin for support and suddenly found herself face to face with a mirror. For the longest time she locked gazes with herself, staring into the blue depths Sirius always called his favourite oceans and trying to find a spark. Just a little clue, something to tell her that Dawn Summers did, in fact, exist as a single entity. A loud hammering on the door startled Dawn, she jerked back from the mirror and blinked a couple of times.
"Come on Dawn!" Lily called through the door. "I think you're taking unfair advantage of my kindness- you've been in there almost an hour.
Dawn hastily threw on her sweats and patted her hair dry. She flew out the door, tossing a sheepish grin at Lily as she immediately stormed the bathroom.
By the time Lily had left the shower and crawled under the covers, all the girls had gone to bed. But Dawn found no rest. She lay awake feeling strange and sick and apprehensive, listening to the calm breathing of the other girls and wondering what the hell was wrong with her.
When midnight rolled around, she forced herself to climb out of bed. She tip-toed down to the Common Room, not surprised to find the boys already waiting for her. She grinned slightly when she saw them, pleased to note that none of them seemed to notice anything off about her. Then Sirius held her hand and Dawn felt a momentary stab of guilt and foolishness for the whole new track she'd let her strange mind wander down.
The Marauders all bunched up to fit under the Invisibility Cloak for their monthly trip to the Kitchens. Dawn winced. On average, one of her feet was trodden on every third step and she still hadn't managed to find herself those steel-capped boots. By the time Peter was tickling the pair she was hobbling. When she pouted at him, Sirius hastily smothered his laughter at the way she was walking and sent her his most sympathetic look.
The House-Elves, as usual, fussed all over them, tripping over each other in their excitement at the monthly visit Dawn thought they should be used to by now. When Locky started squealing and blubbering over the way Sirius was holding loosely onto her elbow, Dawn just smiled and felt like a liar the whole time. She breathed a sigh of relief when they were seated at last and she could get lost amongst the clatter of dishes and the general chatter.
"Cheesecake, Kitten?" Remus asked, sliding a slice onto her plate.
Dawn immediately confiscated the knife he was using to serve everyone. "What do you think you're doing? You're looking paler by the second, Rem, you're only a couple of shades away from 'vampire' as it is. You just relax, let me fix all this up."
Remus' tired smile was full of gratitude. The other boys watched with amusement as Dawn automatically loaded all their plates with what she knew were their favourite dishes.
James winked at the other boys. "See, I told you from the start there was a good reason to keep her around."
Sirius snorted. "Yeah, Prongs. That's what I love most about her- her ability to feed us," he said with airy sarcasm.
James and Remus both raised their eyebrows at the unconscious ease with which the 'L' word had fallen from Sirius' lips, but Dawn didn't seem to even notice it. She stabbed at her cheesecake with a splade and roughly bit into it without tasting it. 'Great,' she thought with irrational bitterness. 'Now I've got two functions. I get to feed him as well as gratify him.'
Remus glanced discreetly at her. "All right, Dawn?" he said, so only she could hear.
Dawn nodded, forced a smile for him. "Yeah. I'm just tired, you know."
"That's because you've forgotten that a bid is also for sleeping in," he said wisely.
Isabel let out a shriek of frustration and hurled her school bag at her cupboard. "He's gone again!"
"What's up?" Dawn asked vaguely. She was sitting on the rug in the girls' dorm, watching Newman as he struggled through laps around one of her shoes. The night of the full moon was her most boring night of the month.
"Remus," Isabel explained with a grunt as she flopped down next to Dawn.
Dawn tensed, keeping her focus on Newman and trying to remain as calm as possible. "He hasn't done anything, has he? Is everything ok?"
The blond just rolled onto her back and stared up at the ceiling. She seemed to be trying to read the grooves in the stones for the answers to all life's most difficult questions. After a moment, Dawn decided it couldn't hurt to try and laid back, too. Newman plodded over at a snail's pace and started to systematically tangle himself in her hair.
"I just don't get him," Isabel sighed after a few minutes of contemplative silence had ticked by. "He'll be so perfect for a few weeks, and then all of a sudden he's just… not there anymore. And he won't talk to me about it, just mumbles some crap about it being complicated and tells me not to worry about it."
Dawn kept staring at the ceiling, not wanting to lie but refusing to betray Remus' confidence. She'd never been able to forget the fear in his eyes the first time they'd discussed his true identity.
"Well, maybe it really isn't anything to worry about then," she said evenly.
A disbelieving snort escaped Isabel's nose, making her delicate nostrils flare like a horse's. "You know, Dawn, for someone who's turned into Sirius' permanent little vixen, you're still kind of naïve. Guys only use the word 'complicated' when they're hiding something."
Whether or not Isabel had intended the remark about her relationship with Sirius as a slight, Dawn bristled and had to fight to keep from shooting her a dirty look. Instead she made herself get back to the very important task at hand: stop Isabel suspecting anything off about Remus.
"You know Remus has always been a mystery. Maybe he just doesn't like the idea of someone figuring him out," Dawn said sagely. She mentally crossed her fingers, hoping it was enough.
To her horror, Isabel was shaking her head. "No, that can't be. He gets this look on his face, Dawn, I don't even know how to explain it properly. He looks like a wild animal or something. Like he's trapped and his eyes are just begging for me to understand when he can't even tell me what it is I'm supposed to be understanding. It's almost a little scary," she confided, rolling onto her side.
Dawn shifted uncomfortably and started to unwind long strands of hair from around Newman's dumpy legs before he managed to get them completely knotted. "I don't know, Isabel," she said at last. "Love Doctor Dawn is not the wisest choice for consultation. And I admit I don't know everything about Remus, or about whatever goes on between you two, but I know him well enough. And any idiot can see he completely adores you."
A little grin caught on Isabel's face and she looked over at Dawn. "You really think so?"
Dawn just gave her a look.
Isabel let out a loud sigh. "But I still know he's keeping secrets from me and I can't figure out why."
Dawn's stomach began to tie itself in knots of uncertainty. She wasn't sure what to say and what not to say. Finally, she just shrugged. "Ok, say Remus does have secrets. If that's the case, it must be something really important to him, something he'd be too scared to tell you in case you wouldn't like him anymore or something."
"Like what?" Isabel laughed. "He's got some really horrible disease he can't control, something that makes him turn into a monster against his will?"
Dawn almost vomited in horror, but managed to pass it off as a laugh. She gripped Newman's handle convulsively.
"That's it, isn't it?" Isabel said sarcastically. "He's a bloody werewolf or something."
"That's crazy," Dawn said in a high-pitched voice. "You're talking crazy-talk, Is. Stop it!"
"I know, insane girlfriend syndrome," Isabel said glumly.
Dawn nodded, latching overenthusiastically onto the insanity plea. "What is it that people around here have against werewolves and all that, anyway?" she asked.
Isabel responded freely, not noticing the defensive edge that had crept into her friend's voice. "Well they're wild, you know. Dangerous," Isabel said with a shrug. "You can't trust a werewolf, we learned all about them in third year. If you come across a werewolf on the full moon, even if it's your best friend, you're as good as dead."
Dawn had paled significantly, only sheer willpower kept her from bursting into tears. As it was, she couldn't quite get a handle on her anger. "And what about the rest of the month, huh? Is a werewolf still dangerous when he's just walking past you on the street as a person?"
Isabel frowned and cocked her head at Dawn as best she could while laying down. "What? Dawn, what are you on about?"
"We have very different views where I come from," Dawn said, her eyes more than just a little accusing. "Nobody chooses to be a werewolf- they get bit or scratched and it's not their fault. Just because they go through this awful, painful thing every month, they don't deserve to be treated as any less human than the rest of us!"
Isabel was still frowning, not able to understand Dawn's sudden burst of passion in the least. "Look at it logically, Dawn- you let werewolves and other monsters loose in society and how many people end up at risk because of it?" she said, feeling distanced and unaffected by the whole issue. It was a ridiculous topic anyway, she'd only even mentioned werewolves as a stupid joke. It wasn't as if they even knew any.
"Whatever," Dawn mumbled, tracing a finger down Newman's handle and avoiding looking at Isabel. She didn't know how she'd be able to look at the other girl the same way anymore.
"I just wish I could get Remus to talk to me," Isabel sighed.
The two girls rolled onto their backs again to stare up at the ceiling. Neither felt any more comforted after their little talk. Minutes ticked by in silence but still Isabel and Dawn did not move a muscle.
The door opened, Lily came into the dorm somewhere underneath her usual stack of books. She deposited them all neatly on her bedside table and came into the middle of the dorm to regard Dawn and Isabel curiously. None of the three girls spoke, or even acknowledged each others' existence. Eventually Lily shrugged and laid down in between the other two girls. She gazed up at the ceiling without even bothering to ask what was so fascinating about it.
The Whomping Willow swayed gently in the breeze, just one aspect of the myriad of movement in the peaceful night. Then the Willow froze all of a sudden and four figures emerged from a gap in its trunk, stark shadows against the melting snow. First came a fat little rat and then a large, handsome stag. Next came the hybrid form of a werewolf, with a dog not quite as large right on his tail. The werewolf paused and stiffened, as if he had never known the crispness of open air before. Moony was bombarded on all senses, he tossed his head every which way and sniffed wildly, unsure as to which promising scent he should follow first.
He let out a growl of anticipation, but before he could head towards the castle, or the village full of tasty humans, Padfoot and Prongs rounded him up and forced him towards the Forbidden Forest. Wormtail hesitated, but then his fear of being left behind overcame his aversion to the Forest. He scurried after the other animals, squeaking to remind them of his presence.
Moony sniffed him curiously, Wormtail began to shake with fright but the werewolf simply nudged him with his nose, gave a wolfish sneeze, and turned to inspect a nest of beetles. Padfoot and Prongs stared at each other, each trying to figure out a way to keep from losing their smallest companion, the frustration mounting in the hazel and the sky blue eyes as each moment passed without any effective means for communication.
Then Padfoot had a sudden brainwave. He gave a decisive bark and leaned over to nudge Wormtail with his snout. Wormtail looked up only to see an enormous set of jaws with inch-long teeth bearing down on him. He'd never wished he hadn't kissed Sirius' girlfriend more than at that moment. With blunt, gentle pressure Padfoot scooped the rat up in his mouth and deposited him in the grooves of Prongs' antlers.
Wormtail, damp with dog slobber and quivering with fright, glared at Padfoot with his beady eyes. Prongs snorted, not entirely pleased with the seating arrangements himself. The amount of rat droppings scattered about the Shrieking Shack was phenomenal.
The four animals set off through the trees together. They followed their noses, seeking out all the strange and wonderful inhabitants of the Forest now that they weren't bound by the dangers that usually faced them as humans. Prongs and Padfoot took care at first to keep Moony in between them at all times, but it soon became apparent that the further he was from humans, the tamer he became.
Late in the night they paused for a break, having found a clearing deeper in the Forest than they'd ever reached on two legs. Prongs lowered his head to the ground so Wormtail could climb free. The second his paws hit the dirt, Wormtail scurried over to the nearest patch of grass to rest on something soft. Stag antlers weren't exactly equipped with cushions.
Prongs and Moony both found suitable patches of ground to rest on, but Padfoot, full of energy still, began to trot around the clearing. He sniffed every tree at least once, marked his territory on two and then began turning rocks over with his snout. He only stopped when a rock he disturbed was covering a beetle with large nippers that latched onto his nose with as much power as lobster claws.
Padfoot whined loudly and bolted frantically around until it occurred to him to use a tree as leverage to prise the beetle off. He whined again, but it hastily became a growl when he noticed the stag hoof thumping against the ground in mirth.
Still not deterred from exercise, but unwilling to investigate any further that evening, the great black dog settled for chasing his tail. This seemed to catch Moony's interest, the werewolf stood and came over closer to observe the circles Padfoot was running in. Prongs shared an amused look with Wormtail as Moony started to slowly turn his own circles.
Padfoot paused for a moment and gave a bark of encouragement as the werewolf picked up speed. Soon the dog and the werewolf were no more than two blurs of dark fur, almost racing each other to see who could catch his tail first. Padfoot won, but only because he had the distinct advantage of a tail long enough to actually grab. Moony's tail was far too stubby for him to even get close to, but he seemed to enjoy the game anyway.
Prongs just snorted at the antics of the ridiculous creatures and lowered his head to the ground so Wormtail could scamper up and resume his perch. He then stamped his feet, calling his wayward animal friends to order so they could head back towards the Whomping Willow. Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs escorted Moony back to the safety of the Shrieking Shack before trudging up towards the castle, back in human form and hiding under the Invisibility Cloak.
"Well that certainly was an interesting night," James yawned as the moon began to set at last.
"Yeah," Peter agreed as they stepped back inside.
All three gave a little wince as the doors squeaked loudly, they went still and quiet as a moment as a precaution, but nobody burst out of any shadowy corners to catch them unawares. James looked to his friends and motioned with his head that they should continue up to Gryffindor tower.
"I'm glad there were no disasters," Sirius said quietly. "Can you imagine explaining ourselves to Dawn if there had been? I'd rather face McGonagall. At least she can't really get mad at us now, since it went so well."
"We're planning on telling Dawn?" James asked, eyebrows raised. "Ok, one- since when? And two- are you sure that's a good idea? She's scarier than your Mum and McGonagall put together when she's cranky."
"But she looks so cute when she's cross," Sirius laughed.
"I may have to vomit now," James announced. He popped his head out of the Cloak. "Lion's Den."
"If you say so," the fat lady murmured, snoozing again even as she admitted them all to the Common Room.
They snatched an hour of sleep before they had to be up, but it stretched into a couple of hours without them even realising it. They slept through breakfast and would've slept all the way through classes if Dawn hadn't come banging into the dorm to shake them all awake. When Peter still wouldn't wake, Dawn had James help her tip him forcibly off his bed. She'd also thought to provide them with a stack of toast while they dressed, and miraculously James, Sirius and Peter were barely five minutes after Dawn arriving in the classroom and narrowly avoiding detention.
Dawn was strong enough in her Potions work by now not to miss her partner too greatly during Remus' monthly absence. It was slightly slower going on her own, but the Disillusionment Draught was posing her no problem at all. She spared a glance over her shoulder at the boys. They weren't doing nearly so well at all.
Peter was napping with his arms folded over the rim of his cauldron his head laid on them while James and Sirius were haphazardly throwing full packets and bottles of ingredients into their cauldron. They weren't even checking the labels. Neither even noticed when the whole concoction went from green to red and began to sizzle like a Chinese hot dish. Sirius tossed a handful of goat stones in the general direction of their cauldron.
Multicoloured dragonflies spewed from the boys' red potion. They fluttered around the dungeon emitting noxious gases and dive-bombing the other students. James waved his hand half-heartedly, but made no real attempt to ward off the putrid potion insects that settled across his shoulders, clinging about him like flies.
Dawn capped a vial of her own concoction, a perfectly translucent light purple, and walked it to the front of the room. On her way back to clear up her work station, she stopped by James and Sirius' mess, giving Peter a brisk tap on the shoulder to wake him as she passed. Sirius and James just stared up at her smirking face like two zombies. She shook her head.
"Finite Incentatem!"
With a wave of her wand, the foul dragonflies all dissipated. "You guys look even more tired than usual," Dawn commented. "If I didn't know better, I'd swear you'd just called it a boys' night out and gone menacing the town."
Not at all up to their usual devious standards, they both blushed and tried to avoid her gaze. Dawn looked at them a moment before her eyes flared with comprehension. "What did you do?"
James yawned guiltily. "Not here, Kitten," he mumbled. "We'll talk when we can be alone, ok?"
Dawn frowned at them in a way that told them they weren't going to weasel out of any confession in the long run so they shouldn't even try. Before she left to let them deal with the rest of the mess they'd created, she stared at Sirius a moment longer. The frown on her face changed from disapproving to unhappy. She still couldn't figure out when and how their relationship had changed, and she hadn't slept properly in days trying to think of a way to get back to normal. But she'd only managed to confuse herself further.
Try as she might, she just couldn't figure out how to make a relationship work when she couldn't even figure out how she herself worked.
Peter, James and Sirius were so catatonic that Dawn sent them straight to the Hospital Wing and went down to the Kitchens for food alone. By the times the House-Elves had finished fussing over her and asking why Sir Padfoot wasn't with her, quite a while had passed.
She lugged a heavy basket of food into the Hospital Wing, hoping one of the boys who hadn't spent last night as a werewolf would jump up and help her. But said boys were all snoring away, leaving Remus staring at them in boredom. When he noticed Dawn struggling, he moved to help her despite his lingering weakness.
"Don't even think about it," Dawn ordered.
Remus smoothed his covers back down.
With a grunt, Dawn hefted the basket onto his bedside table and plopped onto the mattress beside him to start unloading it. She pulled out a thermos of chicken soup that Locky had warmed up along with the sausages and sticky buns packed. The smell of food made the others begin to stir, and Remus helped them along with a pillow to all their heads. Dawn spread out a platter of sausages and buns and passed out cups of soup. The three boys who'd been sleepwalking through the day were miraculously conscious enough to eat.
"Thanks Kitten," Remus said as she passed him a sausage.
Dawn returned to sipping her soup and nibbling her bun while the food was wolfed down around her. "No problem. So how was last night?"
Remus' pale brown eyebrows rose into arches. "They told you?" he asked, presuming she was referring to their excursion through the Forbidden Forest.
"Told me what?" Dawn asked, a growl creeping into her voice.
Sirius, James and Peter all were frozen by the tone of her voice. James and Sirius slowly lowered the food from their mouths and Peter gulped on impulse, swallowing a hunk of sausage in the process.
"Well this is the thing we wanted to wait and discuss in private," James said tentatively.
Dawn's eyes snapped around the Hospital Wing, but Madam Pomfrey was nowhere to be seen. "We're in private. Now drop the cryptic," she said snappily.
We sort of, um, took a little tour of the Forbidden Forest last night," Sirius said, willing Dawn not to explode.
"You don't mean…" Dawn stared around at them all, the meaning of Sirius' words falling into place in her head. "The four of you?'
Remus had the good sense to look thoroughly ashamed of himself. Peter had the even better sense to scoot backwards, ready to dive for cover under the bed. James and Sirius shared a look.
"You still think it was a good idea to tell her?" James muttered out the side of his mouth. Sirius never got the chance to reply.
"Have you gone completely insane!?" Dawn screeched, jumping to her feet and suddenly making Voldemort seem like a minor inconvenience in comparison. They boys all stared up at her guiltily, completely at her mercy. Just as it looked like she was about the completely rip them to shreds, salvation arrived in the form of a sternly glaring matron.
"Miss Summers!" she said, huffing in offence. "What's all this racket? Out you go, you're disturbing my patient. Go on with the lot of you. Shoo, shoo!"
Madam Pomfrey waved her hands a couple of times as if to physically brush them from her Hospital Wing. Dawn paid her no mind. Glaring at the four boys in disgust, she turned and stormed from the room without another word. James, Sirius and Peter all shot Remus pouting looks.
"Bye Moony," they said, trudging out of the Wing with the somewhat lighter basket to take back to the House-Elves.
Dawn hurled her bag down on the desk beside Lily and dropped into the chair. Lily and Isabel watched curiously as she reached into her bag and began viciously extracting her supplies for Charms.
"What did they do now?" Lily finally asked.
"I don't want to talk about it," Dawn said shortly, slapping her Charms notes on the desk. She let her bag fall to the floor.
"Ok," Lily said.
"They just drive me crazy sometimes," Dawn ranted anyway. "I mean, how can they be so damned irresponsible? Honestly, I don't know why I even bother sometimes."
"Neither do I," Lily muttered.
Isabel elbowed her for the remark. She sent Dawn her most calming look. "Dawn, sweetie, breathe. You're starting to turn colours."
Dawn drew in a series of snarling breaths until she thought she had a hold of herself. "ok. Good. You're right. Breathing is good. I should just calm down a bit. What's done is done and there's nothing I can do about it now. And I've got to relax- if I'm not concentrating I'll never get through Charms this afternoon."
"Very good," Isabel praised her now much calmer friend. "There's only one problem with your logic: we're not in Charms. We're in Defence Against the Dark Arts."
"Gah!"
Dawn threw her hands in the air in defeat. Lily and Isabel shared a smile as Dawn piled everything she'd just pulled from her bag back in, and took the correct supplies for the class she was actually in out. By the time she was finally organised, a few more people had begun to filter in for class.
Having taken the leftovers back to the Kitchens, Peter, Sirius and James sauntered casually in and scanned the room for Dawn. She studiously ignored them as they left their bags on the three desks behind the girls and came around to stand before her.
"Hi," James grinned at all three. Lily did not bother responding (she wouldn't want to encourage him) but Isabel gave an uncertain, half-hearted smile in response.
Dawn just arched an eyebrow. "Yes?"
James did not let his grin falter, even though it severely wanted to. 'They can smell fear,' he reminded himself. He reached out to tickle Dawn's chin. "Don't be like that," he cajoled playfully.
Dawn slapped his hand away. His stinging fingers were enough to wipe the smile from James' face, but not quite enough to make him give up completely just yet.
"Kitten…" he began to plead.
"Don't you 'Kitten' me," Dawn said dangerously. "I am so mad at you guys right now. I just don't know what the hell you think you're playing at, did you even consider the consequences? All the things that could've gone wrong. I just… I don't even want to talk to you right now." Dawn shook her head and looked away.
James looked at Peter and Sirius and shrugged. Sirius opened his mouth to try. Dawn wasn't even looking at him when she held up a hand to halt whatever he was going to say.
"Don't bother."
She looked over at them expectantly. James and Sirius sighed and gave up for the time being. They went back to their own seats, leaving Peter standing alone before Dawn in her wrath. She was glaring still with her razor-sharp crystal eyes, Peter squeaked and scrambled after the other boys.
Dawn ignored them throughout the entire afternoon and evening. She sat with Lily and Isabel for the rest of the day's classes and joined Candice and Michelle with them for dinner in the Great Hall. Afterwards, while the girls were all hanging out in the Common Room, the Marauders went back to the Hospital Wing to collect their fourth.
When the four boys returned, they immediately went over to Dawn. She stood, sighing with loud annoyance, and tried to flee up the girls' stairs. But the boys had anticipated the move and were too quick for her. Moving at the speed of light, James and Sirius moved in front of her, hooking her arms over theirs and lifting her off her feet.
"Hey! Put me down!"
"Not til you talk to us," Sirius said evenly.
The rest of the Common Room watched with interest as James and Sirius dragged the struggling Dawn across the room and out of sight up the boys' stairs. Remus and Peter followed behind, after Remus spent a few minutes greeting Isabel after his latest 'emergency trip home'. He kissed her briefly, smiling sadly as he followed Peter upstairs. He was running out of great aunts' and grandparents' funerals to attend.
In the middle of the boys' dorm, Dawn was finally set back on her own two feet. She folded her arms over her chest and glared at the boys. They stared back. Unable to resist, Dawn's foot shot out, catching the shin closest to her.
"Ouch!" Sirius bent down, rubbing at his shin.
Dawn just arched an eyebrow.
"We know you're mad at us, Kitten," James said, automatically stepping back out of the range of those long legs. "But it's no good spending the rest of the year running away from us. Whatever you want to say about what we did, you might as well just go ahead and get it off your chest."
Dawn took a deep breath, steeled herself, and did exactly that. McGonagall herself could not have come up with a more impressive lecture. The boys were in complete awe of the display as she railed for half an hour about responsibility. She reminded them what could have happened if Remus had given the others the slip. She asked if any of them had ever had to see the body of someone killed by supernatural means. She demanded to know if any of them could spend the rest of their lives with the burden of guilt on their heads if Remus had happened to attack someone.
The boys just waited until she'd finished, looking at the ground. "I know why you're angry Dawn, but we were careful," Remus promised.
"Careful?" Dawn scoffed. "How could you be careful running around out in the open like that?"
"Padfoot and I are big enough to keep Moony in line," James said quietly.
We had him between the two of us the whole time, there was no chance for him to get away." He put his hand on his left butt cheek. "Marauder's honour, Kitten."
Dawn exhaled loudly. "There are a million ways in which he could've given you the slip and you know it."
Remus hung his head in shame. "I know, ok. I know. But Dawn, I've never felt like that as a werewolf before. It was like I wasn't a monster or something. I knew they wouldn't let me do anything bad, but for once in my life I was free."
It was the wistful tone Remus had taken on that wore Dawn down at last. If there was something Dawn had learned she could never do, it was deny Remus anything to help make living with who he was a little more bearable. Especially after inadvertently learning what Isabel would most likely think of him if she knew about his other side.
She nodded slowly. "I really don't like this. And I'm saying my 'I told you so's' now. But you guys think you know what you're doing, so I'm just going to shut up about it."
Peter looked up hopefully. "Does this mean you're not going to yell anymore?"
"Yeah," Dawn said, glancing around at each of them in turn. "No more yelling."
Sirius grinned. "Dare I suggest a group hug?"
"I think you dare." Dawn smiled.
She was used to the way they all sort of just crashed into each other by now, and Sirius was the only one who'd never taken care to ensure that his hands fell in appropriate places. When the others disentangled themselves, Sirius remained with Dawn trapped nicely in his arms.
"Stay tonight," he murmured.
Dawn thought about it. With the full moon and all, she hadn't spent the night with Sirius since she'd started having all these frightening doubts about everything. Maybe a reminder of how perfectly she and Sirius fit together was just what she needed to clear her mind. She glanced up at Sirius' face with a little smile.
"Sure," she said.
The other boys, mindful of the fact that Remus was still not feeling a hundred percent, made it a relatively quiet night in the dorm. Remus and Dawn read and did a bit of homework while Sirius, James and Peter lazily lobbed a Quaffle around the dorm.
"Where did you get that, anyway?" Dawn asked while Peter was chasing the Quaffle he'd missed into the bathroom.
James shrugged. "Nicked it from the Quidditch store after practice, of course."
One by one, Remus, Peter and James turned in for the night. James tossed a sly wink at Sirius before sliding the curtains around his bed and leaving Dawn alone with Sirius. Sirius drew the hangings around his own bed and automatically cast a Silencing Charm before sending Dawn a wolfish grin.
When she didn't seem to notice the mood shifting around her, Sirius crawled up beside Dawn and took her book out of her hands. She looked up, he put the book aside and began to kiss her slowly. Dawn was kissing him back, but Sirius thought deep down he sensed something forced or unnatural in her responses. He pulled back to hold her gaze.
"You're not still mad, are you baby?" he asked.
Though she was grateful for the ready-made excuse for any weirdness Sirius might've sensed about her, Dawn shook her head. "No. I mean, don't get me wrong, I still think you're all idiots. But no, I'm not mad anymore. What would be the point?" she asked wryly.
"There's my smart girl," Sirius smiled. "Can we find more interesting things to do than talk now?"
Widening her eyes, Dawn stared up at Sirius with mock innocent confusion. "Like what?"
He chuckled. "Here, let me show you."
He kissed her again, and noticed no more strangeness about Dawn as they began to undress each other. Trading clothes for bed covers, Dawn felt her body respond readily to Sirius' while her heart clenched painfully inside her chest. Her heart, mind and body were all in motion at once, almost racing each other to a conclusion. Her body was making love while her heart felt betrayed by it and her mind searched futilely for sense and reason in her whole world.
Afterwards, Sirius fell asleep quickly, his body still needing to recuperate from the lack of rest the night before. Dawn lay awake, suffocating under the arm she usually loved to feel draped over her. She watched Sirius sleeping, felt the rhythm of his breathing that usually lulled her into dreams of warmth and love, and knew that something had changed. It was her. Without fully understanding why, Dawn began to cry in silence. Sirius was too exhausted and content to wake as Dawn slid away from him. Still crying, she dressed quietly and left without looing back.
Sirius was only semi-conscious when he reached out to pull Dawn close. He wasn't worried when his hand found only empty bed; if she woke up first she'd often sneak back to her own dorm in the early hours of the morning. Much as she enjoyed spending her nights naked and in his bed, he knew Dawn wasn't so keen on the idea of getting caught spending her nights naked and in his bed.
Sirius groaned sleepily and shifted over. If he couldn't wake up with her there was always the next best thing, intoxicating himself with the warmth of where she'd lain perhaps only minutes before. After shifting around a moment, Sirius realised something that had never happened before and opened his eyes.
Dawn's side of the bed had gone cold.
A.N. Everyone hates me now, don't they? Anoron
