Rising Moon

Disclaimer: If HP universe were mine, Chamber of Secrets certainly wouldn't mean canalization with giant snake ;)

Takes place after 6th book.

Warning for those who hate Yaoi (male x male action) and assurance for those who love it – despite the beginning of the story, this IS Yaoi / Slash themed fic. Though nothing too graphic, there certainly is some action, so if you don't like it, don't read – or at least don't flame me afterwards.

As always, please try to put up with my lame English…

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"Why can't you love me?" she asked and though she tried to stay calm and reasonable, her voice was shaking badly. It was evening like every other, with rain silently dancing on the roof just right above their heads, with cold wind bumping into closed windows, trying to get in. As if bad weather unblocked something in her, she felt she couldn't handle it anymore. Their relationship was getting out of her hands.

She was wrong, though; he loved her very much. He loved her just like Sirius had loved her, he loved her since the time he had first seen her. She was six then, cute little girl, trying to mess with her abilities, half of her silky brown hair turning pink, one eye blue and other hazel. She laughed like crazy when they threw her to the air and caught her only to throw again. They were twenty, James was alive, Sirius too, no one would consider Peter a traitor and he himself thought that he could be happy even as a werewolf.

But those times were gone and she was no schoolgirl. No longer could she be satisfied with candies from Diagon Alley, no longer would she want his love as a brother or cousin, which he could give.

And he did not want to hurt her, to tell her the truth, for she would certainly go find some werewolf and get bitten. How could he tell her: I can't love you because you're too human for me…?

"I do love you, Nymph," he tried to lie. At least a little bit. "I do. But… it just doesn't work well."

She was no schoolgirl anymore. She couldn't be fooled so easily. She knew. And she was right.

"Let's put it to an end," said Tonks after long pause.

Remus sighed. He saw unspoken plead in her eyes, plead directed to him, so he would smile and say something stupid like "I need time," and hug her and kiss her and wipe her tears away. But he couldn't do that, he had to be true to her… and to himself. For her sake, for she wouldn't need to cry secretly anymore, for she would find someone to love.

So he just nodded, quickly packed some necessary things and gave her last, sad and relieved smile.

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"I'm glad you came, Remus," whispered Arthur Weasley and led him to the house. "Bill is acting strange, he doesn't eat, doesn't sleep, well… doesn't live."

"Do you think I could do something for him?" asked Remus and tried to avoid one very, very blaming look directed at him. Molly snorted and energetically mixed chicken soup – so energetically that almost half of boiled liquid splashed on the table.

"I'm sorry," said Arthur silently, when they climbed uneven stairs. "It's just… two broken hearts at once she can't heal."

Remus nodded – he already heard about Bill's cancelled wedding, though he didn't know circumstances. Molly and Fleur became quite attached to each other from the time Bill was bitten so Remus could imagine how big a shock it was for Molly when she learned that no wedding (and eventually no grandchild) was to come. He also knew Tonks and her good relationships with Weasleys and especially with Molly, so he already figured out that Tonks can be all cheerful and smiley just because she already cried all of her tears on Molly's shoulder. No wonder Molly acted cold towards him at the moment, but Remus hoped it would change quickly, for he liked all Weasleys and knew them for long time.

Now he had a chance to change Molly's stance – he had to pull her eldest son out of despair and depression. Arthur explained how it went when Bill returned home from hospital – they all thought he got over it, he seemed quite happy, though a little bit quieter than he used to be. And then, one morning, Fleur came to the kitchen crying, said that the wedding was cancelled and went home in the evening. From that moment, Bill wouldn't come out of his room, wouldn't eat and wouldn't talk to anyone, though many people tried.

"Even people from Order were here," sighed Arthur and showed Remus old dark-green door with letters saying B LL. "If only Dumbledore was alive."

Remus nodded – yes, they all missed Dumbledore, not just as a leader of Order and director of Hogwarts, they missed him as a friend, as a wise advisor in every case. He would know what to say to Bill, thought Remus and silently wished for some advice to come down from heavens.

"Hey, Bill… look who came to see you, dear," tried Arthur cheeringly, when they entered. Remus was surprised – he knew Bill as a lively, light-hearted person and this room was an absolute opposite. It was dark and messy, heavy air swirled lazily due to ventilation charm and bits of dust sparkled in one lonely sunbeam that was able to get in through thick drapes. Heavy aroma of long, artificial sleep filled Remus's senses, as he focused on the motionless shape on the bed.

Arthur's pleading eyes, when he took his leave, said everything. Help him, please, we are desperate.

Remus sat on the bed near Bill and for a moment, he stayed silent, not knowing how to begin.

"Glad to see you're still alive."

No response came and werewolf's dark-adapted eyes saw Bill staring at the ceiling. So he's not asleep...

"I heard you broke up with Fleur. I'm sorry about that."

After few seconds of silence, Bill reacted with cold, sad smirk.

"Says the right person."

"It's not the same. I was too old for Tonks."

"Bullshit," another smirk came from darkness and Remus couldn't help but smile.

"Maybe. But I am here to analyze you, not me."

"I didn't know you had healer's certificate from St. Mungo."

"I'll consider it – I got you to speak, it's a success, isn't it?"

Bill shrugged and continued staring at grey flowers on old wallpaper and Remus realized the best way to pull him out of his gloomy mood was to focus on something else, on something that was not too unfamiliar to Bill…

"My reason for breaking up may sound stupid, but I hope at least you'll understand."

"Because I am a werewolf?" asked Bill with sarcastic grin. To his surprise, Remus nodded.

"Certainly, though you're one just partially. My reason to leave Tonks was precisely because she's not a beast like me. And because she would become one if she learned what I feel… or if she stayed with me too long. She missed something necessary for me and I didn't want her to gain it."

Bill laughed bitterly and on Remus's lips appeared one very sad smile.

"Stupid, isn't it?"

"At least you did not bite her."

Something in the way he said it sent chills down Remus's spine. His eyes went wide with shock as he gasped and turned on the bed to face Bill directly. It just couldn't be true, but he had to ask.

"You bit Fleur?"

"Yes," came a gloomy answer.

"How…"

"That last night… we… we slept together and one moment, I felt like it – no, not just felt like it, I had to do it, it was stronger that me, urge to bite, to taste her blood, to hear her screaming from mixed pleasure and pain… I never ever did something like that… and suddenly I couldn't control myself…"

Bill's voice broke down and Remus felt strongly for the younger man. He knew how he felt; he himself felt it every month around the night of full moon, thirst for blood he learned to control after all those years but never could get rid of it completely. When he was alone, he used to eat raw meat then, to satisfy that hunger at least a little bit. It helped… not much, but it did.

And here was Bill, not yet werewolf and not completely human anymore, not able to control his animal hunger, not able to put up with his current form. Broken down from denying his needs and senses.

"Well…you're not a full werewolf, so nothing could happen to her…" said Remus in what he thought was a soothing voice.

It didn't help, for Bill just sadly laughed.

"Everyone says I am not full werewolf, I am not a real thing so I can rest assured. It's not true, Remus… though I don't transform under the full moon, I can tell people apart through my senses, for example today, I knew you were here the moment you entered the house. I can see in the dark – not exactly perfect, but well enough for me not to need any lamp. And there is also this craving for blood, even now, Remus, I feel it and I fear it, I fear that I will bite Ron or Ginny, or Mom next time, I fear it most of all the things. I am a beast, though no one wants to admit it and I fear this me I don't know."

During his speech Bill sat on the bed and looked Remus in the eyes – despair sparkling in Bill's green irises left Remus without doubt. Younger man, younger werewolf, was so scared he couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, couldn't live like other people do. He feared himself, for he was unknown to himself and no one wanted to admit that he changed.

"What should I do, Remus? You would know; you are the same… aren't you?"

Yes, Remus knew – he knew that desperate need to belong to someone, not to be alone with fears and tears. To have someone who is the same as you, or at least understand you… he knew it and suddenly he wanted to be that person for Bill, to look after him in the same way as Sirius looked after him when young werewolf wanted to cry or talk.

"Yes… Don't do anything. All those things, thirst for blood, sharp senses, even need to bite someone… it's you now. Not you, the others should try to accept you. To learn that you are same and not the same, that you're werewolf now, though you will never transform. You're dangerous, yes. But it's up to them to recognize it and live with it, and then you can live peacefully."

It was almost the same thing Sirius once said to him. Live your life and let others put up with it, theory that helped him get through difficult times in his life. Not easily and not without scars, but he always made it, with Sirius's words in his mind. And now he had to teach this wisdom to little scared and not-so-strong werewolf puppy that looked at him with doubt in his green eyes.

"It's weird," said puppy silently and Remus smiled. Don't worry; I'll take care of you.

"Yes, it is. But above all, it's true."

Silence fell between them, but it wasn't uneasy. Remus felt strangely familiar with the other man, with his deep breathing and thoughts almost showing on his scarred, confused face as he tried to convince himself not to be too afraid of his form.

Remus felt urge to hug this big child and as he learned not to resist his feelings, he did so, ignoring surprised look on Bill's face.

"Remus…"

"Shh. Cry if you want so. I am here… I am the same," whispered Remus into his messy, but still silky red hair. He smelled like sun and water, like warm earth after summer rain and Remus suddenly realized he didn't just say those soothing words – he meant them. They were two werewolves, two animals misunderstood by people, hugging in the dark room with lack of oxygen in the heavy air. Bill nestled himself against Remus's chest and hugged him tightly. He didn't cry, but his deep breathing revealed to Remus that he was trying not to.

Bill needed him, it was obvious. And Remus had only one option to choose, only one decision he wanted to make.

"Do you want to live with me?" asked Remus into darkness of the room and he felt Bill's hands tightening their grip.

"C-could I?"

Bill's voice sounded as if he couldn't believe something like that. Remus sighed with relief – he feared Bill's response – he feared his refusal.

"Pack necessary things," he ordered younger man and smiled at him, when he saw green eyes filled with gratitude.

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"Your mom will kill me for sure now," sighed Remus and opened timeworn door of his flat. In every room, there were still signs of woman's presence, though he tried to eliminate them. His senses could feel her smell even now and he didn't doubt that Bill could feel it too – that was also reason why he seemed so uneasy.

"It's definitely over," he assured Bill and younger man seemed disturbed when he learned Remus knew what he had been thinking. He just shrugged and threw his rucksack onto the old sofa.

"Can I sleep here?"

"There's free room," Remus waved his hand in the direction of door that once led to Tonks's kingdom. "Well that is, if you don't mind it was her room."

Bill shook his head:

"It's alright."

"Alright. Feel free to use anything you want."

Remus wanted to take his leave, when younger man stopped him.

"Remus…"

"Yes?"

"Thanks."

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Bill tossed on his bed and couldn't get himself to sleep. Almost three weeks passed since the moment Remus took him here and Bill felt gratitude towards older man every day, no, every minute he spent with him. Remus taught him how to release everything that could be released and suppress unnecessary things. Under his care Bill stopped regretting his breaking up with Fleur and started to feel normal. He couldn't imagine life without Remus, without his advices, his guidance and his gentle smile. He admired older man, for he was composed, calm and nice to everyone, even to those people who looked at him as on dirt on their shoes and treated him no better. Once when they went shopping to Diagon Alley, some old hags refused to sell Remus something, because they "won't sell a thing to some filthy wolf-bastard" and Bill almost murdered them, if Remus didn't take him away.

"You will learn not to take it to heart," said older man with his traditional gentle smile, when they got home and Bill wanted to oppose, but then he saw it – just a slight, almost invisible pain hidden under his smile, behind his cheerful look, in those amber eyes that saw so many crucial things that Bill wondered how could they look so softly on so many people who didn't deserve his gentleness.

So he stayed silent and just hugged Remus tightly, for he knew older man would not cry, he learned not to cry, and Bill felt pressure in his chest, urging him to cry in Remus's place. To feel all the pain Remus had to overcome in his life, to feel it and help him bear it.

Even now, when most of the people slept peacefully in their beds, Bill couldn't rest. It was almost full moon and Bill felt it again, thirst for blood, urge to bite someone. And he felt something else – need to be with someone in sexual way. Mating season maybe, he laughed to himself bitterly as he turned around and tried to listen to rhythm of raindrops on the window glass. It didn't help as it reminded him of the other rhythm, steady, slow rhythm inspired with heavy breathing and gasps…

Bill groaned and turned again so he laid on his back. He felt it, excitement rising between his legs at the mere thought of what he wanted to do. One hand slipped under the trousers of his pyjama and touched his already half-hard member. He grabbed himself and started to stroke, desperately wanting to release this need rising in him.

Soon he was moaning silently and rocking his hips against his own hand, imagining he's not alone, it's not his hand touching him and making him shake with excitement. His mind wandered off and he caught another presence except himself, though it was somehow distant.

Remus didn't sleep at all and Bill could sense his restlessness, not unlike his own. He felt blood rushing into his face when he realized Remus, with his senses way sharper, must feel him too, must know what he's doing right now…

And he didn't mind one bit. In fact he realized whose hands he was imagining, whose fingers were teasing his body in his mind. It was not first time when it crossed his mind that he would like Remus to touch him, though to this moment he only craved for older man's hugs, for his fingers tangled in his long hair, for his soft words spoken right to the ear when they talked and Bill rested against Remus's chest. Yes, he was shocked and maybe afraid, but it felt so good and thought of Remus touching him in the other way than friendly brought him to the edge of pleasure very quickly.

Bill's breath started to slow down, but not much. He rested for some time until he could no longer deny that he's not yet satisfied. He never felt totally satisfied when doing it himself; though sometimes in Egypt he was dependent on it. Even now he knew he wouldn't get any sleep if he won't do something.

He rose from his bed and sudden sound of his bare feet on the floor almost startled him, as he started to get used to quietly sensing someone's presence. Remus's presence.

As he moved closer to the door of Remus's bedroom, he could feel it stronger. Older man definitely wasn't sleeping, though it was all Bill could deduct from uneven sounds of his breathing and some movements he caught.

He knocked on the door, but no response came.

"Remus?" he asked quietly and waited. For a moment, there was absolute stillness, and then faint answer was given.

"Yes?"

Bill's voice was caught in his throat. What would Remus say if he was to propose everything he wanted to do just a moment ago, no, what he wanted to do even now? Would he hate him? Would he be disgusted? Or maybe…

That little "maybe" decided it. Bill was never the type to fear refusal, he always faced everything and if he liked someone, he always said it straight. And he saw no difference, when now he liked a man, a werewolf.

"Can I come in?" he asked and didn't bother to whisper. In this flat was no one except them and even if it was, Bill was the type to shout out whatever he thought.

"Door's open."

Bill came into Remus's room in which he never was before, for three weeks they always talked in the living room or even in Bill's room, but never here. Whole flat was furnished with old, simple and light things, mostly wooden, all textiles were soft and comfortable. Remus's room looked as if from different world – there was no furniture, only one big and seemingly very old iron bed. No drapes darkening the room from the light of almost full moon, only thick iron bars. On the bed, on the bare floor, on the walls and even on those bars, there were signs of someone – or something – using claws and teeth.

Man lying on the bed registered horrified look on Bill's face, as he smiled and shrugged:

"It became too expensive to buy new furniture every month, you know…"

Bill returned his smile and looked around.

"Can I stay?"

"What? You having bad dreams?" smiled Remus half gently, half sarcastically and Bill was shocked when he caught wicked shine in amber eyes. So he really knows…

"Something like that," he replied and tried to act like he didn't notice the second meaning hidden under the innocent sentence.

After a while Remus moved more to the end of a bed. Bill took it as an invitation and sat next to him.

"I…"

"Yes. I sensed you."

Bill blushed and Remus smiled. He loved the expressions changing on younger man's face all the time, because he himself could only smile. He had almost forgotten how to cry or frown, always smiling and telling others not to worry about him. No one ever noticed what he was thinking and what reasons he had. In some way, he was similar to Snape, though he himself didn't want to say it like that. The only difference between them was that Snape always played that tough and unapproachable, being only "that Death Eater Potion master" and Remus always smiled, trying not to hear whispers about "damned werewolves" behind his back.

But that did not matter now, here was someone who understood him or at least tried, who was more like him than anyone else. And Bill wanted him, Remus knew that. He listened to his moans just a while ago, he could smell the fragrance of pure sex next to him, see that meaningful look in green eyes watching him questioningly.

"Is it… uh…" Bill couldn't quite voice his thoughts, being so near to the object of his emotions, or maybe his lust. He wasn't sure how much Remus knew and he didn't want to make a mistake – though he was always straightforward with his feelings and needs, he cared for the feelings of other one as well.

"Do you want to know if I feel the same as you?" read Remus from his eyes and Bill nodded.

Remus did not smile. He had enough of gentle smiles hiding his true identity. Bill looked afraid at first, but when the other man leaned nearer to him, he felt relief.

"It's the Moon rising in our bodies, you know that, don't you?" whispered Remus and Bill could feel his warm words getting under his skin.

"Yes. I know. And I won't regret it."

"Me neither," said Remus and gently pressed their lips together. Bill's eager moan convinced him to get serious and he licked younger man's lower lip playfully. Bill automatically opened his mouth – it was not his first time with a man, though it certainly was his first time with werewolf's senses making him shiver from mere touch.

Remus's tongue slipped into his mouth and slowly explored every part. Gently licking, teasing, biting, everything made Bill want more and more. His hands impatiently slipped under the shirt Remus was wearing and he smiled into Remus's mouth when he eventually got into contact with bare skin. Remus's back had many scars, newer, older, thick or almost invisible. It seemed strangely erotic to Bill, as he caressed uneven skin and heard soft moans coming from Remus, as his hands came lower.

Remus drew away from deep kiss and nibbled on Bill's neck. As he continued, bites became more intense and even a little bit painful, but Bill didn't mind. He wanted to do the same, he knew it was because of the moon and for the first time he was glad to be a werewolf, to have a chance to experience something like this.

Older werewolf bit the younger one last time and pressed him completely under himself. He kissed him passionately and in the meantime untangled the tie that held Bill's trousers on. Bill's hands explored Remus's body, he never thought that werewolf was this hot and passionate, that he would take a lead and be so active. He didn't dislike it; he felt strange submission as if to a leader of pack, urge to be on his back and let the eldest do everything he wanted to do to him. Bill did not try to resist, he just surrendered to that feeling and enjoyed Remus's lips, teeth and tongue on his body, biting on his neck and shoulders, teasing his nipples, licking the tip of his hardened member. And he moaned, pleaded for more and with satisfaction looked at the effect of the sounds he made.

The beast in Remus was fully awake. Bill's submission and his low gasps made him want the younger man even more, to kiss him and bite him, to taste every part of him, to look at his half-lidded eyes filled with pleasure and his long, messed-up hair which looked to Remus like blood spilled on his bed. The sight of Bill obediently licking Remus's fingers without having him tell so sent chills down Remus's spine. Yes, he wanted younger one, he wanted him badly and he didn't give a damn about Moon, when he finally entered Bill's body and mind, he felt satisfied, complete, without regrets. Fast rhythm drew them together, kissing deeply, biting wildly, tasting blood and feeling pain mixed with pleasure, just as they both wanted to, without any fears, without having to hold back not to hurt each other. Yes, they hurt, and they didn't mind, for after each bite there was gentle kiss, tongue caressing bleeding place and wild, erotic moan coming deep from the throat.

Bill shut his eyes tightly as he couldn't hold them open, when wave of pleasure washed over him. He felt his body tightening around Remus, automatically pulling him closer to him, skin on skin, fingers of one hand entwined with the other, legs entangled and senses on the verge of exploding. Remus responded to him, answered his silent pleads with his whole body, hugging him tightly with his mouth on Bill's neck, on that secretive place of pleasure that was discovered not so long ago, and let himself go.

When Remus pulled out of him, Bill regretted the loss of filling sensation though he already knew neither of them was capable of repeating what they'd just done. It just felt strangely empty without the other man in him… luckily Remus felt the same, for his hands pulled Bill closer to him and rested against his shoulders.

"Now I should say I'll love you forever, am I right?"

He felt Remus smile with face hidden in his tangled red locks.

"Is it so important to say something?"

Bill smiled too. He was used to say unnecessary, unbelievable and somewhat stupid things in bed, he knew many of his lovers enjoyed it, be it men or women. Remus was different and for once Bill really wanted to say it, those three words he felt and knew Remus felt them too, when there was no need to say anything.

"It isn't," whispered Bill and once again covered Remus's swollen lips with his own.