Welcome to the second chapter, which isn't really a chapter, it's more of a one-shot (or two or three-shot) that the Randomizer told me to tell you while it eradicates the zombie threat. So….here goes.

SMASHER DOOMINESS (written by MonkeyFishDoom-no-Jutsu, who is not a listed author, just a friend, in Japan)

Editor's Note: His story switches from present tenseto past tense a lot, just keep reading…or be randomized.)

OK…so when the zombies started killing everything the Smashers (not any of the other people) retreated to the Smashers Lounge/Apartment/Condominium (all fancy words for impenetrable cardboard box fortress).

"OK….so…..what do we do now?" Young Link questioned.

"How do you even-a know what's a going on?" said Mario.

"I was watching the security camera." Young Link said.

"We have a security camera?" Link muttered.

"UH….NO! NO! NO CAMERA! I DEFINITELY DON'T WANT TO KNOW EVERYTHING THAT GOES ON HERE AT ANY GIVEN MOMENT!" Y. Link shrilled.

"I vote we feed him to the zombies." Bowser growled, "All in favor say 'He dies'."

"HE DIES."

"OK, then that settles it." Bowser throws Y. Link out of the I.C.B.F. so that the zombies may feast on his polygonal flesh.

The Loudspeaker comes on. "Attention all Smashers. Attention all Smashers. You have been exposed to the ABC-virus. In 30 minutes you will all start turning into random letters of the alphabet. The only way to survive is to kill each other and find an antidote, which won't protect you from being infected again, it only works once, and won't appear until only one Smasher is left in the building, which is why you must kill everybody else first. That is all."

T-30:00 UNTIL ABC, 24 SMASHERS REMAIN

A long silence ensues, followed by mass panic and rioting.

Suddenly, the ever-crafty Ganondorf has a plan. "THIS IS ALL LUIGI'S FAULT! KILL LUIGI!"

"KILL LUIGI!" shouts the angry mob as they descend upon Luigi, who shrieks and screams in terror until his screams are cut short.

"OK…" Ganondorf screams, "WHAT DO WE DO NOW?"

"KILL GANONDORF!" screams the bloodthirsty mob.

"NO, THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT, NOOOOOOOOO—" Ganondorf dies.

Link suddenly has an idea. "FIRE! EVERYBODY RUUUUUUUUUUUUN!"

The panicking, idiotic mob quickly disperses to all corners of the I.C.B.F., and the clock starts ticking!

T-26:47 UNTIL ABC, 22 SMASHERS REMAIN

Link crept around to the Armory and loaded up on Fire/Ice Arrows and equipped every Zelda weapon known to man….plus the Super Scope and a appropriately named "boom stick". It's not a gun, it's a stick that acts as a flashbang. DUH.

Meanwhile, Kirby was hungry, so he stuffed Pikachu in the microwave, cooked, and ate him. Then he wanted dessert. So he wandered off looking for dessert.

Roy and Captain Falcon formed an alliance early on and prowled the halls, looking for an easy kill. Unfortunately, Bowser is not by any means "an easy kill". Fortunately, Bowser pressed the Random Trapdoor button and fell through a random trapdoor to the basement, right into the lair of a certain evil doctor…

Peach and Zelda were embroiled in a battle with Samus in the trophy room, and things only got worse when Marth joined the fray, distracting Peach and allowing Samus to vaporize her.

"FLIBIDIBIGOOEYUIUIUIUIUIUA!" Marth screeched, hopping around the room.

"Get it out, GET IT OUT!" Zelda screamed, flinging fireballs and incinerating everything in the room, including a Mr. G&W lying in wait against the black wall. However Marth was unscathed.

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAtoast." Marth slobbered.

"WHAT? WHAT DO YOU WANT?" Samus yelled.

"Falco's dead." Marth sang in a childish voice.

"He's not dead." Zelda scoffed.

"Yes he is DEAD BIRDIE BIRDIE COOKED AHAHAHAHHAHHAHAH!" Marth ranted, running into the kitchen and wheeling out a tray with a blaster and a VERY large, cooked bird on it, presumably Falco.

"Oh…..my….what…." Samus mumbled.

"MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHApity." Marth grabbed Falco's blaster from the tray and ran off babbling.

T-23:00 UNTIL ABC, 19 SMASHERS REMAIN

"Awawawawawawa….awawawaww…..awawawa….awawawawaawa…" Yoshi's wailing could be heard coming from the balcony. Jigglypuff decided to check it out. Unfortunately for Jigglypuff, Yoshi decided to make a Jigglypuff egg and roll it over the balcony to make a nice splat on the gorund 30 feet below…but there was no splat. Jigglypuff bounced back up and Yoshi swallowed it again, then Jigglypuff started to inflate …and inflate….and inflate…….until Yoshi exploded. Then Jigglypuff walked off in search of a clean shower to wash off the Yoshi guts.

Ness was wandering around the basement when he stumbled upon Mewtwo.

"I challenge you to a psychic battle, o short stuff." Mewtwo telapathized.

"I don't know….Mama told me never to talk to non-human sentient lifeforms…" Ness pondered.

"Yo mama's so ugly she made a blind kid cry"

"OH, IT'S ON NOW!"

While these two were engaged in psychic battle on another plane of existence, Link snuck in and killed them both by unleashing a horde of Bombchus.

T-20:41 UNTIL ABC, 16 SMASHERS REMAIN

Jigglypuff is singing in the shower. Suddenly the curtain is ripped back and the shadows of two raised mallets appear on the wall. Much battering and squeaking ensues. Apparently, every time Nana and Popo hit Jigglypuff, it reinflates. So they deepfreeze it and drop it off a staircase, shattering it into tiny Jigglypuff fragments.

Down in Dr. Mario's secret lab of secretysecretness, Bowser has been transformed into…Super Ultra Mega Turbo Nitro Tango 1-2-3 Doom Bowser! In other words, just Bowser, only 12 feet tall with a built in missile launcher and an implant that converts all farts into nerve gas, plus other enhancements. Doctor Mario cackles with glee.

"NOW, GO, SUM-TNT-123-DOOM BOWSER! DESTROY ALL, THAT I MIGHT ACQUIRE THE ANTIDOTE!"

Bowser responds by walking through the nearest wall and beginning his reign of terror. First targets: Captain Falcon and Roy.

In other news, the Randomizer got bored and Randomized itself, temporarily short-circuiting.

T-15:00 UNTIL ABC, 15 SMASHERS REMAIN

Bowser blew up Captain Falcon with a missile. His helmet flew across the room and knocked out Mario, who had been hiding behind the curtains. Fortunately, Bowser could not see him.

Roy was now backed up in a corner, Bowser advancing on him. "Any last words?"

"SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANDWIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICH…"

"Who said that?" Bowser growled.

"SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANDWIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICH…"

"WHO'S THERE?" Bowser screamed, whirling around to find a horde of zombified Pichus standing there, with little bits of Eskimo tunic still caught in their fanged smiles. "SANDWICH!" The mob of Pichus swarmed Bowser, devouring him whole. At the same time, Bowser let out a humongous nerve gas fart, rotting the flesh off a cowering Roy's bones. The Zombie Pichus hopped off, quite pleased with themselves, then scampered off, looking for another meal. Mario came to, saw the grisly scene before him, and passed out again. Link, disturbed by the current situation, took off the Blend-in-with-the-Wall mask he was wearing and departed for safe haven.

DK was wandering along looking for his banana, when he heard a strange noise coming from the room across the hall: "ADIJABLOOPERFINGINALKAPKO…GLARF."

The pitiful simian's brain came up with a thought: What that? Banana?

Marth burst out of the room, firing Falco's blaster in random directions and sprinting down the hall toward the trophy room. Suddenly a missile shot down the hall and hit Marth, although it did nothing as it seems Marth stole Falco's Reflector too. The missile flew back down the hall and incinerated poor Donkey Kong on contact. Marth escaped through a door.

Zelda walked up behind Samus. "If only Marth wasn't a certified lunatic. I can remember the day that happened…"

Samus sighed. "Me too…"

3 months ago

Link was running down the hall with Marth hot on his heels. Maybe stealing Marth's bunny pajamas and hanging them in the common area wasn't such a good idea…wait, he had an idea.

Marth kept chasing Link down the halls…until he tripped. Then he kept chasing until he got to a door at the end of the hall and ran inside. It was pitch-black in the room, and the door swung shut behind him. Suddenly the lights came on. Link was standing near the light switch…with…EARMUFFS ON? Then Marth saw it: the fairy, flitting next to a microphone, connected to a soundboard, connected to 426 speakers and 74 subwoofers. Then, the fairy began to scream.

"HEYLOOKLISTEN HEYLOOKLISTEN HEYLOOKLISTEN HEYLOOKLISTEN HEYLOOKLISTEN HEYLOOKLISTEN HEYLOOKLISTEN HEYLOOKLISTEN HEYLOOKLISTEN HEYLOOKLISTEN HEYLOOKLISTEN HEYLOOKLISTEN HEYLOOKLISTEN HEYLOOKLISTEN HEYLOOKLISTEN HEYLOOKLISTEN HEYLOOKLISTEN HEYLOOKLISTEN HEYLOOKLISTEN HEYLOOKLISTEN HEYLOOKLISTEN HEYLOOKLISTEN HEYLOOKLISTEN HEYLOOKLISTEN HEYLOOKLISTEN HEYLOOKLISTEN HEYLOOKLISTEN HEYLOOKLISTEN HEYLOOKLISTEN HEYLOOKLISTEN HEYLOOKLISTEN HEYLOOKLISTEN HEYLOOKLISTEN HEYLOOKLISTEN HEYLOOKLISTEN HEYLOOKLISTEN HEYLOOKLISTEN HEYLOOKLISTEN HEYLOOKLISTEN HEYLOOKLISTEN HEYLOOKLISTEN HEYLOOKLISTEN HEYLOOKLISTEN HEYLOOKLISTEN HEYLOOKLISTEN HEYLOOKLISTEN HEYLOOKLISTEN HEYLOOKLISTEN HEYLOOKLISTEN HEYLOOKLISTEN HEYLOOKLISTEN HEYLOOKLISTEN HEYLOOKLISTEN HEYLOOKLISTEN HEYLOOKLISTEN HEYLOOKLISTEN HEYLOOKLISTEN HEYLOOKLISTEN HEYLOOKLISTEN HEYLOOKLISTEN HEYLOOKLISTEN HEYLOOKLISTEN HEYLOOKLISTEN HEYLOOKLISTEN HEYLOOKLISTEN HEYLOOKLISTEN HEYLOOKLISTEN HEYLOOKLISTEN HEYLOOKLISTEN (ad infinitum)"

NOTE: In case you lost track, the only Smashers left are Dr. Mario, Mario, Pichu, Link, Kirby, Marth, Fox, Zelda, and Samus

Present Day, T-10:00 UNTIL ABC, NINE SMASHERS REMAIN

"…and there you have it." Samus finished. "What a sad story."

Suddenly the door behind them (there are a lot behind them, pick one) burst open and the Z. Pichus swarmed the room. No matter how many fireballs and missiles were fired, they just kept coming. "Let's get out of here!" Zelda screamed. She teleported herself out of the hallway and Samus rolled away with Z. Pichus chasing after the pretty Morph Ball.

Dr. Mario was getting restless…why had Bowser not killed everything yet? He was perfect….or, as perfect as a genetically-altered reptilian sin against nature could be…oh well. The good doctor decided to go investigate.

Kirby was emptying out the contents of the freezer into his mouth when Fox appeared. Thinking he had an easy kill, Fox fired away at the defenseless Kirby. Kirby, however, decided to eat the lasers. Mmm…cherry flavored… After two minutes of continuous firing or so, Fox stopped firing and Kirby belched a superlaser equivalent to the cannons of the Great Fox, magnified about thirty times. When the dust cleared, Kirby stepped over Fox's ashes in search of more food.

Dr. Mario…Zelda…Link…Kirby…Samus…Mario…Marth…Pichu…which one will survive? Or will they ALL turn into random alphabet letters? Stay tuned for the shocking conclusion of "Smasher Doominess"!