A soft caress upon her cheek, the gentle brush of another's breath. Sensations she couldn't remember. Was there anything to remember? The touch of human skin wasn't often a happy memory. It was immediately followed by discomfort, immediately followed by regret. Regret for how she was, regret for everything she seemed to offer as a human being, regret for having the inkling of desire for the warmth of another.
Beneath circumstance, Yasu was a child. She held the exact wants as any other child. The touch of loved ones, the nostalgic embrace of those she looked up to. Her father.
He was doting, caring, and loving. A million adjectives could have been put into the box where he lived. Then, of course, there was frustration, fights, and tension, but he had done everything he could for her at the end of the day. But Yasu had grown expectant, wanting things outside his control. Things he cursed himself every day for not being able to provide. He didn't know if she would ever understand. It toed the line of deception, but he couldn't bring himself to lie. Better to be left in the dark than veiled in lies. So he kept his mouth shut.
He was right. She didn't understand, and she never would. She convinced herself as such, which was why she stopped asking questions. She stopped asking why she didn't have a mom, why she lived a life unlike the books she read, and why she would wake up in the middle of the night to hear him crying. She was better off knowing nothing, being left in the dark.
But these thoughts did little to explain her feelings while her eyes were closed. A soft caress upon her cheek, the gentle brush of another's breath. A whispering in her ear, "I've never stopped loving you." Yasu would force her eyes awake without warning. She would try to catch whoever it was in the act, gaze upon the face of the ghostly figure who seemed to offer everything her heart desired. She never got a good look at whatever it was. When her eyes opened, she was alone. She wondered if the person existed or if there really was someone on the planet who never stopped loving her. She doubted it.
"I've never stopped loving you."
Buried in a light sheet of sand, she forced her eyes open. She expected the same thing as always, expecting nothing to be in front of her eyes when they opened. But, this time, she was wrong.
A tall form, taller even than her father. Cloaked in dark robes, entirely indistinguishable from the sky behind them. But Yasu saw her. She was sure of it. She saw the woman making her escape, running off into the distance like she had done every other time before.
"Wait, please!"
A desperate plea as Yasu dug herself out of the ground. Her legs carried her forward unconsciously. An unspoken desire pushed her forward no matter how weak she appeared or how heavy her weight felt atop the bottoms of her feet and the tips of her toes. But for every inch she gained, the figure moved a foot. Finally, Yasu reached her hand forward, and the momentum took her balance. She didn't fall to the ground.
Within the palm of her hand, she felt warmth, a warmth she hadn't felt before. It was hopeful, loving, doting, and caring. Her insides were churning, making room for the stirring of comfort. With a warm hug from the inside out, Yasu could only gape pathetically.
She was there, she was in front of her. The person she had been chasing her entire life was before her eyes. The person she had been chasing for her entire life was gripping her hand without recoiling, without surprise, without pain. Without burning. Yasu wanted to see her face. She gazed upwards.
There was no face.
Yasu wanted to cry out as the warmth grew more intense. The warmth was burning. Her insides were boiling. The skin was being ripped from her hand. Still, she could only gape.
"This is how you feel." a soft voice with a dark and twisted reverberation lingering milliseconds behind each syllable. "This is who you are."
This isn't who she was. She was lying! She had to be lying! Yasu couldn't believe she had been fooled for so long! This wasn't everything she wanted. This was everything she feared.
The burning reached a fever pitch. She imagined this was what dying felt like. Screaming distortion in her ears, unspeakable agony infecting every fiber of her being, confusion rising as her insides melt.
Part of her thinks that she died at that moment, atop that patch of sand and only a few feet from where her abandoned colouring book lay forgotten. But her story didn't end.
The figure left with the breeze, dissolved into specs of dirt, and escaped towards where the sun was rising. Yasu was alone once again. She had no tears to cry, but her eyes wept as she screeched at the top of her lungs.
"Can you quiet down."
"Wakey, wakey, sleepyhead."
A soft groan escaped from her lips. She wasn't ready to open her eyes or for the day to begin. But it was becoming increasingly apparent that she had no say in the matter.
"Come on, you can't just sleep all day, it's noon!"
Another soft groan escaped her lips, but now her eyes were beginning to open. A blurred woman appeared before her. Yasu recognized her. Tenten? That's right, she was in her house. She was sleeping on her bed. But, of course, it hadn't felt entirely natural yet, so she had to remind herself of this every time she awoke.
"I'm up. I'm up." a resilient admittance of defeat as Yasu lightly lifted her head from the soft pillow. She didn't want to move. She was more comfortable than she could ever remember being. Leaving behind the soft sheets and pillow felt like death, but it was something she confronted head-on. Finally, she fully sat up and met Tenten's eyes with the tired ones of her own. "Happy?"
"Very." Tenten acknowledged the words but ignored their snarkiness. "We have plans with the Hokage, hurry and get ready."
"WE have plans?" Yasu groaned yet again. If leaving the soft sheets and pillow felt like death, the thought of coming face to face with the vile woman Tsunade felt like murder. And she was the one getting murdered. "Do I really need to go?"
Tenten scoffed semi-jokingly, "I'm the one that shouldn't have to go, but here I am trying to be a good friend by coming with you to see the boss. Sorry for helping."
"No, no. It's fine. We can go." There was a bit of guilt that came with Tenten having to chaperone her around. Still, Yasu wasn't about to throw away the chance to have backup when she came face to face with Tsunade again. Once she was standing, "Let's go."
"You don't need to get ready? A shower?"
"And change into what clothes?"
"Good point."
With the short exchange, the two left the bedroom and stepped outside again. Yasu hardly recognized Konoha in the daytime.
"I need you to tell me everything there is to know about you."
There was only a second of reprieve between Yasu sitting down and Tsunade whipping her chair around and beginning the line of questioning without any introduction or good morning. Tenten sat beside Yasu but remained quiet, knowing better than Shikamaru to keep her mouth shut.
Yasu was hesitant but not entirely unwilling to share her story. Parts of it, at least. But, as before, Tsunade was asking too open-ended a question. Yasu felt it would be easier to hide bits and pieces of herself if answering direct questions. Tsunade picked up on this rather quickly.
"First - how did you get in touch with the Shonin," she leaned back as she asked the question, kicking her feet up in a 'we're gonna be here for a while' type of way.
"I got sold to them," Yasu spoke plainly, not elaborating if she didn't have to. Then, finally, Tsunade made it clear she had to.
"Sold to them by who? Why were you sold to them? Why did they buy you?" Tsunade's barrage continued.
Sold to them by who? She didn't want to mutter the name. She wouldn't mutter the name. The name burned her tongue whenever it left her mouth. The name burned her brain whenever she thought about each letter. So, no, she wouldn't answer that part.
"The Shonin thought I was a God, like we told you before." Yasu shook her head. "They took notice of me because I wasn't like everyone else. I was in one piece. I was alive."
"In one piece? Alive?"
Yasu held her tongue for a moment, "The Shonin weren't great escorts. I'll give them that. But compared to how I was before?" Another pause.
"Imagine a nightmare, a terror that has invaded your mind and won't leave you alone. You can't wake up. You've been scared, you've been startled to the point where your brain should have shocked you awake. But no. No matter how much you want to wake up and go back to your normal life, you can't. For every second that you're conscious in your dream you're afraid. Every single one of your senses is on high alert, but that doesn't help. It doesn't help at all. Every single one of your senses is being ripped open with things you don't want to experience. Smells you don't want to smell, pictures you don't want to see, sounds you don't want to hear, feelings you don't want to touch, tastes you don't want to taste. But you are smelling, you are seeing, you are hearing, you are touching, you are tasting. All. At. Once. All. The. Time."
A long pause. Nobody pitied her, and she was thankful for that. On the other hand, Tenten and Tsunade both gave inquisitive glances that made her feel like a crazy person. Who knows, maybe she was.
"Alright, melodrama aside…." Tsunade cut in. Yasu griped.
"Melodrama?! This was my LIFE!"
"Pipe down, child!"
Tsunade bellowed, rising from her chair in a magnificent display of force. Yasu felt like she was sinking into her chair, diminishing under the Hokage's glare. "I've heard stories. I've heard DETAILED stories. Which yours isn't. I've known more pain than you can even imagine. We all have. Everyone has their own nightmare they must wake from."
Yasu didn't respond, and Tsunade once again took a seat.
"Elaborate." She commanded, "What were you smelling, seeing, hearing, all that."
Yasu paused for a moment. She wasn't keen on putting her mind back in that place and wasn't ready to fully confront the things she had purposefully blocked from her memory. But she had little choice at this point. If she continued to block vast chunks of her past, she would have trouble remembering close to anything.
"I saw… people getting massacred. Tortured." Yasu began with a start, rubbing her elbow in a small semblance of coping, "He was trying to figure out… something. But he couldn't figure it out. Sometimes he was doing it so that he could figure out whatever he was working on, sometimes he did it just because he liked doing it."
"Liked doing what?"
"Cutting them open, ripping them to shreds. He would take huge needles and shove stuff inside people. If they freaked out he would take a finger. If they freaked out about losing a finger, they'd lose another. Eventually they ran out of fingers. If they were still freaking out, he knew it wasn't what he wanted."
"What did he want?"
"Like I said, I don't know!" Yasu raised her voice, not in aggression, but desperation. Tenten finally spoke.
"Give her some slack, Tsunade. This is… a lot." She pleaded with the older woman on Yasu's behalf. Yasu usually didn't like to be stuck up for like this, but even a moment of respite made her keep this thought to herself.
"What this is; is familiar, Tenten." Tsunade tapped her forehead in thought for a moment. "Yasu, on the count of 3, we're both going to say their name. Ready? 3…"
Yasu didn't have time to think about what Tsunade was asking her to do. It was probably the one thing Yasu didn't want to say.
"2…"
Yasu's eyes darted around the room. Could she escape? No chance. Yasu saw the ninja positioned just outside. She knew she couldn't take them. Even Tenten was enough of an obstacle to make her attempt baseless.
"1…"
Yasu looked outside the window just behind where Tsunade sat. It was midday, and there wasn't a cloud in the sky. She thought back to the comfortable bed she had been lying on only a few hours before. Was she ready to give that up? The more she thought about it, the more she realized that the graciousness received from Shikamaru, Hinata, Kiba, and Tenten was more gracious than she had ever received. Maybe she owed them a bit of her own discomfort.
"Or…"
"Orochimaru!"
When the timer had counted all the way down, Tsunade broke her promise. Aside from the first sound of his name, Yasu was left to pronounce each sibilant alone. It was as though Tsunade took pleasure in hearing the words and felt satisfaction from how venomous the sounds seemed coming from her mouth. Tsunade couldn't help but smile, a smile that dug down to Yasu's core. "I knew it."
She stood abruptly, surprising the two onlookers from the other side of the desk. Tenten made a start to question, "What are you doing?"
"We got a lead this morning. A big one." Tsunade shuffled through the paper atop her desk, pulling a couple sheets from the stack. Carefully eyeing each one, she crumpled one and threw it to the side. The other she folded neatly into a tight square before putting it into her jacket pocket. She continued to rummage through her paperwork for another moment. "For now, I'm leaving a few things with you and Yasu."
Opening her drawer, she withdrew a small vial and a notepad. She tossed the items across the desk after scribbling a quick note onto them. Tenten jumbled the items as she caught them. "What are these?"
"In the vial: cyanide for Yasu. In the notepad, an expense sheet."
"Cyanide?"
Yasu knew what it was, if only because of the frequency Orochimaru played with the stuff. Yasu never actually saw it being used, but she knew what the bottle looked like atop Orochiamru's shelf. Whenever the bottle was taken, Yasu knew there would be one less person in her cell block. Did Tsunade intend to kill her? Had she said the wrong thing? A bead of sweat rolled down her forehead.
"Tsunade!?" Tenten interjected.
"It isn't for now, relax." Tsunade scoffed, brushing the hair from her face. "But if something were to happen, Yasu needs to take everything she told me and is going to tell me to the grave. Understood?" pointing a finger to Yasu, "I don't know what use you have to Orochimaru or the Shonin, but I refuse to let them get their hands on you again. This is strictly a precaution."
"You can't expect me to drink that WILLINGLY. There's no way." More disbelief than anger came from Yasu's words.
"I fully expect you to drink if things go wrong. Either that or someone slits your throat. Or you willingly go back to being Orochimaru's experiment. That's for you to decide."
Yasu wasn't gonna lie. None of those options sounded great. She was stunned to silence.
"I hear that Yasu is staying at your place, Tenten. Use the expense sheet and get her outfitted with whatever she needs to get settled. Outfit her, too, with some travel supplies. If things go the way I hope they will, she's gonna need them." Finally grabbing the last few sheets from her desk, Tsunade made her way to the door. Turning back before leaving, "Before the end of the day, please."
With those final words, Tenten and Yasu were alone in the office. There was a nagging silence that neither wanted to be the first to break. Things were moving quickly, faster than at any time in Yasu's life. It felt like she was moving at a million miles an hour, a million new and different things weighing down her shoulders every moment. Was it even worth it?
She would peer over at Tenten sitting beside her and see the worry on her face. That alone was enough to make it worth it. For all the obstacles in front of her, she was getting help from more people than she ever had. Yasu steeled her resolve.
"It's fine, I'll do it."
"You shouldn't have to!" Tenten would shout as soon as the silence was broken. Yasu was touched that someone would stick up for her like this. Yasu would shake her head only to be cut off, "No, you don't get it!"
Standing from her seat, "You never signed up for this, you can't help who you are! Even being here in the first place wasn't your decision! It just isn't fair."
She was right. It wasn't fair. But nothing about Yasu's life so far had been fair. Yasu saw herself in Tenten, that same bitterness that Yasu had carried for so long. That bitterness had long since died in Yasu, replaced by a cavern of repressiveness directed towards… she didn't even know anymore. But that bitterness would one day die inside Tenten as well. It always did. "You're right."
Another silence. Tenten retook her place beside Yasu. Her fingers would outstretch and recoil again and again. Tenten would have taken Yasu's hand into her own if she didn't know better.
The Hyuga compound was quiet that afternoon. The branch families were off doing their usual shopping, the children were at daycare, and even the animals that normally scurried through the courtyards were away. Hinata enjoyed the temporary solitude between the bustling of lunch and the chaos of everyone heading home for the evening. She made it a point to get home around this time whenever she wasn't away on a mission. However, she came this day not for solitude, quite the opposite even. She came to meet someone.
Placing her bag near the entrance and straightening her clothes, Hinata opened the door of the primary household and entered with as little sound as possible. To her surprise, another figure was inside the room beside the one she had come to see.
"Neji? I didn't know you were back." The room's darkness gave her the motive to whisper even though it was the middle of the day. Of the two figures in front of her, Neji turned to face Hinata as she entered. The other remained flat across the floor, tucked tightly into its futon.
"I got back this morning and slept late," Neji responded matter-of-factly as Hinata took a seat atop her knees beside him. "It was about as bad as you thought it would be."
"What do you mean?"
"Orochimaru's lair. Or one of them, at least. Shino and I saw the things that Orochimaru is up to. If Sasuke had known, I don't think he would have willingly gone to him."
Hinata shook her head, "I think he would have gone no matter what he knew. He knew that Orochimaru had destroyed half the village and killed the Hokage. So I don't think this would have gone differently no matter what we tried."
"I still don't think he was aware of how deep the rabbit hole went."
Hinata could only nod, not exactly excited by the idea of Neji filling her in on all the details. She heard enough from Lady Tsunade to get an idea of Orochimaru's torturous hobbies. She didn't need to hear about every corpse left behind inside Orochimaru's abandoned labs.
"There was some good news though," Neji brightened slightly, "We know where he's going to be. He's headed back to the land of wind."
Hinata pondered for a moment, "How do you know?"
"The thing he's looking for, the thing he's doing everything for, is there."
"What is he looking for?"
"Someone powerful." Neji clenched his fists, "Not just someone strong though, something artificial. Something built to last. A God."
A brief image of Yasu popped into her head, but Hinata kept her mouth shut.
"How do you know it's in the land of wind?"
"We found his notes. Entries dated to the day before Shino and I arrived. The ink was hardly dry. He's meeting someone there, but he didn't specify who."
Another image of Yasu, this time with a silhouette of the Shonin looming overhead. But, unfortunately, they weren't in the land of wind.
"Did you already tell Tsunade?"
"Of course, and she already has a plan in action. Though I'm not sure of what role we will have." Hinata felt they would be playing prominent roles but kept her mouth shut.
So Tsunade was aware of what Neji was saying. She was also aware of Yasu, the apparent contradiction against the idea of Orochimaru heading towards the land of wind. So why was Neji purposefully being kept in the dark? What Orochimaru was looking for was right in front of them, right here in Konoha. Did Orochimaru already know that?
Letting the topic of Neji's mission fall to the side, the two Hyuga focused on the sleeping figure in front of them.
"Any improvements while I was away?"
"I've been checking on him almost every day and there's been nothing."
Hinata's father lay comatose in front of them, stomach rising and falling to a slow yet steady rhythm. Hinata oversaw his features and paid mind to the softened paleness upon his skin and the tight grimace that was now a regular feature of his face.
The medical ninja had run countless tests and remedies for this seemingly common illness. Nothing more than the flu. Nothing that the average Hyuga couldn't shake off in a couple weeks, much less the head of the family. But his chakra was weakening, and his body was softening. He was being kept alive through sheer willpower alone.
Now, Hinata held something to strengthen this willpower. Something that could assist her father in more ways than the presence of her daughter alone could. Something that could bring his smiling face back to both of them and the entirety of the clan. The Bufula.
"Neji… we can use this."
Withdrawing the herb from her pouch, she brought the Bufula to Neji's outstretched hand. His eyes widened. He knew what it was. He couldn't have mistaken it for anything else.
"Hinata, how did you…."
But before Neji could overcome his shock, Hinata took the Bufula from his hand. She smiled widely, "We can save him! He'll be better by the end of the night! We can have dinner together!"
Hinata's excitement was not met. Neji's thick layer of uncertainty was a brick wall that stopped Hinata's idea where it lay. He would shake his head. Hinata could hardly believe it.
"This… this could change everything, Hinata." Neji was firm in his speech. He would reach forward and close Hinata's hand around the Bufula as if even gazing upon the feather was enough to kill its potency. "We could help so many."
"We could help HIM." Hinata was similarly strong in her commitment.
"He will pull through, Hinata. You have to trust him." Neji's eyes softened his voice to a plea. "We can't be selfish. It isn't what he would want."
"He wouldn't want to die either."
"He won't. Believe in him. Believe in the Hyuga."
Hinata's fist shook. Was he really refusing? Did he not see the opportunity that was placed right in their laps? Did he not understand what would happen if the leader of the strongest clan left in Konoha passed away? Did he forget what Hinata would have to do?
As if reading her mind, "I understand your desperation, Hinata. I do. You aren't ready to head the clan. You aren't ready to succeed your father. But you can't let this cloud your judgment." Hinata could no longer meet Neji's gaze, "Tsunade can use this, bring it back from extinction. Find a way to give it to everyone who needs it."
No, Neji didn't understand at all.
"Fine." She lied.
Putting the Bufula back into her bag, Hinata stood from the floor. She didn't feel at all welcome anymore. Neji could only sigh.
"Promise me you'll take that to Lady Tsunade. Promise me."
"I promise." She lied.
Neji caught a firm grip on Hinata's hand before she could leave, "He will pull through. Trust him."
"I do." She lied again.
omg he has covid!
That's totally a joke if you couldn't tell :p
But ooooh who was that person from the beginning? What's Tsunade's plan? What's Hinata about to do? Find out next time in the next episode of-
Another chapter down! I'm super proud of myself for getting to this point, and I really wanna make sure to get as much done as I can while I can.
Anyways, it's like 1AM. I didn't wanna go to sleep before I finished the chapter. Now that it's done, I'm gonna sleep like a baby.
As always; leave a fav, follow, or review if you like it! It's always a treat when I get a notification about someone showing this story some love. It really makes my day :)
-Kommli
