June 28th, 2005
Angel Grove, CA
Even though it went against my better judgement, I opted out of telling anyone about the weird guy at the theater. I asked Rosey not to mention it to anyone either, telling her it was probably just sort of a mix up. We laughed about it but the uneasy feeling stayed with me when Aisha returned. I didn't dare tell her anything about it, in fear she would worry too much and not trust me with Matteo again. When she came back, we went out for a nice lunch and then to the park so that the babies could get some sun. I felt better after that, not thinking about what had happened as much as I headed home. At home, I didn't say anything to Tommy and listened as he told me about the latest changes to the dojo. The contractor had finished the upstairs and the dojo itself. All that was left was some dry walling in the gym and the rest of the offices. He was getting excited talking about it, showing me the plans they had mapped out for the main part of the gym. I was happy for him but it was just another reminder that he would be moving out at the end of the month.
I did my best to push that thought and the gas guy from my mind. It worked for a week or so, nothing out of the ordinary happening. I spent time with Lily, making sure to enjoy every free moment I could with her. My time of only doing part time was coming to a close soon, leaving me no choice but to think about day care. Chances were that my Mom would be the one watching Lily. She hadn't decided yet but she was considering being retired now that she was back here in California. I knew she was happier to be here than France, coming over every chance she had to see us. I was happy to have her here too, giving me some time with her that I hadn't realized I was missing. As much as I was trying to be busy, I couldn't help but worry about leaving Lily all day even if it was with my mom. But in the pit of my stomach, that scared feeling ate away at me. The guy from the theater was in the back of my mind and I had nightmares about him showing up at my mother's to try to get in and to take Lily. It made that fear grow and my anxiety go through the roof.
The next morning, Lily had me awake by 4 am. She went back to sleep in my arms while I laid there, thinking about the man at the theater. It had been suspicious. I knew it. It all smelled like Nick's doing too. The guys had asked so many questions about Lily, Tommy, and me. There was no way that there wasn't a connection there somehow. Worried filled my chest. Had Nick somehow gotten out of prison and was planning on kidnapping Lily? I would die if anything were to happen to her, especially at the hands of the psycho I was married to. Wouldn't they notify me though if he had escaped or was released? That's what our order of protection said. I couldn't even imagine anyone letting him out of prison willingly after what he was charged with.
The worry got to me so bad that when I was able to, I set Lily down in her crib and went downstairs to use the phone. Tommy was still sleeping so I did my best to stay quiet while I waited for someone to pick up the phone at the prison. By the fourth ring, I was nervously pacing the kitchen. Finally, it clicked and a gruff voice answered.
"Grove County State Penitentiary. How can I direct your call?" The voice asked.
"Hi. I wanted to just see if there was still an inmate by the name of Nicholas Anderson in your facility." I said, stepping as far away from the hallway as I could.
"Anderson? Yeah. He's here. If you want to speak to him, you'll have to call during those times." The guy said, sounding obviously annoyed.
"No! I mean, I don't want to speak to him. I just wanted to make sure. Thank you." I clicked the wireless house phone off, sighing and closing my eyes. Well, he was still in prison. I didn't have to worry about him popping up and trying to hurt me. I had to let go what happened yesterday. It was just a weird guy who works for the gas company. I've seen the movie Cable Guy. It happens. He was probably just at the wrong address and had made a mistake. I sighed again, opening my eyes and walking over to hang up the phone. Nick was gone. He was still gone and no longer a threat to me. I needed to stop letting every little scary thing in my life make me think that it was Nick out to hurt me. There was no way he could get me from his shoe box jail cell he was in now. The only thing he was getting was probably fucked up by the other inmates with any luck.
"Kim?" Tommy's voice asked as he walked into the kitchen. I pretended to be getting the tea kettle, walking away from the phone. "You okay?" He asked, stopping. I saw that now a fussy Lily was in his arms that he was trying to soothe. "I heard her crying from my room. Didn't you hear her?"
"Oh, no. I had the water on. Must be why. Sorry. I didn't mean to have her wake you." I said, putting the kettle on the stove. Lily calmed, enjoying the rocking sensation of being helped by Tommy.
"It's fine. Any time I get to spend with this one, the better." He smiled at Lily who let out a little coo noise in response as he sat at the table with her. "Actually, Jason called and woke me up. They are having a little party this afternoon to celebrate Marci's birthday. We have to be there around 3 for cake and ice cream."
"Oh my god. It is her birthday! I can't believe it slipped my mind. Ugh, I feel horrible." I said, covering my face with my hands. "No wonder she didn't want to live with me anymore."
"Kim, it's okay. You have a baby and about a million other things going on right now. Besides, she's only turning 17. I'm sure she doesn't even care that it's her birthday. But we can stop and get her something at the art supply store before we head over there." Nodding, I sat down in the chair across from him. "She doesn't hate you."
"I didn't say she did." I muttered.
"No, but I know you're thinking about it. You know how teenaged girls can be. Just because she acts more mature than most girls her age doesn't mean that she doesn't have it in her to be a typical teenager. Besides, you throw a boyfriend into the mix and they think they know everything."
"I wasn't like that at her age." I said, putting my hands on the table. Tommy cocked an eyebrow at me and smirked. "What? I wasn't!"
"Kimberly, I can recall screaming matches between you and your mother while I would be hiding in the closet or on the phone. You two butted heads worse than I think Rita and Zedd. But it's because you thought you didn't need her butting into your life anymore. That's what teenagers do."
"They weren't screaming matches. They were elevated conversations, thank you very much." I said, rolling my eyes. "Besides, look where it got me. She's still butting into my life."
"Cause that's what all mothers do. Even non-biological ones."
After getting Lily ready, Tommy and I climbed into his truck and headed to town to grab something for Marci. I ran into the store, deciding on a package of canvases and new water color paints. The woman behind the counter gift wrapped it for me and I got back into the truck, finding Tommy playing peek-a-boo with Lily from the backseat. I tucked the present behind my seat before buckling up. Tommy pulled back into traffic and made his way to Trini and Jason's house where everyone's cars were lined up along the curb. A spot in the driveway was open and Tommy pulled into it.
"Good to see we're still always the last ones to arrive." Tommy said, smirking over at me. I chuckled, nodding.
"What else would they expect of us at this point?" I replied. Grabbing the presents, I climbed out and Tommy got Lily from the backseat. The front door opened and Marci came out, smiling widely at me.
"There's my favorite manager." She said, walking over and giving me a hug. It warmed me inside that she wanted to hug me and I squeezed her tightly.
"Happy birthday! How's it feel to be 17?" I asked as she pulled away.
"Pretty much the same as 16 but with power." She winked at me before turning to Tommy who came around the back of the truck. When her eyes landed on Lily, she let out a little cry of excitement and promptly took her car seat from Tommy's hand. "Hi, Lily. Did you miss Aunt Mimi? I'm sure you did."
"Guess I'm chopped liver." Tommy said as Marci headed towards the front door with Lily.
"Hi, Tommy!" She called out over her shoulder. I smirked at him as he rolled his eyes.
"There's a lot of love there. Can't you feel it?" I asked, walking after her. He followed as we headed into the house. There was loud chattering and some music playing, everyone filled into the living room. I heard screeching, telling me that Matteo was somewhere in the mix. I spotted him on the floor with Zack, giggling each time Zack hid behind his hands. Aisha and Trini were smiling at the pair, Rocky off in the corner with Jason, Adam, and Billy. Tommy closed the door behind him as Marci set Lily's car seat down on the floor next to Matteo who took an instant fixation on Lily.
"Whose that, Matty? Is that your girlfriend?" Marci asked, smiling at Matteo who crawled towards them. She reached in and unbuckled Lily who stared up at her with a little smile. I set the present on the coffee table which was pushed up against the entertainment center, other gift bags there. Trini walked over, giving me a hug.
"Hey. Glad you could make it." She said.
"How is she doing?" I asked, making it soft enough so Marci couldn't hear me. Trini pulled away, giving me a smile.
"She's good. She's doing good." I returned the smile, a pang of sadness in my chest. I wanted Marci home with us but I knew I couldn't ask her to do that yet. I missed her but wanted to respect her space and her wishes. I had asked so much of her that I couldn't expect her to just come back because I was having a hard time dealing with it. I needed her to want to come back because she felt comfortable doing that and she just wasn't there yet.
"Hey, man." Jason said, walking towards us. He shook Tommy's hand and gave him a hug. His eyes shifted towards me and I felt uneasy. It hadn't been an easy task but I've managed to avoid Jason since I found out he knew about Tommy being the biological father. Though, it wasn't like he had actively sought out to speak to me or anything but I had done my best to avoid being near him without someone else being there as well. I was fearful of him telling Tommy at some point but I knew Jason better than that. He would never be able to bring himself to be the person to tell Tommy something that huge. His method would rather be to harp at me until I did it. All with the idea of doing the right thing that Zordon drilled into our heads. Yipee.
"There's food in the kitchen and drinks in the fridge. Help yourselves." Trini gave my hand a squeeze before going back towards the living room. I saw that Marci was now sitting on the floor with Lily in her lap. Matty was between her and Zack, clapping his hands and smiling at Lily. It was cute how fascinated he was with Lily, his eyes wide as he looked at her. I think he liked seeing someone smaller than him for once. Tommy and Jason walked over to stand with the rest of the group, Jason giving me another glance before getting into conversation with Billy about something.
I felt like a sudden outcast, a lonely feeling coming over me. I was in a crowded room with all of the people that loved me but I felt like I didn't belong there. A tightness filled my chest and I swore softly. Panic attack. Forcing a smile on my face, I excused myself towards the kitchen. I was relieved to see that no one was in here. I continued walking, going right out the back door to the patio. Shutting the door behind me, I walked over to the steps and sat on the top step. Tucking my head between my knees, I focused on taking deep breaths.
'You've got no one to blame but yourself' I thought as I tried to call my heart that was beating wildly in my chest. It was true. I had pulled Marci into my lie and now Jason knew. It was only a matter of time before Trini found out and I knew how fast news travelled in our group like wildfire. I couldn't expect everyone to keep this secret for me. It wouldn't be fair and it wouldn't be right. The sand was running out on me and my chances to tell Tommy. I was going to have to do something before our entire group was affected by my lies. I couldn't be the reason there were issues between everyone. I couldn't live with that and my lies.
"You okay?" Adam's voice asked behind me. Turning, I saw him standing there with a bottle of water. I nodded, trying to calm my breathing. Walking over, he handed the water to me before sitting down. "I saw you head out here and figured it was an attack. Small room with lots of people will do that to you."
"Thanks." I said, giving him a small smile. "I didn't expect that to happen. It's been a while since I've had one."
"Well, that's a good thing though. After this past year, you'd think you'd be having them all the time. How are things?"
"I'm okay." I lied, sipping the water.
"Kimberly, c'mon. It's me." He said, nudging me with his knee. I sighed, closing my eyes.
"Have you ever done something that you know is wrong but you think it's the right thing to do at the time but it's becoming ever more apparent that you need to admit what you did, even though you did it to protect someone? And by telling everyone what you did, you risk losing everything you have?"
"I can't say that I have. I will say, though, that there is nothing you could do that would make all of us turn our backs on you if that's what you're afraid of. I know things with Marci have been rough since Lily came but I'm sure it'll work itself out."
"It's not about Marci. Marci is just a side effect." I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose. "There's something I have to do but I don't want to do it and I don't even know when the right time to do it will be."
"Well, whatever it is, I know you'll figure it out. Granted we might not be Trini or Billy brilliant but I think you're smart enough to know what to do when the time calls for it." I nodded. "Now, we should head back inside so you can make Marci share your baby." I laughed, standing as he did.
Back inside, everyone ate some of the snacks that Trini had put out and I had to force Marci to let everyone else have a turn with Lily. We took the opportunity for her to open presents, something she didn't mind doing as long as I promised to give Lily back afterwards. I sat on the couch while Marci perched herself at the end of the coffee table to open her gifts. Tommy sat next to me, giving me a wink as he settled into the cushion. Marci opened up a number of art supplies and beauty products, Adam and Billy giving her a gift certificate to get her hair professionally dyed before the wedding. They said she could do it any color she wished, something I knew she would run with. She had also gotten some clothes from Aisha, stuff she had picked out special for the boutique in town. I felt like our gift was lame in comparison, not helping the feeling of guilt that was deeply seated in my chest now.
"Hey. Are you okay?" Tommy asked, putting a hand on my leg. I looked over at him, nodding.
"Just tired. That's all." I replied, forcing a smile.
"Hey, guys!" Rocky said, walking over to us. "We were all just talking and we're going to go out tonight as a Bachelor party for our favorite groom pair. You in?" He asked.
"I don't know. I have the baby." I said, hoping to talk my way out of it with Lily being my excuse.
"I can watch her!" Marci said, standing up. "I can handle both her and Matteo."
"Marci, Lily is still kinda little and can be a handful." I said, giving her a smile.
"Yeah but so are you." She replied, cocking an eyebrow. "I'll be fine! Besides, you guys will be right here in town. If I need any help, I can just call you. Go out for once and enjoy yourselves." I gave a look at Tommy who gave me a small smile.
"You know, it might be a good thing for you to go out with all of us for the night. Marci can handle Lily for a while. We have the extra pack and play in the truck. I think this is a good idea." He said.
"I'm going too, girl!" Aisha called out from the other side of the living room. "Us moms have to have some fun once and awhile too."
"Alright." I said, smirking over at Marci. Her face lit up with excitement. "But if you need anything or it gets to be too much, you call right away. Okay?"
"I swear." She said, holding up three fingers. "Scouts honor."
"You were never a Girl Scout." I said, raising an eyebrow at her.
"For a week I was because my mom wanted to rip off some free cookies." She shrugged her shoulders, swooping in on Billy who was holding Lily. She picked her up and kissed her cheek. "Aunt Mimi's daycare is open for business!"
We all agreed to go home and get ready before meeting up at the Sidestreet Tavern. It was a small pub near the heart of Angel Grove that's been there for ages. I could remember my Mom and Dad coming here for date nights when I was just a kid. At home, I changed into a pink blouse and a pair of dark blue jeans, shoving my feet into heels for the first time in ages. Tommy wore a white button up that he didn't button with a white t-shirt underneath it. He also wore jeans and pulled his hair back, keeping it out of his face. It was weird being at home and getting ready without Lily there. I kept expecting to hear her cry or to hear Elmo from the living room but there was none. I called Marci to check on how Lily was doing. She said everything was great and that she was getting ready to feed her a bottle. I knew Marci could handle her but I was still a little worried about being away from her like this. It was one thing when Tommy had her. He was her father. This was different but I pushed it aside so that I could try to enjoy my time out on the town.
Tommy and I headed to the bar in his truck, the sun still shining up in the sky as he parked along the curb around the corner. I climbed out of the truck and tucked my purse over my shoulder. He pocketed his keys and met me on the sidewalk. I spotted Trini and Jason walking up the sidewalk towards us, causing us to stop. Zack was behind them, adjusting the black shirt he was wearing. He looked ready for a night out in places like Vegas or NYC, not Angel Grove. "You know where you are, right?" Tommy joked, smiling at Zack who laughed.
"The Zack-man always has to look sharp! Never know when the right lady will be walking by." He said, flexing his collar. I snorted, stifling a giggle as Trini rolled her eyes in my direction.
"He's something else, isn't he?" She whispered to me as she looped her arm through mine. "Let's go, boys. The others are already inside waiting for us." She dragged me forward, heading towards the front of the building. It was a redstone, four storey building with large windows in the front that had tint on them. The only thing you could see were the neon lights and the white lettering with the bar's name on the window. Jason held open the heavy wooden door for us, shooting me a glance as Trini and I stepped through. Inside, it was darker but lit with soft lighting. There was a long bar that went from one side of the room to the other. Bottles of alcohol were set up in front of a mirror behind it, uplighting making it look more fancy that it actually was. People were sitting in chairs in front of the bar as well as the tables and chairs that were set up in the bar room area. I spotted Aisha, Adam, Billy, and Rocky sitting at a large table with a number of chairs grouped around it. There were three pitchers on the table in front of them, glasses joining them. I saw two were beer while the other was some kind of mixed drink. We walked over to them, Aisha waving when she saw us.
"Hey! We got some beer and some mojitos to get the party started." She said as we sat down. The table was a large square with three chairs on each side of it. Rocky, Billy and Adam sat on one side, Aisha sitting on the corner by Rocky. Trini set her purse in the chair between her and Aisha, sitting in the other corner chair. I took the corner stool next to her while Jason went over to sit next to Zack who was by Adam. Tommy sat in the chair next to Jason on the same side of the table as me.
"This is going to be fun! I can't even think of the last time we all went out for some fun." Trini said, shedding her jacket to the back of the stool.
"Oh, did the dojo blowing up not count as fun?" Adam asked, grinning in Tommy's direction who let out a chuckle.
"I mean, I had a blast." Tommy said, shrugging. Jason rolled his eyes at the joke.
"That was bad, dude." He scoffed. A waitress walked over, menus in hand.
"Hi, everyone! My name is Tina and I'll be taking care of you. Does anyone want anything to drink besides what's on the table?" She asked, handing out the menus.
"Can we get a shot of tequila for the whole table?" Rocky asked. She smiled, writing it down on her pad. We let out a groan. "What?"
"We're too old to do shots, Rocky." Aisha said, glaring at her husband.
"What? No, we aren't! We are in the prime of our lives. C'mon, guys! It's a bachelor party! This is what you do at a bachelor party." He defended.
"He has a point." Adam said. "Though, it pains me to admit it."
"Exactly. Make that two, please!" Rocky called as the waitress walked towards the bar. I glanced over the menu, trying to decide what food to get. Everything sounded wonderful and I tried to recall the last time I was actually at a bar. It had been a while, maybe even in Florida before I moved back here.
"Drink?" Trini asked, nudging me. Glancing up, I saw she was pouring some mojito in a glass. I nodded, grabbing one for myself. She poured some in the glass for me, Aisha already having some. The guys poured out the beer as the waitress returned with our shots of tequila. She set them down in front of everyone, two shot glasses each. We gave her our food orders of different appetizers to share with each other before she walked off again. Rocky picked up one of the glasses and held it up.
"Since this is supposed to be Adam and Billy's last night of freedom before Saturday, I think it's only fitting that we share some embarrassing stories about them. I'll go first! So when Adam and I were about thirteen, we decided that we needed to sneak into a scary movie for Halloween. Sounds cool, right? Well, we got in there and hid. We pulled it off so well that we were feeling pretty full of ourselves. That was until the movie started and it ended up being the scariest movie we had ever seen. We sat there, trying to not look like cowards. There was this one part where something popped out at the screen. Adam jumped and ended up dumping an entire soda on the couple in front of us. I thought this dude was going to murder us. So my bright idea was to toss the popcorn at him and run. We managed to escape and I'm pretty sure that's the last time we went to the movies together."
"It's also why you should always have an adult accompany you when you're in public." Aisha said, shaking her head.
"I have a story!" Zack said, holding up his glass. "When we were in the seventh grade, Billy offered to help tutor Jason and I in math. We thought it would be great since he's such a genius. We didn't realize that Billy was lightyears ahead of us in math so he was trying to teach us statistics meanwhile we weren't sure what a fraction even was. So, we were at my house and Billy was going on about numbers or some shit. Jason and I fell asleep and Billy never even noticed until Jason started snoring. It was great."
Everyone went around and told a funny little story about Billy or Adam. Our food came and we continued to share. Tommy and I were the only ones left who hadn't shared at this point. All eyes turned to Tommy as he picked up his drink.
"Well, I don't think I can pinpoint just one story for either of you to tell. I guess I should work on that for the reception. I will say though, that both of you are like brothers to me. I don't know what I would have done without either of you fighting with me during our time on the team, especially after things changed for us all. I am so glad you two have found each other and that you are happy together. Here's to you, Adam and Billy." Tommy said.
"Here, here!" Rocky said, lifting his shot glass. We all took our first shot, the alcohol burning as I swallowed it. Trini sputtered a bit with it, setting the glass back down on the table.
"You okay?" I laughed. She nodded, wiping her eyes.
"Yeah. You're turn!" She said. I picked up the other shot glass.
"Well, like Tommy said, I don't have just one story. Though, there was that one time that Billy and I were made into little punks. But that's a story for a different place. I just wanted to say that I am so glad to call you two my friends. I am happy to have both of you in my life and to be able to witness the happiness you two share together. Love is love and there is no better example of that then what you two have together. I hope that Saturday goes off without an issue and that you have a long life together with love, joy, and happiness to last."
"Sounds good to me!" Rocky said. We all shot back the other shot, the burn happening again. Billy smiled over at Adam before he cleared his throat.
"We want to thank you all from the bottom of our hearts for being able to spend this time with us. We never dreamed of this day to come and now that we are almost there, there are no better people for us to have with us than you all. Thank you for your kind words and we hope that we will forever be in all of your lives." Billy said. Adam nodded.
"You guys are our family." He said. I felt tears burn my eyes and I noticed that Trini and Aisha also had misty eyes.
"I think we need more alcohol over here." Rocky said, sliding out of his stool. He grabbed the now empty pitchers and headed towards the bar.
"You guys wanna play pool?" Zack asked, pointing at the empty pool tables. Tommy, Adam, and Billy nodded, all of them climbing down. Aisha grabbed her purse.
"I'm going to run outside and call Marci to check in. I'll be right back."
"Care to dance?" Jason asked Trini as a song came on over the jukebox. She smiled, nodding.
"Sure thing." He helped her down, taking her by the hand and leading her over to the empty space by the pool tables. I finished my drink, smiling at the sight of all my friends enjoying themselves. I turned, sliding out the stool and headed towards the bathroom. The alcohol was running right through me, causing me to need to pee. I used the restroom, washing my hands after. Looking in the mirror, I saw there was some color to my cheeks which was a common effect after I had alcohol. I fixed my hair and headed back out into the bar room. I was surprised to find Jason outside of the bathroom. I let out a little gasp when I ran into him.
"Oh. Sorry." I said, moving to walk around him. He shifted to stand in front of me.
"I think we should chat." He said.
"Where's Trini?" I asked, acting like I hadn't heard him.
"Playing pool with the guys. Kimberly, what on Earth are you thinking?" He asked in a hushed voice.
"I'm not doing this right now with you." I said, shaking my head. "This is a night about Adam and Billy."
"Bullshit, Kim. You know Tommy is the father of your daughter and you are letting him think he's not? What the hell is that?" He asked. I glared at him.
"It's my business, that's what. I don't know how you know but you need to pretend like you don't. I have it all under control. I'm going to tell Tommy when the timing is right, okay?"
"Oh? When is that? When's she's thirty?" He asked. "He's missing this time with her now!"
"He's not missing anything! He's clearly with her as much as possible right not anyway. He already considers himself her father. A technicality isn't going to change a thing. I'm going to tell him the truth. I swear. I just need to figure out the best time and way to do it."
"Well, you better start thinking quickly because if you don't tell him, I'm going to do it. The guy deserves to know. He has just as much rights to her as you." I narrowed my eyes, looking up at him.
"You don't think I know that? Why do you think I haven't told him? I just got rid of one guy who was trying to take her away from me. Do you think I really want to risk Tommy taking her now too?"
"What do you mean by that?" He asked. "Tommy would never take her away from you."
"You don't know that, Jason. It's easy to think that you know someone but they turn around and end up being something completely different."
"He's not Nick." He said. I looked up at him, shocked by his statement. "Tommy isn't going to turn out to be some jerk who wants to ruin your life. If anything, he wants what's best for you and Lily. You can't pay him back by treating him like this because of Nick. I get it, Kim. I do. But you gotta open your eyes here. He loves you and you know it just as much as the rest of us. Give him a chance."
"Jason, I know you're concerned but I can handle this." I said.
"No. There's no more handling it. You either tell him soon or I will. I mean it."
