Chapter 5 – The Stupid Looking Kid

"Hey, Kid!" said Maurice, as the last of the remaining crowd wandered away from him. Since the music had now finished, it seemed that the people were now going away to look for something else mildly amusing that they could watch or hear.

The stupid looking kid looked around himself, a puzzled expression on his face. He frowned slightly, and scratched his head in an absent-minded kind of way. Then he shrugged slightly.

"No, down here," said Maurice, padding a few inches towards him.

The stupid looking kid looked down, and narrowed his eyes warily, "Yes?" he said, uncertainly.

Maurice was half expecting him to say something unbelievably stupid, such as: "Are you really a talking cat?" to which: "No," said in a very sarcastic voice, is the only really appropriate reply. But the kid, to his credit, did not say anything so dumb. Maurice supposed that was because he lived in Ankh-Morpork, a city where strange and unusual events were, ironically, quite common.

"You like making music, kid?" asked Maurice.

The kid carefully bent down, and absent-mindedly petted Maurice. He looked around, as though he suspected that someone was trying to play a trick on him, was throwing their voice, giving the impression that the cat was speaking to him. The stupid looking kid stared intently at Maurice for a long moment more, then said, carefully, "Why?"

"'Cos the Musicians' Guild has increased the price for membership of that Guild," Maurice told him, remembering the conversation that he had overheard earlier, "you better make sure that you are up-to-date with your payments, or you might find yourself in serious trouble."

The kid frowned. He still did not seem to be convinced that it was actually the cat who was doing the talking, but seemed inclined to play along with this joke or game, at least for the moment.

"Music should be free," he said, picking up the coins from his hat, and putting the hat back on his head, "as free as the air. People should not have to pay, just to make music," he added.

"No argument from me," said Maurice, trying to sound placating, "I find the whole concept of money rather baffling. But it's not up to me. It's the Musicians' Guild that insists on imposing this fee," Maurice padded around the stupid looking kid's legs for a moment, "Look, you seem like a nice kid," he said after a while, "and not as stupid as most humans."

"Thank you very much," said the stupid looking kid, eyes narrowed, arms folded, as he glared down at Maurice.

"So I'd rather not be reading your obituary in The Times," Maurice continued, "just go along to the Musicians' Guild and get it all sorted out, to avoid trouble."

The stupid looking kid stared down at Maurice for a long moment, as though trying to make up his mind. Then he shrugged, "It can't hurt to at least go there and see Mr Clete to check," he conceded, "I really don't want to cause trouble."

"Good boy," said Maurice, following him as he made his way towards the Musicians' Guild. Maurice was now convinced that this stupid looking kid could be of use to him and his plans, and that he should introduce him to Dangerous Beans and the other Changelings. But it was probably best if he took his time about doing that – the kid had only just met a talking cat, after all, and he might not be ready to meet a whole clan of talking rats just yet. Besides, he had human stuff to do at the Musicians' Guild, and Maurice was quite prepared to wait until he had sorted all of that out before introducing him to the rats.

They reached the Musicians' Guild. No-one else was paying them any attention, but the stupid looking kid nevertheless spoke to him in little more than a whisper, as he leaned down and stroked Maurice's head, "I'll just go in there and try to sort everything out," he said, "with any luck, this is nothing serious." He straightened up once more, and shook his head, "I still say that music should be free, but if I have to give the Guild a few of the coins that I've earned, it's worth doing that, just to avoid any hassle. Hopefully, I won't be long," he added, and then went inside the Guild Building.