July 2, 2004

Angel Grove, CA

After Nick left, I laid on the floor for what felt hours before I finally pulled myself up to my feet. There was blood when I touched my lip and pain that caused me to wince. I went up to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. My cheek was red and slightly swollen and there was a cut in the corner of my mouth that went into my lip. Blood dripped down my chin and onto my dress, ruining it. Tears welled in my eyes as I looked into my reflection. This couldn't be. This wasn't the type of man I had married. Nick was a sweet person who cared about me. He wasn't a monster that hit women and treated other people like this. I wiped my tears and cleaned my face, pointing ointment on the cut. I also changed out of my dress, throwing it in the bottom of my closet after changing into a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie.

I curled up in a ball on my bed in my old room, not wanting to be in our bedroom. I curled up and cried. I cried for Nick. I cried for our marriage. I cried for Adam and Billy. I cried for myself. I shouldn't have pushed Nick so hard last night. I shouldn't have made him come to dinner with us. Now, he was god knows where and Adam and Billy hated me. I thought about calling them or Trini but I opted not to. I didn't know if they would even talk to me. I knew I wouldn't. Not after what happened. Adam had trusted me with their deepest secret and Nick had just blurted it out like it was nothing. I wanted to go back in time and stop it from happening but I couldn't.

Around 3 am, I heard the front door open and footsteps come up the stairs. I held my breath, fear gripping my chest. Footsteps went from the stairs to our room before coming this way. Nick's figure emerged into the doorway and I saw that his eyes looked weary.

"Kim?" He whispered. "Why are you in here?"

"I don't know." I answer softly. I pushed myself up so that I was sitting. When his eyes landed on my face, I heard him let out a whimper. He dropped to his knees and crawled over so that he was in my lap.

"I'm so sorry, baby. I didn't mean to do that. I don't know why I did it. I was just so angry and all I saw was red. I didn't want to hurt you. I love you so much. You have to believe me. Please." He cried, burying his face into my stomach as he cried. "I'll never do it again. I promise. Please don't leave me. Please. I'll never make it without you here."

"Shh." I whispered, wrapping my arms around his shoulders. I rubbed his back as he cried. "I'm not going anywhere."

"I don't blame you if you hate me. I hate me right now." He whispered, looking up at me. Tears streamed down his face and for a moment, I saw the Nick I had married. The one that I loved.

"I don't hate you. It's my fault too. It got too heated. That's all. You've told me before to not get that close when you get angry. I should have listened to you. It's alright." I gave him a small smile, wiping a tear away from his face.

"I love you." He said, kissing me. It stung when his lips made contact with the cut.

"I love you too." I replied. He stood, picking me up in his arms.

"Let me make it up to you." He whispered, heading to our bedroom.

I was thankful it was Saturday when I rolled over the next morning. Like usual, Nick was gone but he did leave me a note on his pillow that said he loved me. It should have made me smile but it didn't. I got up and headed to the kitchen, turning on the coffee pot. My eyes hurt from crying, my lip burned from the cut, and my head was throbbing. Nick and I had sex after we made up, him falling asleep shortly after. I wasn't so lucky. I laid there, thinking about the events of the night until I managed to drift off. I eyed the phone on the wall in the kitchen, wondering as to whether I should attempt calling anyone. I was terrified too. I didn't want Adam to rip me a new one and I knew that Trini was probably already practicing the speech she would give me. Instead, I grabbed a cup of coffee and curled up on the couch to watch some SAturday morning cartoons.

I was half way through an episode of Tom and Jerry when there was a knock on the front door. I froze, staring at it. I wasn't sure if I should open it, afraid who might be on the other side. Quietly, I stood up and peaked through the peephole. I was expecting one of my friends but instead saw it was someone with electric blue dyed hair. Opening the door, I found Marci was standing on my welcome mat smiling at me.

"Marci?" I asked, confused.

"Hey, boss lady! How are you?" She asked, hugging me. I hugged her back, seeing she had a large black duffel bag behind her on the porch.

"I'm fine. What are you doing here?" I questioned, pulling away. I moved aside, allowing her to enter. She grabbed her bag and walked by, tossing it on the loveseat next to the door.

"Well, school finished up last week so I thought a vacation was in order. Do you know how cramped buses can be from Miami to here? I feel like a pretzel."

"Your mom just let you hop on a bus from California?" I asked, shutting the door.

"Not exactly. It was more of a solo decision I made last week. Things have been pretty boring since you ditched us so I figured I would make the trip out west to see if it was all that it was cracked up to be. Nice digs." She said, looking around.

"Marci, does your mother even know where you are?"

"She knows I'm not home." She replied, shrugging her shoulders. "Besides, she likes you. She always said you were a good role model for me."

"Yeah, when I was your boss. What is she going to think when she knows you traveled cross country to see me?"

"Who cares?" Marci asked, plopping down on the couch. She put her feet up, the leather combat boots reflecting the sunlight that came in the window. They matched the black fishnet stockings she wore under a jean skirt with a t-shirt for a band I had never heard on. "For all she knows, I'm just being a hoodrat somewhere."

"Well, you are just gonna have to call her." I said, grabbing the cordless and holding it out to her. "I mean it. Call and let her know where you are and that you're alive."

"She isn't home." She said, crossing her arms over her chest. "She took off with her new boyfriend. No worries though. She left me a credit card in case the need to eat arises." Sighing, I sat on the chair across from her.

"Marci, it's not that I don't want you here. You know I love you like my own kid. I just don't want to land myself a federal kidnaping charge, ya know?"

"That's the glory of it!" She said, sitting up. "She's not gonna give a shit if I'm gone. I'm sure she's going to be thrilled she won't have to care about me." I scratched the top of my head.

"So, what's your plan then? You're just gonna live in California now?"

"Bingo. I figured I can get a job and save up to get my own apartment."

"Where are you going to stay before that though? Do you have family out here?"

"Not exactly…" She trailed off, giving me a bright smile. "Have I ever told you how much of a cool aunt I considered you to be?"

"I'm not your aunt." I replied flatly. "And you want to crash here?"

"Please, Kim. It won't be for long! Just until I can save up for my own pad."

"What about your father? Can't you go live with him?" I asked. She laughed, leaning back into the couch again.

"Hard to do that when I don't even know where the asshole is." Sighing, I stood up.

"You can stay here but I have to check with my husband first." She nodded as I dialed Nick's cell phone number. It rang as I walked into the kitchen. He picked up on the third ring.

"Hey. Can't really talk now." He said in a rushed tone.

"I'm sorry. It's kinda important." I replied. He huffed. Behind him, I heard the sound of traffic and people talking.

"What?"

"Remember the girl I worked with? Marci?"

"Yeah. What about her?"

"She just showed up here. Could she stay with us until we figure out what's going on with her parents?" I waited for an answer but he didn't give one. I could hear him talking to someone else. "Nick?"

"She won't shut up." I heard him say in a muffled voice.

"Nick!" I exclaimed.

"Yeah. Whatever. It's fine. I don't give a fuck. I just want her under my feet." He snapped. "I gotta go." He hung up before I could reply. Sighing, I hung up the phone and headed back into the living room where Macri gave me a hopeful look.

"You can stay." I said. She squealed, jumping up and squeezing me in a tight hug.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" She said, letting me go. "I promise I won't be in the way and I will be like a live-in maid."

"You need to call and talk to someone who will talk to your mother to let her know you're not dead in a ditch somewhere." I said, shoving the phone into her hands. "Or I'll put you on a plane myself."

"Fine." She muttered, rolling her eyes. She dialed a number and brought the phone to her ear. I left the room, heading upstairs to see where I was going to put her. I thought about my old room but it still wasn't done yet. Our stuff was being stored in there at the time being. Instead, I headed into the guest room and made the bed up with sheets I found in the closet. As I tossed the pillow down, I heard her climb up the stairs.

"In here." I called out. She appeared in the doorway, her bag over her shoulder. "Who did you call?"

"My grandma. She's such a bitch. I told her where I was though and she said she'd let my mother know just how much of an ungrateful witch I was for me."

"Isn't family great?" I asked, smiling at her. She laughed. "You can have this room. It's not much but it's a bed with your own closet and technically your own bathroom."

"Sweet! That's better than my room back home." She said, setting her bag on the bed. "Thanks for letting me stay."

"What else was I going to do? How did you find me anyway?"

"I went to your place to see what happened to you. The door was wide open, the place trashed. At first I thought you were dead somewhere but then I found the note you left on the kitchen counter. I went to your friend's house first but she pointed me in this direction." I looked at her confused.

"The place was trashed?" I asked. She nodded.

"Yeah. Everything was tossed around. The couch and the bed were ripped open. I mean, I get it if you knew you were leaving but that's a bit much."

"We didn't leave it like that. Nick told me that all of our stuff got lost in the move here." She frowned, shrugging her shoulders.

"I'm not sure what happened but that's what I saw. Maybe he doesn't know."

"Maybe." I bit my lip and winced, forgetting about the cut.

"What the hell happened to your face by the way?" Marci asked, unzipping her bag. "You look like someone punched you in the lip."

"Oh. I'm an idiot and walked into a low hanging bar at work the other day." I lied, giving her a small smile.

"Had to be pretty low for you to hit it." She teased, grinning at me over her shoulder as she pulled clothes from her bag.

"Remind me again why I'm letting you stay." I shot back, heading to the door. "I'll let you get settled in. If you need anything, I'll be right downstairs."

"Actually, could you show me around downtown when I'm done? I'm hoping to get a job right away and figured looking locally would be my best bet."

"Sure. I have to get something for dinner anyway. We can go to the supermarket."

"Thanks, Kim. For everything."

"Don't mention it."

While Marci unpacked, I headed to my room to get changed. I wasn't out to impress anyone today. I felt like utter shit and only planned on going to the store and home again. I threw on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. When I looked in the mirror, I saw that she was right. The red mark was now slightly purple which told me there would be a bruise there by tomorrow. Swearing, I grabbed my makeup bag and put on some foundation to cover it up. There was nothing I could do about my lip. I couldn't put lipstick or gloss on in risk of infecting it. I would just have to go without and tell people some excuse. I was stuck between a coffee burn or tripping in the bathroom. I decided it wasn't important as I put my hair up in a messy bun on the top of my head.

Marci and I headed out, walking towards the direction of town. On the way, she told me about her bus trip here. She went into vivid detail about how she thought the guy in the back of the bus was dead until he farted extremely loud. She also told me about the hardware store and how much it sucked without me there. This made me feel good inside, knowing that I was missed. It wasn't the best place in the world to work but I did appreciate the people I worked with. I showed Marci different places to try for work as we walked, pointing out the local ice cream shop, the book store, and the little gas station near the park. The grocery store came into view on the left, people pulling in and out of the parking lot.

"This is the smallest town I think I've ever been in. It's like one of those towns you'd see in a holiday movie." She said.

"It's Angel Grove, not the middle of nowhere." I replied, laughing. "It's not that small. It just feels like it, that's all. I promise."

"I see why you came back. I like it much better than Miami. It's quiet. I don't think I've heard police sirens since I got here." As we approached the front door of the store, the automatic doors opened. Inside, I grabbed a shopping cart from the coral and pushed it through the second set of automatic doors.

"It's a whole different world compared to Miami." I replied. We headed to the right through the produce section. I grabbed some lettuce, cucumbers, and bell peppers, putting them in individual bags before placing them in the cart.

"So, when do I get to meet your friends?" She asked, playing with a banana.

"I'm not sure about that right now. We kinda had a falling out." I replied, taking the banana from her hand and putting it back.

"About what?" She asked. "Your friend didn't sound mad this morning when I knocked on their door."

"That was Trini. She's like that. It was just something stupid on my part. Adult stuff."

"Right. I forget I'm 5 years old." She said, rolling her eyes.

"You act like it sometimes." I said, glancing over at her. I put a loaf of bread in the top part of the cart before moving towards the dairy section. I grabbed a carton of eggs and placed it with the bread.

"Well, it can't be all that bad, right? I mean, you are all adults. You should all know how to move on. Especially since you've been friends for like two decades."

"Just how exactly old do you think I am?" I asked.

"I don't know. 30?" I groaned, shaking my head. "No? 28?"

"Just stop. Please, just stop." We both laughed, something that felt great after the night I had had. That great feeling stopped though as we headed into the first aisle and I spotted Tommy. He was putting a jar of peanut butter in his basket, his eyes not looking in my direction. I froze, wondering if I could back out without him seeing me.

"Whose that?" Marci asked, eyeing him.

"No one. I don't need anything in this aisle." I whispered, moving to back up. As I did, the cart collided with a small display of green bean cans. The two on top toppled over, clattering loudly to the ground. It caused everyone to turn and look at us, including Tommy. I wanted to crawl into a hole and die as his eyes met mine. I was expecting anger, him also knowing Adam and Billy's secret and being able to keep it quiet. Instead, there was an uncertain look on his face as he walked towards us.

"Hey." He said, bending over and picking up the two cans. He set them on the stack neatly. "I was going to stop by to check on you today. How are you?"

"I'm hanging in there." I replied meekly. I suddenly became aware of Marci who was staring between us. "Tommy, this is my friend Marci. Marci, this is Tommy Oliver. He's one of my best friends." I said, introducing them.

"It's nice to meet you." He said, smiling at Marci. I saw the all too familiar look on her face as she smiled at him. I knew she thought he was cute. I'd seen her check out guys at work. She looked at him like she was seeing Jesus Christ with her own eyes.

"You too." She said.

"Is there a chance I could talk to you? Maybe over coffee?" Tommy asked, turning his attention back to me.

"I don't know, Tommy. I've got groceries that need to get home."

"I can bring them!" Marci volunteered. She took the cart from me, pulling her wallet from her bag. "I'll get stuff to make dinner. It's the least I can do."

"Oh. Alright." I said, wanting to do nothing more than to strangle Marci. I turned to Tommy. "I guess I'm free."

"Let me cash out and we can go." Tommy said. I nodded, watching him head for the cash registers.

"Holy shit. He's hot. You didn't tell me you had friends like that out here."

"You're only 16." I said.

"I'm young, not blind. Does he have a younger brother that looks exactly like him? If so, I'd love to meet him."

"I'm afraid not. I won't be gone for long, okay?" Reaching in my purse, I fished out my keys. "Here." I handed them to her and she pocketed them.

"I'll have a nice hot dinner for you when you get back." She said, smiling proudly.

"Right. Be careful walking home, alright?"

"I think I can handle the harsh street of Angel Grove." She waved before heading off into the next aisle. I walked towards the front of the store, spotting Tommy receiving his change back from the cashier. He smiled when he saw me and headed towards the door where I stood. They opened and we walked out.

"Alright. Let's just cut to the chase. I know you all hate me right now. I don't need to go somewhere just to be told that." I said, stopping and turning to face him. "I get it, Tommy. I fucked up. Big time. I don't need you to pretend to be nice to me."

"No one hates you." He said. I scoffed.

"Oh really? My husband outed Billy and Adam to everyone. I don't think that went over very well."

"Well, if you had stayed, you would have seen what happened. After you left, we talked as a group. Adam and Billy came clean to everyone and we all agreed it was better this way. Yeah, it could have been handled differently but at least there isn't this secret that half of us needs to hide any more. Adam and Billy actually feel relieved now. No one hates you. I promise." I eyed him, trying to figure out if he was lying or not. I didn't see any signs of him trying to fabricate this. He seemed genuine.

"I feel like such a jackass." I sighed. "I didn't mean for this to happen. I shouldn't have told Nick. I made him promise not to say anything but he did anyway. The joys of marriage I suppose."

"Coffee?" Tommy asked, gesturing to his truck. I nodded, following him to it. I climbed into the passenger seat while he tucked his groceries behind his seat. Once he was inside, he started the engine. "Trini and Jason are having a BBQ tomorrow if you want to come. You and Nick are invited."

"Oh yeah right. Like any one wants Nick around right now."

"Look, we're all just trying to get to know him. If he's a part of your life, it's something we all have to do. Being new to town can't be easy on him and having to be around us all the time can't make it better. Just ask him, alright?" I nodded.

"I will. Thank you, Tommy."

"No problem. What happened to your lip?" He asked, pointing at my face.

"This? I burnt my lip on something this morning. It hurt like a son of a bitch but I'm okay now." Tommy gave me a hesitant look but didn't say anything before pulling out of the driveway.

Tommy and I had coffee at the little shop up the street. It was nice to sit with him and talk to him like two old friends. I really enjoyed hearing about the dojo and his students. It was something he was passionate about when he spoke about them and I could tell how important it was to him. When he dropped me off, I saw that Nick wasn't home yet.

"I'll see you tomorrow?" He asked as I took my seatbelt off.

"It's up to Nick." I replied.

"Well, even if he doesn't want to come, you still could. We're still your friends, Kim. He can't change that."

"I know. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" He nodded, leaning over and giving me a hug. On instinct, I pressed a small kiss to his cheek before sliding out of the cab. I gave him a smile before shutting the door. He waved, pulling off.

Inside, I found Marci hard at work in the kitchen cooking something. I could smell some kind of sauce and perhaps meat cooking in it. I took the chance to change back into my pajamas and washed my face of the makeup. When I came back down, I saw she was sitting on the couch.

"Dinner is done!" She said, smiling at me. "I hope you like it."

"I'm sure I will." I replied, sitting next to her.

"How was coffee with the hot guy?" She asked. I laughed, shaking my head.

"His name is Tommy. And it was fine." Sighing, I glanced over at her. "Can you do me a favor and not mention it to Nick?"

"Why? Does he not want you hanging out with him or something?"

"It's not that. It's just that Tommy and I have history and I don't know how Nick would take it. That's all."

"Sure. Secret is safe with me."