Man I love this story

Inspiration: Thanos wins by Donnie Cates


In the vast expanse of space, there was a great meadow with flowers and trees. The sky was full of visible star clusters and galaxies. Planets could be seen floating in the void.

''What is this place?'' Weiss muttered.

''The afterlife.'' Cobalt replied.

Alternate Oscar stared at the screen longingly. Just die and pass on, it was that simple but not for him. Now he had to deal with all the voices in his head that wanted the same thing.

There was a man in a black biker suit, with red spiky shoulder pads and a red chain wrapped around his chest. The suit had a grey skull symbol on it. But the man's most noticeable feature was the flaming skull he had for a head. He laid on the grass with his arms behind his head.

''He looks like something from a heavy metal cover.'' Mercury remarked.

"How is his head not burning the grass." wondered Cinder.

"He's in space, how is his head on fire." Questioned Oobleck. He knew there was no point asking but the need for some kind of logic was still there.

''Hey there, name's Qrow.'' The biker said as he shifted into a seating position. ''Most folks call me the Rider these days.''

"I'm a what now?"

"Why is Qrow getting all the interesting ones." Alternate Oscar wondered.

Ironwood agreed with this sentiment why does Qrow get the interesting ones and he gets some actor.

''Is he talking to us?'' Emerald asked the butlers but received no response.

He then grabbed a massive jug by his side, he then took a big swing from it. ''Well, these days I'm dead but you get it.'' he said before chuckling. ''I died alot of times, but this time it stuck, guess being smashed to bits by the Silver Surfer cartin around Thor's hammer is exciting stuff.''

''Is that what happens when we die?'' Mercury wondered "We become bad ass flaming skulled bikers, because if we did, then I would have offed myself a long time ago.''

''A deal with Mephisto actually," Vermilion said before he noticed everyone's perplexed looks. "Basically the devil.''

''So now I'm here at rest, at peace.'' The skull-headed man said hesitantly as he shook his jug. ''Only I ain't feelin too peaceful,'' he continued.''I can still...feel her, can still see all the horrible things she did crawlin all over me like bugs in my skin.''

"He's got some demons."

''Salem, I mean.'' He added almost as if he heard their question. ''She used to make me give her the ol' penance stare every single morning. Used to love bathin' in all the crummy things she'd done.''

''The Penance stare?'' Cinder

''It's an ability bestowed by the spirit of vengeance in which one is forced to experience all the sins they have committed, and if their sins are great enough it destroys their soul.''

''And no one has commited as many sins as Salem.''

''Of course the stare requires one be able to look into the riders eyes, so if their blind it won't work on them.''

''But why doesn't it work on her?'' Glynda asked

''Salem is an erotophonophiliac so doesn't feel guilty of what she's done.'' Cobalt said, causing Alternate Oscar to choke on air. Salem stared at him in confusion.

''What's that mean?'' Nora asked Ren under her breath.

''It means she's turned on by seeing people die.''

''Heh, Actually it reminds me of a story I used to tell to... Well I only ever told it to myself, and some lizards.''

"Wha?"

"Then again I may have been quick to judge." Alternate Oscar

"This one suits you best Qrow." James added

"But he's a total wack job."

"My point still stands."

''But, yeah, goes like this: What's the difference between a fairy tale and a Salem story?''

''A fairy tale begins with ''Once upon a time...'' But a Salem stories...well'' he then took another swing of the liquid somehow not extinguishing his flame. ''They begin with 'Man... you ain't gonna believe this shit''

''This one's pretty rough,'' Qrow said as a colossal spaceship was shown flying. ''It takes place a long time ago...''

Salem, who was dressed in black and gold armor, was sitting on her throne. She watched as Emerald slaughtered a group of men who attacked her. Emerald then pinned the last one the floor with a spear through his head.

Salem was taken aback by the size of her counterpart. ''Something's wrong.''

''What do you mean mistress.''

''There is something about her that's different.'' Alternate Oscar

''Her eye's, there is something off about them.'' Her eyes weren't red as usual, he continued to stare at them till he noticed the difference. Silver, her eyes were now black and silver.

''See, Salem used to hold these little makeshift fighting tournaments on her ship, the Sanctuary II. And no, I don't know what happened to Sanctuary I, go ask her.''

"OK now I want to know what happened to it." Nora said

"It was destroyed in a war with an intergalactic cult."

''They were more or less blood sport disguised as training exercises, a murder pit for a classroom, for her darlin' daughter, Emerald.''

''It's a massacre.''

''My, my little girl, you're more ferocious than I thought.'' Tyrian said, in what felt as if it where his best attempt at respect.

''May I be done yet, Mother?'' A blood soaked Emerald asked as she turned to face Salem.

''No, another.'' Salem coldly replied. Just as she finished speaking a feminine looking warrior dressed in all black wielding two shortswords appeared.''Salem, being the gifted disciplinarian that she is, would occasionally raze an entire civilization so she could take a single prisoner...''.

Emerald got into stance, ready to fight. ''Just to bring something home for Emerald to play with.''

Emerald charged at her opponent and swung her fist, the masked girl dodged the attack and round house kicked Emerald

"If you're just joining us, you should know that Salem was, by all accounts was a pretty terrible mother.

"But hey, I guess you can't argue with result's, right?''

''No shit Sherlock.''

The whole scene just felt so familiar to Mercury. Guess bones was right, no matter how hellish the treatment from his father was, it worked. The man succeeded in his mission and he reaped the rewards.

Emerald grabbed the girl by her leg and pulled her in close, she then swung her fist at the girl. She then grabbed her by her head before delivering a headbutt dazing her opponent. ''Emerald would eventually grow up to become the second deadliest woman in the galaxy, after mother dearest. And you don't earn that title with clean hands.''

''What kind of mother is she?'' Oscar asked in horror.

One that craves results," Cobalt replied. "However their relationship wasn't always like this.''

''Why doesn't she do something?'' Emerald asked.

''Like what? She can't run away from Salem she's the ruler of the galaxy after all.'' Vermilion said, everyone gasped at the revelation. Salem as ruler of the Grimm was terrifying enough.

''Besides she was literally begging for this.'' he added.

"What?"

"Her planet was wiped out and she was one of the few survivors." Cobalt explained.

"Salem just so happened to be nearby

"So Emerald asked to be trained."

Emerald threw another punch, which the girl countered by stabbing her in the wrist stopping the fist. She then swung her second blade slitting her wrist. With another swing, this time at her stomach, the girl ripped it open. Her green intestines spilled out as she tried to keep them inside her. ''Or a weak stomach.''

Emerald started crying as she weakly turned to face her mother. ''Mother... please...please stop this! Mercy!''

Emerald was shocked by what she saw and quickly clutched her stomach. Mercury grit his teeth, is this what it takes to have a strong kid? Just keep hurting them until something snaps

"Strange," muttered Watts. "I thought the skeleton said she grew up."

''Cruel though she may very well have been...''

"Once again stating the obvious. "

Salem stared at her daughter, she leaned forward and stroked her chin. ''You are not here for mercy.'' she said, she then nodded at the masked girl. ''Finish it.''

The girl walked up to Emerald and swung her sword at her neck, cutting her head clean off. A geyser of green blood sprayed into the air and her body slumped to the ground immediately after. ''Salem taught her daughter to face death that day.''

Emerald averted her eyes, she couldn't stand to see herself executed. Mercury raised his hand almost as if he wanted to give her pat on the back, only to change his mind. What he saw, it just confirmed what he's always known: Having family or anyone makes you vulnerable. She died because she wanted revenge.

''To embrace the end.'' Emeralds face slowly morphed into that of a strange creature with a rippled chin and pointy ears. Her body followed revealing a skrull. ''To look death in the eye and to meet her gaze unblinking, and unafraid.''

"What is that thing?"

''a shape-shifting life form known as a skrull.''

The girl removed her mask revealing herself to be Emerald, the real one. ''May I be done now, Mother?''

''I was killed by, me?''

A sinister smile graced Salem's face, she leaned her head back. She seemed to become flustered and was breathing heavily. The smell of blood, the sight of corpses. This, this is what she lived for. What she loved, Death. The absolute end to all things. She needed more. She regained control over herself before leaning back on her throne.''No, another.''

''That's a face I never want to see again.''

"Agreed." They said in unison

''Pretty fucked up, yeah?''Qrow remarked. ''Well hold on kiddies I'm just getting started.''

"I don't want to see anymore." Ruby pleaded

"This one has no gore so don't worry."

''It's not the gore that has me worried,'' the thought of seeing Salem do that face made her shiver.

Qrow then appeared, seated cross legged on an armchair with the initials ''G.R'' embroidered on it's side, wearing a fancy black and red gown with a wine glass in hand. He then chuckled as he remembered the story. It was quite the strange sight.

''Bony Qrow is back.'' Yang said.

Nora burst out laughing at the ridiculous image, ''He looks stupid in that get up.''

''A flaming skeleton biker wearing a gown, I've seen it all.'' Blake deadpanned

''Now I know you think the great Salem is a destroyer of worlds, of whole populations! Her thirst for pain (both figuratively and literally) cannot be contained b the borders of reality...''

''...But no cruelty is too small for the terrible queen either, and may even offer greater pleasure. See Jaune, 1 year old...''

Jaune's parent's were tucking him into his bed. His mother kissed him on the forehead ''Happy birthday, Jaune. We love you.'' The pair then left the room.

Salem's golden gauntlet was seen reaching for Jaune's crib.

Pyrrha felt her heart sink

Tyrian was on the edge of his seat, what vile actions were his mistress about commit. He could not hold back his excitement and let out a disturbing giggle.

She then grabbed her blanket and pulled it off him him. She then opened the window let in a cold breeze. ''The first of many very happy birthdays, little Jaune.''

''That's it? No there has to be more.'' Tyrian said in disappointment

''You wanted to see her kill.'' Cobalt asked in confusion. ''If so I will show you when she slaughtered all her children.''

''No this is fine.'' Yang abruptly said.

Jaune burst out crying, causing his parent's to barge into his room. ''What is it, honey?'' his mother asked as she walked into the room.

''Where'd his blanket go?'' his father wondered. ''He literally had it just five minutes ago.''

''I don't know!''

Four years later Jaune sat on his porch as his mother set up the table for his birthday party. ''Can I stop having birthdays mama? The monster doesn't come if it's not my birthday''

''Jaune, there is no monster.'' she said brushing him off. ''You're father is going to be here with cake, and you're going to have fun with your friends and-'' suddenly a loud crash was heard coming from infront of the house. ''What was that?''

A crumpled red car was lying on the road flames coming from it and a mangled arm sticking out of it. ''The monster!'' Jaune cried as he pointed at his father's car. ''The monster did it!'' he said before he burst into tears.

Eleven years later, Jaune was woken up by his phone vibrating.

As he reached for it Salem snatched it from his grip. ''Happy birthday, baby! I can't wait to see you today!xOxOxo'' Salem read the text out loud in a snobbish voice.'' Jaune leapt out of bed as the giant woman sat next to him.

The girly accent that Salem was using when she read the text was like a punch in the gut for most of them. The mistress of all grimm and evil, sounding like some kind of valley girl.

''Wow Pyrrha never would have assumed you for the overly affectionate type.'' Everyone including Ruby pulled a double take at this. He had to be faking, there is no way anyone could have been so blind.

''I still surprise you, Jaune?'' Salem said with a grin. ''You got a girlfriend?''

''Please, why are you doing this?'' Jaune asked ''Nobody believes-''

''Quiet.'' Salem said as she began texting Pyrrha. After sending the text she tossed the scroll at him. ''You have no way of walking that comment back, what a cruel boyfriend you are.''

''Ma'am if you don't mind me asking.''

''Spit it out.''

''Do you know how to use a scroll?'' Silence was the only response. ''Is that why you're really obsessed with using Seers to communicate?''

''I didn't-'' Jaune was interrupted by his phone vibrating. ''What the fuck you asshole! WE'RE OVER! I hope you DIE.'' he read from his phone.

''Why?''

''Happy birthday.'' Salem said as she shook her hands.

Five years later, Jaune was the only one left standing by a punch bowl with a red cup in hand. Salem walked up to him, stepping over the dead bodies of Jaune's friends. She then leaned against the wall and grabbed Jaune's cup, ''Don't drink that. Happy birthday.''

''My god that escalated.'' Blake remarked

''Must have been a wild party.'' Tyrian said

''Imagine if they had done that to the punch at Beacon.''

''I'm pretty sure someone spit in the punch.'' Mercury said as he looked at the disgusted faces of the students

Four years later Jaune and Salem watched as Jaune's dream college that he worked so hard to get into burned into the ground. ''Was this grad school you got into? Happy birthday.''

Three years later Jaune walked past her old cubicle where Salem, who was wearing a pair of spectacles and a clip on tie was sticking her head out. She was cramped due to her size.

''She's dressing for the occasion now."

Alternate Oscar looked at the screen with a little smile, there

''Happy Birthday Jaune.''

''You got me fired?''

''Nope, bad luck.''

''Then-?''

''Your cat is dead.''

Three years later, Jaune sat om his couch at the verge of insanity, he kept rocking himself back and forth.

''She has to tell me.'' he muttered to himself. ''He has to tell me why. She won't stop. I know that. But if I can just get her to say why-'' suddenly he was interrupted by the beep of his clock.

''It's after midnight.'' he realized, his birthday had passed and Salem hadn't shown up. ''She...she missed it? But...why?''

The TV then answered his question. ''...Salem defeated and exiled by Remnant's mightiest heroes.'' a smile appeared on his face.

The look on everyone's face was priceless, Salem defeated how was that possible? Who were 'Remnant's mightiest heroes'? They must have been quite the formidable force.

''Impossible!'' Tyrian shouted. This Salem must have been weaker, that must be it. No one could defeat his lady.

''She missed my birthday.''

One year later, Jaune carried a tray full of meat.

''I just noticed the news lady knew who Salem is.''

''So she's public knowledge.'' James noted. It's only a matter of time before she reveals her back on Remnant. If he were to inform the populace maybe .

"Atleast she won't bother him anymore." Pyrrha said in relief. She couldn't bare to see his life ruined any further.

"But how did they beat her?" Ruby asked, it would be great if they had some sort of hint.

''It's still going.''

''Makes sense, the calcium man didn't interrupt.'' Mercury said.

He cheerfully walked into his getting ready to have a barbecue. ''You say it's your birthday? DUNNA NUNNA NAH NAH NA NAH! Well, it's-''

Suddenly he was interrupted by Salem, who was wearing a white apron with the words 'Kiss the chef' over her armor as she barbecued some meat. ''Well it's my birthday too, yeah!'' she sang along.

''No.'' Jaune said as he dropped his tray.

''No you're right it's not.'' Salem joked. ''I'm so sorry I missed you last year, Jaune. I promise it will never happen again.''

''Why, Why?'' Jaune asked. ''Please, why do you do this?''

''I love these meetings, there is nothing more important to me.'' Salem said as she raised her left gauntlet revealing that it had six glowing gems on it. ''Do you understand that? Let's ,make up for missing last year.'' she then snapped her fingers releasing a great wave of energy.

Area surrounding the house was consumed by a great force, every house in the neighborhood that was close to Jaune's was consumed by the void, ''Happy birthday.''

''She turned his neighborhood into a canyon.''

Salem was taken a back. She wasn't aware of a spell with such destructive power, or was it that her counterpart had more potent magic?

Fourteen years later Jaune sat in his run down apartment, he had given up being tidy because he knew in someway or form Salem was going to ruin this house as well.

''Kids, this is what rock bottom looks like.'' Qrow said.

''I assume you must be very familiar with it.'' Cinder remarked getting an annoyed grunt from him.

Speaking of the devil Salem then opened the front door. She bent over as she walked through the door.

''Jaune,'' She said as she walked in.

''Salem.'' he replied from his couch.

''Happy birthday, ugh.'' she was immediately hit by the smell of something rotting causing her to gag a bit. Salem then looked around the room. ''Not a lot to work to with anymore is there?''

''You've tormented me for every year of my life. And for a long time all I wanted to know, was why.''

''That's a good question, why is she doing this?'' Glynda wondered out loud. She seemed to be powerful and capable of more heinous deeds yet why would she do this.

''Maybe Jaune has some secret power she wants.''

''That makes no sense.''

''Hmm.'' Salem hummed as she felt the ceiling, giving her an idea.

''But lately, I've started to think why do you think I'll keep sticking around for all of this?''

''Why don't I just kill myself right? That's why. You want to see how far you can push a person.'' He said matter of factly.

''You conquer planets and kill superheroes!'' He shouted. ''But every year you come back to me.''

''So I'm going to tell you why I hang on. Why I keep living, despite everything you've done to me, to the people I love.''

"You tell her Jauney." Nora said.

"He's being stubborn as usual," Ren said, tenacity, stubbornness, resolve in the end they're all the same.

''I wake up every day and-'' Salem then punched a hole into his ceiling bursting a pipe.

"That was rude," Ruby said while pouting. "Jaune was still giving his speech."

Water poured into the apartment flooding it. As the water became waist deep, well Salem's waist, she walked out the room.

''No Jaune, I don't care.'' She said. ''I do it, because it's fun. See you next year.''

"Fun? That's her idea of fun."

''It actually makes sense.'' Tyrian said almost as if he had reached some grand conclusion. ''The satisfaction is wonderful, but it's just lasts for a fleeting moment.''


The second part will come out shortly then the Ghost stories dub after