"Hello everyone and welcome back to the Variety Show. I am your host, Lady Bow and this is my co-host, Ludwig Koopa," Bow said calmly, having bandages all over her from the last episode. The entire set looked destroyed from the fire.

"Zis is unfortunately going to be ze last episode you'll see of us, because, well, to put it simply…everything is fucked up. Ze set is practically gone, very few people are bothering to donate coins to us, we've ran out of ideas for ze challenges and for torturing ze contestants…yeah, I know, pretty crappy, huh? I give you all permission to throw tomatoes at us if you must!" Ludwig sighed.

"No no no! Don't listen to him! He's just kidding! Wait…why the hell am I worried? I could just turn invisible! Um, anyways, we've done all we could to broadcast to the world that Mushroom City is in dire need of help and money. So, uhh, blame all the greedy billionaires for the state that this city is still in! Save those tomatoes, find a billionaire, and throw it at them instead!" Bow exclaimed.

"Uhh…yeah, what she said. I guess. However, do not be let down! Once Mushroom City is repaired, we will pitch ze idea of a true 'Variety Show' to however many TV companies we can find! So, zis won't technically be ze end, just an, um, extremely long hiatus zat may take many years!" Ludwig nervously laughed.

"Yeah! And we'll make sure that your favorite Mario characters AKA the overrated ones like Mario, Luigi, Peach, Daisy, Yoshi, and Rosalina will appear on that show! I mean, let's face it, without any of those guys on, the viewers wouldn't care to watch it and would rather watch 'Game of Hoes' or 'Pink Is the New Gray' instead," Bow spat.

"You're damn right about that! I would demand that Luigi be on every single episode or else I will go to the TV Studios and annoy the crap out of them and paste posters of Luigi shirtless all over the walls!" Toadia yelled from the audience.

"Why does that not surprise me at all? But…uhh, yeah, that is definitely the first thing me and Ludwig will do once Mushroom City retains its former glory! By the way, scooting over to a random side topic real quick…I found these stack of coins in one of the bathrooms here. Who wants it?" Bow asked, holding the stack of coins in the air. Everyone dropped their jaw and started begging for her to give the coins away.

"Well…TOO BAD! IT'S MINE, BITCHES! GWAHEEHAHA!" Bow laughed, shocking everyone else and then giving her death glares. "Just kidding! Here, you get a coin, you get a coin, you get a coin…YOU ALL GET COINS! MWAHAHAHA!" she laughed crazily as she threw the coins everywhere to the crowd. People started fighting and dogpiling on each other to snag them.

"Wow. Zey are fighting like actual insane monkeys. Pathetic. Anyways, remember ze poll I talked about two episodes ago? How you can call us to vote for your favorite character ever in order for zem to receive a very rare prize and a special appearance on a TV show? Well, I have ze results! Are you all ready!?" Ludwig excitedly announced. The crowd got hyped up for the results.

"Since over one hundred characters received at least one vote, I will only reveal the top twenty otherwise we'd be here till morning and right now, I'm craving some sleep and sweet dreams about lying on top of glazed donuts! LET'S GET STARTED! Coming in at number 20 with 1,477 votes is…King Boo!" Ludwig said.

*Dead silence*

"…Okay then…not exciting enough, I presume. With 1,589 votes, number 19 belongs to Wario!" Ludwig continued.

"EWW! Who the hell would vote for that gross and obese pig!?" Toadia gagged.

"Um…I would…yeah, Wario is one of my favorites actually…" Bow shyly admitted.

"Nothing wrong with zat, my fellow boo. It's okay to have low standards. Number 18 with 1,666 votes is Toadette!" Ludwig continued.

"WAHOO! UNDERDOG POWER!" yelled a fanboy.

"Aww, how cute! Toadette has an obsessed fan! I'm so not jealous! Number 17 with 1,700 votes is Goombella," Ludwig playfully rolled his eyes.

"Can you do these a little faster? I mean, let's face it, no one really cares about who makes it under the top ten! Am I right or am I right?" Bow said impatiently. Some cheers were heard.

"Ugh, FINE! You're all so irritating! Number 16 with 1,795 votes is Paratroopa. Number 15 with 1,856 votes is my fabulous brother, Larry Koopa! Number 14 with 1,999 votes is Koops. Unlucky Number 13 with 2,015 votes is, ironically, my dad, Bowser! Number 12 with 2,089 votes is Birdo. Number 11 with 2,129 votes is Vivian. HAPPY NOW!? ARE YOU SATISFIED!?" Ludwig blew a fuse at the end.

"Yes we are. Now for the results that ACTUALLY matter! Go, bluey!" Bow cheered.

"Whatever…the Number 10 spot belongs to Waluigi with 2,222 votes. Fun fact: Purple is Waluigi's favorite color," Ludwig said.

*Dead silence*

"Wow. If that wasn't the most obvious thing I've ever heard…" Bow commented.

Ludwig ignored her and continued. "Number 9 with 2,304 votes is Diddy Kong. Fun fact: He likes bananas!"

*More dead silence*

"Okay? The grass is green and the sky is blue, though sometimes orange if it's sunrise or sunset. We already know this!" Bow grunted.

Ludwig snickered. "Number 8 with 2,397 votes is Rosalina. Fun fact: She is obviously a clone version of Princess Peach, except she's emo!"

*Dead silence continues*

"Ludwig…what the hell are you doing? Like…seriously, this is getting to be kinda bizarre," Bow cringed at the koopa's odd comments.

"More like bizarrely awesome! Lucky Number 7 is Toad with 2,451 votes. Fun fact: His voice is annoying as hell!"

Some side chatter actually occurred then, with some commenting in agreement.

"Well…that's debatable. By the way, did we seriously get that many votes in!? Why do I find this so hard to believe!?" Bow demanded some answers.

Ludwig ignored her and kept going. "Number 6 with 2,599 votes is the hunky Donkey Kong! Fun fact: He does NOT do steroids!"

Some fangirls were heard wooing and cheering throughout the crowd.

"Excuse me while I fan myself! Just even thinking about that sexy ape drives me wiiiiild!" Bow swooned.

"I know, right!? Does anyone know if DK has done any modeling before? He is faaaaaaaaab!" Fly Guy shouted in excitement.

*Dead silence occurs once again with everyone staring awkwardly at the propeller head*

"Um…okay zen…moving on…Number 5 at 2,640 votes is Princess Daisy! Fun fact: Her dress is ze same color as ze sun!" Ludwig kept it going.

"Do you think we're stupid or something? This is a serious question. You've been spouting off incredibly obvious 'fun facts' for no reason now," Bow said.

Ludwig kept ignoring her. "Number 4 at 2,913 votes is Princess Toadstool Peach! Fun fact: She was kidnapped three times in one day a while ago!"

"Well…that's not really surprising, so therefore, another stupidly obvious fun fact. Why the hell do you keep ignoring me!?" Bow barked.

"Number 3 at 3,698 votes is Yoshi! Fun fact: The Yoshi race has all the colors of the rainbow!"

*More dead silence*

"…You're having too much fun with this, aren't you?" Bow rolled her eyes.

"Aaaaaaaand number 2 with 5,001 votes is…

LUIGI! Fun fact: He is Mario's brother!"

The crowd gasped and dropped their jaws.

"WHAT!? HOW IN THE TENTH LEVEL OF HELL DID LUIGI GET SECOND!? THAT MEANS STUPID MARIO GOT FIRST! UGGGGGGGHHHHHHH! LIFE IS SO UNFAIR!" Toadia raged.

"Wow…I, um, didn't see that coming, honestly!" Bow yelped.

"Now…for first place…with 7,004 votes…this person, who will get the rare prize and TV appearance is…

…ME! LUDWIG KOOPA!" He announced shockingly.

More gasps were heard, this time they were louder.

"WHAT!? B-BUT WHAT ABOUT MARIO!? HOW THE HELL IS HE NOT EVEN ON THAT LIST!? WHAT IS GOING ON HERE!? DID WE JUST ENTER AN ALTERNATE DIMENSION!?" Bow screamed in surprise.

"Mario isn't on here because he is ze default option, meaning zat whoever voted for him will not count since he is everyone's favorite hero and is ze ultimate star of ze series. So, therefore, all his votes will go to me because I'm ze one who created zis poll zhing!" Ludwig explained. Angry shouts and curse words immediately followed.

"HUH? That doesn't even make any sense! That's it, I've had enough of your BS! EVERYONE, ATTACK THIS MONSTER!" Bow commanded and the entire crowd chased after Ludwig throughout the building like an angry mob.

Bow stayed behind and picked up Ludwig's cue card that had the results listed on it with some other stuff.

"Huh…WOW! So…the total amount of votes we received for the hundreds of characters people voted was 102,555! Holy gravestone! So, that makes the current coin count…" Bow shrieked and floated up to the coin board. She calculated and pressed the button, turning the coin count from 995,991,000 to 995,888,445.

"…Wow. When you actually look at it, that's really not that much of a big difference. Well…it's better than nothing I guess…" Bow sighed in sadness. If she actually had the billion coins with her, repairs on Mushroom City would get started immediately and things would be back to normal much sooner. But since she didn't, it all seemed like a hopeless and empty dream to her.

Just as she was about to leave the room, one of the phones started ringing. Bow jumped, and immediately turned back around.

"What the?" she whispered and quickly floated over to the ringing phone. She picked it up.

"Hello?"

"Hi there. This is Fox McCloud speaking. Is the variety show that airs on Channel 64?"

"F-FOX? Err, um, yes! You are correct! Why are you calling, i-if I may ask?"

"Something has happened to me recently. I remember a lot of things now. I heard about what happened to your city and I can't help but feel so much remorse for you guys."

"Aww thank you! But, what do you mean you remember a lot of things now? Are you implying that you were on drugs?"

"No no no! Me and my team, we were…ugh, it's a long story. But I found out what happened to you guys and I spread the news all over Corneria. Many people have pitched in and the total amount that I have received from the donations is 400,000,000 credit marks which, in your guys' currency, is 800,000,000 coins!"

Bow almost fainted when she heard that.

"WHA-WHA-WHA-WHA-WHA-WHAAAAAAAAT!? YOU…THEM…IT…THAT…I…ME…YOU…THEY…THE…HUUUUUUUH!? THIS IS A JOKE, RIGHT? YOU'RE BEING SERIOUS?"

"I am 100% serious! I'll be in the Mushroom Kingdom tomorrow morning to transfer the money into coins and give you all of it afterwards. Meet me at that news building you guys are in at 11 AM, okay?"

"OF COURSE, OF COURSE, OF COURSE! Y-Y-Y-You are a life saver, Fox! The people of Corneria are sooooooooo much nicer and selfless than these jerkwads of the Mushroom World! May the Star Spirits, the Gods of Hyrule, and all the other deities and Gods out there bless your soul to infinity and beyond!" Bow exclaimed.

"Hehe, thanks. Now…I must be going. I shall see you tomorrow and I also hope to chat with Mario and the rest of his gang if I get the chance to. Sayonara!"

"Bye bye! Thanks so much, Fox! You rock!"

Bow slammed the phone and started to squeal in joy and dance around.

"YES YES YES! This makes the coin count at 195,888,445 now! But…that's still a lot of money left to obtain. I…alright. I'm gonna spend my life savings to save this city and I'm gonna sell that mansion. That won't be enough to make it zero, but it's better than nothing. I have to do this for the greater good of this country! For the citizens! FOR LIFE! WOOOOOOOOOO!" Bow cheered louder than she ever did before and zoomed out of the building, leaving this episode on a high note.

EOC.

You're all going to hate me for this, but…I honestly don't think the Variety Show really fits in with this story, especially since my current goal is to make the rest of this story a whole lot darker. Plus, I was stuck for days trying to figure out what the hell I was gonna come up with to make this an entertaining chapter. That, combined with the fact that I was getting kinda impatient to get to writing the next chapter because that's where much action will take place lol.

However, fret not for I will 'spin off' this Variety Show into its own story. I truly do think this type of 'show' could work a thousand times better as its own fanfic. So, this definitely isn't the end of this variety show. More information about this will be seen in my profile.

Next chapter will be total madness. Guns, magic, bombs, and blood galore!