Written for Klaroline Valentine's Day Bingo 2020 kcvalentinesbingo

Prompt: "His name is NOT 'Cupid McDimples'!"

Author's note: This is the much-requested sequel to Chapter 67: The Best Safety Plan, found in my Klaroline series, A Beautiful Symmetry.


It started with a dozen candy cane sorrels delivered in an exquisite crystal vase.

"Oxalis versicolors?! Those have to be shipped in from South Africa!"

Caroline rolled her eyes at Bonnie, doing her best to fight back a silly grin as she read the note from Klaus: Thinking of you. She still wasn't sure what to think of their encounter with the hot weirdo in the woods who thinks he's an immortal Viking hybrid something with fangs who buried Damon's body for them in exchange for a date with her. And he's probably a psycho killer. And a week ago she was worried her life had become dull.

And then he sent a platinum and diamond encrusted charm bracelet. From the exclusive Arcadius flame logo, she probably could've funded her and Bonnie's practice for the next year if she pawned it. It was beautifully designed and somehow perfectly tailored to her background and tastes — from the miniature eye chart and glasses charms to the scrolled letter 'C', her sapphire birthstone, and, surprisingly, a raven. How the hell did he know "The Raven" was her favorite poem?

"Cupid McDimples is stepping up his game," Bonnie teased as she eyed the shiny bracelet. "Can't wait to see what he has planned for your date. Well, our date since I'm going with you in case he actually is a crazy murderer and we need to get all shovel-happy again."

"His name is NOT Cupid McDimples! He's a random lunatic we ran into and it's entirely possible he wants to wear our skin. And damn right you're going with me since you're the one who suggested I go on the date in the first place AFTER he admitted to being in the woods for a body dump. Come to think of it, shovels might be a good idea." Letting out along-suffering sigh, she added, "Of course someone that attractive would have some glaring defects."

"Not to throw stones, but you two lovelies were traipsing about the woods for the same reason," Klaus' amused voice suddenly interrupted, startling them both. With a dimpled smirk, he held out two shovels, cheekily topped by frilly pink bows. "In case you decide to end our date by getting 'shovel-happy'."

Seriously? There was no reason for her heart to be fluttering like this over a pair of shovels. And yet it was. She couldn't remember the last time she'd been so charmed. "Are you always so considerate with your dates?"

"Honestly, I can't recall the last date I went on," he remarked, his accented voice warm and inviting. "Does sharing a glass of champagne with one of the chambermaids at Tuileries count as a date? We were having a rather lovely time before the Parisian mob invaded and the royals marked it as a prudent time to flee."

"You're seriously talking about the French Revolution. Like you were there," Caroline replied flatly, throwing an exasperated glance at Bonnie.

Swinging her shovel up until the handle rested on a shoulder, Bonnie muttered, "Why the hell not? Caroline's last date was convinced a powerful secret society is running the Starbucks franchise, which is why they're on every corner."

Favoring him with a wink, Caroline kept a grip on her shovel while linking her other arm with his. "I do enjoy a good nervous breakdown."


There was a delicious-looking meal set out in the auditorium. She'd been surprised when Klaus drove them to a community theater, and immediately squealed when she saw they were performing a series of Poe's works. "Poe is my favorite author! I had no idea this was going on."

She could've sworn the tips of his ears turned red and his voice was a bit tight as he said, "Yes, well, what a coincidence." As a handsome man with a blinding white smile stepped out of the shadows, he nodded his head at Bonnie and said, "I brought along Marcel to keep you company. Marcel is a...friend."

Bonnie studied the stranger skeptically, but Caroline also noticed a flicker of interest in her friend's gaze. So, clearly she wasn't the only one who had terrible taste in men. "And I suppose Marcel's a werewolf-vampire Viking too?"

"Actually, I was a plantation slave in Louisiana. Just a little over 200 now," Marcel replied silkily, with enough of a flirty undertone that Bonnie's eye twitched.

Caroline snorted, telling her friend, "See? I told you all the hot ones were crazy."

Marcel threw back his head, laughing. "I've been perfectly sane for years now. The Quarter Coven isn't nearly as powerful as they think."

As Klaus held out a chair for Caroline, he wryly answered, "Now, let's not be too hasty — you weren't under a spell when you summoned my father to try to kill me after you returned from World War I."

Seriously?! French Revolution. Werewolf-vampire Viking. Plantation slave. Witch coven. World War I. Caroline exchanged a look with Bonnie, in which they wordlessly weighed the hot-to-crazy ratio of their dates and decided to just roll with it. Besides, the dating pool was far too shallow in their little town to be overly picky. What's a bit of crazy between friends?

The antique sconces along the walls began to flash, signaling the performance would begin soon despite the empty theater. Confused, Caroline leaned over to whisper in Klaus' ear, "Are we early? Where's the rest of the audience?"

Marcel gleefully explained, "Klaus bought out the whole place. In fact, he actually hired them to—"

"Try the saffron crab cakes, Marcel. It seems your mouth needs to be occupied," Klaus interrupted, cheeks slightly pink as he couldn't quite meet Caroline's inquisitive gaze.

Was Marcel going to reveal that Klaus paid an acting troupe to perform Poe's works because he was her favorite author? Seriously?! The last date she went on wanted her to reimburse him for the drinks because she ended the date early after he told her that he and his twin sister just loved blondes and 'shared everything'. "You're really setting the bar high for our second date," she told Klaus, enjoying the hopeful gleam in his gray eyes.

"Second date? That's quite forward of you, sweetheart," he teased. "I'll need a bit more wooing before I agree to a second date."

She couldn't help but return his impish grin. "Then I probably need to figure out your favorite author."

"I'm quite fond of Chaucer. Now, he's heralded as one of the greatest English poets of the Middle Ages, but in his time, kept getting into quarrels with those who believed legitimate literature should be written only in French or Latin. I might've had a compelling argument in ensuring his proper burial at Westminster Abbey."

Caroline rolled her eyes as she replied, "And after that, you gave Columbus directions and helped Henry VIII hire a divorce lawyer."

He chuckled, caressing her hand with his thumb. His voice low and seductive as he murmured, "You are a delight."

Nearly identical snorts came from Bonnie and Marcel's table, but Caroline couldn't be bothered as her heart did that fluttery thing again while Klaus looked at her. Onstage, the red velvet curtains rose to reveal a cozy fireplace and an actor in a wingback chair. From the ominous bird perched on the bookcase overhead, it looked like she'd be treated to her favorite poem first.

Since it was Poe, the shrill screams backstage seemed to blend perfectly with the foreboding atmosphere, and it wasn't until the sounds of furniture breaking and muted thuds against walls reached her ears that Caroline realized something was wrong. The lone actor who'd been sitting in the chair seemed paralyzed with fear as a pale young man strutted onto the stage, a single trail of blood at the corner of his mouth.

If it wasn't for the blood, Caroline would've dismissed him as another pretty boy who'd never love anyone as much as he loved himself. The supercilious curl of his smile gave her chills — not to mention the black veins that crawled underneath his eyes. Plus, there were fangs. Actual fangs.

"Klaus, I've come for your kingdom — and your head," he proclaimed with a snarling hiss.

Wow. Apparently monsters are a thing. Caroline couldn't help her knee-jerk reaction as she blurted out, "So, werewolf-vampire Viking or plantation slave?"

Although clearly in shock, Bonnie managed to reply, "Probably not plantation slave."

Klaus snickered, seemingly pleased by the women's ability to keep a sense of humor during this bizarre situation. "Actually, Lucien's just an upstart stable boy."

As Klaus and Marcel both bared their fangs, leaping onto the stage to face off with Lucien in a whoosh of air that was impossible to comprehend, Caroline started thinking that maybe those shovels would come in handy after all.