Hey, peoples! Well, this is it. This is the chapter you have all been waiting for. It's the chapter... where everything falls into place.
Yep, that's the one. I hope you enjoy this, because I loved writing it.
Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans... sadly enough.
Chapter 4. Back to Reality
"Candi! Tameko!" Terra called as she approached her locker, the apple gone. They smiled and hugged her as she stuffed her backpack into it.
"Did you get rid of Beast Boy?" Tameko asked. "I think so," she replied, "But I'm not sure. He might come back. If he does, and he approaches you, don't say a word."
"Got it, girl," Candi swore, "So, was he, like, a stalker or something?" "I don't know."
"Did you have the pizza?" Tameko inquired. "Yeah, we had pizza, and he rambled on about me being this Terra he was obviously involved with, and when I told him I wasn't, he only got more desperate."
"Wow, harsh," Tameko murmured. "Yeah, but it was the only way to get him off my chest," Terra groaned as bell rang for first period.
BBB
"Terra? Can I see you a moment?"
As Terra approached the Social Studies teacher, she tried to look open.
"You're leaving soon, right?" he asked. She nodded. "Well, I certainly hope you enjoyed your time here at Murikami High. I mean, this is one of the best schools in the city. You should be honored to have come here, and-"
"Sorry, sir, but I have to leave," Terra excused herself as politely as possible, and went out the door.
She saw the thing she didn't want to see. She saw Tameko and Candi, arms crossed, faces agitated, standing in front of Beast Boy, who also looked edgy.
He turned to look at her, and she made a face before walking towards next period class.
"Terra, wait! I'm sorry for yesterday," he tried. "I'm gonna be late for Biology," she said, not looking at him.
That period, particularly boring for the fact that they watched a video about the elements, passed by slowly. Terra let her mind fall asleep, and she hoped that Beast Boy would be gone.
Surprise, surprise.
"Are you gonna keep running away from me?" he asked, his voice getting edgy after she ignored him as she walked out.
"I'm not running from anything. Go! Home!" she ordered. "Not until you talk to me," he replied. "You can't keep following me," she pointed out.
"Why not?.!" he spat. She pointed at the door in front of her.
"It's the girl's locker room," she said. He blushed, and she shut the door.
She went to her locker, and she took off her shirt roughly, revealing her bra. The skin underneath it hurt really bad as it was stretched by the rough movement, and Terra winced, grabbing at it. The girl next to her stared, obviously noticing the ex-geomancer for the first time.
"Whoa... What did you do?" she asked, pointing to her chest.
Terra looked down, and saw something that made her gasp. She had not noticed this before.
There was a burn line, black and indented, all the way around her chest, like the bottom of a steel bra was stuck to her.
"You failed me, apprentice. I ordered you to destroy the Titans; you did not. I commanded you to fight, and you ran."
Hurt... Ow... Am I bleeding?...
"Unnhh... You can't treat me like this!"
"Can't I?"
"Unnh! Ohh..." Pain... so intense...
"Who else would have you, my dear? You've done terrible things. Unforgivable things. Where else could you possibly go?"
"Anywhere but here! I'm sick of fighting, and I'm SICK of YOU! Unnhh... Urrgghh..." Breastplate! That's what's on my skin?...
"You'll find that quite impossible. Your suit has a neural interface, built into your nervous system. Into your skin. It's part of you, and so am I, Terra."
Fear. I... I have to get away, get out!
"No..."
"You chose this life, apprentice. It's too late to change your mind now. Far too late."
No way, bud. I'm leaving you. Forever.
"But it's not too late for me to walk out the door."
"I'm afraid it is, my dear. You see, you no longer have any control in the matter."
"You swore to fight at my side forever. That's a promise I intend to make you keep."
Terra shook her head.
Terra from my memories... no. It's not "Terra from my memories". I am the Terra from my memories. I am the Terra that was involved with Beast Boy.
I betrayed the Teen Titans. Isacrificed myself, stopping the volcano I had created on accident, using so much power Iturned to stone.
I was the one on the Ferris Wheel with Beast Boy, where the kiss almost happened. Iwas the one who skipped rocks with him, fought with him, thought he lied to me
I am the Terra who liked supreme pizza, extra anchovies, minus the mushrooms. I am the Terra who liked stars on the ceiling of my room, because I loved to sleep outside, because I had lived in the wilderness for a while.
Iam the Terra who Raven hated; Iam the Terra who Beast Boy loved... and who loved Beast Boy.
I am Terra.
"Terra? Terra?"
Candi, dressed in her gym uniform, stood in front of the stock-still Terra, who was still holding her Oxford in her gripped hands. The blonde's eyes got misty--no, an understatement. They looked positively soaked.
"Terra, what's wrong?" Candi asked. Terra ducked her head, and Candi grabbed her arm as the tears began to come.
"Go... Go on to class. Tell Brandenburg that I'm sick and I'll sit out," Terra whispered. Candi nodded and did so, learning early on that Terra was not much of a sit-down-and-explain person.
Unless she was with Beast Boy. But, of course, Candi didn't know that.
As soon as the locker room was empty, Terra sat down on the bench, balanced her forehead in her palms, and sobbed.
BBB
By the end of the period, Terra had stopped her crying jag and cleaned herself up, back in her shirt, hair combed, face clear of blotches, eyes clear.
"Terra? You better?" Candi asked, as Terra waited by the door. "Yep. Way better," Terra replied, but she was worried that Beast Boy was still there. Would she go with him?
Bbrriinngg!.!
Terra and Candi looked out the door, and found no Beast Boy. In fact, for the next three periods, Beast Boy wasn't there. Terra felt a little sad, actually. Did he give up on her so easily? He couldn't have...
Then, in sixth period--study period--Beast Boy found her in the library. He sat down across from her, and soon fell asleep. She tried to look occupied, but she was actually deep in thought.
Beast Boy wants me to join the team again. That would go against my game plan, my first game plan. I don't want to ruin it. In my first life, I was a marionette, made by fear. That's not me now. But I want him to know that I...
A buzz startled her, and she heard a familiar "Ahh! I'm-I'm awake!"
"Sshh!" people hissed around them. She looked above her masses of books, and furrowed her brow slightly in embarassment. "Go outside!" she whispered. He looked at her, equally as angry. "So now you're talking to me?" he asked.
"Sshh!" the librarian hissed. Terra looked back at the changeling. "You're going to get me in trouble! Go outside!" "Not unless you come with me," he ordered.
The librarian looked like she was about to hop out of her chair to whack them both on the head with her ruler. Terra threw the Titan a look, and walked outside, gathering her Geometry book and other things she needed.
They met in the hall, and looked at each other for a few seconds, minds racing.
Terra broke the silence. Seventh period was coming up. "Okay. You've got two minutes," she announced.
"Maybe you don't remember, but I do," Beast Boy said, reaching his hand out to her. "You're my friend. You're a Teen Titan."
She backed away. "You're wrong," she insisted.
I can never go back, Beast Boy. I have done so much, and in so little time.
"You don't belong here, Terra," Beast Boy said. That name... brought so much pain...
"Stop calling me that!" Terra demanded shrilly, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. She looked away, at the floor.
You don't know... how powerful a word... a name... is, Beast Boy. Especially mine.
"It's who you are," Beast Boy said calmly. Exactly, Beast Boy. That's what hurts. Hurts so, so very much...
Terra's eyes welled up momentarily at that thought. "What do you want from me?.!" she whimpered.
To fess up? Then what'll you do, huh? Be triumphant? Go tell everyone? Don't tell everyone, please... I can't handle my identity right now. It's too much.
"Why can't things just go back to the way they were?" Beat Boy asked, to no one. He turned to her, his eyes soft. "You were so happy, then."
A moment of silence passed, again.
How can you say I was happy, Beast Boy? I was decieving the team. I couldn't control my powers, until I became an apprentice to your team's arch enemy? Even when I was with you, I was feeling a pain, within, covered by the smile, because I knew I was only hurting you.
I hurt you. I hurt myself. I was anything but happy.
"Things were never the way you remember," Terra concluded, "Now just leave me alone." I'm going onto a new life. Why don't you
"Here," Beast Boy said, digging out a communicator out of his belt, "Take this, in case you're in trouble. In case you need me; you can call me anytime."
Terra stared at it, and remembered the two times she had been offered this device.
BBB
"Wow..."
"Of course, you'll need more training. I know you have a little trouble controlling your powers, and we can help."
I dropped the communicator, my heart sinking. Slade was right...
"You TOLD him?.!"
"I didn't!"
"You PROMISED! You LIED to me! You LIED!"
And later... weeks later...
"So... Does this mean I'm-?"
"A Teen Titan. Glad to have you on the team."
"I don't believe it. They actually trust me."
Boy, is Slade gonna be proud of me!
BBB
Terra broke away from the memories, back to the present.
I can't. Then I wouldn't be letting the past go, like I need to. To move on to this new Terra Markov.
"I don't need it," Terra decided. "But-" Beast Boy began, but Terra began to walk away.
"Time's up," she clipped. Even though she wasn't looking at him, Terra could feel those green eyes bearing into her back.
"Terra..." he trailed off, his voice getting sad. Terra stopped, hugging her books to her chest.
I need to change, Beast Boy. Can't you see that? Please... I need to change from my old self. I have this chance, and I want to take it.
"Things change, Beast Boy," she murmured, and turned to face him. "The girl you want me to be is just a memory."
Another silence, staring at each other.
Oh, God... Beast Boy, please forgive me. I'm so sorry.
"Come in, Beast Boy!" a call came from Beast Boy's communciator. He picked it up. "We need your help!" It was Robin.
Beast Boy shut it off, and looked at Terra once more. "Come with me," he pleaded, his voice soft.
Terra shook her head.
Please. Let me go. We both need to think for a while.
"You go," she said, "You're the Teen Titan. It's who you are. That's not me. I'm not a hero. I'm not out to save the world. I'm just... a girl with a Geometry test next period and I haven't studied."
Bell rang. Terra backed up, never taking her eyes off of Beast Boy.
He still stood there, even as she backed away, farther... farther...
Please... Please. Let me go. Can't you see that I will always love you? That I will die with the knowledge of a time when you loved me?
She went into class, and asked for a hall pass to the office. When she walked out again, after tardy bell rang, she saw that Beast Boy was gone.
She expected to be happy, but she only felt... sadness. She had once again pushed him away.
She walked down to the office, and asked Mrs. Higuchi for withdrawal from Murikami High. The principal didn't hesitate when she saw Terra's face and heard the urgency in her voice.
When Terra had changed back into street clothes, and was walking out into the sunshine, a quote she heard before popped into her mind, fitting the past two days to a glove.
Some people never get happy endings.
BBB
Such a sad chappie to write! But DAMN there was so much REVELATIONS! I hope you enjoyed them. It was exhilerating to write them, that's for sure! I was practically crying as I wrote Terra's scene in the girl's locker room.
Well, the only way left to go is up from here, so hold on and stick with me!
