I'm not one to usually address each reviewer individually, but since I've only two for Chapter 20, I'll give it a go.
Firage: Um, I don't know if you are joking or not. Maybe I'm taking this a litter too personally, but you're basically blaming Pan for her own rape because she loved MT. Let's see, he knew Pan liked him. He chose, of his free will, to start dating Pan. She never knew he was only using her. While I can understand disliking Pan, because we all have our no-so-favorite characters, but I can't understand blaming her for MT raping her. No offense.
Azure: This was not intended to be a P/V fic, but it sort of morphed into something that might be one, but it definitely won't be the main focus. I'm partially paying homage to one of my favoriest fic writers, Klara-in-Flares. She had a fic, "The PV Affair" that I loved, but she never finished. This still is a MT/B fic, as you will see.
This is kinda to everyone. I have to remind folks, I don't do "happy" fics. I do, painfully realistic fics with real trials and emotions and yes, just sometimes, the main characters can be unlikeable. I go for quality of writing and content, not just the juicy lemons in-between. I hope you guys can appreciate that. I love you guys, the two reviewers I have left :)
Enough Yappin'...on with the show.
Chapter 21
MT looked out onto the water, the calm pool reflecting the last violet and azure rays of day. He sat alone, like he often did, thinking about the past few months. How he was hurt. How he let that hurt hurt others. This is not what his mother wanted him to do. Is this why she worked so hard to fix the shuttle? Broke her own heart to watch her only son go...so he could be who he was? A liar, a cheater...completely broken. And then, there was Dominican. It was as if she didn't exist. But, she didn't, right? She was dead, he let her die. And here, she was married...off limits.
MT laughed at himself. So adultery was off limits, but incest was not. His own hypocrisy amused him. Was he kidding himself about his feelings to the love that almost sent him into a depression so deep, he seriously considered suicide? Never! The thought was...unimaginable.
But, did that mean he didn't love Bra?
Of course not! He loved her more than the world he fought to protect. He would scorn the whole world to be with her. He DID scorn the world to be with her. Then, why did he hurt so bad?
Pan...
Dominican...
He couldn't face any of them. Not the women he claimed to love. Not the family he claimed to love. Not the father he grew to love. He felt just as alien as if he were to step on Vegeta-sei. Nothing he did seemed to yield the correct result. There was no one he could turn to with his problems, Bra was wrapped up in her own issues with the situation. Why did no one understand him? No one understood him like his mother...or Dominican.
She was in his thoughts more than ever. More than when she first died. More than when he stepped into the time machine. He dipped his hands into his pants pocket and picked out a crumpled piece of paper he carried with him everywhere. He scanned it and let out a deep sigh. It was Dominican's office number. She had given it to him when they met in the park upon his arrival to this timeline. He had meant to someday use it, but he never did. But, he kept the piece of paper.
"What's that?" a female voice asked, causing MT to nearly jump out of his skin.
"Nothing, Bra," he said, stuffing the number back in his pocket.
"Didn't look like nothing," she said, folding her arms across her chest.
Bra had cut her hair very short, to the ears in a very sexy bob. It made her look older, more mature, more like her mother. The buttons of the blue blouse she wore strained against the fullness of her bosom, which was now heaving in anticipated anger. Shit was already rough enough with him hiding stuff from her.
"Don't worry about it...where did your father go earlier," he asked, trying to change the subject. She rolled her eyes at his attempt, but played along.
"He went to see Pan," she said, sitting down on a large rock next to MT. She picked up a smaller pebble and made it skip on the water before her.
"Pan? Why?"
"How am I supposed to know? He doesn't talk to me," she shrugged.
"How things change," MT commented to himself.
"He wants me to talk to her. I don't want to talk to her," Bra revealed, without being asked.
"You want to talk to her as much as I do. You just don't know what to say," MT said, sitting down next to her.
"Oh, and you do?"
The pair looked out as the sun disappeared below the horizon and the crickets chirped louder. Their spot was still as peaceful as it always been. A stark contrast to the complexities of life. MT sighed and put his arm around Bra, hugging her.
"I don't apologize for loving you, but, what happened with Pan...it shouldn't have happened," MT said.
"I know, I feel bad...but a part of me just wants to smack her," Bra said, face turning red from irritation.
"I double-dare you," MT chuckled.
"I mean...she decided to keep the baby...yet from what I hear, she acts like she hates it. If I were pregnant by a man a hated, no offense, I wouldn't keep it just to torture it," she said, putting her chin in her hand.
"It's not that easy, Bra," MT said.
"Maybe so, but she shouldn't be doing it just the same," Bra concluded.
"Maybe you should talk to her if you feel so strongly about it."
Bra growled at his suggestion, an indication that he was correct but she did not want to fully admit it. What had stopped her was fear of Pan's reaction. Remembering their last meeting, she did not want a repeat. MT helped her train, ans she became stronger. Sometimes, she could see the proud look on Vegeta's face, but those glances were few and far between. She had lived her life being the helpless damsel in distress, but she enjoyed it no longer. She did not want to feel so powerless, but she had to admit she hadn't at all reach the level Pan had.
"She would rip me a new one," Bra said, already conceding.
"Not if, for a change, you came as a friend."
MT sounded as if he knew for sure her tail would be fine. Go as a friend? When she hadn't been a friend for so long? When she couldn't even tell her best friend her darkest secret. If Pan had know, she never would have continuously gone after MT...she would have backed off. They used to be so close and she treated her so bad for so long. But, that didn't excuse how she was treating that baby inside of her. That baby was more important than their differences. Something had to be...
It was agreed then. Bra decided to take both MT and her father's advice and see Pan. She had been agonizing for months about it. Truth was, no one really wanted to be around her. She was surprised when Goten went after MT, to try to win her back. Goten still loved her, despite everything she had done, everything she had said. She admitted she was wrong about the whole Paris ordeal much later, but Goten no longer cared, at least, he pretended not to care. He just sat in front of the TV watching Sailor Moon Super S, shrugged his shoulders and told her it was no longer his concern. She had loved him. She didn't want him to be afraid of her father, but she ended up being the coward.
In her isolation, she developed the gift of controlled flight, though it still took a lot out of her. She left MT behind at the park and flew over to Pan's house, somewhere she hadn't been in over a year. She missed Videl and her cooking. For such a powerful woman, she was a perfect cook, just like Aunt Chi-Chi. Bra loved her mother, but Videl seemed to have more of a maternal instinct, while Bulma was just nosy at times. She worried over how Videl would react to her. Hurting her brother-in-law and her daughter. But, she couldn't run anymore. She had to face the music.
As Bra landed at the house, the door flew open. Videl was standing in the doorway with an apron and stern expression. She did not look pleased in the least. There was enough drama without the Queen there to stir the pot.
"What do you want?" Videl snapped, her eyes narrowing at Bra. Gohan was now behind her with a hand on her shoulder. Through his thick glasses, she could see the hate in his eyes.
"I want to see Pan," Bra said with as much courage as she could muster.
"Why?" Gohan said, stepping in front of his wife.
"I think that's between she and I," Bra said with perhaps a bit more sass than she was allowed.
Videl had to grab her husband firmly by the arm as she shook her head. Bra sighed on the inside, for in her dark eyes, she could see a tiny bit of understanding. A very tiny bit...
"This is my house, so I will suggest you watch your tongue or I will rip it out. She is in her room, you know where it is," Videl said, stepping aside for her daughter's nemesis to enter.
Bra stuck her chin out and walked past the married couple, looking both in the eye as she walked into the house that remained unchanged since her last visit. She could feel the heaviness, though, the tension in the house. Gohan shook with anger, watching that woman infect his home with her presence.
"Why did you let her in?" Gohan said through gritted teeth.
"She seemed sincere...besides, may it's time to start healing," Videl said, though she was still as angry as her husband.
"Only when she's maggot food," Gohan said, walking away from his wife.
"Gohan! You can't mean that. She's still a girl," Videl yelled with tears in her eyes. This situation hurt her more than anyone, but she rarely let it show. She was often the calming force in the storm.
"And she's still responsible for her actions," he yelled back, walking towards his wife again. "Why couldn't she just be honest? Because she was ashamed? That's no excuse. You remember how heartbroken Goten was for so long...even before they were revealed. He wanted to marry her! And what did she do? She's a whore," Gohan said, nearly at the top of his lungs.
Videl put her hand on her husband's cheeks and forced his head to look down to her eyes, streaming with painful, salty tears. Her hands were trembling, as well as her lips. Gohan inhaled deeply, trying to calm himself as best he could.
"She didn't know we'd understand. She didn't know there was nothing she had to justify, falling in love with someone else when that someone else was MT. Yes, she is responsible for her bad decisions, but I honestly believe, deep down...she didn't want to hurt Goten or our baby," Videl said, biting her lips, trying her hardest not to break down.
"Look at what she did to us, Videl...just look. She didn't just lie. She was mean and hateful and vindictive...I can't forgive that," he said, turning his face away from his wife's to hide his own tears.
"It's not for us to forgive her," she said finally, bringing her lips to his cheek, kissing him softly.
Bra tried her best to ignore the argument, but her enhances Saiyan hearing wouldn't allow for that. It was an unwanted side-effect of the training. She swore if she started growing a tail, she'd be done with it all. Besides, she hated to sweat. But, she was sweating. Her tough facade she erected in front of Videl and Gohan melted with each step that led her closer to Bra. How was she supposed to start everything? Perhaps she should have followed her first instinct and not have come. Bra started to turn on her heels when the bedroom door opened.
"Running away again," Pan said, stopping Bra in her tracks.
A hot flash hit the demi-sayian, she didn't know if it was fear or a fireball engulfing her. Deciding it was the former, she turned around to face the female taunting her. She was barely recognizable. Her bangs were over-grown and covered dark eyes surrounded by puffy, dark circles. The mass on her head looked like a ball of yarn a kitten played in and discarded. Her now-large breast sat on her even larger stomach, supported by long, sturdy legs covered by stretch pants.
"Your father said you were to chicken to face me," Pan continued, smirking.
"What else did Father tell you?" Bra asked.
"None of your fucking business," Pan said, putting her hand on her expanding hip.
Pan was fully roused and ready for confrontation. Vegeta's pep-talk did more for her spirit than she could have ever imagined. It's as if he breathed fire into her soul and ignited her passion to live again, to be alive again. To do more than hate, again.
"I shouldn't have come," Bra said, waving her hands in defeat and turning back around.
"No, you shouldn't have. Go back to your brother's bed...that's the only place you're wanted," Pan shot.
Harpooning Bra through the heart couldn't have been more effective. She froze, letting the words register in her brain. After it did, anger washed over her. She fought to remember why she came. Why she was willing to endure the harsh words and intimidating stares. The baby. The baby, it was all about the baby. She had to focus on the baby. Bra inhaled as if it were her last breath and slowly turned back around, causing the pregnant woman to cock a brow and mild interest.
"Look, I know full well you hate me and the father of your baby," Bra started.
"You mean you and your lover, mainly, your brother," Pan said, rested against the doorway.
This would be fun.
"Damn it. I don't consider MT my brother...but, that's not what I came," Bra continued, trying to get her mind right.
"Then why did you come?"
"You shouldn't be starving your baby just because you hate us," Bra blurted out without reseveration.
That caught Pan by surprise, and it was evident on her face. After a moment, she brought to hand to her lips and chuckled devilishly. Silly rabbit.
"You give yourself too much credit. Yes, it's true, I was not eating...but I had no appetite. I tried to keep food down, but I was too depressed. You know, finding out the man who said he loved me sleeping with his sister on the side...telling me I'd 'get over' him so you to could live in sin...it did a number on me. But not once did I try to hurt my baby intentionally. I'm not a vicious rat like you. I loved MT. I loved you for so long, even when you were treating me badly. I loved you like a sister...but I didn't even know you, just as you don't know me. And now, because you hear gossip, you think you can come here and tell me what to do with MY baby with your brother, I'm sorry, I mean your lover?"
Pan laughed again. Bra's silence spoke more than her words ever could. Who the hell did she think she was fooling? She didn't care about her or her baby. If she did, she would have showed up a long time ago, not when she was on the brink of birth.
"Look, Pan, I'm sorry," Bra said.
"Saying 'sorry' became obsolete some months ago, Bra. Just...go. Go home to Daddy. Tell him how brave you were today. Then, crawl into your lover's arms and leave me alone. My baby and I will be fine without either of you," Pan said, this time, her voice was lower and filled with pain.
Damn it, she thought to herself. Damn her to hell.
"Good Kami, Pan...stop thinking just about yourself. You weren't the only one hurt!" Bra yelled.
"I know! You broke Goten's heart too, you tramp! You remember what I, your best friend, did to try to mend things between you two?" Pan retorted, throwing Bra off balance.
"I remember," Bra whispered.
"Bra, this isn't something someone just 'gets over' like failing a quiz or, in term you can understand, losing your favorite purse. I knew you were hurting, even when you were mad at me. I came to you. I tried to get you to talk to me. Because I loved you," Pan said, fighting tears. "I loved you despite everything. Can't you understand that? Do you really know what it is to love someone, Bra? Do you?"
Pan wiped the tears from her eyes and sniffled a bit, trying to regain her composure. She didn't want to let on that she still cared, but she did, perhaps more than she should have. Bra lowered her eyes, taking in the words of her former friend. For once, she really listened...and she thought about her words before she spoke.
"There's no excuse for what I did. I am concerned about the baby...and you," Bra said. It seemed like the only reasonable thing to say.
"Well, tell your boyfriend he doesn't need to come visit me like you did. I've gone all this time without him. I don't want to see him," Pan said, cutting her eyes away.
"But he's the father!" Bra exclaimed.
"He didn't care much about that when he still tried to fix the time machine to escape, or when he nearly cried when his mother destroyed it. You aren't the only one up on the gossip," Pan spat, her anger returning to her.
"Pan, it's different now!" Bra exclaimed, putting her hands around Pan's.
She absently looked down, but did not immediately push her away. Aside from Vegeta and her mother, this was the first contact she had with another person. She missed it, though it wasn't something she was ready to admit.
"That's about the only thing you said I can believe, Bra. Goodnight," Pan said, slinking away and shutting her bedroom door.
She didn't get to the bed, she leaned against the heavy wood and slowly began to cry. Months of anger had begun to melt off of her heart in one, meeting. She wasn't ready to forgive her. She still wanted to be angry. She was angry Bra took away her anger.
"I am sorry," Bra whispered through the door, knowing Pan could hear.
"I know," Pan whispered back, letting the tears flow freely.
