June 28th, 2005
Angel Grove, CA
After exchanging words with Jason, him and I sought different areas of the bar. He hung out with the guys over by the pool tables while I sat at the table drinking with Aisha, Adam, and Trini. I shoved the worry out of my brain, knowing that I was going to have to do what I didn't want to do a lot sooner than I had ever planned on doing. I sat at the table, drinking my mojito as I thought about this. I didn't have a clue how I was going to go about this but I knew I had to figure it out somehow. I also knew I didn't want to risk ruining Adam and Billy's wedding. It was going to have to be after Saturday sometime. I didn't want there to be any kind of awkwardness or tension because of it on their big day and I knew that is exactly what would happen. I could deal with the anger from Jason and Marci until then.
"Hey. You gonna come back down to Earth today?" Tommy's voice asked, bringing me out of my thoughts.
"Huh?" I asked, confused.
"You were spaced out. Everything okay?" He asked, sitting in the stool next to me. I nodded, noticing that everyone was now over by the pool tables either playing or dancing.
"Just lost in thought." I replied.
"Wanna come dance with me? I'm not the greatest but I think I can manage to not embarrass you." He said, smirking at me.
"I guess it's a risk I'll have to take." I said, smiling back at him. He held out his hand and I took it, letting him lead me over to the area where everyone was dancing to a fast beat song. He held my hands as we swayed to the beat, me moving my hips to the tempo. Aisha was killing it, dancing with Rocky in the middle of our group. The sun had gone down now and the bar room had lights of different colors above us, giving an almost nightclub feel to the little area. Trini and Jason were dancing as well, him smiling at her while they moved together. Tommy turned me so that my back was to him and we danced together, our bodies bumping together as we did.
"I told you I'm bad at this." He said in my ear, making goose bumps form down my left side of my body. I reached up behind me and wrapped my fingers around his neck. I craned my neck to speak to him.
"I think you're doing great!" I called over the music. We finished the dance together, the fast beat coming to an end while a slow song came on after. I turned, catching my breath as Tommy wrapped his arms around my waist. I rested mine on his shoulders as he rocked us back and forth on our feet.
"This is more my speed." He said, smiling down at me. "Though, I did enjoy the view from back there."
"If I didn't know any better, I would say you were trying to flirt with me, Tommy Oliver." I said, eyeing him. He grinned, shrugging his shoulders.
"I mean there's a chance that it's possible I suppose." He shot me a wink, dipping me back. I let out a laugh, looking up at him as he dangled me back.
"Such a charmer as always." I said. He stood back up, righting me into a standing position.
"Just wait until the wedding. I'll spin you around all night long if you want. I've been practicing." He did a little spin, tucking me back into his arms. "Karate isn't just for kicking ass."
"I'm impressed." I said, looking up at him. "I recall the last time we danced and all we did was just the slow songs and barely any moving at all."
"Well, I tried to make sure to learn some new things along the way." Reaching up, he tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. "Never knew when I would need to have to impress you again."
"I'm glad you had the chance."
"Me too." He replied.
We danced the rest of the song, heading back to the table after it was over. Tommy poured me another drink while he ordered himself a beer. My head felt like it was starting to swim a bit, telling me that I had had a good amount of alcohol in my system. I frowned, worried about how I was going to take care of Lily tonight. I wasn't going to be able to do that if I was drunk. That's one sure fire way to show you are a bad mother, something I was trying to avoid right now.
"I called Marci." Tommy said, putting a hand on my arm. "She said that Lily is sleeping and that she's fine keeping her overnight if you're okay with that. It might be easier than waking her up and bringing her home."
"Do you think that would be okay?" I asked, biting my lip. He nodded.
"Yeah. I mean, Trini and Jason will be heading home after we're done. And if she needs me to, I can run over and pick her up. I think you deserve to have a night off."
"Okay." I said, not fighting it. I didn't want to make things more complicated for anyone, especially Lily. If she was already asleep, it would be best to leave her where she was. And Tommy could always get her whenever Marci needed him to.
"Wow." He said, smiling at me. "I thought for sure I was going to have to fight you on that. I'm surprised."
"I know Marci can handle it." I said, shrugging. "Besides, now I know her and Josh won't want to have a baby any time soon if Lily keeps her up all night." He snorted, laughing out loud.
"Birth control at it's finest."
"It's all part of my secret plan. I'm actually an evil genius. It's like a superpower I have to keep hidden." I winked at him, finishing my drink.
"I can see that happening." He said, sipping his beer. We stayed for a few more hours, hanging out with everyone and drinking. Tommy said that he had drunk more than he felt comfortable driving with so he opted to call us a cab and checked with the owner to make sure his truck wouldn't be towed. Our group went outside, standing on the sidewalk while we waited for our cab to come.
"Tonight was great." Adam said, giving me a hug. I knew he had drank a lot, him teetering a bit as he stood there. "I love you." He said, smiling at me as he pulled away.
"I love you too. Go home and go to bed." I said.
"Are you kidding? When I have this handsome fella at home! I plan on celebrating a bit more if you catch my drift." He said, wrapping an arm around Billy whose cheeks blushed brightly at Adam's comment. I laughed, reaching over and giving Billy a hug as well.
"You two are too cute." I said, kissing his cheek.
"Thanks. C'mon, Romeo. Let's get you in the car." Billy said. He was sober enough to drive, volunteering to bring Zack with him. The three walked up the street towards their SUV, Adam doing his best to flirt with Billy the entire way. Trini grinned at me as we watched them. When they were safely inside, she pulled me in for a hug.
"Tonight was fun. I'm glad you came out." She said, rubbing my back.
"Me, too. It was great. I can't wait to see what the wedding will be like." I said, pulling away.
"Should be fun! I was actually going to talk to you. Adam, Aisha, Marci and I are going to spend the night up at the house tomorrow to make sure everything is ready and the grooms don't see each other before the big day. Want to come? We can get ready there and have the babies there." I looked over at Tommy who smiled.
"I'll be at Billy's helping him get everything ready." He replied, nodding towards Jason. "He's gonna be there too."
"It'll be so much fun!" Trini smiled, giving me a hopeful look. I nodded.
"Sure. I'd love to." I replied.
"Great! I'll swing by and grab you before heading up there. I rented one of those huge vans to fit everyone. Can't wait to see how it handles the mountain roads." She laughed, hugging me again. She hugged Tommy, leaving Jason standing next to me.
"Think about it, okay?" He said in a hushed tone. I nodded.
"I will. I promise." I said, softly. Standing on my tippy toes, I gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek. He sighed, pulling me in tightly.
"I just want you guys to be okay." He said in my ear. I nodded, feeling tears in my eyes. I sniffed, forcing them away.
"We will be, I think." I stood back, giving him a smile. "Are you two going to be okay driving home?" I asked. He nodded.
"Oh, yeah. I stopped drinking a while ago to make sure. You guys let us know when you get in, alright?"
"We will." Tommy said, putting his hand on the small of my back.
"I'll check in on Lily when we get in." Trini said, smiling over at me. "Last I heard, she was sleeping in Marci's room. She sounded exhausted from Mom duty."
"Just wait until she wakes up for her 4 am feeding." I said, laughing. Jason groaned.
"I didn't sign up for this." Trini smacked him in the chest.
"Hush. No one asked you for your opinion." Up the street, I saw a yellow car approaching with a taxi light on top of it.
"That's us. See you two tomorrow." Tommy said, waving the car down. The two waved before heading towards the parking lot. Aisha and Rocky had left before everyone, wanting to get Matteo before Marci headed to bed. I thought about getting Lily but I knew that neither Tommy nor I were sober enough to take care of her. I trusted she was safe and that Marci was more than capable. Tommy opened the back door of the cab for me and I climbed in, tucking my purse next to me. He jogged over to the other side, climbing in the back to sit with me. He gave the driver our address and the guy pulled into traffic.
"Tonight was fun." I said, smiling over at him.
"It was. You know, we still have some wine at the house I think from when your Mom came home. Want to have a drink before calling it a night?" He asked. I nodded.
"Sure. Who knows when we will get a kid free night like this again? I'll take full advantage of it while we can." He laughed, nodding. He turned, looking out the window. As he did, He reached out and put his hand on my knee. I didn't move but I looked down at it. It made something in me stir and I bit my lip, looking out my own window. I saw the house on the left side of the road and the taxi pulled into the driveway. Tommy handed him a twenty, thanking him for the ride. I climbed out of the car and fished out my house keys. The man waved as he pulled away, disappearing up the road. I walked up the steps, unlocking the door as Tommy walked behind me.
"I'll grab the wine and some glasses if you want to check in with Trini." He said as we walked into the house. I nodded, kicking my heels off. My feet sighed in relief, my toes aching. He headed into the kitchen as I grabbed the house phone from by the TV. I dialed Trini's number and she answered two rings later.
"Hey! Glad you made it home okay." She said in a hushed voice.
"Yeah. You too." I said. "How are the kids?"
"Fine. Both of them are sleeping. Jason's a little bummed cause he wanted to play with the baby but I told him it could wait until morning." I smiled, thankful to have such wonderful friends in my life.
"Aww. Take a picture of them if you can."
"I will. You enjoy your night of peace and quiet."
"You bet I will." I said. "Night, Trini."
"Night." I hung up as Tommy came back in the room with the wine.
"So, we have no wine glasses so I figured we could just share the bottle back and forth if that's alright with you." He said, taking the cork out.
"I've had worse things of yours in my mouth." I said, unable to stop myself before I said it. I glanced at him and he let out a laugh before taking a sip straight from the bottle.
"I suppose that's true." He replied, holding the bottle out to me. I giggled, taking it from him. I sipped as he kicked his shoes off and pulled the button up off his broad shoulders. I walked over and sat on the couch, propping my feet up on the coffee table in front of me.
"I don't know what I want to do first. It's been so long since I've been kid free and not pregnant, I don't even remember what I liked to do to relax. Maybe I'll take a bath. Then, I'll stay up late and watch a movie or two. And I'm going to sleep in until at least nine. Possibly ten if I can manage to avoid Trini and Marci until then. I'll wake up and have a quiet breakfast on the porch and read the paper. It all sounds so heavenly."
"It does." Tommy said, sitting next to me. "Only, you're going to end up falling asleep and waking up early because you'll worry too much to enjoy all of that." He took the bottle of wine from me and took a long sip.
"Buzz kill." I said, playfully glaring at him. "Fine. I will at least enjoy the full night of sleep I haven't gotten since Lily was born. It's the best part of the whole thing." I stretched out my arms and legs. "Is that the only bottle of wine there is?" I asked. He shook his head.
"There's another one." He said, smirking at me. "It's chilling in the fridge now."
"You're very clever, Mr. Oliver." I said, taking the bottle from him. I took a long pull from it, enjoying the flavor of the white wine. It tasted sweet, like apricots and peaches. My mind drifted and I wondered if it tasted the same on his lips as it did from the bottle. I squirmed at the thought, my temperature rising.
"I am to please, Miss Hart." He replied.
"I am so glad to be back to that name." I said, giving him back the bottle. "You don't realize how much you miss it until you don't hear it for so long. It was like a part of me that I wanted back. Probably because of who Nick was and how he was as a person. But, I'm glad to be me again."
"You've always been you." Tommy said, offering the bottle back to me. "I think you just forgot who that person was for a little bit. I'm glad you found her though. Hart does suit you better. It rolls off the tongue easier too." I wanted to roll off his tongue and then some, I thought. Jesus. I was just on the other side of tipsy. I knew it from the way my nose was tingling and I couldn't stop the smile on my face. I drained the rest of the wine in the bottle and pulled myself to my feet.
"I'll get the other one!" I called out, heading for the kitchen. I found my way to the fridge and the unopened bottle of wine on the top shelf. I grabbed it, opening it with the corkscrew before skipping back into the living room. I moved to sit on the couch but plopped too close to Tommy. I ended up half on his lap, my body slouching over his lap. He laughed, catching me and the bottle before we rolled onto the floor. I positioned myself so that my back was laying on his lap and my head was supported by the arm of the couch. He didn't seem to mind as I took a swig from the wine bottle.
"Remember that time in high school where Rocky got so wasted that we had to drag him home in that little red wagon from Zack's little sister?" I asked, glancing up at Tommy. He nodded, smiling. His eyes seemed to droop a bit, telling me he was either tired or feeling the effects of the alcohol.
"I do. He fell out when we hit that big bump of James Street. Course, he didn't even flinch when he smacked the pavement."
"Good times." I handed him the bottle of wine and he drank from it.
"They were. Just like that night at Jason's in the tent." He said. "When everyone went to bed." I gasped, sitting up to look at him.
"Are you talking about that night we…" I trailed off. He nodded, grinning at me.
"I am."
"Thought we agreed to never mention that night again." I said, eyeing him.
"Every guy likes to reminisce about the first time a girl touches their dick." He said, shrugging. I laughed, shaking my head. He was referring to the night we all had a sleepover in the backyard of Jason's house. We had convinced his parents to let us camp out in tents. Since there were more boys than girls, we had to set up at least four two people tents. Somehow, it ended up that Tommy had a tent to himself. After everyone was asleep, I went over to his tent and we fooled around a bit. We had been dating for about six months at that point and we were only 15. Seemed like the right thing to do at the time.
"As I recall, I wasn't very good at it." I said, giggling. "I mean, I had no clue what I was doing down there. It's confusing! They call it a blow job but there is no blowing to be had." Tommy snorted, choking on the wine he was sipping. This made me laugh loudly as he sputtered out some of the liquid.
"Look, we didn't name it. It just happened that way." He offered, wiping his chin with his palm. "And, you were good at it. I recall that much."
"Oh, was I?" I asked.
"I never had any complaints." He said, shrugging his shoulders. "I felt that our sex life was very well maintained."
"It's not a house plant, Tommy." I said. "You don't maintain it."
"You know what I mean!" He exclaimed. "Didn't you think it was good?"
"Of course I did." I replied, reaching over him and taking the wine back. "I was 16 and had nothing to compare it to." He scoffed.
"Gee, thanks. Way to boost up my self-confidence." He said. I shook my head, rolling my eyes at him.
"That's not what I mean. I meant that I didn't have anything to tell me otherwise. Trust me. You are a lot better in the sack than Nick ever was. He was just too...I don't know. Rough, I guess. Don't get me wrong. I like some kinky stuff too but he was just too much and he begged me for it all the time. It always got on my nerves but I knew if I told him no, it would just create issues." I took a long sip, thinking about the last time I had been with Nick that hadn't been considered rape. I did but then my mind wandered to that day at the theater with Tommy. It had been love making. I knew that. Everything in what occurred that day told me exactly how much I meant to him. I smiled, looking down at the wine bottle.
"What are you thinking about?" He asked.
"That day at work." I said, glancing at him sheepishly. "You know."
"Yeah, I know." He sighed. "I didn't expect that to happen, that day. You know that right?"
"Well, I didn't think you had warmed up in the car or anything." I teased, wrinkling my nose at him. He laughed, shaking his head.
"Nope. That wasn't an issue. But I didn't think that would happen and I hope you don't think I went there just for that."
"I don't, Tommy. I know you're not like that." I said. Tommy took the bottle and drank from it. It was almost empty and I saw it was well after midnight now.
"I'm glad." He rested his hand on my hip and took another long sip. I sighed.
"That was one baby and twenty pounds ago. I wish I still looked the same as I did then."
"Are you kidding? You look fantastic." He said. I took the bottle, drinking from it.
"You're just being nice. I know that I'm bigger now."
"You're healthier now." He said. "Before, you looked too thin. Now, you look young and healthy and full of life. You're still the most beautiful woman my eyes have ever laid on. And the sexiest but that should go without saying."
"You're drunk." I said, sticking my tongue out at him.
"Yes but not blind." He said, shrugging his shoulders. He took the bottle from me and took another sip before offering the last one to me. I took it, draining the bottle. "It's late. We should probably get some sleep before tomorrow." I nodded.
"We should. Are you going to be okay driving two hours tomorrow?" I asked.
"Jason will be with me. Zack's gonna ride up with Billy so that they will have their own car to leave in. I figured it was a smart plan to make sure we have a getaway car. That way we can leave whenever you want."
"Smart thinking." I stood up, putting the empty bottles on the coffee table. Tommy stood too, running a hand over his hair.
"Guess I will see you in the morning." He said, smiling down at me. I nodded.
"I'll wake you up when I get up if you want."
"Sure." He held his arm open for a hug. I walked over and wrapped my arms around his torso, resting my head on his chest. He wrapped his arms around me in a warm hug that caused me to close my eyes. I could fall asleep right here. I wouldn't mind it. He kissed the top of my head which caused me to open my eyes and look up at him.
"Good night."
"Good night."
Standing up taller, I placed a kiss on his cheek. I placed another and another, my lips lingering on the skin by his lips. He turned his head and his lips met mine. I pressed my lips against his, my arms wrapped around his neck. He hoisted me up off the floor as his mouth hungerly began to meet mine in a passionate kiss. I climbed up him like a spider monkey, wrapping my legs around his waist. Walking over to the couch, he laid me down and I felt the weight of his body on top of me. I sunk my fingers into the depths of his hair as his hands explored my body. I clawed at his t-shirt, pulling it off of his frame and over his head. He shifted, sitting up with me on top of him.
"I want you." He whispered into my mouth as I devoured his. He pulled my blouse off, leaving me in just my bra. His fingers ran over the skin of my back and ass, cradling it so that I was laying flush with his chest. God, I wanted him. I wanted him so badly right now that my entire body was buzzing with desire. I could feel the familiar ache in my lady parts as they begged to be touched. They wanted a sequel to the day at the theater, a long overdue one that they wanted to see in action once and for all. I wanted nothing more than to have him all over me and inside of me. The alcohol made that desire stronger and I made a beeline for the fly of his jeans.
'What about the baby?' a little voice said in the back of my mind. She's not here, I wanted to reply back. I wasn't going to worry about her hearing us sound like wild animals in heat right now. But as I kissed Tommy more, I knew what the voice meant. It was asking me if I could really go through with this, knowing that he had no clue what the last time we had been together had resulted in. Could I make love with Tommy without telling him the truth about Lily first? I tried to push those thoughts out of my mind as he made work of trying to get my bra straps undone. This was happening now and I could actually enjoy this. Did it really matter? Fucking apparently.
"Wait." I said, slightly pushing on his chest. I pulled my mouth from his, looking down at him. He looked up at me, confused as his one hand was still fiddling with my bra.
"What's the matter?" He asked.
"I'm sorry. I really am. But I can't do this." I said, guilt hitting me like a brick.
"What?" He questioned. I sighed.
"I thought I was ready but I don't think I am." I replied, sitting back on my heels. "I'm really sorry, Tommy. I just didn't want this to get too far."
"Hey." He said, reaching up and cupping my cheek in his hand. "It's okay. Whenever you're ready. I'll be here no matter what."
I don't know about that.
