The gang traveled to the Quagmire area from Banjo-Tooie. Everything looked exactly how it did in the game.
"Damn! So that door really does connect the lands of Banjo-Kazooie and Tooie together! Man, I miss the old Rareware…" Toad sighed, remembering all the cool games Nintendo and Rareware collaborated on in the old days.
"Yeah yeah, talk about all the geeky stuff later! Now how the hell are all of us going to get up there on that platform that leads to Cauldron Keep?" Mona asked.
"I suggest we all form a human ladder!" Kooper spoke. Everyone gave him a blank stare. "…Sorry. That's the best I got."
"Well, since only me and Kazooie are the only ones who can actually get up there, we'll get the gem and Lakilulu by ourselves. We defeated Grunty many times before and we can do it again," Banjo spoke confidently.
"No no. We are not letting you go up there alone. Grunty's magic is more powerful than ever. Isn't there another way for all of us to get up there?" Mario asked, truly not wanting the bear and bird fight a battle on their own. The two thought hard about this one.
"Hmm…well…do you see that pipe over there? The one that's right next to the Cauldron Keep entrance? I'm sure most of us can jump and climb that pipe up to the platform very easily, despite that being almost impossible in the real world, but for the others…it may still not work," Birdo pointed out.
"Oh, I'm sure all of us can climb that pipe to the top. But that pipe needs to be lowered in order for ALL of us to even get onto it in the first place. Any ideas?" Goombella asked the group.
"I'VE GOT IT! Rosalina, don't try to steal the scene because it's my time to shine! Watch this! EXTEND!" Kammy yelled and shot a green wave of magic from her wand that hit the pipe. Everyone watched in amazement as they saw the pipe literally extend both ways up and down. The pipe touched the ground, now allowing much easier access for everyone.
"Wow! Um, you've sure done your, uhh, homework…" Rosalina said, feeling a bit jealous.
"Nice going Kammy! That's our witch pal, folks! Always being useful in every situation even if she is a cranky hag 97.5% of the time!" Bowser Jr. cheered.
"I'm going to take that as a compliment, you little cad," Kammy grumbled.
Everyone managed to easily climb the pole up with no struggle at all, thanks to video game physics/logic, and got onto the platform. Then they entered into Cauldron Keep and walked up to the main land, everyone gazing in awe at the enormous tower that loomed before them.
"Oh my stars…it's even scarier in person…I-I may need a change of underwear pretty soon…" Koops gulped.
"We're also super high up aren't we!? COOL! I can see Death Mountain from here!" Fire Bro exaggerated while peering out into the scenery.
"Alright you guys, be on your toes. Since Grunty is an all-powerful witch, anything can happen. She could cast a spell that will flip the room upside down, or a spell that will magically make a hundred angry rabbits attack us, or worse…a spell that will force us to become her sex slaves!" Bowser gasped. Everyone almost puked in their mouths.
"EW! BOWSER! WHY THE HELL DID YOU HAVE TO SAY THAT FOR!?" Pauline screamed in disgust.
"Oh god…excuse me while I force myself to not picture that now. Um…rainbows! Kittens! Puppies! Bunnies! WAIT NO, I HATE BUNNIES! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Toadette shrilled.
"Bowser…do us all a favor and keep your mouth shut for the rest of this world. Good grief!" Goombario gagged.
"OKAY, ENOUGH! Let's just go in to the tower and get this overwith. Remember guys, stick together," DK advised and led the group inside, all of them incredibly anxious for this undoubtedly chaotic fight that's about to happen.
As soon as they got inside, they all shrieked at what they saw.
The inside of the tower looked nothing like it did in Banjo-Tooie. Lava had replaced the floor with tiles forming a bridge from the entrance area all the way to the land that Grunty was on.
"Welcome everyone, to Grunty's Furnace of Fun! In case you're wondering, yes, this is a quiz show, I'm about to test you on what you know! Should you succeed, you'll get all the prizes you'll need!" Grunty excitedly announced at the opposite end of the room.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! NOT ANOTHER FUCKING QUIZ!" Kazooie had an emotional meltdown, seeing flashbacks of all the hell her and Banjo went through in those quizzes that Grunty forced them to take.
"You have got to be kidding me. This is so stupid! Why don't we just skip all of this crap and go straight to the boss fight!?" Pauline groaned.
"Because the witch bitch wants to see us suffer and waste as much as our time as humanly possible…" Kammy grumbled.
"In order to get the first place prize, you must get at least 13 out of the 15 points, otherwise there will be cries! Second place is this unfortunate-looking cloud chick, where you have to get 11 out of 15 points, otherwise she'll get hit with a brick! Third place prize is a jar of jelly, and you must get 9 out of 15 points, otherwise that stuff is going in my belly!" Grunty explained.
"DID YOU JUST SAY JELLY!? HOW RANDOM YET SO AWESOME! Is there any way we can keep the first and third place prizes but throw the second prize into some torture chamber?" Wario asked.
"WARIO, ZIP IT!" Vivian shushed.
"HEY, I'M STANDING RIGHT HERE, YOU KNOW!" Lakilulu angrily yelled.
"So…how does this all work then? I don't even think all of us can fit on those tiles without going on there one at a time…" Luigi asked.
"I will pick a random player to play the game, while the rest of you will be the audience and watch in shame! The selected player must answer all the questions by his or herself and advance till the end, then they'll collect the prizes based on how many questions they got correct, do you comprehend?" Grunty explained.
"No, I don't comprehend. Can you repeat the rules please because I'm starting to zone out here since I'm so bored and tired," Larry said.
"Oh, so if we pass this little quiz, we'll get all the prizes…INCLUDING the gem? Why do I find that so hard to believe?" Daisy raised a brow.
Grunty snickered. "Let's start! ALAKABOO!"
Suddenly, the entire group, except for one, was raised a few feet and thrown backwards into a bunch of seats that overlooked the entire room above the entrance.
"YOW! Give us a warning next time before you magically toss us backwards because now my back is HURTING!" Yoshi whined.
"Pah! I did that so no one could physically intervene in this, especially those two wannabe witches whose hair and skin have the color of piss!" Grunty spat.
"I am not a witch! You know, you don't have to be so rude all the time! It reflects on the way you look and…ugh, why can't I move my body!?" Rosalina yelled, struggling to move her arms and legs along with the others.
"Hehehe! I cast a spell on you wimps that immobilizes your body, too bad I don't know of a spell that prevents you from talking! And yes, I know that didn't rhyme, but it's hard to keep this up all the damn time!" Grunty said.
"W-wait a second! If they're all up there…and I'm down here…and you're over there…and Cloud Cuckooland is somewhere in the north west quadrant…and McToads is nowhere to be found in this world…does that mean I'm the solo player in the quiz!?" Bombette yelped and started to panic, confusing everyone else since half of what she said had nothing to do with the current situation.
"You are very correct! Now let's get this game rolling cause I'm so hungry I could eat an insect!" Grunty demanded.
"First off, GROSS! Secondly, why me!? What did I do to deserve this!? Why not choose Banjo and Kazooie, they're the ones who have played this before!" Bombette cried.
"Please don't make us go on there…we've been through enough horrendous quizzes in our lifetime…" Banjo gulped.
"ENOUGH! Step on the first tile, or else I'll play Taylor Swift's song 'Style'!" Grunty hissed.
*cricket noises*
"I TOLD YOU THAT IT'S HARD TO KEEP UP THE RHYMING!" Grunty raged.
Bombette sighed, knowing there's no other way out of this, so she stepped on the first tile, which had the Nintendo logo on it.
"The first question has to do with Nintendo games, any Nintendo game ever created! Here it is…what is the name of the protagonist that can generate bombs in his hands and has his own videogame series?" Grunty asked.
"Um…can I use a lifeline?" Bombette asked.
"HUH? This isn't Who Wants To Be A Millionaire, you complete dunce!" Grunty yelled, shaking her head.
"C'mon Bombette! You should know this! This person generates BOMBS! This person may have even generated YOU! Whether that means he did it naturally or mechanically, I have no idea!" Fire Bro suggestively said.
"Are you saying what I think you're saying?" Diddy asked in slight disgust.
"Just because I'm a bomb doesn't mean I know who this bomb person is! Anyone have ideas?" Bombette asked.
"I think I know…err…wasn't it Bomberboy? Or BoomMan? Or Blast-o-guy?" Toad said, thinking very hard.
Bombette gasped, coming up with the answer now.
"It's Bomberman! I remember it now! That guy was soooooo cute! He can use me as one of his bombs anytime!" Bombette winked and giggled, grossing the others out. She went forward to the next tile, which had a picture of an eyeball on it.
"A visual challenge you pipsqueak bomb, tell me what world the picture shows, better stay calm! This is in the Mushroom Kingdom!" Grunty said. The big, black screen behind her then popped up a picture of a creepy woods in the dark, with very tall trees and weird-looking plants.
"IT'S THE LOST WOODS!" Luigi shouted.
"No no no! It's the Forest of Illusion!" Goombella cried.
"Don't listen to them dearie, it's CLEARLY the Woods of Axe Murderers and Crazy Monty Moles!" Flurrie said in confidence.
"ALL OF YOU ARE WRONG! IT IS THE FOREST OF FUNKY-GO-LUCKY CHIRPY BIRDS!" Fire Bro screamed. Everyone shot him a look of confusion.
"Hmm…it does look really familiar…have I been there before? I-I think I have! Is it…Forever Forest?" Bombette anxiously guessed.
"Correct guess! Pah, you got lucky, but you will become a mess!" Grunty wailed. Everyone else cheered and Bombette stepped forward to the next tile, which had a picture of stopwatch on it.
"A mess? Why do you say that for?" Bombette asked with a gulp.
Grunty snickered. "Because this next one will be a doozy! Fail this one, and you'll look like a floozy!"
Bombette suddenly disappeared in a flash, making the others scream in shock.
"HEY! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO HER!?" Diddy yelled.
"Fear not, for she is still okay! Now watch the screen, she must do as I say!" Grunty commanded.
Bombette was transported into a game show-like room in a booth…with three other Clefables all to her left in a booth as well.
"WHAT THE FUCK!? WHAT IS THIS!? WHERE AM I!? IS THIS THE AFTERLIFE!?" Bombette freaked.
"Calm down you metallic piece of trash! The pokemon will visit the place you're in, in a dash! The button in front of you, you must press for how many pokemon you see enter in. You must have good memory and sight, or you will not win! There will be five rounds, and if your number is exact or close to the correct number shown, you win the challenge and won't be thrown…into the lava…just kidding, I had to make that last one rhyme!" Grunty explained the rules.
"Hey, this is from Pokemon Stadium 2! This mini-game is Streaming Stampede! Come up with your own challenges, fatass!" Wendy lashed.
"SHUT IT BEFORE SHE PLACES A HEX ON YOU!" Bowser Jr. hushed his sister.
"Oh boy…all those Clefables are staring at me…I have never felt so uncomfortable in my entire life…" Bombette shook with fear.
The players saw the screen in front of them. It said, "Question 1, 10 points for perfect: PICHU"
"O-okay, I guess I have to count how many Pichus come in then?" Bombette asked herself.
Then, the door opened and in came running a small, spread out group of Pichus. Bombette counted 1…2…3…4 Pichus and pressed her button four times while she heard the Clefables press their buttons but didn't pay attention to how many times they pressed it.
A horn was heard and everyone looked at the screen: "The answer is…4 POKEMON!"
Bombette cheered, getting 10 points while everyone else got 5 since they only counted three.
"Haha! Too easy! You losers better get educated because you can't count for CRAP!" Bombette laughed, feeling on top.
The screen then showed the next one. "Question 2, 10 points for perfect: DUGTRIO"
Dugtrio then popped up from the ground one at a time, a few seconds away from each other, however, Diglett also popped up in various places, confusing the contestants.
"What the hell!? Diglett, get your irrelevant ass out of here! Now I'm all turned around!" Bombette started to panic and pressed the button 7 times, not 100% sure that was the correct answer.
The horn was heard and everyone looked at the screen: "The answer is…SIX POKEMON!"
"Ahhh goddamnit! I HATE YOU DIGLETT!" Bombette cried, receiving only 15 points while the Clefable next to her got the full 10 points, the only one answering it correctly.
The screen showed the next one. "Question 3, 20 points for perfect: DODRIO AND VOLTORB"
"Oh boy, this is going to get a lot harder. Here goes nothing…"
The door opened and in came running and sliding Dodrio and Voltorb. But along with them was Doduo and Electrode and some pokeballs rolling in, confusing the hell out of Bombette. She panicked and pressed the button multiple times up to 19, trying to remember how many Dodrio and Voltorbs she saw. After all the pokemon came in, the Clefables were still pressing the buttons, trying to catch up.
"Aggghhh! That beeping is extremely irritating!" Bombette screeched.
"The answer is…18 POKEMON!"
"NOOOOOOO! I WAS JUST ONE OFF! PLEASE GIVE ME SOME SYMPATHY POINTS!" Bombette squealed, receiving another 5 points while the Clefable next to her was the only who got it correct again.
"Question 4, 20 points for perfect: PIKACHU AND MAGNETON"
"Alright Bombette, pay close attention this time! You NEED to win this!" she said to herself.
The doors opened and in came running Pikachu, Magneton, Pichu, and Magnemite. They came in so fast and in large bunches that Bombette's mind was all over the place again and hit the button quickly up to 22.
"SO…MANY…POKEMON! MY BRAIN CAN'T HANDLE IT!" Bombette cringed while the other Clefables kept beeping their buttons after all the pokemon left, stressing the poor bomb further.
"STOP THAT FUCKING BEEPING!" she exploded (not literally).
"The answer is…20 POKEMON!"
"WHAAAAAAAAT!? OH WHAT THE HELL DO YOU KNOW, YOU'RE A FREAKING COMPUTER SCREEN!" Bombette was now turning red all over.
"Question 5, 40 points for perfect: ALL"
Bombette sweatdropped. "Wh-wh-what do you mean by all!? What's going to happen!?"
The doors opened and every Pokemon you can ever think of came rushing in.
At that point, Bombette has had it. "AAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH! THAT'S IT, I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!" She then launched herself into the Pokemon crowd, doing her Mega Bomb move as soon as she hit the ground, blowing the entire building away along with all the Pokemon.
Everyone dropped their jaw in horror at what they saw on the screen.
"Wow…now that's what you call a Kamikaze!" Wario commented.
Bombette appeared on the same tile she was on before she disappeared. She looked embarrassed.
"Mweeheehee! You little fool! You lost your cool! That's one point you missed, your teammates look very pissed!" Grunty cackled with joy.
"I-I'm sorry guys…I was overwhelmed…" Bombette sighed.
"Well, I WOULD accept your apology, but you didn't take one of those cute Pichus with you, so no can do!" Fire Bro pouted.
"Don't listen to him, it's fine Bombette, it's just one point. Just be more focused from here on out!" Waluigi advised.
"Yeah, it's TOTALLY okay if you don't get enough points to come save me! I-I'm sure I'll find a way out myself…but knowing my luck…fuck no!" Lakilulu pity-partied.
Bombette moved to the next tile, which had a question mark on it.
"Ooooh, this is an interesting one! This question is personal and relates to your group, this should be fun! True or false: Someone's partner has cheated on them for someone else in this room. Once all is revealed, there will be inevitable doom!" Grunty asked in excitement.
Everyone else in the audience turned their heads to each other in concern.
"Oh, that's easy! True! Mario was the one who cheated on Peach for Pauline, but he was under a love spell so it's all okay now!" Bombette quickly answered.
"Correct…even though those aren't the people I was talking about in the question…heeheehee! All I can say, is that this girl did some 'things' with this other guy years ago…while she was still with some other guy!" Grunty snickered, seeing the others with confused and worried expressions bringing her some thrills.
"W-w-wait a second, you mean there's ANOTHER love triangle going on here!? Dixie, it better not be you, I'm seriously shaking in fear!" Diddy panicked.
"IT'S NOT ME, I SWEAR! How could you even say that to me!? That's totally not fair!" Dixie cried.
"Guys, you need to calm down. The witch bitch is playing with us, she's such a freaking clown!" Pauline growled.
"Something seriously tells me she isn't though…I mean she has all these new magic powers so maybe she used it to read our minds and know our secrets in order to put on a good show!" Luigi objected.
"Okay, am I the only one that's noticing that we're all starting to rhyme? What the hell's going on and what's the time? GODDAMNIT, I JUST DID IT!" Larry pointed out and started to freak a bit.
"Doesn't bother me, it's music to my ears! Crap, that didn't rhyme! Uhh…does anyone like key lime?" Lady Sasa asked in desperation to keep up with the time.
"Grunty's rhyming is starting to 'infect' us all, I say. Just continue on with this stupid game before I fall asleep right away," Toadette said in a bizarre way.
"MY TURN! The sun can give you a burn! Everyone goes to school to learn! You get what you earn! You can…uhh…use butter to churn! The newest Super Smash Bros. game is what I…currently yearn!" Fire Bro splurged out a bunch of useless rhymes, not acting so stern.
"ENOUGH! You bitches are driving me nuts! Move on to the next space before I kick all of your butts!" Grunty yelled in frustration.
Bombette stepped onto the next tile, which had an image of a musical note on it.
"Let me guess, you're going to play music and Bombette has to guess what game that music is from? PREDICTABLE!" Parakarry shouted.
Grunty gave an evil grin. "Not quite so, my little flying freak. This is where everyone must participate, so don't be sleek! Music is going to play out of nowhere, and you all must sing along with rhythm and flair! Whoever doesn't sing will get their asses zapped! Then you will be slapped! Then you will be wrapped…in a blanket covered with my nose hairs!"
"EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!" everyone screamed in disgust, almost puking from hearing that.
"While I'm not comfortable with laying on an old crone's nose hairs, I am definitely comfortable with singing and showing off my talents! Come on guys, this could be fun!" Lady Sasa cheered.
"Of course YOU would think it's fun, you nobody! Quit trying to lift up the mood, it ain't working!" Wendy yelled.
"I mean…if we must do this then we have no other choice, right? Come on everyone, let's just get this overwith and sing our brains out," Kooper sighed.
Heavy electro-pop music started playing from nowhere, making everyone nervous.
"Wait a second…I recognize this beat! Everyone, follow my lead!" Lady Sasa cheered and began to sing:
Action-tion, chain r-r-reaction a-action-tion, chain r-r-reaction action-tion!
If you are treated very kindly…then will you become kinder?
BOWSER:
Are you kidding, this bitch is crazy…I've a better chance of being killed by goats!
WENDY:
Damn damn, you're hating me, damn damn, I'm hating you! Let's skip to the fight so I can slash you with my nails!
KOOPS (rapping):
One plus one equals two, so clearly there's dysfunction between me and you. What do you say we blow this joint, and go drive off towards the Kissing Point?
MONA (rapping):
What you just said doesn't even make sense, why the hell are you even rapping, are you that dense? If we're gonna do this, let's not make it cringeworthy then we'll be done and in bliss!
ALL:
Baby, ding-dong! Here we've got a chain reaction!
Koops better not have been talking about Grunty in his rap!
That's so disgusting, does that mean there's some attraction,
Between him and the ugly witch, well isn't that crap?
KOOPIE:
He better not or else I'll hit him with my CHAIN REACTION!
DIDDY:
What the hell is this song even about…are we just singing what's on our minds?
ROSALINA:
Honestly, does it even really matter…we're just trying to score a point and move on!
WARIO:
Damn damn, you're hating me! Damn damn, I'm hating you! I hate everyone in varying degrees!
GOOMBELLA (rapping):
Why is that, tell me what makes you say such complete drat? Nevermind, I'm not even gonna bother, I really wanna know who the hell is your father!
WALUIGI (rapping):
I hope you said that only to make a rhyme, if not, then it's not worth your time. Our life is not for you to know, so let's keep singing and go go go!
ALL:
Baby ding-dong, here we've got a chain reaction!
I'd rather be swimming in that god-awful water!
This is torture, let's fight and skip to the action!
Plus, the lava is making the temperature hotter!
MARIO:
How is any of this considered a CHAIN REACTION?
BIRDO:
Ohhhhh! CHAIN REACTION! HEEEEYYY! THIS BETTER COUNT AS A LINE!
TOAD:
Let go of the negative energy!
PEACH:
OH BABY!
KOOPER:
Try to find your own heart!
DAISY:
ARE YOU READY?
LARRY:
When did this song start to turn into all about peace?
KAMMY:
This line is definitely filler!
BANJO:
Evil can be considered a virus, right?
FLURRIE:
THIS SONG WILL BE A SMASH HIT ALL OVER THE WORLD!
FIRE BRO AND TOADETTE:
Cause one thing leads to another, leads to another, leads to another, heeeeeeeyyyy!
ALL:
Baby ding-dong, here we've got a chain reaction!
I think the song is about to end, oh thank the stars!
This is the worse than the time my leg was in traction!
Hey, wait a second, not all of our legs were in traction!
DIXIE:
Who was it that fucked up their leg…WITH A CHAIN REACTION!?
YOSHI:
Chain r-r-reaction!
BOMBETTE:
OH, THE CHAIN REACTION!
DK:
Chain r-r-reaction!
PAULINE:
OH, THE CHAIN REACTION!
BOWSER JR:
Chain r-r-reaction!
VIVIAN:
OH, THE CHAIN REACTION!
GOOMBARIO:
Chain r-r-reaction!
KAZOOIE:
OH, THE CHAIN REACTION!
PARAKARRY:
Chain r-r-reaction!
JOJORA:
OH, THE CHAIN REACTION!
The music ended and everyone just stared at each other, wide-eyed.
"Um…d-did we seriously just…do…that?" Peach asked in horror.
"I honestly don't know what was scarier; Koops rapping or Fire Bro's crappy attempt at a high note," Kazooie cringed.
"I'm pissed off at the fact that I only got to sing two words!" Yoshi complained.
"Let's just…pretend that the last few minutes never happened, okay?" Toad said while burying his face in his hands.
"Wow…that was…um…quite…mesmerizing…in a good and bad way…" Lakilulu struggled to come up with the words.
Meanwhile, Grunty was laughing her head off. "That song was so bad, but you guys sing and harmonize so good, it was actually kind of rad! Wait…did I seriously just use that word? C'mon Grunty, this isn't the 90's anymore, stop being absurd!"
"C-can we please just move on to the next tile? I'm surprised my ears aren't bleeding…" Goombario said.
Bombette moved to the sixth tile, which had the Nintendo logo on it.
"Another question relating to Nintendo games! Be able to recognize the names! Bandy Andy and KP Pete appeared in what Mario game AND in what location?" Grunty asked.
"Eh? Who the hell are those guys? Are they obsessed fans that bribed Nintendo to put them in the games?" Koopie obnoxiously asked.
"Dude, shut up. That's not even possible," Bowser Jr. answered.
"Those names do sound familiar…err…why do I feel like it's from the Paper Mario series?" Bombette said to herself.
"I think it is, actually. But I'm not 100% sure considering I've met hundreds of characters on each of my zany adventures throughout the years so it's hard to remember specific names," Mario added.
"KP Pete…isn't that a fighter? WAIT, I GOT IT! Those two appeared in Glitzville in Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door!" Bombette answered.
"Grrr…I'll accept it," Grunty unhappily responded. Everyone else cheered.
"Oh, I remember those guys now! They were fighters in the Glitz Pit! Last I heard, Bandy Andy got kicked out for spying on Jolene undressing in one of the locker rooms, and KP Pete made it to the major leagues…only because half the people ranked above him quit to work as security guards at Burger Queen," Goombella said.
"Why does the first one not surprise me?" Vivian shook her head.
Bombette moved to the next tile, which had the eyeball on it.
"Another visual challenge, you annoying bomb! Guess what the name of this character is, better stay calm!" Grunty said and a picture of Link wearing only green boxer shorts, posing seductively in a bed was shown on screen. Everyone screamed in surprise.
"WOAH WOAH WOAH, WHAT THE FUCK!? IS THAT WHO I THINK IT IS!?" Pauline screeched.
"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! MY EYES! I CANNOT UNSEE WHAT HAS ALREADY BEEN SOWN…I MEAN SAWN- I MEAN…OH YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!" Larry cried.
"My goodness, the body on that elf-looking boy is quite splendid! Does anyone know his workout routine…and a phone number too?" Flurrie swooned.
"Great. Now everytime I go see Link at the Smash Bros. tournaments, I'm gonna feel awkward as all hell…knowing what's underneath…" Luigi shivered.
"HAHAHAHAHA! THIS FAT COW HAS A CRUSH ON LINK! WHY ELSE WOULD IT BE HERE!? OH STARS, THIS IS BRILLIANT!" Wario cracked up.
"Well, I guess we now know who Grunty's dream man is…" DK snickered.
"Ooh, that's totally Link in all of his sexiness! I wouldn't mind being on top of that!" Bombette giggled suggestively.
"Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeekkkkk! Uhh, you weren't supposed to see that! WRONG PICTURE, OH DRAT! CHANGE IT, FUCKING CHANGE IT!" Grunty squealed, furiously mashing a button on her board. It switched to a picture of a cute, white rabbit with red ears, a plus sign 'engraved' onto both of its cheeks, and had a red plus sign for a tail.
"Awww how totally cute! I just wanna cuddle with it and dress it up in one of my mini-pink dresses!" Peach grinned.
"Is that supposed to be a pokemon? Cause there's no way in hell that's a Mario character! I have an image of every Mario character I have ever seen, whether it be in real life or on the games, embedded into my brain for life! Yep, my mind is just that good!" Goombario bragged.
"Congratulations on making yourself look like a stalker," Wendy commented.
"Yeah…it's definitely a pokemon…hmm…and I've only played a few of the Pokemon games…I definitely don't think this one appeared in the first two generations…and what is up with those plus signs on its body? I think I've seen that pokemon before, too…yeah, it was in Pokemon Emerald, I remember now! Wait a second…plus…plus…plus? Plus…le? That's it! It's Plusle!" Bombette figured it out.
"Yergh…you are...unfortunately, correct," Grunty said in disappointment. Everyone cheered.
"Yes! That makes six points now, right? And that's the 7th tile, so only 8 more to go! You can do this girl, you're practically halfway done!" Mona yelled in encouragement.
Bombette moved to the eighth tile, which had a stopwatch on it.
"Oh…yay…another challenge for me to horrendously fail at…" Bombette sighed.
"HEEHEE! This is going to be very wild! Everyone participates again, and this challenge won't be so mild! Each one of you will be on a motorcycle, trying to outrace The Bob-omb Motorbikers! If at least one person in your group makes it to the finish line before any of the other Bob-ombs do, you win and rejoice with your crew! Also, you must sing a song while you race them, otherwise no points and a step further away from the gem!" Grunty informed.
Everyone groaned in frustration.
"OH COME ON! I DON'T WANNA SING AGAIN! THIS ISN'T GLEE, YOU HAG!" Bowser spat.
"Wait a second…motorcycles!? Hoo, this could be interesting actually! I'm an expert motorcyclist!" Wario cheered.
"The Bob-omb Motorbikers? Who the hell are they? Are they some wannabe gangbangers in high school?" Birdo asked.
"Whatever you guys do, just PLEASE make sure that Koops doesn't rap again!" Lakilulu wailed.
Everyone was suddenly transported out of the room, onto their own motorcycles. They were on the Ancient Lake course from Diddy Kong Racing.
"Woah! This place sure brings back some memories! All good, bad, and ugly!" Banjo exclaimed.
The group looked all around and saw a bunch of green Bob-ombs mixed in, also on motorcycle.
"What's up, girlies!? We're the Bob-omb Motorbikers! We're gonna smoke ya in this race, then we'll kick your ass, then we'll whip your ass, then we'll burn your ass, then we'll CHOMP your ass!" said one of the bob-ombs. Everyone looked at him, wide-eyed in fear.
"Wow, you must get along with everyone, don't you?" Daisy asked in sarcasm.
"Ugh, let's get this crap overwith. One of them keeps staring at my boobs!" Mona grunted.
"Hey sexy lady, how's about you and me go off behind one of these bushes and make some sweet lovin?" one of the bob-ombs disgustingly asked to Bombette.
"Say one more word to me and I will cut off the one thing you use to 'make' sweet loving!" she threatened.
"3…2…1…GO!" Grunty's voice was heard and everyone set off.
"Come on everyone, let's sing like we all have the glorious voices of Toadiah Carey!" Lady SaSa cheered and then starting singing:
Are you going tonight? Are you feeling alright? If so, let's speed on with our motorcycle!
LUIGI:
Tonight we are, going straight, let's speed on with our motorcycle!
DAISY:
WOW! Who's riding motorcycle?
*Electropop music starts playing*
MARIO:
Hello? Okay! I'm on my way! Step into the fray!
FIRE BRO:
Let's cream these bitches and let's all take them down!
PEACH:
Take this ignition key, put this in drive, we'll run them over!
KOOPIE:
On the street, let's laugh as we watch 'em, watch 'em run!
WALUIGI:
Sometimes Nintendo has no justice, justice!
ROSALINA:
Are you going tonight? Are you feeling like you won't die? If so, let's speed on with our motorcycle!
MONA:
We're gonna get in some deep shi- I mean, trouble!
WARIO:
Tonight we are, going straighter than a rainbow, let's speed on with our motorcycle!
ALL:
Come on baby! Come on baby! Oh no!
KAZOOIE:
Every bad guy wants a piece of my feathery bod'!
ALL:
Ride on baby! Ride on baby! Oh yeah!
BANJO:
We are just psychotic drivers, way to go, woah!
BIRDO:
Are you going tonight? Do I have to ask you twice? Let's speed on with our motorcycle!
YOSHI:
Tonight we are, going to McToads, let's speed on with our motorcycle!
TOADETTE:
Always chasing around, from the tail to nose, so let's speed on with our motorcycle!
TOAD:
With scifi-like acceleration, let's speed on with our motorcycle!
DIXIE:
WHO'S RIDING MOTORCYCLE!?
"Ahahahaha! What the hell is all this!? Is this some Disney song that you morons sing in your downtime?" one of the bob-ombs laughed.
"SHUT YOUR PIEHOLE YOU METALLIC PIECE OF JUNK!" Peach growled and bumped into the bob-omb's motorcycle with such great force that he lost control and crashed into a big rock, then exploded.
DIDDY:
Hello? Okay! Let's just have fun! Alright, show time!
BOMBETTE:
Pink is better than green, if you disagree, I'll stab your toe with a fork!
FLURRIE:
I feel like I'm right in the spotlight! Don't stare too hard!
LARRY:
Can we run over Flurrie too while she pretends she's on a stage?
DK:
This city is our circuit, circuit!
VIVIAN:
Always chasing around, from Toad Town to Viridian City, let's speed on with our motorcycle!
GOOMBELLA:
We're the superheroes of the night, yeah!
BOWSER JR:
With scifi-like acceleration, we'll murder you with our motorcycle!
ALL:
Come on baby! Come on baby! Oh no!
KOOPS:
You guys really think I am, that bad at rapping?
ALL:
Hell yeah baby! Hell yeah baby! Oh yeah!
JOJORA:
We are just psychotic drivers, way to go woah!
"Watch out for that colossal dino! Hit that thing and it's over for you!" Goombella advised.
"Hey Yoshi, look! It's your brother! You should stop and say hi!" Fire Bro recommended.
"Just because he's a dinosaur and green, doesn't mean he's related to me, dum dum!" Yoshi said.
Bombette rode up next to one of the Bob-ombs that hit on her earlier on the right side. "Hey there! I changed my mind about what you said earlier. Wanna see my tattoo that I got on my behind?"
The bob-omb drooled at this. "Oh, do I ever! SHOW ME, SHOW MEEEEE!"
As Bombette was about to expose her 'goodies' Goombario zoomed up to the Bob-omb on the left side, and bashed his motorcycle into the bob-ombs. Bombette slowed down quickly and the bob-omb screamed as he veered off towards the right and got crushed by one of the dinosaur's feet, creating an explosion. Bombette and Goombario gave each other a thumbs up.
BOWSER:
Let's go get those bitches and then we'll burn them down! D-down!
WENDY:
Let's go get those bitches and then we'll burn them down! D-d-d-d-d-d-down!
PARAKARRY:
On the street, we'll shoot 'em with stolen guns and watch 'em watch 'em run! Ru-ru-run!
PAULINE:
On the street, this right here, is our one and only stage!
KOOPER:
Are you going tonight? Answer this damn question, or I'll run you down with my motorcycle!
KAMMY:
Tonight we are, kicking some ass! Let's speed on with our motorcycle!
LUIGI:
I'm tired of chasing around, I wanna go to bed, take me home, my little motorcycle!
DAISY:
This course is longer than I remember, keep speeding with your motorcycle!
DIDDY:
Who's riding motorcycle? Who? WHO? WHOOOOOOOO!?
ALL:
Come on baby! Come on baby! Oh no!
TOADETTE:
All of these bad guys can choke, on Grunty's nose hairs!
ALL:
Ride on baby! Ride on baby! Oh yeah!
YOSHI:
All of us are really worn out drivers, way to go woah!
PEACH:
Are you going tonight? Are you feeling alright? I honestly don't care, I wanna ride my motorcycle!
MARIO:
Tonight we are, going to win, let's speed on with our motorcycle!
LADY SASA:
Is it me or, did we already pass the dino thrice? With our own motorcycle?
GOOMBARO:
Yes we did, with scifi acceleration, let's speed on with our motorcycle!
PAULINE:
Who's riding motorcycle?
Everyone stopped as soon as the song ended, looking at each other in confusion.
"No, but seriously though…I feel like we passed that dino three times already…" Daisy pointed out.
"Mweeheehee! You fools got so into the song, you didn't realize that you already won! The race was over after the first chorus!" Grunty laughed.
"WHAT!? YOU'RE TELLING ME WE JUST SANG A WHOLE FREAKING SONG WHEN WE DIDN'T EVEN NEED TO!? GRAAAAAHHHH! I NEED SOME SLEEP AND TYLENOL PILLS!" Bowser angrily roared.
"Ugh, you got that right. I feel like we've been up and about forever and ever…" Vivian yawned. And it was true, they've all actually been awake ever since they competed in that Pokemon contest, two worlds ago!
Everyone was transported back into the room, at their original spots.
"Seven points you have earned, don't get too cocky, or you'll make your pals concerned!" Grunty warned.
Bombette moved to the ninth tile, which had the question mark on it.
"Ah, another personal question! This one will create some aggression! Who was the one who helped keep Birdo's miscarriage a secret many years ago? Was it…Vivian…Diddy…or Wario?" Grunty asked. Some gasps were heard.
"WHAT THE HELL!? A MISCARRIAGE!? WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN!? WHY DID YOU NEVER TELL ME!?" Yoshi screamed in shock.
"I-It was four years ago! I…was about a month pregnant and, um, I-I wasn't positive that I was pregnant till the day that I miscarried…y-you were away with Mario and Luigi on that vacation to Delfino Island for two weeks a-and I didn't want to ruin your trip. How the hell did you know about that, Grunty!? What are you trying to prove by doing this!?" Birdo cried and started to sweatdrop. The witch just cackled further.
"What is up with those choices, too? I mean…how random…" Goombario noticed.
"Yeah! I had no idea Birdo even miscarried anyways! We aren't even that close so scratch me off of those choices!" Wario freaked.
"Why would you keep this a secret from me for so long? Don't we tell each other everything!? Birdo…miscarrying is no small issue!" Yoshi looked disappointed in her. Birdo FELT disappointed.
Bombette sighed. "I know the answer to this one…this person told me…it was…Vivian…"
"CORRECT!" Grunty confirmed. More gasps were heard.
"Vivian? You were the one that did it!?" DK shrilled.
"Y-yes…when the miscarriage happened…Birdo called me and was crying about what happened on the phone. I went to the hospital to comfort her and I-I told her to keep this a secret from Yoshi b-because he would be devastated if he found out…especially since I know you guys have been trying so hard to have one…I-I'm so sorry! I thought I was doing the right thing!" Vivian started to sob.
Mona put her hand to her mouth. "Vivian…that wasn't your decision to make. You should've stayed out of that business! You had no right!
"Mona is right. How could you, Vivian? I…I thought you were level-headed and trustworthy…maybe not…all these years and now I know…" Yoshi gave her a glare that sent chills down the shadow siren's spine.
"Gotta love the drama! Move on to the next tile so we'll see more emotional trauma!" Grunty jumped for joy.
Bombette moved to the 10th tile, which had another question mark on it.
"Another one of these! Excuse me while I quickly sneeze! ACHOO! Anyways…who was the one that paid Mona to sneak into Bowser's Castle and set fire to their basement? Was it…Mario…Waluigi…or Parakarry?" Grunty asked. Everyone dropped their jaws at this.
"WH-WH-WH-WH-WHAT!? THAT WAS YOU WHO DID THAT!? I THOUGHT SOME SERIAL KILLER WAS IN THE CASTLE WHEN THAT HAPPENED!" Bowser Jr. screeched.
"You…you caused the fire? You destroyed most of the stuff in my basement? You…you…I can't even think of a word to describe you right now…" Bowser seemed to be holding all his anger in.
"Y-you actually did all of that, Mona? You…could've gotten in so much trouble…" Jojora whispered in shock.
Mona hung her head. "Yes…that was me. It was three years ago. I was offered 100 coins to do it…I-I was desperate for money at a brief time back then…p-plus, that was also right after you kidnapped Peach and tried to destroy the world for like the thousandth time so, at the time, I thought it was well deserved karma…"
"You do realize someone could've been killed, right? If that fire spread in the middle of the night while we were all sleeping someone could've gotten killed!" Kammy yelled.
"I'm less sure about this answer but…I think it's Parakarry…" Bombette reluctantly answered.
"…Peh…lucky answer…" Grunty grunted. Gasps occurred again.
"Sigh…let me explain myself. Like Mona said, I was also tired and aggravated that Bowser once again took Peach and attempted to conquer the world. I wanted him to know what it feels like to be scared for your life…however, I was not confident enough to carry out the deed. I talked to Mona about it on Facebook one night, and she was just as enraged as I am, so I made her a deal of setting fire to Bowser's basement and paying her 100 coins to do it. I also told her to make sure that no one was in the basement because I just wanted to scare them, not get them hurt," Parakarry described the whole plan, shocking others.
"YOU STUPID JERKS! I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU FOR THIS!" Larry lashed.
"Holy crap…I never realized how 'dark' some of you guys can really get…" Daisy said.
"People can surprise you all the time, Daisy…" Rosalina said.
"Heehee, the tension is really turning up! So much so that I need to drink the rest of my 7-up!" Grunty squealed and drank the rest of her soda bottle then threw it into the lava.
"HEY! Ever heard of recycling!?" Goombella protested.
Bombette moved to the 11th tile…which had yet another question mark on it.
"Great…more dark secrets to be revealed…" DK groaned.
"An even darker question, be prepared. This one may leave you feeling scared! Who was the person who shoved a kid into a river and drowned, until someone at the scene revived him with CPR before they were found? Was it…Kooper…Wendy…or DK?" asked Grunty. Jaws dropped once again.
"What in the actual hell!? One of you here almost killed someone!? THAT IS SICK!" Koopie almost gagged when she heard the question.
"Why are you doing this to us!? WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO GAIN!? JUST FUCKING STOP! THIS IS TORTURE!" Pauline cried.
"I-I-I-I swear, I have never done anything like that EVER to anyone!" DK yelled, being in shock that he was a choice for this kind of question.
"Neither have I! I know some of you think I'm a jackass, but I swear I would never attempt to drown someone! Please believe me!" Kooper pleaded.
"Y-yeah, um, same here! This question is a joke! Quit making shit up!" Wendy yelled with a very worried expression.
Bombette had to choose someone. She didn't want to believe any of them could do something so vicious, but if she wanted to continue, she had to choose someone.
"Ugh…okay…I obviously don't know the answer to this one, and it's becoming obvious that this witch bitch is trying to create drama rather than making this fairer for us…so…um…I guess…Wendy?"
A few of them widened their eyes and looked to Wendy. The koopa girl gulped.
"…Another lucky guess!" Grunty happily announced. Everyone shrieked.
"WHAT!? WENDY…WHEN THE HELL DID THIS HAPPEN!? TELL ME EVERYTHING NOW!" Bowser exploded, feeling a humongous mix of emotions right then and there.
"SHE'S LYING! IT NEVER HAPPENED! JUST KEEP GOING WITH THIS STUPID GAME!" Wendy started to cry. Everyone got the feeling she was lying.
"Actually dad…it's true. Three years ago, me and Wendy were taking a walk along Mushroom River, on our way back home from eating at some fast-food place for lunch. We saw a kid fishing and as we passed by him, he made fun of us because he recognized us as being your kids. He called us stupid and ugly and said we had no future. Wendy, of course, got really mad so she ran up to the kid and pushed him into the river. I screamed and saw the kid struggling to stay afloat. B-but I was scared to go in the river cause I couldn't swim well and neither could Wendy. W-we both thought that there was no way he was going to drown, but he…stopped coming up to the surface. Me and Wendy freaked out even more so we both HAD to go in there and rescue him. We both grabbed the kid a-and barely made it back to land. I tried doing CPR on him, even though I had no experience and neither did Wendy. It took a few minutes before he came to, so we were relieved that he was still alive, but it wasn't over. He blew up at us and threatened to tell the police but we begged him not to…he said that he won't tell anyone if we gave him all of our money. So we did. And we never saw him again…" Bowser Jr. explained.
"Woah…well…to be kinda brute, that kid wasn't completely innocent either. It wasn't right for him to insult you like that out of nowhere. But still…violence doesn't anything…" Birdo said.
"I agree with Birdo. That kid could've died if you guys were just a few seconds late…hell, he could've died by hitting his head on a rock from being pushed!" Goombario added.
Bowser glared at his two kids. "You…you guys kept this from me all this time…why? Why!?"
"Because we had it all handled, okay!? It was a mistake, I paid for it, we moved on! I'm not proud of it so don't think that I don't feel guilty to this day!" Wendy shouted, trying not to look at her dad in fear of seeing him angry or disappointed in her.
"Damn…that's probably the biggest secret you've ever kept from me, Wendy…I can only wonder what other dark secrets you guys are hiding…" Larry sighed frustratingly.
"Alright alright! Enough with the judging! The past is the past! Can we please continue on with the game so we can get our gem and leave this dump?" Waluigi asked impatiently.
Bombette moved to the 12th tile. It had the Nintendo logo on it and everyone let out a sigh of relief.
"The game 'Mischief Makers' starred a young and strong girl named Marina, and had some antagonist ditz that copied her style and moves who was named Calina. What was the name of the very last boss you fought in the game? Since this game is lesser known, I'll give you three choices: Beastector, Emperor, or Phoenix Gamma?" Grunty asked. Everyone had a blank stare.
"Mischief Makers? Wow! Talk about a blast to the past! Haven't played that game in years, truly an underrated gem. But…uh…wow…totally stumped on this one," Goombario said in worry.
"Those choices don't help at all, my dear! You made this quite difficult on purpose, didn't you? Ugh, you are more annoying than all of my 100,000 haters combined!" Flurrie snapped.
"100,000? I thought it was 1,000,000?" Parakarry said.
"Yeah, I have no clue about this one either. Has anyone here ever played Mischief Makers besides Goombario?" Mario asked.
"I have! But, um, it was years ago and I don't remember much of it…sorry…" Koops sighed.
"I've played it too and I recognize the names but I seriously can't remember what the name of the last boss was…uhh…hmm…maybe try Phoenix Gamma?" Diddy said, not feeling too confident.
"I don't like how unsure you sound! I've never played the game so I-I'm clueless too! You couldn't have asked another question about Bomberman!?" Bombette panicked.
"Bombette, none of us know the answer so…just go with Phoenix Gamma. It's okay if you get it wrong, you still have one more shot left," Daisy reassured.
The bomb sighed, not wanting to be a step closer to losing the gem. "Fine…Phoenix Gamma?"
"Wrong wrong wrong, you dolt! Heeheehee! It was Beastector!" Grunty snickered with joy. Everyone groaned.
"Well whatever! We still have one more chance left! Keep the game rolling, Tubba Blubba!" Kooper giggled.
"Kooper, calling 'it' Tubba Blubba is an INSULT to Tubba Blubba himself," Dixie also giggled.
"ENOUGH! The next tile you must move to now, or else I'll crush all of you with a humongous cow!" Grunty threatened. Bombette moved to the 14th tile, which had a stopwatch on it.
"Oh great, here we go again! What kind of 'gnarly' mini-game are you gonna force us to do now?" Bowser Jr. pouted.
"You'll be facing the Bob-omb motorbikers again…except this time, they're chasing you! It's on the same course as before, too! Don't let them take down even one of your buddies and you will win! Oh, and another requirement…you must sing another song as soon as you begin!" Grunty explained, receiving more joy from their irritated groans…except for one.
"AWESOME! Another chance for me to show off my flawless singing skills! Come on everybody! Prepare your vocals!" Lady Sasa instructed.
"Screw you!" Kammy growled.
Everyone was transported back to the Ancient Lake course and they were on their motorcycles. They all looked behind and saw the Bob-omb Motorbikers a few feet away from them.
"What up, kiddies? Ready to get your faces mangled by our tires?" said one of the Bob-ombs.
"Ooh, I wonder if they're gonna sing a Disney song while we run them down!" laughed another Bob-omb.
"Hey, who's the hunky monkey guy? Can I get your number before we start, please!?" yelled another Bob-omb.
"Uhh, I appreciate the offer but 1. I don't swing that way and 2. I hate you and the rest of your wannabe gangbanger's guts," Diddy told the absolute truth.
"I wasn't talking to you, dumbass! There is nothing 'hunky' about you! I was talking to the other monkey with the toned muscles and perfect jawline!" the bob-omb started to drool.
"Okay, can we just start this stupid race before my head explodes!?" Toadette whimpered.
"3…2…1…GO!" Grunty's voice was heard and everyone set off once again.
"What do you think we'll sing this time? I really hope it's something like all about that bass, about that bass, no treble!" Fire Bro sung.
"HELL NO! ANYTHING BUT THAT, PLEASE!" Kazooie shrieked.
EDM music started to play and everyone naturally followed Lady Sasa's lead.
*boom* *boom* *boom* *boom*
LADY SASA:
Did it! Yes, I did sell
Did it! A million albums
Did it! On my last record
*boom* *boom* *boom* *boom*
MONA:
Did it! Stop plugging your music
Did it! Into this stupid song
Did it! Are you a cokehead?
*boom* *boom* *boom* *boom*
TOADETTE:
Right now, I am craving sleep, chocolate milk, and something to eat
I'm so hungry I could eat this motorcycle handle!
*boom* *boom* *boom* *boom*
DIXIE:
Hold on there just a little bit longer now, my dear friend
We haven't exterminated the witch bitch just yet!
*boom* *boom* *boom* *boom*
JOJORA:
My heart's racing, that's right! It's faster than light! No stopping tonight!
WENDY:
I'VE GOT A FEELING!
PAULINE:
This is a new me, take me seriously, right now I have to pee!
DAISY:
I'm going to find my heart! My heart! My heart!
ROSALINA:
I'm going to find my heart! My heart! My heart!
VIVIAN:
Catch me if you can!
*EDM breakdown*
KAMMY:
Catch us if you can!
PEACH:
Catch Lakilulu if you can!
"HEY! DON'T THINK I CAN'T SEE YOU GUYS FROM THIS LAVA ROOM!" Lakilulu growled, watching the event.
"You wanna find your hearts? Alright then, give me a knife, I'll cut out your hearts, then I'll stash it somewhere and make you go find it!" yelled one of the bob-ombs.
"EWWWWW! STOP BEING MORBID AND DISGUSTING YOU PSYCHOPATH! Did your parents not love you enough or something!?" Dixie asked.
YOSHI:
This place seems very peaceful
We should all move here someday
And start our very own colony!
*boom* *boom* *boom* *boom*
KOOPS (rapping):
And live here with that scary dinosaur? It also seems like such a chore! I don't wanna do this anymore! Can someone find me a door? Did you know my favorite number is four?
"KOOPS! STOP RAPPING!" everyone else yelled while cringing.
*boom* *boom* *boom* *boom*
WARIO:
Come on guys, catch up to me now you are all very slow!
If this were a true race, I would've gotten first place!
*boom* *boom* *boom* *boom*
DK:
Shut up man, we know that you have motorcycle skills
Ooh, I see a sexy banana on a tree! I MUST GRAB IT!
*boom* *boom* *boom* *boom*
TOAD:
Hold on there monkey, this beat is funky, let us all be spunky!
BOWSER JR:
I'VE GOT A FEELING!
MARIO:
Stay there in your seat, can't be in defeat, those guys we must beat!
LUIGI:
I'm going to find my heart! My heart! My heart!
KOOPER:
We're going to kick your ass! Your ass! Your ass!
FIRE BRO:
Catch me if you can!
*EDM breakdown*
WALUIGI:
Catch us if you can!
BOWSER:
Catch my gas if you can!
Bowser, being the furthest behind the heroes, let out a huge fart that blinded the Bob-ombs.
"WOAAAAAAAAAHHHHH! HOLY SHIT! WHAT IS THAT GODAWFUL STENCH! IT SMELLS LIKE DEAD GOOMBA COMBINED WITH DRAGON POO!" screamed one of the bob-ombs in bloody murder. He lost control of his motorcycle and crashed into another bob-omb, which in turn, made them crash into a few more bob-ombs, causing an explosion. The explosion blew away a nearby Bob-omb who accidentally rammed into two Bob-ombs, who all crashed into the lake.
The heroes all looked behind them at the scene in amazement and disgust.
"I'm not sure whether to thank you or to puke all over the place right now," Koopie said, trying to ignore the nasty smell.
"Heehee! That's our dad! Always unleashing the good stuff!" Bowser Jr. cheered.
"If that's what you consider good, then I'd hate to know what you consider to be bad…" Goombella commented.
FLURRIE:
Tell me what you think of me! Am I hotter than sun?
PARAKARRY:
Do you really want us to answer that? Start living in the real life!
BIRDO:
I just cannot stop…
DIDDY:
I'VE GOT A FEELING!
LADY SASA:
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! HEAR MY POWERFUL VOCAAAAAAAAALS!
KOOPIE:
I'm going to find my heart! My heart! My heart!
FIRE BRO:
My heeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrt!
LARRY:
I'm going to find my heart! My heart! My heart!
TOAD:
I'm going to find MY heart! In case you didn't hear it enough the first time!
GOOMBELLA:
Catch me if you can!
*EDM breakdown*
BANJO:
Catch us if you can!
KAZOOIE:
Catch my feathery ass if you can!
GOOMBARIO:
Can't catch me, I'm the gingerbread man!
BOMBETTE:
CATCH ME IF…oh screw it, you've already failed!
ALL:
CATCH ME IF YOU CAN!
The gang finished their third lap, successfully evading the other Bob-ombs. Kammy turned around and shot a ray blast from her wand and it hit one of the Bob-ombs, causing a massive explosion and managed to make the other Bob-ombs explode too.
"Now…why the hell didn't you do that while we were actually still racing?" Waluigi asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Err…I guess I was really into that song! I was this close to shaking what my momma gave me!" Kammy giggled.
"Oh god, PLEASE don't put that imagery in our heads…AGAIN," Toad said in disgust, remembering that she said the same thing in The Thousand Year Door.
"I love EDM. It's very sad that it's not as popular as it used to be nowadays, but oh well, sucks for those mainstream losers!" Parakarry ranted.
"Oh, please shut up. You would hate EDM if it was still popular in the mainstream media. We all know how you think by now," Bombette dished the truth to him and everyone nodded. Parakarry sighed in sadness.
Everyone was transported back to the lava room right as they were.
"Good job, I must say! Another point you won, so here you still stay! However, it was almost ruined by the rapping, and that god-awful adlib high note by the deranged fire guy was not smashing!" Grunty criticized.
"Yeah, seriously, no more rapping from now until the end of humanity, Koops! We mean it! And quit trying to show off your vocals, Fire Bro! You sound like a dying cat!" Kazooie also criticized.
"UGH! What gives you the right to judge me like that!? Where is your Grammy award, feather girl!?" Fire Bro hissed.
"ALRIGHT, STOP! Please, just keep your nerves calm! I'm on the last tile now!" Bombette snapped, stepping onto the 15th tile. It had the 'BK' logo on it.
"Ah, a person question that has to do with me! This may look familiar to some of you, just wait and see! Remember before you lose, what type of toothpaste do I use? Salted slug, moldy cheese, or tuna ice cream?" Grunty asked. Everyone gagged when they heard the question.
"O-o-o-o-o-oh my g-god…I just pictured someone brushing their teeth with moldy cheese…all of your choices are freaking disgusting! URP! Oh shoot…I really hope I don't puke…" Daisy panted.
"I feel like all of those choices could be correct! We're at a loss!" Diddy cried.
"Have you gone to the dentist recently, dearie? It really sounds like your teeth are at most unhealthy and I imagine that any poor soul would have to be taken to the hospital just by taking a small whiff of your breath," Flurrie spoke with some care.
"I remember this question, you asked us this at the Furnace of Fun! I can't remember what the answer was, though…Kazooie? Any ideas?" Banjo asked.
"Hell if I know! Just choose all of them! I know for a fact that the witch bitch tried all of them at least once in her life!" Kazooie accused in disgust.
"Well then, it looks like everybody is either clueless or trying not to vomit…or most likely both. So…um…I guess I'll choose tuna ice cream!" Bombette answered.
Grunty squealed in surprise. "YOU…THAT'S…CORRECT! YOU GOT 13 OUT OF 15 POINTS! YOU WIN ALL THREE PRIZES!"
Bombette hollered and jumped for you and everyone else clapped and gave a huge sigh of relief.
"No no no no no no no! How could this be!? How could you triumph my quiz of chaos and doom so easily!?" Grunty cried and banged her head on her scoreboard multiple times.
"Well, how about the fact that your questions and challenges absolutely sucked? Seriously, quit trying to be a game show host. Your peak is over. It's not your destiny," Larry brutally answered.
"Now you bitches can take the prize on show, while up the winding stairs I go!" Grunty said and ran off to the staircase on the right.
The spell that made everyone mostly immobilized wore off and everyone that was in the 'audience seats' quickly jumped off and ran across the tile bridge over to the other side where the prizes were.
"Finally! Now let's take the gem and get out of here already! I still can't believe she put ME as second prize though!" Lakilulu complained.
"GIMME MY JELLY!" Wario stormed past everyone and swiped the jar of jelly, then began to lick the whole thing clean.
"Umm…so on to more important stuff! The gem! We finally have it!" DK cheered and went up to go grab it, but his hand went through it. He almost screamed and everyone else witnessed this too.
"WHAT THE!? Another fake? DAMNIT! I should've known that hag would've tried to pull another one on us after we won!" Mario yelled in frustration.
"Well, we have to go after her then! We're not letting her get away with that gem! And if we must…we'll destroy her in the process! COME ON!" Daisy yelled and led the group upstairs.
EOC.
Woo! This chapter was a real toughie to write. Yeah, this is the musical chapter that I talked about in Chapter 50. It's not really as 'musical' as I planned it out to be, but I think that's okay cause I'm pretty sure a lot of people aren't into musicals on here, lol. There was also supposed to be another song that the group was going to sing, but I feel like it would fit better in the next chapter or the chapter after that. After that song, there will be no more singing from the whole cast. Next chapter is the boss battle, and there will be magic tricks galore! Oh, and I'm halfway done with the new chapter for Mario Party Deluxe, so please be patient with that!
