-scene-

Haru shifted, reaching under the table to take Kyo's hand.

Kyo gazed adoringly at the boy across from him.

"You sure it's okay?" Haru asked quietly.

"Hey, you want Ramen, we get Ramen, let it go." Kyo shrugged.

Haru glanced up. "That's not what I meant," he grumbled in reply.

Kyo blinked. "Huh? Oh… that." He shifted his feet. "Haru… I don't care about that stuff. We don't ever have to do it if you-"

"I want to do it!" Haru interrupted quickly. "I just… lost my nerve."

Kyo gave Haru's hand a quick squeeze before letting it go to reach for the menu. He cleared his throat. "Is that sort of thing… so important to you?" he asked.

"Yes." Haru stated firmly.

Kyo dropped the menu. He hadn't expected such a strong response. "Oh…" was all he could think to reply.

Haru studied the older boy for a minute. "You don't want to do it," he decided.

"It's not like that," Kyo defended, exasperated.

"Then what?" Haru demanded.

"Look, I've never done anything like that before!" he snapped. "It makes me nervous, and I know damn well that you haven't either, so don't act so full of yourself."

Haru shot Kyo a look before turning to study the menu.

"What?" Kyo challenged. "Don't gimme that look, I barely touched you and you practically fainted."

Haru slammed a fist down on the table. "Shut-up! Alright? Yah! I got scared, so what? You were scared too! That doesn't mean I don't want to! That doesn't mean I'm not ready to! I just froze up, alright!"

Kyo glanced up, surprised. The boy's chest was heaving and his cheeks were pink with embarrassment. "Hey, Haru… cool it… you know I didn't mean…"

"What can I get for you?" the waitress asked, stepping up to their table.

"Uh…" Kyo blinked, trying to focus on the current situation. "One tonkatsu and…" he glanced to Haru.

"Miso." Haru replied in a clipped voice.

"Thank you, it'll be a few minutes." The girl smiled cheerily before turning away.

Kyo waited until she had left before turning back to his friend. "Haru…" he reached under the table for the boy's hand, but Haru was in no mood to be cooperative, and he yanked it away. "C'mon…" Kyo murmured. "I'm sorry, okay? Look… I wanna do those things with you too… I really do…" he flushed a deep red. "But it doesn't have to be right now. I… I mean, what if I'm not ready yet?"

Haru glanced up, searching Kyo's eyes, trying to see if he was being patronized. He sighed, reaching out and taking Kyo's hand again. "I wanna stay with you tonight." He declared.

-scene-

The two walked slowly through the little park by the school. Haru kicked a rock, lacing his pinky with Kyo's as they walked. "Sorry you had to wait so long to eat," he apologized. "Is that why you don't like going for Ramen?"

Kyo nodded. "It's too hot," he replied, "Cat's tongue." He grimaced.

Haru laughed, genuinely amused. "Yah, that figures." He thought a moment, stopping in his tracks.

"Hn?" Kyo asked. "What's up?"

Haru turned to face him, a wicked grin on his face. "So… your tongue is really sensitive, huh?" he asked.

"I just told you that." Kyo replied, taking a step back. "What's with that look?"

Haru slid a hand up to cup Kyo's cheek gently, leaning in. "So what does this feel like?" he purred, sliding his tongue lightly along Kyo's bottom lip before slipping it into his mouth, rubbing gently against the older boy's tongue.

Kyo shivered, his hands falling to Haru's hips. The boy knew how to kiss!

Haru pressed his body to Kyo's, continuing with his ministrations until he could feel that they were having an effect.

"H- Haru," Kyo panted, trying to step back, but Haru held him fast, not about to be denied again.

He slid a hand gently down the back of Kyo's pants, squeezing slightly.

Kyo jumped, flushing crimson.

"I just got shy before," Haru murmured into Kyo's lips, "but I'm not shy now." He moved his lips to Kyo's neck, licking and nipping at the skin.

"Whoa, wait, Haru… knock it off," Kyo tried to protest, twisting out of the younger man's embrace.

Haru stood a moment, panting. "Now you don't want to?" he asked.

Kyo shook his head. "Look, there's more to it than that, alright! It's not just, I want to, or I don't! Why is everything so… black and white with you!"

Haru cocked his head to the side, considering the comparison. "Because that's just how it is." He replied. "If I want to do something, I do, If I don't, I don't. What's so difficult about that?"

"Oh, so earlier? What was that about? Wasn't so easy then, was it? When we were at the school?" Kyo challenged.

Haru crossed his arms. "Yes it was." He replied. "I didn't want to then, I want to now."

Kyo growled, getting frustrated with Haru's circular logic. "Well too bad!" he shouted. "'Cause I don't want to anymore!"

Haru glanced down. "You don't have to be like that, Kyo." He said quietly, a bit threateningly. "You don't have to treat me like I'm stupid."

"Or what!" Kyo seethed. "You'll turn black! Go ahead! It's your solution for everything! There's nothing wrong with you! It's all in your head! You just fake it so you've got something to hide behind! The rest of us have to take responsibility for our actions! We have to make choices based on consequences! It'd be pretty damn lucky if every time I got scared or frustrated, I could just go crazy for a minute. Then later I could say Oh, wow, you really should be more careful about me, sometimes I just go crazy. That's what it's like for you, isn't it! That's why you act so damn fearless! 'Cause no one makes you face up to your problems! Not your mom or dad, not Shigure, not even Hattori! You've got them all wrapped around your little finger, but not me, Haru! Don't even think that you can control me like another pawn in your stupid little game!" He kicked a stray rock angrily, sending it clattering down the alley, making Haru jump. "I agreed to go out with you… no, I agreed to go out with Hatsuharu Sohma. The Hatsuharu who kissed me on the train! The Hatsuharu who held my hand and walked with me in the snow! The Hatsuharu… who got nervous on the stage in the school auditorium, who took my hand… and asked me if we could have ramen for dinner… Not some punk who thinks he can control people with his manic-depressive whims."

Haru shifted uncomfortably. "Is that what you think?" he demanded. "Is that what you fucking think! You think I like this? I can't even control myself and I'm supposed to have some sort of fucking control over everybody else! Do you think I like freaking out! Yah, I like it! You don't even know! You sit there and preach to me about responsibility and consequences like I don't know, I fucking know! I know about all that, and guilt too! You think I don't remember the shit I do when I black out? I do. I know exactly where I've been and who I've wronged, and sometimes, I do some really bad shit. Sometimes, when I wake up out of it, I could fucking die just from how much I hate myself!" Without a moment's hesitation, he hauled off, punching himself in the face.

"Haru!" Kyo shouted, grabbing the boy's arms. "Knock it off! What the hell do you think you're doing!"

"I wanna snap out of it!" Haru cried. "I don't wanna be like this!" He struggled to get free from Kyo's grasp, to find some way to end this little mental break.

"Well then hold still for a goddamn minute!" Kyo growled. With that, he put his lips harshly on the younger boy's, pulling Haru's body flush up against his own. With his free hand, he gently cradled the back of the boy's head, sliding his fingers through the downy curls at the base of his neck.

When he finally broke away, Haru remained motionless for a moment before eventually opening his eyes, peering shyly up at the older boy.

"Hmm…" he breathed softly. "You always do it, you know? You know just what to do to make me feel like such an idiot." He smiled.

"Yah well…" Kyo sighed. "Only when you're being an idiot." He let the boy go, digging his hands into his pockets self-consciously. "So you really… can't control that crap, or..?"

Haru shook his head, feeling equally awkward. "Maybe I need… pills or something." He shrugged. "It's bullshit." They stood awkwardly a moment longer in silence. Haru rocked back on his heels then chanced a glance in Kyo's direction. "So…" he cleared his throat. "You liked it when I kissed you on the train, huh?"

"Ah! You Shut-up!" Kyo punched the younger boy in the arm, sliding his hand down to lace his fingers in Haru's. "You're such a pain."

It was late before the boy's finally rounded the corner to Shigure's domestic estate.

"Better keep it quiet." Kyo warned.

"Nn-hn." Haru agreed. "I'll have to call Ha'ri, though."

"S'okay," Kyo agreed. "Use my Keitai." ((A/N Keitai is what Japanese teenagers call their cell phones. They decorate them with stickers and little toys and things. It's rather trendy. .))

Haru grinned. "You carry a Keitai?"

"Shigure makes me!" he spat, embarrassed, forcing the phone into Haru's hand.

The younger boy inspected the phone for a minute. "And he makes you keep this cute little kitty on it too?" He teased.

"It's from Tohru!" he spat. "Don't be stupid!"

Haru laughed, flipping open the phone and punching in Hattori's number.

Kyo listened intently, hoping that Haru wouldn't be in too much trouble.

"Ha'ri? No… At Sensei's… yah, I just got back. No… With Kyo. Did you? I didn't mean to worry you… no. I got lost. Nn-hn… okay. I will tomorrow. No, I really will this time. Yah, I know that… well I'm not exactly an amateur, Ha'ri… Yah, I'm lying. Okay… I'll see you." With that, he hung up, handing the phone back to Kyo, who wore a questioning look. "I told him you took my virginity." He explained with a grin.

"YOU WHAT!" Kyo yelped.

"Keep it down!" Haru chuckled, "He knows I'm full of shit." He flicked Kyo on the nose, taking a few strides ahead of him. "At least for now…" he added.