I know, I know, SUPER late update than usual, just read the note at the end of the chapter for more information.
BELDAM, MARILYN, AND DOOPLISS (Disguised as Rosalina):
The three entered the alternative basement hallway from the cellar and were sweating in intense fear.
"HOLY MOTHER OF FISH STICKS! WHAT THE FUDGE WAS THAT ROOM ALL ABOUT!? WHO IN THE WORLD PUTS A CRAPLOAD OF SWINGING AXES ALL IN ONE ROOM WHERE THERE'S BARELY ANY ROOM TO DODGE THEM!?" Beldam screamed in anger and distress.
"I know, right!? Only a psychotic jackass would put annoying traps like those in there! Those stupid axes even chopped some of my hair off! Ugh, that does it, I am SO getting extensions once we're out of here!" Doopliss/Rosalina complained and checked his/her nails.
"Doopliss, you are so far in the closet that you're finding Christmas presents," Beldam insulted.
"UGH! Talk to the hand!" Doopliss/Rosalina scowled and put his/her hand right in front of Beldam's face. Beldam exploded in laughter.
"HAHAHAHAHA! OH MAN! I think I just took a trip back to the 90's!" She shouted.
"Guh! Guh!" Marilyn called out, pointing to the end of the hallway.
"What's up, Marilyn? The end of the hallway? Oh...you think the gem may be through that door?" Beldam asked for clarification. Marilyn nodded.
"Hmm, yes. I am getting these strange vibes that are coming from over in that direction. This CLEARLY means that something important is nearby because I, Rosalina, am a magical diva that can sense stuff that give off irregular energies. I swear to god, I feel like all of this is some metaphor for being high on some extreme drug," Doopliss/Rosalina stated, trying a little too hard to impersonate the real Rosalina.
"Hey wait a second, the real Rosalina can use magic, right? So why the hell didn't you use your magic that you got from copying her to stop the swinging axes or make them blow up or something!? UGH, YOU ARE COMPLETELY USELESS AND I WISH YOU WOULD JUST GO BACK TO YOUR UGLY CASTLE AND RING YOUR GODDAMN BELL SO YOU CAN TURN EVERYONE INTO DISGUSTING PIG CREATURES AND DO NOTHING THAT'S OF WORTH IN YOUR LIFE!" Beldam exploded in anger.
"Excuse me!? How can you tell me I'm useless when you also have magical powers? Has your old age gotten to you to the point where you have frequent memory loss? Do you not remember the time you and Marilyn 'attempted' to blast the crap out of Mario and his partners with magic? Oh, and let's not forget the fact that you can disappear into the ground, which means that you could've COMPLETELY AVOIDED THE SWINGING AXES ALTOGETHER!" Doopliss retorted. Beldam tried to get a reply in, but couldn't think of a witty comeback. Doopliss gave a smirk, knowing that he was victorious over the shadow siren.
"Guhhhh..." Marilyn groaned, not wanting to be a part of this pointless argument.
"Well...whatever. Let's just go and find that stupid gem," Beldam finally spoke and led the way down. They opened the door at the end of the hallway, only to come upon another hallway with a door at the end. The three started to become suspicious and a bit nervous for what laid behind the door.
Beldam grabbed the doorknob, slowly turned it and pushed it open.
"Oh my god!" She shrieked.
DK, ROSALINA, AND WALUIGI:
"Rosalina? Are you alright now?" DK asked, kneeling down to her. Rosalina sighed, slowly stood up, and faced DK.
"Yeah. I'm okay. Don't worry about me. Let's just continue on with the search, shall we?" She elegantly asked.
"Hmm, I don't know, DK. Does Rosalina not seem right to you? What if she's possessed and has the potential to cut us into pieces with her mind!?" Waluigi shouted in fear.
Rosalina rolled her eyes at him. "I'm not possessed, Waluigi. Come on, let's go search in the room at the right. I don't think I wanna go into that left room just yet."
"Of course, whatever makes you feel comfortable!" DK said in support. Waluigi tugged on DK's arm in annoyance.
"What are you, her bodyguard? Stop trying to be a white knight already! It's disgusting, embarrassing, and cheesy beyond measure!" He silent but angrily complained.
DK made a scowl. "It's called being a good and loyal friend. But of course, you wouldn't know something like that considering you have no close friends."
"I do too! I'm cool with...errr...Pauline and Birdo...and uhh...Wario!" Waluigi said, trying to come up with names.
"Pauline? Since when do you consider yourselves to be 'close'? Last I heard, she dumped the punch bowl over your head when you 'attempted' to crash her party a few months ago. Birdo? Do you not remember the huge argument you guys had back in Wet-Dry World? Yeah, you both apologized to each other, but that really isn't being 'close'. And Wario...are you kidding me? He's your brother, so of course you're going to be close with him! Geez. Just face it Waluigi, you're a lone wolf who's only interested in himself," DK harshly replied. Even though he didn't show it, what DK said actually hurt Waluigi's feelings a little bit.
"You know, for someone who's suppose to be a 'secondary leader,' you sure know how to be quite a bastard! I thought you were more kind and didn't care what people think of you?" Waluigi questioned.
"I'm only a bastard to people who are unnecessarily rude to me. And YOU are always rude to me! Did you completely forget every single insult you've directed towards me ever since we woke up in that building? You're one of the biggest hypocrites I've ever met. Get over yourself already!" DK said a bit angrier this time. He was really getting tired of Waluigi's obnoxiousness.
"Okay fine! I'll admit, I am rude to you a lot, but I HAVE given you compliments too! I've said a few times that you give good empowerment speeches and I even pushed for you to be the leader over Daisy. I should get some recognition award for that!" Waluigi replied.
"Yeah, but the insults outweigh the compliments by far. I appreciate the ego boost though," DK grinned.
"Are you two done talking about unrelated issues or what? We have a gem to search for!" Rosalina yelled in impatience from the doorway.
"Oh yes! We're coming!" DK and Waluigi said at the exact same time. They both entered the doorway the same time as well, getting themselves both stuck.
"UGH! DK! MOVE YOUR WIDELOAD OF A BODY OUT OF THE WAY! YOU'RE CRUSHING ME!" Waluigi screamed.
"Ha! If you think I'm crushing you now, then wait until I actually crush you ON PURPOSE!" DK laughed and got through fast. Waluigi almost fell over but managed to make it safely in.
The three were in the breaker room. All there was in there was a small table, a light that was turned on, some huge switch at the back wall, and a bunch of barrels all stacked up in rows on top of each other at the right wall.
"Hmm, I'm willing to bet that the gem is in one of those barrels there. If it isn't then we've just wasted a bunch of time and should throw a pity party because we deserve it!" Waluigi complained yet again.
"Well I certainly feel the gem's aura, but it's really weak. Perhaps it is in one of those barrels. How are we suppose to open them though if they're locked shut?" Rosalina pondered.
"That's what I'm here for! To destroy the undestroyable! To beat the tough enemies senseless! To wreak havoc upon every dark creature that terrorizes this spectacular planet! I am...DK AKA DONKEY KONG!" DK proudly stated and then music and singing started to play out of nowhere.
"Donkey Kong, he's our hero,
Gonna take pollution down to zero,
He's our powers magnified,
And he's fighting on the planet's side
Donkey Kong, he's our hero,
Gonna take pollution down to zero,
Gonna help him put asunder,
Bad guys who like to loot and plunder
We're the planeteers,
You can be one too!
'Cause saving our planet is the thing to do,
Looting and polluting is not the way,
Hear what Donkey Kong has to say:
'THE POWER IS YOURS!'"
After the song ended, Waluigi and Rosalina stared at each other in confusion.
"Umm...okay, that was incredibly stupid. Where the hell did all that crappy music and singing come from? Was it the ghosts or is some other force trying to screw with our heads?" Waluigi asked.
"No idea, but I actually would rather not know, to be honest. Alright, let's start looking in the barrels!" Rosalina clapped her hands and went over to them.
DK grabbed one of the barrels and shook it hard to see if anything would be inside there.
"Nope. Nothing in there. Next!" DK said and tossed the barrel backwards. The barrel smashed into Waluigi and knocked him to the ground.
"OWWWWWW! YOU STUPID APE! YOU'RE GOING TO PAY FOR THAT!" Waluigi cried and got up...only to be hit by another barrel thrown by DK.
"Ugh...you...loser...I...officially...hate...all.. .monkeys...don't care how racist or bigoted that sounds!" Waluigi said in pain.
"Nothing in here either!" DK said, and tossed yet another barrel backwards. This time, the barrel hit the light bulb and smashed it into pieces, making darkness flood the entire room.
"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! WE'RE IN THE DARK! Someone save me, I'm going to die!" Waluigi annoyingly cried out.
"Waluigi, calm yourself down and stay where you are. I'm going to try something..." Rosalina said.
"Oh...yeah, sorry about that you guys. I didn't realize my barrel throwing would actually destroy the light bulb. Oh well, at least nobody got hurt!" DK said in positivity.
Waluigi loudly growled. "I swear DK, you really piss me off! One of these days I'm gonna come over to your island and steal your banana hoard, and then sell all of them at a farmer's market!"
"I'd like to see you try it, stick man," DK snickered.
"Well...hey! Who is that touching my leg? Is that you Rosalina? It is, isn't it!?" Waluigi asked in hope.
"Uhh...no. I'm not even near you," Rosalina awkwardly responded.
"...Oh. It better not be you, DK!" Waluigi yelled.
"Not even in your dreams, Waluigi," DK replied.
Suddenly, a light glowed in the room, coming from Rosalina. She held some small, yellow ball that illuminated the room with light. DK and Waluigi stared at it in amazement.
"Woah! How did you do that?" DK asked.
"Magic, of course. I know I said I was extremely cautious of using magic, but I figured that this can be an exception," Rosalina smiled.
"Cool! So...what was touching my leg then?" Waluigi asked and looked down toward his legs. He screamed when he saw a bunch of mice there.
"MICE!? That is so totally gross!" DK freaked out and stepped backwards, only to trip over himself and fall back.
"DK? Are you okay?" Rosalina asked and went over to where he was standing. DK wasn't there. It was like he just disappeared into thin air.
"Oh my goodness! Waluigi, DK is gone! Where could he have went!? This must be the ghosts' doing...it's the only explanation," Rosalina said and started to panic. She turned around and screamed.
Waluigi's eyes were full on white and he was laughing madly while scratching himself hard on the cheeks, cutting into his skin, and beginning to bleed out. He walked towards Rosalina.
"No, stop! Get away from me! HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
LUIGI AND DAISY:
"How could you guys just destroy the all powerful god of vacuums Poltergust 3000 for!? Do you not realize that Professor E. Gadd spent years making that thing? He'll probably make me pay 84365236 coins for it now to repair the damage!" Luigi complained.
"Uhh, why the hell WOULDN'T we destroy it? Us ghosts absolutely despise that disgusting toy! Did you just suddenly forget everything that happened last time you came in here or are you a big airhead?" One of the gold ghosts scowled.
"Luigi is NOT an airhead, especially when you compare him to a few 'other' people in our group...but anyways, you already destroyed the vacuum of doom, making us completely useless in attacking you guys so how about you just leave us alone and let us wander off in the darkness?" Daisy suggested with an innocent grin.
"I don't think so, princess! We're gonna have some fun with you both, if you know what I mean," One of the other gold ghosts said, rubbing his hands together in excitement.
"Uhh...you don't mean that in a sexual way, do you?" Luigi asked in fear.
The same gold ghost widened his eyes and made a face of disgust. "WHAT!? EW, NO! We aren't like that! We're not THAT cruel and devious!"
Luigi smiled in relief. "Oh good, because I really thought that the 'fun' acts would involve me and Daisy taking our clothes off and you guys would all be-"
"STOP STOP STOP! DON'T YOU DARE FINISH THE REST OF THAT SENTENCE! AGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH! That does it! You ghosts, get the 'stuff' this instant!" The gold ghost angrily ordered to the other gold ghosts. They all nodded and disappeared.
"Wait...stuff!? Why does there have to be 'stuff'? Why can't be there just be smoothies and precious little kittens for once? Why does everything have to be so morbid, threatening, and negative!? Is it really that hard to just be positive in this forsaken world nowadays?" Daisy theatrically complained.
"Yes. Yes it is, and I'm proud to say that I love being negative! It's one of my best qualities, even when I was living!" The ghost happily replied.
Daisy snapped her fingers. "You just did a paradox right there. You say you love being negative, yet you just complimented yourself on that aspect. Looks like you weren't that smart when you were alive either!"
"You go, girlfriend! Speak the truth!" Luigi cheered on and high-fived Daisy.
"Well...I...you...but...damn! I just got told off!" The ghost reluctantly admitted.
The ghosts reappeared and one of them said, "Um, we can't find the 'stuff' anywhere! We either lost it or someone else took it!"
"WHAT!? BUT...NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! WELL, WHERE THE FRICK CAN THE 'STUFF' BE, THEN?" The main ghost exploded in rage.
"It's up there!" Daisy yelled, pointing at the ceiling. All the ghosts looked up and while they were distracted, Daisy grabbed Luigi and dragged him in to the next room over, which was the Anteroom.
"Wow, I actually can't believe that worked! Who knew ghosts could be so gullible?" Daisy said in surprise.
"What do you think the 'stuff' was though? I have a bad feeling it might've been whips...or maybe even demonic clowns! Brrrr!" Luigi shrieked.
"Who cares? Let's just go right now before the ghosts catch up to us," Daisy pleaded and turned to walk over to the next door on over. She turned around again to make sure Luigi was following her and screamed when she saw Luigi standing on the ceiling.
"LUIGI!? HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET UP THERE!?" She shouted.
"I don't know! I just blinked and all of a sudden I was transported to the ceiling! Get me down from here!" Luigi cried.
"How am I suppose to get you down? This completely defies the laws of physics or something science related!" Daisy yelled and started to panic. Suddenly, Daisy was thrown into the door that she was about to head into and landed inside a room that had mirrors for walls and a black and white checkered floor. The ceiling was a mirror as well with some light hanging from it. The door slammed shut by itself and Daisy got herself up as quick as possible. She ran to where she thought the door was, but it seemed to have disappeared into the mirror wall. She looked all around her in fear, not knowing what kind of chaotic event was going to happen next.
She looked at herself in one of the mirror walls, and saw her reflection to be extremely tall and somewhat better looking. This actually amazed Daisy.
"Wow, I totally look like a model! Not to sound egotistic, but I look completely hot! I wonder if I should start wearing my 6 inch heels more often?" Daisy said to herself. She turned to the right to look at another mirror wall, and saw her reflection to be short and fat.
"GROSS! I look like the female version of Wario! I hope I never look like that when I get pregnant," Daisy shrieked. She started to realize that these were a lot like funhouse mirrors. She turned right and faced another mirror. She almost screamed when she saw that her reflection was facing the opposite way.
"What the? That can't be..." She whispered and became scared again. Daisy then heard crying that echoed throughout the room, even though the room wasn't that big. It sounded like a girl. Daisy looked all around her to see where it was coming from, but she didn't see no girl. She faced her odd reflection again and jumped in surprise when she saw her reflection crying with tears of blood falling out of her eyes.
"No...NO! THAT'S NOT REAL! STOP DOING THIS TO ME!" Daisy screamed and then took her shoes off and threw it against the mirror, smashing the entire wall into pieces. Behind the mirror wall was just a regular white wall.
As Daisy slowed her panicking, she felt a sudden pain on her right arm. She looked at it and saw a deep scratch that was starting to bleed out.
"What the hell? Where did this come from?" She asked herself, and turned around to see her tall and gorgeous reflection putting on a creepy grin and still scratching her arm deeply. Daisy cried out as she felt more pain. She took her other shoe off and threw it at that mirror wall and it shattered to pieces just like the other one. After that, Daisy ripped off a small part from the bottom of her shirt and pressed it against her wound to stop the bleeding.
She then turned to her short and fat reflection to see if it would do anything. The reflection grabbed her hair, and tore some of it out. This affected the real Daisy, as she screamed when a small chunk of her hair had fallen out.
"Please, just stop doing this! I DON'T WANNA DIE!" Daisy started to sob, but her 'reflection' gave no remorse. It tore out another piece of her hair, making Daisy scream out again. She grabbed the shoe she just threw a minute ago, and threw it at the mirror wall, also shattering it into pieces. She turned around yet again to face her reflection from the wall she entered from and just now realized that it was a regular reflection of her, but she couldn't take any chances. She destroyed the mirror wall with her shoe just like with the other ones. Daisy was surprised to see how easy the mirrors broke, either that or she has a lot more power than she realized. The door appeared before her, leading back into the previous room, but she remembered that there was one more thing to do.
The ceiling mirror. It was still intact. Daisy had to destroy it just to be safe. She grabbed both of her shoes and tossed up in the air with as much strength as she could. Both of her shoes successfully hit the ceiling mirror and smashed it into many pieces. However, this was bad for Daisy because the falling mirror pieces could kill her.
"Oh crap...WHAT DID I JUST DO!? AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
Back in the previous room, Luigi jumped in fright when he heard Daisy's scream. He knew that she was in trouble, but he felt worthless and depressed at the fact that there was nothing he could to help her, because he was stuck on a freaking ceiling for an unknown reason!
"Daisy! Oh man...we are so screwed. Okay, that does it, I'm going to pray to the Star Spirits right now. I haven't done it in a long time, but it certainly can't hurt! Okay...Star Spirits? Can you hear me? Please please PLEASE do not let Daisy die! I would go insane without her in my life! I need her and I wanna marry her someday and have a bunch of kids who will be given extremely basic names cause I'm too lazy to think of something original!" Luigi yelled in the typical praying position.
While he was still praying, out of the vase that was standing on top one of the small tables came rising out black hair. More and more of it came slithering out and floating towards Luigi. Luigi stopped praying and opened his eyes when he got a feeling that something was in there with him. He screamed as he saw the never-ending piece of hair shoot towards him and grab him by the legs. More of the hair started to wrap around Luigi until his entire body was wrapped in the hair. He could barely breathe and was left suspended hanging from the ceiling (or the floor, whichever way you want to look at it).
TOAD AND TOADETTE:
"Wh-who the hell are you!? GET OUT OF MY SISTER'S BODY RIGHT NOW!" Toad screamed at the possessed Toadette.
"Your sister is mine now. I quite like her body actually, it's small and thin, yet I feel like I can just run a thousand miles without getting tired, you know? Your sister is quite the energetic one. I'm definitely going to have fun with this one!" 'Toadette' said and evilly laughed.
"NO! BRING MY SISTER BACK YOU SON OF A BITCH! I WON'T LET YOU DO THIS!" Toad raged and punched 'Toadette' right in the jaw. However, it seemed to have little effect on her as 'Toadette' didn't seem hurt one bit. 'Toadette' countered by kicking Toad in the chest, making him fly all the way across the room and hit his back against the wall.
"Hahahaha! MORON! Did you really think you could hurt me that easily? You must not watch a lot of supernatural movies and shows. I could rip your spine out before you even take half of a step, but no, I want to have a little fun first. I want to take advantage of this wondrous moment!" 'Toadette' laughed again and walked over to him.
"Ugh...you...bitch...fine, how about I make you a deal then? Let my sister go, and we will leave immediately and never come here again!" Toad proposed, but 'Toadette' smirked and immediately shook her head.
"Sorry, buddy. It ain't gonna work like that. Once you come in, you're never getting out. Besides, it would be no fun if I let you guys go out unharmed! What kind of demon would I be if gave you any sympathy and care?" 'Toadette' replied.
'Eh, that's true, but it certainly didn't hurt to try. So, how are we gonna do this then? What method of torture are you gonna do to me? Whatever you got in store, I can handle it, unless it's death because there obviously isn't a way I can handle that. Please say it isn't death!" Toad begged in worry.
"Are you deaf or something? I just said we were going to have some 'fun' first before we even get close to the death part! Sheesh, I wonder if you're like this with your sister. You must be so full of neglect towards her...it's sickening. And the way you criticize her body image just for gaining a couple pounds? You are a terrible brother! Heh...you would fit just right in with us," 'Toadette' smirked.
"Sorry but I don't exactly see myself as a part of the 'demon brigade'. I'm not a terrible brother either, I'm just looking out for her health! It's what family members do! But of course, you wouldn't know that because you never had a family. You're a demon. Something that isn't even a person in the first place. You have no place in this world. You're just something that gets off on harming people. Well, you know what? You can go screw yourself because I am out of here!" Toad told the possessed Toadette off and walked to the door. He tried to open it, but it was locked, unsurprisingly.
"Um, mind getting me out now?" Toad asked.
"Oh, you've gotta jiggle the knob a little," 'Toadette' replied.
"Just like this?" Toad followed the order and successfully opened the door. "Cool! Well, see ya!"
'Toadette' rolled her eyes, knowing that he wasn't just going to leave her there and what a moron he is.
"3...2...1..."
Toad kicked the door open and ran in. "Hey wait a second, I forgot about my sister! Get out of her body right now or else I'll...um...act super annoying like I usually do!"
"Well, before you do that, would you like some pizza?" 'Toadette' asked, reaching behind her back and grabbed out a large plate of hot, steaming pizza and showed it to him.
Toad's eyes widened. "Uhh, where the hell did you grab that from? Your ass?"
"No, you little doofus! It's called magic, surely you have heard of that word, yes? You learned it when you were in elementary school? Or did you just completely fail at everything during that time and grew up to be a bonehead who doesn't even know how to do simple division?" 'Toadette' taunted.
"I know how to do division! It's basically a lot like cutting pie into smaller and smaller pieces, only you use numbers with it instead of food, obviously. Was that a good comparison?" Toad asked for confirmation.
"Do you really expect me to answer that with a 'Yes'?" 'Toadette' scowled.
"...No..." Toad admitted in shame.
"Good...NOW EAT THE PIZZA!" 'Toadette' yelled and shoved one of the pieces into his mouth. Toad cried out and swallowed a large piece of the pizza before spitting the rest of it mouth. He gagged and almost threw up on the spot.
"DUDE! THERE WERE FREAKING SALAMI TOPPINGS ON THAT SLICE OF PIZZA! I'M ALLERGIC TO SALAMI! WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO, KILL ME!?" Toad screamed, wiping his mouth with his hand.
"That's the plan, genius. Now get ready for some more! You make fun of your sister for gaining weight, well, let's see how you feel when you eat a bunch of junk food and gain a crapload of calories!" 'Toadette' roared and shoved another piece of Salami pizza into Toad's mouth. Toad cried out again, feeling the symptoms of his Salami allergy starting to take place. He tried to spit the pizza out, but 'Toadette' kept on shoving more of the slices into his mouth. Toad started to itch himself aggressively all over his body, his symptoms flaring up. 'Toadette' laughed as Toad spit out the rest of the pizza and continued to scratch everywhere.
"Aw, come on now! You're not making this any fun! EAT THE FUDGING PIZZA!" 'Toadette' demanded and something took over Toad as his arm took control of itself, grabbed the pizza remains off the floor and shoved it all into his mouth. Toad screamed and cried uncontrollably as he desperately wanted to spit out the pizza but something was making him not to. Not only that, but he kept on scratching himself, leaving behind red marks and small cuts on his skin.
PEACH AND GOOMBELLA:
The two blondes opened their eyes and found themselves in a completely different room that was clearly not the Conservatory. Both of their hearts immediately started to race, thinking that they were taken to some hell-ish place, never to see the real world again. The girls stood up and shrieked when they saw that they were not in a hell-ish place, and were in some sort of theater, because in front of them were rows and rows of seats and the thing they were standing on was a humongous stage.
"...Goombella...is this hell?" Peach asked, confused.
"Does it, like, look like hell to you?" Goombella asked back.
"Um, not really," Peach answered.
"Then there you go," Goombella scowled a bit, still examining the entire place.
"Wait a second! What if this IS hell? What if hell consists of theaters and we're forced to put on a never ending play so that we'll be acting to death!? It totally makes sense because plays are so boring and sometimes the ticket prices are WAY too expensive!" Peach complained.
"I actually like plays, though. That means that there's no way I would've been sent here if this place is actually hell, because hell would mean having to, like, deal with a bunch of crap I dislike. Does that make any sense?" Goombella asked.
"Not really, but it sounded smart so you're most likely right!" Peach cheered on. Goombella rolled her eyes and turned her attention to the door at the far left corner of the room that suddenly slammed open. Peach and Goombella widened their eyes as they saw a large group of Boos float on in and take their seats, along with Melody Pianissima who was the last one to enter.
"Woah...Goombella, are they all here to see us? Does this really mean we're gonna have to be performing a boring play that only caters to teenagers with low intelligence points?" Peach asked in worry.
"Did you seriously just say 'intelligence points'? Peach...ugh, why am I, like, even surprised at this by now?" Goombella groaned.
Meanwhile, Melody floated towards the two with a giant smirk on her face.
"Hello ladies. I assume you want to know why the hell you are on this stage in a theater. Well, you are about to be performing a musical and all of these lovely Boos are here to watch it. Why are you doing this, you ask? Well, it's punishment for being complete idiots at not even passing a quiz about songs in the freaking Mario series when one of you has been a part of it for years and the other is a huge fan of it! You don't deserve to be called Mario fans!" Melody yelled.
Goombella started to sob. "But...like...THE MARIO VIDEO GAMES ARE LIFE! I DON'T CARE HOW MANY UNINSPIRED AND WEAK 'NEW SUPER MARIO BROS.' GAMES THEY MAKE! I WILL BUY THEM ALL UNTIL THEY STOP MAKING THEM, WHICH HAS A 99.99999999999999999999% CHANCE OF NOT HAPPENING!"
"Wait, we have to do a musical!? NOOOOOOOOOOOO! MUSICALS ARE EVEN WORSE THAN PLAYS! We don't even have a script of what to sing! Plus, I have a sore throat so my voice is in terrible condition right now. Someone, give me some Green Tea!" Peach cried and faked a cough, but Melody easily knew she was trying to pull one over on her.
"Sorry girlies, but unless you REALLY wanna die and be sent to 'The Underworld,' I suggest you go along with this. You can sing about whatever you want, as long as it's catchy and makes sense. Understand, Peach? It has to MAKE SENSE. So don't you dare try to spout off whatever comes into your mind first!" Melody insulted.
"I don't do that! Quit making up lies, you Paris Hilton-wannabe! Wow, I never noticed how pretty the curtains are! How much did it cost to buy all that?" Peach suddenly asked. Goombella and Melody both face palmed themselves.
"But wait, Melody...why are you giving us an extra chance to redeem ourselves? Why aren't you, like, killing us right now and getting it overwith? I mean, not that I WANT to be killed, but you know what I'm saying," Goombella pointed out.
"Because I'm not that ruthless. Even evil has their standards or morals, you know! And I haven't seen a musical in years, so this would be a perfect opportunity to do it! I'll be playing all the instruments so get out there and try not to screw up! Though, I'm betting 50 coins on one of the Boos in the audience that you will and you have a 90% chance of screwing up anyways," Melody laughed and went behind the curtains.
Peach and Goombella nervously gulped and slowly faced the Boo audience. Everyone in there was quiet, staring at the scared and hopeless girls. They didn't want to know what the Boos were thinking. It probably involved either the Boos thinking about how they're gonna hit on the both of them, or thinking of ways to brutally torture them, Saw-style.
The music suddenly came on. It seemed to be a cello and violin playing together in a certain rhythm, like the Habanera, which is an infamous opera tune.
"Um...G-Goombella?" Peach stuttered.
"Don't worry, just follow my lead!" Goombella said and cleared her throat.
Look at us, we are standing on a random stage!
We thought this was hell, the one that's full of rage
But I guess we aren't, Melody had done a trick
So now we're attempting to get through this without getting sick!
Goombella pointed to Peach, indicating that it was her time to sing. Peach opened her mouth and gave it her all.
Come on girlfriend, for me, this can for sure be called Hell!
Did I not tell you that I hate musicals very well?
And by the way, this seems more like an opera
But I swear, I hate those as well, or my name isn't Barbara!
Guess what? It's noooooooooooot!
Goombella mimicked Peach's long note:
We knooooooooooooooooow!
Peach angrily stared at the goomba gal and began to stomp towards her while singing:
Well just maybe, we wouldn't have got into this mess
If it wasn't for some goomba chick who's secretly jealous of my dress!
Goombella gasped and stomped towards Peach as well while singing:
How can this possibly be all of my fault?
You were no help in the quiz, you got questions wrong a lot!
PEACH:
At least I didn't answer a question with the choice of Pac-man
It didn't fit in with the other choices, there is no way it can!
GOOMBELLA:
I told you that it was just a freaking slip up, can't you see!?
I was questioning what it had to do with the songs on the soundtrack CD
But of course, you can keep being on ignorant and dumb
You are more worthless than a homeless bum!
PEACH:
How can I be worthless when I'm the princess?
Everyone loves me, so will you give it a rest!?
Jealousy is definitely not healthy for you
Neither is saying 'like' over 9000 times too!
GOOMBELLA:
This coming from the girl who gets kidnapped every other day?
You're the richest girl in the country, so why don't you tell me
Why you can't even bother to get a sub-machine gun
To fend off that obese turtle who can barely even run?
PEACH AND GOOMBELLA:
Why can't you understand that I'm more important and smart than you ever thooooouuuuuuuuught!?
The girls then proceeded to get into a cat fight and started to pull and rip each other's hair out. The Boos cheered them on and clapped.
One of the Boos was so amazed by the 'performance' that he got tears in his eyes. "Best. Opera. Slash. Musical. Ever!"
DIXIE AND FIRE BRO:
The two were still on the flying dining table, trying their best not to fall off.
"Okay, I'm starting to get sick now! This does not compare to a rollercoaster ride AT ALL! Hey, you don't mind if I throw up on you, do you?" Fire Bro asked.
"What? OF COURSE I MIND! GEEZ! If you need to throw up, then aim anywhere that's NOT close to me. But for now, we have to get out of this room. Okay, when I say 'Go,' we jump off and run like Sonic the Hedgehog over to the door, alright?" Dixie said.
"How am I suppose to run like Sonic the Hedgehog when I'm not Sonic the Hedgehog? The only way that would be possible is if I were to steal a cloning device from the goverment, and you know they have one, and used it on Sonic and became him. Either that, or I can let the ghosts here kill me and have my ghost possess Sonic, as long as they don't drag my ghost to a place full of spinach and taxes. Now THAT, my good friend, is what I would call Hell!" Fire Bro exclaimed.
"As much as I agree with that statement, there is no time to talk about that right now! Okay...1...2...3...GO!" Dixie yelled and the two jumped at the perfect moment and landed safely on the ground. They ran towards the door, opened it, got in, and slammed it shut. Banging and smashing sounds against the door were then heard.
"Crap, we went through the wrong door! We're in the kitchen!" Dixie cried.
"Well, at least we got away from that mess of a poltergeist so we're safe for now. I wonder if there's any Ritz crackers in here?" Fire Bro asked and checked out the cabinets.
"How can you possibly be hungry at a time like this!? UGH! I refuse to eat anything when I'm in a high stress situation, because I know I'll end up getting a stomachache and not enjoy the rich and delicioso flavors of the food!" Dixie shrieked.
Fire Bro rummaged through all the cabinets. "What the hell? All there is in here are energy bars! Ain't nobody got time for that! Let's check out the fridge..." Fire Bro went over to the fridge and opened it, revealing only one carton of milk inside.
"That's it? Seriously? Just milk? What, did this person eat and drink everything else in the fridge except for that? Well...I AM kind of thirsty right now so I suppose I couldn't hurt to have a glass of this," Dixie said. She grabbed the carton of milk and took out a glass cup from the glass cabinet and poured herself the milk.
"Oh thanks, don't mind if I do!" Fire Bro said and snatched the cup from Dixie and gulped the milk down.
"HEY! I WAS ABOUT TO DRINK THAT! Great, now your germs are all over the cup, which means I need to get another cup...which means I have to walk 10 paces to the glass cabinet to get it and I really don't feel like doing that right now!" Dixie angrily complained.
After Fire Bro was done with the milk, he made a disgusted face and stuck his tongue out. "GROSS! This must be Vitamin D milk...or Almond Milk. There isn't any label on the carton so that's what I assume it must be. Whoever bought this has no taste in calcium products!" He then angrily threw the milk carton at the wall and the milk splattered all over the place.
"That's just great, Fire Bro! Now I have nothing to drink! My mouth feels drier than Dry Dry Desert! I'm in desperate need of liquids, man!" Dixie yelled and shook Fire Bro. He thought the monkey chick was starting to get a little crazy.
"Sheesh, if you're that thirsty, then just drink some sink water. I actually prefer sink water over bottled water. I dunno why, I guess it's just because it tastes better to me. I'm surprised I've never gotten any side effects from doing that all these years. Or...maybe I have and I don't know about it yet? Do you think I could turn into a mutant if I drank contaminated water from my sink!?" Fire Bro panicked.
"I sincerely doubt it. Unless some kind of government chemical thing flows into your water system somehow, there's no way there'd be actual side effects. But of course, what ISN'T harmful to you these days? I really should do a PSA one day about how you can easily trip over yourself and bang your head on the wall or some other object, and suffer a concussion. It's happened to Cranky Kong before numerous times, unsurprisingly," Dixie explained whule getting another cup out. She went over to the sink and turned it on, but nothing came out. "AW COME ON! Can't just one thing go right tonight?"
"LOOK OUT!" Fire Bro screamed and shoved Dixie out of the way. A frying pan zoomed right by him and smashed against the wall.
"Well that's just great, we have a poltergeist going on here as well! I wonder if they make any poltergeist repellents? You think E. Gadd has one of those?" Dixie asked. She was then hit in the head by another flying frying pan and all the utensils, dishes, and cups started to be thrown everywhere.
"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! QUICK! GET TO THE DOOR RIGHT NOW!" Fire Bro screamed and tried to run to the door, but was suddenly hit by a chair that was thrown right at him.
"FIRE BRO!" Dixie cried and went to go back to save him, but was suddenly stabbed in her left arm by one of the knives flying straight at her.
"AAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGHHHHH! THIS IS MY THROWING ARM TOO! I FUCKING HATE THIS PLACE!" Dixie exploded in rage and grabbed the knife out of her arm and threw it to the ground. The window in there then exploded from the outside, shattering tons of glass pieces all over the room and some got onto Dixie. The monkey covered her head and tried her best to get herself over to Fire Bro. Once she did, the poor maniac was knocked out cold and Dixie had to get him and herself out of there. She grabbed him by the feet and started dragging him out towards the door that led to the backyard. Another frying pan hit Dixie in the head which made her almost fall over, but it wasn't enough to knock her out. Glass cups started smashing the walls and everything in there was literally being either destroyed or tossed around. She opened the door and got herself out of there successfully and slammed the door shut. She dropped to the ground and held her head, groaning in pain.
"Ugh...god, this is a complete nightmare! Not even a kid could believe in this, and they believe ANYTHING! Well...so I'm told..." Dixie said. Though, she thought that she and Fire Bro were incredibly lucky that they got out of there without dying. At this point, the mission was becoming WAY too dangerous and Dixie really thought that this could cost her and friends' lives if they don't get out of there soon. She looked over at Fire Bro and saw that he was still unconcious, but she knew he wasn't dead. Dixie laid down on the grass and stared up at the starry sky, taking a breather from all the insanity. She wished she was back home in her cabana with Diddy, having fun and talking with him, not having to deal so much stress and fear, not having to deal with a possible end of the world scenario. She wished everything could go back to the way it was. But Dixie sighed, knowing that it wasn't going to happen anytime soon.
YOSHI AND BIRDO:
"Hey Madame Clairice, do you mean if I give your crystal ball a lick?" Yoshi asked.
"EXCUSE ME!? HELL TO THE NO! I ain't gonna let your nasty saliva get anywhere near my precious ball! This thing has managed to stay clean for decades now and I intend to keep it that way until the day the world ends or whenever I get sucked up into another vacuum. And by the way, it's Madame CLAIRVOYA!" The fortune teller yelled in disgust.
"Okay Madame Clairvoya...since you already showed that we DO manage to collect all the gems somehow and we make it to the island that Tatanga is on, do you mind telling us where the gem in this place is? It would make the search for it MUCH easier since I really doubt any of our other friends are having much fun looking for it," Birdo asked.
"Yeah, for all we know, they're probably getting torn to shreds or being possessed and killing each other, Battle Royale style!" Yoshi exclaimed. Birdo punched him in the arm again. "OW! Come on man! What did this arm ever do to you!?"
"Hmm...yes. Okay. I suppose I have enough energy to make one more prediction. Now let's see here..." Madame Clairvoya said and peered into her crystal ball. She suddenly shrieked and then covered her mouth.
"What!? What did you see!? IT'S BAD, ISN'T IT? MY POOR OLD HEART CAN'T TAKE ANY MORE OF THIS CRAZY SUSPENSE!" Yoshi screamed.
"Yoshi, I swear to god, if you don't stop being annoying I will punch you in the face this time!" Birdo threatened.
"I see it now...you two...you're both going to die..." Madame Clairvoya said. Birdo and Yoshi gasped and looked at each other.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Birdo, it looks like this is the end for us...I just want to let you know that I was the one who accidentally flushed your make up kit down the toilet!" Yoshi cried and hugged her.
"WHAT!? YOU MEAN AFTER ALL THIS TIME OF LOOKING FOR MY KIT AND YOU WERE THE ONE WHO LOST IT!? AND HOW THE HELL DID YOU EVEN MANAGE TO FLUSH IT DOWN THE TOILET ANYWAYS!? WHAT WERE YOU EVEN DOING WITH IT!?" Birdo screamed in confusion.
"Yes, you both will die if you don't get rid of that stupid rat that keeps crawling around us! Seriously, don't let that thing get to you! If it bites you, it'll probably inject poison in your body and you will die hours later in a pool of foam that will come from your mouth, suffering a wacky seizure. Don't ask me how that works, because I'm just taking one of the biggest guesses ever," Madame Clairvoya said in panic. Yoshi and Birdo looked at her as if she was an idiot.
"Dude, rats are not evil, okay!? God, you're like Toadette who thinks bunnies are the evil masterminds of this world! You can't get any more ridiculous than that!" Birdo yelled.
"Okay okay, I apologize. That was my bad. Now, back to the crystal ball magic fun...hmm...yes...wait a second...HOLY CRAP!" Madame Clairvoya suddenly shrieked.
"What is it now!? You're literally about to make my heart pound out of my chest!" Yoshi yelled.
"Yoshi...there's a spider crawling up your leg! That is beyond disgusting! Kill it before it does something...umm...spidery!" Madame Clairvoya warned and pointed at his kneecap. Yoshi looked down and immediately got up and screamed when he saw the spider.
"GET IT OFF ME, GET IT THE HELL OFF ME!" Yoshi screamed like a girl and managed to stomp the spider once it fell to the ground.
"Seriously now? Will you stop leading us on and making us think something bad is going to happen to us? Not only is it stupid and annoying, but we're wasting precious time here! You know, it felt like I've said that before already..." Birdo said.
"Yeah, you already said it last chapter," Yoshi confirmed.
"Huh?" Birdo looked at him with a raised brow.
"I am so terribly sorry for getting you off track! Okay, I shall be serious now and I'll tell you what I see in my sexy ball of crystal...hmm...oh my! What in the world is this!? Oh my goodness, this is completely insane!" Madame Clairvoya shrieked again.
"What is it? What's happening? Hey, I don't sound as panicked as I did before! That's some good development right there!" Yoshi chuckled.
"My nails! How on earth can they look so sharp and dirty? I can't believe I'm just now noticing this! Did I actually die with chipped nails? Did I not get a manicure right before I died? Ugh, I really hope the other ghosts haven't noticed this otherwise I'll never hear the end of it!" Madame Clairvoya cried.
Birdo frustratingly sighed and tired rubbed her face with both of her hands. "Please...just...stop! Please...just tell us where the gem is! We can't take it anymore! I'M BEGGING YOU!"
"Oh, the gem? Yeah, King Boo has it. He's located in the Secret Altar in the basement with a few other ghosts," Madame Clairvoya quickly responded.
"Wait...did you know that the entire time? Have you been screwing with us!?" Birdo angrily asked and stood up from her chair.
"Technically, yes I have. I saw King Boo and some other ghosts talk about using the gem as King Boo's crown and hiding out in the Secret Altar where no one could possibly find them a while ago, and I just remembered it a few seconds ago," The crazy fortune teller admitted. Birdo growled and clenched her fists.
"King Boo, huh? I'm not really that surprised that he has the gem, considering Luigi fought him last time he was here," Yoshi said.
"Well, this should be easy to do then. All we have to do is use Luigi's Poltergust 3000 to suck up the nasty bastard and get the gem! Wait a second...maybe I shouldn't have said that, because I REALLY doubt that's how it will exactly go. It rarely does," Birdo said in worry.
"Hmm? What's this? What the...I feel a very heavy presence entering the room right now...oh my god...who...who are you!?" Madame Clairvoya suddenly freaked out.
"Huh? I feel it too. What is it? Is it a demon? Or is it one of those vengeful ghosts that chooses to hurt everyone out of rage because it had a bad human life and wants to take it out on random people and not the people that caused the ghost's human life to be bad?" Yoshi asked.
"Stop! What are you doing!? NO! LET GO OF ME! HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!" Madame Clairvoya screamed and her entire body started shaking heavily. Yoshi and Birdo slowly backed away in fear. Madame Clairvoya suddenly disappeared in a flash and Yoshi and Birdo flew backwards and slammed into the wall.
"OW! Ugh...Birdo...what the hell just happened!?" Yoshi asked.
"I don't know, but...there is definitely something in this room with us," Birdo whispered in reply. Yoshi was then suddenly dragged by his feet all the way across the room and into the mirror room. The door slammed shut and Yoshi's cries could be heard from beyond the door. Birdo screamed, just now reacting, because of how fast it all just happened. Birdo ran to the door and banged and kicked on it as hard as she could, but she couldn't open it. Whatever was holding this door closed definitely had to be some powerful demonic force.
"YOSHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!" Birdo screamed in terror at the torture Yoshi must be going through in there. There was no way she could open the door all by herself, she had to get more power. She thought DK would be an excellent idea.
She ran back outside and opened the door to the basement. Before she was about to head down the stairs, she noticed someone coming UP the stairs. However, this person wasn't any of her friends, it was someone with the stature of a Koopa wearing a black cloak over their entire body.
"Um...hello? Who are you? You're not a ghost, are you?" Birdo asked, but the 'Koopa' didn't respond. She then saw numerous other black cloaked 'Koopas' coming up the stairs and heading straight for her. She realized this had to be a bad and dangerous situation, so she backed away and turned around...only to bump into dozens more black cloaked 'Koopas' that came from nowhere, coming right after her.
"No, STOP! HELP ME! GET AWAY FROM ME!" Birdo screamed. She was starting to be overcrowded by the mysterious 'Koopas' and more just kept on coming. They started to grab her and scratch at her skin. Birdo then saw something she could to defend herself; a vase. Sure, it wasn't something powerful or useful, but it was the only thing she had at that moment that could be used to defend herself. She tried to run over to the vase as best as she could, grabbed it, smashed it against the wall and grabbed the largest piece that came off. She then started to stab the 'Koopas' with the sharp end of the piece and pushed them away from her. She screamed and kept on swiping around like crazy.
EOC.
Literally everyone is going through some type of hell right now! Will our heroes overcome the supernatural chaos? Find out next chapter!
AUTHOR'S NOTE: So, Community College has officially started for me and since I'm aiming to be a better student than I was in high school, my attention is going to be on that a lot more now, especially since I know that they will bombard me with a lot more homework. So unfortunately, that means less time to work on my stories, which means that this story is taking a short hiatus so I can become use to the college situation. The next update for this story will be on September 21 and Devil's Mansion will be on October 3. Until then, stay cool!
