PART TWO OF SMASHER DOOMINESS

Sorry, this took forever to upload since my computer crashed (twice) and I had to buy a new one. I got sidetracked what with school starting up again, but now it's over, so…NEW CHAPTER!

Present Day, T-10:00 UNTIL ABC, NINE SMASHERS REMAIN

Current Location of Smashers:

Dr. Mario: Searching for Bowser

Zelda: Running from horde of Zombie Pichus

Link: Also running, not with Zelda

Kirby: Savoring aftertaste of cherry laser

Samus: Also running, with Zelda

Mario: Unconscious behind a curtain

Marth: Running around with Falco's blaster & reflector

Pichu: Searching for stuff to eat

Dr. Mario wandered throughout the halls of the I.C.B.F., searching for his semi-beloved WMD, hoping to retreat ASAP. When he came upon the scene of ungodly desolation that was Bowser/Roy, all he found was a rocket launcher, dental fillings, and Roy's semi-alive semibody. Thinks the Doctor to himself, This may not be over after all.

The horde of Zichus (as they will henceforth be referred to) stormed the nooks, crannies, crevices, and overall hard-to-find places of the I.C.B.F., hunting foodses. The Zichu in front was scampering along when it saw a rectangular thingy that looked quite appetizing…wait…there were letters scrawled on it…C…H…was that an H?

-BOOM-

As smoke engulfed the room and zombie rats writhed in agony, a shadowy figure leapt from the shadows and moved to safer ground. Moments later, the zombie rats got back up and started running again.

Kirby set down the now empty refrigerator and walked out of the kitchenette. He promptly sat down to watch the Andy Griffith Show, starring…Andy Griffith! An arrow suddenly shot through the adjacent window and impaled Kirby, but he just ate it. Kirby thought he saw a wing, but this did not concern him. He returned his attention to the Andy Griffith show.

Samus and Zelda ran down Hallway #25FmilkBETA and locked themselves in the kitchenette.

"Man, I'm STARVING." Says Samus as she picks up a sandwich. Unfortunately, Samus forgets she has her helmet on, and promptly smashes the sandwich on her visor, blurring her vision. "Man, good since I had these faceshield wipers installed last week," Samus mutters as the sandwich is cleaned off her helmet.

"saaandwiiiiich."

"WHAT WAS THAT!" Zelda shrieked in terror.

"SAAAAAAAAAAANDwiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiich."

"THEY'RE COMING TO EAT US AND PICK THE FLESH OFF OUR BONES!" Zelda screeched. Samus calmly transforms into Morph Ball mode and rolls away.

"SAAAAAAAAAAANDWIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICH."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEFRLZQWK!" Zelda screams. Link, exhausted, crawls out from a cabinet. "Sandwich…sandwich…" He looks at Zelda. "Hey, you gonna eat that?" At this exact moment, the Zichu horde storms the kitchenette and devours the two whole amid screams of sandwich-related agony. Kirby shouts from the other room, "HEY! Could you guys just SHUT UP? I'm trying to watch TV here!"

Mario awoke from his helmet-induced nap, only to find Marth standing over him with a blaster pointed at his skull.

"Wake up, you blithering fool, I've got an antidote to find, and you're going to aid me."

Wait a minute, the still groggy Mario thinks. Was that coherent speech I just heard? From MARTH? Loony MARTH?

"No, stupid, you're still half-asleep."

Actual transcript of recorded events as recorded by the Randomizer:

"Hunh? Where am I?" "ASLFKJLASKFJSAKHFSAJFLK!" "Huh? Marth? I didn't know you could-a talk." "FLEEGLBROASJURTBAKWM!" "Sure, I'll help you find the antidote." "GLARF" (repeated blaster fire) (rapid footsteps leaving)

T-7:00 UNTIL ABC, SIX (?) SMASHERS REMAIN

The Andy Griffith credits were rolling. Kirby and his 174 bags of half-eaten popcorn and 62 empty 2-liters of Mountain Dew were sitting comfortably on the couch and surrounding floor. Suddenly, a masked figure swooped into the window and landed on the floor.

"Kirby, I challenge thee to a duel."

Kirby appeared unfazed. "Don't you mean duel?"

"That's what I saideth."

"No, you said monkeytoast." Kirby responded.

"No…I…WHATETH are you talking about…eth!" The masked figure grew impatient.

"Hang on, the credits are still rolling." Kirby lazily stuffed more Link and Zelda-flavored popcorn into his mouth.

The shadowy figure stepped into the light of the TV. Kirby recoiled in horror that his view was being blocked. "GASP! META KNIGHT!" Meta Knight stood there. "OK, NOW can we duel?"

"Yeah, sure, whatever. Wait for the credits to finish."

"NOBODY WATCHES THE ANDY GRIFFITH SHOW ANYMORE!"

"I do." (munch munch munch)

"Well…just…HURRY UP ALREADY!"

Kirby put down his popcornses, picked up the randomly misplaced Kokiri Sword lying next to the Waffle Juice, and waddled over to Meta Knight. "Look, if we're going to duel, we might as well eat first."

"BUT YOU JUST ATE ALL THE FOOD IN THIS ROOM!"

"Oh. Yeah. Well, let's start then, I guess."

They duel.

Edit: The Randomizer, noticing that Kirby was semi out of character, replaced all previous speech with "Wuddle". That is all.

Dr. Mario in the meantime, had transplanted Roy's soul into a spare Ray MK-II model lying around. He flicked the power switch on.

"Ray…Can you hear me?"

"Yes, Doctor. Where is Padme? Is she safe? Is she all right?"

"It seems, in your anger…wait a minute, who is Padme? Why are we saying this?"

"I…I couldn't have! She was alive...I felt it!"

"Ray, snap out of it!"

(breaks free of operating table) "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" (nothing happens)

The Doctor flipped the off switch and Ray crumpled to the floor. Bug in the programming, he thought to himself as he exited the lab to make a fridge raid.

All the Smashers (Dr. Mario, Roy/Ray, Mario, Kirby, Samus, M. Knight, Marth) fell into Random Trapdoors TM at this exact moment due to the Randomizer becoming bored (again). They all came out in a giant room. Really big. With waffles. Kirby and Meta Knight resumed dueling, Mario is NOT dead (Marth was firing at a piece of cheese), the Doctor and Roy/Ray are confoozled, and Samus ties Marth up in a barbed-wire wrapped straitjacket to temporarily prevent further chaos. Then the Zichus drop in and surround the Smashers.

"Man, this is getting old." Link complains. "These Zichus are an attempt by the author to kill off characters without thinking of original death traps. How lame."

"(kzzt) WARNING—PLOT HOLE DETECTED! PLOT HOLE DETECTED!"

At that exact moment, Majin Buu fell out of the sky and crushed Link into little tiny Linklets, who ran around screaming while Buu picked them up and ate them one by one, then wiped everyone's memory and disappeared.

After everyone remembered who they were, they resumed screaming about the Zichus. Samus projected a force field to cover the group as the Zichus advance.

"You know," Dr. Mario stated, "They will still eat us eventually."

"Shut up." Samus replied.

T-6:00 UNTIL ABC, SEVEN SMASHERS REMAIN

CLIFFHANGER-NO-JUTSU! Anyway, please R&R, flames acceptable, since I probably will just delete them anyway…I need suggestions on who to kill of next. If you have any, they would be greatly appreciated.