Alex talked with Michael for a while. He comforted her as best he could, and when she was too frazzled to talk to the doctors about Sean, he did it for her. He assured that Sean would be okay- the drugs would wear off, his shoulder would heal, and he would wake soon. Alex was allowed to see him then. She hurried into his room while Michael searched for Nikita. A part of Alex wished her best friend was with her then; Sean needed both of them as he woke. But she knew she'd stay strong for him on her own. She'd be enough comfort as he struggled to open his eyes, "Hey. Try not to move too much. It takes a while for that cocktail to wear off."

"My sisters… I have to call them," Ignoring Alex's advice, Sean tried to push off the cot. His words were slurred, and his movements were sluggish, but he had to call Jill and Sandy. He had to make sure they knew he was alright. Although the rational and coherent part of him was positive that Alex had already done that, he needed to speak to the twins himself. Neither would be satisfied unless they heard his voice and unless they knew he'd return to them as soon as he could. He didn't want them to suffer for long. They deserved some peace and hope.

"You can't," Alex gently forced Sean to lay back against the pillows. She hoped that the drug cocktail and the surgery on his shoulder were the only sources for his confusion. As he became more conscious, he'd remember the situation. Though, the back of her mind screamed that maybe Sean didn't know exactly what he had agreed to. What if he had misconstrued the meaning of the team's message in the letter. What if he only thought he was escaping the FBI, not dying. He didn't know he had been recruited. He didn't know he had given up his whole life.

"Why? Did they get hurt? What happened?" Sean continued to try and sit up. He didn't care that he was sore and woozy. He needed to talk to his sisters- any sister. Where was Nikita. What was going on. Why did Alex look so serious and on the verge of tears. He had simply escaped the FBI- hadn't he. What happened. Did something go wrong. Did Amanda try to stop the team and someone got hurt. Was Nikita hurt. Was she dead. Sean fought his rebelling body and Alex's hands to sit up. Then wasn't the time to just lie around. He needed answers. He needed to talk to his sisters.

"They think you're dead, Sean," Alex explained softly. She understood then why Nikita didn't want to be there when her brother woke. Her sister couldn't be the one telling him he had been recruited, not after what their mother had done. His girlfriend had to be the one to tell him the truth. She had to comfort him, ease him through the transition, and give him hope. Even she was struggling with the last thing, however. So she focused on the truth. He was dead to the world. Everyone believed the lie, including his sisters, who were already planning his funeral, "The whole world thinks you're dead- the FBI, the Navy. Your funeral is on Wednesday."

Although the conversation she had had with Jill and Sandy after she had talked to Michael and while she waited for Sean to wake up involved more than just discussing his funeral, Alex didn't say anything else. She'd catch him up and explain everything later. Sean only needed to wrap his head around the basic facts then. However, the basic facts didn't seem to be sinking in well. Upon hearing that he was dead, Sean looked at Alex so lost and hurt. Tears pooled in his hazel eyes, making her want to break down and cry as well. Yet she needed to keep it together for him. He needed her as he spiraled, "This is insane."

"I know. But this was your choice. I fought so this could be your choice," Taking Sean's hand in hers, Alex attempted to reassure him with her loving touch. He wasn't just recruited. He had agreed to the team's plans to save him. Though, was it a real agreement if he hadn't known the full extent of it. He hadn't known that recruitment was on the table. Why should he have. The team had promised not to recruit anymore people while they ran Division. And Nikita would've never let her brother suffer what she had. But it was the last option- the only hope to save him. He had at least agreed to let them save him by any means necessary. Recruitment was necessary.

Sean continued to stare at Alex with utter confusion and hurt. He couldn't understand what he was hearing. Or, at least, he refused to understand it. His choice had left Jill and Sandy in pain. A part of him had known that that would happen. His family was always hurt by Division. But he couldn't comprehend that he had lent to it too. It was too much for him to handle, especially as he fought the groggy pull of the drugs flushing out of his system. He had made the choice to die. He had made the choice to become the latest criminal recruited by Division, "So to the world, I died a criminal? A traitor?"

"When a new recruit wakes up in Division, they're told that their old life is over. But they're offered a chance at a new one. Maybe this new one can be something better," Alex tried to sound hopeful when she replied. However, talking about recruitment didn't soothe Sean. She needed to say something more meaningful than that. She struggled to find the right words for a moment. Then she remembered Nikita's advice to say the things she hadn't yet, and the words came spilling out, "Butterflies are God's sign that people can have a second life. People can change, they can have better, and they can keep their families with them as they fly."

As her words sank in, the expression on Sean's face changed. He looked at Alex like she was his lifeline. Everything would be alright with her by his side. She'd explain everything, she'd ensure his sisters were alright, and she'd always comfort him. Sean reached out his arms (as best he could with his injured shoulder) and silently asked Alex for a hug. She climbed into the bed with him and embraced him willingly. The two only held one another for a long time- long enough for Sean to fall back asleep. Yet Alex never let him go. She'd hold onto him forever.


After talking to Alex and checking in on Sean, Michael searched for Nikita. He didn't bother checking the gym or her old recruit room. She wanted to be completely isolated, which meant she was in a much more difficult place to reach. It honestly took Michael a few tries to follow the right path in the air ducts. Once he did, he found Nikita sitting on one of the landings in the silo. She had heard him coming, yet she didn't react to his presence. She didn't even flinch when he sat next to her; her gaze was fixed on the darkness beyond. He had to talk to her, though. He couldn't let her be alone forever, "Sean's okay. He'll wake soon. Alex is with him."

"I'm sorry I punched you in the face," Nikita responded hollowly. She meant her apology; she knew she shouldn't have struck her fiancé., no matter how angry she was. But she couldn't bring herself to express emotions. It was easier to just be numb. Her anger, her bitterness, her complete and utter despair could be forced away. She didn't have to drown in her emotions or feel the need to cry and scream. She could just float until the next distraction- until she didn't have to face what had happened. That was for the best. After all, the less she thought, the better she'd be able to survive.

"I deserved to be punched for so many different things in the past. Let's call it retribution," Michael shrugged. He expected some sort of reaction from Nikita, either a smirk or a head shake. Instead, he got nothing. She continued to stare blankly and sit stiffly. He thought about putting his arm around her to comfort her. However, when he moved closer to her, her whole body stiffened even more. She might not have cared that he had found her hiding spot, but she didn't want him to touch her. She was far too upset for that. She was probably also still angry at him. If so, he couldn't completely blame her, "Are you angry?"

"I shouldn't have let this happen. I should've fought harder," Of course Nikita was angry. She was angry at Amanda for targeting Sean. She was angry at Michael for suggesting her brother be recruited. She was angry at Ryan, Birkhoff, and Alex for agreeing. She was angry at herself for going along with the plan. And she was angry at Madeline for allowing her daughter to be recruited in the first place. She shouldn't have given in. She should've fought harder. No one would've been in that situation if it wasn't for her. It was all her fault. All of Madeline's or Nikita's fault, though, Nikita wasn't sure, "Am I like my mom?"

"No, Nikki. This was Sean's choice," Michael answered softly. He had believed that calling her by her nickname would soothe her. Unfortunately, he had made another wrong choice. Nikita bit her lip, balled her fists, and turned her gaze away. She was on the verge of breaking. She fought with herself not to, but it was a losing battle. Tears pooled in her eyes, her breath hitched, and her body shook. Michael didn't know if she was just going to sob, or if she was going to scream. When she harshly rubbed the tears out of eyes, he knew it'd be both.

"What choice? Be killed by Amanda or be recruited? No matter what, Jill and Sandy have to bury another family member. They have to grieve another loved one's death without knowing the truth. Division just takes and takes and takes. And I was supposed to stop it! I was supposed to make sure no one else suffered- that no one else had their lives ruined. And all I've done is perpetuate it! It's all my fault. All of this is my fault!" Snapping to her feet, Nikita screamed. She was like Madeline. There was no use denying it. She didn't change anything, or make it all better. She just continued the horrible cycle of hurting people for her own cause.

Slowly following to his feet, Michael extended a hand out to Nikita. She didn't take it; she refused his comfort. Although he wanted to give it anyway, he held back. Words would just have to be enough for the moment. Though, honestly, it took him a moment to think of what to say. He would never blame Nikita for what had happened; it was Amanda's fault, not hers. But he didn't know how to address her concern for her sisters. He felt guilty about that too. It wasn't fair that Jill and Sandy had to suffer so much because of Division. The two didn't get to have the same hope the team could, "Nikita, Sean's gonna go home. And so are you."

"How? He's a terrorist now. And Amanda has destroyed any way we could clear his name. Even if we get Division shut down, he'd never get to go home. He's stuck here for the rest of his fucking life!" Nikita's curse reverberated off the walls of the silo. The agents in Division probably heard her through the vents; however, she didn't care. How could she have cared about anything when she had doomed her little brother to that fate. He couldn't be freed; he couldn't be truly saved. Because she didn't fight to clear his name, he was still stuck in a prison.

The space on the platform was small. Michael and Nikita weren't far from one another. Yet he still moved closer to her. He also reached towards her despite her slight flinch. He had to get her to listen to him- to see something besides her pain, "Hey, look at me. Nikita, look at me. We can still clear his name. There's real evidence out there, and we will find it. When we take down Amanda, when we shut this hellhole down, Sean will be free. Just like the rest of us. No one is trapped here. It's only temporary. You saved your brother's life now, and you will bring him home later. You're not abandoning him. Which means you're nothing like your mom."

Nikita fought with the tears in her eyes. She refused to let them fall. She had cried enough over the situation. She didn't need to break down and sob in the silo. What she really needed to do was leave her hiding place, talk to her brother, and let herself rest of the night. Yet she couldn't move from her spot. Her bitter anger had fizzled out into outright hopelessness. She looked at her fiancé for any sort of solace as the dam broke. Her sobs nearly made her collapse, but Michael was there to catch her, "Can I hug you now?"

Unable to speak, Nikita just nodded. Michael immediately scooped her up in his protective arms and cradled her head gently in his hand. She sobbed into the crook of his neck once again, clutching his shirt to keep herself upright. Whispered words of comfort and light, tender kisses from her fiancé attempted to steady her. But it was no use. The anxiety, fear, and heartache had crashed into her. It drowned her out, and she couldn't find her way out of it, even with Michael's guiding hope, "I just wanna go home."

"I know, Love. You will. We all will," Michael held Nikita tighter. He couldn't help but notice how small and childlike she sounded. All she had wanted since she was recruited was to go home. Except, everytime she tried, she was pushed further away from it. Her latest attempts even forced her little brother in the same situation she had been stuck in for over a decade. Despite how much she fought, despite how many people she had saved, she was never rewarded. Of course she didn't have any hope. Hardly anybody would. Luckily, she wasn't fighting alone. While she crumbled, her team would stand tall and continue to fight. They'd hope for her.