December 29, 2006 11:00PM

I didn't end up going. I used some lame excuse.

I hope that she wasn't scared, lying there alone.

"Tai, I'm really sorry, I know I said I'd come see Hikari, but, you see," Lies lies lies. "My new landlord, he needs me to come up early to give him the damage deposit."

"Oh, well, it's fine Sora."

"No, Tai, I feel horrible, it's just-"

"It's fine."

I hate myself.

"I'm so sorry. I love you, and I love your sister. I wish, well, I wish it didn't end up like this, you know?"

"I know. We love you too, I'll tell Hikari you called. I'll talk to you later."

I couldn't handle seeing Hikari like that. I spent the rest of the night alone in my room, wondering what Hikari was doing, how she felt.

If she knew she was dying.

I wished I could take her place.