PRESIDENT TV

A/N: Okay, I know it's taken a long time to update this one, but today I have not one, but two chapters.

Previously in 'Twist of Fate':

Kate was dead.

Jesus went all 'homeboy' on us.

God and Satan agreed – to send Taylor back to earth.

Oh, and Kate received a mysterious letter.


Kate walked up to the door marked 'Staff Only'. She tapped lightly.

"Who's there?" A bored sounding voice called out.

"Um, Special Agent Caitlin Todd, I have a letter," Kate answered nervously.

"Oh, Ms Todd, sorry," the voice became professional, "right this way, please."

Kate walked through a long corridor, covered in portraits of Purgatory President, Limbo Landon. Kate was ushered into a room and seated in the middle of a long table.

"Where am I?" Kate asked, confused.

"Limbo Landon, President of Purgatory, I'm sure you're wondering why you're here," Limbo said, grinning. There was a pause.

"Yeah," Kate snapped impatiently.

"Well, as you would be unaware of, you're at the centre of a spiritual debate," Limbo replied grandly.

"A debate?" Kate queried.

"Yes – concerning your future," Limbo replied.

Kate gasped and looked around the table. She suddenly noticed others sitting around the table.

"Presenting, members of the jury. The jury is made up of representatives from earth, people whom are seen fit to decide one's fate." Limbo said, waving his arms about madly. "The top 10 of 'People Magazine's' Most Beautiful People of 2005!"

Julia Roberts

Angelina Jolie

Brad Pitt

Jessica Simpson

Alicia Keys

Orlando Bloom

Lindsay Lohan and Ann Margret

Penelope Cruz

Jamie Foxx

Jessica Alba

"Woah," Kate muttered.

"What's going on?" Lindsay Lohan demanded.

"A little less talking, a little more sitting and looking important, got that, party girl?" Limbo snapped.

"Like, yeah." Lindsay snarled.

"Ugh!" Limbo shuddered. "Representing NCIS fans is fan fiction writers CSIMel and Kap0w!" Applause rang out and CSIMel and Kap0w ran over to Kate, thrusting pieces of paper towards her to sign.

"Hi guys," Kate said, uncertainly.

"Oh my God! She said 'hi' to us!" they squealed.

"Okay, moving on," Limbo said, rolling his eyes, "presenting the President of TV Land…Tyrone Vanden!"

Tyrone, (or from now on known as 'TV') waved majestically from a silver elevated chair.

"Yo, Lardo! What's happening?" J.C yelled, slapping Limbo hard on the back.

"Jesus, good to se you," Limbo winced, rubbing, his back.

"Landon my man! Long time no see!" Two teenage girls walked in.

"Emma, Kristin, hello," Limbo replied, still rubbing his back. "Kate, this is Jesus Christ and this is Emma and Kristin, Satan's head minions."

"Why do they look like teenagers?" Kate asked.

"Have you ever seen a minion, dude?" Kristin asked.

Kate shook her head.

"You don't want to," Emma whispered.

"We love you by the way," they said, grinning.

"Anyhoo," Limbo said, filing his nails, "I present to you, Dr Taylor Forrester."

Taylor walked in the room and sat down at an empty chair. She gave Kate a comforting smile.

"The writers and producers of NCIS," Limbo waved his arms to the left. "And Bellisario!"

Bellisario sat in the centre, glaring at Limbo menacingly.

"And last, but not least," Limbo announced grandly "the Kings of Heaven and Hell – God and Satan."

A hole erupted from the ground and Satan jumped out, and at the same time, a beam of light came from the ceiling and God floated down.

"Can you entrance be any more girly?" Satan sneered.

"Hey, dawg, my man G here is all man!" Jesus yelled.

"Alright, alright," Limbo raised his arms, "we're not here to fight."

"Yeah, but it's so fun!" Satan whined.

"Child," God mumbled.

"You wanna say that to my face?" Satan threatened, moving closer to God.

"Enough!" Kate yelled, "Can someone tell me what is going on?"

"Didn't you tell her, Limbo?" God asked.

Limbo looked away.

"Remind me why we hired him?" God said to Satan.

"He had an x-box." Satan answered simply.

"Oh, yeah!" God replied, smiling.

"Kate, this meaning was organized so that the powers that be can decide your future." Taylor explained.

"What are you talking about?" Kate asked.

"Kate, they want to send you back to earth!" Taylor said, smiling.

"Wait, aren't you the one being sent back to earth?" Kate asked, confused.

"Taylor, why don't we try to explain it," CSIMel interrupted.

"Mkay, lets put this in a way that Jessica Simpson would understand," Kap0w stated, "throughout the universe, there was much controversy surrounding your death. Fans everywhere were in serious denial-"

"We're talking major, serious denial," CSIMel interrupted.

"You finished?" Kap0w asked.

"Yeah, sorry."

"Anyhoo then came an influx of depressing 'Twilight' fan fiction. For the 3rd season, you we're replaced by this chick called Ziva, which spurred many Ziva-bashing fics, mainly because the fans didn't have enough time to grieve. People are still in mourning. There's even a forum dedicated to you." Kap0w stated.

"Dude, the new forum feature is kick-ass!" Jesus cried excitedly.

"Oh my God, tell me about it!" CSIMel squealed.

"Luckily for us fans," Kap0w continued, "the powers-that-be are on our side. And they can bring you back to life."

"Not true," Bellisario interjected.

"Excuse me?" Jesus snapped.

"Navy NCIS is a prime time show, not a daily soap. To bring a character back to life you need the approval of President TV." Bellisario pointed out.

"That's correct," President TV spoke up, "now let the debate begin."

A/N: So, how'd you guys like that one? Oh, it's crazy, crazy, crazy here in the crazy house. Now, some questions.

Why does Limbo have an x-box?

More importantly, why can't God and Satan just get they're own x-box?

Why is Jesus talking like a rapper?

How many people at the table?

Now review! Or I'll send Limbo after you.