"Flame and Shadow"
Arianna stared entranced at the flames; hot tears gushing down her scratched cheek. Without any knowledge, Arianna immediately started taking one step after the other, walking with extreme difficulty towards the direction of the roaring fire. All sense of rationality and well-being left her thoughts and the only thing she focused on was getting as quickly as she could to her home, the home she left behind in search of a better life, the home she was slowly about to lose because of her leaving it in the first place. The moon was completely hidden behind the blackish clouds and the wind blew cold and harsh, stinging her open wounds.
On foot, Arianna struggled onwards down the small sloping hill and entered into a field of high growing wheat stalks. Pushing her way through the tall pale shoots, she may not have noticed but she was heaving heavily with sobs, her chest shaking madly with her every sigh and her thoughts were all a large tangle of sticky webs. Questions of grief, anger, bitterness, regret and blame came shouting out till the only question she wanted to scream out was… why?
Why? Why? Why? Why?
Her foot sunk into a hole of damp mud and she dropped heavily unto the ground, Arianna wiped away her flowing tears with a bloody and filthy hand as she stood back up and continued to plow through the wide field of crops. Once again, she felt as if she was walking in a dream like state, how could everything that was happening to her so fast and so terribly be real? Stumbling and staggering miserably, her physical pain starting to become numb as a more powerful anguish inside her tortured her even more.
Grandfather… grandfather… no…
Finally, she reached the other end of the fields, which was at a close distance to a burning structure, which she remembered to be the wheat mill. The heat of the flames blew strongly towards her and the only sound she heard was the cackling of the fire devouring every material it caught on to. Her damp face, still shining with tears, at last ceased. Her cold body immediately warmed by the heat of the terrible roaring flames. Arianna looked around in panic, her surreal façade fading tersely, her eyes widened as she glanced around for somebody… anybody who could tell her where she could find her grandfather.
But the ash covered dirt road and the searing edifices were empty. Arianna broke into what you might call a half-run. Her right leg supporting all her weight as her left one throbbed excruciatingly when moved. She edged away from the flaming houses as she began looking for her own, trying hard to remember where it was situated amidst the blaze, heat and smoke.
Then, she realized that she had to go through the blazing furnace to seek her cottage; she held her breath and pressed on, dodging falling scraps of smoldering debris. Her body was drenched with her heavy trickling sweat that made her sore wounds sting all the more. A large piece of burning wood tumbled from one house and nearly rolled her over had Arianna not foreseen it coming and jumped quickly aside. Her body was boiling in the heat and she felt light headed as she kept on. Her lungs felt cramped and ached for fresh air, she could hardly breathe. Then, Arianna saw it.
The barn!
There it was, the red barn, highflying flames all around it. Arianna dared not try to take a step towards it, but she desperately wanted to find out if the animals got out and were somewhere, safe and unharmed. Limping towards the large shelter, expecting to see the barn door flung wide open, and the tracks of the beasts on the dusty ground, she cried out in horror when she saw that the door was barred with a long log stuck through the handle and there were no tracks of any kind on the ground. She moved closer and stopped suddenly when in the midst of the cackling of the flames, she heard many loud thuds on the door. She waited and prayed that at least the horses or even Bettina would make it through. She lingered anxiously.
The pounding then stopped, the eerie wailing of creatures in agonizing pain sliced through the flames and there followed, to Arianna's most horrid surprise and bewilderment, the cry of humans from within.
Arianna turned away from the revolting site and headed for her cottage, which unlike the previous ones, had just newly started to burn. Sprinting as fast as she could on her good leg towards since the small wooden cottage was crumbling and blazing away at a very rapid pace. She swallowed hard at the sight of her burning home and moving quickly, she frantically started searching for her grandfather.
Grandfather, where are you?
Staggering here and about, Arianna looked everywhere, screaming out his name in a hoarse voice,
"Grandfather! Grandfather! Answer me! Grandfather!"
She ran towards the opposite side of the cottage and when she did, she stopped once again and closed her eyes. The gruesome feeling she had inside was sinking deeply into her. Everything was too familiar! She had been here before, seen all these images before, she then realized her pain of anguish was felt by her before as well. Now, she was stiff and immovable with fright, afraid about what she knew… what she will be about to see, petrified with the thought that all her nightmares were transpiring into reality… scared to face the last crucial scene of her horrendous vision.
When she turned the corner, it seemed for a moment that the world had stopped turning and time had froze. It was as if she was walking in her sleep, she wanted to believe she was still dreaming but she couldn't. Arianna stepped forward and slowly opened her eyes, watching in slow motion as the moving flames ate up her home. Her eyes turned to a figure lying supine on the ground, a safe distance away from the heat of the flames, in what seemed to be a pool of dark liquid. It was her old grandfather, Baltook.
His name at first came at a whisper from Arianna's dry lips as she budge her heavy feet towards him, then it grew increasingly louder, tainted with craze and emotion as she rushed towards his side, dropping the empty quiver and her bow on the ground.
"Grandfather! Grandfather! Oh! Grandfather!"
Falling heavily on her knees into the dark liquid, which she knew but did not want to believe, was her grandfather's blood. Crying out aloud, fresh tears bursting out from her eyes as she clutched his withered, bloody hand and held it close to cheek. She surveyed her grandfather excruciatingly with the light of the powerful flames, his old grey eyes were closed, his clothes torn and ripped leaving him almost half-naked, and long and deep gashes were bleeding strongly across his aged gaunt face and skeletal body. Burns and blisters were all over him as well and he looked as battered and beaten as an old decaying piece of cloth.
Arianna wondered if he could still be alive, she gripped his hand with one of her own while the other hand caressed his face as she pleaded despondently, "Grandfather… please! Wake up! I've come home, dear grandfather. Please, open your eyes. I'm home. I'm home, grandfather. I've come back."
She waited for him to respond, but her grandfather lay still. She gasped out in despair and laid her head on his chest, sobbing uncontrollably. Whispering his name over and over again.
Then, miraculously, the old man stirred a little, trying to speak, then mumbled weakly and inaudibly,
"Arianna…"
Arianna's head jerked up at the sound of his deep, familiar and loving voice calling her name, she timidly said, "Grandfather?"
He whispered her name again and Arianna called louder, "Grandfather!"
Filled with immense relief, joy and renewed hope, she instantly took her grandfather's head into her arms and held him gently rocking back and forth, smiling wearily through her tears. Hardly believing he was still alive, she stroked his thinning silver hair that was streaked with blood and spoke in a soft voice,
"You're alive! Oh grandfather, I knew you would never leave me. How could I go on without you? You're alive! We're together once again. Oh grandfather, you must know how much I've missed you so. I—"
"A-Arianna!" Baltook cried out interrupting her. His eyes opened wide with an emotion Arianna was not familiar with. Arianna looked at him with immediate concern and worry, wondering if he was in such deep pain.
"What is it, grandfather? Tell me!" she asked as she watched her grandfather trying with difficulty to make out his words, his hand on her arm gripped her with such unnatural force and Arianna recognized that the emotion that shined in his eyes was not pain, it was fear.
"The box! Wooden box! You must retrieve the box! Arianna, fetch me the box! It is hidden underneath my mattress. Arianna! Hurry! Before it is too late! Hurry! Hurry!" Baltook gasped as he painfully spoke to his granddaughter, clutching her sleeve with a tight grip before releasing abruptly and heaving in husky gasps.
Arianna, thrust backward, looked back towards the flaming cottage and casting one bewildered glance at her grandfather's mangled figure and guttural cries of pain, she pushed herself up from the ground and faced the sweltering heat that blew harshly at her. The lower section of the cottage had not yet been engulfed with flames, and the back door was flung wide open, its light material slowly catching fire. Arianna had to move fast if she wished to comply with her grandfather's fraught command, it was pure folly to dash in to a burning house, but the commonsensical ability she had had already dissolved a long time ago and it had not yet returned. So, without a second thought, and the urgency of her grandfather's voice ringing in her head, she held her breath and ran inside.
Thick black smoke and the sizzling heat of the fire engulfed Arianna and stung her light brown eyes, causing it to water. Rubbing the back of her hand, across her eyes, she bent down towards the cracked wooden floor and started crawling. The fiery ceiling was crumbling above her, as she crawled through debris, ash and other burning material to reach her grandfather's room just on the other side.
She hardly took notice of how disheveled and wrecked the kitchen had been, broken chairs, tables and antiquities. Torn pages, shattered glass, pottery and wood littered the floor. Arianna brushed all these obstacles aside as she passed through… she was nearly there. When she reached her grandfather's room, Arianna could hold her breath no longer and as she gasped out and breathed in the dark smoke, her lungs shrunk and she choked. The heat and haze was making her extremely dizzy and lightheaded, she nearly swayed to the ground but she caught herself and moved inside. Sputtering and convulsing tremendously, she glanced around with watery eyes for Baltook's mattress.
She found it covered with black rubble and dust towards her left and she clambered towards it. Shoving her hand underneath the black mattress, she felt around scrupulously for something, anything! But nothing came in contact with her hand except the wooden floor that slowly heating up. Arianna looked up, the ceiling was nearly coming down with flames and if she didn't hurry, she would be pinned beneath the flaming wood. Her body was burning in the heat and her lungs begging for air, Arianna pleaded with mercy to the gods,
Please! Don't take me away just yet! Please! Help me!
Arianna pushed her arm deeper into the mattress till her cheek brushed against the black grime and her fingertips felt the hot wall, running her hand all over for object she was seeking for. The cackling roar of the flames deafened her resounding cry as she searched deeper. Then, she suddenly felt a thin piece of material that was coarse and torn; she grabbed a handful of the material and started to tug it out from underneath the mattress. Arianna knew she had to move quickly to remove the item or else pass out from the heat, smoke and flames. Thrusting her other arm in and diving underneath the thick mattress she grunted with effort as she pulled the object, cloth and all, out from underneath. It was a rather large burden to hold, wrapped carefully in a used blanket, but it was bearably light and without a moment to lose, Arianna scrambled out from the room just as loud cracking noise followed after her. The ceiling had finally fallen right upon the very spot Arianna had been lying on. If she had lingered for a few more moments, she would have been dead. Not wanting to remain any longer than needed, she rushed, as quickly as her injured leg would allow, to the back door with her head bent down and the covered object pressed to her chest.
When Arianna had burst out of the flaming door, the back of her shirt had caught fire. Like a large sword of burning steel was pressed to her spine, the fire blistered her and she screamed in excruciating pain. Arianna then staggered to the hard soil outside, she dropped on her knees and rolled her limp body over and over till the flames had been extinguished. Turning to her side, she winced as the scalded skin of her back was exposed to the chilly breeze that whisked by. The swathed box still in her arms, she remembered her grandfather. If she were in an average person's state, her body would not permit her to move a single inch more after being bruised, cut, sprained and burned but her strong willed mind and her passionate heart forbade her to lie immovable on the ground. Her long, tangled scarlet hair was slight burnt and soiled with ashes, dust and grime; her tanned skin was coarse, wounded and bleeding.
Her grandfather's body was not far off, she moved in the most painless way she could manage towards him, the box under her left arm as her right arm aided her in motion, as she crawled towards Baltook.
When she finally reached him, she pushed herself up with her palms on the bloody ground, every muscle, nerve and bone in her tore and stretched as she rose in a sitting position looking over the old man.
"Grandfather…" Arianna whispered as she gently shook him. "I've taken the box. It's here in my arms, safe and whole. I've done what you asked of me. Grandfather? Please speak to me…"
But her grandfather dull grey eyes shone with an unnatural light, staring into oblivion, fixed upon an unknown world somewhere Arianna could not see.
His mouth was moving rapidly, but no sound escaped from his lips. It was as if another spirit had taken possession of his body and mind.
Arianna shook him gently, "Grandfather! Grandfather, please…"
But Baltook remained in his anomalous state, Arianna shook him harder with more desperation in her voice…
"Grandfather! Oh gods please! Let him answer me! Grandfather!"
Then, from his mouth emerged the distinct sounds of a strange and faraway tongue, soft and mystically slurred, almost as if he were singing the words to her.
Arianna felt a strange aura enclose around her and in her head she could hear a slow numinous voice resonating in the air, moving in and out like a soft breeze, then she felt something gentle and comforting embrace her from behind,
Ďėŏ ŏū ģōę ěöñ εǎŦ Ёχτ řľŞ
Ĥĕ Ōĵě ěŖŐūŋ
Đô õũ ōİīţŏ ŎāĜĚ Čľą έίαδ Ŋžij Ōưΰžš ƠũǍ
Ďėŏ ŏū Ǎžǽŷś Šýù Ĵİį
Ęß Û ĭóĥģ äęķѓї Ãήǐωǻςį
Ďėŏ ŏū ģōę ěöñ εǎŦ Ёχτ řľŞ
Ĥĕ Ōĵě ěŖŐūŋ
ŹэΪ Ѕηǎ ƯрнСŕ Ĵň Ţǎı ЋǎŨ ŦʼnǾ
Μū őōŧŧơ Ǎžžšέυ
Ãήǐωǻςį Ęß Û ĭóĥģ äęķѓї…
The voice slowly faded away. Arianna opened her eyes and as she tried to ruminate as to what had taken place, she glanced around her. It was as if she was looking at the world with new eyes, everything seemed so different when in fact nothing had changed. The distress and the turmoil she had felt so strongly was ebbed away and she somehow felt as if she was leaning against a comforting fortification, drawing strength and hope from it, but though Arianna's tears had dried, she still felt that perplexing nerve tingling within her and she was filled with doubt as she looked at her grandfather with troubled eyes.
His voice was softened to a mere murmur and the enigmatic blankness of his eyes regained its natural color. Then, as if for the first time realizing Arianna was looking over him, he started. His grey eyes widened with disbelief and wonder as he stared up at her. Arianna managed a small wincing smile, but her grandfather failed to return it with another.
He was silent for a moment as Arianna held her arm underneath his head and she called out his name again.
Baltook replied, "Arianna… Ýë ñõėė ĆêÍ àᣠʼnīď Đôô ʼnīĊĊ áĴÿ…"
Her brows tightened with confusion as he spoke her name again, still uttering the unknown tongue to her, urgency shone in his eyes and it was clear that he conveying to her a very important message. His voice grew weaker but she still couldn't comprehend anything he was saying.
"Đēö ïČă Ǻŀŀ Ōŋũţ Łī Ĝŕŕęŧŧǎńïë Ãήǐωǻςį… ďïťħēѓ ĴŎ Ťơưįį Żīĩ…."
"Grandfather, what do you mean? Tell me what you are saying!" she begged. But it seemed as if Baltook had not heard her,
"Ďėŏ ŏū Ǎžǽŷś Šýù Ĵİį Ãήǐωǻςį Ęß Û ĭóĥģ äęķѓї…"
Arianna didn't know what to do, she strained to understand him but she couldn't. The words pouring from his mouth were nowhere near to the Northern dialects he had taught her long ago. The language he spoke seemed so unreal, so distant, as if it had originated from a faraway land of mystic and fantasy and yet she felt a strange and distinct familiarity in his words, similar to the inkling you have when you hear a familiar lullaby, you can't distinguish the words but you remember the melody.
Her voice filled with emotion and her hands trembling as she cradled the old man's head, the swaddled box laid at her feet, she declared desperately,
"Grandfather! Speak plainly! Please! I must hear what you are trying to say! Say no more in this strange tongue! Grandfather! I can't understand you! Please…. Grandfather, speak to me!"
"Arianna… my granddaughter…"
The girl nearly collapsed with relief, "Yes! Yes! It is I, Arianna!"
He droned softly in the Northern tongue,
"I have done all I could in my true king's name. You must go on. For you are the One who will lead us to victory from this accursed darkness."
"No, grandfather, speak plainer, still I cannot grasp what you wish of me!" she entreated earnestly.
Unpredictably, the old man smiled kindly and he raised a grazed knuckle to brush down her stained cheek, "Forgive me, my child, I have done you a great wrong."
Arianna covered her grandfather's hand with her left one as she shook her head, "No, what do you mean? You have done nothing wrong to me grandfather. You are the most loving, gentle and compassionate man I've ever known. How could you do me wrong?"
"I only wish I had been more sentient to have confided in you sooner but I see that for the very first and last time, my rational thinking had been controlled by my passionate emotions thus resulting to what you see before you now. But, the gods willing, my true king would forgive his loyal servant knowing all that has been done was done in the will of love and honor."
"Grandfather, you are speaking in foolish riddles." Arianna spoke shakily, trying to lighten the situation, "Come, we must seek aid from someone nearby. You have very deep and grave wounds grandfather, and they must be attended to—"
"Stay awhile and heed my words for it will be the last you will ever hear from me."
Arianna paused, hardly believing what he was saying, "No, grandfather. Think not of that! You are not going to die! Not while I am here! You will live, grandfather, believe it! I do! So you must as well!"
He shook his head faintly, "My spirit is slowly slipping from my grasp and I do not have much time, so listen to me Arianna."
Arianna glanced down at his aged face, the face she had loved unconditionally through her entire life, the face that laughed and smiled with her, that scolded and taught her, that raised and loved her, was now badly bruised and slightly scarred, she saw the pain he endured and the weakening of his hold on her hand so she remained silent, longing to break down and cry but the tears had simply stopped flowing a while ago, she had none left in her to shed.
"How I have longed to accept you as my own, but, my dear child, it was not meant to be. I have dreaded this moment since I've taken you under my wing and now it has finally come and I must leave with no more than a few words."
He heaved a painful gasp and grimaced in agony as he struggled to continue, Arianna was plunging deeper into her confusion, everything was happening so fast…
"Grandfather, how can you say that? I am your own!"
"No…" he whispered roughly and then in a softer tone he spoke as he gazed into her anxious light brown eyes, "Ahh, my child, you have grown to be so much like your mother and your father's spirit radiates in you like the blazing sun. Remember, how I've always said you were a very special child Arianna, and indeed you are."
Arianna's lip trembled and her eyes started to water.
"So young, so little you know, and so much you have yet to learn and understand about your past and who you are—"
His breath cut short as he took another heavy and difficult gulp of air.
"Arianna, my time is come."
"No…"
But Arianna's tears that she thought had ceased to flow, was trailing down her cheek. Her grandfather was gripping tightly unto her hand and she stuttered passionately, "Don't leave me like this Grandfather. I have to understand! Only you can help me understand!"
"In time, you will…" he gasped and he closed his eyes for a moment that Arianna believed him to have passed on but before long he opened them again and Arianna at once started to believe, his time really had come.
"Arianna…" he started, "Fear not the darkness, my child. May the gods of Kannaham and the light of the Animasi lead and protect you always…my granddaughter. In time, all that you wish to know will be revealed to you. Listen to your heart always… now… Go…" his last word softened to a whisper, his strength fading and his eyelids fluttered as his head swayed unsteadily.
"Grandfather! Grandfather!" Arianna called out to him as his head started to sink down to his breast.
With his last ounce of strength, he muttered a final prayer to the gods and breathed his last word with exigency, his grey eyes widened with fear and the glint of passing death, "GO!"
The weight of Baltook's body lapsed heavily into her arms, his eyes slowly closed and he drew breath no more.
"NO!" Arianna sobbed strongly as she held her grandfather's lifeless body in her arms. Crying out his name, imploring him to open his eyes and to speak to her once more but she knew he could no longer do either. Her own body was half-bathed with blood and she felt her life and energy drain out of her as she continued to weep uncontrollably.
Looking around, she screamed hopelessly, "Help! Somebody! Please help me!"
But there was no one there. No one near to hear her desperate call, or to answer her distress… Who could hear and save her now?
"Please… Help…" she whispered as she bent her head and continued to cry helplessly. She pressed her cracked lips to her grandfather's cold forehead and held him tighter.
Don't leave me… not now… not like this… please…please…
Grief, desolation, confusion and sorrow enslaved Arianna and she felt utterly powerless and senseless as she rocked her grandfather's body back and forth on the bloody ground. What could she do? Where would she go?
Baltook's cottage was nearly burned down and a few of the other edifices ablaze were slowly dying out but many were still roaring with unquenchable flames. Its bright fiery light was casting a frightful illumination on the shadow where the young peasant girl knelt. The corpse of her grandfather lay in her arms and an object swaddled in filthy covers rested near her feet.
Arianna gazed up at the blackish red sky, illuminated by the fiery glow of the fire and dulled by the imminent dark clouds approaching.
Her grandfather was gone. She was alone.
