AN: Even though they sure are a stubborn couple they sure make fireworks when they're together. Slowly but surely they will start to come together and Paul will get over his commitment-phobia very soon.
Bella POV
A few whole months had gone by slowly yet nothing had changed, I still felt miserable. I was beginning to grow tired of everything, not just how I felt about Paul. I seemed to be in a depression so deep that nothing could bring me out. I thought all it was was normal heartbreak, hell Edward had me catatonic for months, too. At least with him we had been in a relationship.I must be out of my mind completely, utterly certifiable.
Emily and I still saw each other and talked frequently and she knew something was wrong but she didn't pry. She was about the only one I could laugh or smile with besides dad. Paul had apparently been asking about me but I didn't want to see him even though my heart ached to. It almost beat to the sound of his name. I felt crazy, obsessive, weird, and like this wasn't normal at all. I finally gathered up the nerve to do something about it when I thought I was having a heart attack. I ended up in the hospital after collapsing and the doctors said my heart seemed to be beating weakly. I knew this wasn't any old heart break, this was that damn fucking wolf magic and I was going to get to the bottom of it all. Eventually this prompted a visit to old Quil. He always had the answers. I didn't want to tell the pack and have them worry more than they already did and they hadn't even known I went to the hospital. Emily hadn't told anyone about what was wrong but she had mentioned it was very unusual, Most of the guys brushed it off as girl stuff and we could get along as cordially as usual.
I pulled up to the cabin that was set as deeply into the La Push woods as possible. No one lived for miles in either direction. This had always been the mediceman's home, for as many generations as it had stood that's where the wisemen of the tribe lived. On the outskirts, living integrally with the tribe but being of their own reckoning. The cabin was built in a traditional style with large evergreens surrounding it. Ferns looked as if they were enveloping the porch. Old Quil sat on a large wooden rocking chair quietly, listening to the chimes delicately tinkling in the wind. He was at peace. A feeling I could only dream of returning to.
"Ah, sweet child. Something is troubling you immensely. I can feel your burden from here. Please, please, come in." He stood as he uttered the last words beckoning for me to come into his house. I followed behind silently, scanning the tree line to make sure none of the pack had seen me come here. As if he knew exactly what I was thinking he said, "Do not worry child, they do not patrol here. Nothing can harm me that they can protect me from." With that he offered me a seat on his old brown leather couch. His small living room and kitchen were lined with books and herbs. The smells were beautiful and potent. As soon as I sat down he spoke not wasting anytime, he knew why I was here, "You are in love young one. With the wild one of the pack. Young LaHote. Not the one I would have chosen for a sweet girl like you. However I am not the spirits, so I do not choose, I only listen. However, it is no ordinary love. Or else you would just move on as he has. No, this is a love that was destined, almost the same as the other imprints. Yet, young LaHote cannot imprint. That is why he doesn't feel what you feel. He is not nearly dying inside because of it like you. He knows he likes you more than he should, but those are his normal feelings. It is up to you to like him for him, not for the incomplete imprint. You imprinted the day he started to move on from his grudge against you. The night his heart started to lighten towards you. He no longer saw you as kin to the vampire therefore you were able to see the first real glimpse into him that wasn't blind hatred."
I sat there silently not sure if he was going to continue or if I was supposed to speak. Of course I had imprinted, there had been no other reason for why I had felt like the dead walking. Of course Paul couldn't imprint he wouldn't know if someone loved him even if they smacked him in the face with affection and care the rest of his life. He was socially incapable of understanding love. That I was sure of. Old quil spoke again as realization drifted into my mind, "Yes, young one that is correct. If you cannot fall in love with the true Paul, past the imprint you are doomed to perish. It may seem wildly unfair but the spirits do not make mistakes, and you have wasted valuable time unfortunately. You have until the harvest moon, after that, you will slowly erode from this Earth if you cannot look past his must go to him, the continued distance will weaken you further. Explain this to him or don't, you will use your discretion appropriately. Good luck my child, you will be successful. Please remember, the spirits do not make mistakes." With that he fed me and sent me on my way commencing my journey to get to know the real Paul all while subduing the imprint.
I hopped into my car after I walked out from the woods of Old Quil's. I felt somewhat renewed. I could fall in love with the real Paul couldn't I? One thing I know is that I had to find him fast, I needed any form of relief from the pain immediately. I called Jake knowing that he would have first hand knowledge of where Paul would be on a Friday night.
"Jake, hey, its Bells. Do you have any idea where Paul is right now? It's important." I could hear a light chuckle from the other end of the phone, a sweet husky sound I had missed so much, "Sure thing Bells, he's at the bar, This is Paul LaHote, honey." I hung up immediately, of course, the fucking bar. I sped home like a bat out of hell, I needed to get there before some other bimbo got their hands on Paul and I knew that wouldn't take long at all. His little black book probably was over a hundred pages long. I went home, put on some tight fitting boot cut jeans and a purple silk camisole and boots. As I rushed I shook my hair out from the tight twist I usually kept it in letting my long curls tumble around my face. I smeared on some lipstick, mascara, and eyeliner and hit the road.
I saw his bike sitting in the parking lot and I instantly felt a tiny bit of relief. My heart growing lighter. I parked and walked in needing a drink almost as badly as I needed to see him. It was crowded and loud and generally made me uncomfortable. I pushed and shoved my way through the small packed building until I saw long black hair and muscles out of the corner of my eye. All I could think was jackpot. I slid into the seat next to him just as some bottle blonde was about to. I glared and she took the hint, moving on. He still didn't notice I was there over all the commotion and the live cover band starting up some famous country song. He was paying attention to the band and I needed a drink, badly. My nerves were shot and I wasn't quite prepared for rejection. The bartender finally got around to asking me what I needed, I just croaked out, "Two tequila shots, quickly. Please." He nodded and slammed to shot glasses on the bartop pouring out the bottom shelf bottle into the glasses quickly. I picked both up and figured I needed the confidence boost before I either faced him or heartache. I slammed both back into my lips one after the other the burning taste lighting my throat on fire practically causing me to break out into a sweat. When I finally slammed them back on the counter slightly gasping for breath was when Paul noticed me.
He looked as incredible as always. His short black tshirt under his cut clinging tightly to every large muscle perfectly. His jeans were hugging everywhere perfectly from what I could see, too. His hair was flung over his other shoulder as he turned to talk to me. "Hey, Bella, long time no see. Thirsty are we? How have you been? I know everyone has been a little worried." I let the feeling of him being next to me calm me, "I've been alright, busy with work. I've been a little down in the dumps but nothing a little tequila can't fix. I got a lot going on." Almost muttering under my breath about my imminent death if we don't fall in love piece. He smiled relaxing a little, "Hey, I just wanted to say I'm sorry for the way I left things awhile back. I shouldn't have done that. I like you as a person and it was a pretty shitty thing to do. Let me buy you another drink." I just nodded, "Its cool, don't worry about it. Yeah, sure, I could really use another drink." I wasn't about to tell him that he had almost ruined me. Apparently the spirits took his bumbling ineptitude as a rejection of my imprint since he couldn't imprint himself. Good thing he couldn't imprint because he would've actually unknowingly killed the both of us. I took a few more shots and I had a strong buzz going on, my inhibitions dropping quickly with the imprint pushing me closer and closer to him .Finally he asked me to dance, it had been so long the country band had left and the DJ was playing some hip hop. Unusual for a country bar, but hey I like rap just as much as any other girl. I pulled his hand out onto the dancefloor and he looked utterly bewildered. He sure was oblivious when it came to me even if he was such a ladies man.
I pressed his hips against my back as I began to writhe to the beat letting the natural connections off our bodies sing, his arms tightly wrapping around my waist as he continued on with our sensual dance. A few songs played on as we were connected together when I heard a dark whisper directly next to my ear send seductive shivers down my spine, "Want to get out of here, sweetheart?"
