Alexis: Home for the holidays, part 3

The lights of the tree, and those hanging across the walls, twinkled in the winter afternoon of the loft. They emphasised that it was neither early afternoon nor evening, a time which could seem to hang for eternity, like dusk or twilight. Alexis brushed the Christmas tree pines as she rounded it deep in thought. Erin had shared more with her than with anyone else, it seemed. How much could, or should she share with her father? She had promised Erin she can keep secrets but there is also something called ethics. She didn't like being in this ambiguous situation. She scratched her red ponytail, the band tight on the back of her head.

Beckett stood in the kitchen by the kettle, lightly leaning on the counter. Her father, in a blue open collared shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, skipped around her as if about to catch her, hovering and crowding her space. She gently extended an arm to his chest and pushed him away. She didn't look good; Alexis had never seen her without makeup, and she wore a purple yoga top slung over one shoulder and a pair of her father's pyjama bottoms loose enough to cover the cast. Her hair was messily scrunched up with many wayward strands falling in different lengths around her neck.

They stopped joshing as they noticed her.

'Hey, Alexis,' Beckett smiled. Her voice was weary, but she produced a full smile. Alexis sensed her effort and felt acutely aware of her father's concern over possible concussion and frowned. It was only a week since the accident, and she remembered from work experience that concussion could take days to appear.

'Hey, Beckett. How are you?'

'Oh, I'm fine, Alexis, everyone seems to worry so much, there's no need.' Beckett looked over her shoulder at her father giving him what she imagined to be a pointed look. With the back of Beckett's head to her, Alexis caught her father's gaze and widened her eyes and clenched her lips with a swift tiny double nod to the side to encourage him to jump on the moment. As Beckett turned back to face her, Alexis slipped her features back into neutral and her father violently knitted his eyebrows together and shook his head behind Beckett's back.

Alexis sighed.

'I've just been speaking to Erin. We all need to talk.'

Beckett and Castle exchanged a worried look. Her father wasn't going to take the hint and get the ball rolling so she would have to be the one to do it.

'From where I'm standing everyone in this family has a different perspective on things and no one is telling each other their point of view. Beckett, I think Dad has something he should tell you, but I would like to say something first.' She waved her hand to the sofa inviting them both to sit down while she sat in the armchair to one side. They sat upright (as much as Beckett could hold herself upright; she half leaned against Castle although she tried to look as though she wasn't using him to keep herself propped up) side-by-side like two naughty children dragged to the head teacher's office.

'Beckett, Kate. I would like to say I'm sorry.' To her credit Kate barely reacted; it was hard enough anyway admitting this. Alexis held her head high and pulled back her shoulders. 'I have been rude to you. I was angry and I took it out on you. It was a lot to learn you had moved in with my dad. But I know that you love him and if he can trust you then so can I.' As she said it out loud, she felt her shoulders lighten just a little more.

Beckett stretched across the couch, her father steadying her at her waist, and reached for her hand and squeezed it as she gave her a teary smile.

'Alexis, I don't know what to say. You don't have to apologise; I know this situation must be difficult for you. And you're not the adult here, we are.'

'No, I know that, but I am legally an adult and as I say I think we all need to talk a bit more.' She looked at Castle who stared back with a churlish face. 'Dad, don't you think you need to tell Kate something?' She adopted the assertive tone she had used so many times throughout her life with him.

Castle slit his eyes and gave Alexis an I'll get you later for this look and turned to Kate who now looked at him, her large eyes questioning. She seemed reinvigorated, with more energy than before, her back straighter.

Castle brushed a hand through his hair and cricked his neck. 'Kate, honey. I know you think the injury wasn't that bad, but do you know why Gates extended your time off?'

The defensive Kate that Alexis had rarely seen suddenly appeared: fired up and eye-rolling. She crossed her arms and shifted away from Castle. Alexis tried not to laugh: Kate was stroppy.

'Because she's overly cautious and-'

Castle interrupted, his voice high with exasperation: 'You nearly told her that you live here and that we're a couple! I had to jump in and explain you were only staying here because of your injury. She now thinks I'm the Mad Cat Man because I said they were all mine!'

'I did not!'

'Yes. You did,' he countered, his voice high enough only dogs could hear the final letter. 'You probably have a concussion and it's not that serious in the end but you're in compete denial that you're anything other than 'fine'!'

Alexis watched as Kate ground her teeth, her jaw working as her eyes darted as she thought it through. 'Okay,' she said firmly, apparently accepting his claim of suspected concussion. 'So why didn't you say anything before? Why has it taken Alexis to get you to talk to me.' She lowered her voice as if to hide from Alexis, turning her head further away: 'I thought we talked about this, about being open with each other.'

'I know,' he whined. 'But you have been acting as though the accident was less intentional than it was.' He dropped his voice too and leaned closer to her, his forehead almost touching hers. 'I didn't know if maybe that was because you didn't want to deal with being shot at again, I didn't want to trigger a PTSD incident for you.'

Kate sniffed deeply and looked back over her shoulder at Alexis and scooched away from Castle.

Addressing them both, she spread her arms and her palms wide. 'I appreciate that you might be worried about that, but I promise you, I am fine. I'm not going to break.' Castle looked sceptical. Kate took his hand. 'I promise, I have done the therapy, I can deal with guns at work, I wouldn't be able to do my job if I didn't.' Alexis had the feeling she and her father were being spoken to like they were the children.

'Did it occur to you that I'm trying to downplay it so that Erin isn't so upset? That this whole…incident is very distressing for her.'

Well, at least Kate had worked that out.

Her father looked across to her: 'Did she say anything about it to you, Alexis?'

'About the shooting?' Alexis didn't miss Kate wince, and neither did her father as his head snapped towards her full of concern. Kate ignored him, training her serious gaze on Alexis. 'Not exactly but I think you're right, she is upset about it but it's more complicated that just being upset that you're hurt. I don't know, I couldn't tell but there's something else.'

'Of course, she lost her parents, she's worried about losing another,' Castle chimed in as if his explanation was the only obvious one.

'I guess but there's something more than that. It doesn't explain why she's been so rude to you, Kate. But, Dad, Kate, I think I need to tell you why she punched that kid.'

Alexis proceeded to tell them how devasted Erin felt about it and how she believed they would punish her by sending her away. Kate nearly fell off the couch when she heard how the girl had insulted Erin, her cheeks immediately as inflamed as her daughter's had been.

Alexis scrambled on quicky. 'I told her that of course you would be mad, but she knows she's done wrong and that you'll understand.'

Erin's soon-to-be-official parents stood up as one, Castle catching Kate by the elbow as she stumbled slightly, and they turned towards the stairs.

'Guys, slow down, don't go rushing up there, she needs some time to calm down. She said she would come down later.' Unsure, they slowly sat back down, their heads turning between the stairs and Alexis. 'There's something else. Did you know she's not really talking to the therapist?'

'Actually, yes, we did know that,' replied Castle, as if looking for a gold star and is pleased he finally has the right answer.

'But do you know why?' They shook their heads sheepishly. Alexis took a deep breath. Maybe it wasn't her place to say this, but she decided Kate really needed to hear the truth. 'She did it for you, Kate. She only wants to make you happy so she went because she thought it's what you would want. Which makes it so strange that she's been rude to you this week. She hit that girl, and bit my head off to boot, because she won't hear a bad word said against you. She loves you, Kate.'

Alexis sat back as Kate worked to get her trembling lips under control and she turned into Castle. He hugged an arm around her and let her drop her head onto his shoulder.

Kate sniffed. 'She's upset that she might lose me.' Alexis was glad that she was trying to see Kate as more than just the person who might hurt her father. As she watched Kate now trying to pull herself together, the gamut of emotions clear on her face that she was overwhelmed at hearing that her daughter loved her and that she had hit someone in defence of her, she thought of her own mother whose maternal commitment extended only to shopping trips and globetrotting, as if she were her best friend not her daughter. Kate, on the other hand, was obviously desperate to run upstairs and comfort Erin.

'Maybe you need to stop guessing what Erin thinks and ask her herself?' Alexis replied gently. Kate nodded slowly so Alexis, buoyed with confidence at how positively everything she had said so far had been received, continued:

'Dad, you said that you guys didn't agree on how to discipline Erin?' Castle looked guiltily at Kate who, Alexis realised with a jolt to the stomach, would be quite in her rights to be surprised that her father had shared this with her. 'It's not for me to say what you choose but, in my opinion, she doesn't need much but whatever you decide it needs to be clear and needs to be from both of you.'

Castle slid forward off the couch and waved an appeasing arm. 'Okay, Alexis.' His tone was no longer churlish or sheepish, he was back in control. He was her father. 'I appreciate that you're trying to help but I think that's enough parenting advice. Kate and I will talk about what we do next together.'

Feeling like the roles had shifted back to their natural equilibrium and a burning sense of embarrassment that she had gone too far, Alexis stared across the room. Her eyes landed on the train diorama where she spotted four little elf hats on the side that she hadn't noticed earlier.

Kate cleared her throat drawing Alexis's attention back.

'Your dad told you about us officially adopting Erin?' she said carefully. 'Are you sure you're okay with that? I want you to know this is always going to be your home and I never want to do anything to jeopardise that for you.'

'I know, thank you. I'm happy for you both, honestly. And I think it's the right thing for Erin.' Feeling a different type of embarrassment, Alexis stood up, wiped her hands on her skirt, and pointed at the tiny hats.

'Is there something else you need to tell us, Dad?' Kate stood up also and tottered to the diorama beside her. Perhaps she was feeling as awkward as she? Alexis was glad she had pushed for them all to talk together but that didn't mean being open didn't also come with some heightened feelings, so Alexis appreciated it when Kate matched her teasing:

'Rick, you have some explaining to do,' she said, as she picked up the green and red felt hats, each no bigger than a kitten's head.


No idea what happened. Hadn't started this 2 days ago (beyond my notes) and here's another update! Must have been percolating in my brain for so long that when I came to write it, it just slid out easily.

Thanks as ever for reviews and feedback.