A/N: Sorry it took longer than I thought it would to update –I had a serious case of writer's block on this story… and I still do, slightly. So, sorry if this chapter isn't very good (the ending is seems pretty corny, if I do say so myself)… As before –the italicized part at the top is overlap from the last chapter. Oh, and you might notice that I wrote "The ...?" at the top of this chapter as the title… Yeah... that's because I ended up taking this chapter in a different direction than I thought I would so the old title didn't fit anymore. Any suggestions for a new title would be much appreciated (as well as any comments) -and, fyi, my titles are always The + A Noun.

5 –The ...? (Alex's POV)

Jay's been quiet for the whole car ride which is… weird. Not that I'm complaining. A whole car ride with no stupid comments from the smartass? Yeah, that's definitely not something to complain about. Of course, it's still… weird. I take my eyes off the road a few times to glance over at him. He's completely lost in thought (which is quite an accomplishment –his dick usually does the thinking for him). I try to talk to him a couple times but it's no use. He looks like he's on some other planet… Fuck, and if he got high without telling me I'll kick his ass.

I pull up in front of Sean's apartment building and Jay mumbles something.

"Huh?" I couldn't hear what he said.

He doesn't say anything. He just looks around a little like he has no idea where he is.

"Jay," I say to get his attention, "You alright?"

He nods. "Yeah, I'm fine… I just… spaced out a little." Like that's not the understatement of the century.

"A little? You were completely out of it for the whole ride," I say while getting out of the car. Jay gets out too. "You're not high, are you? Because I might have to kick your ass if you toked up without me," I joke while shutting my car door… well, it's not really a joke –I will kick his ass if he got high without me.

He laughs and shuts his door. "Come on, Lexi, do you really think I would risk getting my ass kicked by you?" he jokes back.

I laugh and we walk over to the stairwell of Sean's apartment building. I don't bother locking my car –it's not like anyone is going to steal the piece of shit anyway… And, right now, I'm strangely curious to know what the fuck Jay could've been thinking about during the whole time I was driving. I stop when we reach the bottom of the stairs. "So, if you're not high, then what the hell got you so spaced out?" I ask.

Jay stares at me like he doesn't have a clue how to answer my question. "I- I was just…" he sighs… "Do you think I'm like Chad? Is that why you… you know… went the gay way? So you wouldn't end up like your mom."

Okay, that was priceless. How am I even friends with this idiot? "Jay, although I'd love to blame you for making me 'go the gay way', not even you are a big enough jerk to do that. You can't turn someone gay…" I pause for a second to take my sunglasses off. "And no. You're nothing like Chad," I say sincerely –the idiot really isn't anything like Chad...

He smiles. "Thanks," he says quietly.

"No problem."

I start to walk up the stairs, but Jay stops me. "Wait…" I turn back around and raise an eyebrow. What else could the loser want to tell me? "I- I just have one more question to ask you."

"What?"

"… Do you remember that night…" he gulps, "…Do you remember that night when I first came to your apartment?"

I smile –Jay really is an idiot. How could I forget a night like that? It was… he was… that was the first time I actually felt… loved. "Yeah…" I reach for his hand, "I remember."

"Hold your horses! I'm coming," I hear Sean say impatiently through his apartment door. I hear a click and the door opens. Sean is standing there looking relieved as all hell. "Damn it, Jay. I thought you were my landlord coming for the rent."

Jay and I both laugh. Good old Seany –paying the rent never was one of his strong points.

Sean gives us a funny look, looks down at our hands and smiles at us. "Are you two… like… together again?" He asks us.

And I'm about to ask Sean what the hell he's been smoking until I realize that me and the village idiot are still holding hands… Fuck. I quickly let go of Jay's hand and glare at Sean. "We are not together again."

Sean looks puzzled. "Then why were you holding hands?"

"None of your fucking business," I say defensively –pushing past him to get inside his apartment. I crash on the couch and cross my arms over my chest. Damn it, why am I so fucking defensive all the time? Today was supposed to be a good day.

"Nice to see you too, Alex," Sean mumbles as he shuts the door. He takes a seat on some rotting old chair and Jay sits next to me on the couch.

I scoot down as far away from Jay as possible and Sean laughs. "I get it Alex, you two aren't together… So, how've you been?" Sean asks me.

"Gay," Jay answers for me. He looks kind of pissed. Oh please, tell me the moron isn't pissed at me from scooting away from him. It's not like I don't have good reason to –the guy's like a walking STD.

"Gay?" Sean looks confused. So, I guess the village idiot never told him about me and Paige.

"Yeah, did I forget to tell you? Lexi here is a big lesbo –you see, apparently I was just some experiment for her," he's smirking at me as he says this and I swear, I could deck him square in the face right now.

…But I manage to control my urge to punch. Of course, my urge to yell is most definitely still there… "How many fucking times do I have to tell you: You were not just some God damn 'experiment'?"

He glares at me. "Oh, I don't know –maybe you can stop having to tell me that after you finally tell me why on Earth you did date me!" Jay spits back.

I just sit there glaring at him.

"See! You can't even think of one reason why you ever wanted to date a scumbag like me," by the time he's done saying this, he's not yelling any more –it's more like crying… It almost makes me feel sorry for the guy… even thought he did cheat on me…

"Jay," I say putting a hand on his shoulder –but he brushes it off and gets off the couch.

He sighs. "I just… I need to be… alone… right now…" He walks off into the kitchen and, so help me God, I'm about to follow his sorry ass in there –but Sean stops me.

"Um, I'll take care of this… You just get comfy," he laughs when he says the second part –like anyone could 'get comfy' in this Hell-whole apartment.

So, Seany follows Jay into the kitchen leaving me all alone in the living room –wondering about what just happened. I mean… is Jay… in love with me? I know he sure as Hell wasn't back when we were dating –otherwise the lying fuck would have never cheated on me… And seriously, even if he had been in love with me back then… am I really that hard to get over? I sigh… Of course I'm not that hard to get over –Paige got over me in a couple hours, max...

Over the sound of Jay and Sean talking in the kitchen I can hear a soft knocking on the door… Funny. I mean, it can't be the rent man –he'd be yelling at Sean to open up… And it's not like Sean to invite friends over (and I can't blame him –I wouldn't invite friends over to this dump either). The knocking continues and I decide to just go ahead and open the door…

And it's…

Paige.

"Hi," she says unsteadily.

"Um, hey… How did you-"

"Jay told Ellie who told Marco who told me that you'd be at Sean's place today," Paige answers my question before I can even finish answering it.

"Oh," is all I can manage to say. Having her here –standing right in front of me- it's just too much to take in.

She glances around nervously a little. "So… can I come in?"

"No." …Okay, so maybe that was a little harsh. "I mean, it's not my apartment… so, I mean, I can't really say if you can come in our not… And, I mean, Sean isn't really to fond of having people over… And-"

"Alex," Paige cuts me off. "Alex, sweetie –you're rambling." She giggles a little and smiles –Jesus, how I missed that smile. "Um, Alex?"

"Yeah?"

"I- I just came to tell you that…" she sighs, "Alex, I miss you –I miss us… And, I just want you to give us another chance."

I don't know what to feel right now. She wants me to give 'us' another chance? She misses 'us'?... A part of me wants to tell her that I miss 'us' too… and another part of me wants to cuss her out. "You sure didn't act like you missed 'us'," I say flatly.

She sighs. "I know… And I know you know about what happened between me and Spinner… But, Alex, I think you don't know –you don't realize why it happened." She sighs again. "Lexi, the thing with Spin –it never would have happened if I hadn't been hurting so much that night. You- you broke my heart… and… and I just thought Spinner's furry head might cushion me from the pain a little," she jokes –and tries to laugh, but her tears get in the way.

I cup her face in my hand and brush one of her tears away. "Paige, I… I'm not good with words…" I lean in and kiss her –and hope she understands all that I'm feeling. Anger, guilt, frustration, regret, betrayal… but most of all…

Love.