Author's note: Klaus' inconvenient crush on Caroline reaches new heights when trouble finds the stubborn human yet again. How many times does he have to tell her college secret societies tend to offer a dodgy supernatural agenda at best and handsy frat boys at worst?!


Also, the KC Awards are happening now on tumblr (kcawards), and A Beautiful Symmetry was nominated for Best one-shot series! I also was nominated for:

Best AU human one-shot: A Beautiful Symmetry, Chapter 116: The Moral in the Mafia

Best comedy one-shot: A Beautiful Symmetry, Chapter 113: Did You Ever Find Your Pants?

Best Angst Multi-Chapter: Corks and Claws

Best Comedy Multi-Chapter: A Pregnant Pause

Best comedy author

Thank you so much for supporting my work and please remember to vote for all of your favorite Klaroline authors starting December 23-31, 2020!


"Love hath made thee a tame snake."

— Shakespeare, As You Like It


Nothing good ever comes from conversations that start with, 'So here's the thing,' but Klaus was optimistic. Giddy, even. Because it was Caroline Forbes on the line. Caroline, Caroline. With her sunshine smiles that held the promise of a blade if her exacting demands weren't met. She was the most irritating, charming human he'd encountered in ages and her blind loyalty to the merry band of dullards residing Mystic Falls was confounding.

Despite his single-minded pursuit of breaking his curse that led to numerous amusing (often violent) encounters with Caroline and her idiotic friends, Klaus had somehow managed to strike up an...accord with the little blonde. Sadly, he couldn't quite call it a friendship — yet. The vivacious human had pricked his soul, and he was quite certain he'd made some sort of impression. Especially given the lateness of her unexpected call.

"Klaus?! Hello? Do you know how phones work? This is the part where you speak!"

Letting out an amused chuckle, he replied, "Actually, love, I'm quite familiar with the telephone, having been present at the poker table where a belligerent Antonio Meucci lost his patent to a drunken Bell who smugly had the rather colorful Italian curses turned into a commemorative plaque for his office."

"Now is so not the time for witty anecdotes of how you Dr. Who'd your way through history. I have a problem...maybe." Her voice faltered, and the hint of vulnerability captured his attention.

Gripping his phone a bit tighter, Klaus flashed downstairs to find his keys. "What is it? Have you been harmed? Where are you?"

The embarrassed noise she made was endearing — Caroline never believed him when he confessed he fancied her, and any subtle indication of his affections were met with skepticism. And delightfully pink cheeks. "It's dumb. And I've been staring at this same stupid chapter on Maslow's hierarchy of needs all afternoon and all I've learned is that my cheeseburger craving might not be a craving so much as it is a deep-rooted need that stems from repressed childhood trauma and I think this guy has been following me all week and I was just wondering if there's a way to tell if someone's stalking you without being obvious in case they're a crazy stalker."

The words tumbled out as though she'd been holding onto them all day, and Klaus flattered himself to think she seemed slightly more at ease now that they were speaking. But a low growl erupted as he processed her words. There was no time to drive — Caroline was in danger. He flashed off to that subpar college Caroline stubbornly insisted on attending, making a Herculean effort to keep his voice calm as he commanded, "Stay in the library where people can see you and you can keep watch on this stalker. I will be there shortly."

"Klaus! I just wanted some advice from the local villain; I don't need you to come up here!"

It was one of the few times his fiery little human was wrong.


Fortunately, humans were predictable — especially miscreants in over their heads. The scuffling in the alley behind the library drew his attention. Despite his panic, he couldn't help his small bark of laughter when he heard Caroline loudly screech, "Seriously?! I told you I didn't want to join your creepy secret society and you recruited bland background white guy to keep tabs on me?!"

He arrived in time to see Caroline stomping on the foot of a man dressed in a lab coat. Vivacious little hellion. Adopting a casual tone, Klaus called out, "Fairly certain I warned you that college secret societies tend to offer a dodgy supernatural agenda at best and handsy frat boys at worst."

It was when the man wrapped an arm around her throat that Klaus felt his monster emerge. Hmm. The silence that followed his exposed hybrid features was puzzling. If the black veins and golden fire in his gaze didn't evoke terror, the twin sets of fangs always did.

As though seeing his disappointment, Caroline rolled her eyes, jamming an elbow in the man's ribs as she struggled in his grasp. "Professor Maxfield is one of the Augustines — a gross secret society of terrible humans who torture vampires and pretend it's for science."

"It is for science, you ignorant child," he scoffed, continuing to study Klaus with more fascination that fear.

"Please. It's racist is what it is. Or maybe specist," Caroline seethed, blue eyes widening as she glanced at Klaus, adding with a gasp, "Oh my god, was that offensive? I didn't mean to be."

His Caroline was in the middle of being kidnapped and she was concerned about offending him. Considering some of the more colorful monikers she'd bestowed upon him since his arrival in Mystic Falls, it seemed a bit late to worry about rudeness. Dimpled asshat was his current favorite. "Sweetheart, you are a delight." There. That dazzling smile of hers always seemed to bring out bloody inconvenient, obstinate butterflies in his stomach.

When Caroline stomped on Professor Maxwell's foot again, Klaus couldn't bite back a smile. Fearless, bloody perfect human. Turning his attention to her assailant, he growled, "It's in your best interest to release the lady. You won't survive, of course, but I will consider less invasive means of torture before your death, mate."

"Don't be absurd. Vampires aren't to be feared; they're nothing more than sub-creatures. I offered Caroline an extraordinary opportunity to become a part of a distinguished, powerful society." His beady eyes bore into Caroline's as he taunted, "idiot girl has no idea the extraordinary world she foolishly —"

In a flash of movement too quick for human eyes to register, Klaus hurled Professor Maxwell into the crowded parking lot beyond the alley, finding the sound of shattering glass and twisted metal immensely pleasing. He turned to Caroline, smirk already in place as he awaited her gratitude and effusive compliments. And possibly one of those adorable little squeals of hers.

Instead, she gasped, racing to the cars haphazardly tossed about, shrieking indignantly, "Klaus!"

He flashed to her side, disdainfully nudging Professor Maxwell's crumpled form with the toe of his boot. "Surely you're not asking mercy for this wretched thing? He tried to kidnap you, love."

She wrinkled her nose in disgust. "No. He uses science as an excuse to be a serial killer." She gestured toward the crushed cars, rolling her eyes as she said, "Do you seriously think their car insurance will cover acts of Original Hybrid?"

Frowning, he bent down to pick up a twisted bumper, squinting at the stack of broken cars to determine where it belonged. Muttering under his breath, he shoved it back in place, irritated when the bent driver's side door popped open. Using his supernatural strength, he tapped it back in place with one hip, flashing her a charming smile as he pronounced, "There. Perfect." At her incredulous snort, he added, "It's not as though these are student vehicles; the sign clearly states this area is for faculty."

"Teachers make no money in this country — how do you not know that?!" Caroline stomped her foot, the vibrations making the bumper loudly clatter back to the ground. "You're like those idiot politicians who don't know how much a gallon of milk costs!"

He smirked, retorting, "Of course I know — it can't possibly cost more than $50 or so."

She crossed her arms, a thoroughly unimpressed look on her face. Fierce little human. She was the only one in recent memory brave enough to argue with him. Tease him. And he liked it entirely too much.

Feeling the tips of his ears redden, he muttered, "I suppose I could replace the cars."

Caroline leaned up on her tiptoes, impulsively kissing him on the cheek. When she pulled away, her cheeks were flushed and Klaus was immensely pleased with himself. He affected her too.

And then he tripped over the twisted wreckage in his haste to walk beside her. Bloody obstinate butterflies.