"Are you Callie Torres?" Dr. Alvez says.

"That's me." I nervously answer while I stand up.

She shakes my hand before saying, "Right this way."

I follow after her towards her office. I've been sitting in the waiting area for about ten minutes. My nerves have grown since I arrived and now I'm almost shaking. I didn't think that I'd be this unsettled but right now it just seems very scary to talk to a stranger about my feelings. Dr. Alvez opens a door at the end of the hall. "After you." She says.

"Do I just sit here?" I ask.

"If that's what you want."

I look at her confused, "What do you mean?"

"Do you want to sit there? You can sit on the couch if you want? Do you want a blanket for the floor?" She casually asks. Dr. Alvez sees the confusion on my face and explains, "Callie, I'm trying to show you that you're in control here. You get to sit where you want."

I nod in understanding. "Thank you, Dr. Alvez."

"Please, call me Maria."

"Thank you, Maria." I say as I sit down on the couch. Maria is situated in an armchair in a crossed-legged position. I start to fidget with my fingers looking anywhere but at her.

"You seem nervous." She states.

I give her a nervous chuckle. "That obvious?"

"Most of my clients are nervous before their first session. I would be too." She admits. "Callie, can you tell me a little about why you're here? Remember I don't know anything about you."

I take a deep breath, thinking about where to start. "I don't really know where to begin." I confess.

"That's perfectly normal. Maybe start by telling me a little about you and your life? That way, I can get a better idea of who you are. Just, tell me what you want me to know."

I shift a little and pull one leg up on the couch. "Well… I'm an orthopedic surgeon. I live with my girlfriend in an apartment close to where we work. Her name is Arizona and she's a pediatric surgeon at the same hospital as me."

"When did you and Arizona move in together?" Maria asks.

"Not that long ago. About four months ago."

"Has living together been good?"

I nod while answering, "Yeah, it's actually been really great. We've been through some tough things but I've been really lucky to have her by my side."

"Can I ask what tough things you've faced since moving in together?"

"Uhm, Arizona got attacked by a patient's father and ended up in a coma." I answer.

Maria's eyes go wide. "Yeah okay, tough times seems like a bit of an understatement. What happened after the attack?"

"Well, Arizona got better after about a month. We had a bit of a rough patch for a while. She was on edge, understandably so, but it actually made us stronger in a way."

"Are you here because of Arizona?" She asks.

"No…" I hesitate.

Maria looks at me for a minute, staying silent. "You don't seem sure about that, Callie." She states.

"Something, uhm, something happened to me a few days ago. That's why I'm here."

"Are you ready to talk about it?"

"No." I confess. "But I have too."

"Why?" Maria asks.

"For Arizona's sake."

"Did Arizona tell you to come and talk to me?"

"Sort of. She told me that it's important that I talk to someone about what happened like the others did." I answer.

"The others?"

This is getting frustrating. I just need to tell her so she can help me.

"I was almost raped a few days ago."

Maria just nods for me to continue.

"My best friend Addison and I decided to take our partners to a cabin that Addison's family owns. Her and I have been going there for years and we thought it would be nice to show it to Arizona and Mark. Mark is also one of my closest friends."

I take a minute to gather mig thoughts.

"We were sitting in the living room on the second night when three guys broke into the cabin. They said something about us being rich and that we never learn. We didn't fight back because we were afraid of getting hurt by them. There was this guy that seemed like the leader of the group and he had a gun. One of the other two wanted our wallets so he took Addison upstairs to get them. Mark tried to fight him but he got knocked to the floor." I say.

"Do you need a break, Callie?" Maria asks. She must have seen my body starting to shake. "Do you want a glass of water?"

"Yeah, okay." I accept.

Maria gets up and pours me a glass of water before sitting down in the chair again.

"Thank you." I say before downing the whole glass.

"Do you feel ready to continue?" She asks.

"Yes. Addison came back down a few minutes later with both of our bags. The leader of the group then said that he wanted to take me for a spin but Arizona stepped towards him, telling him to get away from me. He pointed the gun at her and told her to kneel in front of him. He put the gun to her forehead and that just activated something in me and I agreed to go with him."

I stop, waiting for her to judge me but her face is warm and waiting for me to continue.

"I just acted on instinct because I didn't want to see Arizona hurt. So I walked upstairs with him and he pushed me onto the bed that Arizona and I shared the night before. I tried to go somewhere else but then he said that he always wanted to, uhm, fuck a latina like me. That really pissed me off so I tried to fight him off of me. He was so much stronger than me so I feel like I gave up pretty quickly. I just prepared myself to get raped but the police arriving down stairs distracted him so I could run away."

Maria nods when I finish telling her about the assault. There's quiet in the office. The only sound being the clock on the wall ticking. It feels like an eternity before Maria speaks up. "When you think back to what happened, how do you feel?"

"Scared."

"Can you elaborate? What exactly makes you feel scared?"

"Uhm, I'm not sure. Everything I guess."

Maria shifts in her chair and clears her throat. "I know that I don't know you yet, Callie." She says, "But it seems like you're scared of telling me how you feel because you're afraid that I might judge you. Am I right to assume so?"

I look down shyly.

"It's okay, Callie. You can be completely honest here." Maria encourages me.

"I don't feel that you're a person who judges but I feel like I'm supposed to feel a certain way. I feel like I might say the wrong thing."

"How are you supposed to feel?"

"I don't know." I say, "I feel like I'm supposed to be really fragile."

"Do you feel fragile?" She asks.

"No." I state.

"How do you feel?"

"Honestly, I feel really angry. I'm angry that he forced himself on me. That he made me feel small. He's the one that should feel terrible about himself, not me."

"That's understandable."

"I'm mad that he hurt my friends and my girlfriend. I'm fucking pissed that he left bruises on my body that made my girlfriend hesitant to touch me." I spit.

"Have you talked to your friends or your girlfriend about being mad?" Maria asks.

"Not really."

"Why is that?"

"They went through something too."

Maria nods before saying, "That's true."

"I told Arizona how scared I was when that gun was pointed at her."

"How did she react?"

"She told me that she couldn't live with herself if he raped me." I answer. "I told her that it was better than her being dead."

Maria is silent for a moment. I look at the clock and see that our session is almost over.

"I think that you've got a pretty good handle on this, Callie. Have you been having nightmares?"

"Yeah?" I answer.

"That's common for clients who went through similar situations to you. I know that this first session was mostly me hearing about your situation but I think it's really great that you were able to tell me about how you feel." She states, "Do you feel better?"

"It was nice to just speak my mind."

"Would it be okay with you if we scheduled another session?"

"What? Am I not okay? Do you think that I'm totally broken?" I panic.

Maria leans over and places a calming hand on my thigh. "Callie, I don't think you're broken but I feel like you would benefit from a few more sessions with me." She says, "Look you're a doctor and you're supposed to worry about your health right?"

"Yes."

"Taking care of your health also includes your mental health and that is what I'm here for, to help you take care of yourself."

Maria's right. It was really nice talking to her and I feel a little lighter now.

"I would like to schedule another session."

Maria nods, "Do you feel comfortable with me or would you like to see another therapist in our staff? It's okay if that's the case."

"No, I feel comfortable with you." I answer.

"That's great, Callie. I would like to see you again next week. I know that's pretty soon but I want you to be able to talk to me a little more often for the time being."

"I would like that."

"Very well. Now, I have some homework for you." Maria says.

"Homework?" I question.

"Yes, I want you to tell Arizona about how angry you feel. Talk to her about what we talked about today. Maybe talk to Addison and Mark too if you feel like it? Can you do that?"

"I think so."

"Great. It was really nice to meet you, Callie and I'm looking forward to seeing you next time."

I shake Maria's hand while saying, "It was nice to meet you too."


I'm not sure how I feel about this chapter but I feel like we needed to witness Callie's session with Dr. Alvez.

Reviews are appreciated.