"I hate this," Starscream grumbled as he walked up the steep hillside.
"Would you rather have me throw you up to the top?" Megatron snarled over his shoulder. A cold wind blew out of the starry sky. Starscream looked up and cringed when he saw Megatron up on the hillside above him.
"That would be unnecessary, Master," he said. There was something different about Megatron today. His field stormed around him like a hurricane as usual, but now there was a new hint of malice within his field. He hungrily gazed down at whatever was on the other side of the hill as feelings of revenge and vindictiveness flashed through his field.
He'd never seen Megatron quite like this before. Everything was happening way too fast. The uprising should have been over and the Council should already have been overthrown. Vos should already be reclaimed.
But there was a cold sensation in Starscream's tanks that told him that all of this was only the beginning.
Starscream's vents heaved as he finished his trek up the hill and stood beside his new Master. No, it seemed he would have to obey Megatron for just a little while longer. But not too long! He would escape, he knew he would. Everything would be fine. He'd serve his cruel new leader for as long as needed and then fly back to Vos beside his trinemates.
He'd be a hero.
Starscream readjusted his optics and looked down over the side of the hill at whatever sight that had enraptured his leader. A mining town was at the bottom of the large crater and glowed warmly in the night.
"Why are we here?" Starscream said.
"Fool, do you still not see?" Megatron growled. He gripped onto Starscream's helm and forced the Seeker to look down at the town and take a closer look.
Everywhere he looked he saw the bright blue glow of energon. Energon crystals were in the walls of the craters, in the roads, in piles, and made the air itself shimmer blue.
"It's… a mining city?"
"The bots of this city have grown rich and fat off of their own bounty and refuse to share it with our upright and noble cause. Those who spoil themselves on luxuries will have their frames left to spoil by the roadside. I gave them a chance to submit to my will and to hand over their fuel source…"
A sinking feeling of dread settled within Starscream's spark. A hungry gleam had entered Megatron's optics and it was a gleam Starscream was very familiar with. It was the same look Megatron had had when he first found Starscream in the ashes of Vos and it was now the same look he had as he gazed down upon yet another doomed city.
"And just like Vos…" Megatron clenched his talon into a fist, "this city will also be reduced to nothingness."
Starscream gasped and shock blared in his field, but somehow, deep down, he knew this day would come. He had just hoped it wouldn't come so soon. "But… they're just civilians, Master!"
"And we are warriors!"
"Rethink this, please! They're bots just like you and me!"
"We all come from dust. Some are destined to return to it sooner than others."
The air rumbled and a bright red light came to life on the opposite side of the city on the far rim of the crater. Another bright red light lit upon the rim lit up, and then another, and then another. Starscream squinted at the red lights all along the rim of the crater.
The red lights all turned as one and pointed down at the city. A cold chill went through Starscream's veins. He was intimately familiar with those weapons and even had plans to build one for Megatron himself.
Megatron smiled as each of the cannons around the rim lit up blood-red and shone like a ring of red suns in the night. They all hummed as they charged up and prepared to fire upon the city.
"What purpose could this possibly serve?!" Starscream shrieked. He'd killed so many bots for Megatron already, but those bots were soldiers! There was no way he could allow his new Master to take innocent lives.
He stepped in front of Megatron, the warlord's optics flared red with rage—
—and a sharp slice of pain suddenly blazed through Starscream's abdomen. He looked down and watched droplets of energon leak out of a long and thin slash across his frame. Megatron stood in front of him with his sword outstretched. A droplet Starscream's energon dripped from the tip of it.
"Do you know what the purpose of beating you is?" Megatron said softly as if he hadn't just mutilated somebody.
Starscream held his talons to his bloodied abdomen and his frame began to shake as the sheer shock of it all inundated his systems. "I… I…"
Megatron leaned in close. "I sliced you with my sword to remind you that I will run my sword through you if you choose to obstruct me yet again."
Starscream bit his lip and scuttled out of the way as he held an arm around his bloodied abdomen. Megatron smiled at the display of subservience and returned his attention to the city. He spread his arms out wide into the air in the exact same way he used to when he made passionate speeches to rally bots to his side. Except the audience was no longer a group of bots who wished to join him—the audience was now made up of bots who wished to escape from him.
"I gave them chance after chance to yield, yet they rejected each one. They think they can withstand me, so I must stand up and show them my full might!"
"Their energon… it's right under us, isn't it? A whole mine of it?"
"And I will rip open the scalp of Cybertron to access it!"
"This isn't right—!"
Megatron lashed out with his talon and smacked Starscream. The Seeker tumbled down the crater and slid down the steep rocky embankment down towards the city below. A shower of pebbles tumbled down with him and Starscream desperately dug his talons into the smooth and loose gravel in an attempt to slow his fall.
He slammed down onto a large boulder and saw sparks fly in his vision. Starscream rolled off the boulder with a groan and curled up behind it as his entire frame bloomed with pain.
The sound of distant shouts echoed through the air. A rumble traveled through the ground and reverberated through Starscream's sore frame.
He froze in terror. It was Megatron on his way to him, it had to be, he must have descended from the crater rim and now he was going to make Starscream pay for his disobedience, he'd take his energon away and he's starve—
The cannon nearest to Starscream exploded in a shower of sparks and shrapnel. Starscream looked down at the city and expected to see a bright red plasma bolt on its way to destroy the city down below.
But the air was empty and there wasn't a single bolt to be seen. He blinked and looked up at the cannon and gasped. The cannon itself had exploded and was now nothing but a flaming heap of twisted metal.
More cannons across the rim of the crater exploded. He saw bright blue plasma bolts shoot out from someplace behind him and slam into each cannon. Starscream covered his helm with his talons and held still in terror as the sound of more explosions boomed out across the entire crater. Any moment now Megatron would descend and make Starscream the full subject of his wrath, any moment now—
Starscream peered through a crack in his talons and his optics widened. The ground rumbled as an alt-mode swiftly drove past and kicked up an enormous cloud of dirt that obscured everything. Starscream coughed and waved the dust away as he shakily rose to his pedes. A blue bolt shot past him and Starscream turned around just in time to see another cannon beside him explode in a flurry of fire and smoke. Megatorn let out a guttural roar off in the distance that echoed through the entire crater.
A volley of blaster bolts shot out from the gloom, one after the other, and each one collided with a cannon. Starscream watched in silent awe as each cannon exploded into shrapnel. Where there had once been an ominous ring of hot red cannon barrels that were prepared to deliver death there were now only the ashen husks of machinery
The air whipped past Starsctarsream's frame as the unknown Autobot—it was an Autbot, it had to be, because who else could be so bold?—rapidly drove past him and sent another flurry of dust into the air. Megatron's fusion cannon flashed violet as he fired off shot after shot into the thick cloud of smoke, but every shot missed its hidden target.
The smoke cleared slightly and for a single moment Starscream saw a pair of the bluest optics he had ever seen shine through the cloud of dust. He couldn't see the Autobot, but he could still feel his enormous presence and the sheer weight of his massive EM field as it blazed with determination.
"Fool!" Megatron called down to the Autobot below. He stood up tall upon the rim of the crater and pointed talon right at the town below. "You think that you have managed to save the sparks of these measly energon-hoarders? I shall call in my air force and they will descend in thunder and fire and decimate this city down to its utter foundation!"
Megatron's voice echoed through the crater and made Starscream cringe. The unknown Autobot had no reaction, though. Starscream rubbed at his optics in an attempt to get the dust caught within them to clear away, but all he managed to do was blur his vision even more. He looked up and jolted as he realized that the Autobot stood up on the hill right above him—and had no idea that Starscream was hidden beneath him by a boulder.
"Look!" Starscream shouted over the comms. His vision was a wreck but the smoke cleared enough for him to see a flurry of movement down in the crater below. Megatron growled and his optics widened. The civilians of the city fled away in a stream of alt-modes and the rumble of hundreds of pairs of tires filled the air as they fled.
Starscream's helm swam and he blinked dirt out of his optics as he blearily looked up at the Autobot. Dust swirled in the air in thick clouds and all he could see up above him was the unknown Autobot tall upon the hill. His bright blue optics pierced the gloom of the dirt as he looked down at the city he had just saved.
For a single moment Starscream wanted what he had. He wanted to be able to look down at a city he had saved and be a part of a legacy he was worthy of. Is that what being a hero felt like? Starscream had forgotten the definition of what was truly a hero a long time ago. He'd once thought Megatron to be a hero, he had once even thought of himself as a hero, but now he wasn't so sure anymore.
An ugly emotion suddenly reared up within his field, so thick and so powerful that Starscream gagged. He knew jealousy well. A part of him knew that it was wrong to look up to the enemy, to look at them and wonder what it was like to be as strong as them—
But he couldn't help it.
Starscream gasped and cringed behind his boulder. He had just been fantasizing about the enemy, about becoming an Autobot—
His comm came to life and the deep and raspy breaths of Megatron crackled through it and into Starscream's audials.
"Ha! The heroic fool has no clue who lurks behind him and beneath him. Shoot him, Starscream, carve out his spark with a bolt of plasma and give it to me as a gift. I do not know who he is, I just know that he must... not... live."
He could still crawl away, he could still just take off and run away from the Autobot, he still had a chance to end this all. His comm crackled to life again.
"I was placed upon Cybertron to rage against the injustice of our world… and so were you. You were placed upon Cybertron for a purpose. If you refuse to fulfill that purpose…"
Megatron went silent and said no more. But he had said enough. Starscream's vents came quicker as he looked up at the Autobot that towered above him.
Was he the bad guy? Was the villain here the bot who saved a city full of civilians, or the Seeker below him with his blaster pointed right at him?
He knew the answer to his question. A wave of nausea hit Starscream and for a single moment he thought he'd purge.
The Autobot continued to look down upon the crater below, completely unaware of the villain in the dirt beneath him. Starscream blinked and wiped at his optics in an effort to prevent coolant from spilling out of them. He wanted to be the hero, not an assassin down in the dirt.
He wanted many things that he knew he would never get.
"Starscream," Megatron growled over his comm.
The faint blue glow of the mining town shone up into the sky and made the air glow blue. The silhouette of the Autobot up above cast a blue shadow down below that completely obscured Starscream. Fear clawed up his throat and he looked up at the tall Autobot's silhouette that stood upon the rocky overlook. Just a few more feet, that was all, and then the enemy would be disposed of. But was he really an enemy?
But what would Megatron do if Starscream turned and ran? How would he react if the Seeker up and left and ran away crying from a perfect opportunity to rid the world of one more Autobot, of one more enemy?
"If you refuse to fulfill your purpose…" Megatron's voice hissed over the comms. He was far up above, but Starscream felt as if the warlord was right beside him.
Megatron's blood-red optics leered down at Starscream from atop the crater rim. Starscream felt the warlord's gaze upon him and froze in fear.
This shot that he was about to fire at the Autobot would help Megatron grow stronger and continue to be even more cruel… but helping Megatron also meant helping Vos.
And oh, did he want to help the city that he didn't learn to cherish until far too late. The Autobot turned around and looked down upon Starscream with bright blue optics.
His optics widened.
Maybe one day Starscream would get to be like the Autobot on the hill.
Starscream took a deep vent, steadied himself, and fired—
Optimus and Starcream just sat there in the grass. The rest of the Autobots stood off to the side and glanced back at the two of them every few moments.
Starscream opened his intake to say something to the Prime, but then shut it. He felt like there was nothing he could possibly say that Optimus didn't already know. A part of him wanted to shove the Prime away so that he could be alone, but another and more powerful part of him wanted Optimus to stay there beside him and never leave.
The leaves behind them crunched as somebody walked up to them.
"Optimus…" Ratchet cleared his throat. "I understand that Starscream is… a bit distressed—"
"He is greatly distressed, Ratchet," Optimus said as he frowned. He looked at Starscream curled up beside him and sighed heavily.
"But the mission! We need to finish scouting this place and then leave, there's something not right here. We just have one more hill to scout, just one more."
Optimus looked up at the mountain and his field thrashed with indecision. Starscream's optics widened. He'd never seen the Prime so conflicted before. Optimus took a heavy vent and put his servo on Starscream's shoulder.
"I… I will investigate it. Bumblebee, stay with Starscream," Optimus said as he got up. Starscream opened his intake to protest, but then froze. He couldn't afford to be seen as needier than he already was.
Optimus took one last look at Starscream before he then transformed and drove up the mountain road.
That didn't seem right. Normally he would just send Arcee up to scout because she was better at it, but perhaps Prime had his reasons. Starscream wanted Optimus to just stop his little scout mission and to return to him right here and right now. The Autobots glanced between each other and tension hung thick in the air. Starscream had not felt this unwelcome since he'd first arrived at the base. Perhaps they were awkward because of his behavior, maybe he shouldn't revert back to his old ways—
No. Starscream shook his helm. He had to distance himself from the Autobots so that he could not get them accidentally hurt again. If acting like his older self was what he had to do in order to open the Autobot's optics, then so be it.
"Oh, this is pointless! We should just get OP and and go back to base!" Bulkhead groaned.
Something rustled in the trees and Starscream looked over his shoulder as a cold wind blew against all their frames. It was just the wind, he knew that, but a deep sense of intuition honed over the course of thousands of years of warfare whispered to Starscream and told him to turn around, to turn around and see—
And he saw his enemy.
The faint violet glow of Soundwave's visor shone dimly within the trees. His lithe frame was cast in shadow, but Starscream would know that sharp and slender silhouette anymore. That sharp silhouette had haunted his nightmares for thousands of years and if he lived through this insane war, then for thousands of years to come.
"Look!" Starscream shrieked as he pointed his talon at the dark trees.
The night lit up with the glow of three hot pairs of blaster barrels as the Autobots all transformed their servos and pointed their blasters at the woods. Soundwave's visor flared a deep shade of violet and the air thrummed as he melded back into the dark foliage.
"Come back here!" Starscream snarled. He was tired of Soundwave, tired of the silent mech and his schemes, tired of the way he had picked and prodded around in his own slagging processor—
A flurry of blaster bolts shot out of the shadows and the Autobots rapidly fired back at the wave of drones that ran at them from out of the trees. Starscream ducked behind Bulkhead for cover and rolled his optics as the battle raged on around him. "Seriously, this again?"
The night was lit up with bright flashes of hot red and cold blue as the plasma bolts shot across the sky like shooting stars. Starscream looked past the battlefield and squinted at the dark trees. Soundwave had returned and stood back in the shadows. He took a single step forward out of the foliage—
But then froze. He slowly turned his helm and looked up at the mountain road.
"Don't you dare!" Starscream shrieked at him over the sound of the battle.
Soundwave transformed and glided up the mountain road.
"Starscream!" Bumblebee shouted. A stray blaster bolt singed his yellow armor and he practically threw himself at the Seeker. Starscream jolted back in alarm as Bumblebee gripped on tightly to his shoulders and pushed Starscream away from the flurry of the battle.
"Find Optimus!" Bumblebee beeped in alarm as a new wave of drones emerged from the trees. "Get up the road and find him, we can't leave without him!"
"He went up the road!" Starscream shouted back. He froze.
That was the road that Soundwave had just gone up to—
Starscream turned around and ran. Optimus probably had no clue what was going on. The night was dark enough and the wind was loud enough to mask the sounds of any battles. It was just Optimus out there in the cold dark forest alone as he scouted the valley and looked out for his true enemy, completely oblivious to the fact that his true enemy was right behind him.
A blaster bolt singed the tip of Starscream's wing and he shrieked in pain as he ran up the mountain road. Bumblebee watched him with wide blue optics, but then another drone fired at him and then he was drawn back into the battle.
He would have to find the Prime by himself. No help would come.
Starscream ran.
Starscream burst through the trees and felt the air grow thinner around his helm as he ascended the road. The shrieks and booms of the battle grew quieter and quieter until soon the only sound he could hear was the quiet hiss of the wind.
"Where the slag is a Prime when you need one?" Starscream moaned to himself as he tripped over a loose root.
Something glided through the sky above his helm and blotted out the stars. Starscream looked up and froze at the sight of Soundwave above him.
"You… you!" Starscream snarled.
The air buzzed and whoever it was darted off.
Starscream ran to catch up to him, but his pede got tangled on another root and he tripped into the ground again. He pulled his faceplate out of the muck and scanned the woods—
And caught a glimpse of red and blue armor. He shot to his pedes and stumbled forward out of a thicket of trees and onto a bare stretch of rock right ahead of him. The wind rushed out of the mountain valley and blew hard against his frame as he climbed up.
Optimus stood not far ahead of him. His back was turned to Starscream and his faceplate was uplifted to look up at the stars. The stars of Cybertron glittered far above. Starscream opened his intake to call out, but another loose root caught his leg and he fell down into the soft mud yet again. The howl of the wind drowned out the sound of his fall and Optimus continued to obliviously stare out over the valley.
He walked up a steep section of rock that protruded out into the air and that afforded a view of the valley. Optimus stood upon the high rock and looked out over the valley below.
And his field was instantly filled with dread. "Primus," he whispered.
Surely Optimus had seen the battle by now. Starscream pulled himself out of the roots and rose to his pedes as he reached his talon out, ready to call out yet again. "Optimus—"
Optimus stared out over the valley with dread. Starscream could not see whatever it was that caught and held the Prime's attention. He was just too far back into the trees in order to see out over the valley.
Optimus suddenly sat down hard onto the ground as a deep swell of complete and utter exhaustion inundated his field. Starscream froze with his intake half-open and watched with wide optics as Optimus let his own exhaustion overcome him.
The wind howled out of the valley, Optimus's field groaned in pain, and Starscream remained perfectly still.
"I don't know how to help him, Elita," Optimus said suddenly. "I have never encountered a mech so utterly broken throughout the entire course of this war. I want to help him, but he is relapsing. I feel as if I have only just touched upon the surface of his pain. You would know what to do."
Optimus dragged his servos down his faceplate. Starscream had never seen anything like this, ever. Optimus Prime had always been this high and lofty figure to him—not a sad and tired mech who just needed to sit down. Yet that was exactly what Optimus was in that moment. Not a grand leader who made rousing speeches, not a great warrior; no, just a very tired mech.
Starscream suddenly got the sense that he had just intruded upon something private and holy. This was a side of Optimus Prime that nobody had seen for millennia, and if the Prime had his way, then this was a side of him that nobody would ever see ever again for millennia more.
A part of Starscream wanted him to just leave Optimus alone under the stars to dwell in his grief, but then the memory of Bumblebee's desperate words returned to him.
"Find Optimus! Find Optimus!"
Starscream took a deep vent, emerged from the trees, and ran up the rock face. "Get back down into the valley! The Decepticons are attacking!"
As he ran up the rocks he ascended in elevation and his view of the valley below was improved. Starscream looked out across the land and the sight took his breath away. A vast human city sprawled out below, tucked between two mountains and hidden there in the night.
Optimus's helm snapped around and he shot to his pedes as his field blared with shock. He stared at Starscream with wide optics.
Starscream sputtered. "I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to intrude…"
"There is a battle?" Optimus said.
Starscream nodded stiffly.
Optimus took a deep breath and smoothed his field. The exhaustion vanished and a sense of determination replaced it. "The Decepticons are being far too bold. They are almost never active this close to human settlements," Optimus walked down the rock face as Starscream followed. "I fear for the safety of the humans, for the safety of my team in the scenario that the humans discover us… and I fear for you. This mission was never intended to be a battle. You are not yet meant for battle. Which is why you will stay here until I return."
Starscream's jaw dropped. "What?!"
"Stay and I will return."
"No, no no no, you're too tired, let me help!"
Starscream's words died in his intake and his wing fell. He shouldn't have said that, he shouldn't have acknowledged the act of weakness he saw earlier, he shouldn't have, he shouldn't have—
Optimus froze and then looked back over his shoulder at the Seeker. "I am tired, yes. But I will fight for the team because it is what I must do. Stay here."
He then transformed and drove down the mountain road in a spray of pebbles and dirt. Starscream watched with wide optics as the Prime drove off into the shadows of the night.
Starscream stood alone on the mountaintop. He wanted to be distanced from the Autobots so that he could not harm them, yes, but not like this! He wasn't some broken and fragile thing you left behind you when you went off somewhere. But that was exactly what he was according to Optimus.
He stared down at the city with horror. When he was in control of the Decepticons he had been very careful to keep their mining operations as far from the pesky fleshies as possible. Now the Decepticons were practically upon the human's doorsteps. What could have possibly driven the Decepticons to do such a thing? Starscream would never have let this happen—
"Your days of glory were not nearly as glorious as you think," a voice said.
Starscream's spark froze and his optics widened.
He turned around just in time to see Megatron emerge from the woods.
"No, no, no!" Starscream shrieked. He rapidly looked around for any Autobots, but it was just him and the warlord. A purple shape beside Megatron reflected the moonlight and Soundwave stepped into view.
It was all a trap, Starscream realized with a cold chill. Megatron stared at him expressionlessly, but Starscream knew that the warlord had other ways of showing his anger. His field roiled and thrashed around him and his frame shook with barely contained fury.
Starscream instinctively stepped backward and felt the ground give out under his pedes. He yelped and ran away from the steep edge and towards Megatron.
"Oh, no escape this time, my dear Seeker. Just you, me, the empty sky, and a very far drop down. How I would love to break your traitorous spine upon the sharp rocks below… but it would be foolish of me to break you like that when I could just break your spirit instead!" Megatron shouted.
Starscream yelped and scuttled back away from the ridge's edge and the far drop. The sounds of the Autobot's fight with the drones grew louder and louder as they battled in the valley below. He saw a flash of red and blue and saw Optimus run by beneath trees down below him. The Prime looked up and saw Megatron right beside Starscream. Optimus had only a few moments for his optics to widen in horror before another drone flung itself at him and another fight began.
Megatron tightly grabbed onto Starscream's arm and began to lead him down the road. Starscream kicked and thrashed, but all he could manage to do was scratch Megatron's armor. He dragged the Seeker around the bend in the road and Starscream's optics widened at the sheer number of drones down below. The Autobots fought in a flurry of plasma bolts and the cold night air smelled thickly of spilt energon mixed with dirt. Optimus ran towards him and Megatron, but then five drones came out of nowhere and brought the Prime down to his knees. Optimus reached out to Starscream, Starscream reached out to Optimus—
And Megatron then wrenched Starscream away.
"Look," Megatron whispered softly as he tightly grabbed ahold of Starscream's helm and pointed it so that the Seeker would see the city lights far down below. "Look upon my next target."
"W-what could hurting the fleshies possibly gain you?!" Starscream grit out as Megatron's grip on his helm tightened.
"I am going to hurt the humans so that I can hurt you."
"What?!" Starscream sputtered. "That doesn't even make any sense—"
Megatron laughed as he looked down at the city. He turned around and smiled. "It reminds me of Vos."
Starscream felt a cold chill go through the air, but he wasn't sure if it had come from the wind or from his spark.
"Never speak of Vos ever again! I've had enough of you!" Starscream screamed at him.
Megatron laughed as if everything was just a joke. "You will never have enough of me. It is the way of things."
The weight upon Starscream's spark increased tenfold. One moment he was in the middle of a vast forest—-and then he blinked, and suddenly he was on the bridge of the Nemesis. He shrieked and rubbed at his optics and looked around at the forest again. Megatron loomed over him, his wrath inundated the air, Starscream cowered beneath him—
And Starscream felt like he was right back square one, as if the past few months he'd spent with the Autobots was nothing but a false haze of Primes and ghostly holoforms and kindness and oh, Starscream. He rubbed at his optics again and suddenly he was back on the mountaintop.
"Having a memory flux, my dear?" Megatron hummed. "Soundwave told me that that would be a side-effect."
The ground rumbled and Starscream hesitantly walked up to the edge of the cliff and peered over it. As the Autobots battled one group of drones another group came out of the woods. Dozens of them all pointed their blasters at the city below in one swift motion. They were still far enough from it to not be able to cause significant damage, but just a single bolt from a single blaster could still incinerate a human. A whole volley of blaster bolts fired non-stop at the city from high above—
Oh, Primus.
"You're going to hurt the city?!" Starscream asked. His optics rapidly glanced back and forth between the drones below, the bright city, and the hot red glow of Megatron's amused optics.
"Why would I not hurt the city, hmm?"
Starscream opened his intake to protest and yelped as Megatron suddenly lunged at him. Starscream's words choked in his throat and he looked up at Megatron with wide terrified optics. Megatron smiled. A stray blue blaster bolt zinged through the air and narrowly missed Megatron. He looked over the edge of the cliff and saw Optimus and the Autobots in the valley. Optimus glared up at Megatron and had his blaster extended and pointed right up at the warlord.
"Oh, good," Megatron laughed. "You will be able to watch."
Megatron's field roiled with rage and his talon clenched down hard onto Starscream's shoulder. He lifted the Seeker up into the air and dangled Starscream over the edge of the cliff.
Then he dropped him.
Starscream shrieked as he tumbled down the cliffside past sharp rocks and bushes. Optimus ran forward to catch him, but Starscream fell down on a section of rock halfway that jutted out halfway down the cliff. He coughed and looked around blearily as his disoriented gyros tried to stabilize themselves.
"Ah, how the mighty have fallen. Do you feel heroic, Starscream? Do you?" Megatron's voice echoed through the valley. "What happened to the days when you could be confident in yourself and take flight?"
Starscream blinked and waited for his optics to readjust. The warm golden glow of the city and the concerned blue glows of the Autobots all mixed together in a blur of color. Starscream rolled onto his back and coughed out dust as he looked above him. Megatron stood high up near the cliff edge and his two red optics shone light fires in the night far above Starscream.
"Starscream, come down to me," Optimus pleaded. He held his arms out and stood right underneath the rock Starscream was laid out on.
It would be so easy to just roll over and let himself fall into the Prime's arms again.
Soundwave stepped up beside Megatron and his visor flared. He glared at Megatron and the warlord snarled right back at his new second-in-command's visor.
"Do you dare judge to judge me yet again?!"
Soundwave's visor flared. "THROWING STARSCREAM: NOT THE PLAN."
"Star, c'mon!" Bulkhead called from down below. All of the Autobots goaded him on. Optimus looked up at him with wide blue optics and silently mouthed the word please.
He could just roll down to safety, he could, but everytime he looked over the edge of the rock his helm swam and he saw sparks fizzle out. Starscream looked up at the city and squinted at it. It did look like Vos.
And just like Vos, it would be destroyed.
He couldn't allow another city to be decimated. Megatron and Soundwave turned their attention away from him and continued to bicker on the cliff up above.
Starscream shakily rose to his pedes, looked down over the edge of the rock at Optimus's desperate optics—
And then climbed back up the cliff.
Bumblebee beeped in horror as Starscream crawled his way back up to the warlord. He ignored the terror that shot through his spark and slowly and steadily crawled back up the cliff face. He could smell the ashes of Vos in his vents and could still hear the cold wind whistle through Vos's skeletal heat-blasted spires—
"Wretch, this may be your plan, but I am the one in charge of it!" Megatron spat at Soundwave's shattered visor.
Soundwave unflinchingly stared right back. "PLAN WAS: TO DEMORALIZE AND TRICK STARSCREAM. NOT TO FLING HIM."
"Perhaps I should just seize the Seeker for myself right here and right now!"
"PATIENCE, THERE WILL BE PAYOFF IF WE WAIT—"
A new contingent of drones came out of the woods and stood right underneath the cliff. They lunged at the Autobots and another fight began.
"Quiet!" Megatron shouted at Soundwave. "I will do as I please and as of right now, I want to blast that city to cinders."
Megatron pointed his fusion cannon right at the city and smiled as it hummed to life with a deep hum and a hot purple glow.
"Be confident in yourself and take flight," a voice that sounded like a mixture between Megatron and Optimus's said. "Be confident in yourself—"
Megatron smiled as his cannon shook with energy.
"—and take flight."
Starscream swallowed the terror in his throat, crawled onto a loose boulder, crouched down, and flung himself at the warlord. The boulder underneath his pedes rolled away from under him and tumbled down the cliffside right towards the drones that stood right underneath. Their fields blared pure shock—
And Megatron's optics widened in surprise as the Seeker barrelled into him. Megatron stumbled backwards and his fusion cannon fired right as he began to fall.
The shot went wide and arced off into the night. They both tumbled down the embankment and Starscream rolled away from Megatron. Starscream breathlessly watched the fusion blast as it burned up in the sky and fizzled out in a shower of purple sparks. He slowly looked down and saw that Megatron's optics were right on him. Starscream scrambled backwards through the dirt. At any moment the anger would come, and when the anger came, so would the fists. Megatron opened his intake and Starscream flinched. At any moment he'd go on another one of his angry tirades—
Megatron laughed.
Starscream's spark sank. He looked out over the city.
He should be glad, he should be proud. But all Starscream felt within his chestplate was a hollow sense of emptiness. He looked out over the bright city lights home to thousands, perhaps even tens of thousands of people whom he had just saved—
And then he saw Bulkhead before him. Not literally, no. The real Bulkhead stood gobsmacked down in the valley with the rest of the Autuobots. No, the Bulkhead mirage Starscream saw before him was the rotting Bulkhead who had stared out into space while mindlessly repeating the logs.
He'd just saved so many lives, but that still didn't change the fact that he had endangered one of the lives he cared about the most.
The act of saving the city should have washed away the guilt and should have made him feel proud and happy and like a true Autobot. He looked out over the city he saved—
And he felt… the same.
This wasn't how it was supposed to be. He thought if he went in and saved lives, he would feel better about himself, not worse. And yet there he was, high above the city he saved, mad with grief.
He knew there wasn't going to be any single grand moment in which he went from being Starscream the Bad Bot to Starscream the Hero. Optimus had told him this, had told him that that grand moment wouldn't come, that he'd have to work hard to be worthy every single day of his life—
But for just a single moment, Starscream thought he could save the day all at once. He thought he could be like the Autobot on the hill.
"Did you seriously think that I was going to demolish the city with just a puny regiment of pathetic drones? Fool! Still just as caught up in your delusions of grandeur as always, my dear Starscream."
"What?!" Starscream scrambled back. The time of heroism had ended and now he felt like he was a sparkling again. He began to run back down the road and down to Optimus, but then Megatron reached out and gripped his arm. He pulled the Seeker back to him until they were so close that Starscream could smell the stench of the dark energon in Megatron's vents.
Starscream took a deep vent and forced himself to look at the warlord. "You did all of this just so that you could let me win? Why?!"
"Because I know that you are delusioned and that you think can make up for all your crimes by saving some lives—-so I decided to give you your little victory, oh yes, so that you would realize that you are just the same as always, little Star. You're still the same villain you were before. You can have as many little heroic moments as you want—-that still doesn't erase a lifetime of evil. Do you enjoy playing the hero? Do you? What do you feel when you look out over those city lights?"
"I feel proud that I stopped you from destroying them!" Starscream said as his spark twisted within his spark chamber. It was a lie, a thick and heavy lie that hung in the air like a miasma that everybody could smell.
"No! You're still a vicious little creature who cannot stand to be slighted and who gives chase to all he feels unworthy to live—"
"That's not true!" Starscream said as he shook his helm. Out of the corner of his optic he saw Optimus try to slowly climb his way up the rockslide that blocked the road up to the cliff where Megatron and Starscream stood. The rocks underneath Optimus's pedes rolled out from under him and he looked up at Starscream with desperation.
"Is that so? Then look at them with your own optics, look at the frames of the bots you killed, the bots whose lives you ended so that you could save fleshies—look at them, look—"
Megatron angrily pointed down at the collapsed rockslide and the frames of the drones pinned under the boulders. Puddles of bright blue energon pooled under their helms and glowed bright in the night.
"I let you win!" Megatron said. "Do you not understand that? Do you seriously think that saving some fleshies will be enough to absolve you of the thousands of years worth of blood that you have spilt?"
"I refuse to allow you to sink your claws into my processor again!"
The Autobots fired on the rocks that blocked the road and Optimus ran forward through the cloud of dust and debris that their blaster bolts kicked up. "Step away from him, Megatron! Starscream, leave him be!" He transformed and drove up the road at full speed.
Megatron completely ignored Optimus's mad dash up the road. "If I truly wanted to eradicate that scumhole of a city off of the face of this wretched world, I would have done so by bringing in my best soldiers! Not some drones! No, my dear Starscream, I wanted the Autobots to see just how nasty you truly are when provoked. In your attempt to save lives all you did was take lives!" Megatron said as he pointed at the crushed frames of the drones.
Soundwave leaped out in front of Optimus's grill and shot out his cables. Optimus slammed into him and came to a halt right in the road. He transformed and swung his blade at Soundwave.
Starscream never got to see their fight. Megatron grabbed onto his helm and forced the Seeker to look at him again as he dug the sharp tips of his talons into the sides of Starscream's helm. "But more importantly, I wanted you to see how no matter how many lives you save, no matter how many little feats of heroism you pull off, you are still the same bot responsible for what happened to Vos, to Skyfire, to Bulkhead, and to your trine!"
Each name Megatron mentioned made Starscream's energon boil within his veins. He stared up at Megatron with determination, but then his optics widened at the sight of just how wrong Megatron looked. His optics were normally never this purple.
He pulled himself free of Megatron's grip. A voice within his helm screamed attack, attack, attack, but his pedes still stayed rooted to the ground and he continued to just stare up at Megatron in raw terror. Something violet shone in the corner of his vision and Starscream lunged at the closest target he could attack.
He slashed his talons at Soundwave's midsection and felt something warm and hot spray across his faceplate. They both went down into the dirt in a tangle of limbs. Soundwave's field flared with surprise, but then determination. His cables lashed out and he held Starscream's talons away from him as he leaned in and whispered a single word into Starscream's audial.
"Diversion."
Starscream tilted his helm and blinked. "Wha—?"
Megatron grabbed onto Starscream's single scarred wing and ripped him away from his new second-in-command. He pulled the Seeker close to his frame and for a single moment, all Starscream could see was just Megatron and the way he loomed over him, the way his optics shone red, the way his fusion cannon lit up again—
Another blue blaster bolt shot out from below and towards Megatron, and unlike the last one, this one didn't miss. Megatron let go of Starscream and growled in pain as he looked down at the burnt blaster mark on his thigh. Starscream jumped away from Megatron and clambered down the fallen rocks towards Optimus.
Optimus continued to point his blaster right at Megatron. "Begone, Megatron. Your theatrics have no place in Starscream's life anymore."
Megatron watched a wisp of smoke curl up from the singe mark on his leg and let out a guttural laugh. "Do you really feel that different? Do you understand that you can never play the role of hero?"
Starscream stared down over the city and felt a wave of defeat wash over him. Maybe Megatron was right and maybe this victory wasn't a victory at all.
Megatron transformed and flew down from his high spot atop the cliff and landed down in the valley below. He ran right towards Starscream and the sound of a fusion cannon hummed to life—
Optimus slammed into Megatron right as he fired a blast from his cannon. Pure instinct took over and Starscream dropped to the ground as the bolt sizzled over his helm. It slammed into a large boulder and sent a spray of dust and debris over everyone. Starscream blinked and shakily rose to his pedes and turned in a circle as he scanned the dust cloud for any sign of any bot at all.
The sounds of Optimus's and Megatron's battle crashed through the night until all Starscream could hear was the ring of swords and the sound of his own frazzled sparkbeat in his audials.
The dust cleared away and the rest of the Autobots became visible. They stared at him with wide optics. Starscream looked down to see what had caught their attention and—oh.
His talons were drenched in energon. Starscream looked up at the golden glow of the vast city sprawled out before him and then looked down at the blue glow of the blood he'd spilt.
He clenched his talons into fists and took deep vents as his frame began to shake. He thought saving the city would make him feel better, make him feel worthy—
But all it did was make him aware of the fact that nothing he could do in the modern-day could make up for the crimes of his not-so distant past. One rescued city did not make up for a thousand destroyed ones.
"Star…" Bulkhead said as he walked forward. "Every life counts, 'kay? Don't dwell on that fact, buddy, just appreciate the fact that tonight, you saved lives!"
"I…" Starcream's optics widened and he stepped back. "I said that out loud..."
A bright green groundbridge lit up and hovered in the air. Megatron threw Optimus back into a boulder and rose to his full and terrible height. He pointed the tip of his sword right at Starscream's frozen frame.
"Were it not for the genius plan Soundwave and Laserbeak came up with, I would take you for myself right now. No, when all is said and done with… you will beg to be allowed to return to my side." Megatron turned around and walked through the bridge.
The bridge vanished and silence reigned. Optimus pulled himself off the ground and Starscream ran over to him. He hooked his talons under one of Optimus's arms and helped the bloodied and dirtied Prime rise back to his pedes.
"I'm sorry," Starscream said. The words just burst out of him. "I was the target and then—"
Optimus touched his forehelm to Starscream's. "You are no target. Not anymore."
Starscream offlined his optics and let out a high-pitched keen.
"You did well tonight. Very well," Optimus said as he looked out over the city below. "Were it not for your heroic actions then that city would be in grave peril right now."
Starscream looked up at the human city and then looked down at the dozen drones laid out dead on the rocks in front of him.
So many lives saved and yet so many lives lost all on a single night.
"I suppose I did alright," Starscream grumbled. He'd always wanted to be the hero, to be the Seeker who could swoop in and save the day. But did he save those humans because he felt that they deserved to live, or did he just selfishly save them because he felt that he deserved to be praised for saving them?
"You saved them because you cared," Optimus said softly.
"Frag!" Starscream swore as he stepped back. "I just can't keep anything in my helm anymore, now can I?!"
Something purple shone in the trees. Starscream's helm shot around and he narrowed his optics at the dense and dark foliage. The leaves rustled, the air buzzed—
Optimus placed his servo on the Seeker's shoulder. "Starscream… no. Let him go!"
There he was. The mech who'd caused him so much pain and suffering. The mech who'd made the mirages of his dead brothers and best friend taunt him, the mech who chased after him so many times, the mech who invaded his processor—
"I can't let him go, you know I can't!" Starscream snarled. He turned and ran into the woods.
"Starscream!" Optimus shouted after him. He began to run after him, but Starscream was faster than the Prime and Soundwave was faster than them all.
"You are just the same as always, little Star," Megatron's voice echoed around and around in his helm as he ran and ran. "You're still the same villain you were before—"
Soundwave gently glided through the trees as Starscream smashed right into them. The glow of the city grew dim and distant until soon the only light came from the violet glow of Soundwave's cracked visor as he drifted through the woods.
A voice within him that sounded suspiciously like Optimus told him to stop, think, stop, you're doing exactly what Megatron said you would—
Soundwave froze up ahead and kept his back turned to Starscream.
Optimus's voice echoed through Starscream's helm. "It is up to you what kind of mech you want to be."
Starscream grit his dentae and tried to control his vents as they rapidly cycled air in and out. He could attack, yes, but Optimus wouldn't want him to fight in the condition that Starscream was in. Soundwave was so close, Optimus wouldn't want him to engage in a fight alone, Soundwave was stronger than him, he should just turn around and go back and—
Soundwave slowly turned around. His visor lit up hot violet and he played a recording of Skyfire's voice.
"Oh, Starscream…"
Starscream saw red and the energon in his lines boiled with rage. He lunged.
One moment he was crouched down in the dark wet foliage and in the next moment he was in the air with his claws extended and headed right towards Soundwave.
He crashed right into him and the two mechs tumbled through the mud and trees. Soundwave's back slammed into the ground, but the impact hardly seemed to faze him.
"ONCE A DECEPTICON, ALWAYS A DECEPTICON."
Starscream blinked and looked down. He had his talon raised into the air and ready to come down at Soundwave laid out beneath him.
There was a cocky red mech in front of him and Starscream raised his talon, ready to stab him through the chestplate—
Starscream hissed and withdrew his talon as he stumbled away. Soundwave silently watched him shuffle away and showed no outward reaction. For a single moment, though, Soundwave's field flared and radiated a sense of pure victory.
Starscream pointed his talon at Soundwave and ignored the way it shook. "Do not think for a moment that I—!"
"THAT YOU ARE STILL THE SAME? ONCE A DECEPTICON, ALWAYS A DECEPTICON," Soundwave said coldly. His voice sounded perfectly flat, yet Starscream could still detect a hint of mockery there within the words.
"I have changed!"
"HAVE YOU THOUGH?"
Starscream scowled and began to walk away. "I'm going to leave your aft behind to rot here, do you understand? It's the least that you deserve!"
"IT IS WHAT YOU DESERVE. You're still a vicious little creature who cannot stand to be slighted and who gives chase to all he feels unworthy to live—"
Starscream grit his dentae and continued to walk away. The bright violet glow of Soundwave's visor shone behind him and lit the dark forest path ahead of his dirty pedes.
"Go away," he hissed. He didn't need to hear Soundwave to know that he was being followed by him. He needed the mech to just leave and meld back into the creepy shadows he always jumped out of. Starscream was scared, that was all. That was the only reason he wanted Soundwave to leave him alone—he was just frightened of the Decepticon, that was all.
But there was another part of him that knew that the mere sight of that blank and cracked visor would be enough to make something within him snap. Starscream's ensuing rage could be violent enough to erase the months of redemption Optimus had helped him through.
He pushed back a tree and ignored the cold draft he felt flurry through the air as Soundwave silently glided after him.
Optimus. Optimus. He just needed to get back to Prime and then everything would be fine. As long as he didn't turn around and look at Soundwave's visor, as long as he just made it to the Prime, then all of his murderous urges would just vanish. He was no longer a Decepticon.
"ONCE A DECEPTICON, ALWAYS A DECEPTICON."
"ONCE A DECEPTICON, ALWAYS A DECEPTICON," Soundwave intoned. His voice echoed through the tall trees as he followed after Starscream.
"No, not always," Starscream said as he began to walk faster and faster. Soundwave wasn't going to hurt him physically, no, but mentally—
Starscream stumbled to a stop and looked out over a large cliff. Soundwave moved up behind him and together the two of them looked out over the vast forest below.
"YOU CAN COME BACK," Soundwave said slowly.
"You're a fool if you think I would ever willingly deliver myself back to him." Starscream tried to activate his comms again, but received only the hiss of static in return.
"YOU HAVEN'T CHANGED AT ALL. ONCE A DECEPTICON, ALWAYS A DECEPTICON. YOU ARE STILL JUST AS VIOLENT AS YOU WERE BEFORE AND IT IS ONLY A MATTER OF TIME—"
"Before they realize that?!" Starscream shouted as he whirled around. His talon instinctively slashed out and he left three long claw marks on Soundwave's chestplate. The sound of his shout echoed through the woods and made birds flee from their trees at the sheer volume of it.
Starscream laughed bitterly. "Hah! The last time we met you said that your next mission wouldn't be a failure. And yet here you are! You've just failed!"
Starscream stood there and breathed heavily as he thought of a thousand scathing insults to say—
Soundwave reached up and gently grabbed Starscream's wrist.
"MISSION: NOT FAILURE. MISSION: SUCCESS."
Soundwave looked down at Starscream's talon.
His talon still rested right on top of Soundwave's chestplate.
Right on top of the same spot where he had run Cliffjumper through with his talons.
"JUST AS VIOLENT AS ALWAYS. ONCE A DECEPTICON, ALWAYS A DECEPTICON," Soundwave whispered. He turned around and silently walked back into the woods.
Starscream's jaw dropped. "No! No, slag it, you, you, you don't get to just walk into my life, mess it up, and then walk right out of it again!"
"OH, STARSCREAM," Soundwave's voice echoed as he drifted back into the dark shadows of the woods. His frame flared violet, he stepped into the shadows, and then he was gone.
Starscream stood at the edge of the cliff and just stared into the woods.
He stared.
And stared.
And just stared.
The trees rustled.
He was a fool to think that he could be as heroic as that Autuobot on the hill.
He wanted to never see Soundwave again, but he also simultaneously wanted Soundwave to return so that he could punch his visor in. Starscream never wanted to see that ugly hidden Decepticon side of himself hidden away deep within him rise ever again—
And yet, just tonight, he saw the ugly side of himself again. He nearly became his old self again.
Bumblebee emerged from the trees with his servos held out placatingly. "Star—"
"Oh, have you come to wrangle me back under control?" Starscream grit out.
Bumblebee rapidly shook his helm and beeped sadly. "No, Star, we're just—"
"Just now realizing that I am still the same as before?"
Bumblebee went silent and walked up to Starscream. The two of them stared out at a distant mountain.
"Do you see that mountain?"
Starscream snorted. "I am many things, but I am not blind!"
Bumblebee shook his helm. "No, but do you see it? Imagine trying to walk to it. It's a very distant goal and a very hard one to reach."
Starscream sighed and began to walk away. "Ooh, what is this, another feel-good Autobot metaphor?"
"Don't be like this!" Bumblebee sighed as he grabbed onto Starscream's arm and pulled the Seeker back to him. "The top of it is the goal. Do you see the road leading up to the mountain? To the goal?"
Starscream squinted at the distant switchback road that looped its way up to the shadowy peak. He rolled his optics. "Yes, scout, I see your road. What of it?"
Bumblebee pointed his servo at it and traced its path with his digit. "See? In order to reach your goal, you have to go up that road. But it's hard… especially cause there are a lot of switchbacks. So when you try to reach your goal… sometimes, you end up going backwards a bit. But that's okay as long as you stay on the road and keep going up."
Starscream stared at the distant mountain road. "Are you trying to imply that my life is like a puny little fleshie asphalt road desperately trying to wind its way up to a pointy goal?"
Bumblebee blinked at him. "Well, that's one way to think of it. But it's true! All of this—this paranoia, this Decepticon-like behavior, this fear that you're unworthy to be a 'Bot—it's just a switchback! And soon, you'll be able to go back up again. Soon. But what matters the most..."
"Is that I stay on the road," Starscream sighed. A cloud drifted in and covered the mountain. Soon it was just a faint gray silhouette and then soon it vanished all together.
Starscream wiped his servo down his faceplate as his age hit him all at once. He wasn't that old, not really, but he'd spent the majority of his life with Megatron. Even a single year beside Megatron felt like a thousand lifetimes.
"Bumblebee… some roads are not worth staying on," Starscream said. He turned around and saw the rest of the Autobots in the treeline. Optimus's blue optics shone the brightest and pierced through the gloom. Starscream froze as if he were under two bright blue spotlights.
Optimus sighed as he walked up beside Starscream. "We need to return to base."
Starscream bit his glossa and nodded.
"Er," Bulkhead said awkwardly. "We'll give you two some space…"
The rest of the Autobots glanced at each other right before they then transformed and drove off in a cloud of dust. Optimus's bright blue optics shone through the dust cloud and grew brighter and brighter as he approached.
He reached out his servo. "Starscream—"
Starscream stepped right past the Prime's servo and walked past him. He had a mission to complete—even if he was so unworthy he shouldn't be on that mission in the first place. He bit his lip and ignored the way Optimus's field thrummed with disappointment behind him. They were scouting for energon, right? Right. All Starscream had to do was pretend nothing had happened and he would be just fine.
"Starscream," he said.
He ignored the Prime and continued to walk forward. The air grew colder around him and shifted.
"The drones are up to something," Starscream said coldly as he continued to ignore Optimus behind him. The air only moved like that when heavy machinery was being moved around. "What the slag are the drones up to now?" he sighed.
The ground shook as Optimus walked after him. "You need to slow down, we need to talk—"
Starscream continued to resolutely stare forward and continued to march on. "We need to finish this mission!"
"We need to discuss what just happened."
"You can discuss the mission with the Autobots after we complete it!" Starscream snapped as he continued to refuse to look at the Prime. Optimus stepped up behind him and his enormous shadow cast the Seeker in darkness.
"I was merely fighting back, okay? I'm fine, really, I am."
"Starscream."
"You don't need to hover over me like a helicopter! That's Airachnid's thing!"
"Starscream, Starscream—"
"Oh no, you stop that nonsense!" Starscream shouted as he pointed a talon accusingly at Optimus. "You're gonna do that thing where you sit me down and we get all sad and emotional. I can assure you, Prime, that I lost patience for our little chats a long time ago."
"Yet you still listen to what I have to say. You could get up and leave if you so desire," Optimus said. He looked off into the distance back down where the Autobots stood off in the valley below.
The Prime was right. Starscream could just leave Optimus behind there and stomp off to the rest of the Autobots—
Except they no longer looked at him the same way they used to. He was used to seeing revulsion in their optics, but now he saw… something else. Not quite revulsion, not quite true acceptance, but…
Gratitude.
Starscream looked back down the hill at the Autobots below.
"Surely you understand that there is no such thing as honest praise, do you?" Megatron's voice said.
One second he saw the Autobots there, and then one second later Starscream blinked and—
There was a dead Autobot on the ground in the rubble, there was a dead Autobot on the ground, and he turned his helm and began to speak. "You don't d-deserve—"
Optimus placed his servos upon Starscream's shoulder and made the Seeker look at him. "They are grateful. Not angry, but grateful."
And it was terrible. Prime didn't understand, couldn't understand, just why that was the problem. How do you tell somebody that you feel that every scrap of gratitude you receive is nothing but a cold lie?
Megatron's laughter clanged through his helm. "If he praised you and felt gratitude for you, it is because he wanted something from you."
Starscream took a deep vent. "Slag this all, I want to finish the mission, but… I also just want to go home to base."
Optimus smiled. "So you do consider the base to be your home."
Starscream's optics widened. "Wha—? No, no no no, I mean… okay, fine! Maybe I do like your scroungy little Autobot living conditions. Maybe."
"We helped the base become your new home because we understood that you had what it took to become worthy of the Autobot legacy."
Starscream remained silent.
Optimus sighed and pointed at the Autobot badge on Starscream's chestplate. "That was not put there by mistake. We put that there out of gratitude for saving Bulkhead."
Gratitude.
Gratitude.
Starscream's optics twitched.
"Our gratitude is real, Starscream. It is not a ruse meant to build your trust so that we can tear it down later. It is what it truly is."
"—if he praised you and felt gratitude for you, it is because he wanted something from you—"
Starscream froze and offlined his optics. He let his field flare out and brush the edges of Optimus's. For a single second, their fields made contact and Starcream sensed pure appreciation in the Prime's field.
So he wasn't being paranoid, then.
No, the gratitude was real, very real.
And that was precisely the problem.
He didn't deserve it.
The Autobot base was a home, but it was the home of a legacy he was unworthy to be a part of.
"You are almost an Autobot now," Optimus said softly.
Starscream bit his lip and sighed.
He was too soft and rounded to be a Decepticon, but too hard-edged to be an Autobot; no, he was something in between, belonging to neither one world or the other. He would never fit in.
Maybe it was time that he accepted that.
"Maybe I am. Maybe. But maybe I am...not." He got up and walked away and tried to ignore the way Optimus's field thrummed with disappointment. Starscream could handle the disappointment at least.
"Let's just go back to base," Starscream sighed as he awkwardly kicked at the rubble with his pede. Optimus walked up beside him and looked up to the stars.
"One day you will understand that there is no reason to grieve for receiving gratitude. And I will be beside you to ensure that that day will come."
Starscream rubbed his talons down his faceplate. "Enough! Come on, let's just…" He trailed off and looked into the distance.
He still remembered the Autobot on the hill and the way he stood over the town that he had just saved.
"Who was he?" Starscream asked softly. He clamped his talon down over his intake, but the damage was done. The question was already out in the air and had already piqued the Prime's interest.
"Who?"
Starscream bit his lip. He did not know the identity of that Autobot on the hill and he wasn't sure if he even wanted to. But there was still some morbidly curious part of him that wanted to put a name to the faceplate of the hidden Autobot who had saved the day.
"Megatron and I… we were at a small mining town. They refused to yield, so Megatron decided to blast them to bits. But then an Autobot came and… he saved the town, Optimus, and everybody in it. But I never knew his name. Who was he?"
Optimus hummed and looked off at the cluster of stars Cybertron was in. He considered them for a moment and took a deep vent as he looked side to side. "I do not know," he said softly as his field rumbled with grief. "There have been many heroes through this war who committed acts of valor and whose names were then lost to time. That Autobot on the hill was just... one of many."
One of many.
Just one of the many heroic bots Starscream had shot—
"I sense the distress in your field," Optimus said. He hooked his arm around Starscream's shoulder and guided him up to a rocky hill. "Go up there and look down upon the city that you saved, upon the city that would not be there were it not for your actions," Optimus said. "Be proud of yourself. You deserve it."
He gently pushed Starscream forward toward the edge of the rocky overlook. The hundreds of gold and blue and red lights of the city shone up into the sky and pulsed on and on, Optimus stared at him expectantly—
The faint blue glow of the mining town shone up into the sky and made the air glow blue. The silhouette of the Autobot up above cast a blue shadow down below that completely obscured Starscream. Fear clawed up his throat and he looked up at the tall Autobot's silhouette that stood upon the rocky overlook. Just a few more feet, that was all, and then the enemy would be disposed of. But was he really an enemy?
Starscream shakily walked up the rocky face as Optimus and the other Autobots expectantly watched on from down below.
Optimus squinted his optics up at Starscream as the Seeker shakily made his way up the rock face. The trees shuffled and Arcree stepped forward as Starscream walked off.
"Is he really ready for this?" Arcee leaned over and whispered to Optimus.
"I hope that he is finally ready to accept his innocence and to accept the fact that he is one of us now."
Arcee sighed. "He has to be ready to be one of us. I don't like him, but… we can't be a true team if one of the team members feels like they don't even belong."
"It has been a long time since he has felt that he belonged somewhere, Arcee."
Starscream ignored the whispering behind him as his frame began to shake more and more with each step closer to the high rock face.
He rose higher and higher up the rock face. Pebbles slipped out from under his pedes and clattered down the hillside. Megatron and the other Decepticons expectantly watched on from down below. Just a few more feet, one blaster shot, and then his Master would be pleased. He would not be praised for disposing of this enemy, he knew that, he would not be given any gratitude—
He froze. He didn't know why, but his limbs locked up on him.
He looked over his shoulder and saw Megatron on the crater rim up above. The warlord snarled down at him over their comms as his optics glowed bright red. "Keep going, Starscream!" he shouted. "Keep going!"
Starscream froze. And he knew exactly why.
A few hundred feet away in the treeline the Autobots watched Starscream try to look upon the city he had saved.
"Why'd he stop?" Bulkhead asked. "Keep going, Star, keep going! C'mon, be proud of yourself for once!"
Starscream rose to his pedes and stepped up to the edge. He looked up and at the city he saved. The whole city and all of its buildings and streets and lights were sprawled out beneath him.
The unknown Autobot towered above him, unaware, oblivious, unknowing—
Starscream fired his blaster.
Starscream froze. He heard the distant sound of his blaster echo around his helm and through the cold night air, but that didn't make any sense. His weapons were disabled, he couldn't fire a blast even if he wanted to. There were no more Decepticons so there was no way the Autobots would have fired a shot.
Starscream stood tall upon the rock and looked down at the city he'd saved—
smoke curled through the air
He stood upon the rock the exact same way the Autobot had stood upon the hill before he got shot—
and the Autobot who had saved the day dropped into the crater below
Starscream's optics widened—
"No, no, I don't deserve to take his place!" He turned around on his pede and ran back down the hill and left the sight of the city he'd saved far behind him.
He stumbled down the rock face in a wild clatter of motion and dust and rocks. Optimus ran up to him and placed his servos upon the Seeker's shoulders.
"Are you alright? Are you hurt?"
Starscream stared over his shoulder at the high rock he'd just run down. One moment there was nothing there, but then he blinked and then he saw it—the silhouette of that Autobot, the Autobot on the hill, the hero he had to have killed—and then the image vanished and the high rock was empty again.
"I'm fine," Starscream shook out quietly. "I'm not hurt. But I hurt him."
Optimus leaned back and looked down at Starscream with confusion and concern. "Who?"
Starscream took a deep shuddery vent. "Everybody."
Optimus's optics widened and his field drooped around him. "I thought you would be ready to accept that you are an Autobot now."
"I'm not worthy, Optimus," Starscream sighed. "I'm just not."
"Yes, you are—"
"Guys…" Bumblebee beeped as he cautiously ran up to the both of them. "I'm sorry to interrupt, but, there are headbeams coming up the road, but we scanned the car coming up and it's not a 'Con. It's a human and if we don't leave we'll be discovered."
"Yes! Let's leave, how about that?" Starscream said with fake cheer as he clapped his talons together. "No need to linger here in a place like the one where he died, where I k-killed him—"
Optimus reached forward and hugged him. "I do not know who you killed. But I am sorry that you feel as if you are usurping his place."
He was just one of many who were killed. The Autobot on the hill, the Autobot on the hill—
Starscream got up and walked away back down the mountain road. The Autobot's voices called after him, but he ignored them. He was fine, he was fine. He just needed some alone time, that was all.
The wind blew against him and the bright lights from the human settlement below lit the dark night up in gold and red as he briskly walked away from the Autobots.
Pedesteps followed after him and he felt a pair of optics on his back. Starscream knew he shouldn't look over his shoulder, he knew what—-or precisely, who—-he would see. But he looked anyway.
Optimus stood up high on the road above him and slowly walked towards him. "Starscream," he said in that soft tone of his, the same kind of voice you use when you approach something scared and broken.
"Oh slag, anything but that tone of voice!" Starscream groaned.
"You have done well today. Your performance was exceptional," Optimus said. Had this all happened just a few months ago, Starscream would've flared his plates in pride.
A harsh laugh broke out of his intake instead.
He laughed bitterly. For just a single moment, he thought he thought he actually deserved praise. It was his fault that Bulkhead almost rotted away. Perhaps one day he'd be worthy of praise… except…
"Do you not want to go back with us?" Optimus asked gently.
"What?! No, of course I want to go back with you. I just… want to look at the stars. That's all." He looked up into the sky and tried to ignore Optimus's gaze on his back. The lie felt thick and fake even to his own audials.
"...I see."
"Right, so, I'll just catch up to you all in a moment—"
Optimus walked right up beside him and sat down in the grass with him. Starscream's optics widened and he stared slack-jawed at the Prime.
Optimus just smiled. "We can catch up to the team together."
Starscream sighed and offlined his optics. "If you dare to try and 'comfort' me again, I swear I'll—"
"You are relapsing."
The words died in Starscream's intake. If he still had had both of his wings then they would have shot up right into the air.
"Excuse me?! Are you accusing me of acting like a Decepticon?"
"You were acting the same way you used to back when you were a Decepticon, yes. You were being arrogant, you were being violent, you were lying—"
Starscream bit his glossa and shrunk in on himself as each of Optimus's words hit him one after the other.
"—but you are also grieving. You are traumatized."
"I'm Starscream! I don't get traumatized."
"So says every Decepticon I have ever met."
"What, every Decepticon out there claims to be me?"
Optimus let out a heavy sigh. "No, Starscream, every Decepticon out there denies being traumatized by the horrors of the war. The incident with Bulkhead's memories traumatized you and left you in an unfamiliar situation. So you are now trying to process the incident by acting in ways that are familiar to you—-hence why you are acting like a Decepticon."
"Oh, can you really blame me for acting the way I only know how?"
"I know that you know that there are better ways to behave. It is all a choice, Starscream, and you are making the wrong one."
"I am somehow messing things up yet again," Starscream scoffed. The wind blew harder and the faint echoes of the Autobot's distant voices echoed through the wind.
"I will be beside you."
"And how can you guarantee that?"
Silence. Optimus said nothing and the only sound came from the cold wind as it blew past their frames.
"Ha!" Starscream shouted as he pointed one of his talons at the silent Prime. "You can't guarantee that we will always be together!"
Optimus hummed and looked off into the distance. "No, I cannot guarantee that. But I can try to prevent us from being separated." Optimus then reached his servo out. "Take my talon, Starscream, take it and together we will do such great things."
The sound of distant cars revved through the air. Arcee turned around and ran right up to the two of them. "We need to leave now."
A bright green groundbridge split the air and lit the clearing in bright light. A harsh wind blew against their frames, but Optimus kept his servo outstretched for Starscream to take.
"Take it, Starscream, promise me you understand that you are worthy."
Starscream reached his servo out to take Optimus's—
"We need to leave literally right now!" Arcee shouted as the human's head beams swept across their pedes.
Starscream pulled his talon away from Optimus and took one last look at the rocky hill and the sprawl of the city beyond it. Then he turned around and leaped through the bridge in a flash of green light.
"Maybe he'll get better one day!" Bulkhead's voice echoed from the main room.
"Slag," Starscream swore. He'd hoped that the gush of the water from the washracks would drown out their gossiping, but apparently not. Starscream grumbled and turned the water on higher and higher and let it sear the dirt of the day away from him.
"I don't know… Megatron messed him up pretty bad. Why would he be angry with us for being grateful to him?" Bumblebee blooped.
The hot water that gushed over his frame was so hot that it nearly hurt. But that was okay—the pain helped him think more clearly. Megatron's beatings had helped with that a lot.
He placed his talon on his Autobot badge and frowned at his distorted reflection on the washracks wall. The sight of the bright red badge felt so out of place on his own frame. He scowled and splashed some water on the wall to make his reflection vanish.
One part of Starscream wanted to just run out of the washracks and wring the Autobot's neck cables for daring to talk about him behind his back. Another part of him wanted to run off to his room and was content to let them gossip all they want.
Optimus's heavy sigh echoed through the corridor. "Because his arrogance is just a mask that he uses to hide his insecurities and now that—"
Starscream punched the wall.
He tilted his forehelm against the washrack's wall and let all of the dirt of the past month just wash away. Fragments of dirt from the cave Optimus had recruited him in washed down and spiralled down the drain. He still remembered the cave, that day Optimus reached out to him and Starscream reached back.
Optimus had reached out to him again—
But Starscream couldn't reach back. Not ever again.
The hot water seared him and stripped away bits and pieces of paint from his frame. He'd lost the right to be painted prismatic colors a long time ago. Everything would be fine, right? He was a danger to the team, so everything would be okay as long as he just stayed in the shadows. He could still contribute, but just from behind the scenes from now. Let the others take the spotlight. He'd spent his entire life so far trying to reach the limelight, but now that he was in it, all he wanted to do was step out of it.
Starscream stepped out of the washracks and into the middle of the hall and let the water sluice down his scarred armor. He just wanted to check on his energon stache in order to sate his paranoia. For all he knew, Optimus could show up at any moment and forbid him from refueling. He knew that he hadn't really done anything that bad today in order to warrant such punishment, but some part of him—the deeply guilty part of him—expected the Prime to snatch Starscream's energon away despite his heroic act earlier. He just wanted to dry off in his room.
He turned a corner and his wing flared in surprise.
Optimus stood out in the hall. "Come with me," he said as he gently grabbed Starscream's shoulder and began to steer the Seeker away from the washracks.
"Er, where are we going?" Starscream asked. "I'm still dripping wet!"
"I figured that you would want to dry off somewhere… windier."
Optimus led him deeper and deeper into the base through halls that he had never been through before. He walked up a steep metal staircase that led up high into the rafters of the base. Starscream stared up at Optimus with wide optics as his wing tingled in anticipation. Something was about to happen, but whether it was good or bad was something that he did not know.
Optimus halted upon the steps and turned back to smile at Starscream. "I can assure you that you will like the place I am bringing you to."
"Oh, please don't tell me it's another musky storage closet or training arena. They all smell of dust… and scraplets, for some reason!" Starscream scoffed as he walked up the stairs to stand beside Optimus. Optimus just smiled knowingly and walked underneath a hatch.
Starscream's spark froze in its chamber. Was that—?
Optimus pushed the hatch door open and a blast of wind blew inward. Every single sensor across Starscream's entire frame lit up as the cold stale around him became warm and alive. He offlined his optics and stretched out his single wing to catch the breeze.
"Come along," Optimus said as he stepped through the hatch.
"You're really letting me outside?!"
"After all that you have been through… it is what you deserve." He stretched his servo out to the Seeker and pulled Starscream through the air.
A blast of cold air slammed into his frame. This was different from the rush of wind he felt when he walked through the groundbridge—this was the wind of the sky around the base, the wind that whirled around his home—
He emerged onto the roof of the base and stared out with wide optics over the vast moonlit desert landscape. Optimus looked out over the desert and stared at the distant lights of a far off town in the distance. Starscream peered over the edge of the base and his optics widened at the sight of the drop far down below. He would hate to have to climb down it.
Starscream looked over the roof of the base and saw a pile of rocks near the edge. "What's that—?"
Optimus hooked his arm around the Seeker's shoulders and steered him away from the mysterious rock pile. "Starscream, you cannot run from me by hiding away within the base."
Starscream scoffed. "Uh, I was not hiding from you! I was just cleaning myself! I just tend to… wander around the base and enter and exit certain rooms when you coincidentally just happen to not be with me in any of those rooms at the time. That is all."
Optimus went silent and just stared at him for a few moments. "...Ah. I can only help you so much. I can tell you that you are worthy to be here as many times as I want, but in the end, it is ultimately up to you to accept that… whether or not I am here."
"Don't talk like that!" Starcream pointed his talon accusingly at the Prime.
"Talk like what?"
"So… ominously. As if you think you'll be unable to give me advice anymore one day."
"I intend on staying beside you for a very long time, Starscream. I will not be going anywhere."
"Hmphf." He tried to ignore the way Optimus's words made him feel warm inside.
"Surely you understand that isolating yourself will just make your mental state deteriorate even further?"
Starscream rolled his optics. "My mental state has already deteriorated. Listen, I'm destined to ruin everything. If I don't distance myself from you, then I will inevitably mess up and hurt one of you next time. When I do, that will mentally hurt me even more than distancing myself from you!"
"Making friends is worth the potential sparkache. I know that and I know that you know that. You cannot keep pushing us away."
Starscream fluttered his wing nervously. "That's... not the right word to use. 'Pushing' is a tad harsh. Oh, no no no, I was just… distancing myself from all of you."
"It is all the same. This is the time you must have others beside you the most, the number one time to have others bots support you, assist you, and show gratitude to you for your good deeds—"
Starscream cringed. "No, don't…"
Optimus paused. "I thought you enjoyed being praised?"
Starscream sighed. "Oh, back onto that topic? Of course I do!"
"Do you really, though?"
"Oh, Primus, yes, I just… don't deserve it anymore. That is all."
Optimus looked up at the stars Cybertron was in. "You enjoyed having praise heaped upon you, yet you also mistrusted it. You seek it, but when you receive it… you then get sick and tired of it and no longer want it."
Starscream grit his dentae. "Pointing out the contradictions, I see."
"If you truly and honestly feel that all praise that has been given to you was just an attempt to manipulate you, then why is that throughout all these years, you have accepted other bot's praise with such joy?" Optimus asked in that infernally soft voice of his.
"All those bots who were nice to me just wanted to use me. Megatron taught me that. And I knew their kind words and gratitude were all hollow, yes… but I liked to pretend that it was real."
Optimus stared at him for a few moments. "...I see."
Hot regret suddenly clamped down around Starscream's spark. "Oh, look what you've reduced to me! I'm saying things I vowed to never tell anybody, and yet the moment you drag me onto a roof, it's personal chit-chat time!"
"Then leave."
Starscream's single wing shot up in surprise. "What?"
"If you find this conversation to be so annoying, then you may depart."
Starscream's jaw dropped. "What… but…"
Optimus turned and just stared at him. "You are still here, I see."
"What—oh, aren't you observant?!"
A smile appeared on the Prime's faceplate. "I know that you won't leave. And neither will I. You like our conversations more than you let on. You reject help from anybody besides Megatron because it is what you were trained to do."
Starscream sputtered. "What, no, that's not true, except…"
He trailed off and stared into the night.
"You say that you don't care, yet here you are distancing yourself from me… in order to protect me. There is Megatron, yes, but besides him, you are your own worst enemy. And you need to look past the teachings Megatron has instilled in you and you need to follow my teachings.
"If you were really reverting back to being a Decepticon, you would have tried to escape us. But you did not. You chose to stay, which indicates to me that you know that you're relapsing and returning to your old ways… but deep down, you don't want to relapse at all. You wanted to be stopped by somebody, by me specifically, because deep down you want somebody to pull you away from the edge."
Starscream just stared at Optimus. And stared. And stared.
"There are very few bots over the years who have left me speechless. You are one of them." Starscream said softly. "Just… why?"
"What confuses you?"
"Why do you keep trying to help me?!"
Optimus was silent for a few moments.
"I will keep pulling you away from the edge as long as you keep stepping up to it."
That familiar choking feeling rose up within Starscream's throat and he buried his faceplate in his servos. Primus, why was all of this just so hard?
"I feel that there is even more to all of this than I can understand. You would always boast about how great you are, but now that there are bots who are actually calling you great… you are unhappy. Why?"
"Why? Why?" Starscream snarled.
Optimus leaned back with wide optics and gave the Seeker some space. Starscream jumped to his pedes and flared his wing as his optics shone bright red.
"Oh, do you want to know why? Do you? Probably because I've been lying to myself about how great I am all these years and now there are a bunch of bots who actually believe my lies?! Probably because I nearly got one of you killed and now you're praising me for it, probably because I'm just arrogant because it's the only way I can motivate myself—"
Optimus suddenly stood up and gently pulled Starscream back to the ground. He held the angry Seeker close to his side and hooked his arm around his shoulder.
"Sit here with me," Optimus said as he sent out waves of calm from his field in an attempt to calm down Starscream's own frazzled field.
"Why?" Starscream laughed bitterly. "So you can dissect me even more?!"
"So that you can rest.."
Starscream pulled his knees to his chin and shook in anger—-but he did not know who he was even angry at. Maybe he was angry at Megatron for breaking him and then remaking him into something ugly. Maybe he was angry at Optimus for daring to try and fix him.
But maybe he was angry at himself.
"Do you seriously think that you deserve to be a part of the Autobot's legacy?"
Starscream bit his lip and sat still beside Optimus. His field angrily thrashed against Optimus's calm field and made the air fizzle and hiss with static. Normally whenever the two of them sat together like this, his field calmed down.
But not this time.
Starscream groaned and held his helm in servos and willed his field to calm down. He needed to stop, he needed to think, he needed to breathe—
"Do you seriously think that you deserve to be a part of the Autobot's legacy?"
"Starscream?" Optimus asked softly.
"Do you seriously think that you deserve to be a part of the Autobot's legacy?"
He clamped his servos over his audials and willed the memory of the drone's voice to vanish from his helm and to leave him and his already turbulent emotions alone and in peace.
"Do you seriously think that you deserve to be a part of the Autobot's legacy?"
The voice needed to be quiet, he just wanted the slagging thing to shut up—
"Do you think that you are ready to accept that you are truly one of us now?" Optimus asked softly.
He just wanted silence, not acceptance. Starscream lifted his helm and looked at Optimus. He opened his intake to say something—closed it—and then took a deep breath.
"Most of the time when we have these talks, I walk away all enlightened and feeling better about myself. Most of the time… I can successfully move on past Megatron's lessons."
Optimus's optics widened and hope flared in his field for a split moment.
"Do you seriously think—"
"But," Starscream said shakily as a thousand thoughts collided against each other in his helm.
"—that you deserve to be a part of the Autobot's legacy?"
"But I don't think I can move on from this. Not this time, Optimus. Not for now at least."
He was not worthy of the Autobot legacy and never would be.
Starscream went silent.
Optimus stared off into the night and took a deep vent. "Is there nothing I can say that can convince you that you are truly worthy of the badge upon your chestplate?"
Starscream clenched his talons into fists. "You're not the problem, it's me, okay? I'm always the problem—"
"It does not have to be like this."
He got up and ran back over to the trapdoor.
"Stop running. Please," Optimus pleaded.
Starscream froze and looked between the trapdoor and Optimus.
"Maybe one day I'll be able to stop running. But I'm not ready. Not yet. I'm sorry!"
He threw the door open and vanished back into the base. It closed with a clang that echoed through the air and across the vast desert. Optimus sighed and stared at the empty spot where Starscream had sat. He looked out over the desert canyon and listened to the sound of the wind that Starscream loved so much blow all around him.
The trap door creaked open. Perhaps it was Starscream and he had returned because he had changed his mind—
There was a gasp.
"You… you brought him here?" Ratchet breathed in horror.
Optimus let out a sigh and continued to stare out at the desert. "You need not worry about the location of the base, you already ensured that he could not scan for the base's coordinates—"
"You brought Cliffjumper's murderer to Cliffjumper's grave?"
Optimus turned around and his optics widened. Ratchet stood there in front of him, but his optics weren't on the Prime—they were latched onto a mound of dirty rocks upon which a single silver metal horn sat.
Optimus stood up and took a deep breath. This was damage control, he just had to reassure Ratchet that everything was fine and—
"What is wrong with you?! This place is sacred, holy, and you dared to bring Starscream here?"
"Ratchet..."
"Hep hep hep! No, don't you even dare try to stop me!" Ratchet sputtered as he waved his servos around in the air. "You won't be able to calm me down the same way you can calm Starscream down, no no no! I was already upset by how much free reign you've given him over the base… but to think that you allowed him here? He desecrated Cliffjumper's corpse, what makes you think he won't do so again?!"
"He will not hurt him ever again, my old friend—"
"Cliffjjumper was our friend too, and yet look what you did! You went and replaced him with his murderer!"
The moon dipped behind the distant mountains and the silver light disappeared. The rooftop was plunged into darkness and the only light came from the stars above and the bright blue glow of their optics.
"There have been no replacements. No substitutions. Cliffjumper and Starscream are not replacements for each other—"
"Is this about vengeance, huh?"
Optimus took a step back. "...What are you implying, old friend?"
"Ohohoho, don't you 'old friend' me!" Ratchet sputtered. "You feel bad about the deaths of all of the Autobots Starscream killed, so now you think that making Starscream feel guilty for their deaths will somehow make it all better! 'Here Starscream, here's the frame of that bot you killed, feel bad yet?'"
Optimus's servos clenched into fists. "Do not accuse me of emotional manipulation. Those are Megatron's methods, not mine."
"Then why did you bring him here?!"
"So he could go home, Ratchet."
Ratchet scoffed. "Optimus, he doesn't really have a home. What are you even talking about?"
"I brought him up here because even though we are trying to make the base his new home, his true home will always be the sky."
"Sometimes I think that it'd be better if he just flew away again! Or maybe things would be better if he couldn't fly at all."
"You do not mean that. You want him to fly again, I know you do."
"I'm helping him fly again because he is my patient and is in need of repair. That's just what I do—oh, I'll rebuild his wing, I'll rebuild it so that he can fly off with you watching him leave while utterly sparkbroken. He will leave one day."
Optimus looked up into the stars and wondered which star was Cybertron. "He will not leave me and I will not leave him."
"You can't guarantee that. This war has ripped away so many bots from us before. It could easily claim your spark just as easily as it did Cliffjumper's."
"Starscream will not kill me."
"Oh, pfft, physically? No, that is unlikely… but mentally? He'll rot your processor!"
"And how could he do that, Ratchet? Perhaps in the past he could have manipulated me into losing my sanity, perhaps—but he is not the same bot anymore. He no longer manipulates others, he instead manipulates himself into thinking that he is unwanted and unworthy."
"Well, maybe he is unworthy—"
"I am not worthy of him."
Ratchet blinked and stepped back. "Optimus, what…?"
Optimus looked off into the sky again. "It is getting late, we should get back into the base—"
"No no no, you're staying here, mister! You may be Prime, but I am still your physician!"
Optimus looked at Cliffjumper's grave again. "He has been able to survive so much and yet keep going, Ratchet. Few bots have such endurance—not even me."
"Bah, of course you do, you're here now!"
"Am I, though? I sometimes feel like I left my true self behind in the Senate Chamber that fateful day."
Ratchet rapidly shook his helm back and forth. "No, slag it, Optimus, don't talk like that."
"I speak the truth. I think I lost my true self long ago. That is why I am trying to help Starscream regain his true self… as an Autobot."
Ratchet scoffed. "He literally just said that he doesn't think he can truly be an Autobot!"
"His insecurities are clouding his processor. He will soon see that he is worthy to be a part of our legacy."
"Are you truly so sure of that, Optimus?"
Optimus rose up to his full height and looked down at Ratchet. "Yes. I am."
"Well then, then—gah! If you refuse to prepare yourself for his inevitable betrayal, then I will just have to do the preparations myself." Ratchet turned around and stomped back down into the base as Optimus's voice called after him.
Prime was confused and his compassion had blinded him yet again. No, he wouldn't allow Starscream to become the next Megatron, to become the next bot to win the Prime's trust and love, only to destroy it. Ratchet stomped down the hall and threw down the door to his lab. The brilliant green glow of synth-en illuminated the entire room.
This green glow was safety and security. No, once he finished the synth-en, it would change everything. They would no longer have to rely on Starscream to seek out more energon for them.
Ratchet lifted up one of the bright green jars and watched the synth-en slosh around in it. Yes, this could change everything.
He just needed to test it. He looked around at all of his equipment and frowned. It would take a long time to ensure that the formula was stable enough to be used and that was time that they just didn't have.
Ratchet grumbled and sat down and stared at the bright green synth-en. It was beautiful. No, he needed to test it out now more than ever. Starscream was rapidly growing more and more unstable and he would snap sooner or later. When that happened, he needed to be as strong as the Seeker in order to ward him off.
Ratchet picked up a vial of the synth-en and just held it there in front of his faceplate. It would be so easy to just… drink it—
No, that would be reckless. He put the vial back down and sighed. Ratchet got up to leave his work desk behind, but then paused. He looked around his lab and saw the handiwork of Starscream everywhere. The most intact plates with the equations on them had all been drawn in the Seeker's whirling Vosian script.
Ratchet's servos clenched into fists by his sides. Even the sight of Starscream's handwriting made something within him snap. He grabbed the small vial of synth-en and chugged it down.
Starscream rubbed at his faceplate as he dragged himself through the halls. All he wanted to do was curl up on his berth and forget about everything that had happened tonight. He still felt as if Megatron's talon was closed around his neck and instinctively lifted his own talon to wrench Megatron's away—but there was nobody there. Nobody except for Ratchet.
"I know who you really are," Ratchet whispered.
"Uh, are you okay?" Starscream said cautiously as he approached the medic. He stood in the doorway of his lab and was backlit by a bright green glow.
"I saw the impact Megatronus had upon Optimus and I refuse to allow you to cause the same damage!"
Ratchet's helm shot up and he narrowed his optics at Starscream. They were bright green.
"No!" Starscream gasped. His own optics widened in surprise and he turned and ran down the corridors of the base. He threw open the door to his room and let it clang shut behind him.
The sound of pedesteps shuffled outside of his door just moments later. He could tell from the weight of them that they were definitely not Optimus's.
The bright green glow of Ratchet's optics shone through the foggy and blurry glass of the large door to his room. Ratchet then moved on and the green glow vanished.
Starscream waited breathlessly for a few moments. He crouched down and pushed the crate under his berth aside again. The bright blue glow of his energon stache shone out into the room yet again. Starscream sighed in relief and pushed his crate back in place.
Everything would be fine. Maybe one day he'd be worthy enough to carry on the Autobot's legacy.
