June 29th, 2005
Olympic Valley, CA
The drive up to the cabin was fun. We listened to music and told Marci stories about our times in high school when we would go on trips together. It seemed like another world at this point, a different timeline that allowed for those types of things to happen. Lily slept for most of the trip, waking up long enough for Marci to feed her. Adam had given up the front seat to me, choosing to relax in the third row of seats. Marci was in the one behind us, Lily strapped in next to her. Aisha hadn't been able to get out of work in time for us. She would be heading up later this evening with Matteo, leaving Rocky to hang out with the other guys to get ready in the morning.
At the cabin, we arrived at a busy scene. Men in vans and trucks were unloading tents and tables and chairs, setting them up in the area behind the house. They set up the tents as we unloaded the van, making sure we were out of their way to work. There was also a trailer parked along the side of the house from the caterer company, the extra equipment they would need for tomorrow inside. It was beginning to look beautiful outside, a small area in some trees being set up as the sight of the wedding ceremony. Instead of chairs, they were using long benches as the pews that would get decorated tomorrow by us before getting ready. I really didn't think it would pull together so well so quickly but I knew that Aisha would make sure it went off without a hitch. She arrived a couple hours after we did, unpacking her things quickly before getting to work with the rest of us.
We set up Marci with both the babies while Trini, Aisha, and I made work of finishing the seat chart and the place cards for the tables. Adam went out with the workers in the yard, showing them exactly where everything would need to go and where everything would be set up in the morning. The tent for the reception was up and the tables were erected, chairs tucked into them. Since the tent could be closed and protected from the elements, Aisha and I set all the tables with linens and the centerpieces we had made. We left the candles unlit, waiting until tomorrow. Each chair had a cover for the back of it and the china was laid out in the right order. The stage for the DJ was also set up in the far corner, a space reserved for the dance floor in front of it. Adam and Billy had their own private sweethearts table for just the two of them that Aisha set up special for them. Tomorrow, the caterer and the DJ would be arriving before the ceremony to get everything started. The photographer was also going to be coming but very early to get pictures of everyone getting ready.
Excitement was beginning to rapidly build in my chest. I had felt awful about the way Nick had openly outed Billy and Adam's relationship but I was glad that it had led us here. I was thrilled to see the two of them about to begin their lives together on this new adventure. It made me think that there was such a thing as true love and that maybe the two of them had been soulmates, hanging out right under each other's noses until one of them finally noticed there was something here. I wished I had been here in the beginning stages of it to witness first hand but I was honored to be a part of it now.
Once everything was set up and in place for tomorrow, everything that needed to be kept safe for the night was stored into the back bedroom of the cabin. Since there were fewer of us this time than the last time we had been here, there was an extra room available. Marci and I would be sharing a room with Lily while everyone else had their own rooms. I was okay with this, looking forward to spending more time with Marci. It was starting to feel like normal again and I knew that if I wanted her to move back in after Tommy moved out, I would need to talk to her about it some time over the weekend. I didn't know what day exactly Tommy planned on moving out but I wanted her to come back as soon as possible to help fill that quiet void he would leave once he was gone.
"Lily is down for the night." I said, coming out of our bedroom. The little stinker had put up a fight, not wanting to miss a thing as I rocked her to sleep. Thankfully, once she was wrapped in her swaddle blanket and fed, she was out like a light. She was tucked into the pack and play in the room, her white noise machine making sure she wouldn't get woken up by anything we would be doing out in the living room. I clipped the baby monitor to my waist, the other end in the room with her. Marci was sitting on the couch, a roll of tulle in her lap as she tied little bows together for the backs of the chairs.
"Good. Aisha is wrestling with Matteo now. Trini and Adam had to run into town quickly to grab a couple of things for the morning." She replied, tossing a roll of tulle at me. "This shit is itchy and makes me relieved I'm never getting married." I scoffed, sitting on the couch next to her.
"You're gonna get married. It might not be a big event like this but you'll get married. I see you as one of those Vegas style weddings anyway." She nodded, smiling.
"I could see that." She replied. "Course, I'd have to nail down a guy first for that."
"What about Josh?" I asked, glancing over at her. She shrugged her shoulders.
"I mean, we get along good and he's super sweet. I don't know. I just always figured I would know right away if a guy was the one or not, you know?"
"You're still young, Marci. No one meets their soulmate when they're a teenager." I snipped a piece of the tulle from the roll.
"Oh yeah? Have you been around you and Tommy at all? Cause I'm pretty sure that's exactly what happened for the two of you. Besides, look at the other couples around us. You literally all have met your significant other in high school. Except Zack. But he's too busy trying to play the field to settle down." I let out a soft laugh, nodding.
"Alright. Maybe we were a bad example but I stand by my statement. The more pressure you put on something to work out, the less likely it will be that it works out the way you want it to. How about we focus on graduating and leave the marriage worries to you when you're older?" She sighed dramatically.
"Fine. I guess I'll stop planning my wedding now then." She smirked, setting another bow down. "Did you have your wedding to Tommy all planned out at my age?"
"Oh, yes. I had the dress in mind, our colors picked out, and what flowers I would carry as I walked down the aisle to a Celion Dion song. I had it all planned out." She laughed.
"It wasn't that song from the Titanic, was it?" I shook my head.
"Ha ha. No. It was another one. But nonetheless, it was going to be the most memorable wedding in all of Angel Grove." I finished the roll of tulle and set the empty tube aside. "I guess that's the good thing about daydreaming. It all stays in your head until you say it out loud."
"My daydreams would scare small children." Marci said, stretching her legs out in front of her.
"Can I talk to you about something?" I asked, shifting to look at her. She eyed me with caution.
"I'm not sure. I usually don't like where our talks take us."
"It's nothing bad. I promise." I said. "I wanted to talk to you about coming back home. Tommy is going to be moving in above the new dojo next week and I think it's time you come back. But that's only if you feel comfortable enough to do so."
"He's leaving?" She asked, looking confused. I nodded.
"He's just going to the dojo, not Alaska." I replied. "He's not going far."
"I didn't think he'd ever actually go through. That's not right. He belongs at home with you and Lily." I shrugged.
"He's still going to see her every day and he'll be around all the time. He just won't be actively living there. That's why I want you to come back home. I miss having you around and being able to talk to you about things. I know we left off kinda rocky but I hope that we can work through that."
"Are you going to tell Tommy the truth about Lily?" She asked. I looked down at my lap and nodded.
"After the wedding. I think once he's settled into the dojo, I'll break the news to him gently. That way, he'll have his own space to go to if he's upset with me. But I know that it's time. I can't keep hiding this from him, especially if we are trying to work on things to be together again." She smiled widely.
"That's probably the best thing I've heard you say in a long time." She said, reaching out and giving me a hug. I hugged her back, wrapping my arms around her torso. When she pulled away, she smiled at me again. "I don't think he's going to be as upset as you think he'll be." Oh, if you only knew half of it, I thought.
"We'll see. But until then, I'm going to enjoy this weekend and our time with you. If you're ready to come back, that's great. If not, we can keep working on things between us too." I offered.
"I am so ready to come back home." She said. "Not that I don't love Trini and Jason. I mean, I used to think Jason was hot. That was until I had to live with him and saw just how much time he spent on his hair in the morning or watching cop shows. I'm grateful they let me stay there but I need my own bathroom back again." I giggled, nodding.
"Sounds like Jason. Well, when we get back to Angel Grove, we can start planning to get everyone moved."
"Who knows. Maybe Tommy will decide not to leave once he knows the truth about Lily. Then we can live together as our big happy family again!"
"I'd like that a lot."
After my talk with Marci, Trini and Adam returned with cases of water and some food for breakfast in the morning. We sat with them and Aisha in the dining room and finished up the last few touches on the flowers and lace for the ceremony before heading to bed. Marci crawled into her side of the queen side bed and drifted off quickly. I peaked in on Lily before climbing into my side of the bed. I closed my eyes, thinking about what I was going to say to Tommy when I told him. Fear prickled my scalp as I thought about him screaming at me and trying to rip Lily out of my arms. I opened my eyes, the panic in my chest making my heart thunder. Was that going to happen? Was he going to just take her from me at that moment and that would be the end of it? I had no clue what I would do if that were to happen. It made me sick to think about. I felt tears cloud my eyes as I glanced in Marci's direction. I was risking everything by telling Tommy and I had no idea if I could even trust him with this after everything I had done to him.
The darkness around me was so thick, I couldn't even see my hand in front of my face as I walked. I tried to see something, anything, to tell me exactly where I was but nothing was coming into view. I reached out blindly around me and couldn't feel anything either besides the hard surface under my feet. The shuffled forward with each step, unsure if I was going to trip over something or not if I dared to pick up my foot from the ground.
"Hello?" I called out, my voice echoing around me when I did. "Is someone there?" There was some kind of metallic noise behind me that caused me to jump. On instinct, I took a defensive position with my hands up in front of me in case I needed to fight. There was more movement, coming closer this time. Whatever it was seemed to be just inches away from me and I didn't like that it could possibly see me and I couldn't see it. "I know you're there. Show yourself!"
"Kimberly!" A booming voice said as a suddenly blinding light flashed into my eyes. I winced, covering my face with my hands. I closed my eyes, trying to block out the source of the bright light but it seemed to go right through my eyelids. "I am glad to see you have returned." The voice said, the light dimming. I blinked, trying to get my eyes adjusted to the sudden change. I saw that most of the room was still dark except for the bright light coming from a structure in the middle of the room.
"Zordon?" I asked, surprised to see the floating head of the intergalactic being in front of me in his chamber. He smiled down at me, the light coming from him illuminating the rest of the Command Center. I saw that Alpha was standing by the controls but he wasn't moving and his own controls weren't lit up. "What's wrong with Alpha?" I asked, stepping towards him. When I touched him, he didn't move.
"This is a dream in your self conscious. Since you are unable to project him as living, this is how your mind sees him right now." Zordon answered.
"Then why can I see you?" I questioned, shifting to look up at him again.
"I am unsure of the answer to that question but I am here." He replied. "I am happy to see you have grown into a strong young woman, Kimberly. I hope you are happy."
"Happy? I'm not too sure if that's the word I would use entirely. I'm happy to have my daughter, though. Her name is Lily, Zordon. She's beautiful."
"You are fortunate to have the opportunity to raise a daughter. I understand the fear that comes from raising children. I considered each of you my own children in your own way when you served with the rangers." He said.
"Oh yeah? Then why the hell did you send us into such dangerous situations every single day?" I asked, stepping closer to him. "We nearly died too many times to count and you want to claim that you loved us like your own children. How does that measure up?"
"You were never given more than you could handle. You and your friends were true warriors who fought with courage and strength. The Earth owes you a debt that they will never be able to repay."
"I don't want to be repaid. I just want to know how it ended up that I had to lose my powers. It wasn't fair! I loved being a ranger and fighting side by side with everyone. Why did it have to end up that I couldn't do that anymore? Why did it have to end like that? Why did it have to end at all?"
"Sadly, everyone who is a ranger must come to the terms that their time on the team will come to an end. Unfortunately for you, it had to be sooner than we expected. We tried all we could to save your powers but the results were not the ones we wanted in the end. You had other goals and aspirations to pursue after the powers were transferred."
"Yeah. Look where that ended me. If I hadn't left, I wouldn't have met Nick and became the pathetic excuse of a person I was." I mumbled, crossing my arms. "Tommy was able to come back as a different ranger! Why couldn't I?"
"You left." Zordon said in a simple tone. This caused a flare of anger in my chest.
"I only left because everyone gave up on trying to find a way for me to stay! Even Tommy did. We just accepted the fact I didn't have powers anymore and that Kat needed to take my coin. I was tossed aside like garbage after the fact. That broke something inside of me. I left thinking that I didn't matter and that I wasn't worth trying to save. You all moved on without me here and didn't even bother to include me in anything that was going on." He furrowed his brow.
"You were gone, Kimberly. All plans for the team still had to move forward. We couldn't stop just because you weren't here. Tommy still had a team to lead."
"Yeah, he sure did. Every time I tried to talk to him or tried to even catch him on the phone, I had to fight against his Ranger duties. I was the outcast of the group since I couldn't be called on to help out or to rush back into action to save the day. Hell, Tommy still managed to do that when he was losing his Green Ranger powers. Me, I just flashed and that was it. No one even thought to check in on me when I was in Florida either. Especially after I broke up with Tommy. It felt like I was enemy number one to them after that and it was a sin to talk to me. I was still their friend! I was still a person who was going through things. I was trying to make something out of myself! I was working for a gold medal! I did everything I was supposed to do and then some."
"The trainer that assaulted you." He said. I glared up at him.
"I quit because of what he did to me. Everyone there turned their backs on me when I asked for help. The only one who cared to help me was Nick. He was there and he helped me through that. I thought he was this great guy because he was able to support me through the worst thing to ever happen to me."
"You loved him." Zordon said, his gaze on me unwavering.
"What choice did I have?" I asked, pacing the floor. "Tommy was moving on without me here and I had no one else to talk to. I figured it would be nice to have a boyfriend there."
"Sometimes, actions speak greater volumes than spoken words."
"I didn't know he would end up being the asshole that he was." I said, rolling my eyes. "How was I supposed to know he'd end up a drug addict and a woman beater? It's not like he showed any of those signs when we were dating or in Florida. It started because he felt threatened by Tommy. He knew that we still had feelings for each other. He could see it since we arrived and it drove him insane."
"This is how Tommy came to be the father of your daughter." Zordon stated. I let my arms fall to my sides as I stopped pacing. "Tommy is a wonderful leader and companion. He would make an excellent father figure for any child."
"I know that Zordon. It's not that I don't think Tommy is a good dad. He's a great Dad to Lily already. He's sweet and he's doting. He makes sure she has everything she needs. It's what he will do to me once he finds out that she's really his daughter I'm afraid of." I bit my lip. "What if he's so angry that he just takes everything away from me? What if he does something crazy?"
"Tommy is not Nick." Zordon said. "Your fear of him hurting you in some manner is holding you back from realizing what the right thing to do is. Nick has created a fear in you that Tommy will hurt you because Nick did. It's okay that you feel this way but you cannot keep projecting Nick's actions on to Tommy."
"I'm not doing that!" I yelled. "I know Tommy won't hurt me. He'd never lay a hand on me. He's not like that."
"Not all abuse is physical and not all fear is from those memories that we plan to keep." Zordon said softly. "Kimberly, Nick's impact goes deeper than that of bruises and scars. I'm afraid he had altered the sense in how you see and relate to Tommy. This is why you are fearful to tell him the truth. You are afraid he will hurt you because that's what Nick did to you." I looked from him over to Alpha's form that still hadn't moved. I was standing in a room where a majority of my memories of Tommy had been formed. I got to know Tommy here and grew to trust him, even after he was the green ranger. That was because I knew that Tommy wasn't the one to blame for his actions. Someone else had caused him to do those things. Some one else was to blame for hurting us. For hurting me.
Just like it was now.
"Zordon, I know that Tommy would never hurt me." I repeated. "But I can't imagine life without Lily in it. If he takes her away, I don't know what I would do."
"You know Tommy the best in your heart, Kimberly. You know how he will act truly the best of anyone. You'll need to dig inside your subconscious to determine if you feel that you should tell him or not. The decision is yours to make and yours alone. Think wisely though because you'll never be able to reverse the decision once it is made."
"He loves me." I whispered, smiling. Looking up, I saw that Zordon smiled back at me.
"It was good to see you again."
"Thank you, Zordon. For everything. I wish things had ended differently for you."
"I am at peace, my duty to the world complete. I wish you the same."
"Yes, Zordon." The light around him began to fade and I was in darkness again.
Waking with a small start, I felt myself sit up in bed. Sweat was on my brow and I was panting slightly, trying to catch my breath. Looking around the room, I saw that the sun was coming through the small window on the right side of the room. Birds were chirping and I could hear people talking outside. It had been a dream. I had seen Zordon in a dream and not in the real world. I looked over and saw that both Marci and Lily were gone, one probably with the other. I thought back to the dream. Tommy. Zordon had told me that I couldn't keep letting Nick justify my actions against Tommy. He needed to know the truth about Lily. He needed to know that he was really her father.
And I had to tell him today.
