A/N: This chapter didn't pan out at all like I thought it would, but I'm happy with it and I hope you like it too. And I also just want to say that I'll be gone for a week, but I'll probably update pretty soon after I get back.
Oh, and one last thing… To prevent any confusion: the first italicized part is italicized because it's overlap from the last chapter and the second italicized part is italicized because it's a flashback.
4 –The Past (Jay's POV)
We're at Alex's place now… She was right –I really did need to calm the fuck down. All that beating Homochuk would have accomplished would've been getting us kicked out of the mall. Hell, the queer probably would've even pressed charges. But still… Lexi didn't have to go and kick me in the balls… I place my hand over them (to, you know, make sure no other damage can be done) and concentrate on some stupid infomercial on TV –keeps my mind of the pain. And, damn, does it hurt like a bitch right now.
"Do you want, like, some ice or something for that?" Lexi asks after awhile.
I shake my head 'no' and stay concentrating on the TV.
I hear her sigh. "Look, all I did was kick you in the balls so you wouldn't kill or get killed by Dylan –I don't see why you have to get all pissy about it."
Okay… she thinks I'm… Damn… "I… I'm…" I sigh and turn to look at her, "I'm not pissed off about that."
"Um, okay… then what's with the silent treatment? Usually I can't get you to shut up."
"I… don't know," I say quietly before turning to face the TV again. I really don't know why I'm not talking to her. I mean, if I'm not pissed about her damaging the family jewels then why the fuck aren't I talking to her… I sigh. Maybe… Maybe I just… "Why did you want to go to the mall?" I ask –I need to know.
She looks surprised. "So, you're talking to me again?"
Duh. "Lexi, could you just… answer the question?" I look over at her, "Please?" That's probably one of the first times I've said 'please' but… I just need to know this…
She hesitates awhile before answering. "I- I wanted to see if Paige would be there… I wanted to… maybe… work things out between us…" She looks about ready to cry.
And it's all my fault… Jesus, why do I always have to fuck things up? Damn it, Queereye was a jackass for just blurting out that Cheerbitch boinked Furby two seconds after Lexi broke up with her… but I was just as bad. Picking a fight with the gay kid? What am I? Stupid? He wouldn't have lasted a second against me… and then Homochuk had to come to his girlfriend's rescue… and… fuck. Things just got out of control…
And for once, I'm going to try and make things right… I scoot over to Lexi and wrap my arms around her. I lean in to whisper something in her ear…
"I'm sorry."
It's been a week now since the thing at the mall and Lexi has just been moping around the whole time. Damn it, why did Queereye have to tell her about Blondie and Furby? Why couldn't he just keep his mouth shut for one God damn second?... Whatever. Lexi's not going to be all mopey for much longer because today me, her and Seany-boy are going to hang out. It'll be just like old times… I sigh… Well, it'll be just like old times except for the fact that me and Lexi aren't together anymore… I'm outside her place right now and I knock on the door. Emily opens it and smiles –giving me a hug as well. "Jay! Come in!" She's always so happy to see me. It's nice. I walk in and take a seat on the couch. "Lexi will be ready in a minute. Can I get you anything while you wait for her?"
"Nah, I'm good. Thanks." Emily grabs a beer for herself and takes a seat next to me. "So, uh… is Chad here?" I ask more to make conversation than because I actually care.
She takes a sip of her drink and shakes her head. "No, honey, he's out buying some aspirin." She smiles at me some more and puts her free hand on my cheek. "You're such a nice boy -just like my Chad," she sighs, "I still don't see why Lexi won't take you back."
"We've already covered this mom," Alex says as she walks into the room (and damn do she look hot), "Jay's not my type."
Emily sighs. "Fine, Lexi. What exactly is your type, then?" she asks –frustrated.
Alex rolls her eyes. "Girls, mom. Girls are my type."
Emily just sighs again.
And takes another sip of her beer.
Lexi grabs her keys, puts on her sunglasses and walks over to the door. "Come on, Jay. Let's go."
I get off the couch and follow her out. "Bye Emily."
"Bye kids! Have fun!" I hear Emily say before Lexi shuts the door behind us.
The car ride over to Seany-boy's place is pretty quiet. I just… I just can't help thinking about what Emily said earlier. "You're such a nice boy –just like my Chad." Just like Chad… I don't want to be just like Chad. Hell, I don't want to be anything like Chad. It doesn't take a genius to know the guy's a total asshole. I know how he is with Emily and Lexi. Sure, he's always piss drunk when he beats them around but that's no fucking excuse.
I remember back when me and Lexi first knew each other –she never let me come over. I'd always ask her why I couldn't come, but she'd never answer me. She'd always just punch me in the arm and say, "None of your business," and then we'd go back to stealing Pokemon cards from the kids at school or whatever shit we liked to do back then. Of course, finally one day I bugged her about it enough and she gave in. She took me to her apartment… And when we got there I was kind of disappointed. I had expected her place to be behind the town dump, or cram packed full with relatives, or a cardboard box out on a street corner –but it wasn't. It wasn't any more of a shit hole than my place.
"Alex, I don't get," I said after looking around a little, "Why didn't you want me to come over?"
"Maybe I didn't want you stinking up the place." Even back then she was sarcastic as ever.
I rolled my eyes at her. "Come on, Lexi. Tell me the real reason," I said pouting. "You know you can't resist a face like this," I winked at her.
"You're right. Who could resist feeling sorry for a face as hideous as yours?" she laughed.
I laughed too –before giving her a kiss on the cheek… because even back then I was head-over-heels for the girl. She gave me a funny look after I kissed her. "What was that for?"
I shrugged. "I dunno… So, you wanna play a game or something?" I asked.
She nodded and we went in her room. We played cards for a while and then played on the PlayStation I 'borrowed' from some rich kid from school. We had fun. We always had fun together… And before we knew it, it was nighttime. She was just about to finish kicking my ass at 'Crash Team Racing' when she suddenly dropped her controller. "Shit! What time is it?" she asked –grabbing my wrist to look at my watch. "Shit!... Uh, Jay, you need to go." She grabbed me by the wrist again and practically dragged me out of her bedroom.
"Lexi, why-" before I even had time to finish my question I saw the door to her apartment open and slam shut. Two people had come in, a woman and a man, and I knew they were both pretty drunk –I wasn't stupid. And, in that instant, I also realized that this was why Alex didn't want me to come over…
The man was gripping the woman's arms so tightly that I was sure he was going to leave bruises. He was screaming right in her face.
She was crying.
I don't know how long I was standing there for, but I do know that, as soon as the man hit the woman, Lexi ran over to the two. "Stop it, Chad!" she screamed while punching him square in the stomach, "Get away from my mom!"
"Mind your own business, you stupid little bitch!" he screamed at her.
And without giving it any thought, Chad pushed Lexi to the floor and kicked her hard in the ribs… And right then and there I felt like teaching Chad a lesson, but I didn't (which is probably a good thing considering I was only a scrawny little twelve year old and Chad could have beaten the shit out of me). Instead I quickly picked Lexi up off the floor and carried her over to her room. It wasn't hard –she was so damn tiny back then. I locked her door and set her on her bed. I turned the radio on too –to drown out the noise coming from the living room a little. Then I sat down next to her and put her head in my lap. She was crying and I remember I kissed her forehead.
"Shh, it's okay. Everything's going to be okay," I said trying desperately to get her to stop crying. I always hated seeing her cry.
She looked up at me. "Will you stay here?" she asked between sobs.
I lifted her head up off my lap so I could lie down beside her. I wrapped an arm around her and held her close to me. "I'll stay here forever if you want me to," I said quietly.
She looked right into my eyes –and straight into my soul. "Promise?"
"I promise."
Alex looks over at me from the driver's seat. "Huh?"
I look around. I'm in Lexi's car. And it isn't moving. We've made it to Sean's place…
"Jay," she says to get my attention, "You alright?"
I nod. "Yeah, I'm fine… I just… spaced out a little."
"A little? You were completely out of it for the whole ride," she says getting out of the car. I get out too. "You're not high, are you? Because I might have to kick your ass if you toked up without me," she jokes while shutting her car door.
I laugh and shut my door. "Come on, Lexi, do you really think I would risk getting my ass kicked by you?"
She laughs and we walk over to the stairwell of Sean's apartment building. Alex doesn't bother locking her car. It's not like anyone is going to steal the piece of shit anyway. She stops when we reach the bottom of the stairs. "So, if you're not high, then what the hell got you so spaced out?"
I stare at her, not knowing how the hell to answer her question. "I- I was just…" I sigh… "Do you think I'm like Chad? Is that why you… you know… went the gay way? So you wouldn't end up like your mom."
She chuckles. "Jay, although I'd love to blame you for making me 'go the gay way', not even you are a big enough jerk to do that. You can't turn someone gay…" She pauses to take her sunglasses off and look at me straight in the eye, "And no. You're nothing like Chad."
I smile. "Thanks," I say quietly.
"No problem."
She starts to walk up the stairs, but I stop her. "Wait…" she turns back around and raises an eyebrow, "I- I just have one more question to ask you."
"What?"
"… Do you remember that night…" I gulp, there's a lump in my throat for some reason, "…Do you remember that night when I first came to your apartment?"
A sad smile is on her face.
"Yeah…" she reaches for my hand, "I remember."
