This time, I'm not late for the update!
Enjoy!
Chapter Six : In-between
"Do you remember… the boy?" Ladybug's gaze darted away as she questioned her partner. It was kind of strange to talk about this right where she had first brought it up in the past.
"Well, how could I forget? This rooftop is the one you told me in no uncertain terms that you liked this other boy," he stated. Perhaps more tactlessly than she was used to, but she couldn't hold it against him. She was digging the knife in a wound which probably didn't need to be reopened.
Smooth Ladybug.
"I'm unsure whether it's a good idea or not to keep up this conversation, you know." She looked at him and placed a gentle hand on his knee. "If you don't want to hear me talk about this, I'm willing to listen to you first, Chaton."
His hand came to rest over hers as he reassured her. "I'm fine, carry on."
She looked up into his eyes, seeing the incentive filling them and encouraging her to open up to him about her concerns. So she took the plunge—not a quick dip in the pool, but a deep dive into the ocean.
"I'm worried he might fall in love with me. This wasn't part of the plan when he and I… got… closer… Very, intimately close actually." She bit on her bottom lip after saying that.
A beat of silence.
Chat Noir blinked at her, pretty flabbergasted by her words, and she had to squeeze his knee for him to finally react.
"I… I don't… I don't get it," he babbled.
"I'm having sex with him," Ladybug blurted out.
"No, no! I mean—" He paused and closed his eyes for a second as he took a deep breath. "I had figured that fact out," he said in a cringe voice. "Yet… isn't that supposed to be… a good thing?"
"It probably would have been. If I hadn't gotten over him. Or at least, almost over him."
"Almost?" Chat Noir gasped. "I'm not sure I'm following you quite well. You can't be almost over someone!" He threw his hand in the air as his demeanor became more fussy and his pitch raised. "Either you're over him…" His hands moved to his left to show one side of the options to consider, "...or you're not." His hands now moved to his right, introducing the second option.
"Are you over me?" Ladybug snapped back, tongue-in-cheek. "Because, it seems that you just told me about another woman, right?"
"I… this… this is a tricky question because it's… complicated." He wriggled next to her, obviously feeling uncomfortable with the topic.
Though this was exactly the feeling she wanted to point out. A third option… kind of.
"See? Same problem. Things are complicated because there's another man. It feels like having one foot in two shoes." She sighed and looked up at the stars, stargazing as if the night sky would give her a solution to her every doubt.
"Another?" He gasped so loudly that a swarm of pigeons flew not far from them, passing over their heads and making him sneeze twice.
"Bless you."
"Thank you," he muttered with a finger pressed flat under his nose, preventing a third sneeze to come out. "So… another? And are you… are you having, you know?"
"No!" she shouted vehemently before her pitch dropped a few octaves. "We're not. I'm not having sex with two men. It's different with… the other."
"You love him, isn't it?"
"Yes." Determination filled her answer, the tone of her voice assertive and confident as her gaze intently locked with his. If the intensity now hovering between them didn't emphasize the truth of her words, she didn't know how to make the underlying message sound clearer.
Over the years, he was the other man she had grown affection for. Through numerous battles, she had seen his bravery, his loyalty, his kindness and his humor (though sometimes unbearable but nevertheless endearing). Through defeats and victories, she had seen the worst and the best of him, and he had seen the worst and the best of her. They unequivocally went through a lot together—enough for Chat's nine lives if you asked her and such trials don't leave you unscathed. They change you forever. They change how you see the world, the others, and even your longtime-repressed feelings… You're eventually falling, getting up, falling and getting up again, and then… when you're not expecting it at all, you're falling once more… but this time; in love… with your hardships' partner. The one who has gone through everything with you… and has changed as much as you have.
Caught up in the memories of the hard days, it took her a moment to realize that Chat Noir's gaze was trailing down her face and carefully tracing her every feature. As if she was a mirage about to disappear at any time and of which he wanted to paint the smallest details in his memory before she left. She had to admit, it left her breathless.
She couldn't help but do the same, her eyes roaming from the messy golden hair and the intense green eyes to the chiseled jaws which made his face so attractive. She then saw his mouth parting slightly, his bottom lip quivering and Adam's apple bobbing up and down before her nickname made it all the way out.
"M'Lady…" he whispered in a weak voice.
At what point did Chat's breath become so close and warm on her lips? They had undeniably grown closer while they were both lost in their contemplation.
"M'Lady," he said again, closing his eyes and balling his hands into fists. "Please don't say it's me, I... I can't take this. The other woman... I never felt so happy with anyone else before besides you… but you never see me that way and I… I moved on… not easily… but I'm getting there finally… I like her a lot... I would like to believe that she and I are already building something together even though I didn't want to fall in love ever again... "
His words cut deeper than a knife. It caused her physical pain to hear him speak that way even though she realized that she couldn't be selfish if he loved someone else. She couldn't start to make him fall back into his past doubts. He had just said so himself; he was finally moving on.
There had never been a more vulnerable moment settling between them, threatening to upset their entire balance and she couldn't let this happen.
So she fooled him (and herself) to ease the mood. Recoiling, she faked a laugh to past her lips in hope that he wouldn't unmask the true emotions she forced herself to hide.
"You?" Her laugh increased, perhaps even a tad over the top to be entirely believable so she collected herself back together quickly, clearing her throat and continuing, "I'm sorry, Chaton, but I'm not talking about you. You can put your heart at ease with your future girlfriend," she blatantly lied.
Her partner sighed in relief, his reaction only increasing the pain she felt inside her whole body, deep down her heart and soul. The drawback… It had to happen eventually... More painful than a boomerang that would come snapping back at her face. She had turned him down, and it was now his turn to do so. All the blame was on her; she was late and had missed her chance. Speak of ladybug's luck…
Her eyes darted up at the night sky again. She could fly away right now. All it would take for her to do so would be her space power up… but Adrien was waiting for her and it wouldn't be fair to leave him hanging.
"M'Lady?" This time, it was Chat's turn to put a gentle hand on her knee and squeeze her lost thoughts out of her and back to reality. "You know… Maybe you should give the longtime boy a chance. Some men need time to realize what's just in front of them. If you loved him, and a part of you still does, don't hold back his lack of discernment against him. But if you're sure the other man is what you need, then go for it. Don't miss another chance to be happy with someone you really like."
Ladybug looked back at him, feeling the familiar pringle of tears starting to pool in her eyes. Life was really laughing at her and messing with her miserable fate tonight.
"I will… I will think about it." She wiped her wet cheekbones with the back of her gloved hand and stood up swiftly. "Maybe you should ask your girl out and be happy with someone too, Chaton. You deserve to be loved. Besides, any sane woman would fall for your charm."
"You're probably insane then." He snorted.
"Yeah… it must be something like that." She forced a watery chuckle out of her fake smiling mouth. "Anyway… It's getting late, I better go back home now. You should probably do the same."
Her partner nodded and stood up, his impressive height soon towering her as she rose on tiptoe to place a soft kiss on his cheek.
"Good night, mon Chaton," she whispered as she slowly pulled back. Her heart was hammering hard in her chest, threatening to escape her ribcage only for it to try sneaking into his and settle there.
"Good night, M'Lady." The way he murmured the words sounded strangely like a bittersweet goodbye and left her able to taste the bile gathering in her throat.
See you on next friday, Miraculous kisses!
