Author's Note: 'Tis a new chapter! Behold! To the park, where Kimura and Nanako are doing whatever it is that families do at parks. I didn't like parks much as a kid, you know, I was kind of reclusive. My only impression of parks is... actually, I don't have one. Therefore, this chapter should be interesting.

Read, review, and enjoy.

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Sakaki sat quietly in the park, trying her best to not be noticed. It was no secret that she was rather blessed in the body she'd received. It was tall, it was athletic, and rather good at turning heads, although Sakaki herself wasn't terribly fond of that last aspect. The body was, in fact, pretty good all-around, and one would be hard-pressed to find an aspect that was bad or even average for that matter.

She made use of one of those aspects, her rather wonderful vision, to watch things from a distance without getting actively involved in the situation. Today, she watched a little girl with bright green hair arranged like a four-leaf clover. Sakaki's affinity for adorable things drew her attention to the girl, but she was absolutely shocked when she saw the person the girl was playing with.

The girl looked almost a mirror-image of Sakaki in her youth, which was jarring enough, but the similarities didn't end there. She could see that the girl was somewhat awkward, and that despite the little green girl's efforts, she still seemed somewhat quiet and withdrawn. The girl did everything proper for her situation, but somehow still looked uncomfortable.

Sakaki sympathized with her.

"Is that her?" asked a familiar voice.

"Playing with Koiwai's daughter? Yeah, I think so," replied another familiar voice.

Sakaki turned slightly, and in doing so turned her attention to two people crouching in the bushes, one dressed in a bright purple suit and the other dressed in a bright blue suit. Yukari and Kurosawa, respectively, although what they were doing at the time was quite a mystery to Sakaki.

"Is that Koiwai's daughter?" Yukari asked, not noticing Sakaki.

Minamo, too concerned with berating Yukari, also did not notice Sakaki. "You helped him with translating some things a few months ago, don't you remember? Besides, how could you forget her? She's got green hair."

"Yeah, I guess that is a little hard to miss. Can you see him yet?"

"Koiwai's daughter seemed to go out as she pleased, so I don't think he'd be here with her."

Minamo sighed heavily. "Not Koiwai, Kimura. Why would we be looking for Koiwai?"

"Well, he is single, and you a…" Yukari trailed off, noticing Minamo's glare.

Her friend's expression softened, and Yukari grinned back. "Aww, dear, I knew you could never be mad at your beloved Yuka-chan."

"Not that, behind you."

"Hmm?" Yukari turned swiftly, facing Sakaki. "Aha! A spy! Who are you working for? The soviets? We'll stop you, you commie spy!"

Sakaki was shocked by the accusation out of the blue and was not entirely sure how to respond. "I… er… I'm not a soviet spy…"

"Yukari, she's not a soviet spy." Minamo confirmed.

"No, we've got to prosecute her! Criminals always lie, you know, so the only way to attain true justice is to get them all convicted guilty!"

"There's probably something severely flawed with that theory of law."

"No, you fool, you don't get it, do you? Of course you don't, you're just some rookie defense attorney, and so you wouldn't understand. You simply don't have the same heart as a prosecuting attorney."

"I could've sworn that the joke was that attorneys in general don't have hearts."

"Erm, if you don't mind me asking," Sakaki said, inserting herself back into the conversation, "why are you two at the park?"

"I should ask you the very same question!" shouted Yukari. "Leering eerily at little girls while hidden away, were you? Aha, perhaps the similarity between her and Kimura's daughter is more than just looks. Blood relations, perhaps?"

"I'm sorry about Yukari, really," said Minamo. "We're here investigating Kimura, due to a few pet theories that we've got bouncing around. We were looking for him, but it seems that we only found his daughter."

"Oh. Well, he's actually just over there… I picked this spot specifically because he couldn't see me."

"You see, Nyamo?" Yukari started. "He's obviously acting perverse towards Sakaki, forcing her to hide in the bushes lest she languish underneath his lecherous glare!"

"That's still her perception, I think. We need some real evidence, Yukari. That'll point towards the truth."

"What's say you we do an experiment?"

"Is 'What's say you' even proper grammar?"

"I didn't hear no. Get your wallet. Sakaki, are your friends here?"

"Osaka, Tomo, and Yomi are somewhere else in the park, doing… er… I don't know what, really. I saw them somewhere over that way, but I didn't approach them."

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"Tomo… Tomo, you aren't seriously considering this, are you?" Yomi asked, eying her friend nervously.

"Well, it depends on what they're going to pay."

"Tomo… this is Kimura."

"Yeah, you do have a point. What exactly did you want again, Yukari?"

Minamo sighed. Geez, so informal?

"What? Oh, right. We're investigating Kimura, so of course we need evidence one way or another that he's a pervert, right? Well, the best way to get evidence is to make it."

"Isn't that kinda illegal?" Osaka asked.

"No." replied Yukari, not batting an eye.

"Oh, alrigh' then. As you were, Miss Yukari."

"So we're gonna do a little experiment. We're going to run two of you by him and see how he reacts, but we're not going to do it so dully. You two are going to have to stop in front of him and kiss each other, in order to bust out maximum temptation. If Kimura really is of noble heart and soul, then he won't react at all."

"Oh, I gotcha then," said Osaka. "It's a trap, just like Endor."

"Wha? Oh, nevermind, Are you two willing to do it? Nyamo's got deep, deep pockets."

Yomi glanced back and forth between Tomo and Yukari, recognizing all too well the familiar sight of a plan slowly forming in their heads. More urgently, she realized the necessity of her doing something to stop the plan from coming to be. She glanced over to Osaka and realized that that girl would probably be no help at all right now. Turning to Minamo with the air of someone who was at her wit's end, she made a desperate effort to save herself from her fate.

"Miss Kurosawa, what exactly is your theory about Kimura? Out of curiosity, of course."

"Oh, well, we got to thinking about Kimura yesterday, and after a little bit of thinking,"

"'cause that's all she could manage," inserted Yukari.

"… after a little bit of thinking," continued Minamo, unfazed, "we realized that Kimura's actions don't really make sense as they are. You see, everyone says that he's a pervert, right? He makes lecherous comments, leers at people, and… that's it, isn't it? That's all he does, you know? He just looks, and leers, and most of all he's incredibly obvious about it. He's a pervert without the will to continue on and kick it up to the next level, and yet he doesn't even try to keep it hidden. As a matter of fact, he seems to try his hardest to make everyone else think he's a pervert."

"Think? So you think he's pretending, do you?"

"We're all players on the world's stage." Osaka said nonchalantly.

Everyone stared at her, silence hanging in the air. Yomi decided to voice what everyone else was thinking. "That's… unusually profound for you."

"Oh, sorry 'bout that."

Yomi sighed, realizing that despite delaying time with Kurosawa's theory and Osaka's statement, she had found absolutely nothing that could stop Yukari and Tomo.

"So, how's five thousand yen sound?"

"Wonderful."

Yomi resisted sagging to the ground, realizing that she couldn't do anything, that she was powerless to stop anyone. Tomo smiled at Yukari, grinning her perfect smile. In that smile, Yomi saw her impending torment.

Osaka smiled as well, albeit less toothily. "Excuse me, Miss Yukari, but don'tcha think you've got a little discrepancy between your plan and your experiment?"

"What? He's either a pervert or he isn't, so we'll have to see if he's perverse, Osaka. Come on now."

"No, no, don'tcha see it? Right there, there's your contradiction, really."

"Hey, I'm Edgeworth here, don't go pointing out contradictions to me!"

"Wha? Oyah, anyway, you can't tell? You're a teacher, I thought you'd figure it out, but I guess if you proposed the plan you wouldn't anyway. The problem is that your theory here's that Kimura's just a great pretender, righ'? Yah, yah, but you see, the experiment doesn't fit. If Kimura only pretends to fool the school, then he should still be pretending in front of Tomo and Yomi, so you can't use girls from our school, it won't work."

"…"

"As much as it surprises me," Yomi said, attempting to cover up her relief. "Osaka's really quite correct here. It doesn't work."

"Hm, I suppose so," Yukari said. "Oh well, Minamo, we've got to find some other girls. Have a nice afternoon, ladies."

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"You're looking for someone to tempt that guy?" asked a girl.

"You know, Yukari, I think this one might be good. She's a high school kid alright. Er, who are you again?"

"My name is Fuuka! It means the scent of the wind! Anyway, I already walked by that guy, and he didn't really give me any looks or anything, so if you're worried about him being a pervert, I don't think you've got too much to worry about."

"Aha, thank you for your help!" Minamo said, smiling.

"Nah, I don't think you really helped," Yukari replied, frowning at the girl.

"What? Why not?"

"Too plain, I don't think you'd have drawn his attention either way. Do you have a pretty older sister? Maybe a college girl?"

So… cruel, thought Minamo. How can she be so cruel to people she doesn't even know?

Fuuka wandered off without saying anything else.

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"Whaat? Yuka-chan, you can't… you can't be serious, can you?"

"Yukari… I take what I said this morning back. This is now officially the worst idea you've ever had ever, even worse than the suits, and even worse than the chocolate and the gerbils and the tube."

"What about the one with the funnel and the eels?"

"Still worse, but let's not go into detail about that one."

"Yeah, I gotcha, they're probably too young."

"No, let's just never go into detail about that one ever."

"But as I recall, you liked the eels."

"Yukari…"

"Miruchi, what's the worst that can happen? They're going to pay us, and that way we can go hang out without having to ask our parents for money. Chiyo keeps showing us up like that, you know."

"Showing us up? It's not a competition, Yuka-chan."

"Oh, let's just ask them what we need to do first, yeah? Well, lady, what do you want us to do?"

"Okay, you see that guy with the glasses over there? Yeah, what we want you two to do is to simply walk past him, and maybe do a few things in front of him. You're good friends, right? Therefore, you shouldn't have a problem with doing a bit of hugging and kissing with each other, right?"

Minamo recoiled, shocked at Yukari's forwardness. She stepped forward, ready to strike some sense into her friend, but the little girl beat her to the punch.

Miruchi shoved her friend over, and stared straight into Yukari's eyes, looking through her. "Miss… er… for a second, listen to me, despite me being so little. Stop. Think. That's all you should need to do." With that said, Miruchi continued to glare at Yukari, her eyes probing deep into Yukari's mind, and it seemed like something snapped within the older woman.

Yuka shoved her friend back over, and smiled. "So, how much were you offering again?"

Yukari, realizing what she was asking, recoiled slightly. She smiled wanly at the little girl, and then looked past her. "I… uh… I like shorts! They're comfy and easy to wear."

"What?"

"…Light years doesn't measure time, it measures distance!"

"You broke her, Miruchi."

"It's probably for the best, Yuka-chan."

"It is," said Minamo, slowly pulling Yukari away.

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A girl wandered along the park, dressed in a bright red bunny suit, complete with ears. Granted, it wasn't really so much a bunny suit as much as it was a red swimsuit with bunny ears on a headband and a cotton tail .She seemed entirely uncomfortable with her suit, although it definitely suited her pretty face and figure. Red hair framing a soft face completed the outfit, and she walked nervously past Kimura and his daughter.

Another girl ran up from behind her, leaping at the lady in red and tackling her to the ground. This second girl was dressed in the same revealing bunny suit, although hers was an entirely black affair.

The girl in black laughed, glanced around, and then shouted, "Mikuru, why, you look so ridiculously adorable in that bunny suit! Why… why I could just… I could just eat you all up! Ahahah!" With that, she leaned down and began to nibble on the red girl's (human) ear.

"M… Miss Suzumiya… p-please! N…not in… p-public!" protested the girl in red, although it was plain to all that the one dressed in black didn't care.

"Waa! But how could I resist!"

"Wh…why are you doing this, Miss Suzumiya?"

Kimura stared at the two girls for about half a minute, and got up from his bench. Calling out to his daughter, he said, "Come now, Nanako, it's getting late. We've got to get back to mom now. Say goodbye to your friend."

"Yes father. Goodbye, Yotsuba," said the little girl, impossibly polite, and she left, taking her father's hand.

"Yotsuba? I'm here to take you back home as well," said another girl.

"Oh, hello Fuuka! Why're you so glum-looking?" asked Yotsuba, smiling.

"…"

"Oh, so it's that again."

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"I guess it was too much to hope that you would abandon your plan and suffer a sudden bout of maturity, right Yukari?"

"Yep."

"So… shamelessly. Well, at least we got our… evidence."

"You know what's weird?"

"Yukari, you hired two girls dressed in bunny suits to put on a display in front of our colleague who may or may not be a pervert. Furthermore, we're both dressed in suits that, if you are to be believed, represent famous lawyers. This entire thing is weird, unless you've got another shocking revelation for me."

"I only hired the one in black."

"There was a red bunny girl just wandering the park?"

"I guess so. The black one was a good deal, though."

"Oh, so you got a discount on temptation? Actually, are there even established prices for that kind of thing?"

"No, no, she said that I only had to pay half price and put up some advertisements for this… er… I don't know, this SOS Brigade in the hallways at our school."

"I don't think you're allowed to sell our school as adverti… You know what? Nevermind, we got what we came for, I guess, so let's just go home."

"Yes, we got a lot of information today. Should we do a recap right now?"

"No. We'll take a break on Sunday, and on Monday we'll do a little more investigation and finally find the truth."

"Sounds good. Let's find a bar and toast the truth. More fun than recaps."

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Author's Note: There were a lot of cameos in this one. Holy crap. Anyway, the investigation proceeds nicely... Well, I guess that's really not for anyone to judge.Oh, and the little video game reference here is a little bit... well, it's kind of vague, you know. If you got it, feel free to mention it. Just remember that I am really nerdy for some childish stuff, so that might snag it for you. Yadda, yadda, there's really nothing else to say here, aside from the usual.

I feed upon reviews, and it's best to keep your writers well fed, lest quality suddenly take a nosedive when I leave in the middle of a section to find a snack and forget where I've been.