A/N: Thanks to everyone for the great reviews! Oh, yes, I passed my Filipino exam, (barely) so thanks for the concern.
This is one of those climatic (I think) chapters, but it's not gonna be so long. It may be a bit tear-jerking, but that depends on how emotional you are or if you LURVE ShikaHina.
To all ShikaHina lovers, after this chapter, please, please, please, don't flame me!
Gomenasai!
Chapter 5: If I Love You…
"She's getting better, Neji-kun," TenTen said, hoping to soothe him, "you have to admit that. But both of you are quite skilled in your own way, so there's no need to be jealous."
"I never said I was jealous." Neji responded flatly, not even looking at her. His pale eyes were fixed on Hinata. She and Shikamaru were training in the Hyuga courtyard, and she had been able to dodge, stop, and block each and every one of Shikamaru's strikes. Blindfolded.
Watching them as well was Hiashi and Hanabi. Both looked extremely proud of her. She was, after all, 'living up to the standards expected of the clan's heiress'.
"It's…kind of obvious, really," TenTen said softly, "because whenever you look at her, you get this funny look in your eyes. Like you want to…kill her or something."
Silence.
"N-Neji-kun?"
He turned to her, and she was glad to see a smile lighting up his features.
"I'd have to be insane to kill someone for that reason." He said.
"Yeah," she responded, calming down, "yeah, you're right." She gave a small chuckle.
Neji turned back to watch the training session, the smile never leaving his face.
Shikamaru had managed to stop her using the shadow bind. He lunged forward and sank his foot into her gut.
Hinata gave a gasp of pain as her back hit the ground. She took off her blindfold and grinned up at the lazy nin, who was beaming back at her.
"Finally!" he said, throwing up his hands in mock jubilation. "The great heiress falls!"
"Yeah," Neji said softly, "you're right. She will fall."
oOo
"Come on," Shikamaru said, holding out his hand to help Hinata up. "I think we've earned a lunch break"
Hinata took his hand and stood up, grinning mischievously. "We? I'm the one who had to block all attacks blindfolded!"
"What about me? I'm the one who had to attack!"
She giggled and they prepared to leave. Pushing open the courtyard doors, they stepped out.
"So," Shikamaru said, shoving his hands into his pockets, "where to?"
"Oh, anywhere," Hinata said, shrugging. "it's fine with me."
Shikamaru was about to say something, then he noticed a flash of yellow, orange and black from behind a tree a few feet away.
He sure likes to stalk us, he thought, doesn't he?
"Shikamaru-kun?" Hinata asked tentatively, "what's wrong?"
He turned back to her and rearranged his features into a convincing half-smile. "Nothing. Nothing at all."
oOo
Sasuke glanced into the window, watching her tenderly brush her fingers over the photo. His heart ached to see the pale river of tears flowing down her face, and he longed to go inside and comfort her. To whisper to her the whole truth. To brush away any pain she had inside her.
It was the hopes of a fool, and he knew it well. Shaking his head, he jumped down to the ground and disappeared into a dark alleyway. True, he was risking a lot by sneaking into Konoha in daylight. But the crowded streets would lessen the chance of someone seeing or noticing him.
Crouching in the corner, he buried his face in his arms as he tried to rest. He hadn't slept for three days. Someone had seen him three days ago as he had made his way to the village. Now, the Hokage knew he was alive, and she had sent several ANBU members and Jounin to capture him. Ever since then, he had fought to save his neck non-stop.
Sleep overcame the rebel, and he slowly drifted into the world of dreams.
The masked Jounin jumped in front of him, preparing to attack.
Sasuke had, by that time, had enough. For two whole nights people had been trying to murder him and he just felt sick of it.
"Why can't you leave me alone!" he screamed, lunging at him. The Jounin caught him by the ankle and flung him against the nearby tree. Sasuke managed to use it as leverage, and he lunged at him again.
The Jounin sank his foot deep into his gut, and Sasuke found himself lying helpless on the ground.
"My orders were to capture you," the Jounin said, his voice muffled by the mask. He leaned closer, preparing to tie him up. Sasuke stared into his eyes. Kindness and pity shone brightly in them. His heart wasn't in this at all.
But two nights without rest was enough to play tricks on his health. The flickering torches that lay on the ground glowed a bright red as the flames slowly died away. The light seemed to make his eyes turn red, like…like his brother. Itachi. But no…
It's not my brother, Sasuke thought weakly, his eyes never showed kindness. Never.
Then, Kakashi flashed in his mind. His eyes, different shades, but the exact sign of kindness in each.
It's him! His mind thought weakly. He came back to punish me…I killed him, after all. No…no…I didn't. I didn't! It wasn't me! It wasn't me!
The Jounin took out ropes, his eyes never leaving Sasuke's.
Stop…he thought. It wasn't me. Believe me!
"It wasn't me!" he screamed, causing the Jounin temporary paralysis.
Sasuke jumped to his feet, eyes blazing, expression wild.
"It wasn't me!" he screamed again, taking out his kunai and jumping in to attack. It wasn't him. It was his brother. It wasn't him…
Sasuke glared at the broken, bleeding body of the Jounin. He wasn't thinking clearly. He had actually killed someone. But, it was all right, wasn't it? He had tried to capture him, so he had naturally defended himself. It was all right, it was all right…
He carefully peeled back the mask, just so he would be satisfied. He needed to know it wasn't Kakashi-sensei.
It wasn't.
Sasuke found himself staring into the pale face of Asuma-sensei. His eyes were still open, and he seemed to be looking at Sasuke accusingly.
"No," Sasuke whimpered, the tears starting to run down. "I didn't mean to…how could I have known…I never…I…I…"
His eyes just stared at him.
"It's not my fault," Sasuke said, gulping down the tears. "It's not my fault!"
Sasuke woke up with a start. It had come back to haunt him again. Asuma-sensei was dead, and he had killed him.
"But it wasn't my fault." Sasuke said out loud, trying to convince himself. "It wasn't…it wasn't…"
His sobs echoed throughout the deserted alleyway.
Even the strongest could fall.
Especially when the emotional pain was too much for an innocent rebel to handle.
oOo
Hinata sighed as she watched the sun slowly sink in the horizon, setting the sky on fire. The bright red and orange mixed together perfectly. Shikamaru smiled at her.
"Beautiful, isn't it?"
She nodded enthusiastically. "It's just like the time Naruto-kun first brought me here," she said softly, not realizing what she was saying. "The sunset seemed so close, you could almost touch it, and the colors were so bright and rich, it was like the sun was bleeding and…"she trailed off.
Biting her lip, she said, "I'm sorry. I didn't realize what I…I was just…" she bowed her head, trying not to look at him.
He gently laid his hand across her cheek, startling her. She looked up to see his coal-black eyes staring into her pale-lavender ones.
"Hinata, you're doing no one any good if you continue to act like this, you know." he said gently.
"What are you-?"
"When you swore to have nothing to do with him, you were angry that time. Anger clouds the mind and causes people to do or say things they don't really mean."
"Shikamaru-kun, I…"
"Hinata-chan," he removed his hand and grasped her hands tightly, "you know why you were angry at Naruto. Because he never could listen to what his heart was saying. He tried to hide his feelings, and it caused him confusion. Don't do what he did, Hinata. Don't deceive your heart."
She understood what he was saying, and she could only stare into his eyes. Into his soul. Here was the man who loved her so much; he was willing to suffer just so she could be happy. The strongest ninja she would ever meet.
"But," she said softly, "what about…us?"
He had told her, hadn't he, that he had waited for so long. Suffered in silence, because he didn't want to disrupt her happiness. So many years, and he never gave up on her, even though he knew she could probably never be his. Though he knew her heart would always belong to another…
Silence. She could no longer see his expression, for the shadows hid his face from view. And, she knew what he was thinking.
She was his strength, wasn't she? The only reason he never gave up hope. The only thing that kept him going. Maybe, he wasn't strong enough. Maybe he couldn't handle the pain of going back to caged silence. It didn't seem fair to cause him pain, just to make her happy. After all he had done for her, it didn't seem fair.
She felt his fingers under her chin, and she looked at him. His features were calm, relaxed. But his eyes betrayed him. So full of fear, confusion, and sadness, it nearly tore her heart apart just to look into them.
"Hinata-chan," he said softly, "it's all right with me. Whatever you choose, it's all right. After all…"he closed his eyes, trying to block out her face. The face that would cause him empty pain all over again.
"If I love you, I'll let you go."
A/N: I will not cry…I will not cry…
'coz the moment I cry, Id probably zap the keyboard. It is ancient!
Kind of a bittersweet ending, neh? Shikamaru-kun, you rule! Hey, at least you know he loves her that much.
Don't worry; you'll still see a lot of Shikamaru-kun in the later chapters.
The Sasuke's Sorrow part kind of hurt a lot, too. I mean, he killed one of the Jounin's he knew. And, Kakashi's death is probably weighing on his conscience. Survivor's guilt, and all. And, don't worry. You'll know what the heck he's doing in Konoha in the next chapter. And the next chapter will signal the start of the Chuunin matches! NeoW!
PostScript: What is it with sunsets and me? Why can't it be sunrises? Oh well…
