Author's note: This was written for Klaroline AU Season, 2021 - Week Three: March 31-April 6 – Fantasy and Folklore. This is a sequel to Chapter 108: Fae Tripper. Caroline is still serving up a good time for all the supernaturals and in between, she's going to play exorcist for the Originals. Good thing she can multitask.
Warning: Mentions of drug use. Wildly imaginative, supernatural drug use though. :) Also, some sexy times!
"When logic and proportion,
Have fallen sloppy dead.
And the White Knight is talking backwards,
And the Red Queen's off with her head.
Remember what the dormouse said,
Feed your head."
— Jefferson Airplane, White Rabbit
You haven't lived until you've seen a centaur do the hokey pokey on a bar. Fortunately, Caroline had paid extra for the reinforced steel supports in her bar top, so at least it wouldn't collapse under the massive weight of stoned pony-dude. She realized with a grimace that those sharp hooves were wearing grooves in the granite. Maybe it was time to institute a no shoes, no service policy after all.
"What vulgar nonsense is this," a haughty voice suddenly called out as a graceful blonde slid onto a barstool next to Klaus.
Caroline eyed the newcomer, realizing she was Klaus' sister, Rebekah. "Happy hour," she replied with a shrug.
"This is a wretched drug den. It's doubtful you limit your junkies' addictions to a mere handful of hours," Rebekah sniffed, casting a judgmental look at the pair of witches who blew smoke ring hearts with coy smiles before passing their belladonna joint to the glassy-eyed centaur. After a few long puffs, he resumed the hokey pokey with an enviable determination.
"Enough, Rebekah," Klaus growled, craning his neck around the hopping centaur to properly glare at his sister. "I'll not have you insulting Caroline or her clients."
This bitch. Caroline's ears twitched, the pointed tips heating as she leaned across the bar to hiss, "This is a safe space. Shut your mouth about what you don't know — or I'll do it for you." The centaur paused briefly in his impressive chorus-line kicks to nod enthusiastically at her impassioned speech.
At the dangerous flare of unnatural blue in Klaus' gaze, Rebekah seemed to be reminded of the Originals' issues with the Hollow and settled back in her seat, flicking her gaze around the enormous room filled with swirling red haze. Several cries of ecstasy rang out from the pile of scales, fur and horns writhing on the velvet chaises near the back.
"My, my, it appears I've been missing out on quite the party," a new voice interjected, guffawing loudly. The mischievous smile on that boyish face only grew wider as he blatantly checked out the shirtless werewolves in the corner who'd started to arm wrestle/aggressively cuddle.
Caroline shook her head, amusement coloring her tone as she said, "Probably want to pass on that — they've been shooting wolfsbane-Thai mushroom cocktails all night — their party won't be hard for at least a day."
"Have some semblance of decorum, Kol," Klaus' older brother, Elijah, admonished as he followed after Kol, steering the wayward Original away from the spectacle.
With a sweeping gesture at all the siblings, Caroline announced, "Great, everyone's here, so let's head upstairs to delouse you." She signaled one of the minotaur bouncers to stay close to the centaur still gyrating on her bar top. She knew from experience that many a stoned hokey pokey required a spotter for those shaky dismounts.
Stairs manifested in front of Caroline's purposeful stride as she led the Originals to the private loft.
"I still can't believe we're trusting our lives to one of the Keebler Elves."
Caroline raised an eyebrow, unimpressed by Rebekah's outburst. She kept trying to undermine her, and Caroline couldn't decide if it was out of fear or anger — neither emotion ideal for the ritual she needed to perform. Plus, a little gratitude for the huge favor she was doing would be nice. "We don't just make addictive cookies anymore," she snapped, poking at the barrier that surrounded each sibling to ensure her magic was strong enough. She pointed at the Russian blue stones, wordlessly indicating where each Original should sit. Once seated, the Caroline levitated the stones, allowing the chaotic energy to flow through her.
"It's quite obvious that addiction is how you ply your trade," Elijah stiffly interjected, judgement etched across his face as he looked down at her from his stone perch. The blue in his gaze flared with the unnatural glow. The Hollow had polluted his body just as deeply as his siblings. Although it sounded like he came by the judgy jackass part naturally.
She owned a social club, not a drug den. Everyone knew Caroline's people made the best product, and if clients wanted to play in her sandbox, they had to follow her rules. "I keep certain itches manageable," she ground out, summoning the natural harmonies the earth fed the fae. "You know as well as anyone that nothing in this world is safe, but once creatures cross my threshold, they're safer there than out in the world."
"Show some gratitude, brother," Kol unexpectedly chastised, that same disturbing blue glow haunting his gaze as he lounged on his own floating stone. "Caroline is solving our troubles with the Hollow — something none of Klaus' rather impressive witches could accomplish."
Clearly reading the surprise on Caroline's face, Kol tipped her a sly wink and added, "Plus, I'm hoping she'll provide me with a proper introduction to those delightfully surly werewolves afterward. I found them to be quite...fetching."
She could read the annoyance on Klaus' face at his siblings' constant interruptions. Blocking out the rest of their bickering, Caroline slammed a crown of hawthorn branches on her head and finished drawing her clan's symbols on an egg. The melted wax cooled quickly into the proper runes and she murmured a blessing before kneeling below Klaus' feet.
Caroline lowered the blue stone where he sat, lightly brushing the egg along his bare feet, feeling her own skin prickle at the unnatural force within him. The Hollow, nothing more than a foul likhoradka parasite, had crawled its way into Klaus and his family. Her people exorcised bad spirits that poisoned bodies in this way, casting out the energy into the ether.
It was embarrassing how Caroline's touch faltered over such a simple ritual, feeling the weight of Klaus' gaze. The unspoken promise between them of unfinished things hung heavy in the air. The anticipation. Discreetly licking her lip, she refocused her magic, drawing out the Hollow as she carefully ran the egg along his body.
"Bloody hell, I think I've seen this ritual before — all we need is a pizza delivery man and a bunny costume and then —"
"Kol," the rest of the siblings interrupted, sending him searing glares as they waited for their turn in the ceremony.
Breathing a sigh of relief as she finished pushing her energy through Klaus, Caroline straightened, quickly tying a red ribbon around his wrist to ward off the Hollow while she set to work exorcising the rest of the Originals.
Clearly uncomfortable, Elijah's body remained tense as a muscle jumped along his jawline while she performed her ritual. He nearly jumped out of his skin at her touch, and she had to bite her tongue to keep from snapping at him. It was obvious what he thought of her, despite the fact that she was delivering him and his siblings from lifetimes of agony at the hands of this petulant dark spirit. Pity. A suit that expensive should come with some manners. She took particular delight in tying the red ribbon extra tight around his wrist, doubling the knots until his pale flesh purpled under the strain.
Klaus kept up an almost continuous low growl at Elijah's obvious rudeness, like a cranky Pomeranian. Overprotective alpha shit is not attractive. She had zero interest in feeling how that growl would vibrate against her throat and breasts...and other parts. With an irritated headshake, she refocused on Kol, who kept glancing between her and Klaus with a knowing grin.
The warded egg lurched in her hand as she dragged it up Kol's thigh, who let out a naughty giggle as he confessed with the Hollow's unnatural blue flare in his gaze, "Egg-play is fetish I've never indulged, but your confident ministrations certainly have aroused my curiosity."
"Back off or I'll trap the Hollow in your balls." With a wicked smile, Caroline added, "You'll redefine blue balls."
She savored the slightly panicked look on Kol's face, not bothering to hide her grin as she finished his exorcism and tied on the red ribbon.
The ritual was going too well. She'd been surprised with Klaus', slightly pensive with Elijah's, but then the ease of Kol's flooded her with suspicion. She'd barely stepped in front of Rebekah's floating form when the Original hissed at Caroline. "Pathetic domovoi, you think you can beat me."
"And you think invoking my clan's name will weaken me," Caroline scoffed, paying no mind to the eerie blue glow of Rebekah's judgmental stare as it intensified. She pushed her energy through the egg, waiving across the irate woman as she thrashed.
When the Hollow manifested enough force to split the sacred Russian stone, Caroline was furious. "Seriously?! I nearly froze my tits off hauling that out of Lake Pleshcheyevo last January!"
Rebekah's brothers started to race forward, but Caroline held them back with a firm shake of her head. She reached back into the ether, feeling how the parasite had rooted itself in Rebekah's spirit. There. She felt the power start to fade, and she quickly finished the knots in the red ribbon.
Breathing heavily, the Originals looked on in surprise as the ribbons melted away, a final wisp of blue light swirling overhead before disappearing. "That was...surprising," Rebekah said, her voice unexpectedly contrite.
Shrugging her shoulders, Caroline teased, "The Hollow doesn't have much juice in my world; basically, you guys came down with a nasty case of supernatural head lice."
While Klaus and Kol looked amused, Elijah briefly scowled, and then arranged his face back into a politely bored expression.
Rebekah wrinkled her nose at Caroline's words, but there also was a slight twitch of her lips as she winked and said, "Yes, well, I've never considered delousing a seduction technique, but you pulled it off beautifully. And I suspect far superior to whatever nonsense lines Nik tossed your way." Exchanging an amused look with Klaus, she added, "Enjoy yourself, brother," and headed downstairs.
Elijah unnecessarily smoothed his perfectly pressed suit jacket, stiffly muttering thanks while still giving Caroline a wide berth as he followed his sister. Pompous jackass. She hoped when he walked by the bar, the stoned centaur was at the green vomiting phase of his drugs.
"Don't mind them, love, my siblings weren't raised with manners," Klaus began, taking a step toward her with a seductive gleam in his eye.
Kol immediately flashed in front of his brother, kissing Caroline's hand as he slyly offered, "I'd be quite pleased to properly demonstrate my gratitude..." at Klaus' possessive growl, he hastily amended, "But it appears Nik intends to provide you with more than enough appreciation, so I best be on my way."
When Kol hesitated at the stairs, Caroline rolled her eyes, realizing what he was waiting on. Exasperated, she told him, "Fine. The werewolves have a thing for Hank Williams Sr.'s music. But watch out — anything by his son will get your head shoved up your ass with a side of Tabasco."
"Good to know," Kol told her with a cheeky grin, racing downstairs while wondering aloud, "I wonder what's their policy on béchamel sauce?"
The loft was charged the moment she and Klaus were alone, his smile almost bashful as he commented, "Rebekah was right — your seduction technique was superior to mine."
"You mean how you propositioned me when you were stoned and drunk on my hemlock whiskey, bragging about your hearty constitution," Caroline mockingly asked, levitating the stones back to their corner.
A faint blush dusted his cheeks as Klaus rubbed his neck awkwardly. "My apologies, sweetheart. That was not my finest moment to be sure." His tone grew serious as he told her, "I know this may have seemed like a trifle to you, but what you've done for my family is more than we could've hoped. You've saved us all."
Caroline looked down where their hands were clasped, heart fluttering in excitement. "Have you sobered up," she asked, her tone teasing despite her serious gaze.
Klaus understood what she was really asking. "Yes." It was little more than a ragged whisper that escaped his lips as he took her in his arms. So warm. Steady. The raw power he possessed made her shiver.
His kisses grew deep, with that slow, sensual drag of lips and blunt teeth along her jaw and neck. She craved Klaus' bite. Fingers dipped into his waistband, tugging on his jeans as she popped open the button and greedily attacked the zipper.
Klaus let out a shaky breath at her touch, kissing her collarbone as she ran her hand along his cock, loving how he twitched impatiently. Suddenly, he hoisted her to his waist, flashing them over to the old corner booth leftover from the last time she'd remodeled. They sank into the velvet cushions, Caroline playfully straddling him with a breathless giggle. She tossed back her hair, the hawthorn branches clattering to the floor.
He slid his palms up her thighs, toying with the flirty ruffle of her skirt. "Keep this on," Klaus murmured, dipping his tongue into her cleavage. "Only this," he commanded with a sexy little growl, ripping off her sparkly tank top before peppering her bare breasts with burning kisses.
"Yes," she purred, rocking her hips back and forth, creating a delicious friction against his cock. He was hard for her. An electric thrill shot down her spine as she ground against him, savoring the feel of him poking against her clenched thighs.
"Do you feel that, love" he asked, panting in her ear. Reaching between the slide of their bodies, he rubbed his leaking tip, brushing it along her folds. "That need. Wet. Hot. Mine."
"And mine," Caroline agreed, swiveling her hips until he finally filled her. Big. Big enough that the stretch made her gasp and beg. And she never begged. Until now. "Please, fuck me." She was addicted to the way he moved them both with a passionate force that kept building and building until their sweat-slicked bodies blurred together as one.
Klaus captured her lips again, a punishing kiss that had them both moaning. "Look at you riding me," he growled, digging his claws into her ass as he shredded the skirt to ribbons.
She clenched against every hard stroke, pulling his cock in and holding it tight. She quivered and shook, the slap of their flesh a sensual symphony. "Fuck, there," Caroline groaned, that beautiful, intoxicating wave of pleasure overwhelming her as she rode him through her release.
Klaus tumbled after her, his hips bucking wildly as he mumbled against her lips, "That was bloody amazing."
Caroline gave a delighted chuckle, nestled against his chest as she fought to catch her breath. Silly hybrid.
Ritual stones weren't the only things she could levitate.
